Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2000 10:11:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jay Chords <chords4@yahoo.com>
Subject: Deceiving Secrets - 12

Hi, sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out.
But da da da da here it is! yay! I hope it was worth
the wait.  Send any comments, questions or hateful
letters to : chords4@yahoo.com  or you can IM me on
aol im : teDDybearkrU (it's gonna be changed soon i
think)  but anyways..here are some stories i'm
addicted to :

Justin's Dark Angel (this one is beyond amazing)
Nsync Lance N JC
Not Meant to Be
Intimate Stranger/Kidnapped
Lance in Shining Armour
Brian and Me
Forever
Escape
Busta
Dream of a Guardian Angel

Okay, I hope you take some time after you read this
chapter to look at those stories if you haven't
already.  They're wonderfully written. And believe me,
it's hard to get me addicted to a story, so these ones
are my selected few of this chapter.  Okay, here comes
the boring stuff:

Disclaimer : cut my life into pieces..this is my last
resort..suffocation no breathing

Nice disclaimer, huh? hehe what can I say? I'm
addicted to music.  Okay so you know how to reach me
(check) you have MY disclaimer (check) and I've
managed to make an ass out of myself (check) okay, I
think we can get onto Chapter 12 now! *hugs to all*
Please e-mail me!!!! Oh, and now I've begged (check).

-Jay


				Chapter 12


	AJ stood outside Brian's room.  The door was left slightly ajar
as he leaned against the frame watching Mica and Brian sleep.
Deep inside it killed him.  He thought that it was because they were
happy and that they had each other to get through all of this but there
was something else.  AJ's eyes kept drawing him back to Brian's
sleeping form.  He smiled and watched the beautiful angel sleep. He
was so innocent.  Then it hit him. He was falling for Brian.  His best
friend.

	Jeremy was alone in the house.  Howie, Brian, AJ, and Mica had
gone off food shopping.  He had wanted to stay home and collect his
thoughts.  They hadn't been gone for more than two hours when there
was a knock on the door.  He peaked through the peep hole and
groaned.
	"Hello Kevin," he greeted him with as much of a smile as he
could muster up.
	"Hi Jay, can I come in?"  Jeremy opened the door wider.
	"Free world."  Kevin took that invitation and stepped inside and
shut the door behind him.  Jeremy crossed his arms over his chest.
	"Look, Jay, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding earlier."
	"Misunderstanding? Misunderstanding?! Jesus Christ Kevin
you were engaged to AJ!"
	"Okay, my stupidity.  How about that?"
	"A bit better."
	"Listen, Jay, I want you back."  Jeremy couldn't help but let out
a guffaw.
	"YOU want ME back?  Shouldn't you be saying this to AJ?"
	"To hell with AJ.  I want you."  Jeremy couldn't believe his ears.
	"It's not gonna happen, Kevin," he said with authority.
	"Why not? We were so good together," Kevin smiled and tried
to put his arms around Jeremy's waist.  He moved away from Kevin's
towering form.
	"You cheated on AJ. How do I know you wouldn't cheat on me?
Besides, I like Howie."
	"I've changed.  How do you know Howie likes you back?"
	"Because we have a date tonight."  Kevin mentally kicked
himself. He was too late.  'Oh well. Plan B then,' he thought.
	"What can Howie give you that I can't?"
	"I don't know, Kevin.  I don't know what you can give me but
I'm damn sure that Howie can do it a thousand times better than
you," he stared him down.  "You don't understand Kevin. I don't want
you back.  You totally ruined any chance of me trusting you and I'm
pretty sure AJ's going to have as much trouble trusting you as well."
	"I know that and that's why I'm here. I want to apologize for all
the stupid things I've done."
	"Well you've apologized, so get out."
	"Jay," he half whispered.
	"Out!"  Kevin didn't waste any time.  He grabbed Jeremy by the
hips and pulled him against his own muscular body.  He stared into
Jeremy's eyes for a second before pulling him into a long kiss.
Jeremy tried to push Kevin away but his grasp was stronger than his
own.
	"Oh my god!" came from behind them. Jeremy knew that voice.
It was Howie. Jeremy continued to struggle and finally he pulled
himself away from Kevin.  Jeremy looked at Howie who ran up the
stairs without another word.
	"Howie!" he called before trying to follow.  Kevin grabbed his
arm.
	"Come back to me, Jay. Please, I'm so much better for you than
him."
	"How dare you," he glared and found his fist connecting with
Kevin's jaw.  "You stay the hell away from me," he demanded and ran
up the stairs.  'Oh god I've lost him!' Jeremy thought.    He knocked
on Howie's door.
	"Go away," he yelled.  Jeremy could hear the despair in his
voice.
	"Please, Howie, let me in.  It wasn't what it looked like. I don't
love him.  I don't even like him," he pleaded through the wood.  He
heard the door unlock as it opened a little.  Jeremy squeezed through
the crack.
	"I know you don't like him. It's just that it hurt so much. I felt
my heart breaking, Jay."  Jeremy pulled Howie close to him.  He ran
his fingers through his long black hair.
	"I'm sorry you had to see it."
	"You know who you remind me of?" he asked, bringing his gaze
up to Jeremy's.
	"Who?"
	"Nick.  The two of you with that long blonde hair."
	"Should I be worried that he might steal you away from me?"
Howie laughed.
	"Not in a million years."
	"Well there's one less thing to worry about," Jeremy chuckled.
"So is are date still on?"
	"Absolutely.  Pick you up at around 7?"
	"Can't wait," Jeremy grinned.
	"See you then."


