Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 19:07:27 MST
From: DJs Tale <djs_tale@hotmail.com>
Subject: Forever 18-20

Hi, all.  Here's the next sections of 'Forever'.  Little bit
shorter section this time.  It's just where the story ended up.

Response to the last section was pretty thin.  Hope everyone's not
already gettin' BORED with this.  If y'are, I'll probably call it
quits to posting soon.  Not much reason to waste the Archivist's
time and space better put to use on other stories, right?  ;-)

Usual stuff (i.e feel free to skip to 'Chapter 18')
Favorite stories:  'Escape', 'Choices', 'Separate Lives',
	'Brian and Me','Kevin and Justin', 'Lance in Shining Armour',
	and many others.	Frankly, I have too much time on my hands.

Disclaimer
----------
	This story is completely in the mind of the author and is
not intended to reflect the actual personalities or sexualities of
the Backstreet Boys (no matter how much the author might wish it
otherwise!).  If any member of BSB is gay, it's their life and their
business (but they can feel free to e-mail me and complain about the
story).  Don't read this story if you're too young in your corner of the
world.  Don't read this story if it's illegal in your corner of the world.
No hamsters were harmed during the filming of this movie, etc. etc. etc.




Chapter 18

	The night was quiet, broken only by the sound of his heartbeat as
I lay with my head on his chest.  I knew he was awake.  His hand was
stroking lightly across my back and shoulders.  I let my hand wander a
bit, too, stroking across his chest, down over his muscular stomach, up
over his arm, back to his chest.

	We had enjoyed a quiet evening at home.  I had grilled up a few
steaks while Kevin made some phone calls.  He wanted to let his mom
know why he wasn't at the show that night.  He knew she'd worry if she
noticed he wasn't there.

	I was a little worried myself, actually.  Would the other guys
resent that he wasn't with them?  I knew Kevin was considered something
of a leader in the group.  Would they be ticked that he'd decided to
stay with me rather than attend what was arguably one of the bigger
moments of their career to date?

	And what about his family?  Kevin had told me that they knew
about him, about the fact that he'd had relationships with men in the
past.  He said that they'd accepted it, although they obviously weren't
thrilled.  I think they had other dreams in mind for him.  I knew how
that one went, first hand.

	We'd stayed up to watch the awards, of course.  Even if he'd been
too nervous to sit through the broadcast, I would've watched myself.
After all, I was a big fan of the group.  Well, I was now that I'd
settled my differences with Kev again.  Otherwise, I probably would've
elected to throw my TV in the pool downstairs rather than watch the
guys on it.

	For some reason, that reminded me that I needed to repurchase
their CD's.  I had `disposed' of them when Kev had disappeared on me
two weeks ago.

	BSB did pretty well at the awards.  They were up for four awards.
Five if you counted the award for `Best Song', which went to the
songwriters of `I Want It That Way' rather than the guys themselves.
The guys won three of the four, losing out to Santana on the `Album of
the Year' award.  I think Kevin was a little disappointed, but it WAS
Santana, after all.  While I never listened to his music, I still knew
that he was one of the legends of the music scene.

	Brian did most of the talking during their acceptance speeches.
He, of course, gave up thanks to the big man upstairs, as well as to
his family.  During their first award, he apologized to the crowd,
explaining that Kevin was `sick' and was sorry for the fans that he
couldn't make it.  It popped into my head at that moment that he was
lying to cover Kevin.  I wondered how he reconciled that with his
religion.

	Nick decided to be slightly humorous during their last award,
although there were probably only a handful of people out there who
would get it.  I was one of them.

	"I just wanna take a sec and send out my love and thanks to my
family and all my friends back home.  Your support has meant a lot.  I
also want to say `Hey' to my new friend, Dylan.  Hope things're goin'
well for y'all tonight.  And, Kevin, I know you gotta be watchin' this.
Get plenty of rest tonight, man, we miss ya bein' with us!"

	I shook my head at Nick's silliness.  I'd have to remember to
tell him, in detail, just how `well' things were going for me tonight.
And then to let him know that Kev did, indeed, get his rest.

	We'd stumbled to bed after the awards were done.  We were both
pretty tired, in spite of how late we slept in that morning.  We'd been
through a lot the last few days and were in need of the rest.  Besides,
our flight was leaving at the crack of dawn, so we'd have to be up
pretty early to get there in time.

