Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 20:55:52 +0800
From: yuli <busta@yifan.net>
Subject: Busta 13

Disclaimer: This is all fiction, the characters only exist in my head.

Warning: As usual, no sex. ;) and a good imagination is needed. :D oh
and IT'S NOT FINISH YET! :b sorry.

Summary: [If all good things would always come to an end, logic would
state that all bad things would come to an end too.]

People to thank
I need to thank Raz for the mails, I left out her name in the previous
chapter. I'm sorry, it's the age thing you see. ;b
I'd like to thank Achane, first for the encouraging letters, then for
the humorous stuff you said, and finally for the story you've wrote.
[Don't say you love me] so Thank you very much for being you. :) [Is the
story ready?]
I'd like to thank Jay, [starts to bow] thank you, if it's not for your
story [deceiving secrets] Busta would never had came out from under the
bed. Thank you. ;)
I got a new reader named Colleen, :) I'm flattered. :D frankly, I would
still be procrastinating till Colleen wrote. It was like an alarm clock
to remind me to write. :) so thanks Colleen. :D [is the story ready?]

Person to appologise to
Dear RoyalBSB,
Sorry, for this very late acknowledgement. I didn't check my
N'sync_Online mails anymore thus didn't know that you've sent a letter
to me. As always, I'm flattered and honored that others like my story,
I appologise for not thanking you soon. Sorry.
and also an appology to all those that was not mentioned. i'm sorry.

People I'm grateful for.
Ton, Jon, Jam, Clive and Keith. They are all writers who had written
touching pieces of story...though like me they procratinate a lot
[hint! Hint!]
And before I end, to Matt, :) I'm surprise that you still remembered a
silly fan like me. :D thank you.

This story was written after inspiration and help from Jordan. [He
wrote Jordan's confession part] :D So a big thank you to you. :D

Ok ok, I'm done now. Don't throw anymore tomatoes at me. ;b

Busta 13:

The room seems to be suspended in animation when Lance uttered those
words. Lance? Killed someone? Lance? The guy that prays for world peace
killed someone? The guy that would stop the Limo just to save some
stray cat from getting abuse killed someone?

After thinking for a long moment I concluded. "Nah! You didn't kill
anyone, it's your eyesight again." I reminded him, patting his hands at
the same time.

Lance's answer was in the form of the sad look on his face as he turned
to me and hide his face from the others by huggin me to his chest.

'Yeah, yeah, Busta the human pillow. How degrading.' I sighed then
barked at JC, "Excuse me, your pillow needs hugging, shouldn't YOU be
doing the job?"

JC, being not blond, smartly took my advice and hugged Lance's body
from behind.

But Jim 'the rock' Ellison came to the rescue of us two human pillows
by asking, "Can you explain what had happened?"

"Can we do this some other time?" snapped JC, letting Lance go from his
comforting hug.

"Woah! Who took your bone?" I asked in surprise. Frankly, I don't
understand why humans are so emotional. They cry too much, or they yell
at each other too much. 'Don't you guys have other things better to
do...like being happy?'

"JC," started my master.

"Some other time!" JC hissed at my master.

"[Grrrrr]" I growled my disapproval but was prevented from fulfilling
any of my punishment towards JC as I was held on tightly by Lance who
is now clutching himself as if in pain.

"If we don't do this now..." my master tried to explain his logic.

"Chris!" warns JC, this time flames seems to be shooting out of his
eyes. [AN: JC very angry]

"Guys?" said hairball in his beta-dog position. "Calm down, it's not
necessary to be all Alpha in this discussion."

"The DISCUSSION, is over." Snapped JC.

"The DISCUSSION haven't begun yet!" snapped Chris, "How long do we have
to drag this!"

"please," pleaded the small voice that's hugging me.

"As long as it takes!" said JC, now letting Lance go and waving his
fist in front of me Master's face.

"stop it," pleaded the small voice again.

"Um, humans?" I barked.

"The longer you drag it, the later the wounds would heal!" snapped me
master, leaning his chest forward and almost growling.

"stop screaming," the voice whispers again.

"This is how you do it," I said, then at the top of my voice I barked
loudly. "CUCUMBER IS CRYING!! SO STOP SHOUTING!!!"

"Busta!" they snapped at me, both faces red from those anger, then
quickly lose those redness when they saw Lance's trembling form.

"James," said JC in a softer tone as he leans down to hug his lover's
trembling body.

