Date: Thu, 07 Sep 2000 15:12:35 GMT
From: J-dot M <catsfan1@hotmail.com>
Subject: Angel's Wings 5

Angel's Wings (Part 5)
Written by JM

--- Da da da da da... what to write, what to write?  Hmmm, it's about
celebrities... yeah, that sounds good.  Two very moral celebrities too...
ooh yeah, that makes it better.  Let's see, what else... oh yeah, these two
male celebrities are together, but that has nothing to do with their actual
personal lives.  Ha ha, oh yeah, forgot this one... it's fiction ALL THE
WAY!  Is that it?  I think so... wait, no... please be 18 or older or have
your parents permission.  Parental Guidance is suggested.  Need some
popcorn?  Maybe a soda?  Got to have the Twizzlers... remember, 'Silence Is
Golden'!  Okay, let's move on to to the previews... ---

--- Rated PG-13: Hey, I'm back!  That's right and I thought I could stay
away.  No, I prayed I could stay away, but this is in my blood.  I've just
got to write.  Anyway, I'm glad to be back with another exciting verse in
the song of Brian and Justin's lives.  Please remember that these stories
are based on the romance created for Brian and Justin through 'Brian and
Justin' and 'Just Beginning'.  This is not called 'JC and Nick' or 'Lance's
Beginnings,' so please respect the fact that they will not get all the
attention in the world.  If you don't know by now, send all comments to:
catsfan1@hotmail.com  Thank you very much!  Enjoy the show... ---

		-Feature Presentation: Angel's Wings, Rated R-

		The sun peeked its way into the the windows of many hotel rooms that
morning.  It wasn't late enough for the sun to unfold and stretch the full
length of its beaming arms, but enough for the sun to yawn and smile out a
shimmering glitz of orangy and yellowish light that seemed to fluster all
over Orlando.  It pawed at the beaches and tapped on the windows of adults
so that they could be prepared for the awakening of their children in the
coming hours.  The sun allowed its warmth to slowly suck up the cold breeze
of the night and gradually add its falvoring and spice to the air to give it
a tropical feel, just as Orlando always seemed to carry.
		The sun played its part in awakening some of the inhabitants of a small
hotel on the edge of Orlando.  It slithered through the curtains of the
hotel and patted the shoulders of some of the members of *NSYNC and their
tour entourage.  They had arrived in Orlando but five hours previous and the
long trip to get there, on the tour buses, prevented them from having the
strength to leave for their homes in the large city.  Their cars were
nowhere near this portion of the town and the night seemed to beckon them to
rest and sleep.  With a unison of agreeance, they took up occupation in the
hotel and endeavored to rid themselves of their wearriness so that they
could return to their homes for their two days off before having their final
show in the place of their origin.
		Again, the sun played an important role in waking two members of the tour.
  One seemed to be waken by the urge for playing while the other was forced
to be awakened by the beams that hit his closed eyes as he strived to have
at least four more hours of sleep.  After all, Justin Littrell knew his
husband and son would be arriving at the hotel around noon to take him home
and back to a place where he could get to know his family again.  And in his
hotel bed, with the covers only covering the bottom-half of his body, he
didn't feel all that comfortable.
		The added sensation of lips frolicking across his neck helped and, then
again, it hurt Justin.  He couldn't get away from what he needed to so he
could return to his normal life as a married man.  He cursed himself for
allowing Joshua Chasez, the man he called J.C., to sleep in his bed when
they arrived to the hotel.  J.C. had his own room with his stuff in it, but
when J.C. complained of loneliness and told Justin that he needed to lay
with him, Justin did not fight the temptation.  He beckoned J.C. to end
their making out after J.C. crept into the bed with Justin, but he allowed
J.C. to hug him through the night and play with his hair.  He allowed J.C.
to kiss him occasionally.  And with all of that, Justin felt guilty, guilty
beyond belief.  It was his greatest barrier and his greatest friend: his
conscience.  It prevented Justin from having a full-fledged affair, but
Justin still felt wrong for kissing any other man, for touching another man,
for believing he could have sex with some one else outside of the one he
loved, Brian Littrell.
		When feeling J.C.'s lips linger around the hollow of his neck while his
hands began to paw and grab at his waist and chest, Justin felt wrong.  For
some reason, Justin could never speak up about it though.  He permitted J.C.
to grind his hips into Justin's ass.  He could feel an erection straining
against J.C.'s boxers while Justin felt nothing inside of his own
boxer-briefs.  He wasn't getting hard.
		"Oh, baby, can we please fool around?" J.C. requested, kissing Justin's
earlobe and then trailing his kisses down to Justin's shoulder.  Justin
reached back and fondled J.C.'s brown hair, sighing without contentment in
his voice.  He did not want to answer J.C.'s inquiry.  Truthfully, his body
called for sexual attention while the rest of him seemed to malfunction.
Nothing else wanted to be apart of J.C., except his body.  He yawned
quietly, batting his eyes open.  He sniffled and then stretched in the bed.
		"Come on Justin, please." J.C. begged, maneuvering so that he was on top
of Justin, straddling his waist.  Justin peered at J.C. with a disbelief in
his eyes.  J.C. leaned down and smiled at Justin.  He placed his hands on
either side of Justin's head, resting them firmly into Justin's pillow.  He
licked his lips in a delicate fashion.  "Please baby?" J.C. pleaded with
puppy-dog eyes.  He batted them, his semi-long lashes winking out innocent
glances.  He leaned further down and pressed his lips to Justin's.  Justin
opened his mouth, somewhat accepting the kiss.  He felt J.C.'s tongue slide
across his and then over his teeth.  He raised his hand and placed it behind
J.C.'s head, holding it so that he could slurp on the nectar-y lips that
belonged to his friend.  Their flavor were undeniable.  He felt the
vibrations of J.C.'s moan run through his moan and then the pressure of
J.C.'s crotch on his caused him to pull out a groan of his own.  With J.C.
gyrating their bodies together, he could feel his body naturally react and
produce an erection.  He gripped at J.C.'s body and then the sheets, trying
to pull them further upward to hide J.C.'s exposed body.  The sounds of
ruffling and then the feeling of J.C.'s naked skin against his barely
covered one brought about a realization.  J.C. was now nude.  Justin
pressured out another groan, holding the small of J.C.'s back as they
continued to wrestle through their kissing.
		"Jesus, Justin, I want you to make love to me..." J.C. breathed out as he
yanked his lips away from Justin's.  It was a command.  Justin felt the
precum leaking from the tip of his cock as he tried to control himself.  He
had to stop, soon.  "I want you inside of me..." J.C. whispered into
Justin's ear before he dragged his teeth along Justin's cheek and then his
neck.  Justin gasped, placing his hands on J.C.'s shoulder so that he could
lift him up.  The sweat caused his curls to begin to matt-up and his mind
was alternating.  He felt J.C. suckling the skin near his chin.  He didn't
want it anymore.
		Justin pushed J.C. up, panting uncontrollably.  He didn't receive any
looks from J.C.  He quickly turned his head the other way, gasping for air.
His conscience was suffocating him.  "Stay right here hon'.  I'm gonna go
grab a condom from my room... unless you have one here?" J.C. said softly,
circling his fingers in Justin's hair.  Justin continued to breathe heavily,
holding in aching tears.  'What am I going to do?  Cry and end up making
love to him?  I have to say something.  I have to stand up for my marriage.'
Justin told himself as he felt J.C. slinking out of the bed.  "I know I
probably have about three condoms in my bag, so I'll go get them." J.C.
informed Justin as he slipped fully out of the bed, searching the room for
clothing he could wear.  Justin curled up on the bed.  He ignored J.C.  He
decided it would be best to wait until J.C. returned to inform him it was
not going to happen, again.  He heard the door shut to his room and
inevitably, it was shutting on another part of his life.
		J.C. felt a silly grin tugging on his full lips.  He stared at the door to
Justin's room, his hand still on the knob and his other hand pressed against
the cool surface.  He kept the door slightly crack so that access inside
would be easier for him.  'Well, here it goes... he's finally going to make
love to me.' J.C. smiled to himself as he slowly backed away from the door.
It was a thought he had dwelled on for weeks and a notion inside of him told
him that one day it could be possible.  It wasn't an easy thing to cope
with.  After all, J.C. was engaged, in a way seducing and having an affair
with his best friend, and still caught up in his emotions and battles with
Nikki.  'Where's the good Samaritan Lance at when I need him?' J.C.
contemplated, turning on his heels to head in the direction of his room.
		As he turned on his heels, he heard a distinctive laughter and then
another familiar sound.  It was in the hallway and it was not Lance.  A
ghost ran over J.C.'s grave, sending his face into a white hue as his hollow
eyes glanced down the hallway to see two people advancing toward his end of
the hall.  Neither saw him, they were too caught up in laughter to notice at
the second.  "Oh shit," J.C. muttered unconsciously.  He was scared,
fearful.  His heart leaped into his throat to silence any other form of
speaking as his body became rigid and unmovable.  Death was but a few steps
away.
		After his words had senselessly fell from his lips, eyes began to run in
J.C.'s direction.  J.C. wanted to run himself, but couldn't find the
strength.  "Josh?" Nick Carter spoke out with wonder, staring at his fiancé
clad in a pair of boxers and an unfamiliar shirt.  J.C. swallowed hard,
unable to reply to his fiancé.  He cautiously ran his eyes to the other
party, Brian Littrell.  Brian held Angel Littrell, his son, in his arms with
a raised brow.  J.C. felt a little distrust running over Brian, but not
enough to convict anyone yet.  "I was about to go and see you... down at
your room, though.  Why are you over here baby?" Nick asked curiously,
somewhat aware of who's room J.C. stood next to.  J.C. was unable to answer
his fiancé directly.  He was dumbfounded by the sight of Nick and Brian mere
inches from him.  He did not expect Nick until that evening and he was aware
that Brian would be arriving to pick up Justin around noon.  Now, in the
midst of the morning, J.C. was speechless at their arrival.
		Brian adjusted Angel in his arms, staring at the shirt J.C. wore.  It was
more than vaguely familiar.  It was a baby blue Abercrombie & Fitch shirt,
one Justin wore.  Brian could never remember a time when J.C. had a shirt in
the least comparison to the one he was dressed in now.  His bluish eyes
lowered to see the boxers J.C. was wearing.  'Why is he wearing boxers?  Why
is he by Justin's door?' Brian's thoughts began to trifle with his mind as
he glared at J.C.  He was feeling insecure and insecure led to one definite
emotion.
		J.C. stepped forward in the direction of Nick, hoping to avoid the
anger-filled glances he was beginning to get from Brian.  "Babe, I was just
checking on Justin.  He's rather homesick." J.C. lied.  Sweat was breaking
from his brow again, except this time it was not caused by sexual tension.
He felt his hands shaking as he began to lift them to hug Nick.  Nick had an
expression of uncertainty holding his face in position.  He bit his lower
lip, slowly lifting his own arms to grab J.C.