	But, for some reason, I couldn't get to sleep.  I lay there in
the dark, listening to the rhythm of his breathing, feeling the warmth
of his skin under me.  I think part of me was still afraid of sleeping
because this might all end up being a fantasy when I woke up.  And part
of me was afraid of sleeping because I knew that tomorrow I would see
the other guys again, not as a friend or just some guy they'd met once,
but as the boyfriend of one of their family.  I wasn't really looking
forward to the experience.

	"Kev," I spoke his name softly, in case I'd been wrong and he was
sleeping.  He wasn't.

	"Yeah, sweetie?"  He'd taken to calling me sweetie.  I couldn't
decide if I really liked it or not, but I didn't figure now was really
the time to bring it up.

	"What do you think the guys will say about us?"  He didn't
respond right away.  I knew he was trying to put it together in his
head before he said anything.

	"I think they'll be ok with it.  I won't lie, it might be rough
at first.  You-know-who left a lot of baggage among us.  But, they're
good guys, and they're my friends.  They'll see how much I love you,
and that'll be enough to give you the benefit of the doubt."

	Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but I guess it would have to
do.  I still had some misgivings, but it sounded like Kev just wanted
to let things lie until we were with the others.  I moved on to another
subject.

	"We should probably talk about how I'll need to behave," I said.

	"What do you mean?"

	"Well, obviously in public, no kissing or touching or anything.
But what about on the bus, or backstage at the show, or in the hotel?
I mean, you've gotta have support staff and stuff around.  How careful
do I need to be when it's not just you and me alone in a room?"  I
leaned up a little, put on a smile and said in my best country hick
accent, "Ah've nevah dated anyone famous befoah, ya know."

	He seemed a little disturbed about my reference to his fame, but
he let it slide and smiled back at me.

	"In public, we're friends, so we can act like friends."

	"So I should just pretend you're Nick, then, huh?"  I said it on
purpose, trying to get a little jealous rise outta him.  I must be good
cause it worked like a charm.

	"I'd hope that you're much better friends with me than you are
with Nick, Dylan," he said with a little pout.  "After all, I don't
think you'd do this with Nick."  He leaned down and planted a big wet
kiss on my lips.  I enjoyed the feeling for a moment before I pulled
back.  I wasn't ready to take it to the next level just yet, so I
didn't want to get too carried away.  I lay back down against his
chest.

	"No, I definitely won't do that with Nick!" I said.  I felt him
chuckle under me.

	"Good!  As for on the bus, we can be who we are.  The only others
allowed on the bus are our security guards and the occasional
management type.  Everyone's got non-disclosure agreements signed with
the group.  But, even more than that, I trust them.  We've been
together for a while, and I don't believe that any of them would say
anything.  Besides, even if I didn't trust `em, we're their meal
ticket.  If we go down, so do they.  They understand the need to keep
some aspects of our lives private."

	"Do they know about you?" I asked.  I couldn't help but wonder if
Glen had broken the trail into their lives for me.

	"No.  None of them were with us when Glen was around, and I
haven't been with anyone since," he said.  Damn, he was good at picking
out my thoughts.  I blushed a little, guilty that I was so easily read
by him.

	"Backstage is kind of iffy.  Most of the time, it's just our
group back there, but sometimes the local venue provides support staff
to help out.  We'll just have to play that by ear, ok?  If nothing
else, our dressing room is always off limits if we want it to be."

	"Are you doing any fan contests?  Ya know `Meet your favorite
BSB' or whatever those things are."

	"You mean a `meet-n-greet'?"  I nodded.  "Not in New Orleans.  It
was too hard to schedule something with us having to travel back from
the Grammy's.  There is one in Houston, though.  You can come to that,
of course."

	"Really?  I would think that you'd want to limit my public
exposure," I said, not really considering what I'd said before I said
it.  Kevin obviously read more into it than I intended.  He turned on
his side and shifted until our eyes were at the same level.

	"Dylan, I want you with us as much as possible.  You're the one
who's gonna have to deal with the public pressure.  Once people see you
with us, especially after it's been a few times, they're bound to
figure out who you are.  You're gonna start getting reporters after
you, phone calls, the whole bit."

	I hadn't really considered that.  Even as just a friend, I was
someone who had an `inside track' on life with the Boys.  If I started
getting seen very often, people would realize that I was a pretty good
friend, which meant I'd have even more to say.  Possibly even more dirt
to dish.  Oh boy.

