Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2000 23:45:28 CDT
From: Phantom Writer <phantomwriter73@hotmail.com>
Subject: Reality-of-a-Guardian-Angel
"Reality of a Guardian Angel"
By: Phantom Writer
Legal Stuff: This material is not meant to be read by anyone under 18. If
you're offended by literature with homosexual themes, step off! If not,
read on. This is a work of FICTION. Therefore, the author makes no claims
as to the sexual orientation of any member of *N Sync.
Side Note: The "Dream..." is over, but now "Reality..." begins! I was
planning on posting this next week, but, so many people ASSUMED much more
than they should from the last installment of "Dream..." that I felt it
easier to post the first part of "Reality..." now, rather than when I
originally scheduled. For those just starting to read this story, please
read the previous installments of "Dream of a Guardian Angel" before
continuing any further. For those who found "Dream..." a little to complex
or thought provoking, let me warn you: "Reality..." will be the same way.
As always, for anyone who would like to send comments or suggestions, please
do so. (phantomwriter73@hotmail.com)
Special Thanks: Thanks to everyone who wanted this story to continue. Funny
thing is, this continuation was written and ready for posting long before
anyone suspected the end.
And now, "Reality of a Guardian Angel: A New Beginning"
I sat at the piano in the studio back at Justin's house. I knew where
Justin kept the spare key in the flowerpot outside the front door. So after
the taxi dropped me off from the airport, I let myself in. My thoughts went
back to everything that had transpired today...
**This morning at the airport*************
I hugged Lance, JC, Justin, Joey and Chris before ushering them out of the
back entrance of the Admiral's Lounge. As I picked up my bag, I had another
odd feeling, like I was falling. I couldn't shake the feeling, so I quickly
left the Admiral's Lounge and went to get a taxi. Once I was in the taxi, I
called Gary and told him to catch the next flight to Orlando and bring all
the paperwork I needed to sign with him.
I arrived at Justin's house at 9AM and realized I couldn't call Lance and
let him know I had changed my plans. The last thing I needed to start doing
was disrupting his work. That would surely lead to trouble and the possible
discovery of the true nature of our relationship. So, I waited around until
Gary got in from Dallas.
Gary arrived a little after noon and we took care of all the paperwork. I
was hoping the guys would get out of their meeting while Gary was still in
town, but Gary was needed back in Dallas ASAP. Gary and I said our
good-byes as I gave him last minute instructions about my apartment and all.
Once Gary's taxi left, I closed the door and walked into the studio.
**Back in the studio*************
My thoughts were still racing as I came to an odd realization. It had been
exactly a week since my dream of a guardian angel. Just like in my dream,
my new life was starting with five of the best friends I could ever imagine.
And better yet, one of those five was my true love. After only a week,
my life had gone from the darkest place imaginable to the light of true love
and friendship. My life had regained focus and I felt a new sense of
purpose. But I couldn't shake the odd feeling I had experienced at the
airport. I knew something wasn't right, I just didn't know what.
I started playing the piano. As always, the music I played seemed to come
to me from my sub-conscience and flowed without any conscious effort. I
played Chopin's Prelude in E Minor, Opus 28, No. 4. I never heard the front
door open as I played.
**At the front door of Justin's house*************
"Come on, Lance. Let's..." Justin suddenly stopped speaking.
As Joey, Chris, JC, Justin and Lance stood in the doorway, nothing could be
heard but the music coming from the piano. Lance slowly walked down the
hall followed closely by the rest of the guys. Just feet away from the door
to the studio, Lance stopped, as if he were afraid of what he might see.
Lance slowly walked into the studio. I never heard the footsteps that
approached.
Lance reached out his hand slowly, as if touching me would burn his skin. I
felt a gentle nudge on the shoulder and turned to see Lance looking at me as
if he had seen a ghost.
"Hey Boo! 'Bout time y'all got here!" As I said this, Lance's eyes rolled
back into his head and he passed out cold. I knelt beside Lance and was
rather shocked to notice JC, Justin, Chris and Joey staring at me with blank
expressions and not even moving to check on Lance. "Would someone like to
tell me what the FUCK is going on here? Lance, LANCE!" I was utterly
confused. Lance had fainted, the other guys looked like they were in a
daze, and I couldn't put the pieces together.
Lance's eyes fluttered open and he looked into my eyes with so much emotion,
I got lost in the depth of his gaze. Lance started trembling as tears
welled up in his eyes. I grabbed him into a hug and held him tight. I had
no idea what had happened. My thoughts began racing with the possibilities.
'Had JIVE found out he was gay? Did someone leak our relationship to the
media? Had something gone wrong with the upcoming release of their album?'
