Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2000 17:41:33 CST
From: Phantom Writer <phantomwriter73@hotmail.com>
Subject: Dream-of-a-Guardian-Angel-3

"Dream of a Guardian Angel: After the Dream"
By: Phantom Writer

Legal Stuff: This material is not meant to be read by anyone under 18.  If
you're offended by literature with homosexual themes, step off!  If not,
read on.  This is a work of fiction.  Therefore, the author makes no claims
as to the sexual orientation of any member of *N Sync.  I have permission to
incorporate facts from the life of my friend and neighbor in the form of the
main character, Jase.

Side Note: As always, for anyone who would like to send comments or
suggestions, please do so. (phantomwriter73@hotmail.com)

Special Thanks: Thank you to everyone who sent such positive feedback to
"Dream of a Guardian Angel."  I'm speechless with gratitude.

Now, without further ado...

(Previously...from "Dream of a Guardian Angel: After the Dream")

I decided to walk up to the gate attendant and ask for the new departure
time.  She took the ticket from my hand and wrote the corrected departure
time down in blue ink and handed it back to me.  'BITCH, it was a simple
question.'  I smiled my best kiss-my-ass smile and decided it might be a
good time to take a trip to restroom.  As I returned to my seat to get my
duffel bag, I noticed a group of guys walking with their heads down,
sunglasses on, and a variety of hats covering their heads.  I thought to
myself, 'Now I know the reason for the delay in the first leg of the
flight.'  I figured they were celebrities of some form or fashion, but since
I wasn't a big OH-MY-GOD-YOU'RE-LIKE-FAMOUS person, I simply grabbed my bag
and proceeded to the restroom.

And now, "Dreams Take Flight."

In my half-witted state, I walked right past this enormous guy dressed in
black standing next to the entrance to the MEN'S ROOM.  His head was turned
away from me.  I opened the door, put my bag down and made my way to a
urinal.  As I was taking care of business, I heard a voice come from one of
the stalls.

"Tony, is that you?  I asked you to wait for me outside. I'm a BIG BOY you
know, so don't make me jump on your ass right here in the john!"

I ignored the voice and zipped up.  I moved over to the sink and began to
wash my face and hands.  I damn near scared myself shitless when I saw my
face in the mirror.  The past couple days of drinking and sleeping late had
me looking like hell.

"Hey Tony, don't make me come after you this late in the day!"

"Sorry to tell you this, but I'm not Tony.  And if you're looking for a
quickie in the john, I'm sorry, but I have a headache BIG BOY."  I put my
usual smart-ass attitude behind my last statement and chuckled to myself and
then continued to rinse the soap off my face.  I heard the stall open and
then I got a real shock.

"Who the FUCK are you, ASSHOLE!!!"

I leaned up from the sink and turned just in time to see the fist heading
for my face.  Luckily, I spun my head away from the direction of the punch
and only got a glancing blow just to the corner of my mouth.  Granted, my
lip had a pretty bad cut where my teeth and lip met in a not-so-welcomed
manner.  I could taste blood as I slowly turned my head back to look at my
assailant.  I was pissed and seeing nothing but red.  And I'll be damned if
this young man wasn't cocking his arm back to take another swing at me.

My senses came back to me and I swung my arm toward his approaching fist,
grabbing it in midair with my hand.  As I was swinging to catch my
attacker's oncoming fist, I heard the shuffle of feet enter the restroom.
My attacker's punch was brought to a dead stop and I threw his hand down to
his side.  I felt confident that this young man would not try punching me
again from the shocked look he had on his face.  'I know this person' was
all I could think as I turned to the sink to spit out the blood that had
gathered in my mouth.  With my mouth free of blood, I went OFF!

"What the FUCK!  Are you the damn Potty Patrol or what!"

I was staring directly into my attacker's eyes.  I could no longer see the
anger and fear I had seen earlier.  Now all I saw was regret.  I heard a
gasp come from the area I had heard the shuffling feet moments ago and
turned my head in that direction.  I was in shock.  I looked back to my
attacker and then back to a huge dude dressed in black and four other guys.

