Date: Thu, 08 Jun 2000 21:37:17 EDT
From: D LS <dls_stories@hotmail.com>
Subject: Brian & Me Parts 104-106

Hey everyone. :)

Here's the next ones for your enjoyment (hopefully).  My apologies to those
of you who found the last one a little long.  I didn't originally intend for
them to be all together, so it got longer than I would have liked.

Thanks to everyone who has been emailing about this story and my other one,
"I'll Never Stop".  I know that there are a *lot* of you waiting for emails
from me, and I promise to get back to you, but it's going to take a little
bit of time.  I was away from the computer for several days, and now there's
a pretty sizable pile of replies waiting.  So, don't get testy with me,
please. :)

Another thing:  After this installment, it's likely going to be a couple of
weeks before the next one comes out.  As a matter of fact, I'm going to aim
for two weeks exactly.  With B&M, INS, other writing, and all those emails,
I need some time to get it all in.  Of course, this means that in 8 days,
I'll be hearing from those of you who skip the taglines, but at least I'll
know who you are then. ;P

Big thanks once more to Matt and Scotty for looking this one over before I
sent it in.  I'm not saying that I listened to either one of them all that
much, but I might have.  They're the only ones who'll know, right?  Right.
Anyway, thanks to you both. :)

Blah blah blah... story's fictional, and not meant to in any way represent
anyone mentioned, particularly any members of any music groups.  Blah blah
blah, don't read this if you shouldn't go ahead if you're allowed and want
to.

As usual, there is an html version of this installment, and all of the
previous ones, on my website, located at:

dls-stories.homepage.com

Also posted tonight on the site is part four of my new story, 'I'll Never
Stop'.  Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to email and let me know
what they think of either story, and the webpage in general.

Enough from me.  Enjoy! :)


	Part 104

	I didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but I tried to lay without moving too
much, not wanting to wake Brian.  Finally, realising that I was finished for
the night, I slid out from under the sheets and made my way quietly out into
the hall, pausing only to grab a t-shirt from the chair in the corner.

	I slipped the shirt on as I walked downstairs.  I went straight to the
kitchen and started the coffee pot, then went into the living room to wait
for it to finish.  I briefly considered getting another album out of the
box, but there was really only one that I was interested in at the moment,
and it was on the couch in front of the fireplace.

	So, that's where I wound up.  I picked the album up and flipped through it
without really studying the pictures.  I was still amased that my mother had
kept up my album, even after she had stopped ordering pictures through the
school.

	The coffee maker beeped, and I carried the album into the kitchen to get a
cup.  As I poured, I decided to sit out on the deck and drink it.  Realising
that I was in very few clothes, I grabbed a blanket out of the hall closet
and took it with me.  Throwing it around my shoulders and gathering it
together at the front, I sat in one of the deck chairs and looked out over
the lake.

	It was still and calm, with a level of mist hanging just above the surface
of the water, rising slowly before swirling in on itself.  After a few
minutes, I pulled my gaze away from the lake and back to the album that I
had sitting in my lap.

	This time, I studied each picture.  Particularly those that came after my
grade nine photos.  Many of them I remembered, but I strained my mind trying
to come up with dates and settings for some of them.  One thing that seemed
clear from most of those was that I hadn't known my picture was being taken.
  Many were just of me, and many were of my father and I.  A few included my
mother, but I remembered all of those being taken, either by my grandmother
or by my Aunt Karen.

	One thing became abundantly clear.  My mother hadn't just written me off
after my suicide attempt, as I had always thought.  She hadn't known how to
deal with me as I was, so she had set out to remember and record me as I had
been.  As she wished I still was.  And, after her death, I had locked that
attempt in a cold, impersonal storage space rather than keep it close to me.

	I sighed and turned the page, pausing to take a sip of my coffee, which by
now was starting to get cold.

	"Hey."

	I jumped and looked up to find Brian standing at the door, wearing just his
boxers.  "Hey, what are you doing up?"

	"Waiting for you to come back," he smiled, coming over to me.  "You okay?
You look..." his mind searched for the right word.  "Distraught."

	I nodded.  "I'm okay.  Just feeling a little guilty, I guess."

	Brian squeezed between me and the back of my deck chair, pulling the
blanket around us both.  "You don't have anything to feel guilty about."

	"Come on, Brian.  She took the time and effort to keep this, and to try to
preserve the best part of me and our family, and I just chucked it into a
box and threw it out."

	"You didn't know."

	"I should have."

	"No, you shouldn't.  This was your mother's.  She knew you'd likely never
see it, since you never looked through the albums.  Particularly this one.
She knew that if you were going to know about it, she would have to tell
you."

	"I feel like I betrayed her, though.  Like she made the effort to record
the best of me, and I forgot all of her.  Both of them."

	Brian's arms squeezed me as he kissed my neck.  "Sweetie, don't take this
the wrong way, but that's complete bullshit."

	I jumped a bit in his embrace upon hearing his words.

	"*You* are the best part of both of your parents," he elaborated.  "There's
no way you forgot it.  You *are* it.  And you didn't forget them anyway.
It's no accident that you wrote Sarah's character into the book, you know.
You were remembering her without realising it, and you were remembering her
in the most intimate way you could.  You were bringing her back to life, and
sharing her with the world.  If that's not paying tribute to her memory, I
don't know what is."

	"But she made an effort.  I wasn't trying to do it.  There's something to
that.  I didn't go through what she must have with those pictures.  It must
have ripped her heart out every time she looked at them or added another one
to the album.  She made such an effort, and I did nothing."  My eyes had
turned back out to the lake, but my gaze was definitely turned inward, and I
didn't particularly like what I was seeing.

	"Again, that's total crap.  Look at what you just went through with your
past and your parents."

	"And I went through all of that because I didn't make enough of an effort
to remember them.  It came back to kick me in the ass."

	"No, you went through all of that because you're too hard on yourself.  You
always are."

	"You know what I did to them."

	Brian sighed and pulled me back against him.  "I know what you did to
yourself.  And I know what they did to you."

	"They didn't do anything."

	"Didn't they?  Think of the relief you would have felt if your mother had
shown you this album while she was still alive.  Think about how good it
would have felt if, just once, one of your parents had thought to hug you
and tell you that they loved you.  You don't seem to realise that they
pulled away from you too, Nate."

	"I pushed them away."

	"That doesn't mean that they should have gone."

	It was my turn to sigh.  I knew arguing with Brian wouldn't do any good.
As always, he was determined to be the voice of reason.  Rather than
respond, I just lay back against him and pulled the blanket around us
tighter.

	"Maybe going looking for those photo albums wasn't such a good idea," Brian
whispered.

	"No, it was.  I just got more than I expected.  It's going to take some
time to get used to this."

	"Then take some time, but stop beating yourself up about it.  For me?"

	I smiled at that, as he no doubt knew I would.  "I'll try.  For you."

	"Good.  Now, I'm going to go back to bed.  It's too early to be thinking.
You coming?"

	"I think so," I nodded.

	Brian got up first, pulling the blanket with him.  I gathered my cup and
the album and followed him back inside.  Putting them both on the counter
between the living room and the kitchen, I took his hand and let him lead me
back upstairs.

	Brian drifted off again almost immediately, his head on my chest.  It took
me a little longer, but I did manage to get to sleep eventually.



	I grinned when I woke up.  Rather than move closer to me, as he usually
did, Brian had rolled away from me in his sleep, lying spread-eagle on his
back instead.  While that was enough to get me smiling, the thought that
occurred to me was even more incentive.  I chuckled to myself, then slipped
out of bed and grabbed my computer bag.  Once I was done, I pulled on a pair
of shorts and a t-shirt and went back downstairs, computer in hand.

	Settling on the couch in front of the TV, I turned on the TV while I waited
for my computer to start.  Flipping through the channels, I settled on
MuchMusic, then opened my word processor and got down to business.

	I was still clicking away when Nick showed up, sitting down beside me and
staring at the screen.  After a few seconds, he got back up and headed for
the kitchen.

	"Tea's in the cupboard above and to the right of the sink," I said, not
looking up from the monitor.  I was what a cooler person than me might call
'in the zone', and my fingers didn't even slow down when I spoke.

	Nick mumbled a thanks, then I heard the two-way door flip back and forth as
he entered the kitchen.   I sped up my typing, trying to get what was in my
head out onto the screen as quickly as possible so that I wouldn't be
ignoring Nick when he got back.