		Brian peered at Nick.  He took a small sniff of J.C. as he came close to
Nick.  It was definitely a distinct smell, one that Brian knew too well.  It
was a grand mixture of Armani Eporium, Tigi's Bed Head, and a manly scent
from a younger man.  His hand automatically jerked up and latched onto
J.C.'s arm, squeezing it violently and yanking J.C. closer.  J.C. yelped
with pain, tumbling in Brian's direction and never embracing Nick.  Nick
stumbled back with surprise, his head instinctively snapping in Brian's
direction.  He was ready to react in a violent form until he began to
calculate Brian's actions.  Something was wrong with the picture.
		J.C. was beginning to crouch over in pain, his arm swelling and turning
red under Brian's grip.  His eyes pleaded with Brian to release him.  He
feared Brian's wrath and seeing the distrust in Brian's eyes did not help
his feelings in any form.  "You smell like him.  Why the hell do you smell
like him?!" Brian barked at J.C., holding him in his position.  J.C.
struggled with his own strength to break free of Brian, but it seemed as if
Brian had grown in strength.  He couldn't escape the grip that was causing
him excruciating pain.  His eyes lined up with tears of anguish.  "Why are
you wearing his shirt?  Why were you in my husband's room?" Brian again
questioned him with a hiss.  J.C.'s lower lip trembled, unable to answer
Brian.  A few tears slid out of his eyes as he endeavored to pull away.
"Why the fuck do you smell like Justin?!" Brian yelled at J.C., his loud
voice resounding through the hall and causing curiosity to build from the
other rooms.
		Nick finally interjected.  He disliked seeing J.C. in pain.  He nudged
Brian and then shoved him, creating a gap between J.C. and Brian.  Nick
latched onto J.C. and pulled him into his arms, holding him closely so that
he could recover from the ache Brian gave him.  "Leave him alone Brian, he
told you what he was doing in Justin's room." Nick defended J.C. hesitantly.
  Brian shook his head, his face turning a shade of red.  Nick's eyes peeped
around to see Chris, Meelah, and Danay glancing into the hallway.  "That's
not really why you were in Justin's room, is it J.C.?  You're in your
boxers, wearing his shirt and you smell like him... like you just had sex
with him." Brian growled, starting to reach for J.C. again.  Nick yanked
J.C. back, backing himself into a wall to protect the man he loved.  He
listened to J.C. cry softly, holding onto Nick tightly for fear of Brian.
He wanted to block out all the words Brian said, to deny each one.  "You
weren't checking on him, were you?" Brian asked with a new height of anger.
		Finally, sobs broke from J.C.'s lips.  He shook his head and sighed.
"No... I spent the night in his room... we kissed and touched... but we
didn't have sex..." J.C. admitted to the hallway as Joey, Britney, and Nikki
finally escaped their rooms.  A silence seemed to coat the hallway following
J.C.'s words.
		Justin stretched near the window in his room.  He had escaped from the
tanglement of his sheets and made an exit to the bathroom.  He wanted to
freshen up some and prepare himself to finally reveal his feelings to J.C.
Now he stood near the window gathering himself, deaf to what had occured in
the hallway minutes before.
		The sounds of his door sliding open caused Justin to sigh unhappily.  He
drew his fingers through his strawberry blonde hair and sniffled.  He kept
his back to the door.  His arms crossed and he licked his lips.  'Be strong
Justin.' he told himself.  He heard the door close and he knew it was time
to speak.  "Finally back, eh?" Justin questioned sarcastically, cocking his
head to the side while looking out the window.
		"Did you have sex with him?" a hissing voice questioned Justin from the
door.  Justin felt his heart jump.  He became stiff when identifying the
country accent that spoke to him.  He breathed heavily as he slowly turned
around, fearing the worst.
		Brian stood near the door with Angel still nestled in his arms.  Angel was
clutching onto his father with fear running through his deep blue eyes.
Brian's own face was filled with rage and disgust.  The love in his azure
eyes died and only a ghost of the past remained in his pupils.  His jawbone
flexed and his cheeks were sucked in.  His brow was wrinkled and his eyes
were peering.  His lips were firmly pressed together, leaving them light
pink.
		Justin choked softly when looking upon them.  He eyed Brian as Brian
walked further into the room, setting their son down on the bed.  "Daddy..."
Angel said quietly as he viewed his other father.  He got into a crawling
position, frowning at Justin.  "Don't go anywhere Timber." Brian whispered,
rubbing Angel's head as he gradually backed away from the bed.  He did not
wish to place his son on the bed that he thought his husband may have had
sex with anotehr on.  He had no choice, though.  There was no other place
Brian could think of to put their son as he questioned his husband.
		"Brian, I... I..." Justin was at a loss for words.  He eyed Brian as he
circled around the bed and then near the dresser.  "So is that the problem
you couldn't tell me before?  Is he the reason you've been crying?  Because
you wanted to have sex with him?  Because you did have sex with him?" Brian
asked in a convicting way.  He kept his angered expression alive, staring at
Justin with pure distaste.  He couldn't interpret a straight answer from
Justin's facial expressions.  They were too somber, too displaced.  "I
didn't... I didn't Brian." Justin breathed out.  Brian didn't believe him.
It was sad, but it was also true.
		"He said that ya'll kissed.  He said it," Brian commented in a stern
voice.  His eyes observed Justin's tense motions, quick glances now and then
toward their son.  "Did you kiss him?  Did you want to kiss him?  Did you
want to fuck him, Justin?" Brian became harsher with his words as he thought
of the weeks Justin had been on the road with J.C. and the possiblities.  He
could see Justin flinch when he raised his voice.  It intimidated Justin.
He didn't like that, but his judgment was clouded.
		"Brian, I was lonely.  I mean... I don't know." Justin stuttered out.
"Don't give me that loneliness bullshit Justin.  Be straight up with me.
Did you want to fuck him?" Brian shouted at Justin, causing both Angel and
Justin to jump with surprise.  Justin found himself backing into a corner
with fear.  He had never viewed Brian so angry at him.  He had seen it with
others, the rage and the wrath.  Justin had never been that far on the
receiving end.  He shivered at the sound.  "Stop treating me like this.  I
never did this to you when you almost fucked Nick ten billion times in the
past." Justin finally counteracted, releasing his own shout.  Brian curled
his lip.  "Don't try and change the subject on me, Justin.  You can't pull
that 'I was neglected by you for Nick' bullshit anymore.  You did wrong.
Now, did you want to fuck J.C.?!" Brian battled, slamming his hand down onto
Justin's dresser.  Justin cringed again, but held his ground.  He lowered
his eyes, shame grabbing him.  He let the silence encircle the room.
		"Yes." Justin finally whispered in the angered silence.  He sniffled and
turned his head downward.  He did not keep his head down long when hearing a
cup slam down onto the floor of his hotel room.  He threw his head up to
look at Brian.  Brian's face was completely red with anger.  His fists were
gripped shut and his eyes were learing at Justin.  His lips were pressed
closed, turning the pigment white.  "You kissed him!  You wanted to fuck
him!  You wanted our marriage to end just like that and I didn't do shit.  I
didn't cheat on you, abuse you, or even give you reason to backstab me.
What's your reason?  You don't fucking know.  That's some straight
out-of-high-school shit Justin, grow the fuck up.  I gave you every bit of
my life and you fuck me over just like you wanted to fuck J.C." Brian
screamed at Justin without an ounce of reservation.  He did not know how to
withhold his feelings or his emotions.  Once they made contact with his
mind, he had no choice but to release them.  "I didn't mean to.  I wasn't
looking for this.  I love you Brian!" Justin argued.  "No, no you don't.
Don't build me up with shit.  You could've looked the other way.  You hurt
me and you hurt Angel.  Shit, Justin, did our son even cross your mind?"
Brian disagreed firmly.  Justin sighed arrogantly, throwing his hands into
the air.  He felt tears stinging his indigo eyes.  He couldn't look at
Angel.  He had truly betrayed his son.  "He crossed my mind a hundred times.
  I love him... and I love you too." Justin replied softly, trailing his
eyes over the room to view anything but Brian and Angel.
		Justin jumped again when he heard the thumping noise of Brian slamming his
fist into the wall.  "Justin, it's not fair.  It's not fair that you would
do this to Angel.  He's going to have to suffer now because his fathers
won't be together.  He'll have to see what you saw with your parents." Brian
grumbled, shaking his hand to rid himself of the throbbing sensation running
through it.  He used his other hand to pull his hair back as the redness in
his face heated him.  He glanced down at the dresser.  His eyes caught a
glimpse of the tennis braclet he had bought for Justin, a symbol of
affection in Brian's eyes.  It just laid on the dresser, now lifeless.
		Justin took in the information and tried to swallow a realization.  He
didn't like the taste of it.  "Don't bring my parents into this shit,
Brian." Justin demanded.  "I'm sorry if you're the one who's going to make
us a repeat performance of their lives." Brian responded bitterly.  "So
you're saying it's over?  You're saying that our marriage is over and I
didn't even fuck J.C.?" Justin felt his anger falre again as he spoke.
Brian griamced at the sound of it, but then, he nodded.  He cursed under his
breath, turning his back to Justin.  "That's a real asshole thing to say
Brian.  After all, you almost fucked Nick several times.  You chose him over
me so many times and I let you come back to many so many times.  We were
married and you were still going to let Nick fuck you, but I didn't say it
was over.  So what the fuck?" Justin snarled, advancing toward his husband
with animosity leading him.  Brian spuin on his heels to face Justin again,
his cheeks tight.  "Oh no, don't go there again.  Do you remember why I
offered myself to Nick?  I think it's because of the same fuck that's
standing in the hallway right now trying to tell me he wasn't going to fuck
my husband.  Nick never meant shit to me." Brian argued loudly, restraining
himself from disrespecting his marriage in any form.  "He had to have meant
something." Justin disagreed mildly, backing away from Brian again.
		Brian kicked the dresser, stepping aside.  He leaned down and lifted
J.C.'s shirt from the floor.  There was scattered clothing across the room
belonging to Justin and J.C.  It was obvious what actions were taken for the
clothing to be spread around the room as it was.  "I told you the next
morning when I offered to have sex with Nick.  I had to catch you in the act
for you to tell me what was going on here.  I had to find J.C. leaving your
room, smelling like you, wearing your shirt for you to come out and say you
were about to fuck this man.  Hell, you couldn't tell me in Louisiana and
you couldn't tell me on the phone?  What was it going to take?" Brian
presented a good argument.  He gripped J.C.'s shirt in his hands, pulling at
the fabric.  He heard Justin sniffle.  He shook his head, sighing heavily.
"I didn't mean for this to happen.  I didn't expect this at all, but if you
can do what you did with Nick, then I can do this and you should be able to
forgive me." Justin declared in a shaky voice.  Brian again shook his head,
this time, with a little more anger.  "This isn't an eye for an eye thing,
Justin.  This is a marriage.  This is something sacred.  All the stupid shit
I did with Nick happened before our marriage.  You've truly ruined things."
