Date: Wed, 27 Sep 2000 04:05:30 EDT From: WriterGray@aol.com Subject: Don't Want You Back-Part 15 Warning! If you not old enough leave otherwise enjoy it, it's fiction! Congratulations to all the winners of the BBSA awards. I think it is a interesting way to recognize our peers and it seems to make a lot of people happy! I am still here alive for a little while longer along with the characters of DWYB. Read on good friends and enjoy! Again, read the other great series' out there. There are a lot of them and these are a few of my favorites: Love's Greater Grace Dream Lance Brian's 7 seas of loneliness When you say nothing at all Superman can't fly Fixing the Backstreet Boy's Kevin behind the scenes We admitted it Lonely Lance My Surprise Roamnce Because I love you Red Rose on a Snow Day Thanks for reading writergray@aol.com Don't Want You Back-Part 15 'No quite his time' By Grayson S Vellar "Then a kiss I place upon your lips. If this is the last time I kiss you may it last a thousand years," Howie said crying harder as AJ held him tight. He was still speaking into the speakerphone as he rocked back and forth helpless to the cries of his love. "Goodbye Howie," Glen said in his last breath. "Is he?" Rorry asked one of the Paramedics that leaned close by. "I'm afraid so," he answered while reaching out and hanging up the phone. "No!" Howie shouted abruptly standing up and throwing the phone at the door. "This is not how it's supposed to be!" "No, Howie it's not supposed to be," AJ said pulling him in tight as he cried a thousand tears for loss and a thousand more for the love never to be held. (Early that evening leaving him home alone was the wrong thing to do.) 'Glens Demise' Glen had a friend at the Orange County Corrections Facility. They all knew each other well in this part of town. He had gone to the bars with these men, and women, his brother was one of them. Glen had a way in; he felt he should use it. He felt he could make a difference. "Come on Rorry just let me see her for a minute or two. You know I wont do anything rash," Glen begged his brother just off to the side of the cell block. "Why?" Rorry simply asked. "I have to ask her not to do this," Glen said looking down at the floor. "I have to let her know it won't work. I have to make her see that it's wrong. If she does this it will ruin everything," Glen said looking up at his brother with pleading eyes. "Okay, I don't think it will help but okay," Rorry said pulling of a set of key from his side clasp. "Thank you," Glen said. "I'm doing this because I know you," Rorry said. "I trust you," Rorry chuckled to himself before he continued. "And I would do anything for you to have love," Rorry said knowing this would get him talking. "Love," Glen asked. "Love, you never act like this unless you truly feeling something in the situation. You never do anything without true feelings getting in the way. You love him, you will love him," Rorry said unlocking the big door and pointing down the long hallway. "Cell 138," was all he said as he let him walk in alone. Glen walked down the hallway for what seemed like forever. It had taken him longer to get to this point than it had taken to get to the precinct itself. Manerva sat in her cell with her cellmate sleeping above her. Her bunk was quiet but she was awake. Glen could see her glaring at him. He could feel her cold stare as he leaned against the bar. "Good evening Glen, I was wondering when you would show up," Manerva said as she threw her legs over the side of the lower bunk and leaned forwards. "I was wondering if I should after everything that has happened," Glen said taking in a deep breath. "I'm glad you did. This place is like a prison cell without a friendly face to make me forget it," Manerva said looking right at him. "Manerva this is a cell," Glen said running his hands across the steel bars. "Don't get silly with me boy!" Manerva shouted arousing her cellmate slightly. "I didn't come here to argue," Glen said. "Then why are you here," Manerva asked leaving him to his just deserts. "I came to ask you not to hurt Howie and Kevin," Glen said plainly. "I figured as much," Manerva said lying back down. "You figured as much," Glen asked in astonishment. "You tried to kill us all!" Glen shouted. "Prove it!" Manerva shouted laughing at the top of her lungs. "You admitted it," Glen said as he watched the figure in the upper bunk shift and stare at him now. "You tried to kill the Backstreet Boy's. You tried to kill me. You tried to kill Michael and Fatima," Glen shouted the figure from above looked at him in disbelief. "The Backstreet Boy's are nothing to me. You however tried to ruin my career," Manerva said with no hesitations. "You ruined it when you tried