	I was almost done when he dropped back onto the couch, more carefully this
time, since he had a mug in his hand.  "Just a sec," I told him, holding up
one finger.  I added the last few words that I wanted to get down, then did
my nextnote and saved the file.  Checking the box at the bottom of the
screen, I saw that I had managed to get about ten pages written.

	With a smile, I shut the computer down, knowing instinctively that I would
be back at it before long.  It felt like one of those days that, if I didn't
spend it in front of the computer, my head might very well explode.

	I put the computer on the coffee table and turned a little in my seat to
look at Nick.  "Good morning," I said brightly.

	"Well aren't we chipper?" Nick said with a smile.  "Must have gotten some
last night."

	"Oh yeah," I said dramatically.  "After I got done my little breakdown on
the couch, I was really in the mood."

	"Then why the mood?"

	"Dunno," I shrugged.  "I got a good bit of writing done, and I managed to
pay Brian back for something."

	Nick's grin expanded.  "What did you do?"

	"I'm sure you'll see."

	"See what?"  We both turned to see Erron making his way down the stairs.

	"Me naked," I told him with a smile.

	"Who hasn't?"

	"You haven't," I told him.  "Unless you've been peeking."

	"Well, neither has Nick!"

	"Sure I have."  Nick could have lit the room with his smile.  "Not only
naked, but naked and wet."

	"Oh please.  If you didn't have better things on your mind then than
checking me out, there's something wrong with your head."

	"I didn't say I was checking you out, but I did see you naked.  Which puts
me one up on Erron."  He gave Erron a smug look.

	"Whatever," Erron countered.  "I'd be willing to bet that I've slept with
him more times than you have."

	"I've been in his bed a couple of times myself."

	"Can we change the subject?" I asked, noting the curious expression on
Erron's face.

	"*Plus*, I've seen all of the Backstreet Boys naked too," Nick continued,
determined to win this little contest.  "What about you?"

	Nick seemed a little too into the competition, and it came through in his
voice.  I gave him a quick glance, hoping that he caught on, and noticed a
weird look from Erron too.  If Nick wasn't careful, he was going to push the
topic just a little too far.

	Erron, still giving both of us an odd look, capitulated and headed for the
kitchen, shaking his head.

	"A bit too far, right?" Nick whispered.

	"Just a bit.  Erron's a bright boy.  The wheels are turning already.  Add
that to his wishful thinking, and you might have some questions to answer."

	"You really think he'd just ask me like that?"

	"No, he'd ask me."

	"And what would you tell him?"

	"I'd tell him to ask you," I smiled.  "So, you better have some sort of
answer ready, because much more of that, and he's likely to put two and two
together, or at least start wondering rather than hoping."

	Nick leaned back on the couch and brought his knees up, putting his arms
around them.  "Maybe I want him to wonder."

	"Maybe you do," I conceded.  "It's easier to let someone ask you if it's
true than it is to tell them yourself.  If they ask, you just have to say
yes.  Failing that, you could nod."

	"I don't know what I'm going to do."

	"Just play it by ear.  Remember, if you do tell him, and you're straight
with him - pardon the expression - he's safe, Nicky.  Even if he's not
interested, though that's inconceivable, he won't tell a soul."

	Nick nodded, but he didn't speak.  I decided to let him alone with his
thoughts, and turned my attention back to the TV, which was turned down, but
still audible.

	Erron had just come back into the room and sat down on the chair to Nick's
right when the peaceful feel of the morning was broken.

	"NATE!"

	I started to laugh, and turned to look at Nick and Erron.  "Sounds like
you're about to see what I was talking about."  They both smiled and we all
turned our attention to the stairway, expecting Brian to appear.  In a
moment he did, staring intently at me.  "You wanted something, pookie?" I
asked sweetly.

	"Your head on a plate for starters."

	"You asked, I merely made it happen.  It's my job to make all your wishes
come true."  I was laying it on thick, trying to get the smile that he was
holding back to come through.

	It worked.  Brian's facial muscles worked briefly, then he gave up and
laughed.  "You're a dead man."

	"Then that autograph should be worth more, right?"

	"What autograph?" Nick and Erron asked at the same time.

	Brian worked on scowling at me as he lifted his shirt.  'Nathaniel Healy'
was clearly written across his stomach.  The black Sharpie marker that I had
used showed up very well against his tanned skin.  Nick and Erron started to
laugh as Brian dropped his shirt again and came the rest of the way down the
stairs.

	"What possessed you to do that?" Erron laughed as Brian came around the
couch, sitting away from me in the chair to my left.

	"Mr. Healy, would you sign my belly?" I said, reminding them of Brian's
smart-ass comment from the afternoon before.

	"For a writer, you've got no sense of sarcasm," Brian said, kicking me in
the leg.

	Nick and Erron were still laughing.  "Show us again Bri," Nick urged.
Brian shook his head with a smile and crossed his arms over his stomach.

	"You guys shouldn't be laughing too hard," I told them.  "You'd have one
too, but I didn't want to take the chance that either of you were sleeping
naked."

	"Good thing," Erron smirked, sitting up.  "You'd have gotten an eyeful."

	I saw Nick blush at that and smiled.  "Then maybe I would have signed
something else for you.  Of course, I probably would have had to shorten the
signature to just my initials for it to fit."  I jumped up off of the couch,
launching myself over the back of it to avoid the lunge Erron made at me.

	He wound up sort of laying across Nick's lap, and they both seemed to
realise the position at the same time.  Erron jumped back up, his cheeks
already flushing, and Nick looked like his head was about to explode.

	Brian got up and came over to stand beside me, pulling me after him into
the kitchen.

	"Well, that was... odd."

	"Odd's a good word," I agreed, then filled him in on the discussion that
they had had about seeing me and other guys naked.

	Brian arched his eyebrows as he poured us each a cup of coffee.  "Does Nick
know what he's doing?"

	"I think so.  He and I talked about it while Erron was in here, but I tell
you, Erron's starting to think about it.  I could see it on his face."

	Hopping up on the island, Brian let out a sigh.  "Do you think they'd be
good together?"

	"According to Nick, that's a moot point.  He says he's not ready for
anything too serious.  I told him to talk to Erron if he wanted, and to let
him know where things stand.  If anything happens, at least they'll be on
the same page."

	"I just want him to be as happy as I am."

	I leaned over for a quick kiss.  "He will be.  Whether that's with Erron
eventually, or someone else, he's got it coming."

	"You know what you have coming?" Brian asked seductively, pulling me to
him.

	"Ooh, what?"

	Brian's hand shot up and smacked me in the back of the head.  "That!  You
know how long it's going to take me to wash this off?  What if someone sees
it?"

	I grinned and pulled his shirt up, admiring my handiwork.  "Relax.  We're
here for a week, and even if it wasn't gone by then, how many people do you
run around shirtless for?"

	"Just you and my other boyfriends," he smiled.  "They're not going to be
happy about you branding me."

	"I could have peed on you to mark my territory, like a wolf."

	"I'll live with the marker."

	"Then stop your bitching about it," I laughed, putting my arms around his
waist.  Or you'll wake up with my signature *everywhere*."

	Brian put his legs around me, squeezing my waist and pulling me against the
island.  "If I find one more bit of black ink on me, you're sleeping on the
couch all week."

	"Like you can do without me."

	"Come on, ego-boy," Brian laughed, jumping back down to the floor.  "Before
you start to think you're indispensable.  I saw your computer out.  You
working already?"

	"Yeah, I got some done this morning.  I can feel there's more there, so
I'll probably go back to it in a little while.  See what I can come up
with."

	"Good.  I don't have to be afraid of Carrie coming after me."

	"She's a sweetheart.  There's more danger of her hugging you to death than
attacking."

	Brian smiled at the mental image, and followed me back out to the living
room.  Nick and Erron were over their embarrassment and were sitting on the
couch chatting.

	"You guys hungry?" Brian asked them.  Both were, so Brian offered to get
something together for lunch.  As he headed back into the kitchen, I dropped
into a chair and looked at them.

	"So what are we talking about?"

	"You naked," Erron laughed.

	I smiled, but my mind didn't acknowledge it.  I thought back to the night
that Nick had found me in the shower, and how out of it I had been.  That
night in their LA hotel notwithstanding - and Brian had seen nothing
specific in the dark that night - Nick had seen me naked before Brian had.
While that thought should have held some humour, I was already putting
another piece into it.

	If he had been the first one to see me naked, he had also been the first to
see...

	"You saw it, didn't you?" I asked Nick, snapping out of my reverie.  "When
you pulled me out of that shower and got me dressed, you saw it."