	"If you're willing to be with us in public, to put up with
everything that means, then I'm more than happy to have you there.  You
are my love," my heart did a double back flip on that one, "but more
importantly, you're my friend."

	"And Nick's," I couldn't resist adding with a grin.

	"Yeah, and Nick's, too.  FRIEND, that is," he laughed.  I got
serious for a moment.

	"Kev, I'm more than willing to put up with all of that, if it
means that I get to spend time with you, and with the others, too.
Besides the fact that I'm in love with you," I could see the affect my
words had on him, and I liked it, "I'm also friends with you, and with
Nick, and hopefully with the rest of the guys, too.  That means I want
to be able to hang with you.  And I'll try not to do or say anything
that'll cause you problems, ok?"

	"I know, D.  I know you will, and I trust your judgment.  Now
come on, enough worrying about this.  You'll be fine.  We'll be fine.
Let's just get some sleep, ok?"

	I nodded back, knowing that I could probably sleep now.  He
pushed me to roll over so he could spoon up against my back.  I loved
this position.  I felt so safe and warm and loved when he held me like
that.  I drifted off, listening to his breathing in my ear.



	I decided when I woke up the next morning that technology was a
hideous and evil thing, despite the fact that it provided me with a
pretty good income.

	`Alarm clocks should be banned.  And morning DJ's should be
drugged so they aren't so damn happy when they come through my clock
radio,' I thought as I sleepily got up to shut off the alarm.

	I had gotten in the habit years ago of having my alarm clock on
the dresser across the room, well out of my reach.  If I was forced to
actually get out of bed to shut it off, odds were much better that I
wouldn't play `snooze-tag' for an hour or two before actually getting
out of bed.

	I stretched out my body, slowly reaching my arms in the air and
arching my back, trying to work out the kinks.  I heard a whistle
behind me, and someone who believed they were funny was clapping at my
little show.

	"More!  More!  Take it all off, baby!" he was yelling at me.

	`Oh, God, another perky morning person.  It's like a disease,' I
thought to myself as I turned around and stuck out my tongue at him.

	"Hey, don't be stickin' that thing out at me unless you plan to
use it," he said with a grin.  I just took a moment to admire my man.

	He was laying in my bed.  Our bed?  A serious case of bed-head
had his dark hair sticking out in all directions.  His well-muscled
body was laying, relaxed, outside the covers, which we'd apparently
kicked off during the night.  His chest, stomach, legs, all were
beautifully defined, and perfectly proportioned.  He wasn't all big and
bulky, but he wasn't so skinny he'd blow away in the wind.  I wondered
just how far below his waist that tan went.

	"Enjoying the view?" he asked.

	"Oh, you have no idea," I said back, not taking my eyes from his
body.  For some reason, he chuckled.

	"Well, actually, I have a very good idea," he said, pointing
towards my waist.  I looked down, catching site of a large tent in my
boxers.

	"Oh boy," I said as I quickly looked up at him.  He was just
loving it.  And was that a little happy-tent I saw rising in his
boxers, also?  I figured I'd better retreat before I got myself in too
deep.  I ran for the bathroom.

	When my shower was done, I wrapped a towel around my waist and
wandered back into the bedroom.  Kevin was still laying there, although
I did notice he wasn't as happy to see me as before.  His eyes followed
me across the room as I walked to my dresser to grab a pair of boxers.

	Feeling a little daring, I turned my back, dropped the towel, and
slipped into my boxers.  I pulled them on slowly, ensuring he had a
good view.  After all, some day this would be his, right?  When I
turned back around, I noticed he was happy to see me again, which was
ok since I was growing very happy to see him as well.

	"Kev, honey, you'd better get in the shower," I said.  He seemed
distracted.  I wonder why?

	"Huh?   Oh yeah, right.  Plane," he said as he stood.  I followed
him with my eyes, admiring the grace and ease with which he moved.  I
could tell why he did so well dancing.

	Just as he reached the door, he stopped.  I thought I knew what
was coming, but I played along anyway, putting a puzzled look on my
face as he turned his head.  Actually, I was wrong about what was
coming.  He turned all the way around, so he was facing me.

