Date: Fri, 22 Oct 1999 23:31:22 -0700
From: CrazyStar <crazystar@canoemail.com>
Subject: Crazy Part 3

Hey guys. Things have been kinda crappy and stuff, but thanks to a really
cool dude out there, things will definitely turn out all right. Thanks for
being there Jeff. Thanks to everyone who's sent words of encouragement and
stuff to me. Y'all have been totally awesome. I really do appreciate it. I
definitely look forward to hearing how I can do better, and what you would
like to see. I've pretty well left it all open, so there's tons of
directions that this thing could take. I just need a little persuasion! j/k
By the way, the disclaimer still stands. :)

Crazy
Chapter 3

JC leaned over to me and whispered, "It's Lance."

"Oh, ok." I whispered back and tuned back in to the one-sided conversation
on my right.

"You bet! Well, why do you meet us here?" Pause Again. "Cool, see you in a
bit." Justin turned off his cell phone and turned to us...

"THAT WAS LANCE." Hmmm... looks like Justin has an affinity for stating the
obvious.

"Yeah, I think I've known Scoop just as long as you Just. You don't need to
tell me that!" I know that JC must enjoy mocking him. I was starting to feel
sorry for Justin, because it always seemed as if we were ganging up on him.
For that to happen to the dude that's just spent all day being there for me,
it just didn't seem cool at all.

"Holy Josh, give Just a brake. I mean, I'm sure he knew that you knew who it
was, but he was prolly just doing it to help me out." I just smiled, and
Justin smiled back. Why did it always seem that he was smiling at me? "So,
what did Lance want Just?"

"Oh, he just wanted to know what was going down, and he said that he'd meet
us at the club."

"Oh great, just what I needed: three dudes from one of the sweetest bands in
the world to prove just how much my dancing sucks!"

"Ryan, be glad that Lance is coming. He'll make you look like you were born
to dance!" JC was just putting on the hugest smirk, and those funky eyes.
They never seem to loose how amazing they were.

"Come again Josh?" I was totally confused this time. But Justin butted in to
save my ignorance.

"Well, JC is right Ry. Lance was definitely blessed with the brains. But I
think someone forgot to give him some style." What had started out as a
snicker had turned into giggles.

"Yeah, his dancing couldn't be worse if he tried." Now the three of us were
in full blown, obnoxious and public laughter. I swear everyone was looking at
us, but we totally didn't care. We were having a great time and that was just
sweet.

"So where are we going guys?"

"This funky little place called the Shed. It's pretty cool, and we never get
hasseled there." Man, how Justin can smile so much I'll never know. *Sigh* I
don't know what it is, but I've never had so much fun with anyone before.
It's like Justin and I were totally meant to be friends. And JC... there's
something about him that makes me feel safe; as if no one could ever hurt me
when he's around. Man, I'm so lucky to have met these two.

"Sweet. I might not be all that great at it, but I definitely do love to
dance! So... we should think about going huh?"

"Yeah. Justin why don't you take my keys and take Ryan out to the car. I'll
pay for the meal and meet you two little boys out there."

"Hey! Who are you calling a little boy? We're both taller than you!" Holy
attitude. Well it was actually more of a whine. Justin must get bugged about
being the youngest alot.

"Yeah! And who said you were going to pay the bill Josh?" I totally owed it
to them for being here for me and I wanted to pay for it. But JC just smiled;
it was as if he had all the confidence in the world.

"Shut up Just and take my keys! Ryan you get out too. There's no way I'm
going to let you pay for this. You ate the least out of the three of us!"
That *was* true. I never thought that I'd ever meet someone that could out
eat me when I was hungry, but Justin and JC proved me wrong. And JC said he
wasn't even totally hungry! "Besides, I got the entertainment value from
watching you too goofs! Now get out there before I have to drag you two out
there!"

"Yes Daddy." Just and I both replied in unison and started to crack up. It
was totally hillarious. I mean I've never known anyone who thought exactly
like I did, but Justin totally did! It was so cool, we're like...
brothers or something; or at least we were meant to be brothers. We walked
out to JC's red Jeep. The top was down so I just jumped in the back. Justin
had to open the door before he got in.

"How come you got in the back Ry?" He had turned around in his seat to face
me.

