Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 21:16:18 -0700
From: JM <Lionclaw@Bellsouth.net>
Subject: Just Beginning (Chapters 6-10)

Just Beginning (Chapter 6)
Written by JM

*** 'Just when I thought I was to be alone forever...'  This is the
continuation to the series 'Brian & Justin'.  This story involves a romance
between celebrities, mainly that of Brian Littrell (of the Backstreet Boys)
and Justin Timberlake (of 'N Sync).  If you are offended by this kind of
material, please do not read this series.  If you have not read the first
series, please do not read this one yet.  I'd like you to know the story of
Brian and Justin's saga.  Otherwise, enjoy as we continue to drift into the
lives of Brian & Justin.  Any cooments for me, please send to:
lionclaw@bellsouth.net ***

*** I'm back!!!  Welcome to the second chapter of 'Brian & Justin',
perfectly titled by David as 'Just Beginning'.  I do hope you like this
series and I hope to bring you as much joy and sorrow as the first series.
As always, read stories like 'N Sync Love' and 'The One' for good
storyline.  Special thank you to my inspiration and my "Blue", Leprechan.
Read 'Bad Boy B-Rok' for his work of art.  Special thank you to some of my
closest friends also, Donnie, Shawn (you're not forgotten!), CJ, Rick,
Jason, River, Mano, Jay & Josh, Ryan & Drew, Brian and Netboy.  And very
special thanks to all of my OLD & NEW READERS!  I love you dearly for your
support.  The BIGGEST thank you goes to David at Nifty for his continuous
support.  As always, enjoy and hopefully, you won't be disappointed.  So
now, the story is 'Just Beginning...' ***

