Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 19:19:21 PST From: Rachel Lewis <rachelelewis@hotmail.com> Subject: Escape 41-43 'Ello. This is going to be brief. If you wanna' read what I have to say, I'll have stuff at the end. If not, just read on and enjoy. Disclaimer: this in no way, shape, or form predicts that nick carter will get a cross tattooed on his left calf. I am not a psychic and I cannot predict the future. sorry. oh and all the regular stuff too...gay, backstreet boys, fiction...you know it all. Chapter 41 Allie looked down at her husband who was currently sleeping off his hangover on the couch. He was sprawled on his back, mouth open, snoring loudly. Nick had throw-up on his shirt and he smelled like a bottle of Jack Daniels. And his left leg had a suspicious looking bandage covering part of his calf. Brian handed Allie a cup of coffee and looked down at Nick. "At least he wasn't arrested." Allie didn't respond. She sipped her coffee and continued to look at the bandage. She wasn't stupid. Living with Marilyn and Twiggy for three years taught her what a tattoo bandage looked like. "So what do you think he got tattooed on his leg?" She asked. Brian shrugged. "Well there's only one way to find out." Allie handed Brian the coffee mug and leaned over. She unceremoniously ripped the bandage off, revealing the large Celtic cross covering most of his calf. Nick didn't even move when she ripped the bandage off. Brian flinched at the sound of the tape ripping free from Nick's flesh. "Interesting." Allie said dully. She dropped the bandage on Nick's chest and walked out of the living room. Allie took a glass out of the cabinet and began to run the cold water. Brian walked back into the kitchen. "Are you going to wake him?" "Yup." "You're not going to pour water on him are you?" Allie looked back at him. "Can you think of a better idea?" Her tone of voice was ice cold. Brian had never seen the 18-year old so angry before. Nick had really fucked up and boy was he going to hear about it when he woke up. "No I guess not." Brian put Allie's coffee on the kitchen table and followed her back out to the living room where Nick was still snoring away. Allie stood by Nick's head and sighed. She poured the ice cold water over his head. Nick's eyes flew open when the water first hit his face. His eyelids fluttered as he tried to blink as water kept coming down. He sat up, wiping his face off. "What are you doin'?" He mumbled. Allie walked away from him. Nick squinted and looked at Brian who was just standing there looking at him. "Mornin' Bri." Nick yawned and stretched his arms above his head. He accidentally brushed his leg against the couch. He hissed loudly, looking down at his leg. Nick's eyes bugged out. "What the fuck is that?" He asked Brian in shock. Brian shrugged. "It's looks like you got a tattoo yesterday Nick. Don't you remember?" Nick looked down at his leg. "I think I would remember getting a huge cross tattooed on my leg Bri. God how drunk was I?" Nick held his head carefully. Realization dawned on him. Allie was pissed. Oh shit. Brian could almost see the thought bubbles over Nick's head as he slowly realized that Allie was pissed at him. Brian watched as Nick struggled to get off the couch. He grabbed the corner for balance, looking back at Brian. "Is she in the kitchen?" Brian nodded. "Is coffee in the kitchen?" Brian nodded again. Nick nodded slowly. "I'm going to get in the shower while you attempt to talk your way out of this. My advice Nick, just shut up and listen. And apologize. A lot." Nick nodded again, swallowing carefully as he felt his stomach heave at the thought of food. He shuffled his way to the kitchen, regretting everything that happened yesterday. Nick vaguely remembered driving down the freeway with his upper body hanging out of the sunroof. That and drinking shots off a naked woman. Uh oh. He was going to have to call Travis later to make sure he didn't do anything too stupid. Well besides the tattoo. Allie clutched her coffee mug tightly as she listened to Nick make his way towards the kitchen. It was a slow process and he was making a lot of noise on the way. Nick stood in the doorway and looked at his wife. Her face was set in stone as she stared at her coffee. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun sitting low on the back of her head. She was wearing a sundress and her feet were bare. Nick couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked despite the anger in her face. "I'm gonna' get some coffee." Nick said softly making his way to the cabinet. "You know where everything is." Allie replied coldly. Nick shuddered at her tone of voice. Nick poured himself a cup of black coffee and sat down at the table. He took a sip, the coffee cutting through the fog in his brain slightly. "I'm sorry." He apologized into his coffee mug. "You're sorry? Great. That just makes the anger I'm feeling right now fly out the window. I'm sorry makes everything better." Allie said sarcastically. Even as hung over as he was, Nick could hear the sarcasm cutting through her words. He almost groaned out loud. "Can we talk about this later? When I'm not hung over?" "Oh we will." Nick looked relieved. "We're going to talk about it then. We're going to talk about it now. We're going to talk about this a lot." Nick's face fell and he took another sip of his coffee. Allie took her time, drinking her own coffee, letting Nick fear the worst. He squirmed in the seat as he waited for her to talk. "So you got a new tattoo?" Allie looked him directly in the eye. Nick dropped his gaze to his coffee. "Yeah I did." "Do you recall getting that tattoo? Because I had no idea you wanted another one." "Umm...I sort of remember agreeing to get one, but I don't really remember picking this one." Allie nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. "Well do you like it?" Nick shrugged. "I guess I'll learn to like it. If not I guess I can always get it removed." "Okay." Allie stood up and walked over to the sink. She poured the rest of the coffee down the drain before turning to look at Nick again. "If you ever do that again I will leave so fast your head will spin." She said quickly, her voice cutting through the silence. "Wha...what?" Nick asked, stuttering, he was so confused. "You heard me Nickolas. If you ever treat me like that again I will leave this house and walk away from this marriage. I am not a doormat." "I know your not a doormat. What did I do wrong?" Nick was genuinely confused. Getting threatened with divorce wasn't helping him figure it out either. "I told you I didn't like you going out with Travis, Tom, and Mark. What do you do? You go out with them." "You said I could go!" Nick shot back at her. "And you believed me! That's the amazing thing. Sometimes I wonder if you really are a blond bimbo like everyone says you are!" "You take that back Allison!" "Why? You act like you are brain dead sometimes. Maybe if you didn't spend so much time in front of that damn Nintendo, your brain would remember how to work." Nick stood up and walked over to the tiny girl. He towered over her. "Allison Carter, you are my wife and I love you. I'm sorry if you seem to think that I treated you wrong. I apologize. I really don't see any reason for you to be calling me names and treating me like shit. Because if you want to get nasty with this, I can get nasty." Allie stared at her husband's bloodshot eyes. He was being truthful, but she still didn't want to hear it. "Go get in the shower Nickolas. We'll discuss this more later. You have to go meet 'Nsync to rehearse in an hour." Allie turned her back to him and began to wash the coffee mugs. Nick stared at her back. He debated whether to lean over and kiss her or just leave her alone. Nick touched her shoulder, turning her around. "I love you Allie." He kissed her cheek softly and walked away. Allie watched him leave. "Damn him." She whispered to no one. Nick dried his hair and walked into the bedroom. He had his towel wrapped tightly around his waist. Allie stood there waiting for him. She had a glass in her hand. "Here." Nick took it, looking at the brownish liquid. "What is it?" "I gave Twiggy a call while you were in the shower. It'll help with the hangover." Nick sniffed it carefully. "Oh yuck. What's in it?" "A little of this. A little of that. It's a Twiggy recipe." "If I die it's all your fault." Nick grinned at her as he tilted the glass back and drank the foul liquid down. Nick began to cough violently when he was finished the drink. He sat on the ground, coughing and gagging. Allie rubbed his back. "Just breath Nick. Twiggy said it had a kick to it but it'll pass." Nick took in a huge gasping breath of air, calming the coughing spasms down. He just breathed slowly, trying to get control of his body again. "That stuff is