Date: Fri, 02 Jul 1999 22:40:50 EDT
From: Christian Williamson <brianandcrist@hotmail.com>
Subject: Forbidden Love: Brian and Crist, Chapt II
Forbidden Love: The Story of Brian and Christian, Chapter 2
Well here's the second installment, of what will be a very long
series. I was asked specifically how long this series is going to be, and
I had to honestly say I didn't know. At the rate I'm going now, this
series will be out for a long, long time.
I'd like to acknowledge of couple of series that I like, if they have
proper names, I'm sorry for not using them, but this is how I remember
them... "B-Rok's 10,0000 Promises" [My all time favorite, Chris, keep 'em
coming], "Bad boy B-rok" [second Favorite, once again a great story],
"Brian and Justin", "Brian and Cody", "The One", and I'm sure there are a
lot out there that I'm missing... Sorry...
I'm looking for very knowledgeable people on Manhattan and the Bible.
I need someone very familiar with Manhattan because well, duh, the story
takes place there, and all though I have been in Manhattan, it was only for
a limited time. And I need to talk with someone who's done research into
Christianity and Homosexuality, I have some of my own questions, and I'd
like to be a little better informed when I deal with it in this story.
Two more things...
I want to have a little group of people proofread my stories from now
on, so if you're interested, email me at brianandcrist@hotmail.com You'll
get to read the chapters a few days before I post them to the archive if
you want to do it.
A big Thanks goes out to all the people that emailed me, I was greatly
surprised by all the kind words, and encouragement. I like to hear what
people think about the story, good or bad. So if you want to send
something over, you can do so by emailing me at
<brianandcrist@hotmail.com>. And if you want to take a look at the
website, you can do that also at <http://members.tripod.com/brianandcrist>
Legal stuff: This story is fictional. Any similarity to real life is
purely coincidental. If you are offended by material that contains a
homosexual theme, do not read any further. If you live in an area where
homosexual literature is illegal to possess, or you are under 18, do not
read this story. If you do, you're continuing at your own risk. Well
without further interruption, here's Chapter II of Forbidden Love:
I woke up at about 6:00 A.M. And went out to the kitchen to eat
breakfast. I turned on the TV to see my face plastered on all the cable
entertainment channels and two of the local channels. I think they were
NBC and CBS affiliates, but I'm not sure. From what I saw, they were
mostly rehashing some information and playing clips from Rosie, Letterman
and Oprah. I decided to have a little bit of fun early in my morning, so I
called MTV.
"MTV studios, how may I direct your call?"
"Heather?" I asked
"Crist?" She turned the question on me.
"Ya. Hey how ya doin'?" I replied.
"Good, good. And you?"
"Oh I'm great. A little nervous though."
"Well don't be. You'll do wonderfully tonight." She said. Heather
was always so positive.
"Did you get tickets?" I hoped she did.
"You bet."
"I'll be looking for you then." I laughed.
"Well my tickets are pretty good, second row, dead center." She
boasted.
"Holy shit!" I was surprised she got those good of seats.
"MTV paid for them. I don't know why though. They'll probably tell
me I have to do a story on it, 5 minutes before the show starts." She
joked.
"Well if you do, come and see me afterwards in my dressing room. I'll
give you an _exclusive_ interview." I said saying it like I was a big shot.
"That'd be wonderful. I may request to do a story on you now. Hey
what can I do for you?"
"I was wandering if I could talk to somebody on the air right now.
You know, give a little promo for it."
"Let me see what we can do." She put me on hold for two minutes.
"Crist?" You still there?"
"Ya, I'm here."
"Okay, in 5 minutes, they'll put you on with John Norris." She said.
"Cool. I didn't think I could pull that off." I told her, very
surprised.
"Well now that you're famous, and not a little guy pestering the execs
to play you're video, you get special treatment." She giggled.
"Well, well. I'll have to make sure to take advantage of this special
treatment."
"Seriously though. I was told to tell you that if you want to get on
any of our shows, just call." She was serious.
"Good deal."
"Hey, I'm going to transfer you over to the studio now."
"Okay. It was nice talking with you again, Heather."
"Ya, it was nice talking with you tool. Hold on." The phone clicked.
"Hello?" I heard a voice on the other end ask.