		The sun crept upon Orlando once again for the start of a
new day.  Using it's powerful rays to wake the youngest of children and the
oldest of adults, the sun made its appearance the grandest thing in most
people's lives.  It was also the waking force inside of J.C. Chasez's
bedroom in his Orlando apartment.
		The light shined strongly through his window and cascaded
it's glow over J.C.'s body as well as that of Nick Carter's body.  J.C.'s
head was relaxed against Nick's head while his arms were hugging Nick's
chest.  Nick was snuggled closely to J.C.'s chest, his legs tangled with
J.C.'s.
		The sun peeked upon J.C.'s face, causing him to groan for
more sleep.  When he realzied he was still holding someone in his bed, his
eyes flashed open.  He looked at the still sleeping Nick and found himself
smiling.  Nick's face was innocent, as if they had done nothing wrong the
night before.  J.C. making his bold move of taking Nick's virginity was a
rough one for him to admit to himself, but he was pleased to hold Nick all
through the night, feeling Nick's soft skin against his own.  He leaned
down and kissed Nick's lips with a light touch.  Nick groaned softly and
whispered, "I love you Joshua."  When J.C. heard the words, he released
Nick from his hold.  The words scared J.C. further, causing Nick to fully
awake.  He felt cold without J.C.'s arms and he stared right up into J.C.'s
eyes.  "What... you.. you said you loved me..." J.C. stuttered out, pulling
more away from Nick.  Nick's lips trembled when he realized what he had
whispered for J.C.'s ears to hear.  "Uhm, I..." Nick didn't know what to
say.  J.C. could see the fear in his eyes.  'What are you doing to him
J.C.?  Just let him be.' J.C. chastised himself.
		J.C. agreed with his conscience and moved back over to
where Nick lay.  Nick gave him an even more fightened look as J.C. placed
his arms around him again.  "I'm sorry Nick.  I didn't mean to scare you or
anything." J.C. whispered, giving Nick a small kiss on the forehead.  "But
I..." J.C. swiftly placed a finger on Nick's lips.  "It's okay Nickie.
It's okay." J.C. assured him.  J.C. replaced his finger with his lips and
began to kiss Nick.  Nick relaxed in J.C.'s arms and began to return the
kiss.  J.C. pulled Nick's hair back and added more fuel to his kiss.  Nick
pleasured kissing J.C.  It was a new experience that he was growing to
love, being held, kiss and loved by J.C. was something he wanted more and
more.
		J.C. ended the kiss shortly and looked into Nick's crisp
blue eyes.  "Are you okay?  You're not hurt or anything?" J.C. asked
quietly, still pulling Nick's hair back.  "I'm... I'm fine.  I have a
killer headache, but thanks to you, I feel a little better." Nick replied
honestly.  J.C. was touched by Nick's sentiment.  "You're so adorable."
J.C. found himself confessing before kissing Nick on the lips again.  Nick
let J.C. pull away with a smile.  "Thank you J.C.  For everything." Nick
whispered, finally rubbing his hand over J.C.'s defined face.  "It was my
pleasure Nick." J.C. replied.  Nick frowned slightly when he realized what
their words were slowly pulling away from.  "Joshua... I mean J.C." Nick
stumbled out.  "You can call me anything Nick." J.C. assured him, rubbing
his hand over Nick's thigh.  "Joshua... I know that last night was a once
in a lifetime oppurtunity for us... but I mean... will we ever be able to
hold each other like this again?" Nick asked, his innocence growing with
the more time he spent with his new lover.  J.C. didn't want to hurt Nick
last night and he felt the same way in the morning.  He just wanted to make
Nick happy.  "I... I don't know right now Nick.  I mean... I still have..."
Nick quickly stopped J.C.'s words.  "You still have him.  I know.  I guess
it's safe to say Lance and Brian's names now.  It's no longer 'tonight'."
Nick sighed.  He carefully tried to pull away from J.C.  J.C. grabbed
Nick's hips and pulled him closer.  J.C. leaned down and lightly kissed
around Nick's neck.  Nick wanted a verbal answer, but he settled for the
love J.C. showed him.  "We can still make it 'tonight'.  Lance isn't on my
mind right now... you are." J.C. replied, moving back up to look into
Nick's eyes.  "I am?" Nick asked quietly.  J.C. smiled and rubbed a finger
over Nick's lips.  "Yes, you are." J.C. added.
		J.C. inched forward and rubbed his nose against Nick's.
"You need some tylenol, don't you?" J.C. questioned, still holding his face
right next to Nick's.  "Not really.  I've had hangovers before." Nick
replied in a strong nature.  J.C. smiled again for Nick.  He rubbed his
hands over Nick's chest while looking into his eyes.  "I could use some
Kissenol though." Nick joked.  "Ah, just what the doctor prescribed."
J.C. cheered.  He leaned further down and began kiss Nick as requested.
		Nick closed his eyes and tenderily returned the kiss.  Nick
wrapped his arms around J.C.'s back and pulled J.C. ontop of him.  'Damn
it, why can't you love me too?' Nick sighed as his kiss went deeper.  'Oh
Nick... I really want us to be...' J.C. stopped his thoughts short.  'No, I
know what I'm going to have to do... but later.  Right now I need to be
with him.' J.C. argued with himself, trying to hold the concentration on
the kiss.  As he did, Nick felt J.C.'s erect penis rubbing against his
thigh.  He wanted to moan out in passion and ask J.C. to make love to him
again, but then the name Lance formed in his mind.
		"Eh... eh..." Nick pushed J.C. back from the kiss.
J.C. looked at Nick with confusion.  "Uhm, don't get me wrong, I love
kissing you Josh... but maybe we should get dressed?" Nick advised, hurting
his heart as he talked.  j.C. ran his hands over Nick's face.
"Nick... okay." J.C. stopped himself again.  He leaned down and placed a
small kiss on the hickey he had given Nick the night before.
		J.C. rolled off of Nick and looked around the room.  "Uhm,
do you want to borrow some of my clothes until you get home?" J.C. offered,
noticing the mess they had made of Nick's clothes upon the floor.  "Yeah,
thanks.  Wow, home, so far from where I want to be." Nick shyly responded.
He crawled over to J.C. and knelt behind him.  Nick placed his hands on
J.C.'s back with fear.  'And this is where I wish home was.' Nick thought
to himself as he caressed the back that he held during their love making
the night before.  "J.C., before I do leave here and leave a million
memories behind, I wanted to say thank you for... for being my first last
night." Nick whispered.  J.C. wanted to turn around and hold Nick again for
his last moments.  "Nick... your welcome." J.C. replied.  Nick kissed
J.C.'s back before getting off of the bed.
		J.C. had not taken the time the night before to watch
Nick's naked body.  He looked at the young adonis that was in the room with
him.  The nicely shaped chest, the smooth stomach, the bronze skin and even
the limp penis that he had sucked the night before.  "Uh... I think I'm
going to take a shower if that's okay." Nick requested, grabbing his head
with pain.  J.C. stood and smiled.  He strolled over to Nick and then
pulled him into a hug.  "Yeah, get a shower okay?  Just don't forget about
me when you lose the hangover." J.C. replied as he hugged Nick.  Nick
raised his hands and hugged J.C.  "I won't have to forget about you... at
least I don't want to ever forget about you." Nick replied.  He found
himself holding J.C. longer than he should have.  "Okay, if we don't end
this now... I make end up 'opening up' more than my heart to you."
J.C. giggled.  Nick only wished to have that chance to show J.C. as much
love as J.C. had for him.  "Yeah, we had better end this..." Nick sadly
added.
		Chris had made his way to the apartment a half hour from
the start of Nick and J.C.'s day.  He pushed open the door to his apartment
and grumbled.  "Come on in Lance... I'm sure that goofball is around here
somewhere." Chris mentioned as the young blonde stood behind him.  "I just
hope he's not pissed at me about last night.  I called his cell phone five
times last night, but it seemed to be shut off." Lance replied as he
followed Chris inside.  "Hey, when you don't get laid, you tend to get
angry." Chris teased him.  Lance flushed with color when he heard Chris's
words.  "Who said we were going to fuck last night?" Lance asked sharply,
trying to avoid the obvious.  "Lance, ya'll fuck everynight, everyday and
even when you're sleep, you're probably fucking in your dreams." Chris
joked.  Lance folded his arms with disappointment.  "We make love when we
want to." Lance pouted.  "Well then you must alot because I've never seen
two people walk around erect all day long." Chris joked as he threw his
keys on the couch in the living room.  "Well... we're happy like that."
Lance finally smiled and walked into the kitchen.
		Chris took a seat on the couch in the living room and then
looked around.  He saw the two pairs of sneakers on the floor and clothing
scattered.  'Are those Nick's?' Chris pondered as he picked up things in
the living room.  "Hey, I hear the shower going.  So I think J.C.'s in
there.  If you hear a lot of moaning, ignore it." Lance laughed out while
he walked back towards the bathroom.  When Chris noticed Nick's shirt on
the floor, his mouth fell open.  "Lance!" Chris called out.  His words were
too far short as Lance had just closed the bathroom door.
		Lance smiled when he heard the shower running.  He
carefully tried to unzip his jeans to make himself more open for J.C.
"Baby, I'm sorry for last night." Lance called out so that J.C. could hear.
"But maybe we can start it off today on a hard note." Lance giggled.  He
grabbed the curtain to the shower and pulled it open.
		Lance's eyes shattered with tears when he looked inside.
Inside of the shower stood Nick and J.C., feverishly kissing each other.
J.C.'s hands were running over Nick's back while Nick's arms were wrapped
around J.C.'s neck.  The water was splashing off of them and Lance could
see the care in their kissing.
		Lance's lips trembled with pain.  J.C. felt the light of
the bathroom creep into his vision and he released Nick's lips.  J.C. wiped
the water from his face and looked out into the bathroom.  His eyes caught
glimpse of Lance's and he quickly released Nick from their hug.  Nick tried
to pull J.C. back into the hug until he realized that Lance was standing on
the outside watching them.  "Oh... uh..." Nick tried to stumble out some
words as J.C. and Lance stared into each other's eyes with heartache.
		"Lance... I can..." J.C. tried to speak but he could see
that he wasn't going to get far to Lance.  Lance didn't even want to reply
to either of them.  His heart was slowly sinking.  Nick quickly let go of
J.C. and frowned.  "Lance... I'm so sorry." Nick whimpered out.  "SHUT THE
FUCK UP!" Lance hollered at him.  Nick backed away with shock.  "No Lance,
don't be mad at him." J.C. quickly stepped forward.  "I can't believe you.
Look at you!  And him!" Lance screamed.  The tears had finally broken from
his eyes.  "You fucking bastard!" Lance screamed directly towards Nick.
"Lance... I didn't mean to..." Nick couldn't find the words to apologize.
"You fucking asshole!  How could you?  You wanted me so bad so you end up
with him?!" Lance barked at him.  J.C. couldn't take much more.
		J.C. stepped out of the warm water and grabbed a hold of
Lance.  "It's nothing..." J.C. explained with love in his eyes.  Lance
quickly snatched away from J.C.  Lance pulled back and within seconds, his
fist made contact with J.C.'s eye.  J.C. fell back onto the floor with
pain.  "I'll show you nothing!" Lance hollered before he hit J.C. again in
the shoulder.  Nick hopped out of the shower and pulled Lance from
J.C. just as Lance hit J.C. in the ribs.  "How could you fucking propose to
me and be here with him!" Lance hollered.  He ripped away from Nick before
pulling back and landing a swift punch to Nick's chest.  Nick grasped his
chest with pain and fell onto the bathroom counter.  "You said you loved
Brian!  Not my boyfriend!" Lance cried while screaming at Nick.
		Chris rushed into the bathroom and saw the two hurt men and
Lance preparing to hit Nick again.  "LANCE!" Chris bellowed and grabbed
Lance.  He pulled Lance out of the bathroom, trying to control him.  Nick
looked down at the crying J.C. and feared the worst.  "Joshua... I'm... so
sorry." Nick whimpered.  "Get out Nick... please just leave me the fuck
alone!" J.C. screamed back at him.  Nick felt tears slid down his cheek.
Nick held his chest tightly and stood from the counter.  He limped out of
the bathroom, leaving his heart on the floor with J.C.  "Just leave me
alone... because I'm afraid to love you..." J.C. whispered as he cried on
the floor.
		Chris yanked Lance into the living room and threw him on
the couch.  "What the fuck were you doing?!" Chris barked at him as he
caught his breath.  "I was about to kill those bastards!" Lance screamed
back.  "Why?" Chris tried to calm himself.  "Because.... I saw them making
out Chris!  I know they were going to do something!  And damn it, Nick did
this just to get back at me for not fucking him before we went to Hawaii!"
Lance cried, his voice falling and rising with his pain.  Chris took a seat
on the couch and tried to comfort Lance.  "NO!" Lance hollered at him and
pushed him off of the couch.  "He fucked up!  And you can't tell me it's
going to be okay because it's not!  I'm out!  I'm leaving J.C. and... and
I'm leaving 'N Sync because I can't take this bullshit anymore!" Lance
screamed.  The tears streamed down his cheeks as he let his emotions out
for everyone to hear him.
		Lance stood from the couch in a rush.  He looked at his
finger and quickly snatched off the ring.  "You never gave a fuck about
me!" Lance screamed as he threw the ring down the hallway.  'I love you
J.C.' Lance cried to himself.  Lance quickly wiped the tears away and ran
out of the apartment with a mad dash.  He didn't know where to run to, but
it had to be away from J.C.  "Lance wait!" Chris screamed out as he ran
after Lance.
		Brian stood out in the greens of a local golfing range.  It
was one of his favorite activities, teeing off for hours to relax his mind.
He cleared his mind for his shot.  'Okay, nice and easy.' Brian advised
himself as he prepared for the final swing.  He took a strong swing back
and then released, cracking his golfball out across the green.  "And it's a
nice one!" Brian complimented himself.  He gave a Jim Carrey profile.  "Eh,
needs work." he heard a giggling voice.  "And you're gonna do better?"
Brian questioned his mocker.
		Justin approached him holding his own golfball and club.
"We'll see." Justin replied.  Brian looked around the range and saw that