"I just figured you'd wanna sit up front with Josh. Besides you had the keys
and I'd always wanted to jump into the back of a jeep so I did!"

"That was totally cool of you Ry. Hey... how come you're always thinking
about other people?"

"What do ya mean Just?" I knew exactly what he meant, but I was trying to
hide it. Maybe I was insecure; maybe I was just totally concerned about the
people around me. Whatever it was, it was just something I did and I knew
that I'd have a pretty hard time trying to explain it to him.

"You know, like you're always worried about what someone else wants. Like you
just did... you just said that you didn't call shotgun cuz you figured I
wanted it." Damn. Just knew me too damn well. I mean, I just met him, today,
and he already knew a lot about me. It was kinda weird, but kinda cool at the
same time.

"I dunno Just. It's just part of who I am. I don't think about it, I just do
it." Hopefully that'll work, cuz it was the best I was gonna give.

"Hmmm... cool!" He seemed totally happy for a minute and then his mood
suddenly changed. It seemed like he was nervous or something.

"You ok Just?" I was kinda worried now.

"Yeah, can I ask you a question Ry?"

"For sure. Shoot."

"Uh... well... shit! JC's coming, I'll ask you later k?"

"Sure Just."

"Hey guys! Ready to go?"

"You know it!" I was kinda worried about what Justin had on his mind, but I'm
sure he'll tell me soon. I mean, it did sound kinda important. I wonder why
he was worried about Josh hearing though. Weren't they like best friends or
something? How could he say something to me that he couldn't say to JC? Ugh!
I better stop worrying about it, because otherwise it'll drive me totally
nuts.

JC hopped into the driver's seat and started the Jeep. "Well," he started to
sing, "Here we go----!"

"That was pretty corny JC. I mean, it's bad enough we have to sing that song
on stage! And then you go around humming and singing it all the time. What's
up with that?" Justin sounded really agitated. Screw not worrying. I'm going
to ask him what's up the first chance I get.

"Well, I just like that song Just. What do you think Ry?"

"Huh? Oh. Uh, I guess it's ok. I think Justin's kinda right though. I mean,
it is kinda corny to sing your own songs all the time, even when you're not
performing." For a moment JC actually looked like he was hurt by what we had
just said, but then his awsome smile reappeared.

"Yeah, you guys are right I guess." He looked like he was thinking, and then
all of the sudden I could see the light bulb turn on. "It could be worse you
know..."

"How's that Josh?" I was interested in what JC had to say, but I was totally
worried about Justin. He had already been there for me and it looked like he
needed me to do the same. He was trying to hide that he was disturbed, and I
guess I didn't realize it until he started to say something. But now, it was
so obvious that he was hurting inside...  somwhere.

"I could be singing songs from the Backstreet Boys first album."

"Yeah, and we could be watching your first videos from Europe... but we
won't!" JC and I laughed. At least that got a snicker out of Justin. Maybe if
I could help take his mind off whatever it is that's bugging him, at least
until he can get it off his chest, then he'll be able to cheer up a little.
"Hey Just?"

"Yeah Ry?" The energy in his voice was gone. This sucked.

"Have you got any embarassing stories about any of the guys you want to
share?" One eyebrow went up, and he had this odd smirk on his face. Justin's
eyes had this weird glint in them; it was almost evil- or at least as evil as
Justin could get.

"You wouldn't!" JC had obviously seen the look on Justin's face, and he had
this look of total horror on his face.

"Hmmm... yes I would!" Ok, so I misjudged Justin a little. He had a *very*
evil side to him. JC had turned around to look at me, he was already
embarrassed.

"Ryan! You don't really want to..."

"JC! Watch the road!" Justin practically screamed as the front, right tire of
JC's Jeep began to climb onto the curve. It was kinda funny actually, because
Jeeps were meant for Off-Roading; just not in the city! JC whipped his head
back to the front and put the Jeep back where it was supposed to be: on the
ROAD!

"Yeah! I don't want to die today! Geez, great Best Friend you've got here
Just. I mean, I only just met him and he's already trying to kill us." Justin
was actually laughing. It wasn't that sort of half-laughter either. It was
definitely real laughter. Sweet! I've got his mind off whatever it is, now I
just have to keep it that way. "Anyways, what were you trying to say Josh
before we almost got to take a ride in an ambulance?"