"Ya?" I answered.
"This is John."
"Oh hi John. We're not on are we?" I asked.
"No. In about a minute."
"Okay, so how's this going to work?"
"We're going to cut into the videos to do this. I'll introduce you
and then say 'Crist, you there?' then it'll start." John told me rather
quickly.
"Alright."
"30 seconds." John said flatly. ~~~
Brian woke up at 6:00, too. He was feeling a little better, but still
wasn't quite himself. He ordered up room service for breakfast. He didn't
feel like facing the other guys yet because he had been rather mean and
cold to them over the weekend. He had to think up an apology before he
could confront them.
He flicked on the TV and turned it to ESPN. There was one of those
exercise programs on, so he turned it over to MTV.
"This is an MTV News update and I'm John Norris. We have Christian
Williamson on the phone with us to talk about the premiere of Martin Guerre
that will take place later today." John's voice came over the TV set.
Brian perked right up.
"Crist, you there?"
"Yep. I'm here." I said confidently.
'God even his voice sounds sexy.' Brian thought out loud.
"Welcome to MTV News. How are you doing?" John asked.
"I'm very good thank you."
"So are you excited about tonight?"
"Oh yes. We've perfected this play so much that it should be better
than the premier in London. Ever since it's gotten a lot, and I do mean _a
lot_ of publicity, the directors and producers have been working extra hard
so that it's perfect."
"Great. I hope it goes well. Have you seen a list of who will be
there yet?" He asked me.
"I'll be there." Brian said anxiously as if I'd be able to hear him.
"Not yet, but I heard it was packed with celebrities."
"You could say that. I've seen a list, but the theatre company has
not released anything official and asked to keep what we knew secret. I
can tell you though, that anybody who loves seeing a ton of celebrities
will not be disappointed." John said addressing the camera.
"Oh great, add more pressure on my shoulders." I joked.
"You'll do great." John told me assuringly. "I guess congratulations
are in order for 'What you are' making number one this week."
I heard a little cheer from the camera crew. "Thanks. I'm really
excited about it. I just hope I don't fall as fast as I came up. I said.
"You won't, I think you'll be around for a while."
"Well thanks. The next song we will be releasing off my album has a
very different feel to it than this one. That way we don't bore the fans.
Then about 4 other songs will be released, all at times when we feel are
appropriate. We want to keep the fans interested, so all the songs are
different, yet they all have that one tie: Me. Hopefully it'll work, but
then you never know, I may be yesterday's news in a couple of weeks."
"Well I'm glad this success hasn't gone to your head. Lot's of the
artists that rise of fast get very cocky in a short amount of time."
"I was brought up in a house where we were taught to be humble, and
it's just stuck with me I guess. I really don't like to say that I'm going
to make it far because I personally think it sounds arrogant. I take
things day by day, always planning for the worse, but hoping for the best."
"That's the only way to go." He said. "So how does your girlfriend
feel about all of this?"
'Why do they always have to bring up her?' I asked myself.
"Why do they always have to bring her up?" Brian asked out lout
echoing my same exact thoughts.
"Oh she's great about it. I knew her before my career took off and
she hasn't changed a bit." Which was true.
"Will she be at the premiere?" John asked.
"Actually no. She was called out of town yesterday." I replied
trying not to let my happiness show though in my voice.
Brian definitely liked that news. 'Oh this is going to work out
great. I won't have to contend with her tonight." He thought to himself.
'Ya know, he sounds kind of happy that she won't be there.'
"That's a shame." John shook his head. "When will she get to see it?"
"I'm not sure. I haven't talked to her since she left." I answered.
"Oh really?"He seemed surprised.
"She left on really short notice and forgot her cell phone. She
didn't know where she'd be staying, so I don't have a number to call her
and she hasn't call me, so..."
"Hmm... She'll probably call soon then. Well it was nice talking to
you." He was signaling to me that the interview was over.
"Oh it was nice talking to you too."
"Thanks. Good luck tonight." He said.
"Thank you. Bye."
"Bye." I heard him say, and then a click came across the phone, so I
hung up.
Brian felt better knowing my girlfriend wasn't going to be there. He
shut the TV off and fell back asleep thinking about what he'd say to me
later that night. ~~~
"Cass is going is to be happy about that." I said out loud, referring
to the MTV phone conversation. Right then the phone rang.
I picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hey nice job. You get that set up yourself?" It was Cass.
"Yepper. I didn't have anything better to do. So are you going to
come to see us warm up today?" I asked her.
"Ya. I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it. What time should I be
there?"
"Well I'm going to the theatre at ten. We start at 10:30, then at
12:00 we break for lunch. After that from one till six, they're going to
work with us on preparing and relaxing our voices. Very tedious." I told
her.
"Okay. I'll be there but I have to leave at two I'll get back at
around four thirty to five. I have to run some errands."
"That's fine. Just make sure to be there early enough to talk to some
of the guys from the major labels."
"I know. That's what you're paying me for, or did you forget?" She
asked sarcastically.
"Ah... That's why. I was staring to wonder why I had to give you
money." I kept up the little joke.
"Now you know. Well I have to go. Don't answer your phone, unless
you know who is on the caller ID" she was serious.
"Will do. See ya."
"Bye." I hung up the phone and finished eating breakfast. It was
about 6:45. I had about three hours till I had to be there, so I ran on
the tread mill for half an hour and then worked out in my little personal
gym until 9:00. I listened to my cd's instead of the radio, because I was
already sick of myself. I hopped in the shower, got ready, then left for
the theatre at 9:40. It took about 20 minutes to get there, so I was right
on time. I went in and gabbed with everyone till 10:30, when we started to
practice. They (directors) went pretty easy on un. Probably because a lot
of the people, including myself had never performed in front of any
audience this size and with so many famous people in it.
From what I could tell, no one was nervous, anxious, or nauseous. The
practice was enjoyable, actually. I saw Cass come in at about 11:00. I
waved and she waved back really excitedly. I made a couple of mistakes
during practice, which she laughed at. I think everyone was wishing she'd
go cause when she laughed, I started to laugh too and screw everything up.
I was having fun though, so I didn't care what they thought.
The directors let us out at 12:00 for lunch. We got a list of things
we couldn't eat or drink. I'd swear my whole diet was on that list. Cass
and I left for a little coffee shop and when we got there it was full.
Luckily, no one noticed who I was, except the owner, Jim, who saw me walk
in. He came over and took me and Cass to an open table. We thanked him
and gave our order. He came back with the food in five minutes. He was
apparently trying to get on my good side.
"Is that all?" He asked.
"Ya, thanks." I said. He walked away and I leaned over to Cass.
"That was weird. If there wasn't a bar and these seats were a little
comfier, I'd swear we were in a real restaurant."
She giggled and then changed the subject. "So you nervous _yet?_" She
had seen that I was pretty calm the whole day.
"Nope. Well not at least till I see a list of who's going to the
there tonight." I said suggestingly. I knew that she knew who would be
there. I was trying to get her to tell me.
"I'm not saying a word. I will tell you that there's going to be a
ton of movie stars, even more music artists, and a lot of music execs. But
I don't want to get you nervous." She was being stubborn on purpose and
had the biggest grin on her face.
"Cass I hate you!" I said jokingly, throwing a roll at her...
"Hey! Come on. You know if I told you, you'd get super nervous."
"No I wouldn't." I said defiantly. "Wait. Someone really super cute
is going to be there?" I was prying.
"There's going to be lots of good-looking people there." She blocked
me again.
"Come on, please." I begged.
"Huh-uh. You'll find out tonight."
I let out a little grunt. "Okay, I'll just have to find out from
someone else."
"You won't."
"And why's that?" I asked raising my brow.
"Because I've gone to great lengths to keep it secret. Trust me, you
won't get the list."
God if she said I wasn't going to get something, then I wasn't going
to get it. She was always able to get or do what she wanted. "Okay.
Okay... I give up."
"Good. Now tonight try to avoid looking in the audience. If you see
someone and loose your concentration, the whole experience could be
ruined." She said getting serious.
"Ya I know, James told me that." James was one of the directors. He
dealt with the choreography and physical parts of it.
"What are you doing afterwards?" She asked.
"Well, I guess right after the show I'm going to talk with as many
people I can."
"I know that, but I mean do you have any plans for tonight?"
