Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2000 12:42:54 -0800 (PST)
From: B-Rok Fan <brokfan_1@yahoo.com>
Subject: Dreams Coming True Part 3

Hey all, I finally buckled down and finished the next installment, it just
seems that with all I have to do lately I find it hard to find time to
write. But rest assured I will continue to write on the story until I
completely run out of ideas. I actually have the next couple parts written,
it is just a matter of editing, now.

Anyway the usual stuff applies, this doesn't mean anything about anybody,
if you shouldn't read this, then, don't.

Thanks to Clive and WriterGray for sending me their comments on the
story. It feels good to know that someone enjoys something I have
written. You guys mean a lot to me! :o)


Dreams Coming True Part 3

	As Brian and the others rushed out on stage I felt Fi's hand come
to rest on my shoulder as I watch the guys dance.  I think she may have
said something in my ear but I was too engrossed in Brian and the guys'
performance to notice.

	After a few songs and a lot of wild dancing, the guys came running
off the stage, with Kevin in the lead as usual and Brian at the end.  As
they ran by to get changed for the next part of the show, Brian once again
gave me a grin as he rushed by and I returned best smile I could muster, as
I felt the blush rise in my cheeks again.

	While their other dancers did the usual chair routine to the music
of "As Long As You Love Me", Fi came over close so we could talk for a
moment.  "Having a good time?" she giggled.

	"Oh Fi, this is the best night of my life!  But why does Brian keep
doing that?" I must admit that I was curious.

	"You wanna know what I think?  I think someone's got a crush," she
said while trying to keep a straight face.

	"Ha! I wish! What makes you think he'd even be interested?"

	"Oh please, how could he not be interested, after the face he made
after that little kiss you gave him earlier!" Fi seemed almost as happy as
I was at the possibility of something between me and Brian.

	"You saw that, too huh?" I remarked with a faraway look in my eyes.

	By then everyone had changed and it was time for each of them to do
their solos on stage.  Howie walked by and returned to the stage to begin
his solo, while the others seemed more interested in getting a drink and
cooling off a little.

	Instead of watching Howie, I became much more interested in finding
Brian again.  I finally spotted him and Nick standing near the other side
of the stage with bottles of water in their hands. They had both changed
from their Larger Than Life outfits into something slightly more formal.
Nick had black pants with a white shirt and a leather jacket, while Brian
had a purple shirt with matching pants, tie, and vest. They seemed to be
having a pretty serious conversation, but both had smiles on their
faces. You could tell by watching them how much they meant to one another.

	Nick was the first to notice me approaching and seemed to find that
very amusing for some reason and almost made Brian end up wearing the
mouthful of water that he had just drunk. "Cough Cough, hey Josh, come
here!" he managed to get out with a lot of laughs.

	"And what is so funny, Mr. Carter?" I asked him reprimandingly.

	Suddenly Brian spoke up, "You'll have to excuse him. He's himself
today!"

	I broke out in laughter just as AJ jogged by and with a wave,
headed out on stage and gave Howie a pat on the back as he met him.

	"So Brian when do you get to do your solo?" I asked him.

	"I go after Kevin, and then Nick goes after me," he said while once
again never taking his eyes off of me.

	"That's right! They know to save the best for last!" Nick joked
while sticking his head between Brian's and mine.

	I decided to be a little bold, "Yeah, right!" I said sarcasticly,
"We all know who the real talent of the Backstreet Boys is, don't we?" I
said while wrapping my right arm around Brian's shoulders.

	"That's exactly what I was thinking," Brian said through a grin.

	"Yeah , AJ of course!" and I busted out laughing, until I saw the
small waver in Brian's smile.

	"Hey!" he said trying to defend himself.

	"Just kidding, Bri. You know your the best. Not that it takes much
to be better than Nick," I said, bringing Brian's spirits back up again and
sending him into hysterical laughter, which then triggered my own... we
were just like little kids laughing at the stupid joke.

	"You know, I'm standing right here," said Nick, trying to look
offended while holding back his own giggles.

	"So, where are y'all headed after Nashville?" I asked

	"Actually we've got a break for a couple of days, and then we're
headed to Jackson, Mississippi," said Nick while pouring water over his
head and running his hands through his hair.

	"That sounds like fun. If you don't mind me asking, what do you
plan to do in your time off?" I was trying not to sound desperate to see
them again.

