Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 08:48:22 +0000 (GMT)
From: goldenknight <goldenknightuk@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Dreams of an Angel - 7 (gay/boybands)

	Hey all. Here's the next part of Dreams of an Angel. A little bit
sloppy I think, but after reading it again and again, I can't seem to find
anything to adjust so it'll have to do I guess. Anyway, again, thanks for
the cool feedback guys. You guys are the coolest :)

	Onwards to the boring part! Legal matters! Hehehe. You can press
'fast-forward' now.

	Well, first of all, this story, as you will certainly find out
soon, is TOTALLY fictional. So! If any of you truly believe in it... well,
my brother is studying psychiatry right now for his final medical
examination in April, so maybe I'll just refer you to him. You'd make a
good delusional subject. Secondly! None of the guys in the Backstreet Boys
are gay! (No matter how hard I wished it :P). But nobody say we couldn't
dream it, heh heh. Thirdly, Warren Worthington is actually a character from
Marvel Comics, X-men known as Angel or recently Archangel. Okay fine, I
admit it. I'm bored and I am making a pathetic attempt to make life a lil'
bit interesting. Its not like I'm gonna publish it or something. What else
to talk about hmm? Oh, there may be some adult gay scenes in this
story. Unlike my brother, I don't mind writing naughty stuff ;) so! If
you're underage, naughty, naughty! I can only ask you to go away, but I
cannot do anything else to stop you from reading on anyway. Hell! I've been
sneaking into the internet to watch gay porns since I was 13! So, if your
parents or whoever responsible for you catch you, don't say I didn't warned
you. However, if you're homophobic... well maybe I can seduce you enough to
turn you around heh heh. I do so love a challenge ;)

	Anyway, enough talk. Any comments or boos or suggestion or
whatever, just sent it to the same address as in NNTs,
goldenknightuk@yahoo.co.uk . Yeah, we shared the same address. Don't
ask. Long story.

	Okay then! On to the show. Now, don't be shy now. If you got any
comments or suggestions, just drop me a note. You do the request, and I'll
do the show.

	Andy

*********************************

"What... what's an empath?" Nick asked nervously.

Warren smiled reassuringly at him in return.

"There are three types of psionist." Warren replied. "Telepathy,
telekinesis and empathy."

"Telepathy deals mostly with thoughts. A telepath can project his or her
thoughts into another person's mind. They can also manipulate another
person's thoughts, altering it and making it as if the recipient came up
with the altered thought all by his or herself." Hank explained patiently,
as if giving a lecture. "Telekinesis, however, deals with the manipulation
of the natural psychic energy of the mind, converting it into a
well-defined psychic forces that can be focused and projected externally to
move any selected object in the surroundings."

"Empathy, however, deals mostly with emotions." Hank continues, "An empath
can sense and receive other people's emotions. They can also project his or
her emotions to other people, making the recipients experience that emotion
as if it is their own. In a way, an empath is similar to a telepath, except
for the fact that empaths deals with a more basic aspect of the mind. They
can manipulate thoughts like telepaths but only through an indirect method,
i.e. via the manipulation of emotions. Remember, thoughts are influenced by
emotions, and..."

"What Hank is trying to say is, you can manipulate other people's
emotions." Jean interrupted gently, causing Hank to blink in surprise. Jean
smiled at him apologetically. Like all brilliant scientists, Hank does tend
to wander off from time to time when he got caught up in a scientific
topic. "It is a wonderful gift, Nick, because empaths are very rare in the
world. So far, I've only encountered three, two of them as enemies. But
even compared to all of them, I've never encounter one as strong as you."

"How strong?" asked Warren.

"Very strong." Jean replied softly, looking at Nick with wonder in her
eyes. "I scanned your mind as best I could, trying to find some idea as how
strong your potential in empathy is but no matter how far I stretched
myself, I couldn't even feel your limits. I'd say you are as strong in
empathy as Professor Xavier and Emma Frost are strong in telepathy, and
these two people are amongst the strongest telepaths that I know of!"

Warren looked at Nick worriedly as the young man sagged in his arms.