"Well I'll be the north-end-of-a-south-bound-ass."  I couldn't believe I was
standing in a public restroom at DFW with none other than *N Sync.  I also
couldn't believe Justin had just gone off on me like some damn Oscar De la
Hoya wannabe!

"I guess you recognize us then."  Justin said with a little bit of a 'I hope
he isn't gonna tell' tone to his voice.

"Sure, aren't you the Backstreet Boys?"  I couldn't help myself.  My
infamous smart-ass attitude got the best of me.  And if I had only brought a
camera, the picture of all their faces would have been priceless.  The only
person of the  *N Sync entourage without eyes wide and mouth open was the
big dude, a bodyguard I assumed.

"Excuse me!"  All five said in unison.

"SCORE!  Jason, 1.  *N Sync, zip!"  While saying these words, I began to
develop a serious case of the giggles.  It was just too preposterous.

"Hey Curly, you O.K?  Do you want us to call security or somethin'?"  JC had
a concerned look on his face, but his eyes were showing something more than
concern.  I wasn't quite sure what, but it was definitely more than concern.

"IS HE OK?  I'M THE ONE BLEEDING HERE!"  I wasn't too impressed with the
lack of concern for my well being.

"What?" JC hadn't even noticed the slight trickle of blood coming form the
corner of my mouth.

"Sure, call security if you want.  But I don't think you're gonna get the
results you're wishing for.  Besides, I have a flight to catch and I don't
have time for all the paperwork and bull shit required to press charges."
Of course I wasn't serious and wouldn't press charges, but I didn't want '*N
Sync' to think I would roll over because of their fame.  I moved toward my
duffel bag when the bodyguard started to move toward me.

"NO!  Back off Tony.  It WAS my fault.  He didn't do anything but block my
second punch."  Justin came toward me with such a sad face.  I did notice
that he was holding his shoulder.  Obviously, he had strained something when
I brought his punch to such a sudden stop.

"What exactly happened here?"  Lance sounded rather pensive, obviously
uneasy with the whole ordeal.

"Well let me break it down for you this way.  First, this isn't Justin's
fault.  If numb nuts over there had been doing his job instead of looking at
some stank-ass 'ho' struttin' her shit down the corridor, I would have never
been allowed in here.  Second, Lance, it was Stable Mable over there who
opened a can of whoop-ass on me without saying more than 'Who the FUCK are
you, ASSHOLE.'  And last but not least, what happened in here is really
between Justin and me, so all y'all can just STEP!"  I winked at Justin
letting him know I was cool and was simply providing a little 'High Drama'
entertainment to break the tension.

"Who the hell are you?  And where are you from?  I haven't understood half
the things you've said since I stepped in here."  Joey was puzzled.

"Guess you left the red hair dye on a little too long, huh?"  I couldn't
help but throw out that remark.  He left himself wide open.

"Ha! Good one!" Chris started laughing to himself.

"No, seriously, my name's Jason, but my friends call me Jase. (I began to
choke up, but continued without much of a delay.)  I'm a corporate executive
here in Dallas, but I'm originally from out in West Texas.  Hence the
frequent use of clichés and, how should I put it, colorful adjectives.  Now,
if you don't mind, I would really like to leave this restroom without some
fuckin' media dill-hole taking a picture of me emerging from a public john
with all five members of *N Sync and TONY over there.  Last thing I want to
see is 'The Dallas Morning News' with the headline 'Local Corporate
Executive Accosted by World Famous Boy-Band.'  I didn't even wait for a
response.  I grabbed my bag and was out the door.  Luckily, the corridor was
empty and I walked back to the same seat I had earlier without incident.  I
closed my eyes and thought back to my dream from Monday morning.  'Was my
dream be coming true?'

**Back in the restroom*************

Little did I know, the members of *N Sync had seen my plane ticket drop out
of the side pocket of my duffel bag and onto the restroom floor.  Lance
quickly grabbed it and turned to the others.

"Hey, I think we may need to do a little damage control here.  I'm not sure
Jason is as cool with this incident as he appeared.  The last thing we need
right now is bad publicity."  Lance spoke authoritatively.

"What can we do?"  JC asked while still looking at Justin with concern.

