Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 19:23:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: NCfan <ngclle@yahoo.com>
Subject: Boy bands/ Calming Waters 3

First off, I would like to say thanks to David and Nifty for putting up my
story.  I think this is an excellent web site with very wonderful and
touching stories.

Disclaimer: Well, this is my third installment.  Again, this is purely a
work of fiction.  I do not know the orientation of any of the BSB or Nsync!


***********

Within minutes, Nick was pushed onto the ground against his will.  Nick
tried to cry out for the kidnapper to stop, but his words were muffled by
the kidnapper's tongue as it entered Nick's mouth.  Nick fought to keep
himself from biting the kidnapper's tongue as he struggled to push the
kidnapper away from him.

But the kidnapper seemed to be wrapped up in his own world as his hands
roamed Nick's whole body.  The man was twice as strong as Nick.  Nick soon
found himself pinned on the ground as the man reached for his boxers.  Nick
felt a little pressure and soon, the boxers were gone, flung elsewhere
where Nick could not reach them.  Nick panicked.  The seemingly nice
kidnapper was turning into a maniac right before his eyes.

As time passed by, Nick struggled even harder, but that did not deter the
kidnapper's lust.  The man continued to press on Nick's body, rubbing and
stroking Nick until Nick felt his skin burn from the friction.  Never once
did their lips part.  Ten minutes seemed to pass before Nick began to give
in to exhaustion.  Unfortunately, the kidnapper interpreted Nick's suddenly
yielding behavior as a sign of desire.

He pushed his lips harder against Nick's, savoring the touch of Nick's
gentle lips on his.  His legs were completely wrapped around Nick's legs as
he grinded his groins into Nick's.  By now, Nick was completely naked while
the kidnapper was still completely dressed. Gradually, the kidnapper
decreased the force he used to pin Nick down.  To his horror, he had
pressed so hard on Nick's arms that once he lifted his hands, Nick's skin
was slightly bruised.

That was when the kidnapper felt the tears slipping down Nick's face one by
one.  That was when the man began to doubt his actions.  The kidnapper
looked, dumbfounded, not knowing whether they were tears of fear, of
frustration or of anger.  Immediately, as if struck by lightning, the man
got off of Nick to give him some air.  The moment his weight was removed,
he saw Nick back away from him.

The kidnapper's face turned a shade of crimson as the guilt began to gnaw
at him.  He looked around to see Nick's boxers beside him, and in an effort
to show his repentance, he grabbed the boxers and went over to Nick.  By
now, Nick was shaking uncontrollably, his mind seemingly lost.  The
kidnapper knelt beside Nick and placed the boxers on Nick's legs, but the
handsome young boy only whimpered at the touch.

To the kidnapper, Nick seemed to be lost in another world.  His wet eyes
were a shade darker than they were an hour ago.  When the kidnapper
realized that Nick was not going to put on the boxers himself, the
kidnapper grabbed them and started to thread Nick's legs through them.
Nick's body remained immobile the whole time, which made the kidnapper even
more disturbed.

He cursed himself for letting his lust get out of hand like that.  He had
to control himself.  It wasn't the right time, nor the right place.  The
kidnapper looked back at Nick's youthful face and raised his hand to
lightly stroke it.  Just as his fingers brushed Nick's cheeks, Nick
suddenly came out of his trance and pushed the kidnapper away.

With great effort, Nick stood up and ran wildly through the trees back to
his safe haven.  And all the while, the tears streamed down his face even
more.  The kidnapper was in pursuit, hoping to calm Nick down before he
alarmed the others.  Within a few hundred feet, the kidnapper grabbed
Nick's arms as forcefully as he could without making Nick panic.  He
swirled Nick around and hugged him tightly, pushing Nick's face into his
chest.