	Brian had just finished his water and was toweling his face off,
"Actually, we just found out about the time off earlier today... something
to do with scheduling problems, so we haven't had much time to make any
plans." I couldn't help but notice how incredible he looked close up.  It
was the first time I had taken time to really 'check him out' since we had
met earlier.

	He must have caught me staring, "Josh? You okay?"

	"Um... yeah sure," I said coming back to my senses and trying to
cover for myself. "Hey isn't Kevin next up so sing?"

	"Yeah, you wanna go watch?" Brian asked.

	"Actually Kevin is Fi's favorite, and I just wanted to make sure to
be there to tease her a little," I said with an evil snicker.

	I could see a similar naughty glint in Brian's eyes, "Sounds like
fun!"

	Brian and I quickly came up with our plan to get Fiona, and made
our way back to where she was, and leaving Nick to play with his hair a
little more.

	"Hey sweetie, having fun?" I said while trying to repress a giggle.

	Just about then Kevin danced onto the stage and began "Nobody But
You" and Fiona grabbed me by my shirt and started shaking me wildly while
never taking her eyes of off Kevin, and screaming "Oh my God!! He is so
fine!!"

	"I don't know, he looks kinda tall and gangly to me," Brian
remarked from behind us.

	I knew that all it took to get Fiona fired up was to insult her
'Kevvy'.  Once she had overheard a group of girls talking about how he was
too old to be a Backstreet Boy and she immediately began giving them a
lecture about the virtues of maturity.

	She immediately took the bait. "How could you insult someone as
great as Kevin! He is by far the... the... the..." As soon as she saw who
she was about to bawl out she seemed to once again lose her voice.

	Brian and I just doubled over laughing! Fi couldn't do anything but
stand there with the most priceless look on her face and turn beet red.

	"Oh my God! Brian I'm so sorry!" she stammered while continuing to
turn many more shades of crimson.

	"Hey, that's all right. Anyone who is that quick to defend my
cousin, I have to like," he said with a cute grin.

	I could hear Kevin finishing up his song, and obviously so did
Brian because he was quickly trying to catch his breath and wiping the
tears from his eyes.  "Looks like its about my turn to shine." he said
while picking up his guitar from where it had been leaning against the
wall, unnoticed.

	"I think you shine just fine here," I said seductively before I
could catch myself.

	Fi must have noticed because when I glanced at her, her eyes were
close to the size of quarters.

	But obviously, either Brian hadn't heard me or didn't think
anything about it because he simply smiled and giggled as he stepped away
from us to get ready to go on stage.

	"And that, my dear, was the boldest thing you have ever done in
your entire life," Fiona said with a very stylish flourish.

	"Oh give me a break! He didn't even hear me!" It sounded as if I
was trying to convince myself more than Fi.

	"Trust me! He heard you! I can tell about these things."

	"Oh really? If you can tell about these things, what about that
stud on stage that you seemed pretty close to backstage earlier. You
certainly seemed to be enjoying the show before Brian and I interrupted," I
teased while indicating in the direction of Kevin dancing, and whose shirt
had mysteriously managed to come unbuttoned partially while on stage.

	She seemed to zone out as Kevin approached our side of the stage
and was about to walk by, so I waved my hand in front of her face as Kevin
neared, to bring her back to reality.

	She still seemed far away until Kevin came within touching distance
and stopped in front of her. "Hi Fiona, enjoying the concert?"

	And for the third time of the night Fi lost her voice and managed
to communicate by nodding her head spastically up and down.

	Kevin just laughed lightly and walked on by to get a quick rest,
while I watched Brian make his entrance onto the stage and sit on a stool
in the middle of the stage with his guitar.

	Now it was my turn to zone out as I watched Brian begin singing.

	After the final encore and the stage had gone dark Fi and I decided
that since it seemed the place was shutting down soon, we had no reason to
stick around.  We made our way down the hall that led to the back entrance
that we had came through.  As we passed by the side entrance of the boys'
dressing room, that we had came from just before the concert, I had to stop
by just once and ponder at what I was about to leave behind.  Who was I
kidding?! There was no hope for a loser like me to ever date a Backstreet
Boy!... But he did smile when I kissed him, and he had giggled when I
complemented him... I couldn't just leave that chance behind, no matter how
farfetched it may be.

	I didn't even notice that Fi was already halfway down the hall,
when I lightly tapped on the door.

	When Fiona heard the tap, she jumped and looked back to find me
standing at the door.  "Josh! What the Hell are you doing?!"

	"Fi, I don't care what you say, I can not leave him behind! I know
it's a stretch, but I have to try." I pleaded with her.