to sabotage their video," Glen said calmly now as the figure above sat up in her bunk. "No I ruined it when I went after their two boyfriends," Manerva laughed. "Their boyfriend! That's another thing! You tried to ruin their careers to get at us. Blackmail is far lower than we would have expected you to go," Glen said stepping back from the bars as Manerva hiked herself out of the bunk. "I never blackmailed them you did according to Miliken," Manerva stated. "How would you know unless you planned it. It only happened today and you would have never heard it from in here," Glen said knowingly. "My son loves them," the darkened figure said from the top bunk. "Your son is a snot nosed brat from everything you say. It's a wonder he not in here with you," Manerva shot back at her. "Ryan is a good boy. His father is the ass for beating us and making me mad!" She shouted back at Manerva. "Yeah you showed him and your faggot loving boy," Manerva shouted pushing her over the edge. A woman in her mid too late thirty's is somewhat protective over her son when he is all she has to love. His father had beaten him. His father had beaten her. The one thing you never do is piss off Momma she is already in trouble for punishing that man. "Faggot loving I'll show you faggot loving," She shouted as she slammed Manerva's head into the bars. Glen ran for the door at the end of the hallway. There was no one there and he was silent as he could be, He could hear it all as the woman began beating Manerva against the cell walls. "Take it back!" She shouted, as Manerva's body continued being slammed echoed down the corridor. Soon enough Rorry was running for the door that met up with Glen. He was worried you could see it all over his face. Glen stepped aside as his brother continued to run past him. He didn't even look at him as he passed him by in a full speed sprint. Glen headed home; he wanted to talk to someone. He wanted to clear the air with everyone. Glen made it home in record time. He had cleared his head out completely putting the incident away. He only wanted to forget. 'Never remember, never remember, never forget' He apartment was silent as he had left it. It was lonely without Michael there. When they were together, he never wanted him here really. But he was the one that everyone thought was perfect for him at the time. He had to call his mother. He had to tell her it was time for him to live. It was time for him to love. "Mom," Glen questioned. "Yes, baby it's me. Are you alright?" Maurine asked knowing her son well enough to tell that he was upset. "Yes mom, I just had to talk to you about something," Glen said. "Well, I'm here Glen," Maurine said setting back in her recliner. "Mom, for the first time in my life I feel like," Glen was cut off. "Your in love, I can hear it in your voice," Maurine said giggling into the phone. Glen blushed but he continued. "I just wanted you to know that he is the one. I know it and I just well I," Glen said. "Have you told him this because telling you mother is doing you no good. You have to tell him," Maurine said still giggling and finishing. "Bring him by the house this weekend for lunch. If it's real I will know," Marine said. "Talk about getting to the point mom," Glen said laughing. "Well, get off this phone and call him," Maurine said laughing again. "I am mom I love you," Glen said and hung up the phone. Immediately he called Howie to finally tell him the truth about himself and about how he felt. He never knew he would not get the complete chance. 'And so it begot the truth to late' "Goodbye Howie," Glen said in his last breath. "Is he?" Rorry asked one of the Paramedics that leaned close by. "I'm afraid he." he started to answer while reaching out and hanging up the phone. "No!" Rorry shouted at the top his lungs. "Mary told you all it was her who did it!" Rorry shouted thinking back to the blood-drenched cell and the mother that had killed for her child's heroes. "We had to come here you know that!" Sargent Lorenz replied taking out a note pad from her back pocket. "We didn't have to take this action. All you had to do was let me talk to him!" Rorry shouted back. "We were doing our job. He should have never pulled the gun," Lorenz said calmly. "What gun, take a look at him! Does your stupid ass see a gun!" Rorry shouted louder drawing the officer who had shot Glens attention as he came back inside. "He was clutching it at his side," Smitty said as he pointed to his own side. "He hates guns. He got shot in the foot with a BB gun as child and ever since he hates them. Why the hell do you think I always take mine off before he come out with all of us. He's my brother!" Rorry shouted tears streaming down his face. "He may be your