	"What was that?" Brian frowned at Kevin. He had seen the
whole thing.
	"Lay off Brian."
	"No, we have every right to know," AJ appeared next to Brian,
his arms folded over his chest.
	"AJ, honey."
	"Don't pull that 'honey' bull shit on me. Get out."
	"Ah, come on."
	"Get out," Brian commanded.  Kevin looked from AJ to Brian
and then to the stairs.  He shook his head and left the house
practically knocking Mica over.
	"Nice seeing you too," she glared.  Howie and Jeremy peered
from the stairs.
	"He gone?" Jeremy asked.
	"Yeah, it's safe to come out."  The two emerged with an arm
draped around the other's waist.
	"So you two kiss and make up?" they nodded and grinned at
each other.
	"Well at least things for you are peachy," AJ spat out before
running up the stairs and slamming his door.  They all winced.
	"I'll go talk to him," Howie said.  Jeremy stopped him.
	"It's my fault. I'll go talk to him."
	"You sure?"  Jeremy nodded.
	"Yeah."

	Jeremy stood at the bottom of the stairs, they seemed to stretch
on forever.  Like a mountain waiting to be conquered.  He sighed and
climbed them.  Uneasily, he knocked on AJ's bedroom door.  No
answer.
	"AJ?"  Still no answer.  He tried to doorknob, it turned easily
under his grasp.  He pushed the door open.  AJ was lying face down
on the bed.  "AJ, please talk to me."  AJ just sniffled and shook his
head.  "I'm sorry for whatever I did."
"You didn't do anything," he heard from AJ's fluffy refuge.  "It's
Kevin.  He was mine for three years and he wants you.  He loves you.
Not me.  But you and Howie are in love.  Where does that leave me?
Little old AJ. I'm old news now."
"Kevin's no good for either of us.  You want commitment, I want
commitment.  He doesn't.  You can find so many other men."
"No, I can't. Don't you see," AJ finally lifted up his tear stained
face. "If I tell the wrong person, my career is ruined!  With Kevin, he
was someone I knew, someone who I was around all the time.  I didn't
have to deal with a long distance relationship like the other guys did.
Now, what am I gonna do?"
"I don't know, AJ. I really don't know.  I wish I could tell you
but I can't.  God works in mysterious ways.  Maybe you and Kevin can
still be together.  Maybe this is just a pot hole."  AJ shrugged.
"Maybe," he sighed. "That's a big word."


Kevin was driving through downtown Orlando.  His mind was
racing.  Jeremy didn't want him.  Jeremy wanted Howie.  AJ.  He
didn't know what AJ wanted.  He didn't even know what he, himself,
wanted.  He sighed and turned on the radio.
"This song goes out to Emily from Adam.  It's The Backstreet
Boys 'The One'."  Kevin listened to the words of his own song.  He felt
they should've brought some sort of reassurance to his current
situation.  Somehow, it just made things harder.
"I have to get AJ back," he stated out loud.