"Lance?" asked me master in concern as he leans in to touch the
cucumber's arm.

"Don't fight," the cucumber said in a begging tone, with one hand
holding carrot's hands and the other holding me Master's hands as he
repeated. "Don't fight."

"we're not fighting," assured me master quickly.

"Yeah honey, we're not fighting...we're just...um" he turned his eyes
to me Master's eyes, begging for an excuse for their primitive
behavior.

"Having a discussion at a very loud voice." I suggested.

My master nods his head in a thinking mode before saying, "We're just
having a discussion at a very loud voice." And his face broke to a wide
grin making Lance chuckle.

'That's my Master for you!' I beamed proudly. 'He's the smartest human
I've ever met and he can always do the most important thing in the
world. To make another human smile.' "You're the best master." I barked
happily as I wagged my tail. [AN: Author makes gagging sound]

"We're done for today." Said James suddenly, closing his notebook and
placing his pen back. Then taking Lance's hands, his eyes warmed to
those green-blue eyes in-front of his blue ones. "Rest now, I'll go
back and do my job and find those people that hurt you and that boy we
found."

Lance looked at Jim and smiled gratefully, "Thank you."

"Jim?" Blair made a motion to follow him.

"Stay," said Jim, reminding me of me Master when he said the words to
me. And obidiently, hairball did as told and that got him a smile and a
nod of appreciation before he left.

The air was again free of noises after Jim left, I waited for a moment
before filling up the place with a bark. Which, as usual, got some
response from them.

"So...um, where's the others?" asked Blair.

"great move." I complimented. It's important, now, to ask safe
questions so as not to trigger any more outburst from the childrens in
this room.

"Joey and Justin is out making news so that Lance's news will not get
out of this room." Replied JC, his hands rubbing Lance's back, soothing
him.

"Making news?" asked Blair, further supplimenting my 'more hair
therefore less brain' theory.

"Making news," started me Master, always the patient one. "Joey is out
drinking himself silly and showing up in all the parties and pubs he
could find, while Justin is out walking around with Britney."

Blair nods his head thougtfully, "I understand. With the news following
them, no one would be disturbing us...but what's the news for Joey? I
mean, what's the big deal about being in pubs and parties?"

JC shook his head, "Joey is there so that when they need a comment on
Justin he could shook his head and say, 'no comment'" JC drool at the
last word, mimiking Joey when he's not in a good mood. That got a small
giggle from Lance's tired worried face.

"There, there. See, doesn't it feel better to be smiling then crying
all the time." I said as I pat Lance's legs, "So don't worry so much,
just be happy."

Lance smile at my attention and gently stroke my body, making me purr
in delight. Then looking up at his boyfriend he asked, "Anyone called
Johnny yet?"

"Um..." JC said, lining his lips, raising his eyebrows and looking at
me Master for help.

"hmm..." said me Master helpfully.

"Nah, they've got better things to do. Like help you recover from
this." I helped out, hoping to ease their guilt.

But it didn't help them at all, as shown by the frowns appearing on
Lance's forehead. "JC! Does Johnny know what's happening at all?"

"Remember the day we decided to drive down to Chris' place?" started JC
nervously, "Well...I kinda...forget to tell him where we would be."

"What! Josh," scolded Lance, "I told you to inform him. He's having a
tough time looking out for us now, it's not nice to give him more
problems."

"I'll tell him tonight." Said JC quickly, hoping to end the lecture.

"Joshua, go call him now. He needs to know this...most importantly he
needs to know how to handle my parents when they ask where I've been."
Said Lance, now looking very much like a tomato from all his
fustration.

"Johnny's with his family now. They're at their holiday resort." Said
me Master then pausing and looking at the both of them before
explaining. "So you can't actually speed dial for him."

Lance sigh and shook his head then say, "His number is in my organizer
which is at the..."

"Right side of your bag, the one with the green zipper." We finished
the words for him, making him blush this time with embarrasement and we
laughing at him.

"You're just so damn cute." Said JC as he kisses his beloved cucumber
to the point where his toes curl up. Then releasing him he said, "I
know you're not gonna give up until I call Johnny, so you stay put with
Chris and I'll be right back after I explain stuffs."

"I'll go with you." Said me Master, "You don't know the area well, and
it's my car." Then holding up his hands to prevent further protest,
"Don't worry, Blair's here and so is Busta, he's safe." Then in an
insisting manner he dragged JC out of the room. "Come on JC, the longer
we drag this, the later it would be for you to come back."