brother but he was still a suspect!" Smitty shouted "Well you all tackled him look at his side!" Rorry shouted crying tears of pain for the first time since he had lost his father. "Oh, God No! What have I done," Smitty said crouching down as he saw the gash with part of the glass still sticking out of the fresh wound. Ten inches cut alone his side where the glass still lay freshly in the wound. The fall underneath the tackling officers sent it deep within. The blood was mostly from the cut to the flesh not from the shot that had hit him in the arm. The death was not his fault really. It was with his help however. Smitty cried as he watched the boy he had known most of his adult life. The two had become friend when Rorry had joined the force. His brotherly love was all that he had grown accustomed too. It was all a mistake now. There were no take backs however and this life he knew so well was now gone. Kevin's House. I lay sleeping in Kevin's arms as his chest rose and fell with each breath of his beautiful life. I was content and deep with my own dreams when a blazing razor cut through my thoughts of joy. Everything went from the beach I was dreaming of to thought of blackness. Here I lay with my love so true and inside I was being attacked by the darkness that surrounded me. 'Michael?' A voice in the darkness asked. 'Yes' I hesitantly answered. 'Love him like you would love no other' it replied. 'I do' I answered. 'He will needs you, they will all need you' it answered as the blackness suddenly became light. Before me, standing on a green hill surrounded by white crane like birds stood Glen. He was smiling, as his father stood close by. The sky glowed in a blue hue that shown down upon us as I watched the two standing waiting for me to approach. I began to walk to them but found it pointless as I immediately crossed the small lake that turned to screaming people. I could see them all cheering as I crossed it was like floating over a crowd. They were shouting to me shouting out something I could not understand. I reached the other side and turned the crowd to turn to the sea again and the cranes flew away. I turned and stood confused facing the two. 'I have very little time and the time I do have I must use wisely' Glenn said. 'What do you mean you have very little time?' I asked. 'Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies. Just listen now please.' Glen said as his father nodded his head. 'He is in pain. He needs the support. Kevin loves you and it is real. Stand by him as he offers the support needed. In the end, you will still be the one he turns to. In the end, you will still be the one in his arms. It may never happen that you worry. You may also be there. The future is uncertain. Try to love one another true. Try to be there for each other and everyone else. It is needed. Make it work, make it real, and never darken the clouds that you fly so high on,' Glen paused as he stepped towards me and I was engulfed in his arms. 'There was a time when I wanted you to love me. There was a time when I wished you had never loved me. I have paid my debts and made things right. You will see soon and you will understand' Glen said as he began to disappear and the light faded. I began to feel as if falling a great fall. The crowd surrounded me and washed away around me. I was falling through them. There was nothing breaking my fall. The water had never been water. When I fell, the cranes and gazebo never stood in this darkness that surrounded me. It was nothingness it was my world gone gray. It was all gone, as I shook awake. I awoke shaking the bed and starling myself as I was now breathing hard. I heard the crowd scream out one last time, this time I understood 'death!' "Michael are you all right," Kevin asked stroking my back. I was waking up from the dream I shook myself again to make sure it was not real. I nodded my head yes, as I tried to wake up. "Yeah, baby," I groggily answered. "Do me a favor honey?" I asked. "Anything," he answered still trying to wake up himself after being in fear for me. "Anything right?" I asked hoping he meant it. "Yes baby, anything," Kevin answered seriously, as he was no completely awake. "Call Howie and make sure he's alright," I asked rolling back over. "Baby it's two thirty in the morning. They're not going to be up," Kevin said and I just gave him my best puppy dog look. "Okay I'll call him," Kevin said giving into my pout. Kevin dialed the number by hand shaking away the sleep that still pursued him in this late hour of the night. "Hello. Hello!" Kevin shouted into the phone. "AJ is that you?" Kevin shouted into the phone. I was beginning to worry about him as he sat straight up in bed with a panicked look on his