Date: Mon, 20 Dec 1999 09:01:18 EST
From: That's The Way I Like It <bsb_stories@hotmail.com>
Subject: Gay/Celebrity/Boy-Bands "Changes" Chapters 5-6

Please do not read if you are offended by gay themes.  The
usual disclaimer applies.

CHAPTER FIVE

"I'm gonna miss you so much, baby," Howie said softly to Maria,
cradling her in his arms as he tenderly kissed her shoulders.
"I know, mijito," she said, running her hand down his beautifully
shaped chest, "we'll miss you too."  He beamed at her when she
said this, slipping a hand over her soft stomach, which was just
beginning to swell slightly.  "Now fuck me good bye," Maria
whispered in Howie's ear.  "I love you so much," Howie sighed,
sliding his hard dick back into her wet cunt, soaked with his
cum and her own juices.  He was tired after their previous fuck
and he slowly thrust in and out of his beautiful bride, who
sighed and traced her own nipple with a long fingernail, her
cunt gripping at his dick lovingly as her hips began to rotate
at a counter-rhythmn to his thrusts.  "Ohhh, baby," Maria moaned,
"I never want to let you go."  Howie sighed, wanting to make
this fuck last all night long.  He supported himself on his
elbows and continued his slow pace, while Maria shifted beneath
him and raised her legs, locking them around his back and pulling
him close to her.  Her breasts pressed softly against his upper
body, and Howie caressed her side and kissed her deeply.  As
she gripped and milked his dick, Howie began to feel his orgasm
building and he sighed deeply, picking up the pace slightly as
the noise of his dick going in and out of her wet lips and his
balls slapping against her ass started to come faster and faster.
As Howie came, he realised that by the next time he saw his
wife, she would be showing for sure, carrying his baby, a gift
from God and a symbol of their love... He took Maria in his
arms and almost crushed her to him.  She was moved to tears
herself when she realised that her affectionate husband was
crying.

"A.J. cam is on and we have... action!"  "Hello, I am an
eclair," Felicia was saying in a deep voice, giggling.  A.J.
had his new camcorder zoomed in on his dick, which was
covered in chocolate and lying on a metal plate.  A.J. cracked
up laughing.  "What a bloody enormous pastry this is," he said
in a mock British accent, "I don't believe I have ever seen
an eclair of such ... magnitude."  "A.J., the chocolate is
melting."  "This is a problem.  Felicia, would you like to
remedy the situation?"  "Can you hold the camera steady
enough?"  Felicia pouted and licked at A.J.'s cock.  "Mmm...
I shall give it my best shot," A.J. replied, still doing
the British accent.  "I still think the whole concept is
just brilliant.  And now, we would like to show you, a
traditional French breakfast... ze shokolat eclair..."
Felicia let out her insane laugh and sprayed some whipped
cream over the dessert on display.

Brian lay in bed staring at the ceiling.  Dinner with Misha
had been nice, and he was a nice guy.  Nice to talk to, nice
to look at.  Nice.  He sighed.  They were leaving in a few days
to go to Europe and the one thing that Brian was holding on to
was the hope that Mario would not accompany them.  Even A.J.
couldn't stand the guy, and Nick had been on a coke binge ever
since he showed up.  A sixth sense told Brian that something
was wrong, and he tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep.
At the same time, his older cousin had poured out the last of
his bottle of Jack Daniels and swirled the amber liquid in
its glass, staring at it sadly before throwing it back.  He
didn't connect the glass to his lips that well, and some of
the alcohol dribbled out of the side of his mouth.  Kevin was
very depressed, and he tossed the glass into the trash
container along with the empty bottle before lumbering over
to the bed to lie down.  It was good to know that Jerald was
okay.  Kevin had been on the phone with his mother earlier.
His older brother had been in the hospital for some tests.
It was just acid reflux in the end.  And Jerald was quite a
bit older than Kevin.  But still, it was another reminder to
the tall, dark haired man that he was only growing older,
alone.  "I'm not up for this shit any more," Kevin had said
earlier, staring out the window at the city streets below.

