Date: Tue, 01 Feb 2000 15:59:07 EST From: That's The Way I Like It <bsb_stories@hotmail.com> Subject: gay/celebrity/boy-bands/changes Changes Chapters 29-30 Thanks again to anybody who has taken the time to write with your thoughts on the story. I really appreciate it! I hope people who don't write are also enjoying it and it's not just taking up space on the internet that could be used for something more earth-shattering. ;-) Stories on Nifty to take notice of if you haven't: Studio in the Country, Forever and Some Kind of Bliss ... WOW! Plot, dialogue AND a sense of humour. I hope I can at least get a semblance of one of those three. Please don't read if you are offended by gay sex. The usual disclaimer applies. Have fun and remember, I would love any feedback or criticism, good, bad or scathing. Take care! -- May CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE Howie set his bags down in the driveway of his new Florida mansion, squinting irritably at two cars he'd never seen before, one a luxury sedan and the other some kind of high-end sport-utility vehicle, a monstrous purple creature that gleamed like an African beetle. The air was hot and damp, which was as relaxing and familiar to Howie as a soothing washcloth on his brow. He was thrilled to be somewhere warm for a change, and he made his way into the house, setting his things down on the Spanish tiled floor of the entryway, an airy creation filled with plants and natural light. "Maria? Are you home? Anybody?" His voice echoed through the palatial home, but there was no response. His cell phone rang and Howie sat down on a leather couch and flipped it open. "Howie D." "Howie, it's Clive. Are you home?" "I just got in. What do you need?" "Turn on MTV now." "What? Wait, hold on..." "Howie, are you there? Is it on?" "Jeez, I just walked in the door," Howie said irritably, "I've never even seen this TV before, I don't know where the remote is. Here, okay... What the hell is this?" The news special went on for another ten minutes, talking about the imminent demise of the Backstreet Boys. Clive filled Howie in on what he'd missed. "Sources close to the Backstreet Boys have told us that there will be no album at the end of their ill-fated European tour... Rumours have chased the once-dominant pop group since their reunion two months ago... An eyewitness account of a violent physical confrontation... Weak performances and on-stage tension..." "Who the hell was talking to the press about what happened between me and Nick?" "We don't know, Howie. But the only people who were there that night were you five, 'N Sync, and well, Dani and Misha." "Oh God," Howie said, staring at the TV, "now they're talking to Nick." "We were unable to make contact with any of the other Backstreet Boys," said the chirpy voice over, "but we did catch up with Nick Carter, who is doing a solo concert tonight in Madrid, Spain, right in the middle of the Backstreet Boys tour of Europe." Nick looked exhausted; he had bags under his eyes, a hat scrunched over his head, and a scarf around his neck. "People have been saying we're going to break up for years now," Nick was saying dully, "but it's never been true before and it's not true now." "Is it true that you and Kevin Richardson are going to form a new group together?" "What?" Nick looked baffled. "No, who told you that?" The report finished with a smirking prediction that the band was finished. "Well, if you had called me before today, at the last minute, you would have known that Aaron wasn't going to be there," Jane said tersely, squeezing the phone up to her face with her shoulder as she watered the plants on the Carter estate's patio. They had housekeepers and professional gardeners to do that kind of thing, but Jane liked to feel busy all the time. "There's a German group who's going to be there. Didn't Clive tell you about it, I mean, he's handling the show for you, after all." Nick twirled the phone cord around his wrist, sitting on the plush carpeted floor of his hotel room in Madrid. He had tried going out on the balcony to get some fresh air, but some fans were staked out on the street and began screaming as soon as they saw a blonde head. "I know you do things without thinking," Jane continued. "We can change it," Nick said, "we'll get a lawyer and we'll change it. I don't want to do the other show anyway. I'm so tired, mom and I haven't been feeling good." "Honey, it's not my business," Jane said coldly, "you haven't made it very easy for me by cutting me off. I thought you wanted to do things with your family, Nick. How am I supposed to arrange shows with you and Air and Leslie when you go behind my back like this?" "Mom, I didn't mean to cut you off, it doesn't, you still get your same percentage." "It changes everything, Nick. It was your choice. Now, I have to go, sweetheart, I have to get Angel at the airport. So good luck tonight." "Mom, I just thought..." Nick sighed, taking the phone away from his mouth as he tried to regain control of his emotions. Jane set down the watering can and put