the other golfers were too busy hitting to notice them.  Brian quickly
leaned forward and placed a smooth kiss on Justin's lips.  Justin backed
away suddenly with surprise.  "Sorry, just had to." Brian laughed as he
looked at Justin's crooked face.  "I bet." Justin laughed with him.  "Well
let's see what you've got babe." Brian said, offering the tee for Justin.
Justin gave him a cocky smile and then placed his ball onto the tee.  "Can
I have some space?" Justin requested, signaling for Brian to move back.
Brian gave a small shrug and backed away from Justin.  Justin smiled
towards him and then put all of his concentration into his aim.  With a
smooth and easy swing, Justin sent his ball sailing over the green.  'God,
is he good at everything?' Brian complained.
		Brian placed his hand over his eyes to see how far the ball
had went.  It had landed just an inch ahead of Brian's.  "And it's good!"
Justin shouted when he too saw the distance of the ball.  "Yeah yeah."
Brian pouted as he approached.  "Mad?" Justin questioned with concern
instead of his cocky tone.  "Nah, at least I know I have some competition
now." Brian chimed.  "Aaww, not much competition in the others?" Justin
questioned jokingly.  "Nah, sometimes Nick and Kevin, but not really."
Brian replied sorely.  Justin smiled brightly, knowing he had pleased his
husband.  He was thrilled that Brian had let him come with him to the
golfing range.  Usually it was a private time for Brian, yet Brian decided
to share it with his new husband.
		"Well... what do we do now?" Justin asked, placing his club
next to his side.  "Uhm, go home, shower and have sex." Brian shrugged.
"Gosh, is that all our lives are going to be about?  Showering?" Justin
joked.  Brian grinned for Justin.  "No, how about we go home and sit out
back for awhile?  Just me and you." Brian suggested.  Justin pondered the
thought deeply.  "Promise no Nick, no Kevin, no Leigh Ann." Justin
requested.  "Darn, they're my favorite subjects!" Brian teased him.  Justin
nudged him with a smile.  "No, just me and you Mr. Littrell.  Me drinking
my coffee and you eating your cereal." Brian replied softly.  "Okay, let's
do that then." Justin agreed happily.  They grabbed their clubs and walked
away from the golfing range.
		When Brian and Justin ariived home, they were holding hands
while Tyke and BJ ran up the steps towards the door.  "Well I'd say they
had a good time sitting in the car while we teed off." Brian joked as he
stuck his key into the front door.  "Guess they did." Justin played along
while Brian opened the door.  Brian ushered the dogs inside and he looked
inside.  "Come on cutie." Brian cheered, dragging Justin inside.
		Brian held Justin's hand tighter as they walked down the
hall and into the kitchen.  "Should I check the messages?" Justin offered
softly.  "Nope.  Just get your cereal and I'll grab a cup of the
Starbucks." Brian chimed, releasing Justin's hand.  Justin wanted to reach
out and grasp Brian's soft hand again, but chose not to.  He walked to the
cupboards while Brian poured a cup of his coffee.  Justin thought of how he
and Brian awoke to each other in the morning.  How Brian had gently woke
him up by sucking his penis until his eyes fluttered open.  Justin
remembered laying in Brian's arms for an hounr afterward, speaking no words
but a small kiss from time to time.
		Brian was the first to step outside into the backyard.  It
was the first chilling morning Orlando had seen during the summer, but
Brian didn't mind it.  He sipped his coffee as he walked towards one of the
lawn chairs.  He let the breeze run over him before taking a seat to admire
the sun.  'What does it feel like?' Brian questioned his reality.  'You're
married to the man you love... are you happy?' Brian couldn't believe how
his mind thought it the early day.  'I... I've never been happier.' Brian
finally decided.  He was living a life that he wished for a year ago.  One
in which he and Justin could love each other endlessly.  Despite any
problems, interuptions or even lose of time, he was happy that he still
could hold Justin at night or during the day.
		"Are you okay?" Justin asked as he stepped over to Brian.
He looked to his side, watching his husband stand next to him.  Brian
lifted his hand and ran it over Justin's leg.  "Yeah, I'm fine." Brian
whispered a reply before his eyes gazed back to the open area.  Brian eyes
stared upon the poll, watching the water ripple lightly with the wind.  The
image of sun the reflected in Brian's eyes an image of Justin.  "Come
here." Brian finally gave into his heart.  Justin looked down at Brian with
wonder.  Brian patted to his left thigh and Justin quickly caught onto
Brian's signal.
		Justin walked over to the front of Brian and carefully took
a seat in Brian's lap.  Brian took another sip off of his coffee and placed
his other arm around Justin's waist.  Justin sighed lowly, then taking a
spoonfull of his cereal into his mouth.  "Kind of chilly day." Brian
commented softly.  Justin nodded and enhaled another chunk of cereal.
"Aren't you glad we have today off?" Justin whispered a question.  Brian
carefully pulled Justin further into his lap and snuggled his chest to
Justin's back.  "I'm really happy because I don't want to leave you in
three weeks." Brian replied with a low and depressed voice.  "It'll be
fine.  Just two weeks." Justin tried to lighten the situation but failed.
"Two weeks is a long time without you.  Kevin said that there may be a
guarantee that we tour again later on this year.  Like from October to the
beginning of December here in the States," Brian added, still feeling low.
Justin took a small spooful of cereal when he heard Brian's words.  He
didn't want to add to Brian's sadness, but his heart felt even worse
knowing that Brian would be away for two months.  "Well there is no telling
when they'll make us tour..." Justin whispered.  "Like I said, I don't want
to be away from you." Brian murmured.  He took a small sip off his coffee
and tried to waken his mood.  "Brian... what if during like October or
whatever, we're not that busy with things to do?  Maybe I could go on tour
with you and the guys?" Justin requested with hope.  Brian pondered the
idea as he reclined back in the chair.  "If it's possible... I know it'll
be hard to coorodinate, but if we can... I'd love for you to come with me."
Brian gave an honest answer.
		Brian thought further on the idea as Justin distanced
slightly.  "Wouldn't that be interesting?  The press finding out that
Justin Timberlake is on the Backstreet Boys tour.  I bet the Internet folks
and media would be saying, 'Justin Timberlake is on tour with the
Backstreet Boys because he couldn't bare being away from his rumored lover,
Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys'.  That would do us wonders." Brian
joked.  He didn't receive a laugh from Justin.  "It's not like it isn't
true." Justin shrugged, sensing Brian was searching for a reply.  "It's not
true Justin.  If it was true, they'd say Justin Littrell." Brian whispered
to lighten Justin's mood.  Justin smiled brightly and let the breeze blow
over his face.  "I'm fucking Brian Littrell." Justin giggled with pride.
"Are you trying to make all of my girl fans jealous?" Brian teased him.
"And your guys fans too." Justin added with laughter.  "Yeah yeah
yeah... big deal.  I'm married to Justin Randall Littrell.  I got the
better odds." Brian laughed.  Justin felt the laughter as he continued to
laugh with him.  "Who'll be on top tonight though?" Justin tried to offer
an appeal.  "Heh heh, we'll see cutie.  Depends on who gets hard first."
Brian snickered.  "Hmm, if I could only let you see my cock now." Justin
laughed.  "You don't have to wait you know sweetie.  I'm all for it." Brian
whispered his reply with a grin.  "I don't know about that..." Justin
replied, trying to lose his laughter.  "Are you sure babe?" Brian
questioned, lightly running his hand over Justin's ass.  Justin thought
over the idea that Brian was offering to him.
		Justin shrugged and stood.  He placed his bowl to the side
and turned around to Brian.  Brian looked as a nicely formed tent was
growing in Justin's cotton white shorts.  "What do you want to do?" Justin
asked shyly.  "Don't worry about it babe." Brian whispered back before
slowly lifting his hands to Justin's shorts.  Brian pulled up Justin's
hooded shirt a little to have better access to Justin's shorts.  Brian
grasped the waistband of the shorts and pulled the front down.  He looked
at the black Calvin Klein breifs Justin wore.  'My baby,' Brian smiled to
himself when he saw the length craving to be released to the cool air of
Orlando.  Brian slipped Justin's shorts to just above his knees and then
pulled down the brreifs so that they were rolled to that same area.
		Justin's penis was released to the air, sticking straight
towards Brian.  Brian licked his lips sensually, admiring the red head that
dripped with pre-cum.  Brian grasped the cock with his own cold hands,
causing Justin to shiver.  'It's okay babe.' Brian said in his head as he
inched closer to Justin's rod.  Brian slithered his tongue out and then
easily took a lick of the pre-cum.  "Mmmm.." Justin hummed as he felt
Brian's tongue.  Brian savored the pre-cum before going in and rubbing his
tongue fully over the head.  Brian's warm and soft tongue brought the heat
back to Justin's body.  It was the second time that Brian was sucking
Justin off that morning.
		Brian's tongue rolled over the large head before Brian went
in for more.  He took the head of Justin's cock into his mouth and kept his
tongue licking the head.  Justin bent his knees slightly as the force of
Brian's experted mouth took over.  Brian began taking Justin further into
his mouth before relaxing his throat.  As he relaxed his throat, he took
the head of Justin's cock into it.  "Bri.." Justin groaned loudly.  He
placed his fingers on Brian's head and began to caress Brian's sandy hair.
Brian took the moan as a good sign and kept his efforts moving.  "Babe."
Justin grunted, feeling Brian take in his cock in and out of his mouth.
		Brian increased the pace of his bobbing, slicking Justin's
cock up fully with his mouth.  Brian held the head in his mouth and jacked
of the rest of Justin's growing cock.  "Heh heh heh heh..." Justin panted,
letting his husband bring his juices further up his weakening body.
"Mmmmmmmm" Brian hummed while sucking the head of Justin's penis.
		Brian placed his hands on Justin's ass and tried to pull
him into the chair.  Justin caught onto Brian's lead and moved forward to
the chair.  Justin knelt in the chair, his knees between Brian's legs.
Brian kept a lose grip on Justin's ass while his tongue ran over Justin's
head again.  "Uh uh uh... Brian..." Justin groaned even more as Brian
sucked.  Brian opened his eyes slightly to see the brown hairs that ran
from Justin's belly button and then his eyes shifted to the light brown
hair surrounding Justin's meat.  'Oh Justin...' Brian thought, a small tear
escaping his eyes.  He didn't know why he was choken up by the idea of
sucking Justin off.  "Brian!" Justin quickly interupted Brian's thoughts.
Brian felt Justin was on the edge and rubbed his tongue over Justin's piss
slit.  "Yes.. oh yeah..." Justin grunted as he began to cum in Brian's
mouth.  His cum came in thick ropes, Brian doing his best to swallow
Justin's juice.  Brian let small drops escape his mouth as he swallowed.
		Justin felt weak as he recovered from his orgasm.  He
slipped down into Brian's lap and Brian wrapped his arms around Justin.
"You okay?" Brian asked as he hugged Justin.  Justin panted hard in Brian's
arms.  "I'll be fine... you're just so good at that." Justin replied in a
husky voice.  "Well, you're the only one I've tried my 'talent' on babe."
Brian giggled.  Justin rubbed his cheek to Brian's before using his long
tongue to lick away the cum that had slipped out of Brian's mouth.  "Do you
enjoy the taste of your own cum." Brian teased him.  "If you had a bigger
mouth, I wouldn't have that problem." Justin joked back to him.  "My dick
makes up for that." Brian snickered.  "Yes, it does." Justin giggled,
lightly running his hand over Brian's crotch.
		Brian looked down and saw that Justin's limp penis was
still exposed to the days air.  "Do you think you should pull your jeans up
or were you hoping we were gonna fuck here." Brian teased him, trying to
pull up Justin's breifs.  "Last time I checked, we haven't 'fucked' for a
long time." Justin retorted, yanking up his shorts.  Brian sighed and held
Justin in his lap.  "You're right.  Quickie's are sorta boring to me.  I
prefer making love to you.... caressing you, holding you, hugging you,
kissing you, touching you while my dick sinks deeper and deeper and deeper
and deeper inside of your soft, cute, little ass..." Brian whispered in a
seductive tone that said revenge.  Justin was turned on fully by Brian's
senual voice and thoughts.  "Oh Brian... our bed is lonely." Justin tried
to hint to him.  "I know it is..." Brian whispered back, rubbing his hand
to Justin's inner thigh.  Justin gasped with pleasure.  "And uhm... I need
you..." Justin replied, feeling Brian's hands massaged his body.  "I need
you too babe..." Brian whispered.  Justin eased over to Brian's face and
lightly kissed the tip of his nose.  "I need you to make love to me..."
Justin requested.  Brian smiled brightly and then felt Justin's hands tried
to pull up his shirt.  "Like you did to me last night... when I was
screaming for you.." Brian whispered back, feeling control.  "Which time
babe..." Justin teased but still feeling his sexual desire pulling upon
him.  "Each and every time..." Brian whispered back, carefully nibbling on
Justin's ear.  "Oh Brian..." Justin groaned.  "Can I make love to you any
way I want?" Brian requested, still touching Justin.  "As long as you don't
hurt me... yes Brian." Justin replied with a deep groan.  Brian lost his
smile as he felt his erection dying to be released.  "I'd
never... ever.. hurt you Justin." Brian answered.  He panted lightly into
Justin's ear.  "Then do it." Justin demanded in a desperate voice.  "Okay
Mr. Littrell." Brian smiled once again.
		Brian pulled Justin into his arms and stood.  He left his
cup and Justin's bowl outside as he carried Justin inside.  Justin wrapped
his arms around Brian's neck and leaned down to kiss Brian's neck.  Brian
knew Justin's weak spots, yet Justin knew Brian's also.  Brian carried
Justin through the kitchen and then towards the steps that led up to their
room.  As Brian and Justin reached that first step, the doorbell rang.
Brian and Justin's eyes shifted to the door with discourage faces and
pouting mouths.