face. "What? When? No I'm sorry take your time," Kevin sat with tears streaming down his face. I immediately jumped out of bed and started to the dresser to locate clothes. I had to get dressed I knew this was bad. My dream was real and he was there with his father it was all making sense now. "He's dead," I said thinking I said it in my head. Kevin dropped the phone and gathered me into his arms as he raced across the room. He had no idea what I was thinking or what I was feeling. I felt my whole world coming apart as I knew this somehow was my fault. This was all our faults as we had been put together for this to happen. We had been put together because I wanted this video. I wanted this man. If I had of given up in the first place and just relinquished control over this none of us would be here where we were right now standing with everything out of sort and hearts broken or breaking. Glen was dead and it was my fault. It was my dream it was my world. "Kevin! Kevin what's happening there?" AJ shouted into the phone before hanging it up. "Howie where are you?" AJ asked turning around and noticing Howie was no longer in the room. He had taken his leave to the bathroom where he was destroying something else. "Howie open this door!" AJ shouted, as the phone began to ring he ignored it at that moment he had other things to contend with. 'Rebirth and Truth' "Well you all tackled him look at his side!" Rorry shouted crying tears of pain for the first time since he had lost his father. "Oh, God No! What have I done," Smitty said crouching down on all for as he saw the gash. Ten inches cut alone his side where the glass still lay freshly in the wound. The fall underneath the tackling officers sent it deep within. The blood was mostly from the cut to the flesh not from the shot that had hit him in the arm. "Calm the fuck down," The paramedic shouted as Rorry lost control. "You didn't let me finish checking him out!" He shouted stopping both men in their tracks. "What do you mean?" Rorry stood motionless as the words sunk in. "He is in bad shape, but I never said he was gone. We need to get him out of here. I can tell he has lost a lot of blood but he is alive. This is a critical situation!" He shouted motioning the other paramedics to join him and bring the equipment in. "I need to call him back," Rorry said reaching over to the phone. "Who?" Smitty asked watching as Rorry picked up the phone and hit the redial button. "It's a machine," Rorry said as he heard Howie voice greet the call. "Machine," Smitty asked. "Yes, now be quiet this is the one who will save him. This is the truth he needs," Rorry said crying as he began to speak into the phone. "You don't know me, but you will. I need you to come to Orlando General as soon as you get this. I will wait until you are there. Please he will die without you if you don't. I know what this sounds like. I know this sound unbelievable but he is still alive. You have to believe me." Rorry stopped as he heard the phone finally pick up. "You sure this isn't a joke," AJ asked into the phone. AJ didn't know it but the sound of the machines wavering tinny voice had reached Howie's ears as he stood ready to take his own life. He stopped as he heard Rorry; he knew he should, and now he stood behind AJ listening as his world calmed. 'Father speak the words' No more nightmares, no more harsh thoughts. All you will have are the thoughts that life is good when you need it and the truth is not always something we are willing to feel You are a beautiful person who underestimates himself and you have a lot to offer someone. You are worth it you must believe that love is not just some tangible thing we all wish for. It's our emotions and in all thing there is love Whether it is a labor of love or the bliss of the moment it is love and it means the world in a greater value than any of us yet realizes. Because it is priceless, just like the ones who are capable of it at its truest state of being. So, feel the love that exists in each of you. Make it grow and cherish the gifts you receive from it. You are capable to see it just open your heart and your mind. Good night sleep well and may his wings of the love carry you home as you heal and appreciate the man who now loves you. Kevin House.. Kevin dropped the phone and gathered me into his arms as he raced across the room. He had no idea what I was thinking or what I was feeling. I felt my whole world coming apart as I knew this somehow was my fault. This was all our faults as we had been put together for this to happen. We had been put together because I wanted this video. I wanted this man. If I had of given up in the first place and just relinquished control over this none of us would be here where