a hand on her hip. It was hard to ignore her son's sadness. "Nicky, I'm sorry," she said more tenderly. "But it seems like the life you want to lead doesn't include your family. We don't want to turn away from you." "I'm sorry, mom," Nick said tearfully. "Your dad and I only ever wanted what was best for you, and for you to achieve your dreams, baby. Haven't we been there for you through everything?" Nick let tears run down his cheeks, choking back the things that he really wanted to say. No, you weren't ... you let me down when I needed you the most. You left me guessing, wondering. I still wonder if you really love me, the person inside. "Just tell everybody I love them and I miss them," he said finally. "We all love you too, Nicky." The phone connection went dead and Jane headed out to chauffeur another star in the making. Nick rested his head on his knees, hugging his legs close to his body. "This is so peaceful," Misha said, lying back on a blanket and gazing at the bright sky overhead. Little wisps of clouds drifted by and the boat rocked gently in the sparkling water. "Yeah, this is heaven," Brian said, sitting up and peering all around as he rested his arm over the now-still motor. He thought that a couple of days on the Riviera would be nice, since it wasn't too far out of the way and nobody knew where they were. Unfortunately, everything about the place was making him think about Nick, who was so passionate about the ocean. "Hey," he said to Misha, "you'd better put some more sun screen on. You're going to turn hot pink." "How tacky," Misha laughed, and he sat up and fumbled around in their picnic basket for the lotion. Brian sat beside him, the light tufts of hair on his legs glinting with specks of sand. Everything smelled of salt and seaweed, harsh and purifying. They both slathered on the sun block and lay together on the blanket, giving each other little smooches and just savouring the atmosphere. "Shouldn't one of us be watching where we are?" Misha grinned. "I don't think we're going to drift too far away," Brian said in his sweet drawl. "I think we'll know where the shore is." "You know when I was little, I was always afraid to go out far from the shore," Misha said. "We didn't live on the water in Maine, but my great-aunt had a place near York Beach, and so we'd go down there in the summer sometimes. I kinda stuck to the boardwalk, though." "Hey well, I grew up in Kentucky," Brian laughed, "we didn't get any ocean action. Water parks. We had water parks." "And you probably liked the high dive?" "Nah, I'm not big on heights actually," Brian said, smiling as he thought back to his childhood. "But you're so athletic," Misha said, "so ... brawny." "Oh, please!" Brian laughed. "Brawny?" "Okay, how about butch?" "Now you're just bein' silly." "Well, did anybody ever call you queer when you were little?" "No, I don't think so," Brian said, looking at Misha quizzically. "I think I've proved my point," Misha said, looking up at the sky again. Brian sighed; Misha had the ability of turning the silliest and most innocent conversation into something deathly serious. "These are capers?" A.J. slid his shades down his nose and gave Dani a very frightened look. She burst out laughing. "Yes, dear. Put them in the basket. They don't bite. Hard." He chortled and dropped the jar into the crate. They walked up and down the narrow aisles of the old-fashioned grocery store, deep in the Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood where Dani lived in New York, making purchases for an authentic Italian dinner. She was enjoying being part of a couple with A.J., but Dani had no idea how much A.J. was enjoying the pretense of being just a guy named Alex, who was a friend of a girl named Dani, who was buying food to make a nice dinner. He imagined living in the City, maybe working at a radio station or something, just being an ordinary person, not somebody whose every action was filmed and analysed. A.J. picked out a very expensive bottle of red wine, which got a raised eyebrow from Dani. "I usually go for Ernest and Julio, but if you insist..." "It's on me, ma cherie," A.J. grinned. They stood in the check-out line and Dani picked out a sports magazine. "Leighanne is supposed to be in here," she said, flipping through the pages. "Ah, yeah... Wow. Look at these pictures!" A.J. peered over his glasses. "I think we should buy a copy," he said. "I mean, in case she can't get it when she's in Europe." "Uh huh," Dani grinned. "You guys don't know how important you are to me, all of you," Nick said into the black void of the audience. It was more comfortable to be on the stage, surrounded by darkness but keenly aware of the emotional vibrations of the crowd around him, wishing for him to be there, cherishing him, being at one with his every movement. Nick had started his concert rather lifelessly, but the crowd willed him on to give more and more of himself to them. The crowd cheered madly for his every word, probably not even knowing what he was saying. "I love you all," Nick said, putting