	They both looked puzzled, but then I saw it click in Nick's eyes, and
watched as they glanced quickly to my hip.  He nodded then looked up to meet
my eyes.  "Like you said, there were other things on my mind, but I saw it."

	"Saw what?" Erron asked, looking at us.  "You got some kind of birthmark
that I don't know about?"

	"Not exactly, sweetie."  Coming to a decision, I stood up and undid the
button on my shorts.

	"Whoa!" Erron laughed, then saw the expression on my face.

	"Relax, you're not going to see anything naughty."  I pulled down the left
side of my shorts and my boxers, revealing the scar on my hip.   It stood
out starkly.  "It's not a birthmark, but it's a mark alright."

	Erron hissed as he drew in a breath, catching sight of it.  "Jesus!"

	"Call me Nate," I said, trying to lighten the mood as I pulled my pants
back up and redid the button.  "Jesus is so formal."

	"Where the hell did you... oh."

	"Yeah," I said, nodding, then turned to Nick.  "You never mentioned it."

	He shrugged.  "It didn't take much to figure out where you got it, and I
knew that you didn't really want to talk about it anymore.  And, since I
knew that you hadn't told Brian about it yet, I didn't need to bring it up."

	Erron was the last of my really close friends to have seen the scar.  Andy,
Jeff and Cindy had seen it, of course, when I had stripped down to dive off
of the balcony.  Andy knew where I had gotten it, but Jeff and Cindy hadn't,
and they hadn't asked.  I had a feeling that Andy had made sure to steer
them clear of it.

	"What's going on in here?" Brian asked, walking out of the kitchen with a
tray of sandwiches.

	"Just doing a little strip-tease for the boys," I smiled.  "I'll do a
better one for you later."

	Brian searched my face to see if I was covering something.  Apparently
satisfied that it was nothing major, he dropped it and put the plate on the
table.  Picking up a sandwich, he sat down my lap and began eating, offering
me a bite now and then.

	"So what's on for the afternoon?" Erron asked after we had polished off the
food.

	"I noticed that there's trails marked off through the trees," Nick
suggested.  "Maybe we could go for a walk?"

	I laughed before I could stop myself, drawing everyone's attention.  "I'm
sorry, I really am, but the image of Erron on a hike is just too much."

	"Just for that, smart-ass, I'll do it."  Erron reached over and punched me
in the arm.

	"And if I go with you guys, that'll give this one some time to finish up
his writing for the day," Brian added, running his hand through my hair.

	"It's not an assignment, you know," I laughed.

	"No, it's your job.  And you're going to do it.  You got more than enough
distractions out of me last week."

	"I didn't hear you complaining."

	"I didn't say I minded, but you said you had to get some more done, so we
may as well get out of here and let you do it."  He smiled at me.  "You and
I can go for our very own nature walk later."

	"I'll bet," Erron whispered, making Nick laugh and us blush.

	As much as I would have liked to join them, I knew that Brian was right.  I
had all week to stroll through the trees, and I might as well get some
writing done while it was fresh in my head.  With a sigh, I agreed.  "Last
time I was here, we took the trail marked with green ribbons.  It's pretty
good, and takes you up onto that cliff overlooking the lake."

	"I'll pack some more sandwiches," Brian offered, standing up.  "We'll
probably be hungry again by the time we get up there."

	"Nick will be hungry by the time you pack the food."

	"Hey!"

	"Oh, you know it's true, Nicky," Brian laughed, ruffling his hair.

	"Doesn't make it funny."  But his smile betrayed him.


	PART 105

	They left for their hike about twenty minutes later.  Brian gave me a kiss
to hold me over until they got back, then ran after them to catch up.  I
watched until he was swallowed up by the trees, then turned back into the
living room, heading straight for my computer.

	I wrote for about an hour, until I felt that I had managed to defuse the
information time-bomb in my head, then stretched and got up again.
Wandering into the kitchen for a drink, I decided that I may as well get
started on dinner.

	I settled on beef stew, and spent about half an hour getting it ready and
started cooking, then stepped out through the doors leading to the deck.
Standing at the railing, I looked out over the lake, which was, of course,
clear of mist by this time of the day.

	Looking up from the reflection in the water to the cliff itself, I squinted
and watched the top for movement.  Of course, it was too far to actually
make out anything, but I thought that they should have been getting there
any time.  After the top of the cliff, the trail doubled back around and
eventually rejoined the first one.

	I was about to turn back around when I heard Nick yodeling.  The sound
rolled down the cliff and echoed back.  If there had been anyone within a
few miles of us, they would have heard it as well, but no one else was
there.  I laughed and wondered if they could see me.

	Where they were was too crowded with trees to make them visible, but I knew
that the cabin was in clear sight for them, which made it likely that they
were looking at me now, though I would be too small to see clearly.

	Brian and Erron quickly joined in the yodels, and soon I was wishing they'd
stop.  One yodel is good.  Fun even.  But three people doing it constantly
is damned annoying.  I thought about screaming at them to stop, but figured
that if they heard me, they'd just do it more because it bothered me.

	Instead, I wandered around the huge deck, looking around me.  When I got to
the side with the hot tub, I looked over the edge and discovered a pile of
wood with a tarp drawn over it to keep it out of the elements.

	Walking down the stairs, I grabbed the tarp and pulled it off.  Underneath
was a huge pile of logs waiting to be split.  I looked back up at the cabin,
thinking that it really wasn't cool enough to be putting on a fire.  While
it did cool down in the evenings, it wasn't enough to warrant using the
fireplace.

	Then I thought that, while it might make it unbearably warm in the cabin,
it would also make it unbearably romantic.  And the cabin had air
conditioning.  Smiling, I went in search of an axe.


	"Woo hoo!" Brian called, as the three of them emerged from the trail about
an hour and a half later.  I was still splitting wood, though I had more
than enough for our stay.  I had discovered that it was very conducive to
thinking, and I had managed to outline my next two chapters and come up with
a nice little sub-plot that would add to the story.

	"Look at my sexy, sweaty man," he smiled, coming up beside me and putting
his hand on my bare arm.  I had tossed my shirt back up over the railing of
the deck shortly after I had started on the woodpile.

	I leaned the axe against the block of wood that I had been setting the
others on to split.  "Look at mine," I countered.  Brian's hair was wet, and
he had little rivulets of sweat running down the side of his face.  "Just
what did you three get up to?"

	"Nothing too exciting," Erron piped up, slightly out of breath.  He was in
good shape, but he was definitely not a hiker.  "Believe me, I tried.  But
Brian seems to have some sort of strange loyalty to you."

	"Aww," I laughed, giving Brian a kiss.

	"Why exactly are you splitting wood?" Nick asked, sitting down on the
steps.  "It's a million degrees out here."

	"I thought it would be nice to cuddle up in front of a fire tonight," I
smiled, looking over at Brian.

	"You'll cook!"

	"That's why the gods created air conditioning," I told him.

	Nick smiled and gave up, probably writing me off as a lost cause.  I noted
that he and Erron were both pretty sweaty too.

	"What did you guys do?  Run the trail?"  My mind supplied me with many
witty comments on how the two of them could have gotten so sweaty, but I
held my tongue.

	"It's uphill both ways!" Erron laughed.

	I rolled my eyes.  "Why don't you two go and shower, and I'll finish up
here, then we'll see about dinner."

	Erron and Nick headed up the stairs, and I felt Brian's arms come around my
waist, his hands locking together on my stomach.  "I think a fire sounds
like an excellent idea."

	"Thought you would."  I picked up the axe again and we walked together to
the little tool shed at the side of the cabin.  It would have been easier to
do without Brian clinging to my back, but I wasn't about to complain.

	We got the axe put away, then I unfolded his arms and pulled him up the
stairs with me, dropping onto a lounge chair.  Brian joined me, sitting on
my lap facing me.  Smiling, he reached down and traced his finger up my bare
chest.  "You look... hot," he laughed.

	Not to be outdone, I grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it off of him.  "You're
not too bad looking yourself."  I threw his shirt in the general direction
of mine, wrapped my arms around him and leaned back on the lounge, pulling
him down with me.  Running my fingers down his back, I pressed my lips to
his.





	"Ahem, lovebirds?"

	"Busy," I managed to say, tearing my lips from Brian's for a split second.

	Erron laughed.  "I can see that.  Just wanted to let you know that the
shower upstairs is free."