	Her harsh reprimanding face began to melt into a smile again as she
finally understood that I had to go through with this, no matter the
consequences.

	"Whatever, sweetie, I'm heading back to the hotel." Fi and I had
made reservations when we realized that we would be out late and didn't
want to be driving in the middle of the night.  "You don't care to grab a
cab do you? I have a splitting headache. This has been a little more loud
music than I am accustomed to."

	I shook my head at Fi. It always amazed me how a simple headache
could take her out of commission for days. "Not at all sweetie. Be
careful. And please call Mom and Dad and tell them what's going on." I knew
they would have a cow if they knew I was going to be out in a city that I
had no clue how to get around in, by myself.

	"Don't worry, I'll tell them you're flirting with the Backstreet
boys. I'm sure they'll understand," she shouted before pushing out the door
through the small crowd of crazed fans who had stayed after-hours to try to
catch a glimpse of a Backstreet Boy.

	Just as I was about to knock once again, the door opened and I came
face to face with Kevin, wrapped in a towel.  And let me tell you, I may
not be one to never know what to say in a situation but this was one such
moment... luckily Nick helped me out.

	"Hey Josh, I was beginning to think you may have bailed on us
early," Nick yelled from the couch he was sharing with AJ and Howie.

	"Nah, y'all ain't hardly that lucky!" I said while hopping over and
squeezing between Nick and AJ.  They had all cleaned up and dressed after
the hot sweaty show.

	Kevin walked over to us. "All right, I'm going to go finish
dressing. You guys try to behave yourself while I'm gone."

	Immediately Nick, AJ, and I all made a face that seemed to say
"Who, me?" and Howie cracked up laughing at our similarly ridiculous faces.

	As soon as Kevin stepped back out through a door that evidently led
to the showers, I noticed the obvious lack of Brian.  "Where's Brian?"

	"He wasn't as alert as usual and got stuck having to take his
shower last," Howie said with a smooth grin.

	"Ha! I wonder what..." I was interrupted by Brian opening the door
that Kevin had just left through.  He was wearing khakis and a blue shirt,
definitely a little overdressed compared to his companions, who were all
clad in sweatpants and sweatshirts.

	I decided that I was going to do this, I was going to do it
right. So I did the only thing that any self respecting man would do when
faced with something so obviously irresistible... I whistled.

	"Looking good, Rok. Big plans for tonight?" AJ spoke up.

	"What? Just because you all chose to be slobs in your off hours
doesn't mean that I have to," Brian answered with a cute defensive face.

	"Well I think you look great." I said, looking into his eyes, "But
you might want to do something with this." I got up and ran my hand over
his very messed up hair.

	Brian backed up and glanced into a mirror on the wall. "Yikes! What
happened here?" he said while grabbing a brush and a bottle of water.

	"So Josh, since none of these guys seem to be planning anything
else tonight, would you wanna go with me to get a bite to eat? After a
concert I am usually starved." Brian said while pouring a little water in
his hand and running it through his hair and then using the brush to force
it into place.

	My shock must have shown itself in my face, because Nick seemed to
find me very amusing again. "Sure Josh, I'm not really hungry..."

	"Now there's a miracle if I ever heard one... Nick's not hungry!"
AJ teased.

	"Hey," Nick said in his defense while giving AJ a false punch to
the arm. "Like I was saying, I'm not hungry and Kevin doesn't like any of
us going out alone, and you seem pretty trust worthy."  Nick seemed to want
me to go more than Brian did.

	"Well, if that's the case, I'd love to go with you," I said while
watching Brian's face in the mirror.  "Where do you wanna go?"

	"On the way back from the mall, this afternoon, I saw a few places
that might still be open. I'm pretty sure we can find some place to
eat. Besides, they're probably pretty empty this time of night, so we won't
be bothered." He had finished taming his hair and was ready to go.

	"Okay, you sure Kevin's okay with this?" I knew that Kevin liked to
keep a pretty close eye on everyone.

	"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be cool with it" Brian said while opening the
door for me to exit.

	"All right, I'll see you guys later!" I said while waving behind me
as I exited the dressing room and Brian followed.

	We walked in silence down the short hallway that led to the back
entrance.  Barbara saw us coming and grabbed her walkie talkie and said a
few words into it.

	"Hi Barbara," I said while extending my hand.

	"Hi Josh. Mr. Littrell, security has cleared the rear so you should
be able to get out without much trouble," she said while giving my hand a
quick shake and then opening the door for us.