a hand on his heart. "Yo te amo... You are beautiful." He turned and gave a small signal to the band he'd only been introduced to that evening, and they began to play his last encore. "Sing with me," Nick encouraged the audience, and they swayed together and sang the words of the song he'd chosen, "Don't Want to Lose You Now." The song sounded very different sung as a solo and not in five part harmony, more wrenching and without the soaring hopefulness that pervaded the Backstreet Boys version. "Mr. Carter, this is Ariela." "She love you so much," Sergio's wife and Ariela's mother told him gushingly in her strong Spanish accent. "She kisses you every night, her picture." Nick had agreed to meet another fan after the show as a special favour to one of the organisers, whose ten year old daughter was wheelchair-bound. He had toweled off and doused himself with cologne, since there wasn't time to shower, changing into a comfortable long-sleeved shirt and jeans. The girl cringed, sobbing. "Hey," Nick said, kneeling beside her and taking her clammy little hand in his, "don't cry, sweetheart." The girl's mother smoothed her hair back. "Shh, ijita, mira ..." She translated Nick's words into Spanish and the girl managed to open her eyes briefly. Her beautiful idol was a foot away from her face, smiling at her kindly, but his eyes looked sad. "Nicky," the girl gasped, "I... I love you more big... I ... I can't talk English..." She began to cry again, too overwhelmed to think in a foreign language. "It's okay," Nick laughed, squeezing her hand. "I can't talk Spanish!" "We will take some photos," Sergio said, holding up a camera, "then we have to let Nick go, okay Aria?" She nodded, blinking back fresh tears. "You make her so happy," Sergio's wife told Nick, "when she sees you, she don't remember how she is sick." "Wow," Nick sighed, "well I'm just a regular person, you know." He gave the girl another smile and squeezed up close to her for the pictures. She took in the scent of him and tried to burn it into her memory forever. His soft lips kissing her cheek, the richness and vastness of his blue eyes gazing into her own. He was beyond human, he was everything she wanted projected in one man's frame. When Ariela's wheelchair took her body away from him, she sank back and shut her eyes, running away with her dream Nick. The real Nick stood watching the sickly, stick- figured little girl being taken away, woken up by his bodyguard tapping him on the shoulder. "We'd better get out of here." "Yeah, I'm ready. Did you get me what I needed?" "Sure did, you can have yourself a hell of a party." "Good, I really need it right now." Leo shrugged; what Nick really needed was a good night's sleep, but he wasn't being paid for his opinion. CHAPTER THIRTY A.J. set down his glass of wine on the bedside table. "I love your place, Dani," he said appreciatively. Everything about the apartment seemed just right to him; the decor was sparse, but well-chosen, little odds and ends that Dani had picked up at yard sales and flea markets, but it was all of a certain style, a sort of mismatched exotica. Dani slipped up behind him and snuck her arms around A.J.'s little waist, resting her head on his back. He'd been so sweet to her ever since Chartres, acting as though he had nothing better to do than spend time with her. Dani smiled to herself, but then she let A.J. go and sat down on the bed. "Alex... what's on your mind? You haven't even told me why we're here in New York." A.J. sat beside her and swept her hair away from her neck, laying a soft kiss in its place. Dani shivered. "It's not a good reason," he said in his raspy voice, "I don't want to think about it tonight, if that's okay with you, baby." "You know I can't even think straight when you call me that," Dani said, gazing into A.J.'s eyes. "Thank you, Dani," A.J. said softly, "thank you for letting me run away with you." He rubbed his lips against hers, opening her mouth gently as he laid her back on the bed, his hand caressing her stomach. Dani let herself get lost in sensation. Her small breasts bore the pain of rapidly hardening nipples, seeming to take over the rest of her body as they grew, twisting up into sensitive peaks. A.J.'s lips closed around one nipple and Dani moaned despite herself, grabbing a handful of A.J.'s thick short hair. "That's too good," she said, "Alex, no..." Alex released her nipple and began to kiss his way down Dani's stomach as he massaged her thighs, teasing his way around the crotch of her panties with his big hands. Dani shut her eyes tightly, wanting his hard cock in her more than she could have possibly imagined. Howie was attempting to make himself something to eat when he heard a car pull up outside. Maria got out of a white truck and went around to the other side, talking to the driver. He didn't have a good angle to see who it was, so Howie put down his cutlery and walked around to the front entrance. The car was driving away as he got there. "Howie," Maria said, setting down her two big shopping bags. The look on her face