"Don't pull me." Protested JC as his figure left the room full of
humans chuckling at him.

At this time, a nurse came in and announced that it's time for Lance to
take his needles. Blair excused himself and encouraged Lance to sleep
while promising that he would be here when Lance woke up. Me being the
small dog I am, napped shortly after Lance's heartbeat slowed down to
sleeping form....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Few Hours later]

"Lance?" called out a soft soothing voice.

"It's not meal time yet," I mumbled and grumbled and turned and snored.

"They ran out of hot coco, so I got you some chicken soup instead."
Continued the voice.

"It's ok, thank you Blair." Said the the cucumber with his deep booming
voice.

After some long pauses where I finally settled my brain to sleep mode
they decided to talk. [sigh] the life of a dog is tough.

"Aren't you going to ask anything at all?" started cucumber.

I open one of my lazy eyes and see hairball gave him a lazy and relaxed
grin.

"Do you have anything to say?" asked hairball instead.

I grumbled and mumbled again, then waited for Lance to say something,
and almost regreated the wish for it cos' his words was so bizzar.

"Jordan is not a bad person..." he said, twirling the plastic spoon in
his bowl.

Blair nods his head slowly trying to understand the implication of the
words.

"Of course not." I barked, "He's a crazy person, not a bad person." I
corrected him. Being deprived of my sleep I can be very sarcastic or
nasty depending on the person beside me...No wait, I'm sarcastic and
nasty all the time. :D

"I mean, he's crazy I can give him that. But...he's not a bad person.
He didn't hurt me or try anything funny...he...he actually cared about
me..." continued Lance.

"Excuse me? Halo! He almost killed us with that stun in the box. Don't
you remember?" I protested, but was calmed down by the big cucumber
hand on my cubby little head. [mumble] "Well, as long as you
remembered."

"Tell me about him." Said Blair, "What did you guys talk about when we
couldn't find you."

Lance looked to Blair's sincer eyes and gave him a weak smile. As he
contined to stroke my head he begun his story.

"I was very scared of him...He was nuts. In his mind he said I knew him
and that I've protected him...he said I was the reason he's alive...I
don't know what to say to that, I only knew that this is the guy that
tried to kill Josh and it's all because of me."

"Was that the reason why you left with him?" interrupted Blair.

"Shuu, no talking." I scolded Blair and that got a smile from Lance.

Lance nods his head, "That was the reason why I left with him...I
suggested that we got married and all that stuffs...He was angry with
Josh and wanted to kill him...I couldn't let him hurt my Joshua...I had
to go with him."

"Which was very brave of you, but also very stupid cos' you would have
gotten hurt." Said Blair slowly and carefully so that he doesn't look
like he's going to hurt Lance.

Lance shook his head, "No, you don't understand. I can't let him hurt
Josh. He's more important to me than my own life. I can't risk that."

"Ok ok," I said and licked his hands, "It's ok Lancy, you don't have to
look so red. We understand. Right hairball!"

"Hey," started Blair as he got out of his seat and hugged Lance,
"Relaxed, I know what you mean."

"I...No Josh...No life...I..." his hands felt cold on my fur as his
body trembled with his words.

"I understand," said Blair patting his back and slowly calming Lance
down. "It's ok...I do understand...I wouldn't suggest it again...It's
ok." He repeated it over and over again till Lance's body stopped
trembling and his hands stop hurting itself from all the clutching.
When Blair finally release Lance from his hug, the cucumber now look
more like a cucumber than the tomato he had become.

"Yeah, anyone who sees both of you would understand." I explained as I
nuzzle his hands and licked it.

Blair sat back on his seat and smiled at Lance, "Anyone who had seen
the both of you together would know that you're meant for each other."

Lance gave a weak smile then say, "Well...Jordan didn't like the
idea...he didn't like the idea at all..."

"Wanna talk about it?" asked Blair, carefully, again.

"Jordan...when we were on our way to the church he said a lot of things
to me...I asked him...how did we met and...and about his life..."

"What did he say?" asked Blair.