	"Two can play at this little game, D," he said, then slid off his
boxers.  Whoa, full frontal view.  I stared at his face for a moment,
shocked that he'd taken that step.  But only for a moment.

	He'd given me the opening, I intended to take it, of course.  I
looked down.  His tan didn't stop at his waist.  I'm not sure how, but
his tan didn't stop anywhere.  Obviously, `Mr. Body Beautiful' did his
tanning in the buff.  My mouth went dry.  I would've blushed, but all
the blood in my body had pooled elsewhere.

	Kev just chuckled and turned into the bathroom.  Sadistic
bastard.  I could hear the water running and all I could think about
was how it would look, running down his hot flesh, coating every part
of him, dripping from the end of his.

	I shook myself.  I didn't want to go there.  Yet, anyway,
although I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back for long.  I wanted us
to establish a relationship outside of sex.  So, we'd talked and
decided it was better if we waited for a bit.  I think that `bit' just
shortened considerably.



	The flight to New Orleans was short and uneventful.  I fell
asleep just after take off and woke up later with my head resting on
his shoulder.  He didn't seem to mind, so I didn't make an issue out of
it.

	We actually arrived on time and even managed to gather our
luggage without anyone realizing who Kev was.  I was a little relieved
at that.  I was nervous enough about meeting the guys again, much less
having to face some of his screaming fans.

	Tom was waiting for us with a limo.  I guess Kevin had called
from somewhere to let `his people' know when he'd be in.  By the look
of surprise on Tom's face, however, it looked like I was an unannounced
visitor.  Great.

	We hopped in the limo for the ride to the hotel.  The guys had
flown back late last night, already, and would be there waiting for us
to arrive.  Or rather, for Kevin to arrive.

	"Kevin, dear," I said with my sweetest sarcastic smile, "please
tell me that the other guys know I'm going to be along on this little
excursion."

	"Well, not exactly," he mumbled.

	"Define `not exactly', please," I said, still all syrupy smiles.

	"Ok, no.  I didn't tell the guys that you were coming.  Not even
Nick," he said.

	"I see," I said, losing the smile then.  "Kevin.  Scott.
Richardson.  Are you out of your bloody mind?" I yelled.  He at least
had the decency to look ashamed.  "You can't just open the door and say
`ta-da, we're here' with me in tow.  It's totally unfair to the guys to
just show up and expect them to be all fine and dandy with us.  You
should've given them some warning so they could work it out before we
got there.  Now they're gonna have to deal when I'm standing right
there!"  I grew quieter.  "Not to mention how hard it's gonna be for me
to deal with it, too."

	"Look, D, I'm sorry, ok?  I just thought it would be easier for
all of us to confront it right away.  I didn't really think how hard it
would be on you," he said.  I noticed he said `on you' and not `on the
guys'.  Part of me was happy he was thinking of me first.  The other
part was wondering if this would be trouble down the road.

	"I understand that, Kevin, but you still should've at least
talked with ME about it.  Then I would've at least had a better reason
for being as nervous as I am now," I said, joking a little to let him
know I was ok.

	I wasn't really all that mad about them not knowing.  In some
ways, Kevin was right.  It would be better if we just confronted
everything at once.  But, there were other considerations.  I let the
smile drop.

	"Kevin, you and the guys, you're like a family, right?"  He
nodded.  "In some respects, you're tighter than a family.  You rely on
each other in ways that no family ever will.  The guys aren't likely to
do anything that they know is going to hurt you."  He nodded again as I
continued.

	"But the fact remains that they are going to have some things to
say about me.  We both know that.  Families can speak their minds with
one another because they ARE families, held together by ties beyond
friendship.  And the fact is that the guys are going to speak their
minds about their feelings about me because they care about you.  They
want what's best for you."

	"D, you ARE what's best for me," he said.

	"I appreciate you saying that, Kev, cause I feel the same about
you," I sighed as I leaned against him.  "I tell you what.  How about
we get a room when we get there?  I know we're not staying tonight, but
it'll give me a place to go hang out while you go chat with your
`brothers', break the news to `em.  That way, they can work things out
without having to worry about my reactions, and you can feel a little
better about them meeting me."

	"Yeah, that sounds like a plan," he agreed.



Chapter 19

	I was wearing a hole in the carpet of our room.  It was actually
a pretty nice room as hotels went. There was only one bed, but it
didn't really matter much.  We'd be staying on a bus tonight, after
all.  I walked out on the little square of wood that apparently served
as the deck.