	"Good," Brian answered this time, his fingers not even slowing as they
traced down my side and onto my thigh.

	I heard Erron chuckling as he left us alone again, and then quickly forgot
him as I found Brian's tongue once again seeking mine.  With a sigh, I
welcomed it.

	"Mmmmm... ARGH!" Brian's moan suddenly changed to a yell as he sat up with
a jerk.  As soon as he did so, I was pelted with freezing water, and
understood his change in manner.  Brian leapt off of the chair, exposing me
to the spray at full blast.

	I fought to sit up, putting my hands out in front of me in a desperate
attempt to block at least some of the numbing cold.  Almost as soon as I did
so, the stream stopped.  Bringing my hands to my face, I wiped my hair out
of my eyes.  "What in the fuck was that?"  That was when I heard the
giggling.  "ERRON!"

	I opened my eyes again to find Brian dripping wet beside me and trying not
to smile as he looked toward the cabin.  When I turned my head, I found
Erron.

	He was standing at the top of the stairs that led to the woodpile, and he
was holding the garden hose that I had seen coiled at the side of the
building earlier.  "Hey, I just thought that, since you were to busy to go
take a shower, I'd bring the shower to you," he laughed, then quickly raised
the nozzle again when I made as if to run at him.  "Easy, boy.  It's not
like you didn't need cooling off."

	"We were doing just fine, thank you," Brian said, walking along the
railing.  I caught a look from him and got up as well, going in the other
direction.

	Erron realised what we were doing and backed up a step.  "You guys stay
right there."  He moved the nozzle from me to Brian and back again.  "I
already had my shower."

	"Nate, sweetie?"

	"Yes, Brian?"

	"Are you already cold and wet like I am?"

	"Why yes, I am."

	"So you're not really afraid of getting wet?"

	"Guys..."  Erron backed up another step, glancing around him to find an
escape route.

	"Not really, no," I said, watching as Brian got to the stairs and cut him
off that way.  I took another couple of steps and I was between Erron and
the doors to the cabin as well.

	"Then get him!"  Brian lunged at Erron, earning himself a blast of water in
the face as he made contact.  I laughed and joined the struggle.  After a
few seconds, Brian was holding Erron from behind, and I was picking up the
hose from the deck.

	"Come on, guys, it was just a joke."  Erron was still struggling, but I
knew he wasn't going anywhere.  I had been in Brian's arms often enough to
know that you weren't getting out of them if he didn't want you to.

	"Oh, and a funny one it was, too," I smiled, aiming the nozzle at his head.
  Erron ducked his head quickly, making me laugh.  "But it's much funnier
when I'm the one with the water hose."

	"Nate..."  I reached out and grabbed Erron's belt, enjoying the way his
eyes widened.  "Nate, don't you dare."

	I pulled the waistband of his pants out, feeling the fabric of his boxers
under my fingers as well, and smiled.  "Just want to make sure you don't
need cooling off for a while," I said sweetly, then placed the nozzle of the
hose in his waistband.

	I glanced up at Brian to find him smiling at me and nodding.  With a grin,
I squeezed the trigger.  Erron screamed and struggled harder, but Brian
managed to hold him.  His legs kicked around as the wetness spread, and soon
his shorts were completely soaked and dripping onto the deck.  From the
blast he had given Brian and I, I knew that the water was practically ice
cold.

	Brian laughed and pushed Erron away from him as I pulled the nozzle back
out and gave him a thorough soaking.  "Okay okay!  I give up already!" Erron
shouted, and I let the water stop.  Dropping the hose to the deck, I held my
hand out for Brian.

	"We're going to go shower, sweetie.  You should change into something dry
and warm, I think.  You could catch your death of cold."  I chuckled and led
Brian back to the patio doors.

	"You're both bastards," Erron laughed, shivering and jumping up and down a
little bit.  We both just smiled and turned inside.  I caught Erron's
reflection in the windows as we went through the doors and laughed.  He had
his pants pulled out at the front and was looking down at himself.

	Brian caught it too and started to laugh.  "He's not going to see that
thing for a week," he whispered as we headed up the stairs.

	"Better him than me."

	"You got that right," Brian said, putting his hand on the small of my back.

	We grabbed a couple of towels out of the hall closet, then headed for the
bathroom.  I had been able to hear the shower downstairs still going when we
came inside.  Nick was certainly enjoying his shower.  At that thought, I
started to chuckle, but couldn't bring myself to explain it to Brian.

	"Get in here," he said, watching me try to stop smiling.  He pulled me into
the bathroom, then closed and locked the door.  I backed up a little,
looking at him.

	His entire upper body was beaded with water, and his hair was plastered to
his head.  I watched as one droplet made its way down his cheek, dropped to
his chest, and continued until it was sucked into the fabric of his shorts.

	What brought me back to the present was watching as those shorts dropped to
the floor.  "Nate?  You going to shower in your clothes?  Because I feel it
necessary to point out that I'd rather you didn't."

	I smiled and unbuttoned my shorts.  "You just want me for my body."

	"As long as I want you, does that matter?" he smirked, his boxers joining
his shorts.  "But if you want to complain about it, you can just wait until
I'm done."  He stepped into the shower and slid the pebbled glass door
closed.

	I laughed as I heard the water turn on.  "I wasn't complaining," I  said,
raising my voice above the din.  "Just stating a fact." I slid the door open
and stepped in with him.  "Besides, you've got quite the body on you too,
you know."

	Brian turned and put his arms around me as he pulled me under the spray
with him.  "I know."  I rolled my eyes. 	"But there's this boyfriend of mine
who's always pawing at it."

	"Like this?" I asked, moving both of my hands to his ass.

	"Exactly like that."

	"Must drive you crazy."

	"Oh, it does."  Brian pressed against me more forcefully, pushing me back
against the wall of the shower and putting his lips to my shoulder.

	"Lucky guy."  I sighed as I pressed back against him and sucked his earlobe
into my mouth.



	PART 106

	"About time!" Nick laughed from the couch as we came back downstairs about
forty-five minutes later.

	"We were really dirty," Brian said, winking at him before sitting down
beside him.

	"I bet you were!"

	"You ever been told that you've got a dirty little mind, Nick?" I asked,
heading to the kitchen.

	"I've heard it once or twice," he called after me as I pushed open the
door.

	"Get out of there!" I yelled, seeing Erron sneaking some stew.  He jumped
and dropped the spoon into the pot, then dropped the lid onto the top of the
stove, making enough noise to wake the dead.  I started laughing.

	"What's going on in there?"

	"Nothing, pookie!  Just caught someone with their hand in the cookie jar!"

	"We have cookies?"

	"Figure of speech, Nick!" I yelled, laughing harder.  Erron scowled briefly
at me, then looked forlornly into the pot.

	"Hope you don't mind an extra ingredient," he said, his smile finally
breaking through.

	"You that hungry?" I asked, taking a fork and fishing out Erron's wayward
spoon.

	"Getting there."

	"'Kay."  I opened the cupboard and got down four bowls, and four large
plates to put them on.  "Look in the breadbox would you, sweetie?"

	Erron moved to the breadbox and got out the bread. "Nate?"

	"That's me."  I found a ladle and put it on the counter, then searched for
the tray that Brian had used earlier.

	He put his hand on my arm to stop me and get my full attention.  "I wanted
to talk to you about something."

	I looked at the expression on his face and saw how serious he was.  Putting
the tray down on the counter, I turned to face him entirely.  "What is it?"

	"It's Nick."

	The only thing that kept the smile off of my face was the obvious distress
on his.  "What about him?"  I knew, of course, but I was going to have to do
some light stepping here.  I couldn't betray Nick's trust, because I knew
that he hadn't yet decided whether he was going to tell Erron or not.  But
at the same time, Erron would know I was hiding something if I tried to
skirt the issue.

	He did indeed search my face, so I fought to keep it neutral, allowing just
enough expression to show through to keep from looking like a mannequin.
"I'm not sure about him."

	I grabbed Erron by the arm and led him to the little table Nick and I had
talked at the day before.  "What are you talking about?"

	Erron sat down and sighed.  "I don't know.  Sometimes, I just get the
feeling that..." his voice trailed off, as though he was afraid to actually
say it out loud.

	"That what?" I prodded.

	He struggled for the words, his hands making futile gestures in front of
him.  Finally, he just spit it out.  "That he's... interested."

	"Interested in what?"  The way things were going, I could expect my Oscar
to arrive at any time.