we were right now standing with everything out of sort and hearts broken or breaking. Glen was dead and it was my fault. It was my dream it was my world. "It's my fault," I said into his shoulder. "No, baby it's not," Kevin said holding me closer. "I just wish I could tell him I'm sorry. I just wish none of this had happened, if we had never met." I said trying to pull away. "You can't mean that," Kevin said pulling me to him as I fought. "Let me go, I am going to hurt you too," I shouted crying as I collapsed back onto him. Still he did not let me go. "We support one another with just words so often. Now I am not letting you go. This is finally a action you are my heart, you are my soul, you are my love," Kevin said pulling me closer. "If he lives I forgive him for everything. He needs that," I said burying my head in his chest. "You need it too," Kevin said as the phone began to ring. "Get it" I said hoping praying it was all a nightmare. "Kevin!" AJ shouted into the phone, "Orlando General now!" AJ said hanging up, as Kevin was about to ask questions. No time too soon until Kevin and I were headed out and on our way to the hospital. We certainly would be remembered and this certainly would get out. I was suddenly scared would this be best. Would we go and jeopardize everything. 'Glen's second chance' Treasures in jars of clay. Let the light shine out of darkness. Fallen down but not destroyed. It's just another trial by fire. In my song, I'll send a prayer. Do you know me do you hear me? Where's the will to face this shame? It's just another trial by fire. Hello Mr. Moon. Can I have some time with you? Trouble keeps me running. You can see it coming. I know who shines down on you. Hello Mr. Moon. I've come back to talk to you. All my life I'm running. >From the love that's coming. Saving grace please pull me through? In my doubt, I can't believe. Like a wave tossed where the wind blows. Tears of faith temper my soul. Just another trial by fire. Just another trial by fire. I opened my eyes with a small flutter. I felt the distance of cold plastic as it hugged my face. I was sure I was dead. But where was I now. What had become of me? Why was I lying down. I could feel the effect of a haze as it washed the light from my eyes and the feeling from my body. Was I dead I did not know? I did not feel the death or the light that should be. I did not see god. I did not see the light so many have seen before me. I was cold so cold. I began to drift back to sleep as I heard the shrill pitch of a scream. I rattled and cried all the same as I felt my world shake me into a slumber. "Get him to the ER there is no time to waist!" A woman shouts stirring my darkened dream. Everything is black I feel the cold draft as I am moved. I am not dead! AJ & Howie. "Come on Howie this way!" AJ shouts as they run through the side entrance to the Hospital. "What if he doesn't make it?" Howie asks stopping in the middle of the corridor just 25 feet from the internal emergency room entrance. "He will," Kevin says as he steps through the doors seeing the two friends stopped and out of breath. "How do you know," Howie asked. "I don't but I feel it," Kevin said as Michael paced back and forth across the entrance way just past him. 12 hours latter. Every head was bowed and the waiting room was silent. No one had spoken for quite some time. Michael was still asleep. He had taken it hard far harder than anyone would have thought. After all Glen had put him through Kevin would have thought he would have been a little less effected. But, then again, it was Glen that had brought them together. Michael's head shifted on Kevin's shoulder and lifts its weight as the two look at one another in silence. Michael leans in and kisses Kevin to show him he is okay. "Thank you," I whisper. "For what hun," Kevin asks. "For being the understanding man I know you to be. For loving me, for being the man you are," I replied sitting completely up and stretching. I can't feel my butt. The chair was uncomfortable once again. I had set here earlier thinking just that. Thinking how I wished that none of this were happening and that these freaking chairs were more comfortable. Was it wrong for me to feel this way? No not really I mean think about it, stress makes you do and think crazy things. This was a definitely a lot of stress for all of us. I looked over at Howie to see how he was holding up but he was no where to be seen. "Where's Howie," I asked in a low voice. "He left about a hour ago to check on things. He is holding up well though," Kevin answered me looking over to see my grin knowing he knew me so well. "I will be right back I need to wake my ass up," I said laughing lightly. He smiled at me as he closed his