Mario was standing next to the bed, balancing his knees
against the mattress as he thrust his cock up Nick's ass.
The blond had been on his hands and knees on the bed but
had gradually slid his upper body down, and was moaning
loudly into a pillow as Mario fucked him.  "Ah, yeah,
Nicky," Mario grunted, covered with sweat and working hard.
They were both flying, barely aware of where they were,
just operating on sensation and wish fulfilment.  "Yeah,
yeah, fuck my ass!" Nick screamed out, loud enough for
everybody in the building to hear.  "Fuck me, fuck me!"
Mario found himself lying in bed next to Nick, not sure
how he got there, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.
Did he come?  He wasn't sure.  His dick was still hard.
Nick was panting and had a hand on his chest.  He looked
scared.  "Ah," he moaned, "ah, I'm dying..."  Mario stared
at him, feeling his heart leaping in his rib cage.  "Nick?"
"I'm too high, I'm too high," Nick gasped, "oh, fuck, god,
I need to come down now!"  Confused, Mario fumbled around
in his stuff.  "Give it to me," Nick screamed, and he
snatched a bag of pills from him.  "Nick, what are you
doing?"  Mario felt like he was behind a glass wall.  His
blood buzzed in his ears, everything was textured, what
the hell, was this some fucked up coke or what?  What was
it cut with... Nick crammed a couple of the pills into his
mouth and tried to swallow without water, choking and
gagging, what was he doing?  "Nick, stop it!" Mario yelled
at him.  "I have to stop, I have to stop!" Nick was yelling
back, "I can't breathe, Mar... I can't..."  They were both
disoriented and didn't know what was happening.  "Ah," Nick
moaned, tears running down his face, "I don't want to die..."
His nose was bleeding and he seemed to be drooling or
frothing at the mouth.  "Come and throw up," Mario said,
dragging him to the bathroom, "you'll be fine, you're fine..."
But by the time they got there, Nick's eyes were shut and
he'd stopped moving.  "Oh God," Mario said, stepping back
from him.  "Nick... holy fuck!  Shit! Fuck!"  He ran right
out of the room to the next door and started banging on
it, not even aware of the fact that he had no pants on.

Misha had managed to tune out all the noise from Mario and
Nick's room by putting headphones on, but even that was
not enough to prevent him hearing somebody banging on the
door.  "Help, Nick, go, go!" Mario was shouting, not making
any sense, and he grabbed Misha's arm and yanked him out of
the room.  Misha smelled big trouble and ran into the room,
where Nick was unconscious on the floor in the bathroom.
"Call 911 right now," Misha yelled at Mario, taking Nick's
wrist in his hand to see if he had a pulse.  Maybe they
wern't supposed to just call 911 if they were celebrities.
All Misha knew was that this was an emergency and he didn't
have time to worry about whether or not he was going to blow
somebody's cover.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?"  Dani softly touched Brian's
arm.  He was sitting in the waiting room looking drawn and
grey, huddled in a big sweater and baggy jeans.  Brian
nodded, almost imperceptibly.  Clive had already briefed
everybody on what was going to happen.  If anybody in the
hospital or hotel opened their mouth, they were going to get
slapped with a lawsuit that could sink an ocean liner.  He'd
had no choice but to contact Nick's mother, but otherwise,
the fewer people who knew about this, the better.  They'd
resuscitated the singer and he was going to be alright.
But if he'd been left there, he would have lost his life.
Brian tried to imagine waking up the next morning and
finding out that Nick was dead at age 21.  The love of his
life, gone.  "Here you go," Dani said, and Brian cradled
the warm cup in his hands.  "Thanks," he mumbled.  The two
of them sat there in silence, and were joined shortly by
A.J., Howie and Maria.  A.J. had obviously been drinking,
but the events of the night had sobered him up considerably,
and in a strange burst of common sense, he'd left Felicia
at the hotel.  Leighanne was nowhere to be found.