"Uh, nevermind Ry. I can't remember." I think he was trying to make Justin
forget about telling me this obviously embarassing secret, but he wasn't
going to get off that easily. Even if he is cute. Cute??? What the fuck is
wrong with me. I can't be thinking this. Seriously, this is so wrong. Ok,
slow down, just think about something else.

"Josh, I think Just was about to tell me something about you."

"Yes!" Justin started bouncing up and down in the car seat like a two
year-old. Man, we really were young, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Well, let's see... there was the time that... no that wasn't really funny...
"Justin was totally teasing JC, and it was working. JC was gripping the
steering wheel so hard that his knuckles looked were white and his fingers
looked like pieces of chalk. "Ahh! I know. Once JC called my mom thinking it
was his mom. She totally played along until he hung up and he never knew
the difference." Justin and I both giggled a little bit and JC let out a huge
sigh of relief as he started to relax. That obviously wasn't the embarrassing
moment that had him clam up so bad. Justin turned around and saw the somewhat
disappointement on my face. He mouthed the word `later' and smiled telling me
that he'd spill the beans when JC wasn't around. "That reminds me... I should
call my mom." He pulled out his Startac and pressed a bunch of buttons. "Hey
mom, it's Just..." Justin started chatting away on his phone, or rather
listening to his mom chat away. Pretty much all that was coming out of his
mouth were the words yeah, no, and I guess. Mothers: gotta love them. I
figured I'd try and get to know JC a little better while I had the time alone.

"So Josh. Are you guys on some sort of break or something? I've gotten the
impression from Justin that you guys are pretty busy most of the time."

"Yeah Ry. Usually the suits make us work our asses off, but we just finished
a tour, so we have a few more weeks off before we have to head back into the
studio."

"What do you guys usually do on your time off?"

"Lance just got back from visiting his parents, and Chris and Joey are still
visiting their relatives. Just always comes back here to stay at home, and I
usually come with him. We're as close to being brothers as you can get
without being blood related. I even live in his house with him, his brother,
and his mom."

"Isn't that weird?"

"Weird? How?"

"You know, living with someone else's family? That would drive me nuts. I'd
never be able to relax cuz I'd always feel like I was imposing or something."

"Naw, it's not like that dude. It's totally cool. Justin's mom and brother
are great; just wait, as soon as Justin gets off that phone he'll tell us
that Lynn said `hi' and that he's supposed to bring you by tomorrow. She
can be a little exhausting at times, but it's only cuz she's a totally caring
person."

"Cool, I guess..." I thought for a minute about how I could ask about his
family, cuz I didn't know if it was going to be a sore subject. I know,
because I rarely talk about my Dad to people just because it IS a painful
subject. But I guess if we were going to be friends then I'd have to have to
courage to ask and he'd have to have to guts to tell me to piss off if I've
asked him something out of line. "What about your family?" It came out of my
mouth just louder than a whisper.

"Well, to be honest, I love them, but I can't stand them. Whenever I go home
we always end up getting into huge horrible fights, so it's just better that
I stay away."

"I'm sorry Josh. I guess I know how you feel."

"Don't worry about it Ry. It's something I've learned to live with it. Just
because I don't see them all the time, doesn't me I don't love them. Plus, I
still talk to my mom all the time. We're actually pretty close."

"Hmm.. sounds familiar. I have pretty much the same relationship with my mom.
I mean we're pretty close and stuff, but sometimes we just need space between
each other.

"Then you know exactly how I feel Ryan. Cool!" I was glad that JC didn't try
to press for info about my Dad. I don't know how polite I would've been
deflecting the question. Mind you, it sounds like he's in pretty much the
same situation, so I guess he just knew. Wow. It takes a lot of luck for a
guy to have met one totally cool person that wants to be friends with ya, but
to meet two? I can't remember the last time I've has such a sweet day.

JC turned into a parking lot and found a parking spot. Justin finally ended
his phone call with his mom. He rejoined JC and I in conversation and said,
"My mom says hi. And Ryan, I'm supposed to drag you over there tomorrow to
meet her." I looked at JC and we both started to crack up. Justin was
momentarily confused and the he realized that JC had told me about his mom
and he started to laugh too. "I guess you told Ryan about my mom, huh?"