horrid. I'd rather have a hangover." Allie let him go. She got up and walked over to the dresser, pulling out clothes for him. Allie tossed a pair of underwear and a wife beater on the bed. Going into another drawer she pulled out shorts, track pants, and a T-shirt. "There. Get dressed. Brian is leaving in five minutes and you are going with him. I'll see you when you get back tonight." Nick started to get up, his towel dropping in the process. Allie looked at him up and down before turning to leave. "Oh. One more thing." Allie said, turning to face her husband again. "No matter how much fun your having with Justin tonight, you will be coming home alone. Everyone else can go out, but you are coming home." "I understand." Nick said, pulling his underwear on. He shook his head, testing his balance out. Already his brain was clearing up. The pain was gone and he had no cottonmouth. That stuff really worked. "No Ben. Please just leave me alone for five minutes while I'm on the phone." Kevin said to his son. Ben pouted, but walked away. "Papa!" Ben shouted as soon as he was in the hallway. AJ groaned from the kitchen. Ben had been taking turns arguing with the two of them since he had woken up. He and Brielle wanted to come to the rehearsal with them. Both AJ and Kevin wanted them to go to his mom's for the day. "The answer is still no Benjamin!" AJ shouted back. "You're no fair!" Ben shouted. AJ could hear him running down the hall and slamming his bedroom door. Brielle looked at AJ with an innocent expression on her face. She took another bite of her eggs, chewing them carefully as she watched AJ's face. "I'm going to give him five more minutes before he tries again. What do you think Brielle?" AJ smiled weakly at her. "Less then five. He really wants to go watch you guys dance." AJ sat down with a cup of coffee next to the little girl. "What do you want to do?" Brielle shrugged. "To be honest, the idea of watching you guys dance all day is kind of boring to me. I'm cool with going to your mom's for the day. She said we were going to the beach." "Can you try and tell him that? He's not listening to me or Kevin." Brielle took a drink of orange juice. "Not to sound mean or anything AJ, but you and Kevin are his parents. He's not gonna' listen to you." "I figured that out the day I asked him to take out the trash." AJ grinned at her. Ben walked into the kitchen, shuffling his feet and pouting. "Do you want eggs or pancakes Ben?" AJ asked, getting up to fix him breakfast. "Can I have both Papa?" Ben asked in a weak little voice. AJ winked at Brielle. He walked over to Ben, pressing the back of his hand against Ben's forehead. "You feelin' okay Ben?" "I don't know Papa. I think I should stay with you and Dad today just in case." AJ shook his head. "No I think that would be a bad idea. If you are getting sick, I wouldn't want you to spread it to anyone else. You really should go with Grandma today." Ben groaned. "I'm feeling fine. I really want to go with you guys today. Please." AJ sat down next to his son. "Ben, Dad and I aren't saying no to be mean. It's not exactly exciting to watch us rehearse all day." "But Papa..." AJ held up his hand. "No Ben. You and Brielle are going to Grandma's today. I'm not going to say it again. If you ask me again, you will be grounded and Brielle will go home." Kevin walked into the kitchen, stopping when he saw AJ and Ben glaring at each other. Brielle was just watching in surprise. "Okay everyone. Just chill out." Kevin said as he reached for a piece of toast. AJ looked over at him. "No one is being grounded and no one is sending Brielle home. Ben and Brielle are going to spend the day with Denise and Dan. I don't want to hear anymore arguments okay Ben." Kevin looked at him sternly. Ben nodded, letting his face fall. "If you guys are good, we will bring you with us for the final rehearsal after we've all made our mistakes and won't look like idiots." "Really Dad?" Ben's face lit up. "Really. Now eat your breakfast. We gotta' go pick up Howie, then drop the two of you off at Denise's." "You're joking right Nick?" Howie asked in disbelief. Nick shook his head. "Let me see it." Howie said. Nick bent down and removed the bandage, wincing slightly as he pulled his skin. Howie whistled softly as he looked at the tattoo on Nick's calf. "No wonder she's pissed. I mean besides the leave her alone and go out with your friends drinking all day thing. That tattoo is hideous." "Gee thanks Howie. I didn't really think it was hideous. I figured I would get used to it eventually." "If you can get used to that I'll be proud of you." Howie shook his head as he and Nick walked down the hall behind Brian, AJ, and Kevin. "Fatima!" Kevin called out as he saw her walking down another hall. Kevin turned to AJ. "I'm going to go ask her about Ben. I'll meet you guys there." "Okay Kev." AJ said, watching as Kevin took off after Fatima. "Kevin. Give me a hug." Fatima hugged the taller man tightly. Kevin had always been one of her favorites. He listened pretty well and had great stage presence. "How's your son?" She hooked her arm with his and they walked down the hall together. "Actually he's the reason I wanted to catch you before we started." Fatima raised her eyebrows at him. "Really?" "He's been talking non-stop about how great it was to dance for you. Is there any way you would consider taking him on as a student?" Fatima sighed, looking at him with a stern expression. "I don't usually take on students Kevin." "But surely..." Fatima held up her hand, stopping Kevin. "Ben is a natural dancer. I haven't seen anyone that good since I first started working with Justin. He's got a good teacher now. Mirabella will teach him well." Kevin wanted to convince her somehow. "Fatima just think about it. He really wants this." She stopped walking and looked at Kevin again. "Are you willing to go through the crap I'm going to put him through? You've been with me for years Kevin. I'm not easy." "AJ and I are willing to do whatever we need to do to help Ben with this. We've both been where he is. If we didn't have someone helping us we never would have made it to where we are." Fatima nodded. "All right. I'll take Ben on as a student for now." Kevin hugged Fatima happily. "Oh thank you." "Don't thank me yet. Where is he?" "He's at AJ's mom's. Why?" Fatima shook her head. "Get his ass here now. He's gonna' learn this dance too. Actually he's gonna' help teach the ten of you the dance." "What?" Kevin asked, slightly taken aback by that. "Your son can learn a dance perfectly in about half an hour. I know the ten of you can't. I want him here to work with you guys one on one." "Don't touch me Joey." JC said between clenched teeth when Joey put his arm around JC's waist. "God grow up. I thought we decided to at least act like friends." Joey said back to him without moving his lips. "Just drop it. I don't want to talk about this right now. I don't want to do this in front of the guys okay." "Fine." "Fine." Joey walked away from JC heading right over to where Daniel was sitting partially because he knew it would piss JC off even more. "Hey Daniel." Joey sat down next to him. Darren immediately appeared before Daniel could answer. "Daniel doesn't want to talk to you Joey. Please leave him alone." Darren glared at Joey angrily. Daniel just dropped his head in shame. "Shut the fuck up Darren. I think Daniel can speak for himself." Joey glared right back at him. Darren put his hand on Daniel's shoulder, squeezing it hard. "Tell him Daniel. Tell him you don't want to talk to him." "I don't want to talk to you Joey." Daniel said, trying not to let him voice show how much Darren was hurting him at the moment. Joey sighed, knowing that Daniel was only saying that because Darren was right there. "Fine. I'll leave you two alone. I just don't want to find anymore bruises on his body tomorrow Darren. Understand." "I thought you didn't look at his body Joey." Darren said smugly. Gritting his teeth, Joey walked away before he punched Darren even though Darren deserved a taste of his own medicine. "All right everyone just chill out. The Boys will be here in a few minutes. Let's not act like we hate each other in front of our friends." Lance said from his spot on the floor next to Chris. "Four more days." Chris said under his breath to Lance. "I know." Lance said back to him. There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Justin shouted from across the room. Brian poked his head inside with a grin on his face. "Hey kids. Look who I found. It's 'Nsync." "Yay! 