Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 21:24:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: Chris Engelke <christopher_bass@yahoo.com>
Subject: Everything I Own, part 4

DISCLAIMER: Same as usual.  If you are underage or do not like a gay
romance story, then please leave.  Otherwise, enjoy the story and please
e-mail me with comments.

I want to personally thank all of the wonderful people who have e-mailed me
with their compliments.  This is the first story I posted and I am quite
sensitive about it.  I have received some wonderful e-mails from people and
I thank all of them.  I need more feedback on what you do like and don't
like.

I especially want to thank a few people.  First of all, I want to thank the
authors of N Sync Love:Lance & JC and Rob & Lance.  Both stories are what I
strive for in my work.  Next I want to thank Laugherboy, Mortis, and Tonny.
Everyone's words, especially yours, meant a lot to me and really made me
think.  The person I want to thank most, however, is Phil, author of After
N Sync.  It really is a wonderful story and I think it was a brilliant idea
to show what the group would be like in the future.

Oh, and to Dave (aka Ryan), give Lance my e-mail addy! ROTF!!

If you like my story, come to my homepage for it.  It is a works in
progress.  The address is http://www.geocities.com/christopher_bass.

"Everything I Own"
by Chris <christopher_bass@yahoo.com>

CHAPTER FOUR

Lance was in Justin's room, calling for an ambulance to come and take
Justin to the hospital to try to find out what was wrong.  Joey, JC, and
Chris run into Justin's room, scared by what Mark told them what was wrong.

Meanwhile, Mark was in the hall, pacing and crying.  All of a sudden, Joel
walks up to Mark.  Joel doesn't know anything of what is going on or that
Mark is crying.

"Hey, Mark! What's up?  I tried calling your hotel room and the clerk there
told me you were here.  What's going on?  Did you change hotels on me
without saying anything?"  Joel asked.  Mark turns around and sees Joel,
who sees that Mark is crying.  He is very concerned for his friend.  "Mark!
What's wrong? Speak to me!  Tell me what happened!"

Mark looked at Joel, not totally aware of the situation around him.  He
slowly got more aware.  "Joel?  Is that you?"

Joel replied with compassion, "Yes, Mark.  It's me."  He hugged Mark.
"What's wrong?  Why are you crying?  Why are you here?"

Mark realized that he needed to talk to someone that wasn't in 'N Sync and
Joel was the perfect person to talk to.  Over the last couple of years,
Mark has told Joel a lot of his secrets, things he hasn't told too many
people.  He knew Joel could be trusted with this secret, which is one of
the biggest of his life.  "Joel, can you go in my room there?"  He pointed
to the room he was going to start sharing with Lance.  "I will be back in a
second."

Joel walked into Lance and Mark's room and closed the door.  Mark went into
Justin's room to check him out.  JC, Joey, and Chris were freaking out,
while Lance stayed very calm.  Mark was worried about Lance.  He didn't
know why he was so calm.  "How is he?"

Lance replied, "Still the same.  I called the ambulance.  I heard the
talking in the hallways.  Who were you talking to?"

Mark answered, "His name is Joel.  He's a good friend of mine who I have
known for a couple of years.  I have a lot to tell you.  I don't know why
he's here or how he knew I was here.  He just saw me crying in the hall and
asked me what was wrong."

JC asked Mark, "What did you tell him?"

"Nothing yet, but I can't lie to him?"

Lance was scared.  "How much are you going to tell him?"

"That's up to you guys.  He's going to find out that I was on Rosie's show
and sang with you.  There's no way or no reason to hide that.  I won't tell
him that we love each other, Lance, if that is what you want.  I do want to
tell him the rest."

"Can he be trusted knowing we are together?"

"Lance, I trust him with my life.  I owe him my life.  He's done more for
me than everyone else I had ever met in my whole life combined.  I love him
deeply."

Lance asked the rest of the guys, "What do y'all think?"

Joey replied, "Do you trust Mark?  I do.  If he says this friend is OK,
that is enough for me.  Mark, you can tell Joel about me. "

JC and Chris agreed.

Lance looked at Mark and said, "OK.  You can tell him what you want."

"Are you sure?" Mark asked Lance.  "I don't have to tell him if you don't
want to."