"That I did. She's so predictable it's scary sometimes. But I guess that's
one of the reasons why we all love her so much."

"Yeah, at least she's not your real mom! You don't have to go through all the
extra pains!" Justin was whining again. Hmmm... we really were totally alike!

The next thing I know I felt someone put their hands on my shoulders. I
yelled and jumped up hitting my head on the roll bar of the jeep as JC,
Justin, and whoever was behind me started to laugh. I just grabbed the top of
my head in pain and turned around to see who it was. It was a guy who was
about average height with these incredible green eyes. They were really cool;
just like Josh's. He was wearing dark blue, painter jeans and a forest green
dress shirt with the top two buttons undone. He was still laughing when he
offered his hand. I took it.

"Hey, you must be Ryan, I'm Lance." He smiled. It wasn't quite as nice as
Justin's or JC's, but it was still definitely an awsome smile. Must run in
the group or something.

"'Sup? Yup that's me. Nice to meet ya Scoop." He looked kinda shocked
himself for a minute and then he started to laugh again.

"Don't tell me you're going to call me Scoop too!" He drawled out. Man, that
was definitely an American accent! "I really hate that nickname!" The smile
faded from my face.

"Oh. I'm totally sorry Lance. I won't do it again, I swear!" The smile didn't
leave his face, but he looked a little more serious.

"Woah, chill Ry, it's cool. If you wanna call me Scoop it's all right. I just
get sick of hearing it all the time you know?"

"Yeah." Even though he didn't show it I felt like I had totally offended him.
Well maybe I didn't, but I still felt like a total ass. I really hate when I
first meet someone because I always think that I'll do something to mess it
all up.

"Hey Scoop!" I cringed when JC said that as he slid out of the Jeep and did
some sorta handshake thing with him. It was more like giving someone five,
but with a bunch of other stuff thrown in. I could tell from the way they
greeted each other that they were pretty close too. It must be nice. Justin
got out and gave Lance a hug.

"It's been a while bro. Good to have ya back!" They let go and Justin faked
as if he were going up for a lay-up. "Are y'all ready to get crunk?" My mood
instantly changed with his sudden burst of energy. I smiled, jumped out of
the back of the Jeep and gave him five.

"For sure Just. Let's GO!" JC and Lance started to laugh at the two of us.

"Man you two *must* be the same age. Either that or you're both twins that
were seperated at birth!"

"JC's right! You two are like little hyper-active kids! Maybe you'll actually
be able to keep up with Justin, or better yet wear him out Ryan! We've been
trying for the past few years." Even though I had just met Lance I knew that
he'd probably become just as much of a friend as Justin or JC would. I just
had this feeling about the guys. They knew exactly how to make me feel
awsome.

"Maybe it's just because we eat our cereal in the morning!" I replied.
Justin started to laugh.

"See guys! I told you that all that cereal I eat is good for me!" He wrapped
his arm around my neck and put it in a choke hold. Loose enough that he
wouldn't hurt me, but tight enough that I couldn't get away. "This dude's a
keeper guys, and if any of you say otherwise I'm quitting the group and
starting one with him." We all started to laugh.

"Justin you do know that I can't sing that well right?" He let go of his hold
but kept his arm on my shoulder.

"Doesn't matter! I couldn't either until my mom put me into lessons. You'll
learn!" The smile on his face was priceless.

"Hmmm... I guess we're lucky Lance that I like the guy too, cuz otherwise
Justin would leave!" By now I was starting to blush. Heavily.

"Hey Ryan."

"Yeah Lance?"

"You're from Canada right?"

"Yup. Damn straight!"

"Well we have this cool invention. It's called sunscreen. It stops sun
burns... oh wait, that's not a sun burn! Oops! My bad." I didn't think it was
possible to go a darker shade of red but I did. The guys started to laugh and
I tried to hide my face under my blue shirt. JC walked over to me and pulled
my face out.

"How do you expect to take all of Justin's girls away from him if they can't
see you're face dude!" I started to laugh and Justin started to blush a
little as we walked past the line up and entered the club with
a nod from the huge black guy at the door.