'Nsync." AJ said as he poked his head in as well. Lance grinned as he shook his head. "Get your asses in here you jokers." "See I told ya' Lance missed us." Brian said poking AJ in the side as they walked in. "So where's everyone else at?" Lance asked as he walked over to them. He hugged AJ tightly in greeting. He shook Brian's hand. "Well Nick and Howie will be here in a few. They are discussing Nick's stupidity yesterday and how he should apologize to Allie." "Uh oh. Trouble in paradise already?" AJ shook his head. "Nope. Just Nick being an idiot. It's all good." "Where's Kevin at?" JC asked as he put his hand on Lance's shoulder. "Kevin ran into Fatima on the way in. They'll be here in a moment. Our son wants to take lessons with her and Kevin is discussing the possibility of it." AJ said as he pulled JC into a hug. "Did you bring your son? We all can't wait to meet him." Chris chimed in. AJ shook his head. "No, sorry. My mom took them today for a few hours." "Them? I thought you only had one son." Joey asked, trying to get into the conversation. "Mom's got Ben, and his best friend Brielle who is down for a bit. Also she took Luna for the day so Howie didn't have to worry about her." AJ walked over to Chris with a smile. "Hey super dad. Aren't you going to give me a hug?" Chris grinned, grabbing AJ tightly. The two of them had been talking at least once a week lately. Nick and Howie walked into the room. "So I hear there is this little band that needs some singers and dancers?" Justin jumped up and ran up to Nick, hugging him. Nick hugged him back just as tightly. "Missed me Curly?" Nick grinned. Justin just hugged him tighter. "We need to talk Nicky." Justin whispered. Nick nodded. "Sure." Justin took him into the corner of the room. Howie smiled happily at everyone, scanning the room for his wife. It was just a faint hope that she was going to be here, but he never knew. "Hey guys, how's everyone doin'?" He asked, throwing his arm over Brian's shoulder. "Not bad Howard. How's everything with you?" JC asked. "Pretty good Joshua." "How's Luna doing?" Chris asked. Howie grinned. "She's big and bad. My mom has her today. They're playing with Playdoh." "Lucky girl. I wish I was playing with Playdoh instead of this." JC said with a grin. "Nicky, everything has gone crazy the past few weeks. It's nuts." Justin said softly, keeping an eye on everyone else. "What's wrong?" Nick asked. He had never seen Justin act this strange. "Lets see. Chris is leaving the band. Darren is beating Daniel, who is leaving his band after the tour and moving in with me. JC and Joey won't even talk to each other. Jean-Michel is yelling at everyone. And I've been sleeping with Britney." Nick blinked rapidly as his hung over brain attempted to process everything. "Let's start at the end. You're sleeping with Britney?" Justin nodded. "It just kind of happened. She called me when she was released from prison. We got to talking. She's changed a lot. And we went out. Somehow we ended up sleeping together." "You aren't dating her are you?" Justin shook his head. "No way. We talked about it a few nights ago. We're going to be friends instead." "Then stop having sex with her now." "Why? It's been working so far." Nick rubbed his palms against his eyes. "Just trust me. Don't have sex with her anymore. Look what happened between me and Christina." A few years ago, Nick and Christina had been really close friends. Then one day things went too far and they ended up sleeping with each other. Instead of stopping after that one time, they continued the relationship but based it all on sex. As Christina called it, they were 'friends with benefits.' The benefits turned very sour when Nick became more serious about Allie. Christina had ended up turning very bitter and they never got things back to the way they were. "All right. I'll think about it." Kevin walked into the room with Fatima right behind him. He grabbed AJ and pulled him aside. "She'll take him. Go call your mother." "Why?" "She wants him to learn what we're going to learn today." "What about Brielle?" Kevin shrugged. "I hate to say it, but I think she's going to have to stay with your mom and Luna." "All right. I'll be right back." AJ leaned in and gave Kevin a peck on the cheek. "Be nice to Lance." Kevin nodded. "I will." AJ grabbed his cell phone from Kevin's pocket and walked out into the hall. Kevin looked around the room, his gaze falling on Joey who was sitting by himself. "Hey Joey. Mind if I join you?" Joey smiled. "Of course not. How are you Kev?" "Tired. 10 year-olds are a handful." Kevin stretched and yawned. "Are you enjoying it though?" Joey asked. "I love being a father. Wait 'till you meet Ben. He's a great kid." "And Chris is leaving the band?" Nick asked, finally getting to the beginning of the list. Justin nodded. "He's leaving 'Nsync to be a full-time father. With Dani being pregnant again, he decided he wanted to be at home with his kids." "Danielle is pregnant again?" Nick asked in shock. Justin nodded. "I thought you knew." "No. I didn't. I gotta' congratulate Chris." Nick ran his hands through his hair. Justin nodded, looking out at his band mates. "Everyone is acting like nothing is wrong. Lance told us to pretend everything was fine in front of you guys. It's so insane." Nick squeezed Justin's shoulder. "What you just told me is a lot to digest. I think maybe Lance was right. We don't need to know all of this. If JC or Joey wants to tell any of us what's going on, that's there choice. Just like you wanted to tell me about Britney. I doubt you would go tell AJ that." Justin nodded. "I guess it will be easier if we just act like we can stand each other right now." "So which one is Darren?" Justin looked over at Daniel and Darren. "The one with dark hair. Why?" "I think he's going to be meeting my fist after Friday's concert. You don't fucking hit people." "Nick don't. It's not going to help anything." Justin said, as he looked at Daniel. "Can I at least have Marilyn threaten him?" Nick asked Justin seriously. Justin's eyes never strayed from Daniel's sad face. "Yeah. Get Marilyn after him." "Hey where's Jean at Lance?" Howie asked him. Lance sighed. "Actually he's with Britney. They are discussing what can be done in the next few months so she can record an album." "What? Your still working with her?" Brian said incredulously. Lance nodded. "She's changed a lot in the past few months. We're giving her one more chance to do another album." Fatima clapped her hands loudly. "All right kids. Can I have your attention please?" The group shut up and looked over at Fatima. AJ slipped back into the room. Fatima saw him out of the corner of her eye. "AJ, when's Ben getting here?" "In about an hour. My mom just sat them down to lunch. She'll bring him over when they're done eating." Fatima nodded. "No problem. It'll take him about a third of the time to learn the dance anyway." Everyone exchanged glances except for Kevin and AJ. They knew what was going on. Fatima would choose to share if she wanted to. They knew better then to explain something that she was in control of. "I assume that the five of you have been practicing the song. I know that Jean-Michel sent you all copies of the music and the lyrics. Is that correct?" "Yeah we got 'em." Kevin answered for all of them. Fatima nodded. "Good, then you're all mine today. Hope all of you are up for a fun afternoon. Darren, Daniel, you are free to go. I don't need you today." Darren nodded, gesturing to Daniel to get up. Justin shot Fatima a look which she caught. She quickly came up with a plan to keep Daniel with them. "Actually Daniel can you stay please? I need someone to take notes for me." Darren's eyes narrowed. He nodded slightly towards Daniel. "Sure Fatima. I can stay." Daniel shot a subtle thank you over to Justin, who just smiled slightly. Darren walked out of the room. The guys from 'Nsync let out a collective sigh. Darren made them all so tense. "Okay. Let's get to work. Strip to your workout clothes and meet me onstage." Nick pulled his track pants off, folding them carefully. He folded his T-shirt and put it on top. Justin began to stretch. He was only wearing a pair of shorts. "What's with the bandage on your leg Nicky?" Justin asked. "I'll tell you all about it later. I was a little stupid yesterday." The guys all filed out of the room, wearing shorts and wife beaters. Brian, Justin, and Howie all opted to go with just shorts. They knew what a work out with Fatima was like. It was best to be in light clothing if at all possible. Chris walked down the hall behind Joey, pulling his hair into a ponytail on top of his head. "Hey Chris!" Nick shouted from behind him. "What Nick?" "You got an extra ponytail holder?" "Nope. Sorry." "Damn." Justin tossed Nick the bandana hanging from his back pocket. "What am I supposed to do with this?" "Hold your hair back with it moron." "Uh okay." Nick tried to tie his hair back. Justin grabbed it out of Nick's hand and quickly tied Nick's hair back under the bandana. "Jesus Nick. Don't you ever wash your hair?" Justin asked, laughing as he scampered away from