Lance replied, "It really is OK, Mark.  If there comes a time when you need
advice, it's good to be able to ask someone who is impartial.  The guys are
my best friends and now they are your friends too."

Mark said, "Thanks, Lance.  Thanks, Joey.  I don't really have a best
friend, but Joel comes the closest there is for me.  Let me talk to him and
I will meet you at the hospital.  Call me on my cell phone and let me know
where you are going."  Mark gave the number to Lance and goes out of the
room, in time to see the paramedics rush off the elevator.  Mark pointed
out the room to them and goes towards where Joel is.  He saw that Joel has
the door opened and sees the paramedics.  "Let's go inside, Joel.  I have a
lot to tell you."

Joel and Mark go back inside Mark's room and Mark closes the door.  "Why
are paramedics on this floor?  Did someone die?"

Mark began to cry again, very worried about Justin's condition.  He
couldn't believe that he was so concerned about someone he hasn't really
met yet or talked with.  However, he knew how much the rest of the guys
loved Justin, so that was good enough for him.  Joel hugs him and tries to
comfort him until Mark stops crying.  "Like I said, Joel, I have a lot to
say.  Let me start at the beginning.  As you know, I was in the audience of
Rosie O'Donnell's show.  The taping was today."  He saw a copy of the tape
that Lance requested earlier.  "I was able to get a copy of the tape.
Because it was right after the show, it's a little rough.  At least that's
what I was told.  Anyway, let me show you the beginning of the show to show
you what happened."

He put the tape into the VCR that was in the room and pressed the play
button.  The tape shows the introduction to the show, including Mark
introducing Rosie.  Joel was in shock.  "Oh my God!  You made it on camera!
That is so cool!"  Joel congratulated Chris.  He contunued to watch the
tape.  He saw Rosie talking to Mark and was even happier for him.

"Listen to this part.  You will get a kick out of this part."

>From the tape...

	"Well, Rosie, I am a huge fan of N Sync." The audience cheered even
louder than before after I said that.  I continued, "Like I said, I love N
Sync and have since their first single was released in the States.  I have
their CDs, videos, and even a couple of posters.  I even sing along with
their CDs."

	Rosie beamed, "You sing, too?  I love to sing!  What's your
favorite N Sync song?"

	I replied, "I love all of their songs, but my favorite by far has
to be 'Everything I Own'.  I grew up listening to the original version by
Bread because my mom loved that group.  It was a wonderful song.  N Sync's
version is so much better to me because I can feel the emotions of the
guys.  Also, the guys are incredible singers."

	Rosie replied, "Mark, why don't you sing a little bit from that
song."

Back in Mark's room, Joel's eyes were bugged out.  "You SANG on Rosie's
show?  I am so proud of you!"  he said.

Mark admitted, "Yes, I did.  I owe that to you.  You gave me confidence in
myself.  If it weren't for you, I'd never have sang even a note.  I would
have chickened out for sure."

Joel replied, "Thanks, but you did it on your own.  Now let's listen to
you."  He listened to Mark singing "Everything I Own".  He was very
impressed.  When the song was over, Joel stood up and gave Mark a standing
ovation.

"Funny, Joel!"  Mark laughed.

"I'm serious, Mark!  You were great!"

"It gets better."  While Mark and Joel are talking, there is a commotion in
the hallway.  Mark knows it is the paramedics taking Justin away.

"How does it get better?"

"You heard who I said the guests were, right?"

"Yes, Sean Hayes, Justin Kirk, and 'N Sync.  Yes, I know how much you love
'N Sync and Lance Bass in particular."

"Right.  Well, I didn't know it then, but Justin is sick with a pretty bad
case of the flu."

"Was he able to sing with them?"

"No.  He stayed backstage for awhile then Chris got someone to bring him
back to his hotel room.  There was no way he could sing with them."

"So, they sang without them?  Just the four of them?"

"Yes and no.  Let me show you what happened."  He fast fowarded the tape a
little bit and got to the part of the show where Lance asked Mark to sing
with them.

	"Which one did you decide on, " Rosie asked.