"Well, Jason's ticket is, let me see here...coach, so maybe we could bump
him to First Class?  I have tons of Frequent Flyer Miles that it wouldn't
cost anything."  Lance fumbled with the ticket not noticing Justin's tears
falling down his face.

"Guys, I'm really sorry about this!  I think the bump up is the least we
could do.  And I want to be the ONE to give him the ticket.  Hey, where's he
going anyway?"  Justin spoke quietly through his tears.

"Orlando?  He's on our flight!  And Justin, if you're so damn keen on being
the ONE to deliver the ticket, we can use your Frequent Flyer Miles!"  Lance
grinned while saying this.

"Well let's hit it.  We need to change the ticket and find Jason before the
flight leaves and / or we are recognized!"  JC took charge and quickly moved
to the restroom door to see if the coast was clear.

**Back in the terminal*************

Around ten minutes later, I opened my eyes and began to pull myself
together.  'Holy shit!  Where in the Sam Hill did I put my plane ticket?
Let me think.  That bitch at the gate took my ticket and wrote the new
departure time one it, then I went to the restroom.  Shit, I bet it dropped
out of the side pocket of my duffel bag.'  I was just about to get up when I
saw the reflection of Justin, JC, Lance, Chris and Joey coming up behind me
in the window.  The sun had gone down and with the darkness outside, the
window acted like a mirror.  I also noticed Justin had what appeared to be
my ticket in his hand.  Just as I saw Justin's mouth begin to move, I gave
them a good shock.

"Come to finish me off, Captain Whoop-Ass?"  I grinned but didn't turn my
head toward the guys.

"Sweet Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.  How did you know I was comin'
anyway?"  Justin had jumped about a foot off the ground causing Lance, JC,
Joey and Chris to giggle out loud.

"I have my ways, and don't you forget that!"  I couldn't help but laugh out
loud.  I turned around and let them all see I was joking.

"Really?"  Chris had a very dopey look on his face.

"So, did you come over here to make good on the offer you made me in the
restroom, Justin?"

"WHAT!" JC, Lance, Chris, and Joey spoke as one and stared at Justin.  I
damn near fell in the floor when I saw Justin standing there, trying to
speak.  His mouth moved, but no words came out.  I decided to keep the joke
going.

"Remember, you said 'I'm a BIG BOY you know, so don't make me jump on your
ass right here in the john!' and '...don't make me come after you this late
in the day!'  Those were your exact words, were they not?"  Everyone but
Justin got the sexual innuendo I implied by taking his words out of context.

"Huh?" Justin was finally able to get at least some form of sound to leave
his mouth.

"Guess I don't have to ask you to drop your pants to know you're a true
blonde!"  I fell out laughing, as did the others, once they figured out what
I meant.

"Damn, are you always this goofy, no offense intended?"  Joey looked
flabbergasted.

"None taken, but no.  I can be a real fuddy-duddy when the mood hits me."
Everyone laughed at my matter-of-fact statement.

"I find that hard to believe!  It doesn't seem that there is much more to
you than jokes and smart-ass remarks."  Lance was visibly shaken when he
thought about how rude his comment had sounded.  I just looked away.

"If it's all the same to you, can I please have my ticket so I can go."

"I...that's...well..." I turned to see Lance with tears flowing down his
face and his head facing the ground.  That's when I realized he was just
trying to say he didn't think I could be a fuddy-duddy.  I decided to
rectify the miscommunication.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  I did
my best childlike impression, which sucked, but I made my point clear.
Lance looked into my eyes and could see I wasn't mad, but just a little
shocked.

"I'm...I'm REALLY sorry.  That's not what I meant to say.  I just..."

"No, no, no.  It was my fault.  I should have realized that you weren't
articulate enough to say 'fuddy-duddy,' being as you're from Mississippi and
all."  I poured on the West Texas drawl.  I put my hand on Lance's shoulder
and gave him a little squeeze.  Lance was the last to laugh, but he finally
realized I was just pullin' his leg.

"Jase, I wanted to give you your ticket back.  We found it in the restroom
after you left."  Justin had finally recovered from my 'make good on your
offer' joke and held the ticket out to me.