"I promised this girl I know, Heather, I'd give her a little
interview. Then after that, I don't know. Why? You want to do
something?" I was curious as to why she was asking me.
"I can't, I'm going on a date." She grinned.
"You're so lucky you can go out with somebody."
"You and Jes can go out." She said eating her fries.
"That's not what I mean, and you know it. I don't want to go out with
a girl, I want a guy. Someone who I really care about." She knew I was
gay, and had a little crush on Brian, so I didn't have to hide anything
around her.
"Honey, you know that's not possible and speaking of being gay, don't
talk about Brian like you did on Rosie, like that again. I received
several angry calls from the Jive, Zomba, and the Firm, almost everybody."
I perked right up at that, not even realizing that it was bad. "You
talked with their management? That's awesome."
"Did you miss something? I said I got _angry_ calls. Not nice ones."
"Well you had contact with them. That's more than me."
"Are you still obsessing over Brian?" She asked me sarcastically.
"Actually I haven't seen any pictures of him since the morning of the
Oprah interview. It's hard for me to remember what he exactly looks like.
I've had so much stuff going on lately, that I haven't had anytime to
refresh my memory of his face."
"Ya, right. Well that's probably a good thing." She knew that he was
going to be there, and that if I recognized him, I might loose my
concentration.
We finished our lunch, not talking about much after that cause we had
to get back to the theatre. We arrived there, and I was rushed back on
stage. ~~~
At around 1:00, Kevin came in to wake Brian up. He turned on the
lights and went over to the bed and shook Brian.
"Hey, Bri. Wake up."
"What time is it?" Brian asked very groggily.
"It's one in the afternoon. We have to go to the studio for a couple
of hours."
"Oh ya, I forgot about that." Brian yawned.
"Well you have half an hour to get ready." Kevin announced as he
started for the door. "Come down to my room when you're done." He walked
out and closed the door.
Brian started humming to get his voice ready because he knew he'd be
the one singing today. He got up and went into the bathroom. There was a
big mirror on the wall that was as tall as he was. He took off his shirt
and boxers and stood there naked in front of the mirror.
"I still have it." He told himself, flexing his tight muscles. He had
been down on himself all weekend, and needed positive reinforcement. "I
just hope he thinks I have it too." With that he turned around and started
the shower. He made sure it was the right temp and got in. When he was
done washing, he stepped out and almost fell, but luckily he didn't get
hurt.
He picked out picked out a Nike wind suit with a wife beater and put
them on. He went down to Kevin's room and they were all waiting for him.
As fast as he got in the room, he was out of it. They all went down stairs
and hopped in the limo.
"You excited about tonight?" Howie asked Brian , trying to stir up
some conversation.
"Ya. I can't wait." Brian proclaimed looking directly at Kevin.
Kevin shook his head disappointed at Brian, and said "Whatever. It's
your choice."
No one else knew what was up between them, and the looks on their face
reflected that. Nick knowing it probably had to do with something that
shouldn't be asked about, avoided the subject by asking what time they were
going to be done. "Hey, does anybody know what time we'll get out of the
studio today?"
"Four." AJ replied without much expression.
"Wow! That's early." Nick was surprised.
"Well Brian has to be at the theatre by 6:30 and it's going to take 20
minutes to get there, so he has to leave by at least 6:10 and he won't get
to the hotel to get ready until 4:30, and knowing Brian that gives him just
enough time to get ready."
"Cool." Nick bobbed his head. "Well thanks Frick."
Brian wasn't even paying attention to what was being said. He was
daydreaming about what might happen later that night.... all the
possibilities...
'Bri, Hey Brian!" Kevin saw him starring out the window, daydreaming.
Brian turned to them. "Huh? What?"
"Nothing. You just looked lost a second there."
"Oh I was thinking about recording today." He lied.
"What were you thinking about it?" Kevin asked in a curious way.
"Oh just about how high my part is in some of the songs." Brian knew
that answer would satisfy them.
"Ya, you're the one who's singing the most today. Hey, we're here."