Lance looked at Blair's encouraging eyes and allowed his mind to wander
into the recent past.

~~~~~~~~~
[The story]

We've been traviling for the past 3 hours in darkness, when I finally
awaken it was near dawn. If it wasn't for the company, I would smiled
and said halo to the beautiful sight before me, instead I wondered if
it would be the last dawn I see...

"Comfortable?" asked the person that held my freedom in his hands.

"Yeah," I replied in cheerfulness that I know not of. 'Josh,' I
reminded myself and gave him a small smile. Which he gave me back.
Truthfully, he's not bad looking. With his boyish charm, cupid-bow
lips, deep brown eyes and button nose, he could give Justin a run for
his money. The only problem, I guess, is he's nuts.

"Tell me about yourself." I said, then quickly added, "so that I could
remember."

Jordan gave me a smile that lits up his face as he began. "During my
highschool days I'm some kind of a popular jock."

Looking at his huge muscular body I hazard a guess, "Football?"

Jordan grin and nods his head stupidly, almost fooling me to think that
he's sane. "Yeah, I was a quaterback, and a damn good one...didn't do
too bad in my studies either..."

Jordan's eyes dazed away for a moment before he continued about his
past, " I was pretty popular in school... I mean, the high school
quarterback, good looking, dated the head cheerleader got good
grades..."

"Y-you dated a girl?" I asked, stupified by this declaration. [Reader
please take note that Lance never attended Highschool before thus was
never pressured by society to date.]

Jordan just laughed. "Yeah, I used to date girls in high school, I had
to..."

There was silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Everything was going great for me....it was almost perfect..."

"Almost?" I questioned warily, the glazed look on his face worried me.

He sighed. "Things change."

I wanted to ask Jordan about it, but the expression on his face told me
not  to push him. He'd tell me when he was ready. It was weird... I
know he was crazy and all, but when we were alone just talking, he was-
- he was almost normal.

~~~~~~
[The interruption]

Busta interrupts the story to snort and make protesting remark about
Jordan being normal.

"I don't think Busta likes him too much." Said Blair with a chuckle as
he stroke Busta to a more calming emotion.

"I don't think so either." Said Lance with an equally amused smile.

"[Woof! Woof! Woof!] [Grumble! Mumble!]" said Busta as he frowns at the
obviously much more simple minded humans before him.

~~~~~~~~
[Back to the story]

It was quite awhile before Jordan broke the quiet tension he had
created. "I've always known I liked guys you know... no matter how hard
I tried to like girls and be normal, I knew." He said.

The pain in his voice spoke volumes, I felt so sorry for him right
then. I completely understood how he was feeling, in a weird way I felt
close to him.

[Busta rolls eyes in disdain]

"Like I said I was dating the head cheerleader, a very nice girl named
Sarah. We had been going out for months but it was really no more than
a friendship between us. Lately I knew she could tell things were just
not working out. Everything hit the fan one day when she caught me
checking out one of the guys on the swim team, we were at a swim meet
and I was totally getting a hard on for this guy." He hung his head
somewhat still focusing on the road, his eyes never leaving it.

"She was shocked at first, she asked me what I was looking at, I tried
to lie but she knew me too well. Sarah asked me why I was checking out
a guy and I had no idea what to tell her. I tried to deny it again but
she just got angrier. She asked me if I was bi and I said no. Then she
asked me if I was gay. I couldn't say anything." As he sat there
recounting the tale from his past I could see a single tear roll down
his cheek.

"I never knew a person so sweet and kind could be so cold and cruel. In
retrospect I guess it was just the pain talking. It was at that moment
that she knew she was never anything more than a friend to me. I guess
I really hurt her. She started screaming at me, yelling obscenities and
saying she wanted nothing to do with me. More specifically she wanted
nothing to do with a cocksucking, fudgepacking, faggot mother fucker
*sigh* I had never in my life been so scared."

"I wasn't afraid of her exactly..." he started to explain, "but of
everyone else. Once she started yelling I realized it wouldn't be long
before we drew a crowd and the entire school knew about it." Jordan
gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white.

He clenched his teeth and continued. "I sure was right about that
one." He spat out. "The second she walked away I was confronted with a
fist to the face, shortly followed by a few more to my chest and
stomach. "We don't like fags around here." They were saying. I curled
into a fetal position and just took the blows to ashamed to defend
myself. I had always thought that because I was popular it meant I had
a lot of friends, the next day at school I found out who my real
friends were... no one."

By this point in the story I think I was crying more than he was. I
couldn't believe how awful some people can be.