	"Thanks, Barb." Brian said as he followed me out the door.

	The last time I was out there, it had been bright daylight and
there had been about 500 screaming girls, but now in the silent darkness it
almost had a creepy feel to it.  As I walked in the relative blackness, I
realized that I didn't know where we were going.  "Um, Brian, how are we
going to get there? Fi took my car to our hotel."

	I couldn't really see him very well in the darkness but I was
almost sure he was smiling by the sound in his voice. "Don't worry about
it. Management makes sure we are well taken care of."

	Just as Brian said that we rounded the corner of the building and a
long black limo came into view.

	"We are going to eat in that?!" I said with obvious shock in my
voice.

	"Hey, like I said, well taken care of." Brian said with a laugh.

	Brian walked up to the back door of the limo, opened it, and made
an 'after you' motion with is arm.

	I climbed in and quickly got very comfortable on the leather seats,
and glanced around at the telephone, TV, and mini bar.

	Brian climbed in and crawled up next to the window separating us
and the driver, and rolled it down.  I heard him talking to the driver
about somewhere to eat and took the opportunity to check out his butt while
it was in such great view.  After 'taking in the sights' I sat back and
prepared to enjoy my first ride in a limo.

	"So, Josh Lawson, since you are staying in a hotel, you're
obviously not from Nashville.  Where are you from?" I loved the way he
looked me in the eyes when he asked me a question.

	"Actually Fiona and I are from a little town about halfway between
here and Memphis, ironically enough called Lexington."

	Brian brightened up a little at that comment. "Hey! I'm from
Lexington, Kentucky! That's cool!"

	"Yeah, we Lexington boys gotta stick together," I said while
briefly wrapping my arm around Brian and giving him a squeeze.

	After that we sat the rest of the ride in silence just both taking
in as much of the sights in Nashville one can get in the back of a limo in
the middle of the night.  But I did notice that Brian seemed to be taking
in the sights of me more than Nashville, because every time he thought that
I wasn't looking he would be staring at me.  I thought about asking him if
something was wrong but decided against it.

	The limo pulled up right in front of a little ice cream parlor that
Brian had indicated and the driver got out and opened the door for us. I
wasn't too sure about ice cream at midnight, but I am pretty
open-minded. Brian got out first because he was closer to the door and then
offered his hand to help me get out, which I readily took.

	Brian jogged up to the entrance and walked in, and I followed
behind.  The place was almost completely empty with one teenage girl behind
the counter reading a magazine with the Backstreet Boys all over the front
of it. As Brian walked toward her I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him
back.

	"Let me," I whispered into his ear. "I have a feeling it will be a
lot faster for me." I pointed at the magazine in the girl's hand.

	Brian nodded and turned and returned to the sidewalk patio outside
the store.

	In a couple of minutes I returned to the patio with a hot fudge
sundae in each hand.

	"Hmmm, I sticking with you," Brian said as he dug into his sundae.

	We sat for a while in silence just enjoying the mixture of hot and
cold as it slid down our throats. The sun has long since set and the sky
above was almost pitch black, but with the lights of the city it was easy
to see Brian's smile as he swallowed each bite of ice cream.

	"So are you and Fiona dating?" Brian sort of blurted out like it
was something that he had been trying to say for a long time.

	"Haha! Me and Fi?" I guess my outburst was a little uncalled-for,
"I'm sorry. No Fiona and I are definitely not dating."

	I long time ago decided that if anyone ever asked me or I felt that
they needed to know for the sake of the relationship, that I would tell
them that I was gay, and this seemed like one of those times.  The only
other times were with Fiona and my best friend, David.

	"Brian, I have to tell you something and I hope that you will
understand, because I really don't want you to freak out or run away or
anything," I said, trying not to cry, while a tear made its way down my
face.  Every time I came out to someone I felt on the verge of a nervous
breakdown.

	Brian took my shivering hands into mine. "Josh, whatever it is I
promise I won't run away."

	"OK. Brian," I said while trying to control the shaking of my
bottom lip. "I'm gay." I said it almost like a question rather than an
answer, because I am never sure how the person is going to take it.

	He just looked into my eyes and brought my hands up to his mouth
and gave my knuckles a soft kiss. "Josh." Brian said quietly and then
mouthed the easily recognizable words, "I'm gay, too."


To Be Continued...

Ha! I hope you enjoyed this installment. Have a great weekend!

Email me at brokfan_1@yahoo.com