Date: Sat, 21 Jul 2001 00:50:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: John D <zachstack@yahoo.com>
Subject: BSB Hearts Assunder Book 2: Harmony pt 13a

Previously...

Part 12
"Red Flag"

[Still the day before on the BSB's plane]

"Brian, I...?"  Leighanne walked back in to the room
intending to grab her purse before heading off to the
others.  "Brian!"  She quickly ran to the side of her
distraught fiancee.

*******************************************************

[In a hotel lobby somewhere else in Tampa some half an
hour earlier.]

"Shit. Shit. shit!"  Dan scanned over the new papers
and files David had just faxed him and he knew he had
to do something fast.  He quickly fished out his phone
from his pocket and dialed Scott McGill.

Busy!  He must try again.  He has to, there was
someone else's life at stake now.
...

*******************************************************

[Nick's room 12:00 midnight]

He swalloped and opened the medicine cabinet.  He just
doesn't know how to feel anymore.  He gingerly picked
up the shaving creme with trembling and weak fingers
when he saw it.  His deliverance from all this pain.
It was staring him straight in his eyes; his razor.
He slid his fingers over the handle almost
absent-mindedly.  Staring at the metal edges of the
blades themselves, he knew even now that he could do
it.
*******************************************************


-------------------------------------------------------
**Disclaimers:  This is only a work of fiction and
should only be taken as such.  Any resemblances
between the other characters to any real, living or
dead, persons is highly coincidental.  This does not
reflect the lives of any of the Backstreet Boys or
their family members.  This is mainly a PG 13 story.
Enjoy**
-------------------------------------------------------

BSBHAB2: Harmony Part 13a
"Final Revelations"

[Day before at the BSB Plane in New York]

"Brian!"  Leighanne ran to her distraught fiancee's
side.  "Baby, what's wrong?"  She knelt beside him
rubbing his back, kneading the tension slowly away.

"I-I-I can't do this anymore Leighanne, I just can't!"
 Brian sobbed into her shoulder.

"Shhh, it's alright.  Tell me what's all this about."
Leighanne hugged Brian's head against her chest with
one hand and kissed him on top of the head.

"It's Nick."  Brian sobbed, burrying his face into her
now tear soaked shirt.

"Oh Brian,"  Leighanne sighed, tears filling her eyes
in the realization of her fiancee's still broken
heart.

"I-I-I can't live like this anymore.  I just can't!"
Brian blurted out amidst his agonized wailing and his
painful wretched heart.

"Brian, it's going to be alright."

"No it's not!  Jane said she can bring him back, but I
doubt it.  He hates me, Lei, he hates me!"  He groaned
tears streaming freely down his face.

"Jane?"  Leighanne leaned back to look Brian in the
face.  She had known what role Jane played in the
original break up of her son and Brandon.

Brian broke apart and told her everything.  Starting
with the envelope up to their conversation just
moments before his appearance in the room.  He told
her everything, skipping only the parts that involved
his desperate sexual relations with Jane in his hopes
of her cooperation in getting Nick back into the fold.

"So you are saying Jane was the one that orchestrated
that whole thing with Aaron taking Nick's spot?"
Brian nodded painfully.  "Do you have any idea what
was in the envelope she sent the reporters?"

"Just random things.  I saw them myself.  Just some
harmless pictures of him and Aaron and Backstreet
goofing off during rehearsals.  That's all."  Brian
gulped down and inhaled deeply, letting it out through
his mouth with a loud sigh.

"Mike has to know about this."  Leighanne was about to
stand, when Brian pulled her back down to him.

"No please, not right now.  I need you," Brian
whispered after a coughing fit.  "I don't know what to
do anymore, Lei.  I just don't know anymore."

Leighanne bit her lower lip before embracing Brian to
her again.  She wasn't the type of person who gets
into another mother's business with her kids, but she
knew that there had to be a stop put to Jane before
she could cause anymore damage.  Brian was too far due
for a break, and Jane was a definite cause of it.