It was loud inside. Really loud. I'd been to clubs before in Canada- it was
easy since the legal age in the provinces are all either 18 or 19, so I was legal half of the time and for the rest I had a fake ID- but they
were no where this big or loud. It was cool though. I liked my music loud, and it sounded pretty good too.
They were playing mostly techno and dance. So it was all good. We walked over to the bar and we all
grabbed a drink. JC and I grabbed a Rye and Coke, while Lance grabbed a Screwdriver and Justin grabbed
a Spiked Lemonade. Then the four of us walked over to a empty booth and sat down for a few minutes.
After I downed my drink before I put it down and pointed to the dance floor. I got up and the guys
followed. We must of stayed out there for about an hour before Lance pointed to a stairwell and started to
head that way with JC. Justin and I looked at each other and followed obediently like little puppies. When
we got up the stairs it was a little quieter. The music was loud enough, but at least we could hear each
other without having to yell at the top of our lungs. We all sat down at an empty booth. I was on one end
with Justin beside me; Lance took the other end with JC between him and Justin.

"This place is sweet!"

"Yeah, this is totally our favorite club. Mostly cuz we never get hasseled and I get in with no problems."
A waitress appeared and asked us what we wanted. JC had another Rye and Coke and Justin another
Spiked Lemonade, but Lance and I just had cokes. I wasn't a heavy drinker unless I wanted to be, and I
didn't want to be when I had just met these guys. I figured that Lance probably didn't drink all that much.

"How long are you here for Ryan?"

"You can call me just Ry if you want Lance, and I don't know. I'm kinda on an indefinite vacation."

"K, cool! We'll have to make sure we show you around. You know keep up the `international relations'
right?" We all laughed at his cheesey joke. I lifted my glass to find that it was empty already. I must have
been thirsty. I started to get up.

"Are y'all ready to go back downstairs?" Justin nodded and began to follow.

"Definitely!" I looked at JC and Lance as niether of them had moved.

"Josh? Lance?"

"Naw, it's cool Ry. We need to conserve our energy a little bit. We'll join you two in a but k?" Justin
laughed.

"Ok Daddy!" I started to laugh too. Just and I headed down the stairs and back onto the dance floor. There
were a lot of hot girls there. I mean `wow!' and they all seemed to converge around Justin and I, and then
Josh and Lance too when they joined us about half-an-hour later. I stayed on the floor pretty much all
night, so did Justin. Well, except for our brief trips to the washroom and to the bar to get something to
drink. I had one more Rye and Coke before sticking with just Coke. JC and Justin didn't though. They
were pretty gone by the time that we dragged ourselves out of the club at two-thirty.

"I'm beat!" I looked at Justin and JC and decided that even though they weren't completely wasted, there
was no way either of them should be driving. "Lance do you wanna drive these two home or should I just
take them in the cab with me and drop them off before I hit the hotel? There's no way I'm going to let
Josh drive like this."

"Come on Ry. I haven't had that much." Like I said he wasn't that gone, but still enough to get him and
Justin killed. Remember the little curb climbing we did this evening?

"JC he's right." There was total authority in Lance's voice and I knew that Josh wasn't going to argue
with him. "And to answer your question Ry, niether."

"Huh?" Confused again. Why am I always playing the role of a blond? Oh yeah! I *AM* blond!

"Well it's like this. Since we can't leave JC's Jeep here and it's really late, you can either drive my Rav4
or the Jeep and follow me in the other vehicle to my place. There's enough room for all of us to chill there
plus it's a lot closer than either Justin's place or your hotel I'm guessing."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. No wonder they call you the brains of the group!"

"For sure!"

"Can you drive standard Ry?" This was JC. He was holding out his keys while leaning up agains the
passenger side door.

"Yup."

"K, well why don't you drive Justin and I and we'll follow Lance in his car?"

"Sure, that way I won't feel so weird about driving someone else's car."

"K, well let's go. My place is only like ten minutes from here."

"A'ight!" I jumped into the Jeep and saw that Justin had passed out in the back seat. JC got into the
passenger side and sorta leaned his head against the window, but he was still awake. I started the Jeep and
followed Lance in his Green Rav4. We turned left out of the parking lot and drove a little down the road
until we turned off the road to get onto a highway.

"Hey Josh?"

"Yeah Ry?" He sounded about as tired as I felt. It *had* been a really long day.

"Thanks."

"For what?" Great, now he was tired and confused! Exactly like me!

"For being here dude. I'm so glad I met you guys. It was just what I needed."