eyes and nodded at me. I walked down the long corridor to the actual waiting room for the emergency room. Again, we had been placed away from the public. It was kind of quiet I could see the sunlight pouring into the windows. Howie was no where to be seen as I continued to walk past the reception desk to which the woman merely pointed down the opposing hallway as if to answer my question. "He's singing to him again," she said smiling at me. I followed the direction she pointed and heard the voice. I heard the sliding doors open behind me at the desk. There was still silence, which told me no one had found out we were here. I heard Keith's voice and he suddenly stopped. I turned and faced him he smiled. I motioned him to follow me and waited as he approached. "Where is everyone else?" He asked. "Asleep except for a song bird,' I answered and we walked towards Howie's voice in silence. Magic.Moments There the things I will remember Where the time we spent together.laughing. Then you walked into my dreams.dear. And I see your face. Young and so free, smiling at me. So long since I've had you near now you've come back again. Where the love never ends and you right here When I think of you, when I need you I just close my eyes and you . here. Right beside me when I'm lost in.shadows. Glen could feel the words he could see the shadow that stood over him. It had been hours since he had opened his eyes or attempted to do so. It was so hard to do it now. The drugs held him down in the dark. It was going to take a fight, but to the voice he wanted to be with it was worth the fight. Of the memories of you, oh my dear and I see your face. Young and so free smiling at me In your eyes, I walk without fear. We're together again. Where the love never ends, 'cause you right here. When I think of you. Howie placed his hand over his own heart as he placed his other on Glens. Hold on.just for a while Hold on. Hold on. I try to forget the night that I left It's all so unreal with you gone. I can dream once again, where the love never ends. When I think of you.. Keith and I backed out of the room right into the doctor who shushed us to remain silent. Howie did not turn to see what the commotion was about. Still he stayed at Glen's side. I was nearly in tears for him. His love had pulled him through. Glen no doubt was going to come back to him. He had to for such a true love. Keith and I were quickly on the move towards the others with the Doctor close behind us. "All of you need to go and sleep. It has been a long night." He said, as we walked quickly into the room where no one had moved since I had left. Kevin looked sweet as he smiled in his dream. It was funny however to look at AJ as he drooled down his chin. "Everyone wake up," I said in a normal voice trying not to surprise them too much. "Good morning gentlemen," the Doctor said waking them all a little more as Keith and I set one on each side of Kevin. Keith reached over to Brian and shook him lightly as he had not moved. Instead of waking up he wrapped himself around Keith tightly to which Keith blushed a crimson red. "Don't worry Keith you're not his type," AJ said laughing waking Brian up. "Gentlemen please. I need my sleep too so this needs to be said so I may get some rest too," the Doctor said. "I am Dr. Philips chief surgeon of this Hospital," he began. "Your friend has suffered greatly from his attack last evening. He should have woken up by now. But with the amount of blood loss and trauma his body has gone through it may take a little more time," he paused as we all let it sink in. Glen was not out of the dark yet. "Mr. Duroughs has had him reacting on the monitors for the last two hours. It is quite remarkable considering we had been trying to get at least a nervous flutter from him all of this time. There was nothing happening. We tried several methods to wake him, but everyone is different in these dramatic moments of life," Dr. Phillips said sitting down across from us. "So, how is he physically," I asked. "He will mend," he paused before continuing. "But our concern is wake up time. He is responding yes. However, he needs to wake up completely for us to know what is next. If any of you can think of anything that would draw him back to us here, it would be greatly appreciated." "So, he is not waking up? Is he not fighting to wake up?" I asked, hoping I had the answer. "Yes, exactly," I heard the words, stood up running out of the room to the nurse's station, and took note of the screaming outside the doors now. In just a few moments, the Hospital had become a fan war zone. I heard footsteps behind me and realized I was being followed. Howie was still sitting at his bedside only now his head was resting on Glen's bed