Leighanne kissed Brian on the head and thought about
what she was going to do.
*******************************************************
[Somewhere in Tampa of the following evening.]

"Shit!"  Dan cursed, giving up trying to reach Scott.
He knew what he had to do -- there was only one place
Scott could be at right now.  He was going to the
club, no matter what the other was going to do to him.
 He might have the mortal sin of being a reporter, but
he will not have another man's blood in his hands.

Dan slipped on his coat, headed out the lobby of his
hotel and went straight for his rental.
*******************************************************
[Back in Atlanta, Mike's temporary office in his hotel
room.]

"Are you sure about this, John?"  Mike peered wearily
over some of his own paper work.

"Yeah, Mike, I'm sure,"  John sat anxiously in his
seat.  "I just need to take care of some family
business, I promise I'll be back by the end of the
week for Brian's wedding if you need me."

"Well, I don't really think we'd be needing you for
that with the security and Nick not being here, you
understand."  Mike thought he saw something cross
John's face all of sudden -- something he would've
never thought of the smooth and soft spoken bodyguard
ever -- must be the sleepiness he thought, and
continued.  "Sure go ahead.  I'll give you a buzz when
we need you again."  Mike stood up behind his
makeshift desk and shook the hand of the tall lean
wolfish bodyguard.

"Thanks, boss."  John smiled down at Mike before
heading for the door.

Mike was taken aback for a second, again he had
thought that John looked almost wickely for a second,
but it was far too quick to have really been.  Again
he chalked it up to his sleepless couple of days.

"Oh, sure no problem.  I hope all goes well for you
back home,"  Mike went back to his paper work.  "Oh
and John, could you please close the door behind you
and put up the 'Do not disturb' sign on the knob?  I
have to get these papers done."

"No prob, boss.  Nite, sir."

Had Mike been looking up when John had replied, he
wouldn't have second guessed his eyes.
*******************************************************
[Nick's bathroom in Tampa]

He knew he could do it.  He ran his fingers delicately
over the exposed blades of his razor head as to not
cut himself up.  He looked at the shining keen edges
of the blades and looked up to look at his gaunt and
tired eyes and he knew deep in his heart that he could
take out one of the razor blades and cut his wrist
right then and there and never be hurt again.  He
lightly turned the small knobs of the razor and
handled the thin piece of metal in between his two
fingers and sighed.

Behind him, his dog whimpered sadly, nudging the back
of his naked thigh with his cold wet and loving nose.

Nick looked down at his beloved and loyal pet and a
flood of emotion and sudden calmness flooded over his
entire body.  No, he couldn't do it even if he had
wanted to.  Even without Brandon in his life, he knew
that he still had some remnants of the care that he
had before everything else.  His sisters, his friends
-- or lack there of -- and most importantly Brandon
himself.  Brandon had given Nick up when he already
knew in his heart that Nick was everything to him just
because Nick had asked it of him.  He had given his
life for his love for Nick.  Nick suddenly felt a deep
disgust for himself and hurled the razor away into the
trash bin and all thoughts of suicide away with it.
Brandon had loved him, and Nick had loved him back
too.

Brandon.  Brandon.  Brandon is dead.

Nick told himself.  'Yeah, dead as your heart has
become these last few weeks.'  The voice in the back
of his head answered.  That brought a cynical grin to
his face and he turned almost cheerfully back to his
dog and scratched the animal lovingly behind the ear.

"C'mon, boy."  Nick kissed the dog on the top of it's
head.
*******************************************************
[Somewhere in a bar in Tampa]

"Have you seen Scott McGill?"  Dan walked up bravely
to the burly bar tender.

"Whazzit to yous little man?"  The other towered over
him ominously.

"I have a very important thing to tell him.  Someone's
life is at stake here."

"Yeah, one of those eh?"  The bar tender gave him what
would have been a toothy grin had there not been three
to four empty spots.  "'Ee's out back, drunk.  That
punk got in his last fight in here.  Tell 'im 'ee
ain't welcome 'ere no more."