"Nick? Are you all right?" he asked in concern.

Nick simply stares at the space before him without answering. So he is a
mutant after all. His life will never be the same again. People will hate
him now. His family will hate him. His friends... Kevin, Brian,
AJ... especially Howie... will hate him when they finds out about
this. They will kick him out of the group. No one wants to associate
themselves with mutants. Howie would even add a little bit of trashing just
to make his hell complete. And what about his parents? Mom and Dad have
nothing against mutant in general but do they really? What about the fact
that their son is a mutant himself? Would they be able to handle that? No
parents would want a mutant freak as their son, no matter how tolerant they
are to mutants, especially one who cannot be trusted because he could
manipulate their emotions and thoughts. His parents would disown him. His
brother and sister will hate him. His friends will never trust him.

"Nick," Warren called him softly and worriedly as tears began to well up in
Nick's eyes and spill onto his cheeks.

Unable to hold the bitterness inside anymore, Nick began to sob quietly,
and Warren's heart sank as he looked at the lost expression in Nick's
eyes. The sob grew and Warren could only wrap his arm around the young man
and hold him against his chest, letting him cry against it. Inadvertently,
he remembered the time when his own mutation manifest itself too; the time
when his wings sprout from his back. He knew what Nick is going through
right now, because he underwent the very same thing back then. All mutants
went through the same thing. No one wants to be a mutant. No one wants to
be a freak. No one wants to be different from everyone else. But that is
not for them to decide, especially when it comes to being mutants, as much
as they could not decide what powers they would want to wield as a
mutant. The X-gene does not discriminate on who gets to be a mutant and who
will get one particular power. If you're a mutant, you're a mutant. That's
the end of it.

Looking down at Nick, his eyes saddened and he knew that the only thing he
could do right now is holding Nick and ensuring him that he is not alone.

'Warren,' Jean's telepathic voice manifests itself in Warren's
mind. 'Comfort him and talk to him. He trusts you and will listen to
you. Hank and I will wait outside to give you some privacy. You must
convince him to accept his mutation and learn to control his empathic
ability, Warren, because his controls are slipping.'

'Can you help him? Built up a mental shield to protect his mind?' Warren
replied telepathically.

'He already has his own mental shield, Warren. In any case, my knowledge in
empathy is limited.' Jean replied sadly. 'Most of my efforts are in honing
my telekinetic abilities, not telepathy. The Professor has more experience
in dealing with empaths than I. You must convince him to go to
Westchester.'

'Jean is right, my friend.' Warren heard Hank's telepathic voice in his
head too. He was not aware that Jean has formed a telepathic link
connecting all three of them. 'Professor Xavier can help him.'

'How could Nick already has a mental shield?' asked Warren.

'I'm not sure,' Jean replied quietly. "I suspect that Nick's empathy
manifested itself years ago, probably while he was 15 when his first
episodes of headache manifest itself. But as I understand from his history,
he enrolled himself into his present singing career at around that age
too. The excitement and determination to reach his goal must have enabled
him to subconsciously build up a mental shield of his own to hold all the
external emotions out. Judging by how strong he is, the shield he built was
equally strong too, which explains how he was able to withstand all the
concerts and crowds throughout these past years. But as the years pass on,
the shield began to crack and thin. It must have snapped at last because I
saw the remnants of it while I was inside his mind.'

'He must learn to built it up again and also control his empathic ability
so that he does not project his own emotions to other people. I remembered
you mentioning that there were times when his bad mood seems to spread to
the rest of his bandmates, causing them to snap at each other? Well that's
one sign that his control is slipping, causing his emotion to be projected
externally.'

'It also explains his constant daydreams. Daydreams usually reflect a
person's mood or emotions. Considering that Nick tends to receive different
moods from different persons, its no wonder he would daydream a lot. It
also explains all the mixed emotions he felt during the show. He was
basically experiencing the emotions of everyone in the audience! No wonder
he lost control at last and passed out. No matter how strong he is in
empathy, I doubt he could be strong enough to handle the emotional load of
thousands of excited people at one time without the proper mental shielding
to filter it appropriately. He was practically drowned in a sea of
emotions. The same thing must have happened at the mall.'