To his surprise, Nick did not fight back. Nick's breaths were blowing into
his chest rapidly.  The kidnapper began to stroke the teenager's silk-like
hair, something he used to do when he calmed down his pets back at home.
Not that he thought of Nick as a pet, but he felt like they were of two
different worlds.  And the language barrier didn't help.  He could totally
understand English, but his tongue was not lucid enough to speak it.

Once he was sure that Nick had recovered from the incident, he let his grip
loosen.  Nick's body slumped backwards a little with his eyes focused on
the weeds on the ground.  Without another word, Nick slowly walked back to
the forest where Brian and Lance were waiting for them.  The kidnapper did
not hold him back this time.

As the two walked side by side in the night, Nick couldn't help but feel
the discomfort.  The past few minutes had been a haze to him.  In fact, the
past week didn't seem real at all.

He remembered how the night before, he had woken up in the middle of the
night, crying.  It was not the nightmare he had, but the memories triggered
by the nightmare, that had aroused feelings of despair once again.  He was
afraid to tell anybody, especially Brian, mainly because he was ashamed.
He didn't want to admit to Brian or Lance even though they were the two
people that held him together at this moment.  He didn't feel secure enough
to tell them about his childhood, about how many men had paid his very own
father so that they could 'play with his body'.

He was ashamed to tell them about how poor his family had been, so poor to
the point that his father would bargain with other men for nights out with
Nick.  These men were, on the most part, social outcasts who reveled in
illicit sex.  They would pay his father fifty dollars a night with Nick
just to see Nick do anything and everything they desired--strip, have sex
with one of them or have sex with groups of them at a time.

Nick, at first, was scared.  But after a while, he became used to that
life.  He became "professional" in these men's eyes.  When Nick had finally
joined the BSB, he was happy, hoping that the money he made would be enough
so that his father didn't have to continue these cheap bargains.  Well,
that life was left behind, to Nick's relief. He had abstained from
everything sexual in the past 7 years, which he had to admit, he was very
proud of.  He wasn't ready, not just yet.  Otherwise, he would have
accepted Justin's offer two nights ago.  It had been tempting, but he
didn't want to reduce their close friendship to sheer lust.

Both groups knew of his orientation.  He never kept it a secret from them.
But he was still very shy about talking about his sexuality in front of
them.  If there was anybody he felt safe with, it would be Brian and Lance.
Every time they looked at him, there was a hint of love in their eyes.
Nick could sense it.  They cared for him like a very close brother.  He
never would trade that in for anything.  But some of the things they did
was simply ludicrous; he thought back to the time they tried to find out
that he was gay.

Nick's thoughts drifted back to the present.  He casted a sideways glance
at the 6'6" blond man and shuddered.  He was a little calmer than before,
realizing that the kidnapper was not as irrational and psychotic as his
actions suggested a while ago.  But he was scared nevertheless--scared of
what would have happened if the kidnapper had gone all the way with him.
He wasn't ready, not yet.  He felt that the kidnapper wasn't as evil as
Brian and Lance thought.  Nick could sense the goodness in him.  But Nick
couldn't really say that he had feelings for the man.

In fact, Nick had been so comfortable with his sexual abstinence that he
hadn't learned how to love in the past 7 years.  He was afraid that with
love came sex, and he was to scared to relive the memories.  But even
though he had refrained from thinking about it, Justin's proposal two
nights ago had started a series of body memories in his mind.  And they
were memories of mental and physical pain.

But when will he be ready?  Or will he always be in limbo, waiting for a
peace that will never come to him?  As Nick thought of this, he began to
shake again.  He hugged himself, suddenly realizing that his clothes were
not draped over him.  Then he remembered-Lance, in his panic, had let his
clothes drop into the flames!  A feeling of panic began to take over Nick.
He hated being exposed like this.  It only took the kidnapper a few seconds
to remove the rest of his clothes a few moments ago.  That thought was
scary.