Brian snapped.  "But I've dealt with a lot of shit from you.  I stuck by you
in our hardest times.  Don't make me out to be the bad guy in our
relationship because I'm far from it." Justin disputed.  As the words clear
his lips, Justin regretted each of them.  He didn't want to be wrong, when
he knew he was.  Now, he was speaking things that even he did not feel were
true.
		Brian, without thinking, threw the article of clothing across the room.
It slammed against the bathroom door and slid down it briskly.  "Maybe we
weren't meant to be then Justin?  Maybe we've been living a fucking lie for
the past two years now?  I guess I should go to court tomorrow, get a
divorce, get full custody of Timber, and let you and J.C. fuck madly all you
want.  And incidentally, the man that you fucking want so bad is outside
trying to convince Nick he was wrong about you and him.  Yeah, Nick, the one
you think I want so damn badly." Brian shouted at Justin.  Justin curled his
upper lip and then turned away from Brian, mimicking his husband's previous
actions.
		The sounds of Angel crying ended the argument.  Both Brian and Justin's
eyes fell on their child as he laid on the bed, crying profusely while
looking at his fathers.  Justin glanced at Brian and then his son.  There
was one factor they continually forgot to add into their equation.  They
neglected their son and his feelings.  They were both aware that Angel hated
to see his parents argue.  It wasn't a pleasent feeling for Angel.  Now,
Justin could see what Brian meant by his words.  Angel would be another him.
  He would have to watch his parents argue and soon enough, he would witness
his parents divorce.
		Brian quickly walked over to the bed and lifted his son.  He cradled him
tightly, hugging him and kissing his forehead.  Justin observed them,
watching small, clear drops of water hit Angel's forehead.  They were tears.
  He heard Brian sniffle lightly.  Brian was crying and Justin felt the
tension was too gerat for him to approach Brian.  "And incidentally Justin,
I love you more than anything and I regret what happened in the past," Brian
whispered through his tears.  He kissed the top of Angel's head again,
hushing him.  "And I regret losing you like this." he added, speaking over
sobs that were trying to take control of his speaking.  He did not allow
Justin another chance to respond.  He strolled toward the door and yanked it
open.  He stepped outside, holding Angel tightly, and left the door wide
open for the others to glance inside.
		Eyes widened as Brian made his appearance in the hallway.  It seemed as if
all the friends of the couple had escaped their rooms to listen on an the
argument that closed the door on many issues.  Brian glanced around the
hall, tears still trickling from his eyes.  He sniffled lightly, clearing
his throat.  He had no words for the spectators.  He couldn't give them the
attention that was expected.  His heart was bleeding and his mind was
walking a tight-wire.  "Nick, I'm leaving... are you coming?" Brian
stammered out, glancing at his friend through tear-soaked eyes.  He sniffled
again, holding his shivering son closely.
		Nick glanced down to J.C.  He proceeded to hold J.C. close to his chest
and ponder his situation and his options.  The choices were not grand and
neither could lead him to a stable life, immediately.  He brushed his
fingers through J.C.'s hair, endeavoring to hold all words for him.  "Go
ahead Brian.  I have some, uhm, unfinished business at the minute," Nick
responded, looking up at his friend.  He could see that Brian did not trust
him.  It was written into Brian's eyes.  He watched Brian leave in a
lingering silence, no one daring to stand up and question Brian concerning
the argument and his future plans.  Everyone was still in their own state of
astonishment, excluding Nikki.  She stayed huddled in a corner, only
observing, never speaking.
		J.C. lifted himself from Nick's embrace when seeing that Brian had left.
He turned so that he could face Nick, his eyes only watching his lover's.
Tears were still seeping through, but they were only guilty tears, not
mournful ones.  He felt Nick brush a hand over his cheek in an affectionate
way.  "Looks like the tables have turned, lover." Nick whispered, staring
into J.C.'s blurry eyes.  J.C. sniffled and nodded, admitting to his crimes.
  "I don't know why it happened, but it did and I'm sorry.  Nickie, I'm
really sorry.  I shouldn't have... I knew not to... but I..." J.C. was lost
in his own words and where he wanted them to go.  He knew, if anything, he
had to plead.  He could feel Nick studying him, watching for the least bit
of truth.  "I'm truly sorry baby." J.C. added with a minute sob.  He rubbed
his scarlet-red nose and sighed.  More tears flicked from his eyelids.
		Nick was left to debate.  He had to come to a decision, a conclusion.  And
he had to do it with the eyes of many of his friends looking on, still in an
utter silence.  No approval or disapproval was going to be made during the
debate.  It would be left for the aftermath.  Nick was aware of it.  He did
not fear it.  Matter of factly, he only hoped it would win approval for him
in some of his friends' eyes.
		"I've been in your shoes Josh.  God, I've been there more times than I've
wanted to be.  I know what's racing through your mind right now and I know
what you'll probably do and think later on.  But I have to let you know, I'm
not Brian.  I'm not Justin.  But..." Nick let all of his words digest in the
air.  He sighed meaningfully.  He swallowed hard and ignored what his mind
was trying to tell him.  "But I'm still your fiancé." Nick whispered,
leaning forward to place a small kiss on J.C.'s forehead.  An exhale of
relief crossed J.C.'s lips when hearing the revalation and he reached out
and grabbed hold of Nick.  He hugged him with satisfaction, a satisfaction
that was not felt by Nikki as she looked on.  She turned her head and felt
her heart slipping again.  'You did it again,' she thought, hugging herself.
		"Wait, can we get something clear here?  Justin was having an affair with
J.C.?  All of this time?" Chris questioned a thought that had crossed
several minds.  The words caused Nick and J.C. to break apart.  J.C. shook
his head automatically.  "No, no, no.  It wasn't an affair.  We didn't sleep
together.  It's only been a few weeks where we were there for each other in
a way.  We experimented with feelings." J.C. explained the situation in
brief words.  Lynn Harliss stood at the end of the wall with her arms
crossed, doubtful of the whole dilemma.  She had her own thoughts on where
it stemmed from, but she did not voice them to the entire hall.  She was
saving them for her opportunity to speak.  "Okay, but you were
'experimenting' with a married man.  A father, Josh.  You've jeopardized a
lifetime commitment between two very loving and honest people." Danay
pointed out with her own convictions for the two.  J.C. sulked against a
wall and sighed heavily.  He was being placed under the spotlight and he did
not enjoy it.  "Justin jeopardized his marriage.  I merely expressed my
feelings for him as more than a friend and needed to know what that meant to
me and, I guess, to him too." J.C. argued mildly.  It wasn't a strong
statement and it was one that Nick began to question.
		Another question was not able to spill from anyone else's mouth.  All eyes
seem to flock to the sight before them as J.C. was snatched backward and
away from Nick's grasp again.  His body was flung into the opposite wall,
near Mandy's body.  Mandy jumped with surprise, scrambling to get away from
J.C.'s stumbling body.  She shrieked out with surprise while the others
quietly watched Lance grab a hold of the collar of the shirt J.C. wore,
yanking him up from the wall.  Nick's eyes widened with shock.  Seeing Lance
slam J.C. into the wall and then yank him forward was an unexpected sight.
"You bastard!  What the hell is wrong with you?  You went too fucking far
this time." Lance declared, holding J.C. tightly, almost lifting him from
his feet.  J.C. stared at him with utter fear running through his eyes.  He
had never witness such anger flowing through Lance, except for one
undeniable incident in his life.  "Jesus, Lance." Nikki gasped, moving
closer toward them.  "I didn't do anything." J.C. declared, struggling to
break free of Lance's tight grip.  Lance shook his head, anger being exposed
through his light green eyes.  "This is a marriage you asshole.  This isn't
me, you, and Nick you're fucking with.  Justin's married!" Lance barked,
never backing away from J.C.  J.C. shook with terror.
		As J.C. again tried to argue his side, Lance's fist smashed against his
lip, causing his footing to slip and his body to slam into the ground.  "Oh
shit!" Chris exclaimed, making his footwork swift.  He leaped between Lance
and J.C., hoping to prevent Lance from landing another punch into J.C.
Chris' movement was not needed.  Nick clenched his fingers into Lance's
shirt and hurled him backward.  Lance tripped several feet back, landing on
the ground on his side.  His head bounced against the floor.  Chris' mouth
fell open.  The incidents breaking lose were abrupt.  Only eyes observed,
but no one stopped anything.
		Nikki slowly knelt down next to the curled body of J.C.  He whimpered
lightly, grasping his face to hide his shame from everyone.  Nikki glanced
around before taking J.C.'s head in her lap.  She pet his tear-soaked face
and tried to hush him.  She felt a warm substance cross her fingers and she
glanced downward.  Her fingers were covered with a mixture of tears and
blood.  She sighed lightly and continued to comfort her friend.
		Mandy assisted Lance in standing, fearful of what other actions might
occur in the hallway.  "Come on, James, come on." she said, struggling to
keep her friend from reacting to Nick's actions.  Joey grasped one of
Lance's arms, dragging him away from the scene.  "It's okay." Mandy
whispered, petting Lance's blonde hair.  "Just get me the fuck away from
that bastard." Lance spoke harshly, beginning to cooperate with both Joey
and Mandy.  Mandy sighed lightly.  She was not adjusted to hearing Lance's
tongue laced with profanity and hatred.  She was unaware that Lance hated
himself at the moment.  He knew he should have seen the signs in the last
fight he and J.C. shared.  He regretted not watching J.C.'s every move and
questioning why Justin seemed to be the only one comforting J.C.  He was
just as blind as the others, but in a more sullen fashion.
		"I can't believe you're blaming Josh for this!  I can't believe you act as
if he's guilty here.  You know Justin probably seduced him.  You know that
he was probably just looking to get back at Brian for the times he was with
me.  That's all.  He just wants to hurt me." Nick barked in Lance's
direction as he walked away with Mandy and Joey.  He couldn't figure out why
he said the words.  They were so selfish, so unlike his emotions.  He
listened as a loud sigh shook in the hall.  He glanced in Veronica's
direction, watching her lean against the wall with an exasperated touch on
her lips.  She shook her head at him, leaning off of the wall as the others
began to move around.  "Blind as the three little mice.  It's a shame Nick,
you should really think about what you're getting yourself into." Veronica
remarked, moving in the direction of her own room.  Nick arched his eyebrow,
confused and angered.  He did not like riddles and Veronica always offered
them.  "And you mean what?" Nick asked arrogantly, pressed his lips
together.  "Look before you leap.  Oh yeah, don't ever say that Justin
seduced anyone again.  He's as innocent as they come in that department,
buddy." Veronica assured Nick, entering her room and shutting the door.  She
left Nick speechless and, again, he was the vulnerable one.
		The early evening began to wrap its strong arms around the city of
Orlando, holding it tightly as life began to spring around the city.  J.C.
Chasez crept inside of a dance studio at the Trans Continental metropolis.
It had been over a year since he had dared to walk into the studio, citing
*NSYNC's differences with Lou Pearlman and his company as his reason for
abandoning all life at Trans Continental.   During this dawning hour he was
in search of a friend.  He could not return to his apartment in Orlando for
fear of having to speak with anyone who witnessed the incident in the
hallway.  He thought to find refuge at Justin's home, but he knew that was a
war field that his feet could not walk through.  His options were slim and
virtually nonexistent.