'I don't know if I can do this, Jean.' Warren replied as he rubs his hand
soothingly as Nick clings to him.

'You must, Warren.' Jean insisted. 'Nick is strong. Far stronger that
anything I had ever imagine. Without control, his empathy could reach out
to everyone around him with hardly an effort, and the effect could be
devastating. He could be a menace to both himself and everyone around
him. He MUST learn to control it.'

Warren looked down to the sobbing young man before him for a moment before
nodding his assent.

'I'll see what I can do.' Said Warren.

"Hank and I will wait outside. I'll try to persuade Jubilee and the others
to go out to the swimming pools or something so that they wouldn't barge in
while you two are talking. Please Warren. He trusts you. You're the only
one who can reach out to him. Come on, Hank.' Said Jean as she leads Hank
outside quietly and close the door.

Warren closed his eyes in weariness as he gently rocks the sobbing
Nick. Memories of the past assault him one after the other and
inadvertently, his own eyes began to well with tears as well. Why is it
that the world could be so cruel to those who are innocent?

************************************

"Nick?" Warren called gently.

His arm is still wrapped around Nick protectively. Warren couldn't ever
recall when he has ever been so protective to anyone as he is now with
Nick. Even when he was with Betsy, he was never this close or this
protective, and he was with Betsy longer than any of his other previous
relationship. Maybe it is because Betsy never really needs his
protection. Betsy is a skilled telepath - more skilled than Jean, but less
than the Professor - her psychic knife itself is as potent as any other
weapon, and has defeated other stronger mutants more than once. Betsy is
also a skilled ninja fighter, a talent that makes her more valuable to the
team than her telepathic skills. No, Betsy doesn't need his protection at
all. And to be honest, it was partly because of that Warren doesn't feel
too sad when Betsy decided that they should break up. Warren wanted to be
with someone whom he could take care of, and that is the last thing Betsy
needed. She is more than capable to take care of herself. By staying
together, Warren would only get in Betsy's way. He loves Betsy... but it's
better to let her go.

But Nick, now. Nick is different. He is a guy, so Warren knew he couldn't
be with him. Yet, Nick needs someone to be there for him right now. He is
young, innocent and hell! He has just had his whole perfect world crashes
down all around him by realizing that he is a mutant... the very thing the
whole world seems to hate and despise. Warren cannot abandon him now even
if he wanted to. Not only that being an X-men, he is obligated to help
every mutant in need, but he has really grown to like Nick. No, not in the
romantic kind of way; but not exactly in a friendship kind of way either,
but somewhere in between. The bottom line is Nick needs help and support
right now. And Warren is more than willing to be there for him. He couldn't
take care of Betsy, but he could take care of Nick.

"Nick?"

Nick sobs has lessen to an occasional sniffing, but the young man still
rest his head against his chest, his eyes staring dully to the
side. Gently, he strokes the hair at the back of Nick's head.

"You okay?" Warren asked softly.

Nick only blinked once, and one more tear slipped from his eye and rolled
down his cheek. Feeling Warren's eyes upon him, he turned to hide his face.

"Nick, remember what I told you earlier that it's okay to cry?" said Warren
gently as he stroke Nick's hair. "Please don't hide your face from me."

"I'm a..." Nick whispered against Warren chest but couldn't make himself
finishes the sentence.

"No, Nick. You're not a freak." Said Warren softly. "Please, don't think
like that. I'm a mutant too. Do you think of me as a freak?"

Slowly, he reached to his side and switch off his image inducers.

"I have blue skin and wings. Am I a freak to you?" Warren asked again. "Am
I a monster?"

"No!" Nick answered immediately. Slowly, Nick raised his head to look at
Warren. A stab of emotional pain rose within Warren's heart as he looks at
the lost look within Nick's eyes. "No... I..."

Gently, Warren wiped the trail of tear from Nick's cheek.