Nick. "Like your one to talk Curly. Get back here." Nick and Justin pushed past the others, running down the hall. Nick jumped on Justin's back, slowing him down. They fell onto the ground into a heap. Kevin stepped over them and looked down. "Come on you two. My 10 year-old son doesn't even act this immature." "Yes he does Kev. Just yesterday he was chasing you around the house and tackled you." AJ said with a grin. "Well yeah. But that was only because Brielle had me by the ankles. He couldn't take me down." Kevin said quickly, not wanting to seem like a wuss. "Get in here now!" Fatima shouted loudly, her voice carrying like it always did. Nick and Justin got up, following the rest of the guys onto the stage. It was time to get to work. Justin groaned as he collapsed on the edge of the stage. Howie sat next to him, resting his head on his knees. "How much longer Howie?" "Too long." Justin rolled over and looked at the other groups. Fatima had paired everyone up as she saw fit. Joey and AJ were both trying to catch a cat nap while they could. Brian and Chris were stretching on the other side of the stage. JC and Nick were practicing the dance off to the side. Kevin and Lance were in front of Fatima now. It wasn't going well. "Christ Kevin! Would you just flip him? I know you can. Just do it." Kevin gritted his teeth and grabbed Lance's wrists again. "Ready?" He whispered. Lance nodded, gripping Kevin's wrists tightly. "Go!" Fatima shouted. Lance planted his feet on Kevin's knees and Kevin flipped him up. Lance got about halfway over Kevin's head before Kevin let go. Lance tumbled onto the ground again. Fatima stamped her feet. "No! No! No! Kevin get over here. Someone make sure Lance is okay." Kevin walked over to Fatima hanging his head. "I'm sorry." "What's going on Kevin? I know you can do this." Kevin shrugged. Fatima looked at him sternly. "Do you know why I paired the two of you up? I know you don't really like him Kevin but it wasn't because of that." "Why did you pair us up?" "Because you are a great dancer and Lance is not a great dancer. He can do the moves and stay in rhythm, but he doesn't really have any flair onstage. If the two of you work together well, he may look better then he usually does." Fatima paused, watching as Lance and Justin talked. "Just hold onto his wrists a little longer and you'll get him over." Kevin nodded. "I'll try." "Brian! Chris! Get over here!" Fatima growled at them. Kevin shuffled off to join Lance. "Sorry Lance." He offered him his hand, helping him up. "It's cool Kev. We getting a break now?" Kevin nodded. "Can I talk to you?" Lance nodded as he stretched his back out. Justin yawned. "I'm gonna' go try and nap for a few with Howie. I'm gonna' try and see if sleeping with my dance partner will help us work better together." Kevin looked at Lance for a moment. Maybe he should try and talk to him. Maybe if they finally made up they could get this finished with. It was time to stop being so stubborn anyway. "Let's go sit backstage." Kevin said. Lance followed him. Kevin stretched out on the ground, not caring what he looked like. Lance sat next to him, twisting his back so it would crack. "I'm sorry I keep dropping you. I guess I'm rustier then I thought." Lance nodded. "It really is okay Kevin. I know that you five don't usually do as much flipping as we do." "Yeah. We haven't actually worked flips into our routines in about three years." Kevin rolled onto his side and faced Lance. "Look Lance. About what happened between us." Lance interrupted him. "I broke my promise. I still haven't forgiven myself." "Lance you did the right thing. I'm sorry I have been so stubborn towards you about it. Can we put it behind us?" Lance smiled at Kevin. "Only if you accept my apology." "Deal." Kevin shook Lance's hand firmly. "Okay, so maybe you can tell me what I'm doing wrong without yelling at me. Fatima tends to get a little pissed when I screw up this much." Lance grinned. "Sure. Stand up." "No. It's more like this Uncle Nick." Ben stopped Nick mid-dance and showed him the right steps. Nick and JC watched carefully. "So instead of twirling at the same time as JC, I'm a beat after him?" Nick asked Ben. "Yup. Dance with me JC." Ben pointed to JC, gesturing for him to step forward. JC shot a look at Nick who just shrugged. Nick knew that Ben was a fantastically talented dancer, but he had no clue how quickly he could memorize dances. Fatima had taken him aside and showed him the steps so he could help out the others. "Count the beat for me Uncle Nick." Ben asked, setting himself into position with his hands resting on the middle of JC's back. Actually his hands were supposed to be on JC's shoulders, but he couldn't reach. Nick counted the beat. Ben and JC began to dance on the fourth count. Nick watched Ben carefully, trying to figure out where he was messing up. There it was. "Okay. I see it now. Let me try." Nick took his place behind JC, resting his hands on JC's shoulders. Ben clapped his hands. Nick and JC began to dance as Ben watched carefully. Nick and JC hit every beat, not messing up a step. "Perfect. Can I have a soda Uncle Nick?" Ben asked as he began to dance around the tired Nick. Nick was bent over, trying to catch his breath. He looked up at Ben. "Knock yourself out kiddo. Just don't let your dad catch ya'." Ben bounced away from Nick and JC, who both collapsed on the ground happily. "That kid is amazing." JC said in awe. "I've never seen him except when he's dancing with Brian. Ben can dance circles around him." "You too Nick." Nick nodded. "It's sad. He puts us all to shame. I honestly think that Justin's the only one who could keep up with him." Brian and Chris collapsed next to Nick and JC. "If I have to do one more flip I think I'm going to scream." Brian groaned. Chris flexed his back. "At least your not the one who's doing the tossing. You're heavier then you look." Brian grinned. "Well I guess I'm the lucky one then. At least you're not droppin' me like Kevin's droppin' Lance." "She's got the two of them back up too." Nick said, gesturing towards the front. Fatima had her hands on her hips as she stared at Kevin and Lance. "All right you two. If you can hit the flip three times I will let you go for the day. I gotta' work with AJ and Joey on their flips." Kevin nodded. "We can do it Fatima. I promise." "Fine. Don't let me down Kevin." Kevin grabbed Lance's wrists tightly. "You ready Lance?" Lance nodded. "Remember. Hold on until I say now." Lance said. Kevin nodded. Lance tightened his grip around Kevin's wrists. "Go!" Lance planted his feet on Kevin's knees and Kevin flipped him up and back. Lance flew over Kevin's head. "Now!" Lance shouted. Kevin let go of Lance's wrists, stepping forward. Lance landed on his feet and began to dance. "Stop!" Fatima shouted at them. She walked forward to where Kevin and Lance were standing. "Good. Now do it from the running start like you will while dancing." Kevin nodded, licking his lips. Lance looked at him, winking. Kevin grinned. Lance backed up, getting into position where he would be while dancing. "Go!" Kevin bent his knees slightly. Lance ran forward, grabbing Kevin's wrists and running up Kevin's knees. Kevin flung him up and back, flipping him over his head. "Now!" Kevin let go and Lance landed on his feet. They both continued on with the dance, not missing a beat. "All right. Good. Do it one more time and the two of you can leave for the day. Someone wake Joey and AJ for me." Brian grinned. "Oh let me." Brian walked over to them while Kevin and Lance did the flip one more time behind him. He sat down next to AJ and began to stroke the back of his neck. "Mmm." AJ moaned softly. Brian leaned over and poked Joey, who jumped. Brian put his finger to his lips and shushed Joey who just nodded. Brian ran his hand down AJ's chest, which was bare since AJ had taken his shirt off at some point during the rehearsal. AJ moaned again, turning into Brian's hand and body. AJ's eyes opened slowly, expecting to be in his own bed and to have Kevin doing that to him. "AHHH!!! BRIAN!!!" AJ shouted. He jumped up quickly. Everyone began to laugh at AJ as he attempted to hide the tent in his shorts. "That wasn't funny Brian." "On the contrary. I think it was very funny." Brian grinned as he sat on the ground, gazing up at AJ. "Joey! AJ! Get over here!" Fatima shouted. Joey shook his head and hauled himself off the ground. He and AJ went over to Fatima. The guys were all gathered to the side where Nick and JC had been rehearsing. Well except for Howie and Justin who were asleep. Justin was using Howie as a pillow. And Howie was using Busta as a pillow. Busta seemed fine with it all. Ben rejoined them, holding a can of Pepsi. He saw his father and grinned guiltily. "You're lucky I'm exhausted young man. Enjoy your contraband soda." Kevin