"Did you really deck Mario?" A.J. asked Brian, who just
stared at his coffee blankly without responding.  Dani
waved at A.J. to get his attention and shook her head no.
He nodded apologetically.  "I can't believe this," Howie
said sadly.  "What a way to start things off."  "He needs to
get his shit together," A.J. agreed.  "Where do you get off,"
Brian said quietly.  "What?  You don't see me in a hospital,
do you?" A.J. said angrily.  "I can take care of myself,
unlike the dumb blond."  "He's not dumb," Brian snapped,
"and don't get all high and mighty with me, okay?  I don't
need to hear it from you, or from fucking... Kevin..."
The three of them sat there quietly.  It had come as a great
surprise to everybody to discover that Kevin was passed out
drunk and was of no assistance whatsoever in this little
crisis.  Who would have guessed that had been going on?
Brian felt a twinge of guilt at not being aware of what was
going on with his cousin, but it's not like Kevin hadn't had
many chances to talk to him while they'd been touring
together.  And he never had.

"Guys," Howie said quietly, "we can't let this shit bring
down the group."  They sat there together, their thoughts
wandering separately along that path.  "Maybe we should
postpone the tour," Brian said.  "Maybe we should just all,
I don't know, take a vacation together and make peace."
Howie shook his head and smirked.  "First off, Brian, that
would never happen.  Second, we can't postpone the tour.
Are you joking?  Do you have any idea what is involved?
We could get sued like you wouldn't believe."  "Well, we
can't go on tour like this," Brian said, getting to his
feet.  "Look at us, we're a joke."  He paced around the
room.  "No, Brian," Howie said, getting up as well.  "WE
are not a joke.  Us three are ready to tour, and I think
Kevin is okay too.  It's just Nick that's the problem."
"So what are you saying?" Brian asked defensively.  "You
think we should kick him out?"  "I don't know," Howie
said.  "We've done things without him before.  And he
sure as hell can't perform like this."  "I can't believe
what I'm hearing," Brian shouted.  Dani's heart went out
to him.  He was in such pain.  "Brian, I just think-"
"No," Brian said loudly, backing up towards the door.
"Don't say another goddamned word to me, Howie Dorough.
Not unless you want my foot up your ass.  Because I will
fucking kick the shit out of you if you ever speak to me
again."  He walked out, slamming the door hard behind him.

Brian stormed out into the cool night air, and found Misha
standing outside smoking a cigarette.  The tall, slender
man's closely cropped hair shone, lit by the fluorescent
bulb above him.  Misha's hair was an indeterminate pale
brownish-blondish-grey colour, not really a colour at all.
It seemed light in contrast to his large brown eyes.  Brian
just stared at him.  Lit the way he was, Misha looked like
some kind of angel.  "You saved his life," Brian said
softly, a tear running down his face.  Misha sighed and let
out a little swirl of smoke.  "Brian, I did what anybody
would have done."  He leaned back against the wall and looked
up at the night sky.  It was too bright in the city to see
any stars, and the murky clouds hung low.  "God," Brian said
painfully, clasping his hands, "if I'd lost him..."  "You
didn't, Brian," Misha said softly.  "He's okay now."  "I
just love him so much," Brian sobbed.  Misha hugged Brian
closely and let him cry on his shoulder.

CHAPTER SIX

Jane Carter sat on the edge of Nick's hospital bed, clutching
her oldest child's hand and smoothing the fair hair back from
the face that adorned millions of bedroom walls, lockers, and
record stores.  Nick's face today was puffy, with dark circles
under his eyes and dried blood around his nose.  "Just say the
word, Nicky, and you're off this tour.  You can come home and
stay with Air and Beej and everybody..."  She stroked his hair
gently as she spoke.  "It's okay," Nick mumbled.  "Sweetheart,
I don't want you to sacrifice your health and your sanity for
the Backstreet Boys," Jane said softly, "it's not worth it.
Nicky, you scared me really badly."  "I'm sorry, mom."  "Now
get some rest, and we can talk about this tonight when you're
back at the hotel.  Okay?"  "Mmm hmmm."  Nick shut his eyes,
and Jane kissed his forehead before leaving the room.