"You know, I said my FRIENDS call me Jase.  I don't think you can call me
Jase until my lip at least stops bleeding.  Then I'll let you know."  I
think I went a little too far this time.  Justin just looked at me with a
blank stare as the tears slowly welled up in his eyes.  'Damn, Jason.  You
just don't know when to stop.'  I slowly moved forward and just hugged
Justin with all my might.  At first he was stiff as a board, but soon
relaxed.

"Maybe we should just go."  JC looked at me with daggers shooting from his
eyes at me.  'What's up with that?' I thought to myself as I released Justin
from my hug.  The guys started to move away.

"Don't leave because of me.  I've just had a really shitty past couple of
weeks and the sarcasm and humor are just a defense mechanism.  I'm just a
little defensive since I don't really open up to people I just meet unless I
connect with them, you know what I mean?"  I sounded like a real twit having
just said this to complete strangers.  So what if these guys were world
famous, I really didn't know them from Adam.

"Well, OK.  It's not like we can really go anywhere until we board the plane
anyway."  Chris turned around and sat down beside me facing the window.  The
others soon filed in until the entire row of seats were filled.  Silence
fell for several moments as we all just stared out of the window.

I was rather glad I had decided on a Wednesday evening flight.  While there
were still people moving about the terminal, no one had recognized the guys
while we had been shooting the breeze.  I couldn't have handled a big to-do
with screaming fans and all that shit.  I decided to look at what seat I was
assigned to when I noticed something very odd about my ticket.

"Uh, Justin.  Is this the ticket you said you found on the restroom floor?"

"Busted!"  Joey grinned.

"Do y'all think you have to bump me up to first class as a pay me off to
keep quite about Justin's 'I'm gonna kick your ass' to-do?"  I was hurt.  I
guess my smart-ass comments about pressing charges had made a larger impact
than I had imagined possible.

"No!  That's not what we meant.  We just wanted to say 'Sorry' for putting
you through so much tonight, you know, busted lip and all."  Justin had a
concerned look on his face.  I felt I had to come clean with the guys.

"Please, forgive me.  I was really kidding about pressing charges.  I was
just blowing smoke up your ass.  Y'all don't deserve all the jokes and jibes
I've thrown your way.  I was just being me.  I've never been one of those
who snapped to attention around VIP's.  I figure if people can't like me for
who I am, then they can get over it."  My mind began to race at what I had
just said.  My family never had a chance to get over not liking me for who I
am.  Tears began to fill my eyes.

**Now boarding Flight 220 for Orlando by way of Atlanta.  First Class
passengers, please step forward at this time.  Thank you!**

Everyone got up but me.  I was on the verge of loosing it until Chris
grabbed my shoulder and pulled me along with the rest of the gang.  I took
several deep breaths trying to get my tears to go away before they fell.  It
worked for the time being, but I couldn't wait to get seated and turn out
the lights.  I couldn't let JC, Chris, Joey, Lance or Justin see that I was
in so much pain.

I found my seat and put my duffel bag in the overhead compartment and
quickly took my seat.  Only seven other passengers beside the guys and Tony
boarded the plane and made their way back to coach.  I was relieved when no
one sat in the seat beside me.  I buckled my seat belt, turned out the
overhead light and peered out of the window.  I couldn't stop thinking about
what I had said minutes ago. 'I figure if people can't like me for who I am,
then they can get over it.'  If I really felt this way, why was I so upset?
That's a dumb question.  I had always been very close to my family.  We
always celebrated every birthday and every holiday imaginable, hell we had a
family gathering for Ground Hog's Day.  All the togetherness had ended by me
telling the truth about being gay.  Now, the only person who accepted me in
their life, and knew I was gay, was Leslie.  But she was far from what I
needed.  I needed a guardian angel to look over me and keep me from becoming
a bitter, introverted bastard who blamed his problems on the world.