held his arms out to Ben, who happily climbed into his arms. JC watched as Joey flipped AJ up into the air. His eyes followed the fluid movements of Joey's body. Joey's eyes looked over at him, catching JC's eyes. They both locked eyes for a moment. Joey faltered in the dance, causing Fatima to stop them. JC looked away. He stood up quickly. "I gotta' go." He ran off the stage, leaving the others watching him go. JC couldn't stand watching Joey anymore. He wanted him back so badly he just had to get away. "What's wrong with JC Dad?" Ben whispered into Kevin's ear. "I don't know." Kevin answered, looking at Lance with concern. "It'll be okay. Let's just watch Joey and AJ." Lance said, turning the attention away from JC. Chapter 42 "You know what?" Kevin asked AJ as they laid on the couch in the dressing room. "What Boo?" "I'm hurting right now." Kevin said. AJ sat up and looked down at Kevin. "Awww...poor baby. Want me to kiss it and make it better?" Kevin grinned at him. "I think we should lock the door before you kiss it and make it better." AJ leaned over and kissed Kevin, letting his tongue explore his mouth for a moment before pulling back. He got up and walked over to the door, locking it from the inside. "That'll at least slow them down a bit." AJ said as he climbed back on top of Kevin, letting his hands slowly trail down Kevin's chest and abs. AJ leaned over and kissed Kevin's chin. Kevin began to laugh. "You missed my lips baby." "Oops. Better try again." AJ kissed Kevin's nose. "Damn missed again." AJ said grinning. Kevin grabbed AJ's head and pulled him in for a kiss. Their lips met, crushing against each other. AJ ground his hips into Kevin, causing him to let out a slight moan. There was a noise as someone tried to open the door. Soft cursing could be heard. AJ and Kevin began to laugh quietly as they heard Brian complain to Howie that someone had locked the door. "Just knock." Howie said, rolling his eyes at Brian. "You knock." Brian said back to him. "Brian I'm not the one who really wants to go inside. I'm all for sitting by the stage and watching the guys perform." "Oh would ya' both grow up. I'll knock." Nick reached in between them and knocked loudly on the door. AJ pulled his hand out from under Kevin's shirt. "Do we let 'em in?" He whispered, licking Kevin's lower lip softly. "As much as I want to say no, we both know that they will stand out there for awhile. Especially if they figure out it's us in here." AJ nodded, lingering as he kissed Kevin softly again. He climbed off of Kevin, straightening his clothes before heading for the door. Kevin sat up and grabbed a pillow, resting it on his lap. AJ looked down and noticed that he had a very obvious problem as well. Shrugging, he flashed a smile at Kevin and unlocked the door. Howie, Brian, and Nick all looked shocked as the door flew open to reveal AJ standing there. "Hey guys. What are you doing here?" AJ asked. "Wondering why the dressing room door was locked." Brian looked past AJ at Kevin sitting on the couch with a pillow on his lap. He took a quick look down at AJ and began to blush. "I...ah...see why. Sorry." Brian said guiltily. AJ waved him off. "It's okay. It's not like we've never been interrupted by the three of you before. You comin' in or are you just goin' to stand there?" "I guess we'll come in. Unless you guys want to be alone for a bit or somethin'?" Brian mumbled. "Nah. The kids are staying at Mom's tonight. So Kev and I get the house to ourselves. Feel free to interrupt now, but if you do it later so help me God." AJ joked with him. "Is someone coming down to get us or do we have to get ourselves ready?" Nick asked as he sat on the couch next to Kevin. "Jean-Michel is getting us right?" AJ said as he sat down on Kevin's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. Brian shook his head. "No. Jean is doing something with Daniel. No one would specify. I just know he's not getting us." "Should we go upstairs then?" Howie asked, looking at the watch around his wrist. "It's about 10:15 now." "Oh I think we need to get upstairs." Kevin said getting up. AJ jumped off his lap just in time. Howie, Brian, and Nick jumped into action, heading out of the room again. AJ squeezed Kevin's hand tightly. "You gonna' be ok?" He asked. Kevin shrugged. "We'll find out when I get out there." The closer the five of them got to the stage, the louder the music to 'Bye Bye Bye' got. They crowded around the wings, watching as the guys got down and performed an awesome version of the song. They hit their final positions and the lights came down. Breathing heavily, Lance, Chris, JC, and Justin ran offstage. They had a costume change to do before the final number with the Backstreet Boys. The lights came back up, causing the guys to turn back around in a panic. "What the fuck?" They saw Joey standing center stage holding a microphone. Nick came up to Justin with a concerned expression. "What's going on?" Justin shook his head. "I have no idea." The two bands gathered around the wings staring at Joey in surprise. Kevin wrapped his arms around AJ and rested his head on his shoulder as they all listened. "Hi everybody! You guys having fun tonight?" The crowd roared at him. "I'm gonna' be honest with all of you. That was supposed to be the end." Screams of disappointment could be heard throughout the crowd. Joey held up his hand, trying to quiet them. "I need to do something before we go first." He began to walk around onstage. "I made a big mistake a few weeks ago and really hurt the one I love. I've tried everything to get them back, but with no success." The crowd gave a collective Awww. Joey nodded his head in thanks. "This is my last chance to let that person know how I feel about them. So if you guys would indulge me for a few minutes, I would like to sing a song for you. It's not one of ours so sorry. It's called 'I Try' by Macy Gray." The crowd roared their approval. JC grabbed Justin's arm, trying to hold back his tears. Justin pulled him into a hug. Joey looked over at everyone standing in the wings. He caught JC's eyes peeking over Justin's shoulder. "I love you Blondie." He said into the microphone, using his nickname for JC. Joey signaled to the band to start playing. The lights softened, leaving only a spot on Joey as he began to sing. JC began to sob into Justin's shoulder as soon as the music started. Justin rubbed his back softly, turning so JC could watch as Joey sang to him. "Games, changes and fears When will they go from here When will they stop I believe that fate has brought us here And we should be together But we're not I play it off but I'm dreaming of you I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin. I try to say goodbye and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it, it's clear My world crumbles when you are not near" Joey looked over at JC again, seeing him crying on Justin's shoulder, but watching his every move at the same time. "I may appear to be free But I'm just a prisoner of your love I may seem alright and smile when you leave But my smiles are just a front I play it off but I'm dreamin of you I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin I try to say goodbye and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it it's clear My world crumbles when you are not near Goodbye and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it it's clear My world crumbles when you are not near" Joey's voice trembled slightly as he sang that line. "Here is my confession May I be your possession I need your touch Your love kisses and such With all my might I try But this I can't deny I play it off but I'm dreaming of you I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin I try to say goodbye and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it it's clear My world crumbles when you are not near" The lights came down, leaving a now crying Joey in the dark. The crowd roared loudly, clapping. JC let go of Justin and ran to Joey. He pulled him into a hug onstage in the dark. The whole world disappeared as they hugged each other. Joey sobbed on his shoulder while JC did the same to him. Lance walked out and guided them offstage. The two of them never let go of the other person, just enjoying the feeling of holding each other like they had wanted to for days. "I'm so sorry Josh." Joey whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry too Joey." JC whispered back. Lance was getting nervous. They had to be back onstage in a moment and Joey and JC weren't letting go of each other and they had to change into their costumes too. "Do something Lance." Justin whispered as he watched the two of them. "I don't want to. Someone stall for a moment." Kevin looked up. "Let me." Everyone turned to look at him in surprise. "Are you sure Kev?" AJ asked him softly. "Yeah I'm sure." Kevin smiled