next to him. "Glen wake up you lazy ass!" I shouted at him. He hated to be woken up like this. It caused more fights when we were late to a meeting or work in general. "I have not got time to wait I need to talk to you. To tell you I forgive you, to tell you that I love you still. But, as a brother as a." I was searching for words. "As a confidant a brother. Howie loves you like no one he has ever loved you! You stupid ass fight for the love of God fight!" Kevin wrapped his arms around me as I was losing it. "He's right Glen you need to wake up," Dr. Phillips said walking in with AJ and Brian in tow. "Yes baby, I love you, fight for us please," I heard Howie say and I tried to open my eyes. I felt it happening in my sleepy state of mind. I had been woken up from the moment that Michael started to yell. I slowly opened my eyes. The light broke through my lashes and scorned my eyes for being shut for so long. I felt a pang in my head as I tried to lift my body up. There was no moving right now; it hurt to bad. "He's opening his eyes," Howie whispered almost to low for me to hear as Kevin squeezed me tight. It was working. "Glen come on were all waiting for you; come on buddy," I said talking and dragging Kevin with me. "You better take him home Kevin he is being way too nice to me," Glen whispered through dried lips. I heard a sniffle come from behind us where Brian and AJ stood. As I looked, I noticed AJ had tears streaming down his face. I motioned them to join us as the Dr. went about checking Glen's pulse and vital signs. We were all smiling. Although our tears were evidence of our immediate need for the release of the stress. "Baby I thought I lost you?" Howie said in disbelief as he held Glen's hand tight in his own. "Never now that I have love where would I go?" Glen's said regaining some of his voice. Half an hour later.. "You could do so much for me if you just would. If you just knew, I am I, and you are you. I know it and you don't know it and you could do so much for me if you just would. If you just would then I could tell you and then nobody would have to know it except you and me," Glen mumbled in his sleep as he was wheeled into his own room on the 2nd floor of the hospital Howie and Kevin looked at each other with confusion. "It's a quote from somewhere. I would have to look it up or better yet ask him when he wakes up," I answered as Glen was being plugged into his new monitor and bed. Glen's Dream.. We set on top of a huge cliff looking over the vast space of the ocean below them. We had grown accustomed to this spot. It was here that we first started to tell each other everything about themselves. Up until that day, we had lived single lives that revolved around each other. Fortunately, after the accident and all the trials and tribulation of the first weeks charm we had made it to this spot on the hill. It was here that we would always find common ground and common emotions. But to come here meant that designation needed to be stayed for. "Fighting does us no good Glen either be honest with me about why you won't go or just break us up. I know you don't want to break up but you obviously don't want to commit. Hell, I thought this was it you and me forever. But I guess I was wrong," Howie said as he stood pulling away from Glen. "Howie I never want to hurt you. By me going with you on this short tour it could possibly hurt you," Glen said looking up at the man who stood motionless and stared out at the ocean. "You could do so much for me if you just would. If you just knew, I am I, and you are you. I know it and you don't know it and you could do so much for me if you just would. If you just would then I could tell you and then nobody would have to know it except you and me," Howie said looking down at him as the dream fades and the oceans roar screams at Glen to wake up. Room 242.. "Kevin we need to go sleep. As much as we all want to stay we can't it would be absurd to think the press won't get suspicious of all of this," I said leaning against his arm as we stood on the opposite side of Glen's bed. "Hello," a man in his early thirties said walking up to the doorway. "Can I help you," I asked letting my posture show my annoyance. "Yes, is this Glen's room," Rorry said standing in uniform still as he ushered a very quiet man into the room. "We um. well I'm Rorry, and this is Smitty," Rorry said looking down at the white tiles of the floor. "Rorry as in Glen's brother," Howie immediately turned around facing the door as he heard the names. If I was right, he had heard these voices before. "You! You did this to him!" Howie said standing up and charging towards the two of them only to be stopped by Glen gripping his hand and stopping him dead in