Nick looked over to the kidnapper who stared back with concern on his face.
The kidnapper had seen Nick's shudder and took his shirt off.  Nick made a
motion for the kidnapper to stop, but the man continued removing his shirt
and offering it to Nick.  When Nick refused one more time, the man draped
the shirt over Nick and Nick stopped fighting.  The kidnapper smiled shyly
and turned his attention back on the road.  Nick felt grateful that the
kidnapper was so considerate.

In an effort to kill the silence, Nick said in a calm voice.  "I don't even
know your name yet."

The kidnapper looked pleasantly surprised at Nick's remark and answered in
a deep voice, "Moju."

"Moju?" Nick repeated, his thoughts now focused on the kidnapper.  "That's
. . . um . . . interesting."

The kidnapper had to smile at Nick's lack of words, but didn't offer a
reply.  Together they walked in silence, back to where Lance and Brian sat,
waiting for their return.

***********************

Brian laughed as Lance recovered from his traumatic experience.  "You
shrieked like there was no tomorrow!"

Lance glared at him.  "Well, if you saw that big . . . thing . . . you
wouldn't blame me."

"Woah Lance, you seem at a loss for words.  And let me remind you that Nick
was the one who was hanging onto that boa for dear life.  Did you hear him
scream?"  Brian countered, having fun at Lance's expense.

"Go ahead, be so unsupportive," Lance cried out.  "I happened to be very
scared of snakes.  It's a phobia, a real illness!"  Lance was not going to
back away.  "Besides, it nearly hurt Nick."

At that, Brian stopped laughing.  He looked to the bushes where the
kidnapper and Nick had gone off.  That was when he saw the dark ashes in
the flames.  "What's that?" Brian pointed to the burning clothes.  "Wait,
don't tell me. . . "

Lance cut him off.  "They're Nick's clothes."  Lance replied nervously.

"You took off his clothes?!!!!!" Now Brian flew into a fit of rage.
"That's. . . that's . .  underhanded.  How dare you?  I leave him with you
for less than two hours and the next thing I know, you've taken advantage
of him?"

"Brian, please," Lance cried out.  "You make it seem that I've raped him
already.  Of course I'm not that cruel.  I took his clothes off to dry
them.  He was getting wet and cold!"  Lance looked hurt that Brian would
have so little trust in him.  "I would never ever do anything to Nick
against his will.  Even if he's not my lover, he's my friend."

With those words said, Brian looked down, slightly ashamed that he let his
jealousy rage like that.  "Sorry, I'm just a little anxious when it comes
to Nick."

Lance smiled weakly.  "I think we both are, but . . . "

"But what?" Brian asked, curious.

"But what about him?  Any man in his right mind would know that both of us
like him a lot.  Yet why does he act as if our emotions aren't there?
Brian, I'm worried.  I'm starting to feel that he doesn't really have
anything for us."

"Nonsense, we just need to give him time."  Brian brushed off Lance's
words, afraid to believe in them.

"How much time?  Another 2 years?" Lance blurted out before he knew the
foolishness of his statement.  "Look, I didn't mean it like that.  I . . ."

"Are you giving up?" Brian asked hopefully.

Lance looked at the hope in Brian's eyes.  He looked to the trees.  "I
don't know.  I'm afraid to know how Nick feels about me.  I'm afraid that
he wouldn't return my love.  And you know what Brian, he can't return both
of our loves.  One of us will ultimately get hurt."

Brian's next words were barely a whisper, but Lance heard him loud and
clear.  "Or maybe, the both of us will come out hurt."

Lance knew exactly what Brian was talking about--the kidnapper.  "You think
that Nick will fall for him?"

Brian pondered the question.  "It's a scary thought.  I can't say that I
know what Nick looks for in an ideal mate since he has always been so shy
about that, but I sometimes think that he would go out for the really
mysterious, romantic ones since he's so romantic and adventurous himself."

Lance looked dejected.  "Is that why he refused to date anybody these past
years?  None of us were good enough for him?  None of us were the romantic,
mysterious type?"