at all of them with confidence. He wanted to go onstage himself. "Monica." Chris grabbed her arm. "Kevin is going to go stall for a moment. When he is sitting on the stool, have Ameena turn the lights on him." Monica nodded and gave the directions to Ameena up in the lighting booth. Kevin kissed AJ softly and walked onstage, sitting down on the stool holding a microphone. His heart was beating a mile a minute and he felt a little faint. It was time to do this. He nodded towards Monica. "Now." Monica whispered into the headset. The lights began to slowly come on, revealing Kevin sitting there. The crowd went nuts when they realized who it was. He heard his name being screamed by people throughout the crowd. Kevin's heart soared as he heard the positive reaction to his appearance. He smiled happily and began to talk to them. "Well hello to all of you too!" Kevin waved to them. They screamed some more. "So is everyone having fun?" The screams got louder. "I'm gonna' take that as a yes." "Well the guys from 'Nsync asked me to stop by and say hello tonight. I decided to take them up on the offer since it's been awhile since I've been onstage. I missed being up here." "So I guess I just have to come back don't I?" Kevin glanced over to the side of the stage. He saw AJ hand Joey and JC their sunglasses. Monica signaled him to wrap it up. "It's been great talking to all of you. I want to introduce some friends of mine before I go." Kevin stood up, the spot light following him. The stool was quickly removed, leaving the stage clear for the dance number they were all doing. "Y'all know the guys from 'Nsync." They all ran out holding hands and waving to the crowd. "And y'all know the guys from my band the Backstreet Boys." The crowd screamed as the four guys from the BSB ran out to join everyone onstage. "But do y'all know what we can do together?" The lights came down and the crowd screamed. The guys got into position with their dance partners. Lance handed Kevin his sunglasses. Kevin grinned at him. JC began to sing the first line of 'The River' acapella. "Tonight everything feels right girl. Take my hand and jump on in with me." The music began and the lights came up, revealing all 10 guys onstage together. They all tossed their sunglasses into the screaming crowd. They began to dance to the music the band was playing, all of them adjusting quickly to dancing together. Justin grabbed Howie's hands and Howie's tossed him over his head. Nick did the same with JC on the other side of the stage. Nick and JC began to sing, staring at each other. "We're gonna' find that place that place for you and me where we can be free" All ten of them joined in on the chorus. "Find the river 'cause tonight everything feels right find the river where I fell in love with you" AJ, Joey, Brian, and Chris moved to the front as the other six danced in the back. They all began to sing together, their voices meshing while Chris' flew above the other three. "The moon is shining and I can see you clearly i wanna be here with you forever falling in love....you" Everyone joined in on the you, leading into the chorus again. Brian grabbed Chris' hands and Chris flipped him up. Joey flipped AJ up at the same time. They both hit perfectly and they all sang the chorus as they danced. "Find the river 'cause tonight everything feels right find the river where I fell in love with you." The guys began to reach the portion of the dance where they all flipped at the same time. Kevin and Lance exchanged glances as they all moved into position. The band hit the final note and stopped. The five guys who were flipping ran towards their partners. A moment later Lance, Brian, Justin, AJ, and JC were flying through the air. The band began to play once again as the crowd screamed. Lance winked at Kevin who was grinning with relief. They all began to sing again, taking the last verse all together. "take my hand and jump on in with me let the water hide the rest of the world just you and me forever" Howie and Chris let their voice's fly over the other 8 as they sang forever. "Find the river 'cause tonight everything feels right find the river where I fell in love with you." Kevin, JC, AJ, Nick, and Justin stepped forward. The band stopped playing and the lights dimmed, leaving them in a spotlight. "Find the river where I fell in love with you." The lights came down for the last time and the crowd went even crazier, screaming for all of them. All ten of them caught their breath as the crowd screamed. Chris looked at them nervously. This was it. Kevin walked over to him. "We're gonna' let you do this without the five of us okay?" Chris shook his head. "No. I want you guys here. Please." Chris pleaded with him. "If that's what you want Chris, we're here for you." "Thanks." Chris signaled to Monica to raise the lights again. The lights slowly came up, revealing all ten of them onstage again. They all waved to the crowd. The screams went on for ten minutes before the crowd could be quieted down. Chris finally got them to be quiet. "Shut up okay everyone!" He said laughingly. The crowd quieted to a dull roar. "It's been a great night. We all had a lot of fun for our final concert on this tour. We want to thank the Backstreet Boys for joining us." The crowd screamed as the Boys waved to them. Chris took a deep breath, waiting for them to quiet down again. "As great as it was, it was bittersweet for me. Tonight was my final concert with 'Nsync." The crowd began to scream again, protesting what Chris was saying. Lance squeezed Chris' shoulder tightly. Chris smiled at him before continuing on. "It's been a great ride. I'm goin' to miss all of you! Have a great night and the rest of these guys will see all of you on the next tour." Chris waved again. The rest of the guys waved as well as the lights came down for the final time. They all filed off stage, exhausted from the emotions from the evening. "Wow." Howie said softly. Brian nodded his agreement. Nothing more could be said besides wow. The evening had just been incredible. "So we're all going out tonight right?" Justin asked, turning to look at everyone. "Of course we are. Do you think we would miss the chance to party with the five of you?" AJ said as he jumped on Kevin's back. "Ouch! You're getting heavy Alex." AJ leaned over Kevin's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "That's a good thing remember." AJ laughed. "I know. I'm just used to carrying a 10 year old around. Not a 24 year old." "Quit yakking you two. We gotta get changed." Lance said as he brushed past them. Only he and Justin were still in the hall. Chris, Joey, and JC were already changing. "Not me. I like this outfit." Kevin said. AJ rolled his eyes. "You would." "Hey just remember whose carryin' you right now." Kevin threatened. "Sorry Kevy my big, strong man." AJ gave him a wet kiss on the cheek, laughing as he did it. Nick winked at Justin who was about to walk into the dressing room and turned around to face Kevin. "So how much weight can you lift Kev?" "I don't know. Why Nick?" Kevin got his answer a moment later when Nick jumped on him. Kevin's reaction was to grab him. AJ held onto his back for dear life while Nick wrapped his arms around Kevin. Kevin struggled for a moment before tipping forwards and dropping Nick. He and AJ landed on top of Nick on the ground. "Ouch!" AJ shouted as his knee was twisted under Kevin's body. Nick squirmed underneath the two of them. Kevin rolled over off of AJ's knee. AJ clutched his knee grimacing in pain. Kevin reached him a moment later. "Are you okay AJ?" He rubbed AJ's back softly. Nick looked worried. Everyone else had pretty much stopped in the hallway, waiting to see what was wrong. "No. I think I tore something. It really hurts." AJ said between clenched teeth. "I'm so sorry AJ." Nick said softly. Kevin turned to him. "You've gotta' think before you do stuff like that. Sometimes you are such a child." "I'm sorry Kev." Nick said again. "Save it Nick." Kevin said as he picked AJ up. "Will someone tell Denise that we went to the hospital?" "I'll come with you guys Kevin." Brian said as he helped Nick up. "It was an accident Brian." Nick said softly. "I know. And Kevin knows too. He's just worried about AJ." Howie took Nick by the arm and they went into the dressing room with 'Nsync. Brian ran in, grabbed his keys and Kevin and AJ's bags. "Let's go." Brian led the way with Kevin still carrying AJ. So much for going out. Chapter 43 "Here." Brian handed Kevin a cup of coffee. Kevin took it gratefully, sipping it with care. "You don't have to stay Brian." Kevin said softly. He was exhausted. "Yeah I do. I drove remember." Brian grinned as he sat back down next to Kevin. He was rewarded with a small smile from Kevin. They had been sitting in this generic waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. The