was a mixture of shock and dismay. "Hey," Howie smiled, "I thought I'd come home and surprise you." He walked up to his wife and hugged her tightly, kissing her on the lips. "Did you miss me?" "Of course, I... Wow, you could have told me!" Maria shook her head. "Who was that?" Howie asked, motioning at the driveway. "Who ... Oh..." "Honey? Who was it? I didn't recognise the car." "It was this friend of mine." "Who?" "Can we go inside, honey? My feet hurt." "Sure..." Howie picked up the bags and followed his wife inside. Something didn't feel right to him, but he didn't want to accuse Maria of any wrongdoing because of a feeling. After all, Howie told himself, he had been gone for a while and things were bound to feel weird, weren't they? Nick got out of the tub and sat in the bathroom, soaking in the humid air and slathering himself with lotion, feeling dehydrated to the core since it was so dry in Spain. He was coming off the adrenaline rush of performing, and he basked in the blissful sensation of the slow building orgasm he'd had in the jacuzzi. He paid some loving attention to his own body for a change, admiring how soft and clean his skin was, warm and fragrant with the scented soap he'd used. But this physical pampering was only a momentary diversion from the mental woes that were plaguing the 21 year old, and so when Nick emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a long-sleeved t-shirt and pajama pants, he went immediately to the bottle of vodka he'd procured, as though it had him locked in a tractor beam. His focus was disturbed by somebody knocking at the door. It was almost two in the morning. "Who is it?" he asked quietly. "Nick... It's Kevin." Nick opened the door in shock and stood there dumbly. Kevin was so out of place that it seemed like a dream. "What are you doing here?" Kevin pushed the door shut and leaned back against it, looking anxiously at Nick. "You did a good job tonight," he said. "I was feeling it." The words were forced sounding, fake. "You want a drink or something?" Nick asked, confused. "I see you've already started," Kevin replied more easily, walking over to a little round table laid out with alcohol. "You came here to see my show?" "I came to see you," Kevin said, turning around looking Nick more boldly in the face. "I'm going to use your bathroom now, if you don't mind. I've been hanging around waiting for you for a while." Kevin strode through the room and shut himself in while Nick stood there, in a trance. Dani slipped her shirt off and unfastened her bra, watching A.J. intently as he sprawled out on her bed, his erect cock sticking up like a flagpole. She stepped out of her moist underwear and crawled over the bed and on top of A.J.'s firm, slender body, loving the feel of their bare flesh meeting. "You're so wet, baby," A.J. purred in her ear as one of his thighs rubbed against Dani's soaked cunt. "I need you so bad," Dani sighed. "Ride me," A.J. whispered, loving how demanding she was being. "You're so hard," Dani sighed, grasping A.J.'s cock lovingly and rubbing it up against his flat stomach. "I'm hard for you..." Dani knelt over A.J. and he helped her ease the head of his dick into her cunt. She sank back on his cock, feeling a bit of a dull aching pain through her core as A.J.'s dick filled her, rubbing against her sensitive cervix. "Ahh, God," Dani groaned, and A.J. sighed, grabbing her hips in pleasure. He loved to be loud during sex and it seemed he'd met his match. "You feel so good, ahh, Alex!" Dani squeezed his dick rhythmically with her cunt as he bounced her up and down, thrusting into her as hard as he could. "Oh baby," he moaned, "oh girl..." "Yes! Ohh, fuck, yes, yes!" Dani shuddered and screamed as she felt the tingling heat of an intense orgasm overtake her senses, her clit set off to an agony of pleasure against A.J.'s curving cock. "Now it's Daddy's turn," A.J. grinned as he flipped her over on to her back and slammed his cock back in, thrusting deeper and faster as his own climax built. Dani clawed at A.J.'s back and grabbed his ass with one hand, urging him on to fuck her harder still. Her thighs and ass were sticky with her own juices, and she felt an insistent trickle down her ass and on to the bed. "I'm gonna cum, ahh, yes, uhh..." A.J. made such a silly face as he came that Dani almost laughed, burying her face on his shoulder as he slammed in to her again, shooting his cum into her body as she gripped him with her legs. "Oh fuck..." A.J. gasped, panting. "Alex..." Dani laughed. "What baby..." "The earth moved." "What?" "This bed used to be up against the wall..." They both laughed out loud, seeing that they had moved a good two feet into the centre of the room. "Kev, are you okay in there?" Nick opened the door, tired of waiting for Kevin to remerge and explain just why the hell he'd followed him to Spain. Kevin was casually rinsing out a plastic bag in the sink. "What's..." Nick stared at him, horrified. "I just flushed the rest of it," Kevin said, tossing the bag down on the counter. "You..." Nick gaped. "It's