his tracks. "Howie," Glen whispered as the room fell silent. Kevin and I looked at the bed in astonishment, as he had not moved the entire time he had been in the room. "Yes baby," I was now worried if they continued like this in front of total strangers there was no hiding their relationship. "Rorry," Glen whispered causing my curiosity to take over as I flipped though all the names of people, I knew. Then it hit me. "Howie this is my brother Rorry," Glen said causing Howie so stop fighting and calm down immediately. "The other man Smitty is his co-worker I think," Glen said sitting up slightly as the bed rose from his free hand hitting the controls to do so. "Yes, yes he is Glen," Rorry said smiling at him realizing he was all right and all things were going to be okay. "Smitty stop worrying I'm alive. Thank god you're a bad shot," Glen said smiling and Howie tensed up again. "Glen we are going to head home and take Brian with us, he's still asleep in the waiting room with Keith," I said squeezing Kevin's hand. "Take Keith too, please. I don't need him hovering worrying about my safety too," Glen said smiling at Kevin. "If Howie is here it would be best if he is too," Kevin said as both Keith and Brian entered the room. "Kevin I have to go Miliken has disappeared," Keith said with an excited expression on his face. "Kevin I'll be okay, I'm not leaving him anyhow," Howie said smiling at Glen as he took a seat on the bed next to Glen. "Are you sure baby I'm just going to be sleeping a lot," Glen said yawning. "Yes, we are not going to be apart from here on out. Even if I have to stay here for the rest of my life. You and I are a couple and I want to be with you," Howie said ignoring the rest of us as Rorry cleared his voice to interrupt. "Yes, Rorry?" Glen asked not looking up. "If I may Kevin, Howie will be fine I will be here most of the day myself," Rorry said and we reluctantly agreed to his staying alone. We slept peacefully in the middle of the day. It was to say the least nice. Knowing I would have him all day and all night to myself was a great joy. However, the circumstances had drained both of us and it was not the happiest of sleep as we both kept our thoughts placed on what could have happened. "Mike you awake?" Kevin asked me in a whispered voice about as hour after we had been lying there. "Yes, Kevin," I said realizing how formal and yet informal we sounded. No baby, no honey, no pet names here. We were just Mike and Kevin two men who loved one another in a moment in bed. "Baby, promise me you won't ever get hurt like that," Kevin said breaking our formal yet informal world. "I wish I could promise I won't ever get hurt. I will promise you one thing though I will try never to get hurt. Life has its ways Kevin and you know that," Kevin stopped me from speaking as he placed his hand on my back. "I know you can't control the future baby. But, I guess I just don't know what I would do if I lost you now that I have you, and I just never want to think it could happen," Kevin said hugging me from behind. "Then don't think about it babe. You can think of this for me though. I promise to love you as long as I live," I said rolling over to face him. As I looked into his eyes, he had a far away look in them that sent my mind reeling. He immediately snapped out of it as he realized I could see the look on his face. "I just can't figure out how Howie is being so strong. You don't know him like we all know him and this is not like him. He is so soft and caring and just . Howie Sweet D," Kevin said looking me in the eyes for reassurances that I understood. "I know Kevin I can see it when he looks at Glen. It is different from the way he acted before when I first met him. I don't know how to explain it but it is," I said looking at him one last time before rolling over to go to sleep. "I love you Michael," Kevin whispered and I whispered back and before we knew it, it was morning again. (To Be Continued) If you all have any questions please feel free to ask. Hopefully this will answer some of them for you. 1.) I had to do a lot of soul searching for myself recently so I took some time off from the story. 2.) Yes it is true that I have considered ending the series. 3.) No I am not mad as some of you think at the fact that there has been no mail for the last two installments. (The truth is I have actually received mail from the posting of this story on my own website as well as others. I just needed a break.) 4.) No you can not have the URL for the website at this time. It is being rebuilt again to accommodate other authors with space. 5.) Yes everyone is welcome to write me and if you ask around you will find out I do answer mail to everyone. Thanks, Grayson S. Vellar