~~~~~~~~~
[Interruption of story again]

Lance got a far away look in his eyes and Blair placed a comforting
hand on his shoulder, silently urging him to continue. He nodded his
head solemnly.

Busta frown in confusion to the cruelty that humans. "[Woof! Woof!
Woof!]" (Translated to : "I don't get it, you're of the same species
right? So why do you guys like to hit each other so much?")

"Despite the situation, at that moment I wasn't scared of him anymore.
I just wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay."
Started Lance, explaining while fiddling his fingers.

"Did you?" Blair asked.

"No." Lance said quietly before resuming his story. Like I said, I
wanted to, but I didn't. I just told him I was sorry. Jordan tried to
smile and looked over at me quickly. I could tell that he was a bit
embarrassed to be crying in front of me.

~~~~~~~~~`
[Back to regular program]

He wiped his face with his sleeve and tried to keep going without
sounding so emotional. "So anyway, a week had gone by and still the
only people who would talk to me were those that had to. Even then I
could hear the obscenities they muttered under their breaths. I was
afraid to go out and even quit football because the other guys were
still taking every opportunity they could to beat on me." He laughed
bitterly. "Ya know, I went from being a popular, athletic, honor roll
student to being a lonely, pathetic, high school drop out in less than
a month? MY parents thought I was on drugs..."

He clenched the wheel again, "When they found out the real reason they
wished they would be so lucky." He turned to face me, "Can you believe
that? They'd rather believe that their son was on drugs than a
homosexual?"

~~~~~~~~
[Interruption time by Busta]

"Jordan looked so pained, so vulnerable. At that point of moment I
couldn't really feel nothing but sadness and sympathey for him." Said
Lance with his sad face, looking very much like a mother.

"ok ok, I agree that it's a very sad story and all. But does this give
him to right to hurt me? No! does this give him the right to take you
away from JC? No! does this give him the right to want to kill someone?
No! thus in conclusion, he's anything BUT vulnerable." I patiently
tries to explain to him.

Blair reach out and took Lance's hands into his and said, "But he has
no right to hurt you."

Lance look to his wise looking friend and nods his head, whispering, "I
know."

Blair nods encouragingly before saying, "And then what happen?"

~~~~~~~~~~
[Regular story]

"Suffice it to say it wasn't long before my parents kicked me out.
I went through a really bad time there for a while, I was ready to kill
myself but you helped me out of it. You saved my life." With that he
put his hand on mine and for the first time since I met him I didn't
mind.

Though I was utterly confused by the words he had said, thus I asked,
"I helped you?"

Jordan looked at me weirdly then say, "Yes you did...didn't you
remember any of this? It's the most important thing in our
relationship, all this communication...are you still thinking of that
other guy!"

I fumbled for a reply but tried to sound confident, "I know but remind
me. I like to be here for you baby." Then waving my hand, "There is no
other guy." And gave him my megawatt smile.

He just smiled again. "Okay." I was just happy he bought it.

"I was really gonna kill myself that night but then I heard the most
wonderful music, I don't know why but something about it made me feel
better. The radio had just played GMHS and I was just drawn to it. It
gave me hope. I ran out and bought your CD that night, it became my
salvation."

At this moment, I was stunned. I've heard fan stories before but
Jordan's words really touched me. I mean, we literally stopped him from
killing himself. Our song, our music was the pulling factor that
prevented him from taking his life. There's nothing as gratifing as
that so I told him so. He didn't seem to like the fact that I said we,
he put more emphasis on me than he did the other guys.

"Yeah, YOU really saved my life. And then later on when we met again
from the music, it was like a miracle, you rescued me again." At that
point he recounted the whole story of how we first met, became friends,
and then lovers... it was quite a tale. It reminded me how insane
Jordan really was.

Lance looked oddly sad.

"So he really did believe you two were in love?" Blair questioned.

"Yup. That's how I know he would have never hurt me. In the end he died
saving my life." Lance started crying again.

#######################################################################

ok, that's the end of that chapter. Gees, I didn't realize it would be
that long and difficult.
Anywas, I belive that some of you would be very pissed of by the
interruption part. Well the reason is because I don't like sad stories.
So the interruption is to lessen the impact of all the sadness in the
stories.
Anyways, that's the end for now. Please mail me to comment or curse. :)
ciao and take care.
Next part will be the funeral. A short part with an appropriate song.
oh and ps: the replies to the mails would be late cos' i'm going to HK. :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So Long as we love, we serve.
So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~