Dan cursed Scott softly under his breath and proceeded
to go around the back alley of the bar where he found
Scott half buried in garbage and cursing himself.

"Scott?!"  Dan scrambled over to him.

"Nick I'm sorry I shouldn't have..."  Scott grumbled,
trying to get up, but failed.

Dan pulled Scott to his feet, and slowly, but surely
carried the other man to Dan's waiting car.

"Scott,"  Dan slapped Scott lightly on the cheeks to
try and snap him out of his stupour.  "Dammit, Scott I
need you for this.  Someone's life is at stake!"

"hey...didn't I tell you not to bother me here..."
Scott grumbled an inaudible reply and drooled all over
himself before drifting back to his drunken sleep.

"Dammit!"  Dan belted Scott in his seat and headed
back to his hotel.  There was nothing he could do
anymore tonight.
*******************************************************
[Nick's bedroom 1:59 a.m.]

Nick settled onto his bed, cozily settling into his
favorite spot thinking about all the happy and sad
times he and Brandon had had in their short time
together.  Even now he couldn't remember a single time
when he and Brandon had never got along on anything.
Even now all he could remember were Brandon's soft
smiles and loving praises for whatever Nick did.  His
heart warmed immensely with the image of Brandon's
perpetually young beautiful face filled his mind.

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, almost
contentedly, with his dog resting his head on Nick's
naked chest.

He opened his eyes once more to look at the time when
he realised he was no longer in his room.

"Wha...?!"

{Dream}

"Shhhh!" Brandon laughed out loud while he sat on his
own gravestone.  "Don't get too excited, babe.  This
is only a dream."  Brandon flashed Nick one of his
boyish smirks and winked at him.

'Brandon,'  Nick padded barefoot up to where Brandon
had been.  He tried to wrap his arms around Brandon,
but unfortunately, the other immaterialized as they
touched.

'Sorry, Nick.  You can't touch.  At least not yet.'
Brandon made the motion as though he was stroking
Nick's hair out of his eyes.  'I missed you.'
Brandon's porcelaine-doll perfect face became the
folds of his love.

'Why did you leave me?!'  Nick cried out in anguish
hugging the gravestone for a small level of comfort.
'I...I loved you.  I came back for you!'  Nick's
adam's apple bobbed in his agonized state.

'Nick, I waited.  I tried, I loved you more than life
itself.'  Brandon leaned in for a touchless kiss.
Nick felt the cold wind brush his tender pink lips.
'But that's not what I came here to do.'  Brandon once
again flashed Nick a huge grin and hopped off the
gravestone, light as a feather.  'I came here to say
hi.'  Brandon turned around and held his hand out to
Nick.

'Hi'  Nick smiled lovingly as he played along with
their invisible dance.

'You look great, by the way.'  Brandon leaned back to
look at Nick from head to toe.  'You been workin' out
babe?'

'Yeah, a little.'  Nick shrugged, dancing along with
Brandon under the silver streams of the brilliant
moonlight.

'Nick, what have you been doing to yourself?'  Brandon
leaned in and kissed Nick lightly on the lips.

'Brandon...I miss you so much, I can't live like this
anymore.  I want to be with you again,'  Nick
whimpered.

'Whoa, there baby, don't you go there.  Besides, you
and I will always be together,'  Brandon leaned back
and kissed Nick lightly on the chest.  'We'll always
be in our hearts Nick.  Don't you ever forget that.'
Brandon started to pull away gently, dragging Nick
behind him by the hand.

'Brandon, I -- '  Nick was interrupted.

'Make love to me one last time, Nick, one last
time...'  Brandon led Nick into Nick's living room
infront of the fireplace just like before on their
very first time together.  'I love you Nick...'

Brandon whispered, before his image gave way to a
kaliedoscopic view of their first night together.

{End of Dream and the bright morning of the following
day}

Nick awoke feeling refreshed, like some heavy burden
was taken off his shoulders, not knowing what his
dream was, but Brandon's last words still rang
lovingly in his mind.  He smiled lovingly and looked
out the streaming sunlight through his windows.