I couldn't stop the questions from speeding through my mind. That's when I
was startled from my daze.
"You're...alive." Lance fought desperately to say these words before his
sobs overwhelmed him.
I was so confused. I couldn't understand what Lance had meant by his
statement. I scooped Lance into my arms and carried him to the couch in the
den. I laid him down and sat on the floor, holding his hand and stoking his
spiky hair. He cried for several minutes before nodding off. I had tears
in my eyes without even knowing why. Whatever had happened, I needed to
know. I turned to Justin, who was sitting the closest to me.
"Justin, what happened? Did something go wrong at the meeting?" I spoke
softly as tears continued to stream down my cheeks.
"You don't know? I can't believe..." Justin broke down, realizing I was
unaware of the situation. JC hugged Justin to his shoulder and allowed his
lover to cry.
"Jase, we just heard on the radio that the flight you were supposed to be on
this morning broke up in mid-flight minutes after takeoff. There were no
survivors." Joey spoke in a daze, tears building in his eyes.
"Guys, that's not funny." I was getting angry, but was really more confused
than angry.
"Jase, this isn't a joke." Chris grabbed the remote control and turned on
the TV. He scanned through several channels until he found a News Brief
about the tragedy.
'News 8 with an update on the tragic loss of all on board Flight 2329. It
has been confirmed that there are no survivors. An eyewitness to the
tragedy, Captain Kenneth Slater of Delta Flight 220, told authorities that
as he was turning for his approach into Orlando airspace, he saw a bright
flash of light. Moments later, Captain Slater felt a shock wave that
originated from what has now been identified as the last position of Flight
2329. Authorities will not speculate if this is an act of terrorism or not.
Stay tuned for further information later, on News 8.'
"NO!!!" I jumped up and ran for the front door.
I made it several steps into the front yard before my knees gave way and I
was overtaken by sobs. Lance had been startled awake by my outburst, and
joined the guys in following me. I was so distraught, I never knew the guys
had found me and carried me back into the den. I had stopped crying and was
shutting down inside. I couldn't confront my emotions. The guys would
never understand. I then felt a warm wetness on my shoulder, and turned to
see what it was. Lance was hugging me tightly as his tears soaked into my
shirt. I pulled away from Lance and kissed him with so much longing and
desire, he was taken aback. I knew I would have to explain my reaction.
"Jase, what's wrong? Why did you run like that?" Lance looked into my eyes
with so much concern, I had to look away, or else, I would have cried for an
eternity.
"It's my fault those people on the plane are dead. It's all my..." I
couldn't continue. My throat wouldn't let my words out. I was overwhelmed
by guilt.
"How is it your fault?" JC asked as Lance continued to hold me.
"Because I had a premonition that something would go wrong with that flight.
When the PA announced the boarding of my flight this morning, I got a
sinking feeling, as if something was telling me not to get on that plane. I
sent y'all off and was getting ready to leave the lounge when I got another
odd feeling. I can't explain it, but I decided not to fly to Dallas and
came back here. Don't you see, if I had told someone that something was
wrong, maybe I could have saved the lives of all those people on the plane."
I wasn't making much logical sense. I must have still been in shock.
"Jase, if you had said anything, the person you told would have probably
thought you were just some crazy fool! Besides, you would probably be a
suspect in the cause of the crash. You can't really believe this is your
fault!" Lance was concerned about my sudden irrational state.
"I'm SO SORRY I didn't call and let you know I had stayed in Orlando. I
didn't want to interrupt your meeting and be disruptive to your work. I
just..." I started crying.
Lance and I held each other and both cried our tears of joy, fear, and
relief. We both fell asleep on the couch together. The emotional roller
coaster had taken Lance and me for a ride today, not to mention we had both
been up since before dawn.
I woke up in Lance's arms as he gently rubbed the back of his hand across my
cheek. His eyes were full of tears. I put my hand on his chin and pulled
him into a kiss. We kissed gently, at first. Then both of us were so
overcome with the need to be with each other, that our kisses moved into a
passionate duel of tongues, as lust took over our bodies. I started to
unbutton Lances shirt. He, in turn, pulled my shirt over my head between
kisses. Neither of us cared that we were making out in Justin's den until
the catcalls came.
"Check it out! Someone grab my camera!" Justin started whistling at Lance
and me.
"Jeez, you two. Get a room!" JC had entered the den and was standing by
Justin with his arm around Justin's waist. Lance and I both flipped the two
of them off.
"Yah, right! The last time you two made that PROMISE, you didn't keep it.