Brian almost walked right into Jane as she stepped out.  He
nodded at her politely, but she blocked his way.  "What are
you doing, Brian?"  She glared at him angrily.  "I'm going to
check on Nick.  What does it look like?"  Brian wished he
hadn't responded in such a hostile way, but she just made his
blood boil.  "I'm taking Nick off the tour," Jane announced.
"Oh?  Does Nick know about that?"  "He'll agree," she said
smugly.  "I've already dealt with the Mario situation.  Now
I just have to deal with you all."  Brian shook his head.
"What is that supposed to mean, Jane?"  "You all did this to
him," Jane hissed, "I hold all of you responsible, not just
that guttersnipe Mario."  "Oh come on..."  "I've sacrificed
my son enough," Jane said tearfully, "I can't live with my
conscience if I do it any longer."  "Jane, Nick is an adult
man.  He has to make his own decisions."  "Oh, oh..."  Jane
sputtered with rage.  "What a typical thing for you to say...
so fucking selfish... my god Brian Littrell, you are evil!"
She backed away from him and pointed a finger in his face.
"You should be thanking your dear Lord Jesus every day that
you aren't rotting in prison somewhere for statutory rape!
You pedophile.  Isn't it bad enough that you destroyed Nick's
innocence, you raped him and warped his mind, now you want
to keep him around to toy with ... what does your Bible say
about this, anyway, Brian?"  Several people had gathered,
shocked by Jane's melodramatic torrent of hate.  "You can keep
lying as much as you want," Brian said, "it don't make what you
say true.  You just keep on with whatever it is you believe,
Jane, whatever it is that makes you happy and lets you sleep
at night."

"People, people," a big-boned nurse said, coming in between
the two of them and holding up her hands, "enough, please.
There are sick people here trying to get their rest.  Enough
with the soap operas."  "I'm sorry, ma'am," Brian said in his
sweet Southern drawl.  Jane stormed off down the hallway, and
the nurse let Brian in to see Nick.  Brian sat down right where
Jane had been and watched Nick sleeping.  "Nicky..."  Brian said,
speaking out loud as he gazed at his love.  "Baby, I thought
I was going to lose you.  I thought, all those times I wanted
to help you, I wanted to be there for you, and I wasn't, I
didn't do what was right... I would have hated myself so much,
Nick, if you had left me.  I don't know if I could have gone
on."  His eyes filled with tears, and he took Nick's hand in
his and stroked it gently.  "When you and I were together, I
felt like I'd found my soul mate, Nick.  Something like that
doesn't happen too often, and I'm one of those people who
thinks it probably only comes around one time in this life.
How could that have been wrong... I still feel like you're part
of me.  I think about you when I wake up in the morning, and
when I go to bed at night.  When I think about heaven, I think
about seeing you there, and being with you for eternity."
Brian wiped his face and continued talking, just trying to
make sense of his own feelings.  "Maybe I'm just a romantic
fool, and it can't work.  But Nick, even if I just had you
in my life somehow, I think I could accept it one day if we
weren't a couple, and I could go on.  Just don't leave me.
Nicky, please don't disappear out of my life."  He leaned
over and kissed the top of Nick's head, inhaling the familiar
scent of his long-time lover.  Nick sighed and opened his
eyes slowly, gazing up at Brian.  "Hi," Brian said with a
little smile.  He squeezed Nick's hand.  Nick smiled at him
weakly and shut his eyes again.  He'd only been half-asleep
when Brian came in and had heard every word of Brian's
monologue.