		J.C. glanced around the dance studio.  It was filled with music and
singing, a lively atmosphere.  In the middle of the dance floor were five
souls, the girls known as Innosense.  To the side sat some of their label
reps and P.R.'s.  Standing behind the girls of Innosense was Robert Jacquez,
their choreographer.  One other person sat in the room, her red hair pulled
up into a loose ponytail and her aspiring blue eyes watching the girls dance
heavily.  'Where's Lynn?' J.C. thought as he approached the lone girl who
watched Innosense dance heavily.  He was puzzled by her disappearance during
one of Innosense's rigorous rehearsals.

	I always felt kinda special around you babe
	Ho, oh yeah
	And now I know the reason I've been feeling this way, oh
	(Cause only you) Light my fire
	(And only you) Can do me right

	This is it
	I think I'm losing my sense
	And I can't get a grip
	My heart is beating and I'm feeling alive
	Cause when I look into your eyes
	I realize
	It's all about you and I

		"Wait!  Wait!" Robert called out, causing the production to slowly come to
a halt.  Nikki lowered her microphone with a small scowl on her face.  She
crossed her arms and glared at Robert as the others slowly began to huddle
around her.  "What's up?  I thought we were on point." Danay panted out,
searching the room for a towel.  Veronica automatically found a seat on the
floor to relax her muscles and await disapproving words from Robert.
"Ladies, I know you're working hard to make sure this concert is your best
one yet, but don't let foolish mistakes hold you back.  Jenny, you were too
far off to the right halfway through Nikki's verse.  Veronica and Danay, you
were holding your mic too far away from your face.  Nikki, you put too much
concentration on your vocals and not enough on your steps.  You were
lacking.  Mandy, slow down a bit when you hit that first bridge.  You went a
little too fast and had to catch yourself." Robert listed off all of the
mistakes with no break.  He glanced around to see if anyone dared to
disagree with him.  All was silent.  "Don't get sloppy on me ladies, you're
better than this." Robert clapped his hands while trying to offer up some
encouragement.
		Nikki lowered her head and cursed under her breath.  She didn't bother to
glance around the room, therefore, she did not notice J.C.  Her mind was
strictly on the rehearsals.  She needed to know that Innosense would be in
their greatest form to win over the Orlando audience they had performed for
many times before.  "Well, let's try it again." Danay sighed as she pranced
past Nikki.  She toweled off her face as she past her friend, never
considering Nikki's silence as a factor.  "Maybe we shouldn't do 'This Is
It.'  I think we should stick to just doing 'www.fan-ta-see', 'So Together',
'Ride', 'Rain Rain' and 'Say No More." Nikki advised, lifting her head to
glance around at her comrades.  Her eyes caught a glimmer of J.C. sitting
closely with Amanda, watching her every move like an eagle.  She ran her
hand over her baby blue bandanna and blushed lightly.
		"I think she's right.  Getting this choreography down for 'This Is It' so
soon may really mess up how we planned to do the show." Mandy agreed
lightly, adjusting her ponytail of blonde-red hair.  Veronica shrugged,
refusing to voice any opinion.  She only wished to return to her apartment
and relax for the rest of the coming night.  "But we should try and change
it up a bit.  The audience needs something different for the last show.
This is what counts." Jenny disagreed firmly.  She controlled her pants as
she still tried to catch her breath from the heated performances.  "I think
we've changed it quite nicely with adding 'Ride' and what not.  Let's just
nix 'This Is It' for now and concentrate on the other songs we have on the
set list." Veronica finally suggested.  Her words were enough to end the
debate, but not without Jenny moving away with a scowl and bitter feelings
toward the decision.  "Okay, let's get back to work ladies, come on." Robert
suggested, clapping his hands and signalling for the background music to
return to the rehearsal hall.
		J.C. sat back into his chair, still endeavoring to be unnoticed.  He
glanced to his right and watched Amanda.  She eyed the group, observing
every step they took and every move their body make.  The flicker of regret
often rolled through Amanda's azure eyes.  She was reminiscing on her days
with Innosense by watching them and J.C. knew it.  It was too obvious to
him, the way Amanda began to mimic the steps her friends made and the way
she mouthed the words that Jenny sung, knowing the verses were meant for
Amanda.
		J.C. raised his hand and rested it on Amanda's left shoulder, stirring her
from her stiff concentration.  Amanda jumped a little, smiling smally when
seeing J.C. sitting next to her.  Amanda brushed her red hair back and
chewed on her glossy lower lip.  "Hey baby." Amanda greeted J.C.  She stayed
simple in her words, well aware of the events that occured earlier in the
day.  J.C. offered a grin as a greeting.  "What are you doing here Amanda?
Shouldn't you be at home with Amaiya and A.J.?" J.C. wondered.  Amanda
peered at J.C. with curiosity.  The same question ran through her head at
that moment.  She shrugged and turned her attention back to Innosense as
they rehearsed 'Ride.'  "A.J. and Amaiya are visiting at his mom's house.
Nikki and Veronica asked me to come to the rehearsal so that we could go out
afterwards, you know, hang out and do girl things." Amanda responded with a
reasonable answer.  J.C. affronted a joyful smile, but deeply, he was
looking to spend time with Nikki following the practice.
		Amanda cleared her throat softly, moving her shoulders to the next
eight-steps that the girls practiced.  "Do you miss it?" J.C. asked, leaning
closer to Amanda to speak with her.  Amanda puckered her lips.  She grinned
innocently.  "Sometimes, yeah, I miss it." Amanda answered him flatly.  Her
charm had faded for a second.  She never admitted to anyone that she missed
the times she spent with Veronica and Nikki, the days she chatted with
Danay, and the nights she and Mandy laughed over the silliest things.  It
was a shame that kept her pride alive and prevented her from talking about
returning to Innosense.  She just allowed Innosense's crew to move as it
did, without her, with Jenny replacing her.  Yet, motherhood satisfied her
to a new degree.
		"Okay, that one was good!  Take a ten minute break and then ya'll can warm
up on your vocals and then you all can go home." Robert called out.  An
immediate sigh of relief crossed many lips after Robert spoke.  The
instrumental to 'Ride' faded from the speakers and all of the girls ceased
dancing.  "Finally." Veronica breathed out, searching for a bottled water in
the midst of workout bags, towels, and sweaty garments.  "Man, this is a
workout for you." Jenny pressed out, taking a quick seat on the floor of the
studio.  She brushed her hair back and took a swift glance over to where
Amanda and J.C. sat.  She arched her eyebrow with suspicion while watching
the two share a small conversation.  Her blue eyes circled with disapproval.
		"Do you wanna ride?!" Mandy chanted as she ran over to where J.C. and
Amanda sat.  Mandy took the available seat next to Amanda, ignoring J.C.'s
full presence.  Without a thought, she left the sweat perspiring from her
brow as she tightened her ponytail again.  "I know you wanna ride, 'Manda,
come on." Mandy giggled, attempting to repeat the dance routine while
seated.  Amanda shot her head at Mandy with wild laughter in her eyes.  She
laughed lowly at Mandy, her smile releasing contagious vibes.  "Where to
Blondie?" Amanda asked softly, observing the others as they moved around.
"Vegas!" Mandy jested, leaping from her seat to begin a more energetic
rendition of a salsa dance.  Amanda felt her laughter burst from her stomach
and leap into the air as she peered at Mandy.
		Nikki slinked herself over to the area, finding a seat next to J.C.  She
took a small sip of her water, eyeing J.C. with wonder.  He kept his eyes
low, glancing down at the floor as no one acknowledge his presence in the
room.  She permitted one of her hands to drop to his thigh, squeezing it
lightly to draw his attention as she lowered her water bottle.  She flicked
a smile in his direction, anticipating a smile to leave J.C.'s thick lips.
"Why aren't you at home?" Nikki inquired softly, leaning her body close to
her ex-boyfriend's.  J.C. slithered one of his armsa round Nikki's small
frame, tugging her closer.  He sighed endlessly, still glancing at the
floor.  "Because Nick'll be there or he'll be calling there, or Chris'll be
waiting for me there, or Joey will be stopping by with Britney to chastise
me, or I'll be hearing from someone that I don't feel like arguing with
right now." J.C. babbled.  He was stressed and it showed in his facial
expressions.  His jaw flexed with a strong disposition.
		Nikki leaned her head onto J.C.'s shoulder, sighing lowly.  She ran her
hand over the seam of his jeans, contemplating the entire situation.  Her
fingers traced further to the right until they could touch J.C.'s hand.  She
took it into her's, holding his hand tightly.  Soon, J.C.'s hand returned
the gesture, interlocking their fingers as they basked in the joys of being
close.  The silence between them was softening.  It allowed both J.C. and
Nikki to truly think over where they wanted to go with what they had.
		"You don't think Justin would be waiting for you at your apartment?" Nikki
dared to ask a question that was lingering over her heart.  She felt J.C.'s
fingers petting her knuckles, pleading to hug her.  "In a way, I wish he was
so I could talk to him and find out what's going to happen next.  But, I
know, it'd just be more drama for the both of us if we talked right now."
J.C. replied with a sullen voice.  He cleared his throat, struggling to keep
a strong, optimistic view of the predicament.  Nikki lowered her eyes,
watching J.C.'s fingers.  "But honestly, I don't want that right now.  I
don't want to be with any of them right now." J.C. admitted in a soft voice,
brushing his cheek over Nikki's head.  Nikki sighed again.  She could feel
J.C. growing closer to her, closer than he should be.
		"Okay ya'll, come on, we need to get back to rehearsal.  Let's start with
'Say No More' and work our way backwards." Danay declared in a loud voice,
striving to pull her band mates back to the dance floor.  "Okie dokie.  As
long as all we have to do is sing and no dancing, I'm good to go." Veronica
snickered, pulling herself from the floor next to Jenny and standing up.
Jenny sighed and rolled to her side so that she could stand.  "No fancy
things girls, I'm tired." Jenny complained.  Mandy rolled her eyes with a
smile.  "Jenny's always tired." Mandy bellowed, rising from her position
next to Amanda.  She patted Amanda's shoulder while picking up her
microphone.  "Oh Nickums, darlin', let's go." Danay called out to her
friend, breaking Nikki's concentration from J.C.  Amanda turned her head in
J.C. and Nikki's vacinity, frowning a little when seeing Nikki and J.C. so
close.  It wasn't a good sign to her.
		Nikki lifted her head with a ghostly appearance.  She could feel the eyes
of each meber of Innosense frowning on her.  She licked her lips slowly.
"Okay, I'm coming." Nikki agreed, nodding before standing.  J.C. did not
release her hand as she stood.  "Are we still going to dinner after this?"