doctor had taken one look at AJ's knee and suggested that they just bypass the x-ray and get him an MRI immediately. If he was to hazard a guess it looked like AJ had probably torn a ligament when Kevin landed on his knee. Kevin had wanted to go in with AJ, but the doctor had told him it was best if AJ was alone. AJ told him it would be okay. They had immediately given him some pain medication, so at the moment he felt fine. So now Kevin and Brian were taking up space in the waiting room, looking like someone had died. Brian had been trying to keep the mood light. Truthfully this wasn't a really huge thing. It wasn't as if AJ's injury was life-threatening. Kevin knew that. He was just tired. The last thing he wanted to do was spend the night at a hospital. "Hey Brian?" "Yeah Kev?" "So when are you going to tell me about Beth? I've been waiting patiently." Kevin looked over at him with a concerned expression on his face. Brian's face was chalk white and he had stopped breathing. "Wha..what?" Brian stuttered out. "Are you going to tell me about Beth? You've talked to everyone else but me. I'm a little hurt. You're my cousin. I thought we were close." Brian began to breath again. "Kev, you're one of my best friends. I guess I just thought the subject was a little too close for you." "Brian you can tell me anything." Brian nodded, looking down at his coffee. "I guess you do deserve the truth. But before I start, promise me that you won't yell." Kevin looked at him strangely. "I don't like to promise that Brian. Are you going to say something that's going to make me want to yell?" Brian shrugged trying to appear unconcerned. "You might. Are you sure you want to talk about this now?" Kevin looked around the waiting room. "We're the only ones here. AJ's going to be down at radiology for at least another hour. There are no kids or pets to bother us. I think now is a good time." Brian sighed, knowing Kevin was right. They never really got any time alone. Now was probably the best time. "I always enjoyed being around Beth while you were dating her. She was so much fun and just so easy to talk to. I really missed that after the two of you broke up. Especially since you moved back to Orlando. I lost the two people I could really talk to. So I went looking for her." Kevin nodded. He sipped his coffee as he listened to Brian speak. "I found her in Louisville. It wasn't easy, but when I did, I got a little surprise." Brian looked over at Kevin. He appeared calm. "This was probably about four and a half months after you left. She couldn't hide it from me." Kevin's face slowly broke with realization. "Oh my God." Kevin whispered. "You knew all along." Brian reached for Kevin's hand. He was surprised when Kevin didn't pull away. "Yes I did." "Brian why didn't you tell me I had a son?" Kevin's voice was filled with hurt, but not a trace of anger could be heard. "Beth made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone she was pregnant. She even tried to deny that the baby was yours, but she gave that up pretty quickly." Kevin nodded. "I'm proud of you standing by a friend for as long as you did. I just wish you had stood by your family like that." "Kevin I had my own reasons for not telling you." Brian whispered. If he was going to tell Kevin, he was going to tell him everything. "I'm pretty sure it had something to do with me being gay, right?" Kevin looked directly at Brian, challenging him to say no. "Right." Brian whispered. "It was a stupid reason. I know that now, but then, it seemed like the only logical thing." "You didn't want me raising a child, especially a son, because I was gay. It would have been a bad influence to raise a baby in such a deviant household." Brian nodded, ashamed of himself, of how he used to be. "You aren't the only person to think that. My mom told me the same thing the first time I told her that AJ and I were considering adoption." "But I shouldn't have thought that. You are so great with Ben. I wish you could have been with him from the beginning." Kevin shook his head. "I don't." Brian looked at him in surprise. "Why not?" "I wasn't ready to be a father. If Beth had told me, I would have been there for Ben every step of the way. But she didn't. Yes I missed out on a lot of his life, but I doubt it would have been good for him to have me in his life then. I couldn't be there for him the way I can be now." "I really didn't expect you to react like this Kevin. I thought you would kill me." Brian said, relieved that it hadn't happened. "Well I'm tired right now and I don't have the energy to kill you even if I wanted to. Besides I'm not that mad at you. Can I ask you one thing though?" "Anything." Brian said. "Did you watch over him for me? Did you make sure he was okay, especially when Beth got sick?" Brian nodded. "I talked to Beth at least once a week, most of the time more then that. I always made sure that Ben had everything he needed." "You paid for the lessons didn't you?" Kevin asked him. "Yeah. I guess it was my little tribute to your dad. If it hadn't been for him I never would have been allowed to take lessons. When Beth told me that Ben wanted to and she couldn't afford it, I immediately insisted that I would pay for them." "Thank you Brian." Kevin said holding his arms out to his cousin. Hesitantly, Brian hugged Kevin, still amazed at how well he was taking this. "So do you want to tell me about you and her?" Kevin said softly as he held Brian in his arms. Brian slumped slightly. "I guess you would be the best person to talk to. You were in love with her too." "I never stopped loving her. I just wasn't in love with her." Kevin said, letting Brian go. "Over the years of talking to her, I fell in love with her. I did my best to forget about those feelings, burying myself in other relationships. Leighanne, Shelley. All they were was a poor substitute for the woman I really loved, but couldn't have." "Why couldn't you have her?" Kevin asked him. "I didn't want to hurt you. I had never met Ben before he moved in with you, but I had seen pictures of him. He was identical to you from the very beginning. It would have raised suspicions. And it would have led to questions none of us wanted to answer." Brian paused. "So I put you in front of my own feelings. After awhile I was putting you and AJ in front of my feelings. And finally I was putting the future of the group in front of my feelings." "You never should have had to do that. I'm sorry Brian." Kevin apologized, feeling bad about what Brian had to do. "You did the same thing Kevin. You put the group in front of your feelings. You and AJ hid your relationship for so long to protect us. I just did the same thing." Kevin squeezed Brian's shoulder gently. "From now on, put yourself first. You deserve a little happiness in your life Brian." Brian smiled at his cousin. "Thanks Kev. I'll try and do that." He yawned, clapping his hand over his mouth looking guilty as Kevin let out a yawn as well. "What do you say we take advantage of these * lovely * couches? I'm beat." Kevin said as he stretched his arms above his head, yawning again. "Sounds like a plan to me." Brian let out another yawn, getting up to lay down on the couch opposite Kevin. They both were quiet as they tried to fall asleep. "Brian?" "Hmm?" "Thanks for being honest with me. It's means a lot to me." "I wish I was honest sooner." Brian's voice was filled with regret. Kevin opened his eyes and looked at his cousin. "Brian I'm just happy you were honest. You had your reasons. And we can't change those now. I'm not going to dwell on the past. So you shouldn't either." "Okay Kev." Brian answered quietly. "Now lets try and get some sleep until AJ's finished." Brian nodded, shutting his eyes again. Kevin lay on his back, keeping his eyes tightly shut as he thought about his conversation with Brian. Part of him had known that Brian knew more then he had been letting on about Ben. He didn't have any idea about how much Brian knew. He listened closely to Brian's breathing. Once it became steady, Kevin opened his eyes and looked over at him. Brian was sleeping. Kevin got up and left the room. He walked over to the nurses station. He hated to bother them again, but he really wanted to talk to AJ. "Excuse me." Kevin said softly, interrupting the conversation between the two nurses who were there. "Mr. Richardson I've told you before. We can't let you in the MRI room while it's being done." "I know. Is there anyway I can talk to him while he's in there? I won't go in." The one nurse who had just chastised him rolled her eyes. The other nurse glared at her. "Come with me Mr. Richardson. I'll see what we can do for you." She came around and took Kevin's arm, guiding him around the corner. "I'm very sorry about that. She's a stickler for the rules. I'll get you in there if you