Just Beginning (Chapter 7)
Written by JM

		"Maybe if we just go upstairs... they'll go away." Brian
whispered a suggestion.  "Brian, they won't." Justin pouted as he heard the
doorbell ring again.  "Fuck." Brian complained as he lightly placed Justin
on the steps.  Justin grabbed Brian's hand, sensing the anger in Brian.
"Hey babe, it's okay.  We have all our lives." Justin whispered for
assuranace.  Brian looked down to his husband with envy.  "You are such a
wonderful man." Brian sighed.  He leaned down and kissed Justin on the
lips.  "God, I love you so much Justin." Brian said softly, rubbing his
hand over Justin's face.  "You too." Justin shortly answered.  Brian wanted
to sit with Justin forever.  Something about Justin made even the worst of
situations seem like a small drop of rain when a hurricane is expected.
		His time with his husband was once again short lived when
the sounds of some banging on the door interupted him.  He cursed under his
breath and moved away from Justin.  "I'm coming!" Brian hollered as he left
his husband on the steps.
		He charged the door and ripped it opened.  "I hope you
weren't cumming Brian baby." A.J. replied with a snicker.  Brian gave
A.J. an angered face ad turned to see his cousin standing next to A.J.
"Next time, when the doorbell rings, answer it." Kevin chastised him.
"Next time call first and I'll tell my husband I can't be with him because
my friends are so fucking desperate to interupt us." Brian hissed back.
"Whoa!  Don't get PMS on us or anything." A.J. tried to joke as he passed
by Brian and stepped inside.  Brian sighed loudly and let Kevin step
inside.
		"Where is the other Littrell?" A.J. asked, looking around
the living room.  "Looking for me A.J.?" Justin questioned as he stepped
into the living room with a small smile.  A.J. turned around quickly and
ran towards Justin.  He gripped Justin into a strong hug, causing Justin to
gasp for air.  "I'm so happy you'e home lil' buddy!" A.J. cheered as he
hugged Justin.  "Me too A.J." Justin tried to laugh through the hug.
		"I didn't get such a warm welcome." Brian complained as he
took a seat on one of the couches.  Brian looked up to his brooding cousin.
"Don't stand around Kevin, sit down." Brian insisted.  Kevin kept his
angered mood as he stood.  Brian rolled his eyes at Kevin and looked
towards his husband and friend.
		"Don't worry about him B-Rok.  I'm sure he missed you too."
A.J. laughed before letting Justin sit down.  A.J. smiled brightly at them
and then took a seat in Justin's lap.  Justing groaned playfully as
A.J. sat down.  Brian gave a slight jealousy towards A.J.'s obvious
affection towards Justin and not for him.  "So how was the honeymoon?
Still a little sore?" A.J. joked as he looked over to Brian.  Brian giggled
lightly, unable to fight A.J's chipper mood.  "I bet you are..."
A.J. snickered, nudging Justin.
		"A.J., that is now why we're here." Kevin hissed towards
his friend.  A.J. gave Kevin a powerful stare before looking back to Brian.
"He's right, that's not why we're here.  I just hate talking about bad shit
first." A.J. bellowed with dispair.  "What's bad?" Justin questioned with
concern.  "We think Nick and J.C. fucked." A.J. quickly answered.  Justin's
mouth fell open with shock.  "What?!" Brian hollered loudly.  Kevin gave
A.J. an angered glared.  "What that asshole is trying to say is that Lance
and Chris caught Nick and J.C. in the shower kissing." Kevin summarized
A.J.'s arrogance.  "Oh come on!  When I talked to Chris, he said he found
Nick's drawz, his clothes and all sorts of shit in J.C.'s room.  Like you
don't believe they were fucking." A.J. snapped back towards Kevin.  "I
don't know shit A.J.  I haven't talked to Nick or J.C." Kevin argued.
		"Okay, stop it!" Justin interupted them with anger.
"Where's J.C. at?" Justin asked when he felt he had everyone's attention.
"Last we heard he was out looking for Lance." Kevin replied, trying to clam
his anger.  "And Nick?" Brian questioned with serious concern.  "Chris said
when he left, Nick was still in J.C.'s room crying." A.J. replied softly.
		Justin was still trying to compute everything into his head
when Brian stood.  "I'll be back." Brian informed everyone as he searched
for his keys.  "Where are you going?" A.J. got his question out before
Justin could.  "I gotta go see Nick." Brian answered, not looking to Justin
because of fear.  "B-Rok, Chris thinks that Nick and J.C. were just drunk
and they might have done something... we don't know." A.J. explained,
standing from Justin's lap.  "Well it's time that I jump to myown
conclusions then." Brian replied, jiggling his keys.  "Wait, wait... Justin
will you please say something to your husband?  It's obvious we're no good
to his stubborn head." Kevin beckoned upon Justin.  Justin gave Brian a
disturbed glance and then shrugged.  "It's on him." Justin replied, trying
to hold in his pain.  "Fuck no!  It is not on him." A.J. argued, looking
right at Brian.  "I love you J." Brian said psat A.J. and then headed for
the door.  "You're out your fucking mind!" A.J. hollered at him.  He had
determination in his heart and he ran after Brian.
		"Being with you guys is going to make me get gray hairs."
Kevin sorely complained.  "Yeah well, talk to your cousin." Justin huffed
off his words.  "Me?  Why don't you talk to your husband and tell him how
you feel?" Kevin argued lightly.  Justin stood from the couch and began to
walk away.  "Because sometimes my husband loves Nick too much to hear us
out." Justin replied sadly.  "Justin, I don't care how much of a best
friend Nick is, that's fucked up when he leaves you." Kevin was becoming
aggrivated.  "Kev, he'll be back.  And we'll still be married." Justin
sighed, not wanting to face Kevin.  "And you'll be happy?" Kevin questioned
loudly.
		"Yes, they'll be happy." A.J. replied before Justin again.
"And want to know why they'll be happy?" A.J. questioned as he walked into
the living room where his friends were.  "Why A.J.?" Kevin arrogantly
questioned.  "Because Brian asked me to give this to the guy in the room
that he loves so much!" A.J. cheered happily.  He handed Justin a white
rose with a small note attached.  "Where'd you get that?" Kevin questioned
as Justin took the rose.  "Brian's got a dozen.  Kidding, actually Brian
has a small bush or roses growing on the side of the house.  He said tell
his baby that he loves him." A.J. cooed.  Justin admired the rose and then
looked at the note.  All it said was 'B loves J'.  Justin smiled happily
and held the rose.  "And that's why Justin trusts Brian because Brian never
goes on without saying he loves Justin." A.J. said snobbishly to Kevin.
Kevin rolled his eyes with a lose.  Brian had won out on him by showing
that he cared for his husband and was always thinking of him.
		Brian had only been to the apartment where J.C. and Chris
lived twice, but he knew where it was located.  As he parked his car, his
mind ran through many thoughts.  'If they fucked, did J.C. take his...'
Brian tried to rid his minds of scared thoughts for his best friend.
'J.C. had better been gentle.' Brian became angered with thought.  He
pushed open the door to his car and then stepped out.  He was dressed in an
Amrani knitted cap, a dark blue, long sleeved shirt and white shorts.  He
placed his keys in his pocket and began his marach for the apartment that
J.C. and Chris lived in.
		Brian was fortunate that the door was unlocked to the
apartment.  He hated to be rude and step inside without given permission
but no one answered to the knocks he gave on the door.
		"Hello?" Brian questioned as he walked inside.  The
apartment had not changed shape since the morning incident.  "Hello?" Brian
called again, walking past the living room.  He took notice of the clothing
that still laid in the living room.  When he saw Nick's shirt, he knew in
his heart what had happened between Nick and J.C.  'Damn you J.C.' Brian
angered even further.
		Brian found his way to the back where J.C.'s room was and
saw the door slightly creaked open.  "J.C.?" Brian questioned as he pushed
the door open.  He looked inside and saw Nick lying on the bed with his
head burried in J.C.'s pillow.  Brian sighed lowly and stepped inside.  He
shut the door behind himself and then turned back to Nick.
		Nick did not move at all as Brian walked over to the bed.
"Nick... Nick.. Nick get up." Brian tried to encourage his friend.  Nick
lifted his head slightly and saw Brian standing in the room with him.
"Tell me I'm dying." Nick whispered with his tear stained cheeks.  "No,
you're not." Brian didn't smile at Nick.  "Then leave me alone Bri." Nick
whimpered before laying his head back in the pillow.  "You have a hangover
don't you?" Brian questioned, looking at the bed that once was the area for
Nick and J.C.'s experience.  "I have a headache and I fucked up big, is
that what you want to hear?" Nick groaned.  "No Nick.  I want to hear that
you and J.C. didn't do anything last night." Brian requested, sitting next
to Nick on the bed.  "Well I can't tell you that." Nick stumbled out his
words, trying not to cry again.  Brian was finally convinced by Nick's
revalation.  "Did he hurt you?" Brian questioned, rubbing his hand over
Nick's leg.  "No, he was very gentle... so gentle that I..." Nick stopped
himself when the tears slipped out of his eyes again.  "You need to snap
out of this Nick.  You've really fucked up this time." Brian commented.
		Nick lifted his body from where he laid and sat next to
Brian.  "Brian... I let J.C. make love to me last night, whether I was
drunk or not, we had sex." Nick became bold with his words.  Brian ignored
Nick's growing pain.  "And why Nick?" Brian questioned, rubbing a hand over
Nick's hair.  "I.. I... I don't know yet." Nick whimpered.  "Was it because
of me?" Brian asked softly.  "Brian... you mean a lot to me but..." Nick
was scared to say the words.  "But what?  Why did you get drunk Nick?"
Brian questioned, trying not to show his disgust.  "Because I missed you so
much." Nick answered honestly.
		Brian took Nick's words to heart.  Brian stood from the bed
and turned to look Nick in the face.  "Nick, you went too far this time.
You came between Lance and J.C., you didn't give them a chance.  A chance
for their love to become something." Brian chastised him.  "J.C. slept with
me too.  We both messed up." Nick argued with tears.  "Nick, if I'm the
reason you went to the bar... then it's just as much my fault." Brian
whispered.  "Brian no... I guess..." Nick tried to fight his feelings.
"Nick, I can't let you do this again.  I love my husband, I really love
him, but I can't let everyone else's lives get fucked up because of it."
Brian confessed, small tears trying to break from his eyes.  "I can't let
my best friend use others as a way to satisfy his urge to have me." Brian
added, using his finger to wipe the tears from his eyes.
		"So..." Brian sighed out before grabbing his shorts.  Nick
watched carefully as Brian pulled his shorts down to his knees.  Nick was
in awe when he watched Brian.  Brian pulled down his pair of ash gray
briefs and frowned.  "So... if I'm what you want, take me.  Get it out of
your system.  Lay me on the bed and make love to me so that you'll have me
and you won't come between what J.C. and Lance have or had." Brian gave a
slight order as he exposed himself to Nick.  Nick had never had the
oppurtunity to actually stare at Brian's lower body.  They had had years of
times where they had saw each other slightly naked, but never with the
other's concent.  Nick was basking in the sight of Brian's limp penis, his
nicely shaped balls, his smooth skin.  "Brian... I don't.. I don't know
what to say..." Nick tried to explained himself without fear.  "Nick, I'm
doing something that no man in his right mind would do.  I'm letting you
have me like you've wanted for years because if I don't, it may be the end
of my marriage." Brian explained without love.  Nick didn't know why but he
was feeling repulsed by the idea that Brian would give himself to him for
nothing.
		Nick didn't let his heart stop his mind from it's
curiosity.  Nick reached his hand out and rubbed a finger over Brian's soft
penis.  Not a growl or groan escaped Brian's lips as Nick began to pet his
meat.  Nick was surprised.  Brian had not even become hard to the touch.
Brian was stimulated the way Nick wanted.  Nick liked it when he touched
J.C.'s penis in the shower.  J.C. was hard instantly with the touch of
Nick's gentle hand.  Now Brian was showing no love towards the thought of
sleeping with Nick.  Nick needed a man that would love to hold him and make
love to him.  "No Brian!  When I get my chance to sleep with you, it'll be
beautiful." Nick argued and quickly stood from the bed.
		Nick stood in a pair of J.C.'s boxers and turned away from
Brian.  "Come on Nick!  This is what you've always wanted.  You've tried
for months just to suck me off, well heres your chance.  I'm giving myself
to you!  Fuck me!" Brian barked at him.  "Brian, I don't want to." Nick
replied, shaking his head.  "Why?  Huh?  Don't I look good?  Am I not
tempting to you?" Brian said, letting tears grace his cheeks.  He had
betrayed in his heart something he held dearly.  He felt wrong for trying
to offer himself to Nick, but his heart wouldn't let Nick come between him
and Justin anymore.  His actions were wrong to some, but his marriage and
love for Justin meant more to him than what his friends or family may have
thought.
		"Brian... I don't want to make love to you, fuck you or
even touch you because..." Nick tried to fight the tears again.  "Because
of what?  I'm here Frack so take me." Brian offered again with disgust.
"Because I love J.C.!" Nick finally shouted, turning to Brian.  Brian
couldn't believe his ears.  "Brian, I'll always love you.  I just can't
make love to you like this." Nick cried.  Brian quickly pulled his shorts
and underwear up and looked right into Nick's tearing eyes.  "You can't
love us both or Lance too." Brian tried to explain.  "You weren't there
last night!  You didn't hold J.C.'s hand for comfort and you didn't cry
when he was about to let you go.  You didn't see the love in his eyes when
he made love to me or when he held me.  He cares and I care... I know it's
stupid and hard to understand, but I can't fight where my heart directs me!
I love Joshua because... because he's all I wanted in you and more." Nick
whimpered.  He moved away from Brian and then sat on the edge of the bed.
		Brian tried to argue his side but he knew not to eve try at
the moment.  Brian took a seat next to Nick and then placed an arm around
Nick's shoulders.  "Okay Nick... you love J.C.  But he's in the same spot I
am.  He loves Lance.. unless J.C. confesses his love too, you're going to
end up hurting too much." Brian tried to console him.  Nick rested his head
to Brian's shoulder and tried to stop his crying.  "Then maybe I'll have to
talk to him so that he can confess his love?" Nick offered a suggestion.
At the sound of Nick's idea, Brian released him.  "Nick, you can't make him
love you." Brian said, standing from the bed quickly.  "You couldn't make
me love you Nick.  When someone has found something, you can't just get
drunk and think that fucking them will make them love you." Brian started
his chastising again.  "I'm not trying to make him love me because he does
Brian." Nick argued.  "Then where is he now Nick?" Brian questioned,
knowing his argument would win.  "Ending things with Lance." Nick replied
his wishes.  "No, trying to work things out." Brian retorted.
		Brian looked around the room and tried to piece together on
what to do.  "Get your clothes and stuff together.  I'm going to drive you
to your house so you can give J.C. his space." Brian said with a slight
demand.  "No, I'm not leaving.  Not until J.C. asks me to." Nick replied,
wiping each tear that fell from his eyes.  "Nick what is wrong with you?!
You told me you loved me a week ago in Hawaii.  Today I was about to give
myself to you so that you'd leave them alone and now you're not going to
even listen to me?" Brian was in utter disgust with his friend.  "Brian you
have no concept of love at all." Nick barked.  "I have no concept?!  Who's
fucking getting drunk everyday and then giving themselves to their
ex-boyfriend's new boyfriend?" Brian hit a sore spot.  "I didn't 'give
myself' to him.  He made love to me like he cared like..." Nick once again
refused to bear himself to Brian.  "Like?  Like you wanted me to do that
night I hit Justin?" Brian questioned with anger.  "I did not make you hit
him.  You didn't that on your own.  I'm surprised you're married to the man
you hit!" Nick decided to retaliate with his anger.  "Don't say that Nick.
Don't bring my husband into this because he's had enough pain because of me
and you." Brian pleaded with anger and sadness.  "Yeah well, he would have
been torn up had he known you wanted to fuck me today." Nick said softly.
"Nick, I can't do this.  I can't help you anymore because you don't want me
to help you.  You just want someone to love you... and I can't.  I'm
married now and I love Justin." Brian finally gave in.  "Good.  I love
J.C." Nick replied without care.  Brian shook his head at Nick with shame.
		"Look, I'm gonna go home now and try to spend some time
with Justin.  If you need me and when you're ready to leave, just call me
and I'll come and get you." Brian sighed.  Nick didn't reply to Brian's
offer.  Brian turned from Nick with heartache.  'You're not my Frack
anymore.' Brian thought as he walked out of the room.  'I'm sorry Frick.'
Nick sighed.
		He felt pain from where Lance had hit him.  "Damn, he must
have been wearing his ring when he fucking hit me." Nick complained as he
doubled over with pain.  His chest was throbbing slightly, making it hard
for him to catch a breath of air.  "Oh shit... Brian..." Nick grunted with
desperation.  Tears broke from his eyes before Nick blacked out in the
room.