Kevin said getting out. The rest of the guys followed. They went inside
and Brian was whisked into the warm up room with a vocal coach. He went
through about 15 minutes of exercises, starting with stretching, then
vocalizing with high and light falsetto stuff, humming, and open vowel
singing. When he was finally finished, he went into the sound booth. The
recording was grueling, but he did excellent and at 4:00, the guys left and
went to the hotel. ~~~
Cass left at about 2:00 and got back at 4:30. We were all on stage
doing a ton of exercises, voice, facial, breathing, stretching and almost
every other type of exercise for singing. Cass walked in during the
exercise where we were making truck like sounds with our lips flapping
together. I just about burst out laughing with her, but I was able to keep
it in.
5:30 finally came and all the cast was taken back to makeup and
costume. It took about an hour to get everything done. Thalia, my
favorite make up artist didn't get to work on me, so I was bummed about
that, but everything else went smoothly.
The producer came down and told us we had half an hour till start
time. All of a sudden, I was totally out of it. That was the way I got
before I performed in public. It was almost as if I was high. I never
forgot what to do on stage, but I was delirious to everything else. I
never recognized anybody and it seemed as if everything was blurry. The
president could have came up to mea and I wouldn't have known who it was.
I don't know why I got like that, but I did. Maybe it stemmed from an
insecurity, maybe about myself, or it could have came from a lack of
something. I don't know...
Amanda, who played Betrande, the lead female character, saw me staring
into space and came over.
"Crist. CRIST!" She yelled softly.
"What? Oh Mandy, hi"
"What's going on?" She asked worried that I didn't look 100% there.
"Oh nothing. I just get like this before I... before I perform." I
said stumbling over my words.
"It isn't going to effect you on stage is it?"
"Well, no I mean I'll do fine with you guys." I started flying through
my words. "I just won't be able to know, recognize anybody, or be myself
again til an hour after the show. I fee so out of it, like I drank 200
cups of coffee. You're lucky I remembered you."
"Crist, you're not taking drugs are you?"
"What...? Of course not, trust me. I may seem as though I were, but
this is how I get. I'm improving though. When I first started to sing, I
wasn't able to talk before I went on."
"Okay. Just wanted to make sure." She looked relieved.
"15 minutes. Come on everybody, it's time to get on stage." The
producer yelled, looking a little strained out. ~~~
"Jesus, Brian. It's 6:15 What are you doing???" Kevin shouted
pounding on Brian's door.
"I know. I'm coming. Just hold on a sec." Brian said coming out of
the bathroom, buckling his belt. He grabbed his jacket and opened the
door.
"Hurry up. The limo's waiting for you."
'Thanks."Brian walked down the hall and got in the elevater.
Kevin yelled "Have a good time." before the doors closed.
"I will."
Brian got downstairs and hopped in the limo. He arrived at the
theatre around 6:40. The driver drove up to the red carpet and Brian got
out. The bulbs started flashing. He walked to the press canopy and went
over to John Norris. He had to go to some reporter, it might have well as
been one he liked.
"Hi Brian." John greeting Brian, shoving the mic in Brian's face.
"Hi."
"So where are the other Backstreet Boys?"
"They've all got plans for tonight, they couldn't make it."
"That's a shame. It's supposed to be really good tonight."
"They're all coming to see it tomorrow." Brian responded
"Oh good. I'm surprised to see you here, though. I mean considering
the things flying around about you."
"Well I really love Martin Guerre and Christian Williamson is a great
singer. I'm not going to let rumors dictate what I do. It would be silly
for me not to go just because he was joking around and the press blew it
out of proportion."
"Good for you. I'm proud to say though that MTV has never indulged in
these rumors. You've got total support from us."
"Thanks. That means a lot." Brian replied sincerely.
"So, do you have any plans for after the show?"
"Not right now, but who knows." Answered Brian. "There are a lot of
people here, so I might catch up with some friends or something. I really
don't know."
"Are you hyped up about the release of your next album, Millennium?"
John needed as many sound bytes as he could get, so that's why the subject
of the questions changed so quickly.
"Very. We're putting finishing touches on it right now and it sounds
really good."
"You sure are pushing it, don't you think?
Brian didn't understand. "Pushing what?"
"Well you're just getting really close to the publication date."
"We're doing fine actually. It only takes about two or three weeks to
make the records themselves, and then only a couple days for distribution.
So really we're right on time."
"Good. I can't wait till it's out. Well it was nice talking with
you." John raised his hand for Brian to shake.
"You too. Bye."