	He reached out and smacked me in the head.  "In ME."  The spark in his eye
almost got me to smile.  He was so excited about the prospect of Nick being
receptive to his charms that we was practically glowing.  "Every now and
then, I get the feeling that he's interested in me!"

	"Sweetie..."

	"I know, I know.  That's ridiculous.  There's no way that he *and* Brian
are both gay, and even if he was, there's no way that he would be interested
in me."

	"Erron..."

	"But still, there's a look that he gets sometimes when we're talking, and
the way sometimes he touches my arm when he makes a point.  It's like he's
trying to tell me without telling me."

	I had a feeling that that was exactly what Nick was trying to do.  It was a
good trick, and one that I had used many times.  Make them ask, and all you
have to do is nod.  "Erron..."

	"Do you think it's possible?  I mean, of *course* it's not possible,
but..."

	I clapped my hand over his mouth and gave him a look to shut him up.  When
he nodded his understanding, I smiled and released him.  "Listen to me.  If
you think Nick might be interested in you, talk to him."

	"But..."

	Another look made him quiet.  "As for whether or not it's possible, of
course it's possible!  You think I ever thought that I would actually end up
with Brian?  In my wildest dreams, maybe, but not realistically.  And before
you start selling yourself short, you might want to look in the mirror.

	"Don't argue with me!" I laughed, seeing him about to do just that.
"You're a good-looking guy.  And on top of that, you're a *good* guy.
You're sweet, and funny, and caring, and always willing to lend a hand."  I
reached out and took his hand.  "I consider myself very lucky to have you in
my life, Erron.  I know I don't say that very often, but it's true."

	Erron smiled at me.  "Thanks.  But this is just too much."

	"Look, if you want to know what's going on with Nick, I can only think of
one person that would know."  Actually, I could think of two others, and
they were both in the cabin.  "Talk to him, Erron.  What do you have to
lose?  He knows that you're gay, and from your reaction yesterday when he
walked in the door, he knows that you like him."  I stopped short of the
fact that I had told Nick that much.

	"But what if he's not interested?  What if I just freak him out?"

	"You've seen the way he is with Brian and I.  He's completely cool with it.
  And he's definitely had to deal with people being interested in him
before.  He's not about to freak out.  Just talk to him!"

	"And he hasn't said anything to you?"

	Dammit.  I had been hoping to get away without actually lying to him, but
he was coming pretty close to it.  Luckily, he had left me a little bit of
leeway.  "Erron, you know better than that."

	"Come on, Nate."

	"You know better," I repeated.  "If Nick had told me anything - and I'm not
saying that he has - you know I couldn't tell you, even if you guessed
exactly what it was.  The same way as if you told me something in
confidence, I wouldn't tell anyone else."

	Erron watched me, trying to figure out if I knew something and wasn't
telling.  I was never so glad for my poker face.  "Talk to him," I said
again.  I got up, patted him on the shoulder, then went back to the stove.

	"If he freaks out, I'm blaming you."

	"If he freaks out..."  'I'll sign over my trust fund' was what my mind
supplied, and I turned away again so that he wouldn't see the smile that I
couldn't suppress.  "If he freaks out, I'll have a talk with him.  But don't
worry about that, Erron.  He's a great guy, and if he's not interested,
he'll just tell you so."

	He sighed and stood up too.  "I hope so."

	"Sweetie, if you can come out to your mother, Nick's going to be a piece of
cake," I laughed.

	It was an old joke between us.  Erron had worked himself up into a frenzy
before he finally got the nerve to tell her.  We had been dating for about a
month when he decided to go ahead and bite the bullet.  By that time, I
think we both had known that we weren't going to last, though we didn't
officially break up for about two months after that.

	So, my very first meeting with Mrs. McAfferty had been as Erron's secret
boyfriend.  Awkward?  Just a little.  She had been visiting Erron in Toronto
during our last year of university, and he had decided that it was the right
time.  He had also decided that he wanted me there.

	He spent the entire week before she arrived stressing out about what she
was going to do or say.  His father wasn't much of a problem, since he
hadn't been heard from in years.  He had abandoned Erron, his mother, and
his younger sister when Erron was only eleven years old.  Erron had gotten
over it, but he had never forgiven his father.  On the one occasion that I
had inquired about his possibly trying to find his father, Erron had uttered
the most amasing string of expletives I had ever heard.  I had never asked
again.

	So he had spent the week getting himself all worked up to be abandoned by
his mother as well, convincing himself that she wouldn't take the news well.
  It had been all I could do to keep him from calling and cancelling her
visit.  I had known that he didn't really want to do that.  If I had thought
that it was for the best, I would have made the call myself.

	But neither one of us had, and she had arrived right on time.  Erron set it
up so that I would 'accidentally' arrive right around the same time as she
did.  To avoid being rude, he would have to ask me to join them for dinner.
He had been very proud of his plan, figuring that she wouldn't freak out if
there were company present.

	Halfway through the meal, she had taken it out of his hands entirely.  "So
how long have the two of you been seeing each other?"  She asked it so
casually, as though she were merely asking one of us to pass the peas.
Erron choked and sat up, staring from his mother to me.  I looked at them
both and noticed a slight smile playing about the corners of her mouth.

	It was answered by my own.  "About a month now, ma'am," I told her, then
smiled as Erron's eyes looked about ready to pop right out of his head.

	That dinner had lasted for over two hours, as Erron and his mother talked
to each other and explored where their relationship stood now that
everything was out in the open.  I was relieved to find that she readily
accepted Erron, and had suspected that he was gay for years, choosing to let
him come to her when he was ready.

	And so it had become a joke between us, and with Andrea as well, once I
told her about it.  Erron had worried himself almost to the point of
physical illness over finally coming out to his mother, only to have her
beat him to the punch.  He had rehearsed his speech endlessly, only to wind
up not uttering a word of it.

	I stood there, ladle in hand, watching him as his smile came through.
"Sometimes I wish she had of completely freaked out, you know," he finally
said.

	I laughed and nodded.  "It was such a shame to waste that great
'acceptance' chapter of the speech.  That was really well-done."

	"That's because you wrote it!" he said, finally laughing.

	"The point is, sweetie, that you worried so much about it, and it was all
for nothing.  I think I know Nick well enough to know that you're doing the
same thing here.  Talk to him."

	Erron nodded and took a deep breath.  "Okay, I'll talk to him about it
after dinner."

	"Good, now grab that bread and hold the door."  I finished dishing out the
stew and picked up the tray, then followed him into the dining room.  "Who's
hungry?" I called.

	Brian and Nick were there almost before I got it all out.  I smiled as I
set out the bowls and silverware, then put the tray on one of the little
tables at the side of the room.

	"Thanks for dinner, sweetie."  Brian gave me a kiss on the cheek, then sat
down beside me.  "You didn't have to do all this, you know."

	"T'weren't nothing, ma'am," I grinned, giving him a wink.  "I just got it
together then let it cook while I was working."


	Dinner lasted for about half an hour.  We talked about their walk that
afternoon, and Brian told me that they had been able to see me from the
cliff.  After I told them that I had heard their irritating yodeling, they
started to laugh.

	"You making fun of our yodeling talent?" Nick asked, reaching for another
piece of bread.

	"Would I do that?"

	"Yes."  They managed to achieve prefect unison in their response.

	"Fine, fine.  I slave over a hot stove all day and then you all gang up on
me."  I mimed wiping a tear from my eye and stood up, taking Erron's empty
bowl and putting it in mine.

	"I'll give you a hand," Brian offered.  He grabbed his own bowl, then
waited as Nick finished the last of his stew and took his bowl as well.

	I gave Erron a look that I hoped he would interpret properly, then spoke to
the two of them still sitting at the table.  "Why don't you two go on out to
the deck, and I'll bring out some iced tea."

	Erron's slight smile let me know that he had understood what I was doing,
and he readily agreed.  "Sounds like a plan.  You coming Nick?"  Nick nodded
and the two of them got up and headed outside.

	Brian and I went into the kitchen and put the dishes into the dishwasher.
Opening the fridge, Brian pulled out the pitcher of iced tea that I had made
earlier and put it on the island.  "Did you put sugar in this?"

	"No, why?"

	"Nick won't drink it without it being sweetened," he explained, grabbing
the cannister of sugar.  "And, to be honest, I prefer it too.  What about
Erron?"

	I shrugged.  "No idea."

	"Oh, we've hit upon one of the few things that the two of you don't know
about each other?" Brian laughed setting the cannister on the cupboard.

	"Apparently.  Why, you jealous?"

