Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2001 14:15:20 +0100 (BST)
From: "Ethan" <irishfireuk@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: The Broken Hearted 4

The Broken Hearted

This story is purely fictional. I am not implying that anyone
mentioned in this story is gay or that any of the situations arising
are real. I have no connections with Westlife or Ronan Keating.

Four

Ronan was dreading  his upcoming confrontation with Shane. How would
he face him after all that had happened? He had no right to demand an
explanation from Shane, he knew the truth, anyway. What good would
this do?

That evening...

Kian walked out of the bathroom, heading for Shane's room. As he
approached the door, he thought he had the unmistakable sound of
crying. He held his breath and waited...  there it was again. He
opened the door in one swift movement and barged right in

"What's wrong?" he asked rushing over to Shane's crouching body.
Shane jerked his head up, his eyes were bloodshot.

"N.. Nothing" he stammered, wiping his eyes recklessly.

"Come on, mate" Kian said, wrapping his arm around Shane's shoulders,
 holding him steady "please, tell me what is bothering you" he
pleaded.

Shane made an attempt to smile "I can't talk about it Ki, if I could
I promise, I would tell you" he tried to re-assure his friend,
without much luck

"Shane I'm your best friend, I want to help you"

"Just hold me" Shane whispered.

Kian held him tightly, wrapping both his arms around the trembling
body of his friend, rocking him gently. He stroked his fingers
through Shane's short black hair. How he wished he could just freeze
this moment, sitting here with Shane in his arms. How he wished he
could make Shane as happy as he deserves to be.

---

Ronan let himself in through the front door, it was ajar. He called
out, but no one replied. He walked into the lounge, apprehensively.
Nicky was sitting in front of the telly, he heard greeted Ronan with
a nod and went back to concentrating on the show.

"Where's Shane?" he asked

"Upstairs" Nicky replied

Ronan shifted uncomfortably in the doorway, he wasn't prepared to
face Shane, but it was too late now. "Erm.. How is he?" he asked

"Something's bothering him, but he won't say" Nicky looked away from
the screen and straight at him. Ronan felt as if Nicky was accusing
him, he was being paranoid but it really felt that way. He climbed up
the stairs, taking them two at a time, coming to a standstill outside
Shane's room. The door was open halfway, he peeped in. Kian had his
arms wrapped around Shane, Ronan felt a sharp pang of jealousy as he
saw Shane in another man's arms. He felt like turning back the
clocks, no matter what the consequence...

"Oh, hey Ro" Kian said, loosening his arms.

Shane looked up, an expression of delight quickly turned to one of
bitter resentment. Ronan felt like his heart was being dissected to
bits.

Kian stood up "I'll go make us some coffee" he announced, making
Shane believe he knew more than he ought to know.

Ronan lingered in the open doorway for a few minutes, awkwardly.
Eventually he closed the door and moved closer to Shane, but he was
stopped dead in his tracks by Shane's cold voice. "What do you want?"
he asked

Ronan just looked at him, trembling inside. Had he made the biggest
mistake of his life? Had he been wrong to break it off? But as much
as he wanted to believe that there was a future for them, he knew
that it could never be. He had made the right choice, the painful
one, but definitely the right one.

"Kian asked me to talk to you" Ronan said "I know it won't do any
good, but he insisted" his voice was soft and quivering.

Shane stared at him intensely, his bloodshot eyes tearing right
through Ronan's wounded heart. "I think you have said more than
enough already" he whispered.

Ronan sighed "please don't make this harder than it is" his plea was
lost on Shane, who was crying freely again.

"Why not?" he shouted furiously, "Why should this be easy for you?
when I am still suffering like this" his hands were shaking violently
with anger.

Ronan stood there silently 'if only it was easy for me' he thought
'if only I could stop thinking about you every passing moment'. He
cleared his throat "The tour kicks off in a week Shane, you have you
pull yourself together"

"I know and I will, I'm not going to let the group down" Shane said
"Is that all? have you finished?" he asked bitterly.

No! there was so much more Ronan wanted to say. But he nodded and
headed for the door...

"Can I ask you a question?" Shane asked "Was it just the sex.. for
you? is that all it ever was?

"No, I loved you more than anything, I still do" Ronan said, with
that he left the room, closing the door behind him.

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