"I was scared when I found out I was a mutant too." Warren whispered
softly. "I lived in hiding and constant fear most of my young life, not for
myself, but for my father. Should some of his business partner find out
about me, all that my father has achieved is doomed."

"Then, my father died from an accident, and I am left alone to fend for
myself and to manage the Worthington Empire. I have to painfully strapped
my wings tightly behind my back and sit in the shadow everyday so that
people wouldn't notice my wings. Do you have any idea how tormenting it is
to do that every single day? One day, I have my father to protect me from
the world. Then, on the next day, I was forced to go out to fend for
myself, mutant or not, or lose everything my family has ever
achieved. Could you go through that, Nick?"

Nick remained silence.

"Then comes the Morlock Massacre, and the Marauders destroyed my old
wings." Tears sting Warren's eyes as memories after memories came back
crashing down into his eyes that he doesn't even see Nick jerking his head
up to stare at him in horror. "Harpoon impaled my wings with his disruptive
lance... and the rest of the team arrived too late. They took me to the
hospital. It could have been saved but another plot was working against
me. Hodge... once my trusted friend... turned out to be a mutant-hater. He
ordered my wings amputated, and then set off to make a grab for all my
money."

Tears are flowing down his cheek now and Nick's grip of his hand hardened.

"Then came Apocalypse's offer to restore my wings, in return that I serve
him as Death, one of his four Horseman. Half mad by the loss of my wings, I
accepted the offer only to realize my mistake at the last minutes. He
twisted my soul and my body, giving me wings of metal, this cursed blue
skin and rage... lots of rage. Freaks, Nick? No, your definition of
'freaks' is wrong. A freak is the thing that I became when Apocalypse was
finished with me."

"Before meeting Apocalypse, I used to think of myself as an angel of
hope. I would use my flying ability to help everyone in need and bringing
them hope. An angel of death was what Apocalypse called me when he gave me
the metal wings and the shadowed skin. A creature suited only to slay and
destroy. And I did! I did slay and destroyed. I nearly killed my
friends... Scott, Jean, Bobby and Hank. I was part of the cause of the
destruction of New York when Apocalypse's ship appeared over it. I was
responsible for causing the ship to go out of control. I was responsible
for every death that resulted in New York at the time, including Howie's
friend."

"Years later, by some miracles, I gained my wings back, Nick. I see it as a
second chance to repent for my sins. And I still am. The blue skin stays as
a constant reminder of my dark past, but my wings now remains as a constant
reminder of a new hope. Life goes on, Nick, whether you're a mutant or
not."

"You're lucky Nick. You don't have to hide anything like I have to. You may
be a mutant but you can still mingle with the rest of the people out there
and be yourself. I have to hide behind an illusion all the time as long as
the world out there hates mutant. But as much as I hate it, life still goes
on."

"I did not choose to be mutants. I didn't choose to have these wings. But I
am a mutant and I have these wings. No matter how unfair I thought life is
to make me be like this, life still goes on, and we have to live with
it. Don't consider your power as a curse, Nick. Consider is as a
gift. However you think of it, life goes on and you are what you are. You
must accept it and move on."

By the time Warren finished speaking, tears are flowing freely down his
cheek. Dimly, through the blur of his tear-filled eyes, he could see the
tears trailing out of Nick's eyes too, as he stared and listen to him in
silence. In silence they remain, holding and gazing at each other, both not
knowing what else to say.

"Does it hurt?" Nick asked in a small voice.

"What hurt?" Warren asked in return, his voice shook with emotion.

Nick reaches back to touch one of the wings, gently caressing the feathers.

"When they destroyed your wings?" Nick whispered. Deep inside, he couldn't
imagine what type of cruelty could possess anyone to harm such beauteous
creature like Warren. Before this, he thought the illusion Warren hides
behind is beautiful. But now, with the illusion gone, with his wings rising
majestically behind him, white and pure, it makes the man even more
beautiful - so beautiful that Nick's eyes watered every time he gaze upon
it. He couldn't imagine anyone could find it in their heart to damage such
beauty. He has blue skin, but that doesn't affect Warren's beauty at
all. In fact, it makes him more beautiful in Nick's eyes, almost exotic.