	"Sometimes."  I jerked my head up at that.  I could tell by the way he said
it that he wasn't just talking idly.

	"Really?"

	Brian shrugged and came over to stand in front of me.  He placed one finger
in the center of my chest.  "Sometimes," he repeated.  "It just seems like
you know each other so well.  I want to know you like that."

	"You will," I assured him.  "Erron and I have known each other for quite a
bit longer than you and I have, pookie.  We've talked about just about
everything there is to talk about.  We'll get to that point."

	"I know, but it's a little unnerving, knowing that there's someone out
there who's got that connection with you."

	"Is this because we were together?"

	Brian hesitated, then nodded.  "I know that you're just friends.  I'm not
worried that you're cheating on me or anything."  He laughed to let me know
that it was true.  "But it's pretty weird that you're so close, and there's
nothing between you."

	"Erron and I have been close right from day one, sweetie.  The moment I met
him, I felt like I had known him forever.  We stopped seeing each other
because it got in the way of the friendship."  I reached out and drew Brian
to me.  "You and I will have that.  Trust me.  But, even better, you and I
have the romantic part too.  That's something that only you and I share.
Give it some time, and I promise you'll be able to teach even Erron a lesson
or two."

	Brian smiled and put his head on my shoulder, turning his face into me.  I
could feel his breath running over the back of my neck.  "What about Andy?"

	"That's going to take a little longer, I think," I laughed.  "She's been my
confidant for a long time."

	"Erron's your confidant, too."

	"That's true, but he wasn't there until near the end of my university days.
  Andy's been there from the start.  She was one of the main things that
made me into the man you're holding right now.  Without her, I might still
be in the closet.  Hell, I might not even be here."

	"Don't say that."

	"It's okay.  I just meant that she's helped me in such a fundamental way
that she knows me better than anyone else.  She was there for most of the
stuff that made me me."

	"Remind me to thank her."

	"Will do," I laughed.  Giving him a squeeze, I pushed him away a little and
looked at him.  "So, Mr. Littrell, you feel like sticking around and getting
to know me better?"

	"I guess," he answered nonchalantly.  "At least until I get a better
offer."

	"Bitch."

	Brian went back to the tray of glasses.  "Didn't want to seem too eager.
You might get a big head.  And," he added, seeing the gleam in my eye as I
was about to speak, "we don't have time to make use of it right now.  I'll
just ask Erron if he needs sugar."
	Brian started for the door that opened onto the deck from the kitchen, but
I grabbed his arm.  "Don't do that."

	"Why not?"

	I took his hand and led him to the door.  "Erron and Nick are supposed to
be talking."

	"So?"  I looked at him and arched my eyebrows.  "Oh.  OH!" he said as it
clicked.  "How do you know?"

	We stood at the door and looked out onto the deck.  Erron and Nick were
standing at the railing, looking out over the lake.  They were talking,
though it looked uncomfortable.  I guessed that Erron was working up to it.

	"Erron asked me about Nick tonight while we were getting dinner ready," I
told Brian, keeping my voice low.  The door was shut, but I didn't want to
take any chances at them hearing us.  I knew that we shouldn't be watching,
but I couldn't take my eyes off of them.  I wanted them to get together,
even if only for a few days.

	"What did he say?"  Brian was also watching them, and keeping his voice
low.

	"He said that he got the feeling sometimes that Nick was interested in him,
but he was nervous about talking to him about it.  He had himself convinced
that it couldn't happen.  That Nick wouldn't be gay, and even if he was,
that he wouldn't be interested in Erron."

	"He is."

	"What?"

	"Nick.  He's interested.  You can see it every time they get talking.  And
we talked a little bit about it while you guys were in here before dinner."

	Brian and I watched them for a few more minutes without speaking.  They
gradually became more comfortable, and I knew that Erron would bring it up
now if ever.  I silently urged him on.

	Erron reached over and put his hand on Nick's arm, and Brian and I both
held our breath.  From the expression that crossed Nick's face, I could tell
that it was started.  Nick looked out over the lake for a minute without
speaking, then he started to nod.

	The tension went out of Erron's body, and he asked another question.  Nick
nodded again, then started to talk.  He spoke for several minutes, probably
explaining exactly what had been going on in his head as he dealt with his
sexuality.

	"Should we be watching this?" Brian asked suddenly, looking over at me.

	"Probably not," I conceded.  "But do you want to stop?"

	"No, just wanted to make sure we were in agreement."  Brian laughed and put
his arm around my waist.  "You think they'll get together?"

	"Dunno.  From what I've heard from Nick, and what you told me, Nick's
definitely interested.  I *know* that Erron is.  But Nick's not ready for
anything like a relationship.  He pretty much said he'd only be looking for
a week-long thing."

	"Will Erron be okay with that?"

	"Hmmm."  I pretended to think about it.  "Will Erron be okay with hanging
around and getting close to someone that he's had a crush on for ages?"

	"Okay, okay. Shut up."  Brian elbowed me in the stomach and we turned our
attention back to the deck.  They were talking much more now, and things
seemed to be going well.  They were both smiling.

	I smiled, then noticed something and chuckled.  "Erron's going to kiss
him."

	"What?"

	"Erron is going to kiss Nick."

	"How do you know?"

	"One of those things that we know about each other," I smiled, looking at
Brian quickly before returning my gaze to Erron and Nick.  "Erron's trying
really hard to keep from kissing him."

	"How do you *know*?" Brian asked again, nudging me.

	"Look at his hand," I said, pointing.  "Not the one on the railing, but the
one that's dangling at his side."

	"He's twitching it."

	"No he's not.  He's crossing and uncrossing the fingers."

	"So?"

	"That's one of Erron's nervous twitches.  I noticed it just after we
started dating.  He used to do it when we were in mixed company and he
wanted to kiss me but couldn't.  After a while, it became sort of a sign we
would give each other.  Whenever he started doing that with his fingers,
we'd both excuse ourselves from wherever we were."

	"Couldn't you just wait?"

	"You've known Erron long enough to know that he has no willpower," I
laughed.

	"And he only does that when he's trying not to kiss someone?"  Brian gave
me a skeptical look.

	"Sort of.  He's got a few things like this.  But he only does that with his
fingers when he's wanting to do something and he can't.  It's a great way to
know if he's got a secret that he wants to tell."  I laughed and wondered
briefly if his mother had known about that particular twitch.  If she had
seen it at dinner that night and taken it upon herself to help him.

	"Then how do you know that he's going to kiss Nick?"

	"Well, what else is there?  He's out there, finding out that Nick is
interested in him, and he's going to be nervous and jumping for joy and
scared out of his wits all at the same time.  He's basically dreamed of
this, sweetie.  What's his first reaction going to be?"

	Brian nodded his understanding and we both turned back to the door just in
time to see Erron raise his hand slightly, moving it toward Nick, then drop
it again.  Nick was looking out over the lake again, and didn't notice.

	"Come on," Brian whispered, making me smile.  "Just do it already!"

	Erron said something that made Nick laugh and look over at him.

	"Go go go go," Brian and I said together, watching Erron's hand raise
again.  He settled it on Nick's arm as they looked at each other.  Erron
spoke very briefly, and Nick nodded.

	"Here we go," I smiled.

	Erron's hand rose from Nick's arm and settled on the side of his face,
cupping Nick's cheek in his palm.  They slowly leaned in toward each other
and, from where we were standing, we could see Nick close his eyes as their
lips met.  Nick's hands came up as well, holding Erron's head as they
kissed.

	"Yay!" Brian cheered quietly, then turned and kissed me.  Both of his arms
came around me, resting on the small of my back and holding me tight.  His
tongue played across and around mine as he slowly walked us both back into
the kitchen further, so that Nick and Erron wouldn't see us if they looked
in.

	Brian backed me against the counter and continued to push slightly,
pressing himself against me.   His hands slipped up the back of my shirt and
caressed the muscles there.

	When we finally broke the kiss, Brian once again put his head on my
shoulder.  "I'm so happy for them."

	"Sweetie?  We can't read too much into this, you know.  I'm happy too, but
Nick already told us that he's not looking to be with anyone right now.  We
can't go around acting like they're engaged."

	"I know, but I'm still happy for them.  Erron gets to play around with his
crush, and Nick gets a chance to figure some things out for himself."

	"You want him to be gay, don't you?"  Brian tensed a little in my arms.
"Relax, it wasn't an accusation, just an observation."

	Brian's shoulders slumped back down.  "I guess part of me really does want
him to be, yeah."