Brian looked at Lance's sweet, but dejected face and felt a tightness
around his chest.  "I'm afraid.  I don't want it to be, but he's so wild
and carefree.  I mean when he was young, he'd go all out when he played
pranks.  He had so much energy.  And that's why we all loved him.  Lance,
he was a goofball, but he made us all laugh.  He made everyone fall in love
with him without even knowing it.  And sometimes, I think that I don't have
the same energy or spark as him.  I would pray every night that something
would make him change his mind or make him see me in a different light.
But there's so much excitement in his world that I wonder whether he'll
ever see me any different from the ten thousand other boring people that
surround him."

Lance looked at Brian, amazed at the way Brian described the situation.
"You know, it takes courage to fall in love with someone, but it also takes
courage to hold back and not force your love on that person as well."

Brian looked at Lance and smiled.  "You're gonna make me cry."

Before Lance could reply, they heard the footsteps as the kidnapper and
Nick walked back to their little haven.  Brian and Lance jumped up for joy,
knowing that Nick was safe, but both stopped in their tracks when they saw
the two.  Nick was wearing the man's shirt.  Worse, there was dirt all over
Nick's body and over the man's clothes, as if the two were goofing around
on the ground.  Not only that, their hair was disheveled.

Brian and Lance looked at each other with thoughts and images running
through their minds.  "Umm, are you okay, Nick?" Lance asked.

Nick looked at them shyly.  "I, uh, we, uh, the snake was rather heavy so
it took us a little extra effort to get it into the ditch."  With that,
Nick held onto the buttons of his shirt nervously.  He looked down, trying
to avert Brian's and Lance's gaze.  "I, um, I'm a little tired.  I just
want to sleep."  Before Brian and Lance could put in another word, Nick
walked past them and laid down next to the fire with the kidnapper's shirt
still draped over his body.

The kidnapper followed, but slept on the other side of the flames.

Brian and Lance stared in shock as they saw through Nick's lies.  Both
looked at Nick one more time only to see the evidence covering his whole
body.  The dirt completely covered his legs and both of them knew that his
boxers had been off at one point in the past hour.  It was simply an
intuition, but a powerful one.

Without saying a word, both of them walked over to the fire and laid down
together, far from Nick and from the kidnapper, hurt by the
revelations. Here they were, thinking of Nick day and night, and a total
stranger takes Nick's virginity away in less than a day!  Both Brian and
Lance closed their eyes, willing for sleep to come, and soon it overtook
them, taking their sadness and doubts away and casting a shadow of darkness
over them.  Both drifted off to a restless sleep as they fought hard to
repress their feelings.

********************

The night seemed endless as Nick tried to count the stars to fall asleep.
But he couldn't.  He turned around to see where Brian and Lance slept only
to see the two forms curled up against one another for warmth and comfort.
The hurt hit Nick like a sharp dagger.  Why didn't they want to sleep next
to him?

He stayed in that position, his eyes resting on Brian's and Lance's
beautiful forms and a feeling of isolation tugged at his heart.  He wished
he didn't lie to them, but he was too shocked by the whole event to even
bring it up.  Plus, he didn't want to cause anymore discontent between
Brian, Lance and Moju than there already was.

But apparently, Brian and Lance were upset.  Nick cursed himself for acting
so clumsily.  Rather than making things better, he had made them worse.  He
forced his eyes to close so that he could sleep, but he couldn't.  He had
too much on his mind.  Plus, he was afraid to sleep.  The night reminded
him of the nights he slept with all those men.  It made him sick.  After
trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep a few more times, Nick got up and
walked into the woods, careful to remain silent so that he wouldn't wake
the others up.

He needed a breath of fresh air.  He needed to rid of the suffocation that
he felt was making it harder for him to breathe.  Aimlessly, he walked into
the night, following his heart which led him to a nearby stream where he
sat all night thinking and reflecting.