The plane had started its assent into the sky before I knew what happened.
I must have been in my own world, obviously.  I looked around and noticed
that everyone had settled down and appeared to be dozing off to sleep, even
that bruiser Tony.  In a way, I was hoping that one of the guys would have
wanted to sit by me.  (What I didn't know was Justin had come over and asked
if he could take the seat beside me, but I never even acknowledged his
presence.)  I closed my eyes, pulled my knees to my chest and began to rock
myself slowly.  Sleep came soon after........ I was somewhere dark, my eyes
could not focus on anything around me, and then I heard the sound of metal
twisting and the screams of my family.  Suddenly, there was silence.  I
yelled. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

"Wake up, Jase.  You're having a bad dream."  Justin was sitting in the seat
next to me.  All I could do was grab his arm and cry on his shoulder.
Justin hugged me tightly.  I couldn't let him go.  I needed someone to hold
me, to tell me it was OK, someone who would just be there with no questions
asked, no judgments made.  My mind was racing.  I was remembering my dream
from Monday morning.  Was my dream trying to come true?  It couldn't be.  My
dream was set in Dallas in my apartment building.  I was now on a plane to
Orlando!  I couldn't put the pieces together.  Was Justin my guardian angel?
  Or had I completely gone over the edge?

When I gathered the strength to face Justin, I let him go when I noticed we
were not alone.  JC, Lance, Joey and Chris had gathered around, each with a
look of concern of his face.  Again, I couldn't do anything but resort to a
smart-ass remark.

"How's this for fuddy-duddy?"  Needless to say, no one found this too funny.
  The tears returned, but this time I turned away and looked into the
blackness outside.  I didn't feel like telling them about my family, and I
sure as HELL couldn't let them know I was gay.  The last time I told anyone,
the results were tragic.  Leslie didn't count, of course, since she had
already figured me out.  I was shocked back to reality when a hand touched
my shoulder.

"Jase, what's wrong.  You wanna talk about it?"  Justin was truly concerned.
  It felt nice to here his soft, loving voice.  I just stared into his eyes,
losing myself in their beauty.

"Guys, maybe Jason doesn't want to talk about it right now.  Why don't we
just return to our seats and leave well enough alone."  JC had a cold tone
in his voice.  I noticed he called me Jason instead of Jase.  I immediately
looked into his eyes, and again saw daggers shooting at me.  'Could he
be...no he's not...holy shit, he's jealous that Justin was hugging me.  Is
he?  No, I can't believe...he is.  I know he is!'

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it, JC.  It's just, y'all have
been so nice to me, I don't want to burden you with my problems.  Besides, I
would have thought you would be concerned I was some sort of crazed fan or
something.  I've heard some of the stories about the crazy shit fans have
done."

"Please, I think we all knew you weren't some kind of freak when you pulled
that 'Sure, aren't you the Backstreet Boys?' stunt in the restroom back in
Dallas.  You were so down to earth and not all nervous and shit.  That makes
you cool in my book."  Joey said this with sincerity and the other guys
nodded, but I noticed JC had paused for a moment.

"You know, who would have thought that the day you were accosted in the
bathroom of an airport would turn out to be one of the best days you have
had since..." I lost my voice as the emotions came flooding over me again.

"Jason, why don't you just tell us about your dream so we can all sit back
down.  It couldn't have been that bad!"  JC had no idea what he had just
initiated.  I went off in a rage.

"Couldn't be that bad, COULDN'T BE THAT BAD!  What the fuck do you know!
This wasn't just a dream, it's my fuckin' reality!"  I started to tremble as
the rage subsided into sadness.  My tears were hot and stung my face as they
fell down my cheeks.  I couldn't tell them about my family OR being gay.  It
was just all too much to handle.

**Please put your seats in an upright position and stow away your tray
tables in preparation for landing.  Thank You**

Saved by the bell!  Usually, I can't stand all the yip-yap on the intercom
during flights, but I was grateful this time.  I had an excuse to keep from
having to divulge the details of my dream that the guys seemed genuinely
interested in.  Justin reluctantly went back to his seat, as did the other
guys.

TBC...

Now that Jase has met up with *N Sync, will his "Dream of a Guardian Angel"
come true?  Just let me say, the next installment was very difficult to
write, almost as difficult as the "Dream..." I will post it next week.  As
always, comments are welcome, flames ignored. (phantomwriter73@hotmail,com)