Date: Fri, 7 Jul 2000 21:46:18 EDT
From: MyKaHoLLy@aol.com
Subject: Dirty Little Secrets 5

Author's Note: Hello everyone! I hope that you like this. Please send me
feedback. I got a new mattress so I should be getting more Zzzz's. That
means I'll be more awake when I write. I have up to part 7 done. I should
have had this all done before sending it in but oh well. I wasn't thinking
when I sent it in. Once again, send me feedback!!

(Note to the guy that wanted to be Lance's boyfriend, e-mail me. I need to
tell you something.)

Disclaimer: NSync is not gay. This is not real. If you are under 18 or
offended by homosexual material, get out.

		     * * * Dirty Little Secrets * * *
			     *   Chapter 5  *
				     *

	Justin walked into his house. He made his way up the stairs to his
room. He threw himself down on the bed. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept
in so long and when he did sleep it was only for a few hours. He just
wanted to close his eyes and sleep forever.

A knock came at his door. "Justin," JC's voice called through the door.

Justin sat up in bed and groaned. 'So much for sleep.' "Come in." he
yelled.

The door opened and JC stepped into the room. He locked the door behind
him. "Hey Just," he said.

"What do you want?" Justin asked grumpily.

"I want to stay with you tonight. We don't have to do anything. I just
wanna feel you in my arms." JC said.

"Fine," Justin said and pulled back the blankets on his bed. He stripped
off his clothes, leaving only his dark blue silk boxers.

JC did the same and laid next to Justin. He wrapped his arms around Justin
and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Josh, I need to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth."
Justin said as he looked into JC's eyes.

"What is it?" JC wondered.

"Josh, do you love me?" Justin asked.

"Um, I." JC stuttered. He averted his eyes. He couldn't do this. He
couldn't lie to Justin. He just couldn't do that. He knew he was hurting
Justin but he would hurt him even more by lying to him. "Let's just go to
bed, alright?" JC asked, changing the subject to save his ass.

Justin sighed. 'At least I know the answer now. Well, if he doesn't love me
then he won't really care if I fool around with Lance.' He closed his eyes
and snuggled up to JC.  JC was beginning to feel bad about not loving
Justin but he didn't and there was nothing he could do about it. He finally
had the one thing he had wanted for so long but he meant nothing to him.

* * *

"Isn't there anything good on?" Lance asked himself as he sat on the couch,
channel surfing. He finally just shut off the TV and got up. "I wonder if
Justin wants to go swimming or something?" he thought out loud as he
grabbed the portable phone off the floor. He dialed Justin's number.

"Hello?" came a grumpy voice.

"Hey Just. Sorry for waking you." Lance apologized.

"It's alright man. So what did you need?" Justin asked.

Lance thought for a moment. "Do you wanna do something later? Like a movie
or dinner or something?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. You hungry now?" Justin asked feeling a sharp pain in his
stomach.

"Yeah, I'm starved." Lance replied.

"Well, you wanna go somewhere and get something to eat?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, sure." Lance replied, trying to hide his excitement. "Where do you
wanna go?"

"I dunno. How 'bout I come over there and we can decide where we want to
go?" Justin suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'm gonna take a quick shower. I'll leave the door
unlocked for you." Lance said.

"Kay, bye Lance. Don't worry. I'm not bringing JC along." Justin hung up
the phone.

Lance sighed. He unlocked his door and walked into the bathroom. He quickly
undressed and stepped into the shower. He stuck his head under the stream,
soaking his hair. He grabbed the shampoo and massaged it through his
hair. He quickly rinsed it out. He felt a pair of hands on his ass and spun
around. He opened his eyes and came face to face with Justin. He wrapped
his arms around Justin's back and leaned up against him. "You're so hott."
Lance whispered hoarsely. He could barely breathe, he was so nervous.

"You're hotter." Justin said and pressed his lips against Lance's. He
licked Lance's lips, trying to slip his tongue into the older boy's mouth.

Lance opened his mouth, allowing Justin's tongue to slip inside. He
massaged Justin's tongue with his own. He pulled back and stared into
Justin's eyes.

"How can something that feels so right, be so wrong?" Justin thought.

Lance smiled and held Justin tighter. "Come on Just. You should leave. JC
already hates me. I don't want him to hate you, too," he said, urging
Justin to get out of the shower before anything happened. He didn't want
Justin to leave but he knew there would be consequences that he nor Justin,
wished to face..

Justin sighed and stepped out of the shower. "Fine. I'll be
downstairs. Come get me when you're ready to go." Justin said and left the
room, gathering his clothes as he went.

Lance quickly finished his shower and changed clothes. He walked down the
stairs into the den. He found Justin curled up in a little ball on the
couch. He knelt down in front of Justin and placed his hand on Justin's
shoulder. "Just, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Justin said, refusing to look up at Lance.

Lance could tell Justin was crying. He felt terrible. "Justin, what's
wrong? Please tell me what I did to make you cry." Lance pleaded softly. He
gasped as he saw Justin's tear streaked face. He quickly wrapped his arms
around the younger boy, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"You didn't do anything. It's me. All me." Justin said, his voice
cracking. "I told Josh I loved him. I asked him if he loved me and he
wouldn't say anything. He just looked away from me and told me to go to
sleep."

"Listen Just. It's only been a few days. Give him time." Lance said softly
as if talking to a little kid.

"Lance, I'm so confused. I like you a lot. When I'm with you, everything is
perfect. I'm always worried when I'm with Josh. I keep thinking about how I
look. I'm so nervous around him but I love him so much. Lance, I've never
loved anyone as much as I love him." Justin said. He attempted to stop his
tears but he only cried harder, causing his body to shake with the powerful
sobs.

Lance held Justin tighter in his arms and rocked him back and forth. He ran
his fingers through Justin's hair. "Justin, everything will be alright."

"No, it won't!" Justin yelled, jerking away from Lance. "Everything will
not be alright! JC will never love me!"

"Justin, give him time. He has to be sure that he loves you before he'll
say anything. He doesn't want to say it and then have to take it back if he
finds out he was wrong." Lance said, rubbing Justin's back. "JC has never
really been in love with anyone. He may not even know what to look
for. Just give him time."

"Thanks Lance" Justin said quietly. He wiped his tears from his eyes with
the back of his hands. His stomach growled.

"Yeah, that said it. I'm starving!" Lance laughed.

* * * *

So, what did you think? I changed it slightly from the version on my
site. The version on the site sucks! :)

E-mail me at:

MyKaHoLLy@aol.com
	-or-
MyKa_HoLLy@ureach.com


Visit my site at:

http://www.maxpages.com/nsyncsecrets/

-or-

http://bounce.to/nsyncsecrets/