	"We ended up deciding to find someone to sing with us.  Well,
actually, we would ask someone to sing with us.  Can I go into the
audience?"  Lance replied.  Rosie agreed, and the audience screamed loud
enough to rock the house.  Lance got up and walked towards the audience.
"We heard a most excellent singer today that we all believe will blend in
well with the rest of us."

	Mark was shocked.  "There is no way in hell he means me!  I am
nowhere near as good enough to sing with 'N Sync, if only for two songs on
one show!" He says to himself.

	Lance keeps walking towards the audience.  "It's also a great thing
to do for such a dedicated fan of ours.  I have to agree with something JC
said backstage.  We really do have the best fans in the world!"  There is
another scream from the audience.  Lance is starting to wonder if the
audience will scream at anything that he says.  "We were all very impressed
at how good he sang 'Everything I Own'.  It's always been one of my
favorite songs on our album."

	Mark gets so shocked at that comment that he almost
hyperventilated.  "Oh my God!  He does mean me!  Lance wants me to sing
with them!  I cannot believe this is happening!"  Mark got more and more
shocked as Lance came towards him.  When Lance got to him and sat down on
the aisle next to him, Mark started to cry.

	Lance started to speak, but stopped once he saw that Mark was
indeed crying.  Mark had his head down on his hands.  Lance has seen many
fans freak out, screaming and crying pretty badly.  Sometimes he had a hard
time believing that people could be that excited to see him.  Those times,
he always said something like, "Lance, you know it's not for you.  They are
screaming for the rest of the guys."  He looked back at Mark and felt bad
for him.  "Mark, are you OK?"  he said to Mark.

	Mark stops crying and looks up at Lance.  He sees him smile and he
smiles back.  However, he still cannot believe what is happening.  He asks,
"You really want me to sing with you?  All of you do?"

Back in the hotel room...

"Oh my God!  You sang with 'N Sync?"  Joel asked Mark.

"Yes.  I did."

"Oh, God!  I am so happy for you!"  Joel hugs Mark again.

"It gets even better than that, if possible."

"How can it get better than that?"

"I need to say a few things before I say the rest.  I hope you don't think
I don't trust you or anything.  I do trust you with my life.  I am only
saying this to protect the other person."

"I know you trust me.  Anything you tell me stays with me.  I will not tell
anyone."

"I know you wouldn't.  I hope you're not pissed at me for asking you."

"Of course I'm not.  How can I be?  What's so big that you even had to ask
me?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"I most definitely do.  I fell in love with David at first sight."

"Before I tell you, let me play you the part of the tape where I sang with
them."  Mark plays the part of the tape where he sings "Music of My Heart"
with the guys.  After the song is over, he stopped the tape and looked at
Joel with uneasiness.

"You know," Joel started to say.  "I have wanted to hear your music for a
long time.  I just never thought that when I finally did hear it, it would
be under these circumstances."

Mark was heartbroken.  Joel's opinion mattered very much to Mark.  "I was
that bad," he asked Joel.

"God, no!  You were fabulous!  I am so proud for you!  I am so sorry if I
made you think I hated it!"  He hugged Mark again tightly.

"No.  I'm sorry.  I am way to sensitive.  I really hate that.  I have
changed so much the last two years, but I just cannot change this one
thing!"

"Mark, it's a good quality to have.  You just can't let it take over your
life.  Anyway, I know what your big news is."

Mark was surprised.  "How can you know what it is?"

Joel replied, "It's Lance, right?"

"What?"

"You're in love with Lance."

Mark couldn't believe Joel guessed right.  "But...how...I..."

"I know you , Mark.  Also, I saw how you looked at him when you were
singing with him.  He loves you too, right?"  Mark started to cry again.
Joel was immediately sorry he asked that last question.  "I'm sorry, Mark!
I just assumed he loved you, too.  You will find someone else.  I know it!"

"Joel, Lance is the only one for me.  I know that.  He is my soul mate."

"Mark, you know you can't think that.  He's straight.  You will find
someone else who will love you back, someone who is gay."

Mark knew that he had to tell Joel the full truth.  "Actually, that's one
of the things I need you to keep secret."

Joel was now intrigued.  "What is it?  I really want to know now."

"Joel, he's gay.  Can we talk more about this on the way to the hospital?
I really need to check up on Justin."

"So, you do know what was going on before?"  Joel asked.