What makes y'all think we're gonna believe you NOW!" Justin started
laughing and turned to JC.
JC and Justin held on to each other as their laughter overtook them. They
didn't notice that Lance and I had gotten up from the couch and quietly
walked up behind them. Lance grabbed JC from behind and I grabbed Justin.
Lance and I threw JC and Justin over our shoulders and proceeded to go up
the stairs.
"Hey, what's goin' on?" Chris asked Lance and me from the kitchen as we
walked up the stairs.
"We have a PROMISE to keep!" Lance laughed evilly as we proceeded up to
Justin's room.
"Joey, Chris. If you hear a bunch of moanin' and whatnot, don't worry. It
just means JC and Justin are enjoying our PROMISE." I yelled down the
stairs as JC and Justin realized what Lance and I were up to.
Lance and I dropped JC and Justin onto Justin's bed. I looked at Lance and
both of us started a strip tease for Justin and JC. Lance and I were just
about to drop our boxer briefs when we both fell out laughing and collapsed
onto the bed. Lance and I couldn't take it any more. JC looked as if he
was about to have a heart attack and Justin looked as if he had just creamed
his jeans! It was too much.
"Why did you two stop? See JC, I told you they couldn't keep a PROMISE!
They're nothin' but a couple of teases!" Justin pouted and JC just shook
his head condescendingly.
That's when Lance and I took them over the edge. Lance got up on his knees
at the foot of the bed and I walked around behind him. I hooked my fingers
into the waist of his boxer briefs and started to slowly pull them down.
Just before his cock was revealed, JC and Justin jumped up from the bed and
ran downstairs. Lance and I just looked at each other and fell out
laughing. After we both dressed, we returned to the kitchen where Justin
was telling Joey and Chris about the whole ordeal.
Lance and I decided to put an end to this whole PROMISE or THREAT thing.
Lance walked up behind JC and I walked up behind Justin. Lance grabbed JC
by the waist and started grinding his crotch into JC's ass. I reached
around with my right arm and put it under Justin's shirt and tweaked his
left nipple while I hooked my left thumb into the waist of his pants just
above his crotch and gave him a couple of pelvic thrusts from behind. Joey
and Chris were rolling in the floor in hysterical laughter as were Lance and
I. JC and Justin just stood there in a daze, too shocked to say anything.
"Now, who can't keep a PROMISE!" I continued to roll on the floor, laughing
hysterically.
JC and Justin finally snapped out of their daze and realized they had just
been taken on the biggest ride ever. They began to laugh as they realized
it had all been a joke. That's when Lance shocked everyone, even me.
"Damn, Jase. I was really lookin' forward to my first orgy, especially
since it would be with two of my best friends, and also knowing that my
other two best friends could have walked in on us at any time. Now I'm so
horny, I don't know if I can control myself!" Lance started grinning from
ear to ear.
"Lance, I never thought I would say this, but I do believe I've been a bad
influence on you." I stood up and walked toward Lance. I grabbed him into
a tight hug and whispered into his ear.
"PROMISE or THREAT!" Lance came back at me.
"Baby, either way, it's all good!" I turned around to find Joey, Chris, JC,
and Justin making kissing noises at Lance and me.
Lance and I left well enough alone and walked into the den. I grabbed my
cell phone and called Leslie. I hadn't updated her on my return to Dallas.
While I talked to Leslie, Lance cuddled up to me and hugged me tightly.
After talking several minutes to Leslie, I realized Lance was crying. I
told Leslie I would call her later this week and ended the call.
"Boo, what's wrong?" I knew what it was, but I had to ask.
"Jase...today I thought I had lost you...again. I just can't imagine...my
life...without you in it. I would die if something ever happened to you."
Lance looked up into my eyes and I saw his love. I held him and sang the
first song that came to me.
When the visions around you...bring tears to your eyes.
And all the surrounds you...are secrets and lies.
I'll be your strength...I'll give you hope.
Keeping your faith when it's gone.
The one you should call...was standing here all alone.
And I will take...you in my arms.
And hold you right where you belong.
'Til the day my life is through, this I promise you.
This I promise you.
I've loved you forever...in lifetimes before.
And I promise you never...will you hurt anymore.
I give you my word...I give you my heart.
This is a battle we've won.
And with this vow...forever has now begun.
Just close your eyes...each lovin' day.
And know this feeling won't go away.
'Til the day my life is through, this I promise you.
This I promise you.
Over and over I fall...when I hear you call.
Without you in my life, baby...I just wouldn't be living at all.
And I will take...you in my arms.
And hold you right where you belong.
'Til the day my life is through, this I promise you, baby.