Just Beginning (Chapter 8)
Written by JM

		Brian was happy to be walking up the steps to his home.
'If Nick needs me, he'll come see me.' Brian was convinced as he opened the
door to hs house.  "Justin?  Babe?" Brian called out as he stepped inside.
"Your 'babe' is around here somewhere." Brian heard a female voice reply.
Brian looked and saw Nikki standing nearby with a smile.  "Hey there Foxy."
Brian giggled as he saw her.  "Oh I'm a Fox now eh?" Nikki laughed along.
"Always Nikki.  You're just dating a frog that's my cousin." Brian joked as
he walked up to her.  "Hey, watch it.  That 'frog' said he loves me." Nikki
chimed and then gave Brian a small hug.  "Yeah well... he can be a prince
when he wants to." Brian laughed.  "Only when he wants to be." Nikki
agreed.
		"Is he still here?" Brian questioned as their hug ended.
"Yeah, I'm still here." he heard Kevin reply sorely.  "Jolly." Brian
groaned before looking at his older cousin.  "Thanks for leaving me with
your sad husband.  He's a lot of conversation when he's mad at you." Kevin
tried to instigate with Brian.  "I bet he is." Brian rolled his eyes
quickly at Kevin.  "Look... just go make sure he's okay." Kevin advised
while grabbing Nikki's hand.  "Yes oh master." Brian joked before walking
away.
		Brian walked intot he kitchen and saw Justin sitting on the
counter.  It was the same space Justin occupied when Brian had left him for
pormotional arrangements in Los Angeles.  "Hey babe." Brian said softly
while walking towards Justin.  Justin kept his eyes on the floor, rocking
back and forth on the counter.  "Miss me?" Brian did his best to make
Justin smile.  "Like I missed crying at night." Justin whispered back.
Brian was hurt by Justin's comment.
		"I thought..." Brian stopped himself when Justin lifted his
head.  "You thought that the rose would make me smile?" Justin questioned
softly.  Brian nodded with puppy dog eyes.  "It did, but then I had to deal
with A.J. and Kevin arguing, Joey calling in search of Lance and
well... just bullshit that I didn't want to deal with." Justin bitterly
commented.  Brian felt sorry for Justin, knowing that wasn't the kind of
stress that Justin needed to handle alone.  He placed his hands on Justin's
thighs and tried to think of a way to ease Justin's mind.  "How about I
kick everyone out of here and me and you just go upstiars and cuddle for
awhile?" Brian offered lowly.  Justin gave him a small smile for relief.
"Come on... it's a chance for us to just lay together and say, 'Fuck the
world because I have my husband'." Brian giggled.  Justin laughed with him
softly.  "So what do you say Mr. Littrell?  Will you fuck the world with
me?" Brian requested with need.
		Before Justin could utter his joyous reply, the phone rang
loudly.  "Fuck!" Brian hollered as he heard the phone.  Justin once again
sensed Brian's anger and shared it.  "What's the prob?" A.J. asked as he
walked into the kitchen.  Brian didn't answer A.J.  He walked over to the
phone and ripped it from it's base.  "Yes, this is Brian." Brian sorely
replied.  "Brian... Brian, get down to Florida Hospital now." he heard
Chris puff out.  "Why?  What's wrong?" Brian asked with fear.  "Just get
your ass down here." Chris stated again before hanging up the phone.  Brian
heard the dial tone and looked at the phone with shock.
		"What is it babe?" Justin asked, still sitting on the
counter.  "That was Chris... he said uh.. he said to get down to Florida
Hospital." Brian stuttered a reply.  A.J. looked at him with the deepest of
concerns.  "What's wrong?  Did they find Lance?" A.J. desperately
questioned.  "I... I don't know.  He didn't say anything after that." Brian
shrugged, still trying to piece together the phone call.  "Well come on!
Let's move then!" A.J. quickly barked before running out of the kitchen.
		Justin listened as A.J. rallied the others together for
their leave.  He leaped off the counter and walked over to Brian.  "Another
interuption eh?" Justin bitterly asked.  He tried to fight the feelings of
losing moments with Brian.  Brian nodded and grasped Justin's hand.  He
held it tightly for love while thinking of the possible situations that may
have occured.  "Who knows what's wrong this time?" Brian sighed as he led
Justin to the door.
		Within minutes, Brian, Justin, A.J., Kevin and Nikki were
on there way to the hospital.When they arrived to the emergency room, the
press was slowly building outside of the hospital.  "Whoa this must be
big." A.J. breathed out as they slid inside before press could get a hold
of them.  "If finding Lance makes the headlines, so be it, but we need to
know where he is." Kevin stated as he ushered his friends through the
emergency room.
		Nikki and Justin were the first to make it to the main
desk, seeking help in the eyes of the nurses.  "Excuse me, has a James Bass
checked in?" Nikki asked.  Justin awaited a response with urgency.  Their
answer was that of crying children, ringing phones, nagging nurses and the
sounds of wheels sliding across the floors.  "Excuse me!" Nikki beckoned in
a rude tone to the nurse behind the desk.  "There is no James Bass here."
she arrogantly replied before contiuing her form filling.  "What do you
mean there is no James Bass here?" Nikki quickly questioned her with anger.
		"Guys!  Guys!" they heard Chris calling to them as he ran
down the hall.  Brian and A.J. quickly met him half way with his run.
"Where's Lance at?  Is he okay?" A.J. asked when they reached Chris.  Chris
pulled his braids back and cocked an unsure face at A.J.  "Lance?  What are
you talking about?" Chris panted out his question.  "Isn't that why we're
here?" Brian asked, just as confused as Chris.  "No, it's Nick." Chris
replied, trying to spare Brian pain that he knew he would endure.  "Nick!"
Brian quickly shouted back, grabbing Chris with fear.  "Yeah, when me and
J.C. got back to the apartment, we found Nick lying on the floor in J.C.'s
room and he was unconscious.  He was barely breathing and we had to call
the emergency crew to come get him." Chris panted back.  Brian shook Chris
with even more fear circling his eyes.  "Is he okay?" Kevin asked from
behind his friends.  "He's still knocked out, but doctors have him
breathing properly now." Chris replied, trying to jerk away from Brian.
Justin laid a hand on Brian's shoulders and Brian pulled away from Chris.
"Please take me to him." Brian requested.  Chris nodded and escorted them
to the back area where they kept Nick.
		As they reached the dim hall that Nick was isolated on,
they saw J.C. and Joey sitting outside of the room.  Joey looked up when he
heard the soft sounds of friendly voices.  He lightly nudged J.C., but
J.C. kept his eyes upon the floor.  Joey sighed and grabbed J.C.'s hand to
comfort him.  "Joey is he..." Kevin asked softly, trying to keep J.C.'s
ears from hearing.  "He'll be fine." Joey whispered back.  Justin took a
seat next to J.C. and tried to look at his face.  "Josh?" Justin tried to
get his attention with a whisper.  When J.C. heard Justin's sweet voice, he
lifted his eyes.  "You okay?" Justin asked softly.  J.C. leaned forward and
gave Justin a sad hug.  Justin sensed J.C.'s grief and hugged him back.
"Uhm, I'm gonna go grab something to eat and then try and call Lance
again." Joey informed everyone as he stood.
		Justin rubbed his hands over J.C.'s back for ease.  Brian
looked at J.C. with utter disgust.  "Can I see him?" Brian asked Chris
lightly.  "Uh... yeah you can." Chris replied, trying to take his eyes away
from J.C. and Justin.  Chris took Brian into the room while Nikki sat in
the seat that Joey had and Kevin leaned across the wall.
		Brian looked down at his resting friend.  Brian reached his
hand out to Nick's and clasped them together.  "What.. what's wrong with
him?" Brian asked softly.  "The doctor said that a hit to the chest caused
his ribs to swell slightly and then the inflammation caused his air
passages to collapse momentarily.  Well that caused him to black out and
lose control over his breathing.  Basically, the hit knocked a lout of wind
out of him, enough to stop the proper amount of air from going to his brain
slightly.  Almost... well they said it was one step away from basically
being a stroke." Chris replied sadly.  Brian gripped Nick's hand tighter
after hearing Chris's words.  "God Frack, I'm sorry." Brian whispered, a
tear falling from his eyes.  "The doctor said that he should be awake soon
and uhm... they'll just keep him here a little while afterwards.  Then he
can go home and rest for a couple of days." Chris added.  Brian didn't
listen to many of Chris's words.  He looked down at Nick's closed eyes.
"Chris... did they say there was any chance he won't wake up?" Brian asked,
still not taking his eyes away from Nick.  Chris hated to answer Brian's
questions.  "Brian... they said there is a slight chance that he may not
wake up for days.  They believe he'll wake up tonight, but they're really
not sure." Chris gave a small reply.  Brian took the words to heart.  He
let more tears fall as he watched Nick breathed slowly.
		"Fuck, why did I leave you." Brian barked with anger.
Chris placed his hand on Brian's shoulder.  "Brian.. it's not your fault.
When Lance hit him, it was pretty much a relapse of when J.C. hit him
months ago.  This time Nick just couldn't take the force to his chest."
Chris tried to explain to Brian.  "I was with him Chris.  I should have
taken him with me when I was at the apartment so I could have gotten him
here sooner." Brian blurted back.  Chris felt for Brian's guilt.  "He'll be
fine.  Nick's had worst to deal with." Chris whispered.  "The hell he has.
All he's had is fucking stress from Lance and J.C. since day one." Brian
bitterly responded.  "Brian, please don't put this on J.C. right now.  He's
had a lot to deal with since last night." Chris requested.  Brian pulled
away from Chris and then released Nick's hand.  Brian carefully pulled back
Nick's blonde hair.  Brian leaned down to the bed and kissed the top of
Nick's head.  "I love you." Brian whispered into his ear and then backed
away.
		Brian sadly walked out of the room and the approached
Justin, J.C. and Nikki.  "Did you sleep with him?" Brian boldly asked of
J.C.  Justin looked up at Brian with disappointment.  J.C. lifted his head
to look Brian in the eyes.  "Not now Brian." Justin asked softly, still
trying to comfort J.C.  "Did you sleep with him?" Brian asked J.C. again,
ignoring his husband's words.  "Yes Brian, I slept with Nick." J.C. sighed
out.  "Did you fuck him?" Brian hissed at him.  "Brian that's none of your
business." Nikki quickly interjected.  "The hell it isn't.  I love Nick a
lot and he's lying in a hospital room because of what Lance did.  I want to
know if Lance had any reason to hit him besides the fact that he was
fucking his boyfriend." Brian snapped back to Nikki.  "So J.C., did you
take Nick's virginity?" Brian asked in anger.  Justin released J.C.'s hand
and stood from his chair.  He didn't want to hear the words that J.C. might
utter.  "Yes!  Yes I did." J.C. answered with confidence.
		Brian shook his head in shame.  He walked over to the wall
Kevin stood at and with a quick thrust, slammed his hand into the wall.
"Calm down Rok." A.J. suggested.  Brian placed his head in his hands and
tried to calm his anger.  Nikki hugged onto J.C. with shame in her friend.
"I... I gotta see him." J.C. whispered to Nikki, pulling away from their
hug.  "Do you want me to go with you?" Nikki softly asked, rubbing her hand
over J.C.'s cheek.  "Uhm, no." J.C. sniffled a reply.  He stood from his
chair and tried to collect himself.  As he did, he looked intot he window
and saw Justin standing next to Nick's bed.
		"Geez, I'm really sorry this happened to you." Justin said
quietly to Nick.  He rubbed his hand over Nick's arm and frowned.  "You
know... you're really something different Nick.  You have Brian's full
attention now.  Right now I kinda think he'd rather be married to you just
to make you happy." Justin sadly admited to the unconscious Nick.  He hated
that he was unable to argue with Nick on the situation but his sympathy for
Nick laid in the bed with Nick.  "But damn me for loving Brian so much
right?" Justin tried to joke through his pain.  "Yeah well, when this is
over, I won't really have to worry will I?  Because you've moved from Brian
to Lance and now J.C.  Could you be any more horny?" Justin tried to insult
him yet joke with him.  He still got no sign of recovery from Nick.  "Yeah
well... fuck it.  I'll always be Mr. Brian Thomas Littrell in my mind.  And
you'll always be Nick Gene Littrell in your head.  Don't you wish we could
both have him?" Justin sighed.  He ran his hand over Nick's cheek and
smiled.  "Good because I wouldn't share him with you for the world." Justin
giggled with a tear leaving his eye.  "He'll always be Frick though?  You
know?  You're right hand man.  Well except when it comes to your dick
because I'm sure your right hand does better on it's own." Justin continued
his onslaught of pain and humor.  He placed his hand on Nick's chest and
felt the heart that beat inside.  "Just don't string J.C.'s along
because... because if I know him like I think I do, you've changed
something between him and Lance that he may never get back." Justin
whispered his request.
		"Justin..." he heard a whisper.  Justin looked around the
room and saw that it was still empty.  "Justin... get your fucking hand off
my chest." he heard the voice groan.  Justin looked down and saw that
Nick's eyes were slightly open and his face was filled with pain.  "Oh
shit, I'm sorry Nickie." Justin giggled, snatching his hand away.  "If this
is Heaven, then why the hell are you here?" Nick sorely joked.  "Baby I'm
your guardian angel." Justin joked back, grabbing Nick's hand for comfort.
"Oh shit, I am in Hell." Nick tried to laug but the pain was too strong.
"Nah, you're in the hospital." Justin whispered back.  "What... what
happened?" Nick asked softly.  "From what J.C. tells me, you almost had a
stroke from a chest attack you had at the apartment." Justin gave the best
of his knowledge.  "J.C.?  Is he here?" Nick quickly asked.  "Whoa, slow
down Nickie.  He's here.  But I have to ask you something first, okay?"
Justin requested.  Nick nodded smally, grabbing onto Justin's hand.  Justin
looked down and smiled.  "Uhm, when you and J.C. had sex, was it because
you wanted to have sex with Brian so bad or was it because you wanted to
have sex with Josh?" Justin begged of an answer.  Nick looked away from
Justin, tired of being bothered with the idea.  "Please Nick, this is for
the sake of my marriage." Justin pleaded again.  "Justin, you're marriage
is safe.  Brian wasn't even on my mind when I slept with Josh.  I wanted to
be with him." Nick replied lowly.  Justin smiled with relief until he
realized the pain Lance would be suffering.  "Nick, was it sex or do
you..." Justin answered didn't have time to be given.
		"Is he awake?" he heard J.C. ask.  Nick perked up when he
heard J.C.'s voice.  Justin cursed under his breath and turned to J.C.
"Yep, this lil' faker is awake." Justin tried to joke through his
disappointment.  "Can I see him... alone?" J.C. asked, approaching the bed.
Justin looked down to Nick for an answer.  He didn't have to look long when
he saw a smile run over Nick's lips.  "Yeah yeah, you can see this little
horny boy." Justin giggled, releasing Nick's hand.  Nick quickly grasped
Justin's hand.  Justin looked at him in confusion.  Nick lightly pulled
Justin down to where he laid.  "I don't want to share Brian with you." Nick
whispered into Justin's ear.  Justin leaned back up and smiled.  "You ass."
Justin laughed before letting Nick's hand go.  Nick smiled back and let
Justin leave.
		J.C. approached closer to Nick as he heard Justin leave.
"Did you find him?" Nick asked softly, knowing that J.C.'s mind was still
on Lance.  J.C. didn't answer Nick.  He placed his hand into Nick's and
then gripped it.  "How about we make a deal?  I won't mention Lance and you
don't mention Brian." J.C. grinned.  Nick bit his lower lip with happiness.
"Then what do we talk about?" Nick coughed out his words.  J.C. looked down
at him with concern.  "We can talk about how scared I was when I saw you
lying on the floor and how much I cried when we brought you here."
J.C. suggested, the feelings he shared earlier returning.  "No... because I
don't want to see you crying." Nick disagreed, trying to keep J.C.'s
spirits up.  "Well then... maybe we should talk about us?" J.C. suggested,
letting a simple tear grace his face.  Nick nodded, still recovering from
his pains.
		J.C. took a seat on the edge of the bed, never losing eye
contact with Nick.  "Uh... what happened last night was wrong of us Nick.
It really was.  I was in the... well process of being engadged and you were
just getting over heartache.  So we kind of went to each other in a time of
need because of certain things." J.C. stated.  Nick felt the way the
conversation was going, which created a sickness inside of him.  "Josh... I
know we weren't supposed to have sex last night.  I know we were drunk, but
that doesn't mean I didn't feel anything.  I wasn't drunk this morning when
you were holding me or touching me in the shower.  I was... I was happy the
minute you put your arm around me last night." Nick confessed with his
heart open to J.C.  J.C. turned his head away slightly, trying to hide
another tear.  "I just know that you're gonna be with Lance in the end.  I
lost out, but I didn't lose out because Josh... you took my virginity and
you made it special.  You made everything I wanted happen and fuck me for
loving you because of it." Nick added, still trying to grasp J.C.'s heart.
J.C. tried to keep his eyes away but he couldn't.  He turned to look at
Nick.  "The punch I took today was well worth the memories I will have of
Joshua Scott Chasez, the one that spent a night loving Nick Carter." Nick
whispered.  J.C. was touched by Nick's honesty and his loving nature.
"Yeah... just like the memories I will have of the Nick Carter that loves
me.  The one that doesn't care what others think or say about us... the one
that just wants me to hold him." J.C. tried to control himself, but
couldn't.  His words were said freely.  Nick smiled lightly for him.
		"Well, I guess you better go find Lance.  I... I know you
want to apologize and when I'm out of here I want to do the same." Nick
coughed out his response again.  J.C. held Nick's hand tightly, comforting
him.  "No... I don't want to find him.  He uh, he took off the ring I gave
him." J.C. sadly answered.  Nick was hurt that J.C. was suffering so
greatly.  "I'm really sorry Josh.  I... I really fucked up what you two
had, but there is always a second chance.  Just ask Justin." Nick assured
him.  "Nick, what if I didn't want a second, third or tenth chance?"
J.C. asked softly.  Nick looked at him with concern.  "What if it was time
that me and Lance saw the light... we were meant to be.  No matter how much
we try, we always end up in the arms of another.  Mainly you."
J.C. explained.  "Are you saying you're breaking up with Lance?" Nick asked
with the slightest hint of happiness.  "I'm saying we're already broken
up." J.C. replied softly, rubbing his other hand over Nick's pale cheek.
		"What does that mean... I mean for like.. us?" Nick
questioned.  "I don't know right now.  We can't really have an 'us' because
of the situation right now.  It does mean that I want to make sure you get
better though." J.C. replied, still keeping his gentle side with Nick.
"I'd like that." Nick shyly said.  J.C. smiled for him.  "Well let's stop
talking about Lance then," J.C. insisted, trying to keep all of his
concentration on Nick.  Nick nodded.
		"I'm getting kind of sleepy." Nick yawned out, not wanting
to let J.C. leave yet.  "Okay, uhm, maybe I should leave?" J.C. suggested.
"I.. I really don't want you to." Nick replied.  J.C. could sense Nick's
nervousness and treated it as if it was fragile.  "Then I'll stay here.
I'll just hold your hand until you get up." J.C. whispered back.  "Okay
Joshua, thank you." Nick smiled, letting his eyes droop.  J.C. was becoming
accustom to Nick calling him by his first name.  Lance had rarely done that
to him.
		"Nickie, before you go to sleep.. I want to say... Nick, I
love you," J.C. whispered.  Nick's eyes shot back open as he tried to gaze
into J.C.'s blue eyes.  "I... I love you too Josh." Nick whimpered back.
J.C. couldn't fight his smile.  "I really love you Nick.  In my heart, I
really do and I want to get to know this side of Nick.  Okay?" J.C. asked
of him.  Nick nodded, gripping J.C.'s hand more.  "And I'd like to see this
side of Joshua Chasez, the one that actually loves me." Nick cried lightly.
J.C. wiped away a few tears from Nick's cheeks.  "I don't see how I
can't... you let me be the one to..." J.C. stopped himself.  He just needed
to stare into Nick's adoring eyes.  "I just love you Nick." J.C. finally
laughed out.  "I love you too J.C." Nick laughed along.  "Lord knows we
fought over the same man and now we're both gonna lose him." J.C. commented
with a sigh.  "I don't care about losing him or Brian.  I do care that
you're smiling." Nick softly responded.  "Yeah, it's been a long time since
I really had something to smile about.  Guess you have that effect on me?"
J.C. giggled.  "I hope I do." Nick said seriously.
		"Either that or I'm thinking about how good you are when it
comes to sex." J.C. tried to joke to make Nick laugh again.  "Fuck, you
don't know how good you are when it comes to SEX!  J.C., I've never done it
like that before, smooth, gentle and easy." Nick decided to play along.
"You better be careful Nickie.  You might just get hard and I might just
suck you here and now." J.C. whispered seductively.  "You better be careful
Joshua because I might fall HARDER... in love with you." Nick whispered
back.  J.C. loved hearing Nick say he was in love with him.  "Is that
possible?" J.C. questioned, inching closer to Nick's lips.  "Yes... when I
can call you mine, I'll be happy." Nick softly answered as he felt the heat
of J.C.'s breath.  "Then... give me time." J.C. reuqested before giving
Nick a small and careful kiss.  When J.C. backed away, Nick understood.
"As much as you need J.C.  I'm just happy you finally said it." Nick
replied.  "Said what?  That you have a good ass.  Nice and smooth and
tender and hot..." J.C. tried to play around further with Nick.  "Get out
of here J.C.!" Nick laughed, still finding pain when he laugh.  Nick
suffered to make J.C. smile.  "Okay, but don't miss me too much."
J.C. requested as he stood from the bed.  "I'll try not to." Nick goofily
responded.  "And think about how happy you made me last night." J.C. added,
giving Nick a loving stare.  Nick smiled back and lifted his arm slightly
to wave goodbye to J.C.