Jenny asked, adjusting her sport's top.  Veronica wrinkled her brow a
little, giving more attention to J.C. and Nikki than to Jenny.  "Oh yeah,
'Manda, you have to join us." Mandy insisted, twirling a finger through her
hair.  Amanda scraped her eyes away from J.C. and Nikki.  She puckered her
lips, giving Jenny a small stare.  She wondered if she would disapprove.
"Sure." Amanda replied.
		Nikki had forgotten the plan to join her friends for a late dinner
following the rehearsal.  She glanced down to J.C., reading his lonely
expression.  He still had a grip on her hand.  "Let me stay with you
tonight." J.C. whispered his plea.  Nikki glanced around to her friends as
they all prepared for their acapella routine.  "Nikki, come on." Mandy
pleaded.  "Please." J.C. beckoned of his ex-girlfriend.  Nikki sucked in her
lower lip as the eyes of the room began to flock to her.  "Nik', go
ahead..." Amanda signalled.  "Peaches, please..." J.C.'s voice continued to
plague Nikki.  "Nikki!" Jenny barked out, frustrated with her friend.  "All
right!" Nikki shouted out, surprising everyone except Amanda.  She knew it
would come.  Danay crossed her arms with disapproval.  She watched Nikki
move slowly.  "All right..." Nikki whispered.  Nikki turned her eyes back to
J.C. as she spoke, agreeing to his request.
		Clothing was scattered across the living room, laying on all ends of the
area.  The room was quiet, only occupied by one soul.  The sounds of that
person steadily sleeping was tantalizing to the room, everything staying in
a state of peacefullness.  The morning was breaking, lgith streaming in
through the window and touching the face of the sleeping patron.
		Nikki DeLoach pushed her fingers through her hair as she stepped quietly
into the room.  She held her robe closed, covering the baggy halter top and
boxers she wore.  She peered around her apartment, fearful that anyone would
visit her that morning.  Rehearsals began in two hours and the van would be
pulling up to her apartment in almost an hour's time.  She kept her eyes
peering as her cat crossed her path, purring amicably at her master.  Nikki
sighed softly, allowing the cat to rub closely against her ankle.  "Hey
baby." Nikki whispered to her kitten, bending downward to fondle the cat.
The purrs she received brought a bright smile to her face.
		The sound of something else pulled Nikki's attention away from her cat.
Her phone blazed loudly in the room, surprising her and startling her.  She
stood up briskly, glancing around the room to see if her sleeping friend was
awoken.  Her lips pressed out a smile when seeing that no movement occured.
She took quick, but quiet, steps to the phone, pulling it up before it
released a third ring.  "Hello?" Nikki panted out, searching for the
identity of her early morning caller.  She took a seat on the arm of the
couch where her friend slept.  "Nik'?  You okay girl?" Mandy's voice
questioned Nikki.  Nikki exhaled deeply, striving to relax herself in the
room.  She brushed her bangs back  "No, no, I'm okay Mandy.  What's going
on?" Nikki whispered back to her friend.  "We're going to be running a
little late today.  Jenny's got a bit of a headache and she says her body's
drained.  Plus Veronica is going crazy because she can't talk to Justin and
Ms. Lynn is, well, uhm, 'talking' with Justin and I don't think it's going
well." Mandy explained the situations that were hampering her and her
friends to arrive at Nikki's apartment promptly.
		Nikki glanced around the room, viewing pieces of her clothing strewn
across the floor and furniture.  She allowed her robe to slip off of her
shoulders.  She lowered her head in personal shame.  She glanced down to the
figure laying behind her.  It was J.C.  Nikki couldn't believe he was laying
on the couch in her apartment, sleeping soundly.  He was only clad in a
comforter, his clothes mixed with her's across the room.  "Nikki, are you
okay?  When you didn't come to dinner with us last night, me and Amanda
started to worry about you.  Did you leave with J.C.?  What's up girl?  You
know you can talk to sweet old Mandy." Mandy inquired, encouraging her
friend to release her thoughts.  Nikki puckered her lips, her eyes tracing
over J.C.'s form.  She did not like the results of the prior night.  She did
not enjoy being weak and she did not luxuriate in her vulnerability.  "Yeah,
I left with Josh last night, but let's just leave it at that.  I'm okay,
don't worry.  I'm a grown girl, Mandy." Nikki assured her friend in a softer
voice.  She nibbled delicately on her lower lip.  "All right, Nikki, I know
you know what you're doing." Mandy agreed stubbornly.
		Nikki swallowed and closed her lively green eyes.  She was thankful.
"We'll probably be at your place in two hours, Nik', so be ready." Mandy
admonished.  Nikki nodded, keeping her eyes closed.  "I'll be ready Mandy,
don't worry." Nikki assured her, concluding their conversation over the
phone.
		Nikki lowered the phone from her ear, sighing cautiously.  A hand ran over
the small of her back, causing Nikki to shiver.  She swallowed and then
exhaled loudly.  Soon lips pressed against her bare shoulder, touching her
in a delicate way.  "We have to talk." Nikki sighed out as the hand drew up
from her back and began to lace through her brown hair.  "I know Peaches, I
know." J.C. whispered, cuddling close to his ex-girlfriend.
		J.C.'s arms wrapped around Nikki's waist, hugging her.  He pulled her
backward and into his lap.  Nikki slipped into J.C.'s lap, her body being
covered by the heat of J.C.'s nude body.  She pushed a section of her hair
behind her ear.  She didn't know if she should pull away or move closer to
her former lover.  "Josh, we almost had sex last night.  You're about to
marry Nick in a few months, caught up in this dramatic affair with Justin,
and now... now you're here holding me and I don't know where you're headed."
Nikki gushed with a heavy depression.  She closed her eyes, feeling the
stubble of J.C.'s face brush against her cheek.  She could melt in his arms,
but she refrained.  "To tell you the truth, I don't know either Peaches, but
I'm glad you stopped me last night." J.C. whispered into Nikki's ear.  His
lips pressed against her cheek, showing her more affection than she needed.
"Why?" she questioned his words, brushing her fingers over his soft hair.
J.C. took in a shallow breath of Nikki's scent, missing it.  He gave her
another small kiss on the shoulder.  "I don't want you caught up in this
depression with me, Peaches.  It seems everyone I have sex with gets hurt
and their lives are never the same.  I don't want you to hate me a few
months from now." J.C. responded as his fingers pet Nikki's cool skin.
Nikki shuddered again, closer her eyes tighter.  She twitched her nose.
"Josh, you're too late, I'm already caught up in this, but don't hurt me,
please." Nikki whispered, her body naturally molding into J.C.'s.
		J.C. brushed his cheek on Nikki's shoulder, resting his head on it.  He
ran his hands over Nikki's sides, contemplating his choices.  When Nikki's
hands came to rest on his, he was scared.  He feared returning to the life
he had with her because it was too perfect and ended too tragically.  Both
he and Nikki walked away from the relationship with broken hearts and tears
in their eyes.  He could remember it taking almost a year before they could
speak casually again, just as friends.  As she watched him move from a
short-term relationships with Bobbie Thomas and Stacy Fergusson, to a sexual
relationship with Lance, and then becoming Lance's boyfriend, followed by
Nick's boyfriend.  J.C. observed Nikki float through a small relationship
with Ryan of Take 5 and then, ultimately, settling herself with Kevin.
Never did the other approve of the relationships, but only allowed them to
continue for their own heart's sake.  Now it was hard for both J.C. and
Nikki to deny that their love as teenagers still kindled in their adult
lives.
		"If... if I married Nick, would you be able to move on?" J.C. asked an
important question.  Nikki turned her body a little, taking a moment to
stare into J.C.'s light blue eyes.  She caressed his chin with her finger,
only looking into his eyes.  She read what he wanted from her and she
studied his reaction to her touch.  "If you married Nick, would you be able
to move on?" Nikki whispered back, leaning downward.  Her lips ran over his
in a gentle motion, striving to see if the feelings were inside of both of
them.  His lips gradually began to return the smooth kiss, leaning her back
into the couch as he took the more aggressive position.  Nikki permitted
J.C. to squeeze and caress her as they kissed, searching to find her final
answers.
		The afternoon struck a more sour note in the Littrell house.  Brian walked
with long strides, carrying his lap top under one arm and another bag in his
other hand.  He did not look back, he did not want to.  Returning to his
house was something he did not want to do, but he had no choice.  He chose
not to sleep in his own house the day previous, opting to sleep at A.J.'s
home.  Brian only spoke with Justin to inform him that their son could stay
with Justin.  Leaving his son was the last thing Brian wanted to do, but
again, he was given no choice.  He could not snatch Angel up from his home
and expect him to understand what was occuring between his fathers.  He had
to allow Justin to have custody for that moment until Brian could truly
gather himself and decide where his life was headed next.  He was aware that
his marriage was close to finished.
		Justin was unable to speak with Brian.  He had shared a small argument
with Brian upon his arrival that day, another pain in his heart, and now
Justin was caught up in a fierce argument with his mother, again.  His eyes
stared at Brian as he took a glancve back over his shoulder, looking into
the house that once held so much love.  He could feel Brian's eyes searching
for him, but Justin hid under the shade of the shadowy kitchen.  Justin
could not decide if it was best for Brian to leave or if he wanted to plead
with Brian to stay, to hold him, and to discuss what their marriage meant to
both of them.
		"Justin Randall Littrell, do you hear me?" Lynn hollered into the phone,
tugging Justin's dark blue eyes away from Brian.  Justin grimaced, his brow
wrinkling.  "Yes, damn it, I hear you." Justin barked back, turning his head
so that he did not look at Brian.  "Justin, don't you dare take that tone
with me, do you hear me?  I'm not Brian, I'm your mother.  Your marriage is
just about over and I'm going to be the only one you have left after this."
Lynn scolded her son.  Justin sighed loudly, stepping further into the
kitchen.  "My marriage is not over." Justin growled.  Before he realized it,
he had said the words aloud.  He had released an inner thought of his.  He
did not want his marriage to end because Brian made his life complete.
		Justin turned on his heels, beginning to exit the kitchen.  Before he
could clear the doorway, Brian stood before him with a straight face, no
emotion exposed.  Justin caught himself.  Brian's stare wasn't friendly, but
it was neither hateful.  "I'll be at the house in Miami if Angel needs me.
Don't call unless it concerns Angel, Justin.  Don't tell anyoen else to call
either." Brian spoke dully, his lips barely parting as he spoke.  Justin
licked his lips, splitting his attention between his barking mother and his
lifeless husband.  Neither was a support for Justin at the moment.  He was
going to have to suffer through his guilt and his pain without a shoulder to
lean on.  It was more than evident to Justin and it left him speechless.
		Brian did not permit Justin to speak again, he turned towards the door and
began his exit from the house.  "When can we talk?" Justin called out to
Brian, hoping Brian would also want to save their marriage.  Brian continued
to walk, ignoring Justin's words.  Justin felt his heart being swallowed by
the guilt as Brian's steps stayed steady.  "When I'm good and ready to."
Brian replied bleekly, stepping outside of the house and leaving the door
ajar.