"I love you too, Brandon."  Nick whispered into the
house of their immortal love and got up to get ready
for school.
*******************************************************
[Back in Atlanta real time]

Jane scrambled from employee to employee trying to
find any information on the tall bodyguard's location.
 Her heart pounded like a drum with fear and anxiety.
She must find him.  She has to!  Tears burned behind
her eyes, but she held them back.  'There's no real
reason to panic just yet,'  She told herself.

{Flashback, yesterday at the Terminal in New York}

"I don't do idle threats, boy, you listening?"  Jane
was starting to lose her composure.  John had just
been staring at her while she made her litany.  If she
didn't know better, she thought that John was actually
stifling a smile.  "What is so funny?"  Jane finally
let her smile wilt at the ends and prodded John on his
huge muscular chest with a finger.

John caught her hand in his.  This time, he allowed
his smile to show through.  John leaned down and
stared Jane in the eye and said, "Just try it, Jane.
Go ahead and try it.  Nobody here likes you more than
I do.  Try me Jane and you'll definitely see what not
having your son around can do to someone like me."
There was something in his voice that made Jane gasp.
"Trust me, Jane, there really won't be a next time.
You can count on that."  His smile disappeared and was
replaced by such an intense gaze from his deep jet
black eyes, that it made Jane's skin want to crawl
away and hide someplace.

{Today, 15 minutes earlier}

Jane started her frantic search only a few minutes
earlier when she had arrived at the hotel where Mike
was staying.  One of the desk hands at the front had
handed her a small stack of papers that had apparently
arrived for her early in the morning.  It had a large
bold letters on it that announced its urgency.  It was
from David, the reporter who she had bought to try and
coax Nick into either returning with the Backstreet
Boys or handing the torch over to his younger brother,
Aaron.

She had been annoyed at not being contacted the minute
of its arrival through the fax, but the desk hand had
told her that she just got it herself from someone who
went off duty just before she walked in.  Jane had
taken the bundle into her hands grudgingly only giving
a barely audible murmer of "thank you" to the girl
before heading off to the elevators.  She was a
celebrity mom, and she wasn't just for anyone below
her station to talk to on a regular basis.  She had
waited until the last passenger had gotten off before
she decided to skim through the latest progress of
their efforts.  But after only a few minutes of
skimming, she was already well aware that it was not
about Nick's return that was the concern of this new
fax.  It was something else.  Indeed, it did involve
Nick, but it was deadly information and it was her son
now who was in danger.  She had hated -- and still
does -- his choice of a lifestyle, but all of that had
gone out the window the minute she read through the
first paragraphs of the fax.

{End of short flash, back to real time}

Jane became desperate, finally reaching the doorstep
to Mike's hotel suite.  She burst through the door
unceremoniously, stepping into an apparent meeting
between Mike, Burc the head bodyguard, and Leighanne.

They all stopped whatever they were doing and looked
belligerently at Jane.  A moment of an uncomfortable
fell over them like a veil with only the sounds of
Jane's panting and her frantic heartbeat echoing over
the entire room.

"Jane, I was just about to --- "  Mike was the first
to decide and break the silence, but Jane quickly
interupted him.

"Where is he?"  Jane gulped down a big breath of hotel
room air.

"Who 'he'?"  Mike looked at his co-conspirators.

"John.  Where is he?!"  Jane cried out, finally
managing to scramble closer to the threesome.

"Um, well,"  Mike looked at Burc and said.  "Well, he
took the week off, Jane.  He left late last night.
Why?"

"Where?"  Jane looked up at Mike pleadingly.

"He said he was headed home to deal with some family
problems."  It was Burc who replied, taking the hint
from his boss.  "I believe he lives somewhere in the
northwest?  Why?"  Burc asked frostily.

"Home?"  Jane looked at Burc for a moment, feeling a
slight relief in her chest.

"Yeah, he went to the airport like around 3:00 to
catch their earliest flight out."  Burc suddenly
frowned.  "Although, I did think he said he might Nick
a visit in Florida sometime soon though."