Just Beginning (Chapter 9)
Written by JM

		Three hours went by slowly as Nick regained consciousness
in and out.  Brian left Nick's room after his third visit that night and
stood near the doorway.  "Is he feeling better?" Joey asked Brian as he
handed Kevin and A.J. cups of coffee.  "Yeah, he says he'll be fine.  He
wants to see... wants to see J.C. though." Brian replied sharply, looking
toward J.C.  J.C. stood shyly and walked past Brian with no regrets.
		"You're gonna have to let him go." Nikki commented, resting
a hand on Brian's shoulder.  "Who?" Brian questioned softly, unsure of why
Nikki had approached him.  "Nick." Nikki replied, giving him a knowing
stare.  "He's like a little brother Nikki.  I'm just looking out for him."
Brian argued softly.  "Well Brian, you're looking a little too hard.  Nick
can handle himself." Nikki assured him.  "Yeah and that's why he's here
tonight?  Or that's why he got drunk and let J.C. fuck him last night?"
Brian bitterly questioned.  Nikki sighed lowly and hugged onto Brian.
"It's okay Brian, I know he means a lot to you.  I know you didn't want his
first time to be like that, but since I've known Josh since we were kids, I
can tell you he's not like that.  If they did sleep together, it wasn't
JUST sex.  It had to mean something because they both gave up something in
the end." Nikki tried to sympathize with Nick and J.C.  Brian decided to
hug her back out of sincere concern.  "Yeah, I can see that.  It's just
Nick was so determined to give himself to me and then he wanted Lance and
now J.C.  I don't know where his heart is at." Brian sighed with
overwhelming stress.  "Well... where is your heart at?  With him or with
your husband?" Nikki questioned, backing off of Brian.  "With Justin,
always.  I just get concerned about Frack, that's all." Brian stated
clearly.  "Well be concerned, but be with Justin." Nikki advised.  Brian
caught onto what she was saying as he looked far down the hall and saw
Justin sitting lonesome.  "Because sometimes, I know how insecure Justin
is, he really needs his husband." Nikki whispered.  Brian nodded and then
decided on his move.  "Thanks Foxy." Brian giggled, inching away from
Nikki.  "Anytime Roky.  Now go see that 'babe' of yours while I go mess
with my 'frog'." Nikki joked.  Brian agreed and left her side.
		Brian walked down the fluorescent lit hall with a straight
face.  'Okay, how do I approach him?' Brian pondered.  He felt the same
nerves that first night he spent hours waiting outside of Justin's door to
kiss him.  'Just be Brian.' Brian shrugged and then walked up to where
Justin sat.
		Justin was sitting on a small couch.  His legs were brought
up to his chest and his head was resting between them.  His arms were
wrapped around the front of his lges, holding them up on the couch.  Brian
could hear small sniffles as if Justin was crying.  The sounds brought
agony to Brian's heart.  He quickly sat down next to Justin to figure the
problem.  "Just?  Just what's wrong?" brian asked as soon as he reached the
couch.  Whe Justin heard his voice, he tried to hold in his cries.
"Not.. nothing Bri." Justin trembled out.  "Justin, you're crying." Brian
tried to coax him further.  "No, I just have a cold." Justin tried to lie
with the worst excuse he could think of.  "Please Just, tell me." Brian
requested again.  Justin lifted his head for Brian to see the tears
falling.  "It's okay Brian... just got some things on my mind." Justin
replied, quickly trying to remove the tears.  Brian tapped the end of
Justin's nose for ease.  "I'm here babe." Brian replied, placing an arm
around Justin's shoulders.  Justin nodded and then rested his head on
Brian's shoulder.
		"Can you tell me what's bugging you?" Brian whispered his
question.  "Brian... I don't want to be here." Justin sniffled out.  Brian
hugged Justin tighter.  "Why babe?" Brian asked, trying to get down into
Justin's heart.  "Because I don't want to see you fight over Nick with J.C.
I hate having to be jealous of Nick when I'm already married to you."
Justin cried.  Brian saw Justin's tears and pulled him into a hug.  Justin
rested his chin on Brian's shoulder and sadly let the tears run like a
small creek.  "Do you really feel like that?" Brian asked, still feeling
slightly shocked by Justin's feelings.  "Yes... because all Nick has to do
is get his heart broken to have you run to him." Justin pouted.  "And all
you have to do is say my name and I'll run to you." Brian reminded him.
Justin wiped away the tears and pulled away from Brian.  He returned to his
closed up state and tried to think.  "I don't want you to feel that way
Just.  Nick's a friend, I'm sorry." Brian apologized, trying to bring back
his husband.  "I'm the one who's jealous Brian." Justin sobbed back.  Brian
couldn't take the pain Justin was releasing.  He pulled on Justin and
Justin found himself sitting in Brian's lap.  "I don't care who's fault it
is.  I don't want you to feel that way... so Justin.. don't cry about it.
Nick's nothing to me anymore because he has his own problems to deal with.
I don't want our marriage ruined because of him." Brian stated, doing his
best to reach out to Justin.
		Justin looked to his husband's face before rubbing his
cheek to Brian's.  "I've never felt so green." Justin tried to joke before
sniffling.  "Well... I think you look cute that way." Brian replied.  "I
just hate being here.  We've been to the hospital so much and I'm tiring of
crying." Justin sighed, trying to hold in more tears.  "I know baby... I
know." Brian agreed.  "But Nick's no problem.  He'll never ever take the
place of you." Brian tried to reassure him.  Justin smiled despite his
tears.  "Lte's get out of here.  I told Tommy I'd meet him at the studio no
later than nine." Brian suggested, rubbing Justin's thigh.  Justin gazed to
his watch and saw it was a little past eight at night.  "Come on, I want to
get you out of this place so you'll smile again." Brian teased him.  Justin
agreed and stood from Brian's lap.
		Brian and Justin walked down the hall with Brian's hand
placed around Justin's shoulders.  "Where are ya'll going?" Joey asked as
they walked by.  "To the studio." Brian replied, keeping his walk with
Justin.  "You're just going to leave?  What about Nick?" A.J. quickly tried
to stop them.  "What about him?  He's up and he's going home soon." Brian
responded, trying to give Justin the confidence he needed.  Nikki smiled
towards Brian, feeling that he was learning to let Nick go.  "But what if
he needs you?" Kevin asked, catching a blank stare from Justin.  "He
doesn't.  He has ya'll." Brian assured him and then shrugged.
		Joey approached them with a frown.  "You're going to leave
me here with this crazy bunch?" Joey pouted, looking directly to Justin.
Brian responded by giving Joey a hug.  "Thank you so much for that gift."
Brian whispered.  Joey smiled and returned the hug.  "Anytime." Joey
laughed while hugging Brian.  Joey snatched Justin into the hug, trying to
bring their love as friends together.  "And just remember that Joey has
always been a good name for a boy." Joey joked as he ended the hug.  "Joey
eh?  Nah, too boring." Justin teased him back.  Joey lightly punched him in
the arm and then turned to Brian.  "Just remember that the name Justin is
so played out now." Joey got his revenge with a sly grin.  Brian laughed
with him.  Justin quickly elbowed Brian and then smiled to Joey.  "We've
gotta get going now." Justin insisted, tugging on Brian.  "Tell Britney we
said hi." Brian shrugged, stumbling off with Justin.
		Brian and Justin were not prepared for the onsluahgt of
press that stood outside of the hospital.  "Look!  Brian Littrell of the
Backstreet Boys and Justin Timberlake of 'N Sync!" one of the reporters
shouted.  "Mr. Littrell, is it true Nick Carter is here because of a drug
overdose?" a reporter beckoned for an answer.  "No!" Brian shouted back.
"And is it true that Nick Carter is leaving the Backstreet Boys?" another
reporter jumped in.  "That's just a rumor." Brian replied, trying to push
by with Justin.  "What about the romance between you and Mr. Timberlake?
Is it true that you two are lovers?" another reporter asked.  Brian wanted
to turn around and tell them how much he loved Justin, but he knew he
couldn't.  "Is it true that you and Mr. Timberlake have shared many
intimate moments while on tour?" another butted in.  Justin became
discouraged with the questions.
		"Excuse me, Mr. Littrell and Mr. Timberlake will not answer
anymore of your questions tonight.  If you have any further questions on
the condition of Mr. Nickolas Gene Carter of the Backstreet Boys, I will be
holding a press conference in an hour on that situation.  Otherwise, you
are to let Mr. Littrell and Mr. Timberlake leave in peace and no more
questions about their lives will be asked or I will have you slapped with a
suit for slander and endangerment of their lives." they heard a friendly
voice speak up in an angered tone.  Justin looked up to see his P.R. Bryce
standing with two bodyguards around them.  "But what about the supposed
rumors that Justin Timberlake is indeed dating Brian Littrell?" a reporter
called out.  "I guess you want to test me tonight?" Bryce arrogantly asked.
		The reporters soon backed away.  "Go to the area that Nick
is being kept on and make sure no mieda, I mean NO media gets in there."
Bryce ordered of the bodyguards.  They followed his wish and left the
outside.  "Gentlemen, walk with me." Bryce suggested with a friendly smile.
		The nicely talored blonde escorted them down the parking
lot.  His green eyes shimmered in the light of the setting sky.  "Sorry
about that guys.  I would have been here over an hour ago but those damn
people over at the Firm were not cooropertaing with me like I wanted.  So I
had to make some calls." Bryce explained to Brian and Justin.  "It's cool
Bryce.  I'm just happy you saved us from that." Justin cheered.  "Yeah
well, I was at the wedding... so that was my present.  So for the late
delivery." Bryce joked.  Brian giggled softly as he walked towards his car.
		"Uhm, your mom faxed me some info Justin about you guys
trying to adopt.  I wish you would have told me sooner about this." Bryce
expressed his concern.  Justin leaned up against Brian's BMW with a frown.
"Don't tell me you're against it." Justin sighed.  "Oh no!  I'm not.  It's
just hard covering up the fact that Justin Timberlake is now indeed Justin
Littrell.  It's also hard covering for ya'll like I did tonight.  A baby
may be even more work for me and the execs to handle." Bryce stated,
pulling his cell phone from his jacket pocket.  Brian formed a frown and
tried to look on the brighter side.  "But... I really want ya'll to have a
baby.  It'd be nice to see someone besides Chris act like a baby down at
the offices." Bryce joked.  Justin laughed lowly with him.  "So it's
possible?" Justin asked.  "If you guys can get passed this damned system
the U.S. has set up, I've got you covered." Bryce assured him.  Justin
quickly leaned in, gave Bryce a hug and then a small kiss on the cheek.
"You are such a wonderful guy!" Justin chimed.  Bryce blushed lightly and
then gazed over to Brian.  "Don't pout.  He didn't marry me." Bryce tried
to make Brian smile.  Brian gave him the smile he wanted.  "Uh, if you guys
want, I know some guys who owe me some favors.  I can make a few calls and
whatever and see if I can help you out with this?" Bryce offered.  Justin
smiled even larger at him.
		"I know you're not adopting now, but in a year or whatever,
I can make the calls and get you hooked up." Bryce confidently said.  "We'd
appreciate that alot Bryce." Brian spoke up.  "Sure, it's no problem.  Uh,
I gotta run in and make sure I cover all of this stuff and make sure the
guys are okay.  But look, Justin has the cell number and the pager number.
Or send me a fax or come down to the office and we'll talk some stuff
over." Bryce explained, trying to use his time properly.  "We'll do that."
Brian happily agreed.  "Okay, let me haul ass out of here before Lance has
me fired." Bryce giggled like a young school boy.  "Get out of here!  And
I'll make sure Lance doesn't have you fired... since we can't..." Justin
gazed over to Brian and then knew to be quiet.  Bryce gave each of them a
crooked glance.  "Since we can't have just one of us fire you." Justin
tried to cover up for his mistake.  "Uh okay." Bryce shrugged and walked
off.  Brian and Justin stepped into the BMW and Brian drove off with no
further problems.
		Tommy sat at a grand piano awaiting Brian without a patient
demeanor.  "He had better get here in ten minutes or I'm leaving." Tommy
pouted.  He looked around the emprty studio and made his wait even more
urgent.
		Brian was parked in the studio parking lot but he was
unable to get to Tommy at the moment.  "Uh... uh!  Oh Just..." Brian
grunted as his husband moved his lips up and down over his cock.  Brian was
parked in the back of the studio where it was dark and no one looked for
them.  When they had arrived, their conversation had seemed to move to how
much they needed relief.  Justin was happy to be pleasuring Brian.  He had
seen Brian ahrd occasionally during the day and knew Brian need the relief.
"God Justin!  Oh baby..." Brian groaned louder.  The sweat that trickled
down his face made it harder for him to pay attention to how careful
Justin's lips were being.
		They were sitting next to each other in the car with
Justin's head in Brian's lap.  Brian's shorts were pulled just down far
enough for Justin to get access to his hard and strong penis.  Justin's
head instinctly moved at a slow place to prolong Brian's orgasm.
		"Oh J..." Brian gasped as Justin's tongue rolled onto his
shaft.  Brian placed one hand on Justin's head while the other hand rumaged
to Justin's shorts.  Brian felt the outline of Justin's long meat and
struggled to pull his cock out.  Justin used one hand to jack Brian off
while he sucked him and the other hand helped Brian to release his meat.
		When Justin's penis was exposed to the air, Brian grasped
it and used the prec-um to jerk Justin off.  "Hmmmm..." Justin hummed while
sucking harder on Brian.  Brian smiled slightly and continued his efforts
to bring Justin off while Justin tried to bring him off.  Justin began to
roll his tongue over the rosey head that shined while Brian loosened his
grip on Justin's meat.  "Justin... oh right there baby..." Brian grunted,
feeling closer to cumming.  Justin relaxed his body when he felt Brian's
thumb rubbing over his piss slit.  "Ah!" Justin gasped before returning his
mouth to Brian's penis.
		The car rocked gently while Brian's hand picked up the pace
on Justin.  Brian was unable to finish his work as he felt his balls
constrict.  "Justin!!  Oh Yes... I'm cumming J..." Brian grunted, thrusting
his hips up and arching his back.  Justin took Brian's cock in further and
let Brian cum.  Justin almost gagged on the force of Brian's saved cum.
"Mm.. heh heh heh heh heh heh.... Justin.." Brian panted hard as his cum
slithered into Justin's mouth.
		Justin released Brian's cock and licked his lips.  He had
swallowed most of Brian's cum and left Brian's dick soft.  Brian relaxed in
the driver's seat while Justin sat up in his own seat.  "Is that legal?
For married couples to have blow jobs in the car?" Brian questioned,
keeping his eyes shut.  "Yeah.. I think it is." Justin giggled, feeling
satisfied with his work on Brian.  "I hope this is legal then." Brian
whispered.
		Before Justin knew it, he was laid back in the front seat
with Brian between his legs.  Justin's shorts were still pulled down
slightly and Brianw as jacking him off.  Brian leaned up and ran his tongue
over Justin's jaw.  Brian's other hand lifted Justin's body slightly and
then found a way to Justin's hole.  The sweat slicked Justin's body and
Brian rubbed a finger over Justin's hole.  "Mmmhhmmm, Brian..." Justin
groaned as the finger traced over his entrance.  He spread his legs even
more to let his hole open slightly.  "Hmmm babe." Brian groaned back before
letting his tongue run over Justin's ear.
		Brian's jacking was intense for Justin.  Brian slipped a
finger inside of Justin and Justin released a loud moan.  "It's okay..."
Brian whispered, moving his finger slowly in and out of Justin's small
hole.  Justin nodded and enjoyed the pleasure from every angle.  "Heh
heh..." Justin apnted as his penis came closr to orgasm.  Brian rubbed
Justin's head with the palm of his hand for more effect.  Brian leaned down
and lightly nibbled on Justin's lower lip.  "Ooh boy... I love you so..."
Brian sang loosely as he brought Justin closer.  "Brian... stop teasing
me.." Justin pleaded.  Brian smiled and began to insert a second finger
into his young husband.  "Ah ah ah!" Justin gasped out.  Brian began to
tongue Justin's lips, creating the feel of kinkiness between them.
		The windows were passed fogged and the car rocked with an
even stronger motion.  "Justin... cum..." Brian whispered.  Justin nodded
and tried to let himself go in Brian's arms.  Brian's hand reached the base
of Justin's cock before he felt the cock shoot out spurt after spurt of
cum.  "BRIAN!!!" Justin shouted as he came.  Brian's fingers were gripped
by Justin's pounding ass as Justin came.  Brian loved hearing Justin's
gasps of ecstasy as he came.  Brian kissed Justin's neck and let him
recover from the orgasm.
		Justin looked down and saw that his cum had splattered onto
his shirt.  "Fuck." Justin complained as he saw that his shirt was ruined.
Brian looked down and saw Justin's problem.  Brian slipped his fingers fom
Justin's ass and stood.  "I can fix that." Brian assured him.  Brian kissed
Justin's chin and then pulled up his own shorts.  "Just take off your shirt
and I'll be back." Brian said, grabbing a hold of the door handle.
		Brian stepped out of the car and walked to the trunk.
Justin shyly slipped out of his shirt and used it to wipe over the front
window.  'That was hot...' Justin thought as he balled up the shirt.  Brian
stepped back into the car with a small white towel and a blue Kentucky
hoody.  "Geez what do you cum ready for sex?" Justin teased him as he
grabbed the small towel.  "Actually no.  I've got my work out bag in the
trunk." Brian giggled.  He tried to fix his hair as Justin cleaned up.
"Thanks for uhm... taking the time to lick my lolipop." Brian joked.  "It
was tastey." Justin chimed as he slipped on the hoody.  "Well... your
tongue knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of my Tootsie
Pop." Brian joked and placed his hand on Justin's thigh.  Justin smiled
shyly and placed his hand on Brian's.  Brian looked to Justin's watch and
saw the time.  "Fuck!  Tommy's gonna kill me." Brian sighed.  Justin nodded
and caught onto Brian's sign.