		Justin slammed his foot into the doorway of the kitchen, his anger
flaring.  He was losing Brian, without a doubt.  He could not stop it and he
knew it was his fault for never fessing up to his wrongs.  His mother's
voice began to blare into his phone again, only caressing his anger to a new
height.  "God, what do you want of me Mom?  I'm tired of going through this
all day long." Justin grumbled, reentering the kitchen with a scowl.  "I
want you to figure out what the hell you want.  God, Justin, this is so
stupid.  Why would you want to cheat on Brian?  Do you want to be like me
and your father?  Do you want to have a divorce and have Angel split between
the two of you?" Lynn stressed, chastising her son for his ignorant actions.
  Justin raked his fingers through his hair.  His face was flushed with a
red shade.  There was no escpaing the questioning.  "I don't want any of
that.  I don't want Angel's feelings to be neglected like you and Daddy
neglected mine and that's why I'm trying to talk with Brian.  I'm trying to
make this work for me and Angel, not the rest of ya'll." Justin replied
bitterly.
		Lynn sighed uncontrollably.  She was never satisfied with Justin's
answers, only irritated.  He could never deliver a logic that she could
succumb to.  "Justin, I... I don't know what to say to you.  You've truly
messed up this time.  If you had just avoided this whole Brian thing and
stayed with Britney, things might have been different.  They might have went
better for all of us." Lynn gushed, unaware of the words she spoke.
		Lynn's apology never got a chance to surface when she realized what she
had said.  With a strong, brute force, Justin threw his phone across the
kitchen until it slammed and shattered against the kitchen wall, cascading
the phone into large pieces across the floor.  Justin was not fazed by the
sound of the phone scattering across the floor.  His eyes peered around the
kitchen searching for another object to release his aggression on.  He
couldn't hold in his anger against J.C., his mother, his husband, and
himself anymore.  It had to be liberated.  It was his only way of expressing
himself.
		"Did you have a nice talk with your mother?" Britney's Southern drawl
entered the room unexpectedly.  Justin shuddered when hearing her speak.  He
turned his head a little to see her standing in the doorway, her arms
crossed in anger and her face pale.  He sighed incouragibly.  Life truly
wasn't going his way.  "Why are you here?" he asked through clenched teeth.
He wasn't showing any signs of gratefullness for Britney's appearance.
		Britney puckered her lips.  She leaned off the doorway and struted into
the kitchen, glancing down at the shards of the phone.  She shook her head
with disapproval.  "Your husband might be really hurt right now and he might
also be quite bitter, but he's not heartless.  He asked me and Joey to come
over here and stay a few days with you until you and him had a chance to
talk and figure out how you're going to do Angel's visitation with him and
his mail forwarding and all that other junk." Britney answered him plainly.
Justin brought a hand up to his lips.  He felt them tremble under his
fingertips.  "He still cares." Justin whispered, his words being choked by a
sob.  Britney nodded arrogantly.  She laid one of her hand's on Justin's
shoulder.  She wanted to sigh, but she knew it would be a sign of disgrace
and she was there to comfort Justin.  "Brian might have a big heart, but
Justin, I don't know if it'll save your marriage from the inevitable."
Britney said frankly.  She knew Justin was crumbling, but she did not know
how to save him from a depression he would soon be suffering.  "I can't lose
him." Justin finally sobbed, lowering his head with unescapable
mortification.  He stumbled into Britney's warm arms and cuddled close to
his ex-girlfriend, striving to think of a solution to his ending marriage.
		The evening was treaching on in the city of Miami.  A small surburban
house, set but a few blocks from the beach, was quiet and dim-lit.  Brian
paced around the kitchen, chatting kindly with his mother while unpacking a
few of his groceries.  "Yeah, I know Ma, I don't want Angel to feel it's
different either, but it's going to be obvious when he has to travel some
hours just to see his father now." Brian spoke lowly to his mother while
sliding a jug of milk into the refrigerator.  He flexed his jaw muscles with
disapproval.  "Brian, I know it's going to be hard on all of you.  I still
can't believe Justin would do this.  I mean, despite all of the feelings me
and your father had in the past about you being with a man, Justin just
seemed to fit the profile as someone that could make you happy, man or
woman.  Now to know this... I'm just dumbfounded." Jackie Littrell remarked,
dragging her voice.  Brian felt the same emotion that his mother did.  He
too was speechless on the matter.  "I'm not going to say Justin was right,
but my heart tells me that he wasn't the one who initiated this or wanted to
keep it going.  It's just the fact of the matter that he would do it and not
tell me that makes me want to end it all." Brian commented, leaning up
against the counter in the kitchen.
		Brian's eyes strayed around the room that he barely knew.  It wasn't
really his house without Justin and Angel in it.  It was a wedding present
from Brian's in-laws and he had only visited twice with his husband and son.
  It was too foreign to him, but for now, it was his home.
		"Well, Brian, you know how me and your father feel about divorce.  It is
not something we ever want to see our sons suffer through and it is surely
not the way we raised," Jackie spoke frankly to her son.  She aws aware he
was going to need the words to aid him in his final resolution.  "But,
you're twenty-five, Brian, you're old enough to decide what to do.  So even
though me and your father wouldn't want it, we know how you're feeling right
now.  If divorce is the way for you to escape this, then just make sure that
your son is not the one languishing in the end." Jackie ultimately said,
allowing her son to take her words and consider them.
		Brian scratched the edge of his nose while leaning on the counter.  His
fingertips burned, reminiscing on the many kissing Justin had given him
there.  His cheeks flustered and his head began to droop.  He wasn't happy,
but he had to be.  He had to find a way to make that possible.  He could not
be the one who cried lonely tears because of something that occured between
Justin and J.C.  There were but two ways out and Brian still could not
choose which one would benefit him more.
		"Brian, your brother wants to speak with you... uhm, are you up to it?"
Jackie inquired, searching for her son's best interest.  Brian contemplated
the idea of receiving some 'brotherly advice' from his brother.  He knew his
brother was somewhat of an optomistic, but he was also never afraid of being
blunt and correct when it came to his advice.  Brian was also aware of
Harold's initial thought of Brian dating a guy and eventually marrying
Justin.  Brian felt a bit of distrust in his heart when it came to Harold
and his biased words.  "Sure, put him on the phone Ma." Brian agreed at
last, taking in a deep breath to prepare himself for the conversation he was
about to share with his older brother.
		Brian listened to the sounds of the phone being exchanged and whispered
words, no doubt each word concerning him.  He exhaled lightly as he heard a
man's voice being cleared.  "Hey bro." Brian spoke up before his brother
could.  "Hey Brian, feeling any better?" Harold wondered, already
knowledgeable of the answer.  Brian drooped his head even more.  "Not
really, Harold.  Things haven't changed much between me and him, and well, I
haven't been able to spend any time with my son because of this." Brian
responded meekly.  He could feel his brother's judgment already taking over.
  "Why don't you high tail it back to Orlando and get Lil' Ducky.  You and
him should not have to suffer because of Justin's ignorance." Harold
debated.  Brian shook his head immediately.  He had senseable reasons for
leaving his son back in Orlando.  "No, Harold, Angel needs to stay in
Orlando for now.  Right now, I don't have much for him here and I'm not even
settled here.  I don't want to snatch Timber up from an environment he knows
so well and from people that he feels comfortable with.  I know that
everyone up there will look after Timber and I know Justin won't neglect
him." Brian argued softly, striving not to stir up any aggressive feelings
in his brother.  "Okay, but what about you?  What about the relationship you
and your son have?  Should that be neglected Rok?  Come on now, it's not
fair.  You see Angel on what?  Maybe the weekends?  A couple days out of the
week?  You're not the one who slept with another man." Harold presented a
stronger argument that Brian had difficulty fighting.  It crossed his mind
that he was not the one who ruined the marriage, but he had to also
configure where Angel would survive best.  "Harold, Justin did not sleep
with J.C.  At least, that's what he tells me and I have a strong feeling
he's actually telling the truth.  And this situation with Angel is only for
right now." Brian explained in hopes of winning over his brother.
		Harold sighed heavily into the phone.  Brian could taste the displeasure
in his brother's voice.  "Stop defending him, Brian.  Stop trying to make it
look like Justin is innocent and that ya'll are going to get back together
tomorrow or something.  You need to divorce him and get your son back so
that you can move on and find a life that will spare you this stress."
Harold reproached.  He was not satisfied with what Brian allowed to happen.
It was wrong in his eyes.  "Harold, we're serparated right now, isn't that
good enough for you?  My God, that's about as far as I want to go right
now." Brian became frustrated with his brother's demands.  He wanted to make
his own decision, give his own choices.  He could not deal with his family
offering a negative outcome that Brian wasn't ready to accept.  "We all know
that separated is a nice term for, 'We're about to get divorced, but in two
weeks.'" Harold sarcastically said.  Brian pressed his face into an angered
expression.  "Look, Harold, I'll talk to ya'll later on.  I've got to get a
hold of some management people and let them know that I've made a little
change of address right now." Brian exhaled out.  He could feel the silence
from Harold.  He didn't want to hear Harold apologize or offer kinder words.
  Harold missed that opportunity.  "Tell Ma I'll call her later on tonight."
Brian added before clicking off his phone, refusing to allow his brother to
say goodbye.
		Later it was, eight o'clock giving up its time to nine.  Brian sat in the
office of the Miami home, viewing the lyrics to several of the songs that
were recorded for the Backstreet Boys new album.  He cleared his throat
quietly as the sounds of Open House Party echoed into the room.  "So we have
the members of *NSYNC here with us tonight, well, four of you are here
tonight.  Where's Justin?" the DJ asked, causing Brian's eyes to raise from
the paper and glance at the stereo.  He peered his eyes at it, awaiting a
response from his friends.  "Justin's just a bit under the weather tonight.
He wasn't up to coming down here, so we let him chill at home and rest up
for the concert." Chris replied.  He was lying with good intentions.  Brian
shook his head, turning his eyes back down to the lyrics.
		"So, Justin missed a chance to hang with us in the studio because he was
sick?" the DJ continued to question *NSYNC on the topic.  "Touring can
really wear you out an he's just out of it.  So we didn't pressure him to
come or anything.  He needs his rest for tomorrow's concert." Lance
concurred with decent reasons.  They all had to cover for their friend, well
aware that Justin was torn at this point because his marriage was falling
apart.  "That's understandable.  We wouldn't want Justin to pass out here in
the studio and then the fans stop listening to us thinking we tried to kill
Justin Timberlake.  That would suck." the DJ joked with *NSYNC, drawing out
small chuckles from the four.  "That would suck." J.C. agreed.  His voice
caused Brian to lower his brow, his hate towards him growing.  'Bastard.'
Brian thought while reviewing another set of lyrics.