"Bye." With that, Brian walked in and got his seat. It was only two
seats to the left from Heather. She saw him and was quite calm. She'd
seen him before and there were many bigger celebs than him there, so she
didn't feel uncomfortable with him only being two seats away. ~~~
I was standing off to the side of the stage when the lights dimmed and
the curtain rose. I didn't come in for another 20 minutes, but I was in
'the zone'. Oblivious to everything, but the show. This is where I wanted
to be, because when I'm in 'the zone,' I don't even realize there's an
audience.
I was singing at this huge church once and I got like this. I got up
and sang as awesomely as I could have, but didn't think about there being a
crowd in the seats. I mean I looked at them, but it was as if they weren't
there. I don't know how to explain it, but when I get like that, I do my
best.I'm in another world when I'm on stage.. My 'zone' has never been
broken before by an audience member and I prayed that tonight wouldn't be
any different.
The curtains closed. Michael, the guy who was playing Martin Guerre,
had just finished singing his solo and it was my time to go on. I went and
took my place. The curtains rose and he started singing his part. Then my
turn came and I sang. We did our lines until he to supposedly died. The
curtains closed again. There was a quick scenery change and the curtains
rose once more.
The crazy kid was singing, I came on and everything went smoothly up
until way through the part where Amanda and I did 'All I Know.', The song
that we sang on Rose.
I was facing the audience when I started singing my lines "All that
I've seen, all the battles, all that I've done. Never seeing the truth
until that morning and the light of the sun." I turned and looked at
Amanda. Everything was still going fine. "And now I'm here with you,
learning how it feels to feel scared of the feeling I've found. In all my
life this is the first time I've cared. These bloodied hands, their scars
of war, have never fought for love before." I turned back to the audience.
"And all I know is that all I want to say, I've never said before." Then I
took Amanda in my arms. "And all I ask, is you tell me every word you have
to say."
We stood there for a second staring into each other's eyes, and then
we turned to the audience and she started to sing. "All I need is the time
to know that this is real and let it grow. And all I see is a man who
finds he's brave enough to stay."
We turned to each other once again and sang "And all I know is the
touch of love that changes all I know." She broke away and went to the
side of the stage and sang her lines as if she was in a world of her own,
deep in thought. "Is this someone I dreamed in my heart?"
Right then, for some reason, I looked down into the audience, my
concentration being broken. I didn't do it on purpose it just happened, as
if something had told me to do it. I looked down at the center front rows
and froze. Right there, were the most gorgeous blue eyes I'd ever seen,
cast on me. I stood for a moment, hypnotized. I shook my head to get out
of the trance as she finished her second line. "Is this someone I dreamed
from the start?"
We both sang then to the audience, as though we were vocalizing our
thoughts. "And all the pain that I've known turns to dust, blown by the
wind. And all I know is that love like this is love that never lies." I
took another peek at him, I had to. The front rows were lit enough to see
the people in them clearly, so I could to see him without any trouble. He
was so gorgeous. Blue eyes, red hair and a jaw line to die for. Luckily,
it was a quick glance, and I wasn't able to look into his eyes. I returned
to singing, but I knew that I couldn't keep from looking at him again.
"All I need is the time to know that this is real and let it grow." ~~~
'He looked at me! He saw me!' Brian thought to himself, amazed. 'I
got his attention. I have to do it again. When he looks down, I'll give
him the 'I'm yearning for you' eyes. He won't be able to escape that.'
~~~
The little music section played and I looked back out to the audience,
knowing I shouldn't because this was one of the biggest moments of the
play, and if I messed it up by looking at him, I was done for. I couldn't
stop myself though. He was like a drug, I had to have more.
I scanned the first two rows and saw him immediately. A warm feeling
flooded my body and I was paralyzed, I couldn't move. He wiped my mind out
and gazing into his beautiful eyes I automatically started to sing my
lines, which seemed so right to be coming out. "And all I see is that all
I've ever loved is in your eyes." He was lipping the words with me, to me.