The pain in Warren's eyes flared even brighter upon remembering such time.

"It was... agony." Warren replied in a trembling voice. "It was... was..."

The rest of his words were lost in pained sobs as his emotion overwhelms
him. Try he could, he will never be able to run away from the
memories. Nights after nights, he would sometimes woke up screaming as the
memories twisted to become nightmares. His past will continues to haunt
him. There shall be no peace. Only pain and terror.

Nick could only watch in pain as he held the sobbing man quietly. Guilt
filled his conscience for triggering such painful memory and he should have
known better. Ashamed, he gently wrapped his hands around Warren and rocked
him gently. A moment of time stretches on as the two souls held each other,
one, a fallen angel with a dark past and a shattered soul, the other, an
innocent youth with a shattered life and an uncertain future.

"I'm sorry." Nick whispered at last when the sobs receded.

Warren could only watched him in silence as Nick gently wipe away the tears
from Warren's cheek.

"I... I didn't mean to bring back the memories... the pain..." Nick
stammered. "I... I didn't know. I..."

"I... I also didn't mean to..." Nick struggled on. "I didn't consider you
as a freak, Warren... nor does mutants in general..."

"And I... I'm sorry for... for what happened to you in the past..." he
continued. "I'm just... scared. I don't want people to hate me. I don't
want to lose my family and friends."

"Everybody is scared when facing something they don't understand for the
first time." Warren replied, "I was scared too the first time my wings
sprout from my back. But you have to face it and overcome it."

"When your... when your mutation... manifest itself... how was your... your
parent's reaction?" Nick asked hesitantly.

Warren looked at him sadly for a time before answering.

"My mother died when I was a little kid," He answered softly. "I barely
knew her except through the family videos and photos. My father raised me
as best he can. When my wings sprout out... dad was... dad freaked out at
first. But it takes some time before he accepted it fully."

Nick only listened in silence.

"What... what must I do?" Nick asked nervously.

"You need to learn to control you power, Nick. If you don't, it will
control you and you will end up hurting everyone around you, your friends
or even your family. You don't want that to happen, wouldn't you?"

"No!" Nick cried out in panic. "No, please God, no!"

Warren wrapped his arm around Nick again to calm him down.

"What must I do?" Nick whispered fearfully.

"Jean's knowledge in empathy is limited. She cannot help you much. But
Professor Xavier, back at Westchester has some experience in dealing with
empaths. He's a telepath too. Remember the school I told you about where I
taught? It's called Xavier's School for Gifted Youngster? Professor Xavier
is the friend I told you about. The school is actually a refuge for
mutants, Nick. Xavier's been teaching them on how to control their
abilities. He was the one who helped me improve my flying skills and he was
also the one who helped Hank and Jean with their abilities too. He can
teach you how to control your empathic ability."

Again, silence stretched.

"Howie will hate me... and maybe Brian and Kevin too." Nick whispered
again. "AJ will have no problem with it. I don't know about my family, but
I pray to God they will not hate me. I doubt Howie will let me stay within
the group. He will hate you even more once he finds out you're partially
responsible for Jessica's death, if not totally responsible. Oh God!
Everything is a mess."

"Do you have to tell them now?" asked Warren.

Nick thought for a moment before shaking his head quietly.

"Follow me back to Westchester first, and learn to control your abilities."
Said Warren. "Gather your strength and thoughts together. Think of what
you're going to say. Then when you're ready, you can tell them. And I
promise you; I will be at your side when that time comes. We'll do it
together."

Nick looked up at him and for the first time, Warren saw a glimmer of hope
in Nick's eyes.

"You promise?" Nick asked in a small voice. "I... I don't think I can do it
alone."

"Cross my heart." Warren gave him a small smile. "I will reveal to them
about myself too."

At last, Nick gave Warren a small smile in return before nodding.

"I'll follow you to Westchester."