	"Why?  You looking to replace me already?"

	Brian laughed.  "Nothing so drastic.  I guess I'm just tired of being 'the
gay one' in the group.  I mean, we've been together for years now.  After a
while, we start to pick up each other's habits and tastes.  It's like being
married for a long time.  We spend so much time together, it sometimes feels
like we're just different parts of the same person."

	"And you coming out put you sort of outside that again."

	I felt him nod against my shoulder.  "I don't regret coming out, and I'm
happy with who I am, but it would be nice to be able to share this with
someone else in the group.  Especially..."

	"Especially when I can't be there with you," I finished for him.

	"Yeah.  I know that you can't tour with us forever.  At some point, we're
going to be apart again for who knows how long.  It would be nice to have
someone there who I can talk to about stuff like this, and know that they
understand."

	"Come on," I said, taking his hand and pulling him toward the living room.
We left the iced tea on the counter.  I led Brian to the couch in front of
the fireplace and sat down with him.  "Nick will understand either way, you
know.  He's confused about this, but he'd know what you were talking about."

	Brian nodded.  "Yeah, but it would be nice to know for sure.  To *know*
that he's thinking the same things I am."

	"Sweetie, *no one* is thinking the same thing Nick is," I laughed.  "But I
know what you mean.  That's another reason that Erron and I are so close, I
think.  He was the first openly gay man I met after coming out.  Well, there
were a couple of others, but he was the only one that I met and actually
spent any time around.

	"We used to sit up all night when we first met - and we still do it
sometimes even now - talking about what it was like, and what we were
thinking about different issues.  It made a huge difference to know that we
had that connection."

	"That's what I used to feel with Nick.  But then after I came out, that
stopped for a long time.  I think we both did it.  He pulled away a little
because of all the stuff that he was dealing with, and I pulled away because
I was expecting the guys to and I wanted to do it first."

	I glanced out on the deck and smiled.  "Well it doesn't look like you have
much to worry about.  Nick might not be gay, but he seems to be enjoying the
company of one particular gentleman."

	Brian looked as well and I saw the smile appear on his face.  They were
just talking, but they were sort of leaning on each other.  If they were to
both turn their faces to look at each other, they would be about an inch
from kissing.

	"They do make a cute couple," he commented, then turned back to me.
Reaching out, he pushed me back on the couch, then lay down on top of me.
"But not as cute as us."

	"Can there be such a thing?" I asked, kissing him.

	"Not a chance."

	"So how long do you think we have before they decide to come back inside
and join us?"  I slid my hand underneath his shirt, lifting it at the back
and tracing my finger up and down his spine.

	"Probably not too long.  Although, once you and I start kissing, I tend to
forget where I am.  They could be out there all night."

	"Or they could be standing at the doorway right now, listening to the two
of you try to figure out if you have time for a quickie," Erron laughed from
behind us.  If I hadn't had Brian holding me down, I probably would have
leapt right off of the couch. As it was, I almost dumped him to the floor.
Erron just laughed harder as he and Nick sat down.

	"So where's that iced tea you promised us?" Nick asked with a smile.

	"What's the matter, Nicky?  You work up a thirst out there?"

	Nick's smile became a shy one, and he blushed and looked away.  It was so
cute that I couldn't help but laugh.

	"Leave him alone," Erron said, giving me a comically fierce look.  "And try
to keep your jealousy under control.  I know you're stuck with that little
freak on top of you, but I've told you before that you can't have me."

	I had to laugh at that.  "Please."

	"No no, don't beg."  Erron jumped up out of his chair.  "Now, I think that
*I* will go and get those drinks, since you two obviously can't be relied
upon to follow through."

	As soon as he was through the doors to the kitchen, I tapped Brian lightly
and asked to be let up.  He stood up and helped me to my feet.  "If you two
will excuse me," I said, smiling at Nick, "I'm going to go talk about you."
I left the two of them laughing as I followed Erron into the kitchen.

	He was waiting for me as I entered, and looked up expectantly.  "I was
wondering how long it would take you, sweetie."

	"Gotta get the details, my dear," I laughed, jumping up onto the island and
swinging my legs back and forth like a kid.  "So, you happy?"

	"Are you kidding me?  I can't believe that you didn't tell me about this!"
Seeing that I was going to speak, he hurried on.  "I mean, I *can* believe
it, and wouldn't expect much else from you, but you could have saved me a
lot of worry if you'd just let those principles slip a little bit."

	"I think you'd probably agree that getting a kiss from Nick was worth the
worry, wouldn't you?"

	"Definitely."  The look of joy on his face made it impossible not to smile.
  It also made it impossible for me not to think about whether he was going
to be able to be in this casually, or whether he was going to wind up
becoming too attached for comfort.  "You should kiss him!"

	I briefly thought about telling him that I had indeed kissed Nick - or,
more precisely, been kissed by Nick - but decided not to rain on his parade.
  "So you guys talked about everything?  You know what's going on in his
head?"

	Erron looked at me closely, then nodded and put the pitcher back in the
fridge.  He knew what I was thinking about.  "He told me.  And before you
get too bent out of shape with worry, I know where things stand.  He's not
ready for anything too major or too involved.  We're just messing around.
I'm having no delusions that we're in a relationship, or that it'll become
one."

	"Okay.  Just checking to make sure."

	"I know.  And I'm sure that Nick appreciates your mothering side just as
much as everyone else that you know.  I'm not about to jump him without his
say-so."

	There was something there that worried me, but I couldn't put my finger on
it, so I decided to think about it (I'm sure that just about everyone else
would have substituted the word 'brood' for 'think', but 'think' set my mind
at ease a little bit more) and go with a lame joke instead.  "Are we about
to see some of that willpower that you're always insisting that you have?"

	"Yep.  In fact, you're already seeing it.  I'm using it right now to avoid
smacking you," he laughed, picking up the tray with the glasses on it.

	I smiled and put my hand on his arm, forcing the tray back to the counter.
"You need to add sugar to at least two of those."

	"Why would I do that?"

	I was sure that Brian would appreciate the fact that we had successfully
taken care of yet another thing that Erron and I didn't know about each
other.  He obviously didn't take sugar either.  That thought made me smile
as I grabbed the cannister and handed it to Erron.  "Brian and Nick both
take sugar."

	"Well, Brian I can understand, but Nick's sweet enough."  I rolled my eyes
as I watched Erron add some sugar to two of the glasses.

	"Maybe he needs a refill after the sugar he was giving you out on the
deck."

	"Shaddap you," Erron laughed, picking up the tray again.  "Shall we?"

	"Hell yes.  I could be with Brian rather than hanging out here with the
likes of you."  I kicked open the door and held it for him.

	"Careful, or I might just accidentally spit in your glass."

	"Funny, I thought Nick was your new spit receptacle."

	"I don't even want to think about what kind of receptacle Brian uses you
for."

	"Excuse me?" Brian head popped up over the back of the couch with a grin
pasted on it.  "Did I just hear what I think I heard?"

	"Sure did, pookie," I said, pouting out my lower lip for effect.  "Erron's
being dirty-minded and mean to me."

	Brian sat up and opened his arms for me.  "Aww, come here, sweetie."

	Erron and Nick both groaned as I continued the pout and sat down with
Brian, letting him close his arms around me.  "He made me feel all dirty."

	Brian just laughed and put his finger under my chin to get me to face him.
As soon as I was, he leaned in and bit my protruding lip, sucking it into
his mouth, then giving it back as he deepened the kiss.

	They gave us what felt like a millisecond before they started hollering at
us to come up for air.  Reluctantly, Brian released my head and pulled his
lips away.  Rather than sit back up, I put my head down in his lap, sliding
my feet along the couch until I was laying down, looking up at Brian.

	He smiled down at me and started to run his hands through my hair.  "Aren't
they cute?" I heard Erron ask Nick.

	"Not nearly as cute as they think they are," Nick answered.

	"You hear something?" Brian asked, pausing the movement of one of his hands
to play with the little curl of hair that he had pulled down over my
forehead.  I had completely given up the idea of a haircut, deciding to take
Nick's advice and let it grow a bit.

	Closing my eyes, I leaned my head into the movement of the one hand that
was still running through my hair.  "Nope.  Just the wind through Erron's
ears."

	"Hey!" Erron started to protest, then stopped when Nick started laughing.
Apparently one of the side-effects of his newfound situation was that he was
less-than-eager to go against Nick.