Something was passing between us, an understanding, something magical,
something I had never experienced before. "And all I know is the touch of
love that changes all I know." The chills started to run up and down in my
body. I felt connected and I knew we would be together. It was almost as
if some power, subconsciously was telling me that this was right, that this
was it, the real deal. I was overwhelmed with happiness and a tear of joy
ran down my face. I noticed that he was beginning to cry too. I wish I
could have gone down and wipe it away. All of a sudden, the men in the
show who played the guards took me away. I fought to get free, much
fiercer than I had ever done in past practices. I tried every which way to
get loose, but they were big men, and kept me in their hold. They drug me
back and when I couldn't see my dream man anymore, I submitted to their
force. I felt as though a part of me had been taken away, and I didn't
want to struggle anymore. I hung my head and they finished taking me back
stage. I was let go, and I almost fell. I felt so weak. I found a stool
and sat down, hunched over catching my breath. I began sobbing as the
feeling of loneliness took over.
Amanda came over, very angry, and before she saw the state I was in,
yelled at me. "What the hell was that!?"
So shocked by her abruptness, I tried to answer, but all that came out
was "I... I..."
The look of anger immediately left her, and concerned she asked if I
was okay. "Are you alright?"
"I think so." was all I could manage to say.
Just then, James, that director, snuck up behind me . "My god!" He
yelled.
I jumped up about a foot, making him and Amanda laugh, and finally me
too. "Don't scare me like that."
"Sorry." He said still chuckling. "Anyway, that was intense. I've
never seen a pair of eyes with such a passion before in my life. Why
didn't you ever do that in rehearsal? Did you practice that?"
I shook my head no. "Actually someone in the audience made me do
that. They caught my eye, and then I... I couldn't break lose" I answered
reflecting in my mind, what had just happened.
"Well whatever. That was great. I want you to do it like that from
now on." He said, patting me on the shoulder. "But look at Amanda instead,
next time." he smiled.
"Okay." In the play I was supposed to turn to Amanda and we were to
sing to each other, but that didn't happen and Jim was actually pretty cool
about it. I sat down for a couple minutes and composed myself. ~~~
Brian sat in his chair, panting. "Holy Shit. What was that?' Brian
asked himself silently in the same state of shock that I was in. "I don't
know if I'll be able to handle that again. But I've got to meet him now.
There's no way that I can't. I'm not going to mess this up. It's to
perfect."
The curtains opened and we were all on stage, in a court room setting.
Luckily for me I wasn't facing the audience, because I I were, I knew I'd
see him again, and who knows what would have happened then.
Throughout the second act, I had to look at the audience, and avoided
him every time, but the last. It was only a peep. My character got shot
and when Amanda was holding my in her arms as I died, I looked out and saw
him balling his eyes out. I wanted to get up and say "I'm okay, really I
am" to comfort him, but that was out of the picture.
The curtains closed and we were whisked off the stage and then the
curtain opened again. I wasn't in any of the end of the play, so I just
watched from the side. I tried to see my man in the audience, but from
where I was sitting, couldn't. I was too far to the side.
The play ended, the curtains dropped, and the audience stood up like
lightening, giving the loudest standing ovation I had ever seen. Right at
that moment though, Brian got a page. "Shit." He looked to see who was
calling, and it was Kevin. "God damn it, Kev. You always get me at bad
times." He mumbled to himself as he started to get out of the row. He
walked up the main isle on the right and back. The second he got out the
door, the curtain rose to reveal the whole cast on stage. We took a bow.
I searched for him in the audience. I saw Heather, and then two seats
down, there was a gap. He was gone. My heart sank to the bottom of my
stomach. I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe he had left. I wanted to
see him so badly. I took a big gulp and held the tears back. We took
another bow and left the stage. The crowd was still cheering, but I didn't
care. I felt so depressed.
Jim went on stage with a mic and tapped it a couple times to get
everybody's attention. "If I could have your attention please. The cast
will be coming out in a second for anybody wishing to talk to them, to do
so. They'll be out for approximately the next 15 minutes. I'd like to
thank you all for coming and have a safe trip home."
I got into the audience first and was swarmed by a crowd of people.
Heather somehow managed to be right beside me and I whispered to her "Go
back to my dressing room. I'll be back there in 20 minutes."
Her face got this gorgeous glow because she didn't think I was serious
about the interview. "Okay. Thanks." She said excitedly.
"Oh you're welcome."