		"Okay, speaking of Justin, he still isn't getting out of the media when it
comes to his love life.  Does he ever get tired of being asked who he's
dating, Britney or Brian?" the DJ continued the interview with a more
controversial inquiry.  Brian felt unsettled in his seat.  The interview was
striking too many sour notes with him.  "Yes, we all do.  It's a shame that
the media has to know so badly which person we happen to be dating." Lance
replied first.  "For Justin, it gets even worse.  Everyone is so into
whether or not he's really with Britney or with Brian from Backstreet or
whoever.  So he gets put in the tabloids a lot and he hates it.  It's never
easy on his relationship." Chris spoke up in defense of his friend.  "The
fans are wondering if he'll ever come clean with his answers.  Can you guys
at least give us a hint or something?" the DJ pleaded with the group.  Brian
sighed and then looked up again.  He was feeling uneasy about the interview.
  His mind was beginning to convince him that he no longer cared whether or
not the world knew about his marriage to Justin.  With his families' many
requests, Brian figured by the time it hit the world, Brian and Justin would
already be in court handling their divorce.  His heart reminded him of how
many times Justin stood by him and what the revalation would do to Justin's
freedom and how much negative attention would begin to fall on his son,
Angel.  Brian did not want that.
		"Well, I can tell you that he's not seeing Britney.  They are really good
friends and have known each other for years, but Britney and I still have a
relationship going on.  She's just a really good friend of Justin's." Joey
responded to the DJ's question with a cocky attitude.  "And you're not just
a 'cover-up' like the tabloids report?" the DJ shot a direct question to
Joey.  "No!  No, no, no.  That's crazy.  I would not cover anything up for
anybody's relationship.  Britney's been my girlfriend for almost two years
now." Joey retorted with a slightly angered tone.  He was tired of the
question.  "Justin and Britney and I have known each other for so many
years.  She's like a little sister to us.  We've known Nikki from Innosense
a long time, plus Ryan Gossling and a lot of other people from our days on
Mickey Mouse Club." J.C. added in defense of Britney and Joey's
relationship.
		"And Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys?  What's going on there?  I
know that would crush a lot more hearts than the whole Britney and Justin
thing.  Justin, being so young, and dating a man, that would kill!" the DJ
protested, searching for many answers.  Brian twisted his mouth.  The DJ
sickened him.  'What's wrong with Justin being with me?  What's so bad about
that?' Brian questioned, peering at the stereo.  He becamed angered.  "What
would be so wrong about Justin seeing a guy?  I thought that was acceptable
in today's society.  There are plenty of people in the business that date
people of the same sex and people learn to accept it." Chris came in direct
defense of Justin and Brian.  He would hate the light to shine on him
because he was with Meelah and they were an interracial couple.  It wouldn't
make sense to him, just as singling Brian and Justin out just because they
were two males in love.  "That's true and I guess it wouldn't be much of a
problem, but the younger kids aren't as open and they don't really
understand.  Brian and Justin are two popular male celebrities and if they
were gay and together, the world would have to take its time to accept it."
the DJ responded in a more sincere manner.  He still did not win over Brian,
but Brian began to listen contently to the interview to see where it would
go.
		"Justin and Brian are not dating.  They see each other often at different
events and, of course, they are really great friends, but the dating aspect
isn't true." Lance declared truthfully.  He had learn how to twist the truth
into reality.  He could easily say Brian and Justin were not dating because
he knew that, truthfully, the two were married.  He did not add in the fact
that the two might divorce because he did not want to believe it was true.
"We all respect each other's privacy and we all accept whoever any of us
date.  We care for each other like that.  So if Justin and Brian date, we'll
respect that and we wouldn't act any different towards either of them.  We'd
hope our fans would react the same way because we love our fans and respect
them and hope that they will do the same for us." J.C. added to Lance's
previous remark.  "Come on people, Brian's a good friend of ours.  He and
Justin can do what they want and we'll understand.  So don't stress whether
or not Justin and Brian are dating, are boyfriends or are just friends.
Justin will not neglect or forget any of his fans, no matter who he's with."
Chris commanded with an assurance in his voice.  "The same applies to all of
us." Lance agreed, leaving the DJ without a word to say on the subject.
		"Okay, okay, enough of Justin because he's not here to talk for himself
and I think we're all beginning to feel the same way you guys do about his
love life.  Let's get some music going, shall we guys?  How about a little
of the 'Bye Bye Bye Remix' by you guys with the lovely ladies of Innosense?"
the DJ suggested, trying to spark up a little more enthusiasm in the studio.
  "Yeah, put that one on!" Chris chimed in a cheerful way.  The DJ snickered
lightly.  "Okay, here it is, the song that is briskly rising up the charts
and the song that J.C. Chasez of the group remixed.  It is our number one
request here on Open House Party.  It's *NSYNC and Innosense with the remix
to 'Bye Bye Bye' here on Open House Party!" the DJ announced, striking up
the song.  "Go Innosense!" Lance and J.C. screamed into their mics as the
beginning music filled the stereo.
		Later came again for Brian as he sat in the living room of his Miami home.
  He was slouched on the couch, staring at a blank television screen while
casually chatting with his friend Nick Carter over the phone.  "Man, Rok, I
can't believe you didn't listen to the whole interview.  They did a little
portion about us and I think Joey and Lance were trying to down us because
we haven't put out any music in a bit." Nick complained to his friend.
Brian rolled his eyes with a silly grin.  He could not figure out why his
fellow band mates watched for other groups to speak hateful words toward
them.  He had no spite towards anyone in the music industry.  He truly felt
there was room for all.  "Nick, I really didn't care to listen to an
interview with *NSYNC on Open House Party, especially..." Brian stopped
himself.  He did not want to say what his heart was telling him to say.  He
decided to hide it from Nick.  "Especially since Justin wasn't on there
huh?" Nick was good at interpretting Brian's thoughts and words.
		Brian sighed.  He scratched his brow and peered his eyes at the televison.
  "I know how you feel, Brian.  I know I probably wouldn't give the
interview much of my attention if Josh wasn't on there.  But then again,
you're the one who's separated from your husband, so I don't know." Nick
responded in a perplexed way.  Brian raised his brow suspiciously.  "Nick,
I'll never understand why you forgave him so easily." Brian sighed out
without regret.  He had no love left for J.C. and could not understand how
Nick denied the situation so easily.  "Brian, you know how I actually feel
and what I think really occured between the two, so let's not go there
again." Nick stated with a stern undertone.
		Brian chewed his lower lip, aggravated by Nick's attitude.  He refused to
accept his reply, placing all of the guilt on Justin.  "Frack, I think I'm
gonna go to bed now.  I'm feeling pretty tired from everything I did today."
Brian declared in a sheepish voice.  He faked a yawn to make his statement
more believeable.  "Oh, all right Brian.  It is getting kind of late and
all.  Are you going to go to the last show for *NSYNC tomorrow?" Nick
questioned Brian.  Brian did not have to think of his response to the
inquiry.  It was automatic.  "I don't want to see them right now Nick.  I
can't.  Tell Joey, Chris, and Lance that I'll talk to them sometime soon,
but I can't look at your boyfriend and my husband." Brian answered him
justly.  He picked up a disappointing sigh from the other end of the phone.
"Fine." Nick said stubbornly.  He was not satisfied.  "Give my baby a kiss
for me though." Brian added, trying to appease his own heart.  A silence
kept him stranded.  "Okay, Rok, I'll do that.  I'll probably come visit you
in a few days buddy." Nick replied lightly.  Brian grinned.  He looked
forward to spending some quality time with at least one of his friends.
"Okay Nickie, talk to ya later." Brian chimed softly, concluding their
lengthy conversation.
		It was no more than ten minutes before Brian could hear his phone ringing
obnoxiously again.  'Damn it, the only person I want to hear from right now
is my son.' Brian thought as he charged from the kitchen towards the phone
he left waiting in the living room.  He dried his hands with a dishtowel,
planning on rinsing off a few dishes before calling to speak with his son.
'Lord, don't let it be Justin trying to see what my decision is.  I already
told him that right now I just want separation.' Brian grumbled to himself,
stumbling in the vacinity of the phone.  He lowered his head in spite,
peering his eyes around the room as he heard the third ring.  He spotted the
phone still sitting on one cushion of the couch.  His small hands snatched
it up, reading the caller ID carefully.  It read: 'Nick.'  Brian sighed with
hesitation.  "Damn Nick, I said I'd call you back." Brian complained aloud,
clicking on the phone.
		"Yeah, Carter, what's up?" Brian sighed into the phone, awaiting a
sarcastic response from Nick.  "Uhm, I'm not a Carter, well, at least not
yet." J.C.'s voice entered the phone, sending Brian's face into a
ghost-white complexion.  His hand trembled while holding the phone.  He
could not believe it was his husband's secret lover calling him so late in
the evening.  "What are you calling me for?" Brian questioned in a bitter
voice.  His lilting coutry accent had disappeared momentarily to give way to
his anger.  "Well, uh, we need to talk Brian." J.C. replied with a stutter.
Brian pursed his lips.  He did not like J.C.'s response.  "How did you get
my number?" Brian wondered, never acknowledging J.C.  A huff ran over J.C.'s
lips.  "I checked Nick's caller ID to see who he talked to last after he
hopped in the shower." J.C. answered him in a small, but irritated, voice.
Brian raised his brow.  "Isn't that ironic?  What's wrong, scared he might
cheat on you now?" Brian said in spite.  He did not have to view J.C.'s face
to know that it was colored red.  It was obvious in the strain of J.C.'s
voice.  "Brian, let's not focus our attention on Nick and me right now.  How
about we focus our attention on your marriage or what is left of it?" J.C.
requested in a half-serious voice.  Brian clenched his jaw shut.  His
animostiy was becoming evident.  "What of it?" he asked, his voice settling
on a fixed mood.
		Brian found a seat on the arm of the sofa, his eyes peering downward while
his face stayed twisted in an pissed off fashion.  His blue eyes were cold,
almost lifeless as he looked at the floor.  He wanted to speak with someone
else, anyone else besides the man that helped destroy his marriage.  "I'm
sorry Justin didn't tell you sooner.  Hell, I'm sorry Justin didn't tell you
the first time we kissed, but there's no changing that at the moment.  There
can be some changes that occur in all of our lives, but it's got to start
with you." J.C. declared in a strong tone.  Brian's jaw flexed.  His dimples
disappeared.  "And what do I have to supposedly do?" Brian wondered, his
voice stiff.  "You have to let Justin go," J.C. answered him without
hestiation.  Brian loosened his jaw for a minute.  He couldn't accept what
J.C. was demanding of him.  "Not because I want him or anything, but because
Justin doesn't need this.  He's young, Brian, only nineteen.  He can't be
held down already, you see what he's done because of it.  Justin shouldn't
be in a marriage where he feels everything has to be committed to you and
Angel.  He needs to live life first.  He needs to be able to kiss me when I
want to be kissed and when I want to kiss him." J.C. stated in an unwavering
tone.  It surprised Brian.  It was an unbelieveable notion by J.C.,
unexpected.  He was asking Brian to leave his husband.
		"J.C., Justin said, 'Yes,' to me at the altar, not to you.  He didn't
promise to spend the rest of his life with you, he promised me.  I waited to
see if Justin was ready a thousand times and each time he assured me he was.