"Yes I do.  Justin was initially at the studio, sleeping, but Chris got one
of her workers to bring him back to his hotel room.  When we got back to
the hotel, the guys wanted to shower and rest after the long day, so I told
them I would check on Justin for them."  Mark started to tell Joel what
happened.  He was fighting hard not to cry.  "I got in there and he seemed
really still.  At first I thought he was just sleeping, so I checked his
temperature and he seemed way too hot for someone with the flu.  So, I
checked him further and saw he wasn't sleeping, but unconscious.  I yelled
for Lance to get in here, which he did.  He called 911 while I got the rest
of the guys in there.  While JC, Joey, and Chris got into Justin's room, I
stayed outside and basically fell apart, and that is when you saw me."

"Wow!  You really have been through a lot today!"  Joel told Mark.

"I know.  That's not all of it either."  Mark started to say, but his cell
phone rang.  He answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Love!"  It was Lance, of course.

Mark decided to joke around with Lance.  "Love?  Hmmm... Who is that?
John?  Steve?  AJ?"  He was trying to keep a straight face while saying
that, which was hard.

Lance was cracking up.  "Funny, Mark!"  He paused for a second then
realized what one of the names Mark said was.  "AJ?"

"Boy, you finally got that, huh?"  Mark laughed harder.  He stopped
laughing pretty fast when he realized why Lance was calling.  "How is
Justin?"

Lance calmed down considerably also.  "He's in a coma."  He started to cry
again.

Mark was in deep shock.  "WHAT?  Where are you?"

Lance replied, "We're at Mercy."

"OK.  We'll be right there."

"We?  Is Joel with you?"  Lance asked.

Mark replied, "Yes."

Lance was hesitant to ask the next question.  "Did you tell him about us?"

Mark replied, "Not yet, but he knows most everything."

"He knows I am..."  Lance couldn't finish the sentence for fear that
someone in the hospital would hear him.

"Yes.  He will tell nobody.  I trust him."

"Then I trust him, too.  Bring him please.  I want to meet the person that
changed your life so greatly."

"Thank you.  I love you."

"I love you more!"  Lance said.

Mark hung up his phone.  "Let's go!"

Joel replied, "We'll take my rental car."

Mark and Joel run out of the hotel and get into Joel's car.  They speed
towards the hospital.

Mark was very worried about Justin.  "He has got to be OK!  I thought it
was only a minor case of the flu!"

"He'll be OK.  So, tell me more about Lance."

"What about him?"  Mark asked.

"He's really gay?"  Joel asked in reply.

"Yes."

Joel had a hard time believing Mark.  "You're sure about that?"

Mark replied, "Yes.  He had a brief affair with JC, but both of them
realized that they didn't want to risk their friendship."

Joel was totally amazed.  "JC is gay too?"

Mark was over the shock that three-fifths of 'N Sync weren't totally
straight.  "Yes.  Joey is bisexual also."

Joel realized that the topic had strayed and went back to what he wanted to
know.  "Let's get back to Lance.  How do you know he's gay?"

Mark started to explain.  "I was freaking out pretty bad when I realized I
was in love with him.  I never believed in love at first sight.  I thought
he was straight.  I told him I was gay, he didn't react too well and I ran
off.  Joey went to talk to Lance and JC went to look for me.  When he found
me, we talked and he convinced me to tell Lance how I felt about him.  We
went back and found Joey and Lance.  I didn't tell him how I felt then."

"Why didn't you?"  Joel asked.

"I showed him instead."  was Mark's reply.

"You showed him?"

"I kissed him."

Joel was in shock that someone as shy as Mark could do that.  "Wow!  That
was way risky!"

"I know.  I couldn't believe I did it.  I just realized that I had nothing
to lose."

"You had something to lose...their friendship.  It seems that they accepted
you into their family pretty fast."

"You're right.  I have been a huge fan for a long time and I never thought
I would meet them, let alone be friends with four of them.  You know, when
that director of Rosie's show asked me to do the intro, I initially was
reluctant to do it because I was so scared.  You know what I was like when
I spoke in front of the audience for that one show of yours."

"You definitely were scared then."

