Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 06:59:11 +0000 From: Angel1313@att.net Subject: Devotion ch.32 Devotion Chapter Thirty-Two: Breaking Up is Hard Enough Disclaimer: Hey, I'm back! I know it took a little while, but it was a hell of a lot faster then last time, ne? Thank you to everyone who wrote to me, I know I've been gone a while, but it's really you all who's getting me to continue this! Anyway, I should really get to the actual *disclaimer.* >.< I don't know *NSYNC or any *real* information about them. I hope you like this chapter, I know it's shorter then usual, but it shouldn't be too bad. And don't get *too* scared from the title! ^_~ -Angel ^_^ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter Thirty-Two: Breaking Up is Hard Enough "Justin?" JC called as he walked into their shared hotel room. "I'll be out in a moment," the blonde yelled back, around a mouthful of toothpaste. JC took the chance to sit down on his bed, having no need to get changed for the night to come; he had basically been in his pajamas all day anyway. After a few minutes, the door to the bathroom opened, and Justin appeared in its wake. "Just, what was that all about, back there?" JC demanded, not wasting any time skirting around the issue. "What are you talking about? I was tired," the nineteen year-old responded absently, walking over to sit on his bed. "Okay, now I *know* something is wrong," JC insisted, folding his arms across his chest. "You never sit on your own bed." Justin laughed lightly, laying back to let his head rest against one of the pillows. JC remained as he was. "I'm serious, Justin. What's wrong?" "Nothing," Justin lied, cursing JC for being able to read him so well. He knew that the brunette would see through him in an instant. "That's bull. Why did you leave so abruptly?" "What's with you all of a sudden?" Justin shot back, sitting up once again. "Why are you being so aggressive?" That stopped JC in his tracks. "I just- I'm just concerned," the twenty-four year-old managed to sputter out. "Concern?" Justin repeated. "You call this concern? Like you *really* care." JC opened his mouth to protest, but the blonde didn't give him the chance. "Save it. I know why you were acting so cold earlier and I'm going to save you the trouble. We're through, Josh." JC retracted as if he had been slapped. "What?" he whispered, not trusting his voice any louder. "You heard me," Justin paused a minute, his confidence beginning to slip away as he watched the pain as it appeared across his bandmate's face. "We're through." He hardly managed the last part without letting his voice shake. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to keep his resolve if he continued to stare into JC's deep blue eyes, now clouded over with pain, Justin stood and walked into the kitchen. Unfortunately, there the nineteen year-old only found more reminders of his relationship with JC: the cereal that his would-be boyfriend had gone out and gotten him, a letter that he'd left when he went to pick up his mother at the airport... By the time Justin heard the footsteps behind him, it was already too late. Two warm, strong arms wrapped around his waist. The blonde mildly protested, but it was futile. "Justin," JC whispered, leaning his head against the younger man's. "Please. We've hardly been together and now you're already calling it quits? I thought you wanted this. I thought you loved me-" "I do!" Justin protested, his voice choked with tears he was trying to retain. "Then why? I knew that this would happen, Just. I didn't expect it so soon, but I knew this would happen. I just need to know why, though." As he spoke the words, JC's own voice was heavy with emotion. /He knew?/ Justin though in puzzlement. /What does he mean by that?/ "How did you know?" Justin couldn't help but ask, his voice's strength back as the teen focused on the question, a distraction from the situation. "Remember the other night? Why I didn't want us to become romantically involved? Relationships always end up this way. God, Justin, I didn't want this to happen!" "You already regret that we got together?" Justin accused, wrenching out of JC's grasp. "No!" the brunette exclaimed. "No," he said again, more softly. "It was worth it, Just, to hold you in my arms- even for one night- knowing that you were mine." That was all it took for Justin to break down. He sunk to his knees and finally let the tears flow as the fight slipped out of his body. "Aw, Just," JC whispered, crouching down beside the younger man. "Please, don't cry. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have, but- I just don't want to lose you." "Josh," the blonde sobbed, latching on to his companion. "I'm sorry! Earlier, when you wouldn't tell the other guys about us, I just thought-" "Just," JC interrupted the nineteen year-old. "Is that what this is all about? You thought that I was going to dump you?" Justin nodded mutely, having buried his head in his friend's chest once again. "Sweetie, you know I'd never do that. I didn't want to tell them because I wasn't sure if we were ready. There are going to be a lot of questions, Just, and I don't want you to be overwhelmed, that's all." "Really?" Justin asked uncertainly, sounding much younger then his nineteen years. Smiling, JC gently wiped away the few tears that were still making their way down the blonde's face. "Really." Falling foreword against the other man, Justin whispered, "I love you Josh." "I love you, too," JC murmured in return, burying his face in the teen's soft curls. A brief silence passed between the two as they each basked in the other's presence. Finally, Justin spoke, his voice quiet, but heavy with remorse. "I'm sorry, Josh. I'm just... I'm just so sorry." Justin's tears were threatening to spill over again, but JC's smile put away all of the young man's worries. "Just, I understand. You were scared, that's all." "Can you forgive me?" the blonde asked hopefully. "If you'll take me back," JC replied, amusement lighting his deep blue eyes. Throwing his arms around the brunette's neck, Justin exclaimed, "Of course!" The whole motion ended with a sloppy kiss the nineteen year-old planted on his boyfriend's lips. "I'm glad you took me back," JC murmured as he and Justin settled into bed. "I'm glad, too," the blonde agreed, snuggling up against the older man. "These big beds get to be pretty cold at night, when you're alone." "Just?" JC asked. "I was thinking more in terms of the *emotional* satisfaction I get out of this relationship." Justin laughed lightly. "I know. I was just playing with ya." Rolling his eyes, the twenty-four year-old muttered, "Naturally." Turning serious, Justin looked up at his companion and said, "Josh, I love you. You know that right?" Smiling down and him, JC whispered, "Yeah, I do. And I love you, too, Justin." Returning the brunette's smile with a mischievous one of his own, Justin asked, "How much do you love me?" Kissing the top of the blonde's curls, JC replied, "More then you will ever know, Just. More then you will ever know." The answer seemed to satisfy the nineteen year-old, for he quickly settled down. Within moments, he was fast asleep. Hearing his companion's breathing even out, JC let out a sigh of relief. It had been a long day, and the next few days promised to be even longer. /At least I patched things up with Justin,/ the twenty-four year-old reasoned, still amazed that things had needed patching up at all. "Why do you always have to be such a handful, Justin?" JC wondered aloud. His sleeping beauty made no response, and the brunette simply smiled. "Ah, what does it matter? We're together now, and that's all that's important." Even as he tried to convince himself of the truth in that statement, a little voice in the back of JC's mind was wondering just how much *Justin* loved *him.* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, what did you think? Questions, comments, etc. are welcomed! Feedback is *always* appreciated, so don't hesitate to write! I'll try to be quicker with the next chapter, but I need to decide what direction I want to take this in. Plus, I've been really into writing other fanfiction (still slash, don't worry! ^_^) lately, so it might take a little. Anyway, I hope that this wasn't *too* bad! Thanks for reading! -Angel ^_^