Just close your eyes...each lovin' day.
And know this feeling won't go away.
Every word I say is true, this I promise you.
Every word I say is true, this I promise you.
I promise you.
I sat there and held Lance as he quietly sobbed into my chest. I looked up
and noticed Joey and Chris holding each other lovingly as the tears fell.
JC and Justin just looked at Lance and me in amazement.
"Justin, you and I had better be thankful Jase doesn't want to go into the
music business. We both may be out of a job if he ever does." JC spoke as
he wiped the tears from his face.
"Your career's safe, J-say. Yours too, Capt'n." I smiled at both of them
and rubbed Lance's back.
"What's up with the nicknames?" Joey chimed in.
"Nothing, RED. Or do you prefer Joe-Joe." I arched my eyebrows.
"Joe-Joe? That makes me sound like a pimp!" Joey was just too much.
"Then I guess I'll call you Red! Besides, I think it goes well with CK.
Makes you two sound like a perfume display." I started to laugh.
After several minutes of thought, Joey got the joke. He was Red, and Chris
was CK, just like the perfumes. I just sat there smiling, watching the cogs
in Joey's brain mull this over.
"So, now that you have nicknames for everybody, what does that mean?"
Justin asked in a sarcastic tone.
"It means that when I use your real names, you WILL listen without
hesitation. Think of it as a way for me to get your attention just like
when your mother uses your full name." I smiled, but a single tear slipped
out of my right eye as I realized I would never hear anyone call my full
name again, like my mother had done so many times in the past.
Lance saw the single tear and wiped it from my cheek. The guys came in and
sat down as we all sat in silence for several minutes. I knew I had made
them worry about me, and I hadn't intended to. So, I decided I had to get
this blue mood out of here.
"Does anyone remember a flight to Orlando where this emotional smart-ass
asked his friends not to pity him or be afraid of saying the wrong thing
around him? Well I have it on good authority that his request still stands.
So drop the gloomy faces and let's get on with life. Besides, for someone
who wasn't supposed to be alive right now, I'm rather hungry." As I said
this, I felt Lance tense up. "Sorry, Boo. My bad!" I kissed the top of
his head and he relaxed.
"So, what are you going to do now that you didn't go to Dallas?" Chris
asked this as he repositioned himself on Joey's lap to face me while he
spoke.
"Well, Gary flew out this morning and I took care of all my legal matters
here. So, I guess I'm going to start looking for a new pad. I'm really
gonna miss my loft in Dallas, but I'm thinking a house; something
permanent." As I said this Lance sat up and looked at me with a strange
smile on his face.
"Jase, do you have so much faith that WE will work out that you are ready to
buy a house here in Orlando?" Lance wasn't speaking with any doubt in his
voice, but more with a tone of disbelief.
"Yes, I have faith that no matter what happens, WE will work. I'm not
saying it's gonna be easy; I'm a real BITCH in the morning, but it will
work. 'Every time God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window!' That's
one saying I take to heart. It will be very difficult to have you roaming
the ends of the Earth while I'm here in Orlando, but think of it this way:
you will always have something warm to come home to." I was getting sappy,
but I didn't care. Lance would understand, and that's all that mattered.
"I love you, Jase!" Lance started kissing me before I could respond.
"Now, if it's OK with you two, would you like to have something to eat,
other than each other." Justin was trying to be cute, but Lance and I
decided to get Justin going again.
"Yah, Jase and I were thinking about having a slice of JC with some Justin
for desert." Lance and I started laughing.
"Lance, you need to QUIT! It's one thing for Jase to talk that way, but for
you to talk like that, it's like incest." Justin hadn't considered his
words carefully, so I put my finger over Lance's lips so I could respond.
"Excuse me, but, if you're referring to Lance making sexual innuendoes
toward his fellow band mates, I suggest you look who you're sharin' YOUR bed
with BUSTA!" I smirked at Justin, knowing I had gotten him good.
"He's got you on that one, Curly!" Joey started giggling.
"Hey, leave Justin alone. You're no better!" JC stood up for Justin, even
though the situation was getting a little bit silly.
"OK! Now that we know everyone is screwin' family, of sorts, except Lance,
let's get back to the topic of food. Did y'all have a big lunch? I haven't
had anything down my throat since last night." I realized how bad that
sounded after I said it, but it didn't help that Lance was blushing nine
shades of red.
"So, Jase hasn't eaten any Boo, I mean food since last night! Guess he may
be getting a little horny, I mean hungry." Justin was doing his best not to
laugh. I couldn't say that for Joey, Chris and JC. They were laughing so
hard, they cried.