I talked with what seemed a million people in those 15 minutes. No
sign of the mystery man or Cass for that matter. I figured she either
couldn't get close or was talking to somebody else. I finally got back to
my dressing room and both Cass and Heather were there. They saw me come in
and Cass came over . "Crist, I don't have any words to describe how
wonderful you did." She told me almost crying.
"Ya, oh my god Crist. I didn't know you were capable of that, well I
didn't know anyone was capable of that. And when you sung that 'All I
know' song, you struck a cord deep inside me. I just balled. I mean you
had such a passion and flare in your eyes like longing for a love that was
so close, but you couldn't have. I just can't describe it well enough to
do it any justice. I realized though that I'd never experienced true love
like that before. How did you do that to me?" I don't know if she
expected a real answer or not.
I stood in amazement at how emotional she was getting. I didn't think
that the eye lock with my mystery man would have reverberated in the other
audience members as it did. The picture of him popped up in my head and I
just stood staring into space, thinking about him.
"Crist?" Cass asked, breaking my daydream.
"Oh sorry. I don't know Heath. I was just doing what I felt at the
moment." I said, answering her question.
"Crist, I'm going to go, sweetie." Cass interrupted. "Try to get some
sleep tonight, okay?" She gave me a hug.
"I'll try. Bye." I said waving as she closed the door.
"You ready to start the interview?" Heath asked setting up her
camcorder.
"What interview?" I toyed with her.
"You know what interview. Come on." She grabbed my arm and drug me
over to the table in the kitchen area.
She asked me about how I felt the show went and who I got to meet
afterwards and what was next for me and a whole bunch of other questions.
I felt kind of bad for her though, because I was only half way through my
after stage shock, and I kept thinking about that guy. Therefore I was
constantly daydreaming and drifting off. She must have brought me back to
Earth at least 20 times, but I don't think she minded cause she didn't seem
irritated. She probably had seen people in afterstage shock before and
realized what the symptoms were.
She moved from her questioning about my career to Jes. "So where's
your girlfriend?"
The one time I needed to be alert, I wasn't, and the one time I had to
give a good, sincere answer, I didn't. "I don't care. I'm going to break
up with her soon. Oh shit! I can't believe I just said that. Please
don't publish that." I begged, realizing my slip up.
"Sure. I won't say anything. You probably didn't mean it anyways."
Thank god she was understanding. She was wrong though, I did mean it, but
I couldn't break up with Jes, especially after I blabbed about her so much
on Oprah.
"Thanks. I'm just kind of out of it tonight." I reasoned.
"That's what I figured. Well hey. I need to go. It's already 9:50"
She got up and started gathering her stuff.
"It is getting late." I said looking down at my watch. "I want a
glowing review tomorrow." I told her sarcastically.
"Don't worry, you'll get it." She gave me a little hug. "See ya." She
walked out in the hallway.
"Bye." I closed the door and locked it.
I went over to the fridge and got a Mountain Dew. I opened it and
walked over to the couch to sit down. I had a rather long dressing room,
the kitchen part was at one end, then in the middle right beside the
fridge, opposite side as the main door was my vanity area with the bathroom
door beside it, then moving down to the wall adjacent to that one was a
huge tv, which the couch was facing.
Well, I went to sit and as soon as my butt hit the cushions there was
a knock at the door.
"Heather? Is that you?" I asked hoping it was, cause I wouldn't have
gotten up, had it been her.
"Um... No. It's not Heather." A guy answered with a bit of a
southern accent.
"Oh..." I tried to think of who it could be, and then it dawned on me.
It had to be Jim. "Come on in" I yelled. The door handle jiggled. "Shit."
I had to get up cause it was locked. I had forgotten about it being
locked. "Hold on one sec." I unlocked the door and I asked "What do you
need Jim?" before it was barely open. "Oh, I'm sorr..." I cut off in the
middle of "sorry" seeing that it wasn't Jim. It was the guy from the
audience. My jaw dropped and the only thing that was running through my
head as I stood starring like an idiot was "Oh My God! It's Him!"
What happens next? Do they fall in love at first sight? Or do they keep
their feelings hidden? Or is this all a dream? Who knows! You'll have to
wait and see...
The next chapter will be out in about a week and a half. It'll be like
really long, so I hope that'll mak
e up for the tardiness....
Until next time,
tre