"Do you really think she was hitting on you?" Misha laughed,
setting down his cup of cappucino and smacking Dani on the
knee.  "I don't know," Dani smirked, "I just had that vibe.
Some day you'll have to casually ask Brian if the bearding is
going on both ways."  "Hmm," Misha sighed, the smile gradually
fading from his lips as he glanced out of the window of the
cafe.  "Mr. Littrell..."  "He's still got it bad for Nick,
huh."  "Oh yeah.  He's pretty much obsessed."  "It's not
going to get better any time soon, not with Nick almost
croaking on us.  That's just going to kick the 'poor little
Nicky' thing into overdrive."  "Tell me about it," Misha
sighed, "and now we don't even have Mario around to get in
the way."  Dani had to laugh.  "Oh, Mish, you're bad.  That
guy was a creep."  "I'm just kidding ... sort of.  Hey, I
have nothing against Nick.  He's probably a good guy when
he's not wasted.  I just have feelings for somebody, and
he's the enemy in that situation."  "I know.  I'm just teasing
you, sweetie."  Dani patted Misha's leg affectionately.  "And
let's face it, Brian would be better off with me.  I'm the
same age as him, I'm stable, I'm cute as hell..."  "Hmm,"
Dani smirked, "I think Nick is cuter."  "Hey!  Nice support!"
"Aww, you're cute too."  Dani set her cup down.  "Well, are
we ready for another big night on the town with the you-know-
whos?"  "As ready as we'll ever be," Misha said sourly.  "Still
mad that I think Nick is cuter?"  "Yes."  Dani burst out
laughing and pinched Misha's cheek.  "Teen idol wannabe.
Ah... there we go.  Now he's blushing.  Hey - didn't I see
you in Bop?  Or was that Tiger Beat?"  "Okay, Dani, I think
you've made your point."

The five members of Backstreet Boys had gathered to make an
appearance at a release party for their friend and label
mate, the new teen pop sensation Destiny.  She would be
opening for their European tour, and after a brief press
conference, there would be meet and greet and lots of
paparazzi type photo ops at the party, where many other
high profile pop stars would be in attendance.  The ride
over in the limo was tense, to say the least.  Dani and
Misha were with Howie and A.J., while Brian, Kevin, Nick
and Leighanne were in the other car.  "I'm frankly a
little surprised that Nick is coming with," Dani said,
"although I guess it would look weird if he wasn't there."
"That's it exactly," Misha said.  "Just in case any little
birds are singing.  People will think, he can't have been
in the ICU last night, look, he's here at a party and
looking lovely."  "Oh, there's more to the story than that,"
A.J. said bitterly.  "A lot more," Howie threw in.  "You
don't want to know what kind of a bitch fest his mom was
throwing at the hotel," A.J. said.  "She's in now talking
to Clive and Lorna," Howie jumped in, speaking quickly.
"You know what that means."  "What?" Dani asked, hoping that
wasn't a rhetorical question.  "What do you think?" A.J.
asked incredulously, as though she were an idiot.  "Contract
renegotiation," Howie said, scowling out of the window.
"She's threatening to take Nick off the tour.  Again."  "How
much you want to bet he's going to get twice as much as the
rest of us?" A.J. asked Dani and Misha.  Okay, Dani thought,
now that was definitely a rhetorical question.  "Son of a
bitch," Howie said, his eyes narrowing.

The press conference went off without a hitch and Dani
took some photos of Destiny with each of the band members.
She was fairly tall and looked a little silly with Brian,
A.J. and Howie, but very glamourous with Kevin and
especially with Nick.  "You two look great together," Dani
smiled at them.  "Remind me of that so I can get lots of
shots of you two together."  Destiny broke into a big,
gorgeous smile, and Nick did the same immediately
thereafter, almost as though he'd seen her do it and
wanted to make sure he wasn't eclipsed.  Destiny was a
willowy, light-skinned black girl who wore her hair in
long, thin braids and had a wide-open face a bit like
Brandy Norwood's.  Nick, who had spent some serious time
in make-up before leaving the hotel, looked a bit tired
but handsome in his slightly shiny dark grey suit.  "How
are you feeling?" Dani asked him as they made their way
to the meet and greet.  "Not too bad," Nick said, and he
whispered in her ear, "Destiny doesn't know, okay?"  Dani
nodded and patted him encouragingly on the shoulder.  He
did have a way about him that made you want to take care
of him.  He seemed like everybody's naive little brother.