"Real funny, smart-ass. But I'm serious. Are y'all up for some food." I
sat up and put my leg over Lance's head so I could get up.
"Jase, we never ate lunch. We hadn't been out of our meeting for long
before we heard..." Lance didn't finish his sentence.
"Oh, Boo. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I just wished I had called you
before I called Gary. That would have saved ALL of us from taking a ride on
this emotional who-ha we've been on." I lifted Lance's face so I could kiss
him as Joey went off on my comment.
"Who-ha? What the hell is a who-ha?" Joey scratched his head, just like
all the cartoons depict characters when they are thinking.
"You know, like a doomagatchey, a thingamajig. Oh, never mind. If you
haven't gotten it by now, you never will." I rolled my eyes and stood up,
pulling Lance up beside me.
"Huh?" Joey was bewildered, again!
"Don't strain yourself, Red. Let's get some chow! I could eat a horse!" I
turned to leave when Chris spoke up.
"Hey Scoop, we'll let you go FEED Jase upstairs while Joe and I go pick up
the food. Jase did say he could eat a horse, and we ALL know what you're
packin' down there." Chris held a straight face for longer than I expected,
but eventually he fell out laughing.
"Why should we have to go upstairs?" I looked into Lance's eyes as he tried
to see if I was serious or not.
I turned Lance so his back was facing the guys, knelt down in front of him,
and undid his pants, which fell to the floor. Just as I put my hands on
Lance's hips to pull down his boxers, Chris spoke up.
"You know, I think Joe and I have to go get the food, or something. We'll
see you guys later." Chris grabbed Joey's arm and they both ran by Lance
and me and out the front door. Lance and I started laughing as I pulled his
pants back up.
"Y'all are just too twisted! One of these days, we're gonna start thinking
you two wouldn't mind if we all joined in on your bed time fun!" JC spoke
with a hint of moral shock in his voice.
"Who said we wouldn't?" Lance said this, which shocked the hell out of me.
"Boo, I'll say it again. I do believe I've been a bad influence on you. I
never would have thought you were so HORNY all the time." I grinned slyly.
"PLEASE, you should see him on tour. It's like the parade of the morning
wood when he gets up. You would think we were at a circus, with the tent he
has up every morning." JC started laughing.
"Well, I don't know how I'm going to handle you being on tour away from me
with J-say over there scopin' out your wood every morning." I smiled at JC
and Lance.
"He'll have my wood to worry about on tour, so Scoop will have to make do
with ROSIE, 'cause JC WON'T be doin' Scoop any favors, you got that!"
Justin slapped JC's arm as he said this.
"Sir, yes SIR!" JC grinned at Justin, as did everyone else.
About thirty minutes later, Joey and Chris arrived with the food. I was so
hungry, I didn't even tell them that my Italian cooking was shit-loads
better than what Joey and Chris had brought back. After we all ate, Joey
and Chris decided to head back home to pack. That's when I realized this
was no longer a dream.
"PACK! When do y'all leave? I assume it's for your promotional tour of 'No
Strings Attached' before the release week after next?" I tried my best not
to let the disappointment of not being with Lance show through, but I guess
I didn't try hard enough.
"Oh, Jase. I'm sorry I haven't told you yet. But when I thought you were
going to be in Dallas, so I never thought to tell you we were leaving
tomorrow morning to start promoting the new album. With everything that's
happened today, it just slipped my mind. I'm really sorry." Lance felt
bad, but I didn't like seeing him so worried.
"Don't worry. I knew this time would come, I just didn't know how hard it
would be. How long will y'all be gone?" I forced myself to smile.
"Well, we'll be back here for the weekend, but then we'll be gone until the
album is released. Then I think we have a couple days off before heading to
the Oscars to perform with Gloria. After that, we have a couple of
appearances before we come back here to start practice for the tour. The
next month will be really heavy, but after the first week or so of April, we
should be back here until the tour starts." Lance was trying to remember
all the details.
"I'm afraid to ask how long the tour is." I sunk down in my chair.
"Then don't. There's no sense in getting all worked up over something that
hasn't even happened yet. Who knows, it may not be as bad as you think."
Lance grinned at me, and I knew he was up to something.
That evening, Justin dropped Lance and me off at Lance's and I helped Lance
begin to pack. I stopped several times and had to leave the room. I didn't
want Lance to see me upset. Deep down, I knew he knew I was upset, but I
didn't want him to feel guilty about leaving me behind. I knew what I was
getting into when I admitted to myself that I was head over hills in love
with Lance.
TBC...
How's Jase gonna handle being away from Lance? Let's just wait and see.