*****************************************

Outside, in the sitting room, Jean sat on the couch watching the world
outside as she sipped her cup of coffee. Hank sat on the other side of the
room, reading his book. Taking another sip, she closed her eyes and sighed.

As strong as her mental shield can be, Jean doubt that even the strongest
telepath could shut out the strong emotional river of thoughts that seems
to be pouring out from Warren and Nick in the bedroom. Both Warren and Nick
are too upset to control their thoughts from radiating out into the
surroundings. Whether she wanted to or not, she could do nothing but listen
to the conversation that is going on in the room.

It is obvious that Warren is still being tormented by the Apocalypse
incident. Jean wished she could do something to help him, but
unfortunately, it is up to Warren to deal with this demon. Jean was more
than aware that Warren has had nightmares about it, and she did her best to
soothe him telepathically when the nightmares arise. But she could only do
so much. The pain and bitterness are still too intense for her to deal with
and the memories of the whole experience and ordeals he had to go through
are still too strong. Jean knew that Betsy, being a telepath, was well
aware of this too and Jean had hoped that if Betsy truly loved Warren, the
woman would help him. Instead of helping him, the woman simply left
him. Even now, Jean still hadn't forgiven her. Betsy admired strength and
Warren's weakness had simply disgusted her.

But now, hope flared within Jean's heart and slowly, she smiled. It is too
obvious to any telepath that Nick is in love with Warren, though he simply
wouldn't admit it to himself. Men! Love can slap them in their face and run
them down with a truck and they will still get up again, looking all 'cool'
and continue looking for it in the distance. Stubborn. That's what they all
are.

She saw it herself when she mentally scanned Nick's thought. She saw it
again as she listened to the conversation between the two. Nick could help
Warren in battling these demons of the past - these memories. Together,
they could support each other.

The problem is Nick is too scared to admit his feelings to himself, much
less to Warren and Warren is too dense to see it. In any case, both of them
have been leading a straight life too long to even think of the possibility
that they are attracted to each other... though Nick seems to have been
having several thoughts about it, but as she said before, Men!

Warren however, is made of sterner stuff. All 100% muscles and raging ocean
of testosterone and pure Y-chromosome in every aspect of the word. An
ex-playboy who used to sleep with different women of every type and race,
excluding animals and aliens, each night years ago before the whole
Apocalypse incident occurs. Hell! He even won the title
Mr. Super-Heterosexual from Bobby because of it! It'd involve a good bit of
work to convince him otherwise. Hmm... oh well, she might need to have a
little chat with Warren about it soon... if things turn out well and when
the time is right. She nodded slightly to herself. Warren needs someone to
care for him and Nick seems the right sort of person for Warren.

The door opened and Jean looked up and smiled as Warren and Nick walked
out. Warren smiled at Hank and her, and Jean smiled back.

"So, Nick, are you feeling any better? Have you decided to come to
Westchester?" said Hank.

Nick gave them a small shy smile and nodded. Jean beamed and gave him a
hug.

"I'm sure Scott, the professor and the rest will be thrilled to have you
there." She said.

"We'll leave tomorrow morning, right after seeing AJ and Howie off." Said
Warren.

"Well, I'm afraid Jean and I will be leaving tonight." Hank said
apologetically. "I was in the middle of my research when Warren called for
me and I'm anxious to get back to it."

"And I need to be with Scott and make up for our ruined anniversary date."
Jean smiled at Warren.

"The beach or the yacht, Jean. Your decision." Warren smiled back.

"We'll let you know." Jean replied. "But before returning back to
Westchester, I will explain to you a little bit about your abilities,
Nick. And I will also teach you what little I know about empathy. It is not
much, mind you. But I know some of the basics, and it'll be enough for you
to gain a little bit of control over it - enough to prevent you from
passing out should the emotional overload occurs again. When you are at
Westchester, the professor will teach you everything else to the last
details... that is if you want."

The loud voices at the front door alerted everyone that the others have
returned. Warren quickly reached out and switches the image inducers back
on at the same time as the front door open and Jubilee, AJ and Howie, all
soaked to the bone, burst in, laughing all the way.

***************************************