  He's a father now, not just a husband, but a father too.  He doesn't have
time for this petty thing you two have.  He may be young, but he's never
said to me he wasn't ready." Brian expounded.  He only knew the truth.  "He
was probably scared." J.C. argued with reserve coming into his voice.
"Scared?  Maybe you're scared that you'll lose him?  Maybe that's why you're
always right there, stepping into our marriage to try and see fit to what
you think is Justin's needs?  But what happens when you marry Nick?  Or are
you letting my best friend go in hopes that you and Justin get something
going on?" Brian inquired with the mind of a lawyer and the tongue of Judge
Judy.  "Brian, I don't know where me and Nick's relationship's headed right
now.  Right now, he's... he's just quiet." J.C. answered Brian.  Brian shook
his head.  'He's in denial.' Brian thought, standing up and stretching
quietly.  "You cheated on him, what do you expect?  For that matter, you
cheated on him with the one person he lost me to.  Do you really think he's
feeling confident about himself right now?" Brian continued to interrogate
J.C.  He demanded a reason for his and Nick's suffering.  "Right now, I
don't know and I'm not going to guess.  Nick'll tell me when he wants to.
What matters now is you letting Justin go free and allowing him to have a
life again instead of being shackled to you and Angel twenty-four-seven.
He's a kid himself." J.C. declared in a harsh tone.  He also desired
something.
		Brian scratched the top of his head, walking away from the couch.  He
didn't like J.C.'s words.  He could not see his reasonings for demanding
Justin's 'freedom.'  "Why?  If I let him go, are you going to go after him?"
Brian petitioned.  There was an uncomfrtoable silence after Brian's
question.  He was being upfront and he knew J.C. wasn't prepared for it.  "I
can't promise you that I won't." J.C. answered him truthfully.  A sigh
pressed through Brian's slightly parted lips.  He peered at the wall and
then closed his eyes.  "I can't guarantee I'll want to let him go, J.C.
Right now, I'm not sure, I need my time to think," Brian informed him with a
shaky voice.  J.C. felt Brian's discouragment.  "This is a man that I've
dedicated so much to and he's done the same for me and you just want me to
call it off and forget that I gave my virginity to him, married him, almost
gave my life for him, and shared the joys of raising a son with him." Brian
added, hoping to appease his broken heart.
		J.C. felt the guilt rise in him again.  What was he doing?  He knew he
regretted taking Justin away from his marriage and his son, but he felt a
kinship with the man.  "Fine." J.C. ultimately agreed, clicking off the
phone and leaving Brian with stinging tears in his crystal-blue eyes and
choices to be made.
		Justin Littrell glanced down at his watch with cautious eyes.  It was
going on ten-forty-five at night and Angel was still awake with him.  He
shook his head and glanced back at his giggling son.  Laying across the
floor, dressed in a dark yellow Abercrombie & Fitch shirt, beige cargo
shorts, white ankle-socks and a backwards A&F hat, Justin toyed with his son
in hopes of keeping a togetherness between the two.  He did not want Angel
to notice the difference in the house.  He didn't want Angel looking around
for his other father when Justin knew Brian would not be returning anytime
soon.
		Now, Justin anticipated a telephone call from his estranged husband, one
that would wish their son goodnight.  It was the only reason Justin
permitted Angel to stay awake so late.  Justin's hopes concerning Brian were
slowly fading.  'Why hasn't he called?' Justin wondered as his fingers laced
through Angel's silky blonde hair.  He burried his eyes into the dial on his
watch again, praying to hear a word from Brian.  Being separated from him
was becoming increasingly hard on both Justin and his family.
		The sound of Angel's contagious giggling drew Justin's eyes away from his
watch.  He grinned unconsciously when glancing at Angel's expression.  The
way his eyes lit up when his father looked at him warmed Justin's heart.  It
helped to ease his turning mind with what was occuring in his life at the
moment.  "Silly boy, Daddy loves you." Justin snickered, leaning in Angel's
direction.  Justin kissed Angel's forehead, twirling his fingers through
Angel's hair.  Angel cooed, reaching out to be held by his father.
		Another sound stole Angel and Justin from each other.  the doorbell rang
in a proud chime.  Justin sighed with discontent.  'Lord, don't let it be my
mother or someone else that wants to question me about my marriage.' Justin
prayed mentally, scooting up until he was on his knees.  He ducked his head
as he gradually stood to his feet.  "Stay right there, Bastian." Justin told
his son as he stretched.  The doorbell run once more, pulling another
hateful sigh from Justin's lips.  "I've got it Joey and Brit'!" Justin
called out, informing the friends that occupied his house.  He shoveled his
hands into his pockets, stepping lightly toward the door.  'Maybe it's
Brian.' Justin became optomistic as he reached for the doorknob.  He placed
his hand on the door and lifted his eyes.  He pulled the door open and
glanced into the darkness of the night.
		Justin's lips parted some as his eyes scanned the face before him.  He
could barely see it in the dimness of the night, but he could see the
defined cheek bones and pink lips that identified him automatically.  Justin
stepped forward a little, crossing his arms with an innocent glance.  "Hey
beautiful." J.C.'s voice sailed smoothly in the crisp night air.  Justin
smiled lightly, licking his lips.  "Hey." he whispered back.  He cocked his
head to the side, his eyes holding an intense stare with J.C.  J.C. never
tore his eyes away from Justin's azure orbs.  He loved their intensity and
beauty.
		Justin could not indentify the silence.  He and J.C. had unconsciously
avoided each other since the incident in the hotel.  No phone calls, pages,
or messages were exchanged between the two.  They had to decide in which
direction their lives were heading.  Now, as J.C.'s hands rose and gripped
Justin's waist, he could feel where J.C.'s mind was headed.  "God, I've
really missed you." J.C. said softly, lacing a finger on each hand into the
waistband of Justin's cargo shorts and tugging him forward.  Justin
hestitated and then stumbled forward in the direction of his friend and
almost lover.  He lifted one of his own hands and drew it over J.C.'s
jawline.  It was soft, yet manly.  He sighed lightly, reading J.C.'s facial
expressions.
		Justin's instincts took control of him once more as he saw J.C. leaning in
his direction.  Justin, naturally, leaned toward J.C. and permitted J.C. to
kiss him.  It was his way of speaking his feelings at the second.  His
fingertips traced J.C.'s face as J.C. parted their lips with his tongue.
Justin suckled the tongue, tasting its sweetness again.  He moaned softly,
pressing his body against J.C.'s as his friend embraced him.  'Is this
right?' Justin questioned himself as his hand moved upward and began to toy
with J.C.'s hair.  J.C.'s lips greedily kissed Justin's as his tongue licked
and savored them.  Justin liked it.  His long tongue responded by thrashing
forward and claiming J.C.'s.
		J.C. groaned lightly into Justin's mouth, casually grinding his pelvic
area against Justin's.  The friction was great.  Their heads rotated a
little, giving J.C. the greater leverage to suckle Justin's bottom lip while
his tongue licked his teeth.  One of his hands had broken free from Justin's
waist and was now holding Justin to the kiss, twisting through his hidden
curls.  He wanted Justin as his lover.  He wanted to kiss Justin daily.  He
desired to be Brian.
		"Daddy." Angel called out to his father.  Justin's lips ceased movement
immediately.  His head pulled back, yanking from J.C.'s grasp as J.C. moaned
in disapproval.  "What?" J.C. panted out, holding Justin closer as Justin's
head moved.  Justin glanced over his shoulder to see his son standing by the
door, clutching onto it as he watched his father kiss another man.  He was
kissing someone that was not Angel's father.  Justin froze up in J.C.'s
arms, losing the will to hold an erection and crave him in a sexual way.
His eyes looked into Angel's pools of confusion, his bewilderment scaring
Justin.
		Justin shrugged away J.C.'s hold on him, only turning his head a little to
view his friend.  He placed his hand on J.C.'s stomach region, leveraging
J.C. back with his hand.  J.C. was beginning to get the hint but he
resisted.  "Justin, wait, please don't..." J.C. was denied an argument.
Justin's eyes struck him with silence.  His head shook while his hand
continued to push J.C. back onto the front steps.  "I'm sorry... it's where
my heart belongs." Justin whispered, revealing something secretly to J.C.
		J.C. licked his lips, the lingering flavor of Justin's sugary lips still
there.  He kindly removed Justin's head and took his heed.  He frowned as
Justin stepped back into the house, lifting his son from the floor.  J.C.'s
lips began to part to plead with Justin again, but the door began to move
and soon it shut on J.C.  He was not going to be able to make love to Justin
that night.  He was again being denied his friend's body and his heart.
		Justin crept back inside of the house, holding Angel tightly with a warped
expression.  "Da... Da." Angel said in a wondering voice.  Justin sighed
lowly, carrying Angel back into the living room.  He stopped his small
stride to glance at Angel.  His face was still locked with confusion.
Justin couldn't believe he allowed his son to see him wrapped in another
man's arms.  'What, am I crazy?  Why the hell am I doing this?  It's not
right.' Justin told himself.  He lifted his finger and tapped it lightly
against Angel's nose.  He tried to smile for his son.  "Baby boy, I promise
you you're gonna see Dad again.  And don't you worry, I'm not going to let
your Dad leave you... he's not gonna leave us Bastian." Justin whispered to
his son, well aware that Angel only understood some of what he said.  He
kissed the bridge of Angel's nose and cuddled to him.  "I promise." Justin
whispered again as he made his own declaration to his heart.


					TO BE CONTINUED...

--- Well, I know it could have been a little more dramatized, but hey, let's
keep it real people.  Brian and Nick know now and so does everyone else, so
what happens now?  Well, you can see that Brian and Justin are quite clearly
separated... but what next?  Bah-bah-bah-bah!  And oh yeah, send me the
letters of evil about the separation and J.C.'s actions and, well, whatever
else because I like e-mail.  I remember a time where my mailbox used to have
like 20 messages after a story was posted and now I get about five.  I like
the five better because I feel like I'm responding directly to someone
instead of writing back a lot of people with pretty much the same message.
Now I really feel like I know a lot of my readers.  My college Eng;ish
teacher told me I was too wordy with my writing.  Why didn't ya'll say so?!
I'm going to try and fix that.  Oh yeah, I've been reading some really great
works on Nifty by people like Rick, DCKevin, Nsyncgrrl, and some good sex
stories too.  Ever wonder what happened to the sex stories?  Or just the
ones that aren't always Soap Operish and the have sex in it because people
realize that sex is apart of a relationship when you're with someone you
like or love?  It's 200 people, get with it.  And could someone PLEASE tell
me why in SO MANY of the stories by authors on Nifty, all people have to do
is reach over to a table and pull out condom and lube and they're ready?
Does EVERYONE have a table by their bed and they just stash lube and a
condom in there because they think they're going to get laid?!  I don't
understand that.  Someone please stop that cliché!  It's so damn annoying.
Be original about it.  Have safe sex, but don't always have the damn table!
Okay, that's enough from me.  I'll try to have the next one out in two weeks
people.  Enjoy this for now and stay happy... ---