A cloud of steam followed Jeremy into his bedroom.  He smiled
as he routed through his wardrobe, trying to find something suitable
to wear.  Frustrated, he opened his door.
"Mica!" he yelled, pulling on a shirt and track pants to cover his
cuts.
"What?"
"I need you!"
"Somehow that doesn't sound right," she yelled back.
"Mica," he whined.
"Fine, fine," she came running up the stairs.  "What do you
need?"
"I can't find anything to wear."  She laughed.
"Come on, Brian's in there helping out your man with the same
problem."
"He's not 'my man'."
"Oh whatever. I'll be surprised if y'all don't do it tonight."
"Shut up and help me find something to wear, perv."
"If you're gonna talk to me like that then you can find your own
hideous outfit," she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry just please help me!"  She
grinned and routed through the dresser.  Jeremy watched in awe as
she threw out a pair of khaki pants, a blue and white button down
shirt and a tight wife beater.
"These should show off that stomach of yours," she teased and
tickled his sides.
"Stop, stop," he giggled.  "Thank you, Mica.  You're the
greatest."
"I know.  What would you do without me?"
"I don't even wanna think about it."
"Get dressed.  Howie is 'picking you up' in about 15 minutes.
Oh, and leave your hair down.  Don't do something freaky, okay?"
she pleaded.  Jeremy couldn't help a chuckle.
"I promise. Thanks again."  She just grinned and left him to his
task.   She knocked on Howie's door.
"Who is it?"
"Mica."
"Come in." she walked in to find Brian and Howie going
through his closet.
"Need any help?"
"Are you implying that we're incapable of finding clothes?"
Brian argued.
"Geez. Just trying to help."
"Sorry," he grumbled as a pair of jeans were tossed on the floor
along with a green and white button down shirt.  She picked up the
two articles of clothing and smoothed them out on Howie's bed.
Silently, she slipped from the room and walked down the stairs,
laughing to herself.

Twenty minutes later,  Mica and Brian were standing in the
living room, leaning against the back of the couch, waiting for Howie
and Jeremy.  They heard one door slam and Howie appeared, a shy
smile on his lips.  Mica smiled when she saw that he was clad in the
outfit she had laid out for him.
"Nice," she grinned as the second door closed.  Jeremy timidly
walked down the stairs.  He felt like he was walking toward his prom
date.
"Hi," he whispered when he saw Howie.  Nothing else mattered,
just seeing Howie brought a smile to his face.
"Hey," Howie offered his hand to Jeremy.  A simple action that
meant the world at that moment.  Jeremy took it and they entwined
fingers.
"Now, I expect you to have him home at a decent hour,
Howard," Brian said in a fatherly tone.
"Yes sir, Mr. Littrell, sir," Howie grinned.  "Mrs. Littrell."
"Bye Mom bye Dad!" Jeremy giggled as they left.  They both
burst out laughing once they left the confines of the house.  They
climbed into Howie's car and pulled out of the driveway.  "So where
are you whisking me off to?"
"You'll see," Howie grinned.

Jeremy sat in anticipation of what Howie had in store for him.
He stopped in front of a restaurant that looked closed.
"Uh, Howie, is this place even open?"  Howie just grinned and
got out.  Jeremy was about to do the same when Howie appeared and
opened the door for him and held out his hand.  Jeremy took it and
hopped out.
"A friend of mine owns this place and he agreed to close it for a
few hours for us."  Jeremy was rendered speechless for a second.
"You really didn't have to do that," he tried to convince him.
"I know but I wanted to.  I wanted this to be our night."
"If I don't watch myself, you'll have me on a plane to Paris,"
Jeremy laughed.
"Plane trips are reserved for the second date," Howie grinned at
him and guided Jeremy to the front entrance.  He opened it for
Jeremy a second time to the dimly lit restaurant as a man came out of
the kitchen.
"Howie," he grinned and hugged him.
"Hey Mike thanks for letting us use the place tonight."
"No problem.  Anything for you, I'll show you to the table."
Howie took Jeremy's hand as they followed Mike to a table near the
back.  It was away from any windows to escape prying eyes and it was
open enough to feel real.  That was the most perfect dinner of
Jeremy's life.

"So what's Ohio like?" Howie was asking Jeremy as they walked
along a beach that night.  Shoes in hand, the stars overhead, and two
happy and connected hearts.
"You've been there before."
"Only for a few days. I've never really gotten to see what it was
really like."
"It's really flat," Jeremy laughed. "Nothing really happens.
Except for the occasional drunk driver and a concert."
"Nothing at all?"
"Nope."  They sunk into silence.  Not an uncomfortable silence
but one that put a smile on your face.  Jeremy's hand found Howie's
and gave it a light squeeze.  They playfully bumped shoulders and
continued walking, the sand sliding in between their toes.  Howie
brought the back of Jeremy's hand to his lips and kissed it.
"Why Mr. Dorough, I do believe you're coming onto me,"
Jeremy grinned.
"Would you blame me?"
	"There's something you should know, though."
	"And what would that be?"
	"I don't put out on the first date."


Lisa lay in Nick's arms.  His slow, steady breath met her neck
every other moment.  She traced his abdomen with the tip of her
finger and smiled.
"Just you wait, Nick Carter, one of these days your going to be
all mine for the taking."


Sorry the date wasn't very descriptive.  It's 4: 51 am so my brain
isn't fully functioning. :P  You know how to contact me : chords4@yahoo.com