"What's up with you, anyway?" Howie was asking Kevin at
the party while they served themselves some brie and
crackers.  "Just a lot on my mind lately," Kevin said.
"Threw me for a loop," Howie said, popping some food into
his mouth and swallowing it before continuing, "I expect
that kind of crap from the babies of the group, but not
from you."  "You know what?" Kevin said, "nobody around
here is perfect last time I checked.  That includes me,
and that includes you."  "Hey, I'm not schooling you, Kev.
Like I said, I was just surprised."  Howie shrugged.  "So,
have you thought about what I said before, about Nick?"
"Yeah, I thought about it."  "And?"  "Come on, Howie.
There's no way we can make it work.  Not if we don't have
Clive and Lorna with us, and right now, they're probably
afraid they'll lose Nick."  "I just think things are
only going to get worse."  "I hear ya, D," Kev sighed.
"I feel bad for the kid."  "Maybe Brian can get through
to him."  "Maybe.  Seems like time's running out on that."

Brian was chatting with Lance Bass of 'N Sync when he felt
a pair of eyes on him.  He turned his head ever so slightly
and saw Nick watching him sadly.  "Anyway, we're going to
be in Paris some time next month," Lance was saying.  "Let's
talk about this more," Brian said, "you have my cell phone
number?"  "Yeah..."  Lance was a bit surprised that Brian
was suddenly cutting off their present conversation, but
when he glanced to his right and spotted Nick Carter, it
all made a lot more sense.  "I'll call when I have the dates,"
Lance smiled, and he patted Brian's arm.  "Take care," Brian
said with a grin.  "Bye now," Lance drawled back.  "Hey, are
you feeling okay?" Brian said as he came up to Nick, who was
leaning back against a table, both hands behind him to
support his weight.  "You look tired."  "Yeah, I'm kinda
tired," Nick said softly.  "You been drinking?"  "Just a
couple drinks..."  Nick looked at the ground.  "We can head
out now, let me grab Leighanne."  It wouldn't look good for
the two of them to leave the party separately, and so Brian
hunted Leighanne down quickly and the three of them left,
wishing everybody well as they hustled out into the night.

Brian held Nick in his arms in the back seat of the limo,
and let the blond rest his head on his shoulder.  Leighanne
sat staring out the window, running one finger along the
glass, deep in her own thoughts.  When they got to their
floor on the hotel, Leighanne walked briskly down the hall
to her room without saying a word to Brian.  He hardly
noticed her, however, he was so wrapped up in Nick.  They
got into bed together wearing t-shirts and boxers, and
cuddled up under the silky comforter.  "They're all pissed
off at me," Nick said in a small voice.  It was the first
thing he'd said, and Brian kissed his cheek tenderly.  "Who,
baby?  Who's pissed off at you?"  "A.J. and Howie and
Kevin, everybody..."  "They're just worried about you, Nicky."
"Nah, they hate me."  "Shh, don't talk like that.  Nobody
hates you."  "I hate myself," Nick whispered.  "Shh, Nick,
no..."  Brian squeezed him tightly.  "Don't talk like that."
Nick sighed and snuggled up close to Brian.  "Bri bear,
you're good to me."  "I love you, Nicky.  Don't you ever
forget that."  "I love you too."  They lay together for quite
a while without sleeping, although neither wanted to let the
other know that he was still awake.  The physical proximity
was comforting in a way, but Nick and Brian felt like they
were worlds apart that night.