"I was petrified at first.  I calmed down once I thought that I would never
meet any of them face to face.  I would just enjoy the show's taping, get
some camera time, and see the guy I had a huge crush on for months."

"So, is he a good kisser?"

Mark sighed loudly and replied, "Oh God, yes!  He is the best!  The kiss
was so passionate!"

"He says he loves me, too."

Joel cannot believe what he just heard.  "WHAT?"

"Joel, believe me, I am even more shocked than you are.  I waited for a
very long time for someone to actually love me.  You know that I gave up on
love ages ago.  I didn't know what was wrong with me.  Even after you got
me to love myself, I still couldn't attract someone.  I figured I was just
too ugly."  He starts to cry again and wonders if he can have just five
minutes and not cry.  "When I least expect it, I fall in love with someone
at first sight and he loves me, too!  The wierdest thing is who it is.
James Lance Bass loves me!"

"I am so happy for you!"  Joel said as he puts a hand on Mark's shoulder
and squeezes it.

"I owe it all to you."  Mark unabashedly said.

"Me?  No, Mark!  It's all because of you."

Mark disagreed with Joel.  "No, Joel.  Because of you, I am a much
different and much better person.  I owe you so much!"

"I'm glad I have been such a big help to you.  I knew you were a great
person.  I just needed to make sure you saw and believed it."  Joel said.

Mark was very grateful for Joel's friendship.  "I do love you very much for
everything you have done for me.  I just wish I could repay you."

"You have already."  Joel explained to Mark.  "More than you know you have
repaid me."

"How?"

"You built my self-confidence in my work."

"You did that yourself.  The theater community saw how great an actor you
are.  You know how much they love you.  They showed it when you won that
award."

"Maybe, but you have total faith in me.  That is very important to me."

"Well, it's easy to feel that way.  You are such a brilliant actor."

Joel pulled into the hospital parking lot.  Both of them jump out of the
car and run inside the hospital and over to the reception area.

The nurse stopped them.  "May I help you?"

Mark answered.  "Yes please.  I am looking for Justin Timberlake's room!"

"I'm sorry but I cannot tell you that."

Mark got very upset again.  "Why?"

"Are you a family member?" The nurse asked.

"No, but I am kind of a friend.  I'm friends with the rest of the group."

The nurse cannot believe Mark.  She thought he was lying just to go in.
"Yeah, right... and I am Britney Spears!  I'm sorry, but you will have to
leave."

Mark started to cry again.  "What? I cannot leave!"  He cries harder.

Joel tried to help Mark.  "Mark, give me your cell phone and I will call
Lance."

Mark is about to give Joel his phone when the elevator opens and Lance
comes out.  He sees Mark is crying and runs to him.  "Baby, what's wrong?"
he asks, hugging him tightly.

Mark can't speak, so Joel does.  "Lance, I am Joel, a friend of Mark's."

So, you're Joel!" Lance said, happy to finally meet him.  "Mark has told me
great things about you.  I am so glad to finally meet you!"

Joel shook Lance's hand.  "Mark told me some stuff about you."

"Can we talk after I bring Mark to Justin's room?"  Lance asked.

"Sure.  I assumed you'd want to.  You just want to make sure you can trust
me.  I just want to say right away that you can.  I will never say anything
he told me."

"Thanks.  I appreciate that."  Lance replied.

"I know where you're coming from.  I'm an actor myself.  If and when I get
famous, I might have to hide my sexuality.  It's a pretty small chance I
have to, but if I do, I would feel the same things you do.  I don't know
how you do that."

Lance, Mark, and Joel go up to the waiting room near where Justin is.  JC,
Joey, and Chris are there.

"There you are, Mark."  JC said.

Mark replied, "Hey, JC.  I had to talk to Joel and when we got here, the
nurse wouldn't let us in.  Thank God Lance came down here.  How is he?"

"His condition is the same."  Joey said solemnly.

"Joshua Chasez, Joey Fatone, and Chris Kirkpatrick, this is Joel, a good
friend of mine.  He's an actor and came down here with me because he had an
audition."  Mark said, introducing Joel to JC, Joey, and Chris.  "Guys,
this is Joel.  He is responsible for raising my self confidence."