	Brian apparently noticed too, because I opened my eyes just in time to see
his smile.  "I wonder if, when you put your ear to his, you can hear the
ocean?"

	"Ask Nick," I answered, giving him a wink.  I craned my head back a bit to
find Nick at a complete loss for words.

	Brian blind-sided me by changing affiliations.  "Wouldn't you know too?
I'm sure that you must have had ample opportunity when you dated him."

	Nick started laughing and leaned over to high-five Brian and welcome him to
their side.  I took the opportunity to turn my head toward Brian and pull up
his shirt, revealing the signature there.  "You know, pookie, I'm growing
even less unhappy about having put this on your stomach now.  I didn't think
you'd betray me like that."

	Brian moved his hand from my forehead to his shirt, pulling it down again
and then returning to my head.  "I didn't betray you.  I just pointed out
the obvious."

	"Speaking of which," I grinned, "I wish you'd calm down a bit.  Your lap's
getting a lot less comfortable than it was a few minutes ago."  I shifted my
head around dramatically.

	That silenced Brian and Nick, but not Erron.  He was a lot harder to shock.
  "Just what are you doing, Nate?"

	I stopped shifting around and looked over at him.  "Trying to find a *ahem*
soft spot."

	Brian's hand was immediately over my mouth as Nick and Erron burst out
laughing.  "Quiet you."

	I licked his hand, making him withdraw it with a smile.  "Sorry pookie, but
once you cross me, you're in for it."

	"Not to change the subject or anything," he laughed, flicking me in the
forehead.  "But didn't you promise me a fire or something?"

	"You cold?"

	"No, but a promise is a promise."

	"But I just got comfortable again," I whined.  I thought about adding a
nuzzle into the mix for effect, but then I realised that there was only one
spot on him that was within nuzzling distance, and I didn't think any of us
wanted Nick and Erron in the room for *that*.

	Nick sighed and reached out for Erron's hand, pulling him up with him as he
stood.  "We'll go and get some wood, but Nate's starting the fire."

	"How come we have to go?" Erron protested.  "It was Nate's idea."

	"Are you actually refusing to go out for a short walk with Nick in the
moonlight?" I asked him.  Had he been closer, I would have smacked him in
the head.

	"Well, when you put it that way," Erron smiled.  "I guess it's not nearly
as bad.  We'll be back in, oh, twenty minutes or so."

	Nick laughed and assured us that they would be back much sooner than that.
I had a feeling that, twenty minutes or not, they would likely be taking a
little bit longer than was strictly necessary to gather some wood from the
pile.

	As soon as they were out of the room, Brian's hand started running through
my hair again as he smiled down at me.  "I think that's the first time
you've complained about having to find a 'soft spot', sweetie."

	"Oh, I didn't mean it to sound like a complaint," I laughed.  "Just
pointing out the obvious.  Don't want you getting a complex or something."
I rolled over on the couch so that I was facing him.  Lifting his shirt
again, I raised my head and started to kiss his stomach.

	"Sweetie, we don't have time for this," Brian whispered, but made no move
to actually get me to stop.

	I pulled Brian's shirt down over my head as I slipped my tongue into his
navel, enjoying the slight shiver that it caused.  The hand that had been in
my hair moved to hold the back of my head, and his other hand slipped down
to pull up the front of my shirt, gently stroking my stomach as I kissed
his.

	While Brian hadn't been nearly as excited as I had let on before, I could
feel it happening now and smiled to myself.  Sliding my hands around his
waist, I let them enter the waistband of his pants.

	"Is it hot in here?" he asked, sighing and laying back a little bit against
the back of the couch.

	"Mmm hmm," I answered, my response muffled by his midsection.  Pulling my
head back a little, I continued.  "Getting hotter by the second."

	Suddenly, Brian's shirt was gone.  I looked up just in time to see him pull
it over his head and toss it down on the end of the couch at my feet.  As
soon as it was off of him, he was pulling at mine as well.  I sat up just
long enough for him to pull it off of me and throw it at his, then started
for his stomach again.

	Before I could get there, he put out his hand and stopped me.  I gave him a
confused look until he spun around on the couch and started to slide under
me.  Taking the hint, I raised my body up from the cushions to let him lay
down beneath me.  As soon as he looked comfortable, I lowered myself again,
my lips immediately pressing against his.

	"Mmm... that's much better," Brian said, breaking the kiss just long enough
to get the words out.

	"Geez, can't leave you two alone for a few minutes and you're already
stripping down."  Nick laughed and dropped his armload of wood into the
basket beside the fireplace.

	I laughed as well, and pulled my lips from Brian.  Lowering my head to his
shoulder, I stuck my tongue out to lick his jaw.

	"Nice 'do," Brian said, making me open my eyes and look at Nick.  His hair
was sticking up at the back.  It looked suspiciously like someone had been
running their fingers through it.  I had a feeling that mine would look
pretty similar if I were to find a mirror.

	Nick just smiled and gave Brian the finger.  At least he wasn't blushing
again.  It looked like he was becoming more confident and comfortable with
himself and his new situation with Erron.  He knew that we were both behind
him.

	"What's with the skin?" Erron asked, walking around the end of the couch
and looking at Brian and I.

	"We were hot," I smiled from Brian's shoulder.

	"I bet.  Now are you going to start this fire, or are you planning on
losing more clothes first?"

	"As much as I know you would all like to see me strip down, I think I'll
fix the fire."  I got up off of the couch, extracting a promise from Brian
to save my spot for me, as Erron added his armload of wood to the one Nick
had brought in.

	I knelt in front of the basket, opening up a little cupboard below it, and
extracted a box of matches, some newspaper, and a few pieces of kindling.
Since it had been in there for who knows how long, I knew that it would
catch almost as soon as I put the match to it.

	I moved back to the fireplace itself and started making a bed for the fire
out of the kindling and paper.  I had just set the last piece of wood on top
when I heard Erron giggling behind me.  Looking over my shoulder, I found
him curled up on top of Brian and watching for my reaction.

	"Moving in on my territory?" I asked him casually, turning and standing up.

	"Just keeping him warm."

	"Well, you keep it up.  I'll be back in a minute and we'll have this going.
  Then I think the last thing we'll need to worry about is staying warm."  I
gave them both a smile and then headed upstairs.  Grabbing my digital
camera, I walked back downstairs and came up behind the couch.  I stood at
the end of it and quickly snapped a couple of pictures of the two of them
before they could react.

	"What are you doing?" Brian asked, sitting up a little.

	"Just getting some evidence so that I can take you for all you're worth in
the divorce," I smirked, setting the camera on the table.  I crouched by the
fireplace again and struck a match, putting the flame to the paper in
several places and then sitting back to watch as it reached the kindling.

	In a matter of moments, the fire was growing in the hearth, the kindling
snapping and popping as it caught.  Standing back up, I walked over to stand
in front of the couch, looking down at Erron.

	"What?" he asked innocently.

	"You're on my man."

	"He's pretty comfortable.  I don't know if I want to get up."

	"Well, sweetie, I would think that if *he* enjoyed it all that much, you
would be a little less comfortable.  He tends to get a little lumpy in the
mid-section when he's enjoying himself."

	Erron groaned and rolled off of Brian, opting instead to sit down in front
of Nick's chair, leaning back against the front of it.  I just smiled and
lay back down on Brian, dropping my head once again to his shoulder.

	"That's two mentions of that tonight, sweetie," Brian chuckled.  "Is that
all you can think about?"

	"With you half-naked and under me?  What else could I think about?"  Brian
just smiled and softly stroked my back as we all turned out attention to the
mesmerizing sight of the flames as they grew and flickered brightly in the
hearth.

To Be Continued...

That's it, my friends. :)  Again, it'll be two weeks before the next one is
posted, so be looking. :)

Story recommendations (thought I forgot, didncha?):  Of course, Matt's
"Search & Rescue" is high on my list.  The reasons for that are plentiful,
but one of the main ones is that it's a damn good story. :)  "Lucky Me" by
the utterly fabulous Lauren, "Some Kind of Bliss" by the equally fabulous
Braan, and "Because I Love You" by Lucas (who is also pretty darn fabulous)
are all great as well.  You should also (if my opinion means anything at
all, of course) check out Scotty T's stories.  The boys a storyteller if
ever I've met one.  "Beneath It All" is, for personal reasons, my favourite
of his two current stories, but "Mirrors" is quite enjoyable as well.

Okay, I'm done with you.  Please return to your regularly scheduled
programming.  Thanks for reading! :)

~*D*~