"NO!"  Jane cried loud, finally thrusting the small
bundle of papers in her hands into Mike's surprised
chest.  "No..."  She cried underneath her breath
before she was overcomed by sobs and tears.

Mike took a look at the papers and paled.  "Burc, get
me the police."  He finally said his eyes sunken
suddenly with the realisation of a new fear.
*******************************************************
[Airport: Police]

"Sorry, but they said they haven't seen him at all.
Infact, even the last witness who saw him leave said
he didn't come this way at all."  Mike came back to
the group looking somewhat regained from his fear.

"Oh God, this is all my fault..."  Jane cried again.

"They said these were the only things they found in
his belongings."  Mike handed a small manila envelope
to Jane.

Brian took the message with numb fingers.  He had
immediately recognized it as the same envelope that
had earlier contained the information to bribe Nick
into returning.

Brian swallowed when he realised that his instant
reaction had been correct.  "Shit."  Brian cursed
under his breath.  This was no time to be the wreck
that he had been since Nick left.  Why had they all
missed all this before?!

"Shit!"  Brian cursed again, this time for everybody
to hear, before he himself was off running towards the
closest gate that had a flight to Florida.

In his haste, he had dropped the manilla envelope,
scattering the pictures all over the floor.

Leighanne picked up the pictures and explained them to
Mike and the others what they had been intended for
while Burc made a dash after Brian.
*******************************************************

[Some minutes later]

Nick bounded down the steps and headed cheerfully to
the kitchen for breakfast.  He noticed the light on
his answering machine was blinking, and was just about
to make his way to it when the door bell rang.

"Just a minute,"  Nick checked his watch to see if it
was as early as he had thought.  'Hmm, who could it be
this early in the morning.  I thought my gates were
locked?'  Nick thought that the security guard must've
opened the gates already.  "Who is...,"  Nick opened
the door to a pleasant surprise, "JOHN!"  Nick threw
his arms around his old bodyguard and friend in a
tight embrace and lightly kissed him on the cheek
cheerfully.  "What brings you here?  And sorry 'bout
that."  Nick smiled warmly at his friend.

"Oh, just in the neighborhood, thought I'd drop by say
hi or something.  Mike didn't really need me stumbling
around up there without you anyways,"  John returned
the hug but declined on the kiss.  "How have you been?
 You going somewhere?"

"To school actually,"  Nick released John and welcomed
him into the house.  Something seemed a bit off.
"Hold on, I have to check my messages real quick,
maybe school's out and you and I can do something fun
instead."  Nick smiled and winked at John boyishly and
headed to the machine.  "Must've been while I was in
the shower.  Make yourself comfortable."  He called
over his shoulder, seeing John shut and quietly lock
the door.

"NICK!  Nick, oh God, pick up honey, pick up!"  Jane's
frantic voice erupted after the beep.  "Oh God, baby
if you can here this, pick up!  John's ----"  The
message was suddenly cut off.

"Mom?"  Nick picked up the phone and started to press
speed dial, then looked up.  "Phone's dead..."  Nick
whispered, he was starting to feel like something was
terribly wrong when police sirens suddenly blared from
some few blocks away.  "Cops?"  Nick was stunned and
walked over to the window.  He was starting to get
scared.

Nick sensed John walk up behind him.

"John, what's -- "  Nick couldn't finish because
John's huge hand was suddenly around his mouth and
nose holding a handkerchief that reeked of something.

"Nick, I'm sorry..."  John wrapped his strong arms
around Nick and braced himself from Nick's struggling.

Nick's eyes suddenly went wide when he realised that
it wasn't just plain anxiety he saw now in John's eyes
but a desperation.  A mixed emotion of loss, regret,
and confusion.

"I'm so so sorry, Nick..."  Nick remembered John
whispering sadly before the world and everything in it
suddenly spun around him and he went crashing down
into darkness.

TBC in Part 13b
"Final Revelations II"

Tell me what you think