"No worries Ry. I know that we're all just as glad to have met you as you are us. Lance and I talked a little
bit about you when you and Justin left us to go downstairs. We both think it's totally great that you're so
cool with us. A lot of people out there just want to know us because we're popular, but we can tell that
you're not like that, and it's really rare. Something that we want to hold on to."

Even though he was slurring a few of the words I knew that he meant it from his heart. It meant a lot to
me to know that the guys were just as cool with me as I was with them. It's like... I dunno. I guess Kevin
must really be watching over me. Thanks Kev. A tear slipped out of my left eye, but since JC was sitting
on the other side he wouldn't be able to see it. I saw Lance put his blinker on to pull off at an exit and I
followed him. We ended up on a road that followed the beach. It was a few more minutes until Lance
turned left onto a driveway and parked his car. It was a nice place the backed onto the beach. It was white
and had one of those funky red tiled roofs my mom always called "California Style." He jumped out as I
parked beside him.

"Should I put the top up Josh?"

"Naw, don't worry about it." Lance came up to the door and opened it for me.

"Evening Monsieur." I started to laugh. It was really funny, but I was tired.

"Thanks Lance. Should we wake Justin or just carry him in?" JC had gotten out and was standing beside
us.
"We should probably just carry him in- we wouldn't be able to wake him anyways- but I can't do it right
now. It's a good thing I didn't drive."

No worries. Lance why don't you grab the door and I'll carry Just." Lance just nodded as I pulled the seat
forward so I could get at the back seat. I picked Justin up and put him in a fireman's carry. He was
heavy(well only about as heavy as me! Maybe 180 lbs at the extreme most), but I was a lifeguard and
completely used to carrying people.

"Are you sure you're ok Ry? I could give my keys to JC and help you."

"Naw, it's all good!" I followed Lance and JC through the front door as Lance unlocked it. We walked
down a cream coloured hallway and turned into the first room on the right. Lance pulled the sheets back
on the bed. I walked over to it and gently placed Justin down. I took off his shoes. JC then pulled off his
pants while I helped Lance get Justin's shirt off. I backed away as JC pulled the sheets over Justin and we
all left the room and closed the door.

"JC, you can stay in Chris' room as usual."

"K, cool. Thanks Lance. `Night guys."

"'Night." Lance and I replied simultaneosly as JC walked across the hall into another room and shut the
door.

"Ryan, I'm going to give you my room tonight. Justin has a room here with some of his stuff in it, and JC
sometimes crashes here when Chris isn't here."

"No way dude! I so couldn't kick you out of your own room!" He just gave me the evil eye.

"Yes you can, and you will. Besides, I get up really early in the morning most of the time so it's not big
deal. I'll just crash on my totally comfortable couch."

"But I could easily stay on the couch Lance!"

"Yeah, but then I would end up waking you up when I got up in the morning. So don't even try and argue
with me!" I sighed. Man, I really couldn't win an argument with any of these guys could I?

"Ok, but I definitely owe you one Lance."

"Don't worry about it Ry. Follow me." I followed him down the hall into his room. It was a really cool
forest green colour and all of his furniture was made out of pine. He had this cool, huge sleigh bed in the
middle of the room.

"Wow! This room is really sweet!"

"Thanks. Well I'm going to go leave a message on Lynn's machine so she doesn't worry where Justin is
in the morning. When you get up in the morning don't be afraid to poke through my stuff for something
to wear, most of it whould fit you. And," he pointed to a door "the washroom's in there so feel free to take
a shower too."

"Lance?" I looked at him and he must have seen the look in my eyes, so he walked over to me and gave
me a hug. Just what I had needed. "Thanks." I let go and nodded.

"Goodnight Ry."

"'Night Lance. Thanks again." He just smiled.

"K. See ya in the morning."

He closed the door and I could hear him walk down the hall. I got undressed
and crawled into the bed.  Man has this ever been one incredible day. It's
been almost like a dream. I didn't have much time to think about it,
because pretty soon I really was dreaming.

K, well I managed not to have a semi-cliff hanger this time. I don't know
how long it's going to take to get the next part out, hopefully soon. But
anyways, I'm going to try some new things in the next chapter, but ya'll
are just going to have to wait. Anyways `til then stay totally cool!