illegal," Kevin said calmly, putting his hands on his hips and staring Nick down. "I'm doing all of us a favour." "What the fuck?" Nick yelled angrily. Kevin shoved past him and into the main room. It was easier to fight about drugs than to talk about why he was really there. Nick followed him and grabbed him by the shoulder. "What the hell are you doing, Kevin? Who do you think you are, telling me how to live my life?" "Nick, stop freaking out," Kevin said. "You don't need that shit." "You think you're so fucking perfect, don't you?" Nick asked, his face twisting with displeasure. "You think you can push me around and tell me what to do... well fuck you Kevin. I'm sick of it, okay? I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do!" He shoved Kevin, who stumbled backwards, grabbing at the couch to remain upright. "Why did you come here?" Nick asked tearfully. "Why did you come, just to fight with me, just to tell me I'm worthless, why?" "No, I ..." Kevin covered his face with his hands. "I know you hate me, Kevin," Nick said, his voice shaking. "I don't hate you, Nick!" "You act like you do," Nick said accusingly. "You made me feel so stupid... I can't change who I am, Kevin. I can't help it if I was the youngest, and if I'm really different from you, that doesn't mean you're better than me." "Nick, I'm sorry," Kevin said, sitting on the couch. "I'm sorry if I hurt you by how I acted some times, I didn't mean to..." "You broke us up, why Kevin? Why, were you jealous of Brian? You wanted me and you couldn't have me..." "Shut up," Kevin said, getting up angrily. "You called Brian a pervert for being with me!" Nick yelled, poking Kevin in the chest. "You made him feel like it was sick and wrong, because it was me! You bastard! You're just old and jealous, you hurt anybody you can!" Kevin was right in his face, fists up, and Nick shoved him away. "Are you going to hit me, Kevin? You think I won't hit you back? I know why you came here, because you think there is one person in the world more pathetic than Kevin Richardson, and that person is Nick Carter. Well, you got it wrong, asshole." There were tears streaming down Nick's face and he stood there, breathless after his little tirade. "I came here..." Kevin stared at Nick, distracted momentarily by how beautiful he looked, his face flushed, his expression wild, his hair disheveled, so full of passion, "I came here because I can't be away from you." Nick just stared back, breathing hard but not coming up with any response. "Do you know I'm going to be thirty in less than a month," Kevin said softly. "Everything changes when I'm with you, when we're alone together... It's like the normal rules stop applying." "Kev," Nick sighed, sitting down again. Kevin sat down beside him and stared at the blond. "You know when you fuck me, I feel like you want to kill me." "Nick... No. God, no." They sat there in silence. It sounded like the people next door were watching TV and had the set turned up pretty loud. Maybe they'd turned it up after hearing two people yelling at each other in English. "Nicky, I don't know if we're good for each other," Kevin said, trying to make eye contact with him. "Don't pretend we have a relationship or something," Nick said softly, "because we don't. You fuck me and then you leave. You're not my boyfriend." "I came here to be with you," Kevin said, "we don't have to have sex." "Good," Nick replied, "because I'm really tired and my back hurts. We have to stop fucking on the floor." Kevin slid over beside him and toyed with the sleeve of Nick's shirt rather meekly. "I'm sorry, Nicky. Your neck is all bruised too." Nick nodded and stared off into space. "Nobody's ever done that to me before," he said distractedly. "Come on," Kevin said, "let's get in bed, and I'll give you a massage." Nick followed Kevin into the bedroom and lay down. Kevin's big, strong hands caressed Nick's body, working out the tightness in the muscles around his spine and easing the cramps in his shoulders. "There," Kevin said softly, rubbing Nick's back, "you feel better?" "Mmm," Nick said drowsily, "much better..." He turned around and cuddled up with Kevin, who hugged him tightly and rested his head on top of Nick's. "Nicky, I'm sorry for hurting you," Kevin said, his voice cracking a bit with emotion. "I'm sorry about a lot of things." "It's okay," Nick mumbled. "You know, Nick, I decided to come here because... I felt like if I didn't, I'd go crazy." Nick snuggled up to Kevin's chest. "I'm glad you came," he said. "Even though I flushed your drugs down the toilet?" Kevin laughed. "Uh huh." Kevin stroked Nick's hair, realising that he was half-asleep. "I took a big risk coming here," Kevin said, "I don't know if you know that." "Hmm." "Like when I moved to Orlando, like when I quit my job and signed with Lou." He toyed with Nick's hair again, it was so thick and smooth, he loved it. "We're both lonely," Nick said quietly. Kevin was surprised; he thought Nick was already asleep. "It's more than that," Kevin said. "Yeah," Nick said, "maybe."