Just Beginning (Chapter 10)
Written by JM

		Tommy stood from the grand piano and closed his music book.
'I can't believe he'd make me wait this long.' Tommy said in his head as he
prepared to leave.  "Gosh, I'm five minutes late and you're already
leaving?" Brian tried to fake an excuse as he and Justin emerged into the
recording booth.  Tommy looked at both of them with slight anger.  "Five
minutes means a lot Brian." Tommy reminded him.  "Okay, I'm sorry Tommy.
Please don't leave though.  We have to record this demo before we start on
tour rehearsals." Brian peladed with him.  Tommy gave Justin an eye and
then Brian.  "No fooling around with each other?" Tommy demanded.  Brian
nodded and raised his hand for further promise.  Justin sighed and made a
cross with his finger over his heart.  "Okay, sit down." Tommy smiled as he
took a seat behind the piano.  Brian took a seat next to Tommy on the piano
bench while Jusitn pulled a stool next to them.
		"Okay, so we're writing a song for a movie?" Tommy tried to
get the full scoop of the situation.  Justin listened in carefully.  "Yes,
Leigh Ann is in this new movie called 'It Never Happened' and she wanted me
to write a song that could possibly be the theme for it." Brian explained.
When Justin heard Brian's old girlfriend's name, he backed away from the
conversation.  "Ugh, we're not writing a song about her are we?  Because it
may go a little something like this..." Tommy joked.  He began to play the
melody to 'Square Biz' by Teena Marie.  Tommy thought of some lyrics and
then began to sing

	I'm talking scary bitch to you baby
	Scary, scary bitch
	Talking about the bitch she is
	Scary, scary bitch
	I'm talking scary bitch to you baby
	Scary bitch
	Talking 'bout the bitch, that is, that is, that is Leigh Ann

		Justin couldn't help but laugh while Brian gave Tommy an
evil smirk.  "What?  It's catchy." Tommy teased him.  "Lets just write the
song Tommy." Brian giggled.  Tommy knew that Brian wanted to write a more
serious ballad and he had discussed many songs with Brian before they met.
		"Okay, well I'll work on a melody and of course, you write
out the lyrics." Tommy advised as he began to play some tunes over the
piano.  Brian grabbed the sheet of paper from Tommy's notes and a pen.  He
listened to the soft melody and thought of the things that had happened to
him recently.  Justin watched on with amazement.
		After an hour of Tommy working out a melody, Brian setting
lyrics to the song and Justin watching both of them, Tommy and Brian were
ready to record a demo.  "I LOVE grand piano's!  We have got to get one of
these babies on the tour," Tommy commented as Brian prepared his
microphone.  "You know we can't carry that heavy thing from stop to stop in
Europe." Brian laughed as he stood with his headset.  Tommy patted to the
place where Brian had sat for Justin to sit.  Justin obliged and took a
seat next to Tommy.  "Watch your husband work miracles again." Tommy
whispered to Justin.  Justin nodded and watched Brian prepare for the song.
		"Ready?" Tommy asked as he placed his hands on the keys for
the beginning the song.  Brian looked down at the lyrics he had crafted.
He tried to think of the right note for each and how powerful to belt out
each word.  He looked up to Justin and smiled.  "Yeah, I'm ready." Brian
finally answered.  "Okay, let's get this going then." Tommy suggested.
Brian agreed and took a deep breath.  The record button was ready and all
that awaited was Brian and Tommy's song.  Justin looked at the lyrics Brian
had written down and given to Tommy as Brian had his own copy.  He read
them as Brian sang.

		Guardian Angel

		Verse One

	You're no stranger to kindness
	You've been my refuge from every storm
	Constantly taking me out of the cold
	Showing me the way to endless love
	You're there only when I need safety
	Yet I know you're always watching over me
	My every prayer met by your touch
	And one day, I'll see that we are one

		Chorus

	As my guardian angel
	You are what I want for eternity
	The one person who holds my hand
	Shows me the meaning of being a man
	The angel from just above
	I'm never lonely when I have your love
	One day we'll have something to share
	A family, my angel

		Verse Two

	I've never been able to run away
	Because you're always there behind me
	My mistakes you accept and don't turn away
	And you're are what I want in my family
	Fantasy seem to sail away
	Because you create a world in your symphony
	You're Heaven sent to help me
	To make me see that there is nothing I can't be

		Chorus

	As my guardian angel
	You are what I want for eternity
	The one person who holds my hand
	Shows me the meaning of being a man
	The angel from just above
	I'm never lonely when I have your love
	One day we'll have something to share
	A family, my angel

		Bridge

	There are times when you're scared
	There are times when you can't fight the pain
	But that is what makes you my angel
	Because your skies are never a shade of gray

	Angel...
	Angel...
	You're Heaven sent to help me
	To make me see there is nothing that we can't be

		Chorus

	As my guardian angel
	You are what I want for eternity
	The one person who holds my hand
	Shows me the meaning of being a man
	The angel from just above
	I'm never lonely when I have your love
	One day we'll have something to share
	A family, my angel

	You and me
	Family
	You will see
	As my guardian Angel
	My babe...