want. Or I can definitely get you in the imaging room so you can talk to him on the mic." "Thank you so much. I'm sorry. I don't know your name." "It's Lindsay. But you can call me Nurse Ratchet." She flashed a grin at him. "I don't think that name applies to you. Maybe your friend back there, but not you." "Oh she's not my friend. I detest working with Claire, but I love this shift, so I have to deal with her." Kevin smiled at her. "I'm sorry." "Oh don't you worry yourself. I'm used to it. I generally tune her out. So what happened to bring you here this late at night?" "We were goofing around after a show. AJ was on my back. Our friend Nick thought it would be funny to see if I could carry them both and he jumped in my arms. I couldn't and I landed on AJ's knee when we came down." Lindsay grimaced. "Ouch. So do they think he tore something or is it just a sprain?" Kevin shrugged. "They wanted him to have an MRI right away because it looked like it was probably a tear." "Surgery then. Has he ever hurt his knees before?" Kevin shook his head. "Nothing serious. We've all twisted our knees strangely while dancing, but never really badly." "Then he'll get through the surgery no problem." Kevin nodded as they walked through the halls. "By the way since I'm probably never going to see you again, congratulations. I know it's a little premature, but I know you'll make it to the alter." Kevin smiled at her. "Thank you Lindsay. I'll be sure to pass the congratulations on to AJ as well." They stood in front of the MRI room. "Wait here for a second." Lindsay slipped through the doors. Kevin waited patiently. She came back out a moment later. "Come on. You are more then welcome to come chat with him. Apparently he's been talking everyone's ears off. They'll welcome the break in the conversation." Kevin smiled at her again. "Thank you Lindsay. If Brian wakes up and gets panicked, just let him know that I'm down here." "No problem. Have a good chat." She left, leaving Kevin in the small room with two technicians. AJ was in the MRI in the adjoining room. One of the technicians handed Kevin a headset. He sat down, putting it on his head. "Hey sexy. Havin' fun in your silver tube?" "Kev?" AJ's voice sounded far away. "Who else would be callin' ya' sexy? Unless there's another man I don't know about." "Just Nicky." "Ah Nicky doesn't count." Kevin smiled. "Truthfully though, how ya' doin' in there?" "I'm okay. I can't wait to get out of here. Where's Brian at?" "Sleeping in the waiting room. He's bushed so I told him to lay down and get some shut eye." "You should be doing that too." "I know. I wanted to talk to you though." Kevin's voice was soft, trying to sound upbeat. AJ, even though he was drugged and in the middle of an MRI, knew better. "What's wrong Kevin?" "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Just wanted to hear your voice." Kevin said with false cheerfulness. "Don't lie to the guy in the silver tube. 'Cause he's going to be antsy to move once he gets out of here. You may get a beat down." Kevin smiled at AJ through the glass even though he couldn't see him. "Fine I'll tell ya' the truth." "Good. You've finally learned." "Brian and I finally talked about Beth and Ben." Kevin said softly. He could hear the sharp intake of air on AJ's end. "What did you talk about?" "Everything. Did he tell you everything AJ?" "Well depends. What do you consider everything?" "He's known about Ben since before he was born. And he was madly in love with Beth, but refused to even try to have a relationship with her for all of our sakes." "I guess our definition of everything is the same then. Are you okay?" "Sort of. I'm not mad at him. He had his reasons not to tell me and so did Beth. Honestly, I wouldn't have been a good father to Ben if I had been there from the beginning. It may have been for the best this way." "Is he okay?" "I didn't know how much he loved her. I'm so sorry he never got the chance to be with her." "Kevin honey?" "Yeah Alex?" "When did you get so mature about stuff? I mean you've always been mature, but you've also always blown up when something major happens. Especially when it's something Brian's done to you." Kevin was quiet, thinking about his answer. "I've got a son now. And I've got a husband-to-be. I need to be rational for the two of you. Besides what's done is done." "Kevin when I get out of this thing, I am going to give you the biggest hug. I love you sweetie." "I love you too. Now just lay back and relax. You're almost finished. Only another fifteen minutes." "Sing to me Kevin." Kevin smiled. "What do you want me to sing?" "Bad Touch." Kevin could almost here AJ grinning. He began to laugh. "I am not singing that song." "Aww...please. Just the chorus then." "AJ there are other people in the room." "Then ask 'em if it's okay." Kevin turned to them, blushing. "Do you guys mind if I sing for a moment?" They shook their heads. "Okay, I'll sing you the chorus, but that's it." "Thanks Kevy." Kevin took a deep breath before singing. "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel." "Was that good enough?" AJ was laughing on the other end. "I love ya Kev." "Anytime AJ. You wanna' hear something else? Or do ya' just wanna' laugh more?" "Sing whatever you want to sing. I want to hear your voice." "Okay let me think." Kevin grinned evilly. "Here we go AJ." Ohhhhhhh! Friends say it's fine Friends say it's good Everybody says it's just like Robin Hood I walk like a rat Crawl like a cat Sting like a bee Babe I'm gonna be your man And it's plain to see You were meant for me Yeah, I'm your toy Your 20th Century boy Friends say it's fine Friends say it's good Everybody says it's just like Robin Hood Fly like a plane Drive like a car Ball like a hound Babe I'm gonna be your man And it's plain to see You were meant for me Yeah, I'm your toy Your 20th Century boy 20th Century boy, I wanna be your toy Friends say it's fine Friends say it's good Everybody says it's just like Robin Hood I walk like a rat Crawl like a cat Sting like a bee Babe I'm gonna be your man And it's plain to see You were meant for me Yeah I'm your toy Your 20th Century boy 20th Century boy, I wanna be your toy AJ laughed hysterically from the MRI tube. "So I guess you liked my rendition of '20th Century Boy'?" Kevin asked him coyly. "You are such a pisser Kevin. I can't believe you sang that song for me!" AJ was still giggling at the fact Kevin knew the song, much less sang it for him. "Anything to make my baby laugh." "Well you certainly succeeded." AJ said to him happily. The technician tapped Kevin on the shoulder. "We're finished in here. Do you want to come in with me when I get him out?" Kevin nodded. "I'm going to go for a moment AJ, but I'll be right back." "Okay. I'll be here." Kevin took the headset off and followed the technician into the room. He pressed the button and AJ slowly came out of the MRI machine, still strapped to the bed. "Kevin!" AJ exclaimed. He sat up and held his arms out. Kevin hugged him tightly as his knee was unstrapped. "I love you." "So I guess I don't get any nookie tonight since your hurt?" Kevin asked jokingly. "Nah. I wasn't going to give you any play tonight anyway." Author's notes: I decided to do this afterwards so if you really wanted to hear what I have to say, you could choose to read it. If not you didn't have to. Hopefully it worked for ya'. 20th Century Boy was written by Marc Bolan. One of my personal favs. Hope you guys enjoyed it. I know I do. I am leaving Sunday April 2nd for Miami and I won't be back until April 9th. My field training for my new job is down there. Aw damn. I have to leave rainy, yucky Philadelphia to go to Miami for a week. Someone please, trade places with me so I can stay here. Okay what I'm really trying to say is I won't be posting for about a week and a half unless by some miracle I get stuff finished before then. Hey it could happen. Enough of my fake sarcasm. It's not working. So today is Tuesday March 28, 2000. I have been writing this story since August 26, 1999. That's a long time folks. Now I'm telling you this now to prepare you all. Both 'Choices' and 'Escape' will be ending soon. 'Choices' will be right after the MTV Video Music Awards and 'Escape' will end with Kevin and AJ's wedding. There should be two more postings of each before the end. You can email me with your feelings about it, but I'm not changing my mind. Sorry. I'm going to miss everyone too. I love these guys! They have been a part of my life for 7 months now. That's longer then my ex-boyfriend was! He only made it 5. Well feel free to email me with your comments, complaints, naked pictures of kevin or aj or well any of them, fun things to do in miami, fun things to do on a plane with co-workers, fun things (revenge-type fun things) to do to my ex-boyfriend, and your wishes hopes and dreams.