The guys shook Joel's hand.  While they waited for a doctor, they got to
know each other.  "Joel really helped you that much?"  Lance asked Mark.

Mark replied, "Yes, most definitely.  I was totally different before I met
him.  I was very sad and very mad.  I hated myself.  I was suicidal off and
on for way too many years."

Lance started to get overly emotional again.  "He saved your life?"

Mark replied, "Yes, he did.  I owe him my life."

Upon hearing this, Lance ran to where Joel was sitting and hugged him very
hard.  "Thank you so much, Joel!"

Joel was shocked by Lance's reaction.  "He's a great person and a great
friend."  After a pause, he continued.  "You really do love him, don't
you?"

With compassion, Lance replied, "I love him with all of my heart."

Chris jokingly replied, "If you all are gonna get mushy again, I will be
sick!"

They all laughed.  "So, how did the two of you meet?"  Chris asked Joel.

Mark asked Joel, "Do you want to tell the story?"

Joel replied, "You can."

Mark told the story.  "I told you he is an actor.  He is the best actor
alive."  Joel blushed.  "It's true, Joel!  He was in a play I saw.  I was
blown away by his performance and was so attracted to him right away.  Of
course I ended up being even more attracted to someone else."

"Nick, right?"  Joel asked.

Mark continued.  "Yes.  I still miss him a lot.  Anyway, I saw that first
show twice.  I had a chance to talk to Joel after the second time, but I
was petrified.  I didn't and I walked away even more depressed than I ever
had been before."

Joel said, "I didn't know that.  Why were you so scared?"

Mark simply replied, "You know I'm shy."

Chris lauged.  "You sure weren't shy when you sucked face with Lansten
here!"

Mark and Lance blushed deeply.  Mark continued his story.  "Anyway, I
really hated myself for that.  I didn't know it at the time, but God had a
plan for me that involved him.  A couple of months later, I saw him again.
It was a few days after I realized it was him I liked and not Nick.
However, it took me another month for me to make contact with him."

Joel added, "I still have that note you know."

Mark was skeptical.  "No, you don't."

Joel replied, "Yes.  I do."

Mark was amazed.  "Wow! Thanks!"

JC asked, "It was your usual fan letter?"

"Far from it." Joel replied.  "It was so beautiful!"

"I still cannot believe I wrote some of that stuff!"  Mark said.

Lance asked, "Why?"

"It was a big risk for me.  I was still so down on myself, but I had been
working out for a few months, so I felt a little bit better about myself.
I told him I was attracted to him.  It must have been wierd for him... a
total stranger says all I did."  Mark replied.

Joel added, "He also quoted the first verse from the Savage Garden song
'Truly, Madly, Deeply'."

Lance was almost jealous of what Mark did, but still appreciated it.  "What
a beautiful song!"

JC asked a question that made Lance very nervous.  "Did you ever fall in
love with him, Mark?"

Mark thought for only a second the was about to reply when Joel
interrupted.

"I don't think he ever did."  Joel said.

Mark appeared uneasy in his chair.  "Uh...Joel?  I did fall in love with
you."

Joel was quite surprised to hear that.  "What?  When?" he asked.

Mark laughed.  "Would you believe it was on your birthday this year?"

Joel was still surprised.  "Wow!  I never ever saw that!"  Joel smiled a
little bit.

Lance, however, was not happy.  He grew very sad and lowered his head.

Mark noticed Lance's change of mood.  He looked at him with passion in his
eyes.  "James, what's wrong?"

Lance replied, with tears in his eyes, "Just go with him, Mark.  I wil be
OK."

Everyone else in the room stared at Lance in disbelief.  Mark was the most
shocked.  "WHAT?"

Lance continued. "You love him and I can see he loves you.  Go with him and
be happy."

Mark replied, "James Lance Bass..... Scoopy, I am in love with you, not
him.  He's with someone.  Even if he wasn't and he told me he loved me in
that way, I would still love you."

Joel added, "I do love him, Lance, but only as a friend."

Lance was about to reply when a doctor came out into the waiting room.

"I'm looking for James Bass."  the doctor said.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Yes, no sex yet, but I want to explore the characters first.  Again, I want
to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all of your e-mails.  If
you do want to make any comments again, e me at christopher_bass@yahoo.com.