		Brian took a deep sigh as he finished the smooth song.  He
opened his eyes and looked over to Tommy.  Tommy was smiling brightly at
him.  "Well?" Brian questioned.  "Damn it Brian, do you ever mess up?  I've
never worked with an anrtist who could get through a whole song without
messing up." Tommy teased him.  Brian gave him a small smile, wanting more
of a response.  "It's a beautiful song though.  I still like the 'Scary
Bitch' song, but I'm sure Teena Marie would like this better." Tommy
laughed.  Brian was pleased with Tommy's approval and then looked at
Justin.
		Justin's eyes were still locked on the paper, reviewing the
lyrics again.  "You didn't like it?" Brian asked.  Tommy nudged Brian's
husband to grab his attention.  Justin looked up to Brian and smiled.  "For
me?" Justin asked with curiosity.  "Actually, it's for two people." Brian
responded.  Justin wanted more of an answer from Brian.
		Brian placed his headset on the riser and grabbed his lyric
sheet.  He walked over to the piano bench and gave Tommy a signal to stand.
Tommy gave Brian a funny face before standing.  "Uhm, I had better rewind
the track and get it ready to be shipped off to Jive." Tommy giggled,
looking right at Brian.  'Thanks' Brian mouth and then sat down next to
Justin.
		"So, can I ask who the two people are?" Justin questioned.
Brian gave him a smile and then let Justin ponder it out.  "Leigh Ann and
Nick?" Justin decided to fire at Brian.  Brian pouted slightly and turned
to the piano.  He tried to remember the keys that Tommy hit while playing
and tried to connect with them.  "Nope, not Nick and Leigh Ann.  I wrote it
for Justin Littrell and Angel Littrell." Brian replied as he worked the
piano.  Justin inched closer to Brian with wonder.  "Me and who?" Justin
pondered.  Brian stopped his melody and then looked at Justin.  "I wrote it
for my husband and my son." Brian replied happily.  Justin's eyes glittered
wuth joy.  "Me and..." Justin was still in shock as he stuttered out his
words.  "You and our son, Angel." Brian replied again.  Justin's smile
refused to fade from his lips.  Brian ran a hand over Justin's hair and
then his ear.  "Angel?" Justin asked, locked in Brian's eyes.  "Well I
thought about how you were like my guardian angel today and that's why I
named the song 'Guardian Angel', but then I also thought about when we do
have a child how he'll be like an 'angel' for us.  Something we can look to
for hope." Brian spoke clearly and with his country pride.  "He?" Justin
was still caught up in questions.  "If it's a girl, we can name her Angel
too.  I just wanted you to know that we are adopting a baby Justin, I'm
hoping like a year from today or something, but it's never too early to
think about it." Brian explained.
		Justin was in awe with Brian.  "We've got a lot of support
so far and I thought a name like Angel Thomas Littrell or Angel Just
Littrell might work." Brian added on, his cute accent losing its thickness.
Justin put his hand on Brian's and hushed him.  "You don't have to say no
more Brian.  I love the idea." Justin chimed softly.  Justin leaned forward
and kissed Brian softly on the lips.  Brian became serious as he lightly
returned the kiss.
		"Uhm, studio is closing soon." Tommy tried to interupt them
easily.  Brian pulled away with disappointment.  "But I heard there's a
place in orlando that's open all night to kissing and that type of stuff.
I think it's called the Littrell's?  Been there before?" Tommy joked as he
began to gather his things.  "Oh yeah... every night." Justin played along.
"Good, then grab some condoms and get out of here!" Tommy laughed, getting
his music sheet.  Brian laughed along and stood from the piano bench.  "Oh
and next time you write a song, don't name your baby after it!  Otherwise
we'll be writing songs every type ya'll want to adopt." Tommy nudged Brian
with laughter.  "Just for that, you'll never be a God father." Brian
giggled.  Justin stood with a smile.  "If you ever need a favor..." Tommy
mimicked that of the famous movie.  Brian groaned loudly and walked Justin
from the studio.  "Thank you Tommy!" Brian and Justin shouted
simultaneously to Tommy as they walked out.
		The rest of the night was peaceful for Brian and Justi at
their home.  Justin had made sure to unplug each phone that he could get to
so that they were not interupted by friends.  Justin was now sleep in the
bed with Brian.  It had been an hour since Brian had made love to him for
the first time in Brian's bed.  Justin was still savoring the feel of
Brian's soft body ontop of his.
		Now Brian was laid next to Justin, snuggling to Justin's
chest as Justin ran a hand through Brian's hair.  Brian was sleep while
Justin seemed to be fighting the sleep to admire Brian.  'When he said
anyway he wanted... I didn't think he meant for three hours.  Oh, I'm still
a little sore from that...' Justin giggled to himself.  It was true that it
was the longest love making experience the two had pleasured from.  Yet
Brian's gentle strokes and Justin's soft cries were enough for them to hold
out for three hours of sex.  'And wow... when he came..' Justin was lost in
his perverted thoughts.  'Guess I got the right husband... soft, gentle and
lasting.' Justin finally agreed to himself.  He closed his eyes and tried
to sleep while lying on the pillow.  The coveres were thrown form their
naked bodies, so they used each other for warmth.
		'I'm sooooo drunk... I wonder why me and Nick haven't
passed out yet.  What's Justin talking about?  Nick doesn't want to sleep
with me... he just wants to talk... yeah, Nick just wants to talk to me.
God, I wish Nick and Justin would stop fucking arguing.  I feel like
passing out in a second... nah, I'll be okay.  I don't know why Justin
won't go to bed... Nick just wants to talk.  Justin's acting like a little
kid.  Wait, did Nick say he wanted to fuck me?  No, Nick wouldn't say
that... he just drunk like me.  I don't want Justin to control me.  Why is
he being like this?  He knows I love him... you look so cute Justin.  Oh,
why?  Wait, think Brian.  You're a man, you can... you can go in
there... fuck I'm gonna be sick... no, I'm cool.  Oh wait, oh Nick that
feels good... mmmm, maybe... hell no.  I won't fuck Nick.  I'm gonna marry
Justin.. that's the end of that.  Just back off Justin... I can handle
myself.  Man, he's so uptight... Nick's easy.  But I... I like Justin the
way he is... he's so innocent and Nick sure isn't innocent.  Wait, why is
Justin all on my case?  Fuck!  I gotta go.. Justin's gotta understand.
Man, my wrist hurts when I feel with Nick... just turn around and leave
Brian... Justin will be fine.  Oh shit!  Oh my fucking Lord what the hell
is wrong with me?  Oh no Justin... I just fucking hit Justin... oh no,
please Justin... I have to go.  I can't look at him after what I just did.
What the hell is wrong with me?  I didn't mean to hit him... my wrist was
hurting and I was just trying to shake aay the pain and I... I hit the man
I love.' the thoughts were jumbled and scattered through a delusion.  The
labyrinth that traced Brian's thoughts to that night left Brian in a state
of astonishment.  He was reliving a night that scared his heart.
		"AH!" Brian screamed as his upper body popped up from
Justin's embrace.  The small drops of sweat slicked down Brian's face.
"Brian?" Justin asked with fear.  Brian quickly pulled out of the bed and
stood up straight.  He looked back at Justin and shook his head.  "Brian
what's wrong?" Justin urgently asked.  "Just... just stay away from me
right now okay... I.. I gotta think." Brian requested with a trembling
voice.  "But Brian what is it?" Justin asked, quickly standing from the
bed.  "Justin please... just give me a minute." Brian barked out his
request, still shaking from his nightmare.  Justin backed away in fear.  It
was the same fear that Brian saw in Justin's eyes the night he hit him.
"I'm... I'm sorry Justin..." Brian began to cry.  Faster than his heart
could beat, Brian ran out of their room with hurt.  Justin fell back on the
bed and ran his hands through his hair.  He began to cry without his own
knowledge.  'What did I do?' Justin cried as he thought.
		Justin shyly walked down the steps in search of Brian.  The
dark house did not make it easy for him to seek and find his husband.  He
found his way to the shadowy kitchen and looked around.  'He's not in here
either.' Justin sighed to himself, still letting tears fall freely down his
face.  'Fuck.' Justin bitched to himself.  He couldn't understand what had
scared Brian and angered him so much that he had ran out on Justin.  Justin
was only wearing the Armani, navy blue shirt that Brian had been wearing
that day.  He could still smell the scent of Brian's cologne in the shirt
as he walked to the counter.
		Justin took his usual seat on the counter, letting the cold
counter create goosbumps on Justin's body.  His naked lower half adjusted
to the cool counter as Justin sat in the dark.  His sniffles were soft and
his eyes had stopped their tears.
		Justin heard Brian's light foot steps as he emerged from
the den.  Justin watched Brian's naked body walk into the kitchen.  Brian
listened to Justin's light sniffles and turned to his left.  He saw Justin
sitting on the counter, trying to be obsolete.  Brian took a swallow and
then approached Justin.  When Justin saw Brian approaching, he trembled
slightly.  Brian reached Justin's knees and pulled Justin's legs to his
chest.  "I'm sorry.." Brian whispered, sensing Justin's fear.  "Brian.. I
don't know what's wrong." Justin replied.  Brian was scared to tell Justin
what had happened in his nightmare.  The fear was ever growing as he looked
up and into Justin's eyes.  "I had a nightmare about the night I hit you
Justin." Brian explained softly.  Justin knew Brian's pain when he heard of
what had shaken him so greatly.  "I was reliving the whole thing in my
dream... I didn't want you to touch me because... because of what I did to
you." Brian added on with shaking words.  "I'm still adjusting to
it... because the guilt is always going to be there." Brian tried to
further his explaination.  Justin listened as Brian poured out his heart to
him.  "I'm scared that if it ever happened again... that I couldn't take
seeing the pain in your eyes like I do now." Brian cried.  He released
Justin's legs and stepped away from Justin.  "Because I don't want to be
married to a husband that is scared of me." Brian stumbled his words with
his tears.
		When Justin saw that Brian was slipping away, he stood from
the counter.  He walked over to Brian and tried to hug him.
"Justin... please... I don't want your pity." Brian replied to Justin's
gesture and then pulled away.  "It's not pity.  It's me." Justin reassured
him, holding onto Brian.  "You can't love me after what I did." Brian
sobbed, returning the hug.  "If I didn't love Brian Littrell, I wouldn't
have married him." Justin replied, growing weak with Brian's tears.  Brian
just held onto Justin and clamed his mind.  "It was just a
nightmare... it's not reality." Justin whispered, rubbing his hand over
Brian's head.  "It was reality." Brian replied, nuzzling his head to
Justin's shoulder.  "Yes, it was reality.  Not anymore because you're
sober... you're careful... and you have me and always will." Justin did his
best to give Brian the words he needed.  Brian felt in his heart many times
that he didn't deserve Justin, but Justin changed his mind just by showing
him they both made their mistakes.
		"Justin... uhm, can we forget all of this happened
tonight?" Brian requested as he backed away from the hug.  Justin gave him
an unsure glance.  "For now I mean..." Brian asked.  Justin nodded.
"Okay.." Brian was thankful.
		Brian placed his hands on Justin's hips and lifted him.
Justin felt Brian carry him to the kitchen table and Justin too a seat on
the table.  Brian crawled onto Justin's lap and began to massage his penis.
"Brian... what..." Justin was becoming stimulated by Brian's hand.  "For
now... please..." Brian requested, getting Justin completely erect.  "But
for what?  So we can have sex?" Justin asked, trying to pull Brian's hand
away.  "No, so you can hold me while I let you make love to me here and
now.  Because I want us to show each other that we're not scared to be with
each other and we're not going to end this.  I'm jealous when I don't have
you holding me Justin.  Now... please for now.." Brian confessed in his
heartly tone.  Justin didn't know what to think of Brian's actions until he
heard Brian speak.  "Because we have nothing but each other and there
shouldn't be fear." Brian added softly.  Justin released Brian's hand and
then placed his arms around Brian's back.  Brian smiled and leaned forward.
		He let Justin slide inside of him and then he gasped
loudly.  "Are you..." Brian stopped Justin as he let more of Justin's long
penis go inside of him.  "Ssshhh" Brian whispered as more and more of
Justin went inside.  Justin closed his eyes and began to nibble Brian's
ear.  "I love you." Justin whispered before Brian began to raise his body
up and down on Justin.  Brian nodded and hugged closely to Justin.  The
grunts and moans rocked the table as they made love with time.
		"Well, we're here." J.C. sighed as he walked Nick into his
apartment.  "Thank you for letting me stay here." Nick said as he walked
inside.  "Well I figured it'd be a waste of time to drive all the way out
to Tampa this time of night... plus I didn't want you to be alone."
J.C. stated, leaving the lights out in the apartment.  "Chris doesn't
mind?" Nick questioned as he walked inside.  "I don't know.  He said he was
gonna stay at Joey's tonight." J.C. shrugged, throwin his keys on the
counter in the kitchen.  "Uhm, okay." Nick shrugged and then ran a hand
through his hair.
		J.C. watched Nick yawn and then look around.  "You should
get some sleep." J.C. advised as he walked into the living room.  "Okay,
uh, I'll crash on the couch." Nick agreed.  "No... you can sleep in my
bed." J.C. replied to Nick's suggestion.  Nick smiled happily at the
thought.  "I'll sleep on the couch." J.C. added, making Nick's smile fade.
"I don't want to put you out of your room." Nick pouted.  "You're not
Nickie." J.C. assured him, taking a seat on the couch.  Nick looked down at
J.C. and gave up his attempt.  "Er, okay.  Then I'm gonna go to sleep."
Nick tried to grasp J.C.'s attention.  J.C. slouched ontot he couch and
nodded.  "Goodnight Josh." Nick sadly whispered and then walked out of the
living room.  "Night baby." J.C. whispered back, not letting Nick hear him.
		The ngiht slipped further on as J.C. slept on the couch
with just his boxers on.  He was slightly uncomfortable, but he didn't
mind.  He let Nick sleep in the bed that he had made love to him in the
night before.  J.C. was awaken however by the couch of Nick's hand to his
crotch.  J.C. blinked his eyes open and saw Nick beginning to crawl ontop
of him.  "Nick... Nickie what are you doing?" J.C. quickly asked, stopping
Nick's movements.  "Josh... I was lonely and you said you didn't want me to
be lonely." Nick said, resting his head on J.C.'s shoulder.  "I didn't mean
that we could sleep together." J.C. whispered back, trying to nudge Nick
away.  "But... I want you to hold me like you did last night." Nick sadly
answered.  "Nickie, I need time.  I just lost Lance and I can't just sleep
with you to make me forget about him." J.C. tried to explain to him.  Nick
rubbed his hand over J.C.'s nipple and then backed off of him.  "Okay
Joshua.  I'm really sorry." Nick finally understood.
		They both sat up on the couch, caught up in thoughts.
J.C. looked at Nick's suffering eyes and frowned.  He wrapped an arm around
Nick's shoulders and held him for a moment.  "I just need a little time to
deal with this." J.C. tried to explain.  Nick nodded and then nuzzled his
head to J.C.'s shoulder.  "Now go back to my bed and sleep.  You're still a
little sore." J.C. advised.  Nick nodded again.  Before he stood from the
couch and leaned in J.C.'s direction.  He gave J.C. a small kiss on the
cheek and then ran his tongue over J.C.'s earlobe.  "I want you to know
that I really love you Josh... so when you're ready, I'm ready." Nick
whispered as he retracted his tongue.  J.C. was slightly turned on by the
thouch of having sex with Nick on the couch, but he ended his thoughts
quickly.  "Okay Nick." J.C. responded and released Nick.
		Nick stood from the couch and began waking back to the
bedroom.  'Josh...' was the only word flying through Nick's head as he
walked back to J.C.'s bed.  Nick was nude as he stepped into the bed and
pulled the covers over his body.  'Just sleep Nick..' Nick tried to clam
himself as he rested his head to the pillow.  He ended his thoughts of how
J.C. made love to him in the bed and rested his eyes.
		Nick felt a warm hand running over his shoulder and then he
felt the covers being pulled back.  "Don't move Nickie." J.C. whispered as
he rubbed Nick's body.  Nick nodded and stayed still for J.C.  Nick felt a
hard penis rubbing against his ass and he gasped.  "I'm not here to make
love to you Nick." J.C. whispered, hugging onto Nick.  "Then why are you
here?" Nick groaned a reply.  "To tell you I love you too." J.C. answered,
kissing Nick's exposed shoulder.  "Josh... I love you so much." Nick felt
the tears in his eyes as he thought of his love for J.C.  "I know you do.
That's why... I know I just lost Lance, but I think that was meant to
happen.  So I don't need time, I need you." J.C. did his best to explain
his heart-filled feelings.  Nick wanted to turn around and look at J.C. but
stayed as J.C. wanted.
		J.C. began to lightly rub his cock over the outside of
Nick's ass.  "Joshua..." Nick couldn't fight his need.  "I'm here to say
I'll be your 'baby' Nick.  I want you to be my boyfriend, to be with me in
front of everyone.  I want to be more than just Nick and J.C. in bed.  I
want it to be 'us'." J.C. said softly.  Nick's heart ewas beating with
extreme satisfaction.  "J.C., I want to be yours too." Nick added.
		J.C. smiled and let Nick turn to face him.  "You mean it
right?" Nick asked.  J.C. rubbed a finger from Nick's chin, down his
defined chest, across his belly and then to his hardening penis.  "There's
one thing you've got to learn about me Nickie.  I have no reason to lie to
you." J.C. whispered.  Nick became lost in his happiness.  "But we're not
moving too fast for you are we?  Because I don't want this to be another
J.C. and..." Nick quickly hushed him.  "Don't say his name.  Let's just be
Nick and Josh, lovers in all areas." Nick suggested with his innoncent and
care voice.  J.C. nodded and grasped Nick's penis.
		He used both of his hands to jack Nick and himself off.
Their cocks ran over each other as J.C. tried to bring them to orgasm.  'He
said no sex..' Nick pondered.  "Be my baby." J.C. requested, leaning
towards Nick's chest.  Nick ran his hands over J.C.'s hair and groaned.
J.C. nuzzled his head to Nick's chest and felt himself slipping closer.
"OH yeah!" Nick grunted out loudly.  J.C. made the bed rock with his fast
hands.  "Mmmmm Nickie..." J.C. hummed before beginning to suck on Nick's
chest.  Nick let J.C. place a hickey on him, yet controlled his heavy
beathing.  "Heh heh, Josh... oh yeah, right there..." Nick groaned back
towards him.  J.C. tried to bring them closer with rubbing their heads to
their shafts.
		They felt the same pleasure that Brian and Justin felt as
Brian continued to ride Justin's cock.  Their moments of sexual pleasure
were similiar, each of them being with the ones they loved when they
needed. Nick and J.C.'s trance was forgotten as Nick and J.C. thought of
commiting themselves to each other.  Brian was caught up in his attraction
for Justin as Justin was in Heaven because of his love for Brian.  It was
enough to bring each of them to full orgasm, thinking of how they could
start over in their love.
		Nick rested while holding onto J.C.  He was slowly falling
asleep while J.C. stayed awake.  Nick was nuzzled to Nick's chest, feeling
it rise and fall.  His hands were running over Nick's legs while Nick's
hands rubbed J.C.'s back.  "Mmmm..." Nick moaned as he felt J.C.'s hand
rubbing his belly.  J.C. caressed the smooth skin and the small trail of
sandy brown hair that led to Nick's limp penis.  "Sleep tight Nickolas."
J.C. whispered, calling Nick by his full name for the first time.  "Night
J.C." Nick replied softly, falling into his exhaustion.  He held his
boyfriend tight through their sleep.
		Justin was fortunate to have carried Brian to the couch in
the living room so that they may be able to sleep.  Justin was holding
Brian tightly as Brian slept in Justin's arms again.  The warmth of their
bodies and the shirt Justin was wearing was enough for them.  "There's
nothing to be scared of." Justin felt compelled to whisper while running
his hand over Brian's hair.  Justin smiled when he saw Brian was at ease
with him.  "I'm not scared anymore Justin..." he heard Brian's soft reply.
Justin giggled softly and kissed the tip of Brian's nose.  "Good night
Brian." Justin whispered before closing his eyes.  "Good night
Mr. Littrell." Brian replied, keeping his eyes shut.
		The moon over Orlando had a special meaning for many
couples, but in the end, it brough Nick and J.C. and Brian and Justin
closer to each other for Nick and J.C. as lovers, as friends, and for Brian
and Justin as husbands and as soul mates.  Each taking that night to get to
know their loved one physically and emotionally.

				TO BE CONTINUED...

*** Do I work fast or what?!  LOL.  Well who knows if I'll be able to keep
this pace up but I am liking what I'm writing and I hope you do too.  I
have about five LONG e-mails to answer, so if I haven't gotten to you yet,
I am working on it.  Have no fear!  LOL.  The e-mails have been so nice and
great that I like to take my time responding.  So you can see... life has
many good aspects, just enjoy what you receive.  I know I'm forgetting to
thank someone.  So if I said I was going to thank you, here's your THANK
YOU!!!  I'm sorry if I can't remember, but I've been hard at work writing.
So until next time, you know where to reach me... ***

** As always on my special notes, I hope I don't get problems now that I
have created J.C. and Nick as a couple.  This is just the start of the
series, so everyone else will have their day in the light.  Trust me, it's
coming.  Also, towards the adoption issue, I have gotten good and bad
reviews on that.  All I can say is don't write me saying it's not wise for
Brian and Justin t adopt now because they are FAR from that now.  So don't
bother saying that.  I just wanted people's opnions for further reference.
There is no telling if it'll ever happen, but I do respect my readers
enough to see what you think about the idea.  I hope everyone respects me
and doesn't give me hell about it otherwise.  So smile and be happy!!!
Also, to those truly dedicated fans that I have, has Brian and Justin's
relationship become boring?  I have gotten a few, and I do mean FEW mails
suggesting that they have.  So I want to know from the dedicated readers
where am I going wrong with Brian and Justin.  If there is no problem, I'd
like to know too so I can tell those people who have mentioned it how you
and I feel about it.  Thank you so much and please, I have seen some very
depressed people on the net and I HATE that.  So no matter what, find
something to special about from day to day.  Even if it's just the fact
that you woke up in the morning, you have a lot more than some do.  Love ya
all!  **

* My prayers are with the Kennedy family for another lose in a historical
family.  I am sorry there lives have been hit with another tragedy in words
because no family should suffer the lose of family in tragedy.  Keep your
heads high... *