	Kevin had been gone for almost two hours now.  I hadn't really
expected things to take this long when I'd suggested that he go talk to
the other guys without me.  What could be taking so long?

	I sighed.  Apparently, the guys were reacting to the news of
Kev's new relationship a lot worse than either of us had thought they
would.  Well, at least one of the guys was, anyway.  I heard a keycard
in the door.

	`Finally,' I thought, turning around to face the door from where
I stood on the deck.  Kevin walked in, looking a little tired.

	"Bad day at the office, dear?" I said, trying to lighten his mood
a little.  It didn't work.

	"You could say that, I guess.  We've been fighting for an hour.
I'm not sure it's a good idea to take you in there," he said.  I could
tell by the tone in his voice that he was hurt.  I gathered that he'd
expected his `family' to react better.  I didn't blame him.  So had I.

	"I just can't believe how they're taking this.  They won't even
give it a chance," he said.  He looked like he may cry.  "I never
realized how little they trusted me."  I took him in my arms, hugging
him as tightly as I could.

	"Kev, they do trust you.  They also care a lot about you, man.
They don't want anything bad to happen, to you or to the group," I
hesitated before laying out my next suggestion.  "Kev, maybe it'd be
better if I head back to Tampa."

	"No!" he shouted, pulling away to look at me.  "Dammit, Dylan,
we're not gonna go run and hide from this," he said.  I blushed and
looked away.  That was exactly what I'd intended to do.  "If you and I
are gonna be together, and I want that SO bad, then the guys are just
gonna have to accept it.  If they don't...," he trailed off.

	"Kevin," I brought his eyes to mine, as serious as I could be,
"don't even go there.  I'm not worth what you're thinking."

	"That's just it, Dylan, you are.  You're worth it to me," he
said.  He voiced what he'd been thinking.  "If they can't handle you
and me together, then maybe it's time for the group to call it quits."

	I didn't say anything.  There was nothing to say.  In spite of
what Kevin said, I knew it would kill him to quit BSB.  I wouldn't let
that happen, no matter what.  I pushed him down on the bed.

	"Kev, you're exhausted.  Get a little nap.  You're gonna have to
leave to get ready for the show soon enough.  Get some rest."

	"Yeah, ok."  He seemed...defeated somehow.  It hurt so much to
see him like that.  "Maybe a little sleep'll help.  Will you stay with
me?"

	"I need to run downstairs and pick up a few things I forgot at
home, but I'll be back, ok?"

	"Ok, sweetie," that nickname was really growing on me.  "Hurry
back," he said as he lay down.

	"I will.  Sleep well, my love," I said softly as I leaned down
and planted a kiss on his forehead.  I slipped out of the room and down
the hall.  It was time I had myself a little chat with a certain
boyband.



	My anger built as I walked to Nick's room.  How could they do
this to him?  He trusted them to believe in him.  I trusted them, too.
I reached the door and knocked.  The door opened to Nick's smiling
face.

	"Dylan!  Man, it's great ta see ya!"  I smiled at him, in spite
of my anger.  I walked in the door.  To my surprise, he gave me a hug.
I got over my shock quickly enough and returned his hug, glad to have a
friend.

	"We need to talk," I said as I pulled away and looked over.
Brian, AJ, and Howie were sitting on the beds, looking less than
pleased to see me.

	"Sure, Dylan, come on in," Nick walked me the rest of the way
into the room.

	"Brian, AJ, Howie.  It's good to see y'all again," I said
politely, trying to hide the anger I was feeling at these guys.  They
simply nodded back.  "Now, you wanna fill me in on just what the hell
your problem is?"  This time, I didn't bother to hide my anger.

	I think I must've shocked them.  All of them just sat there.  I
decided to continue the frontal approach.

	"I know you don't like me.  I know you don't approve of me being
with Kevin.  I think I even know the reasons why, at least for some of
you," I stared daggers at Brian, who returned my look with calm
defiance.

	"Dylan," Nick started.  I shut him off with a look before turning
back to the others.

	"What I don't know is why you can't give it a chance.  Give ME a
chance.  Why can't you trust Kevin to do what's right?"

	"Because Kevin's the one who blew it before," someone answered.
To my surprise, it was AJ.

	"What?" I asked.

	"As much as we love Kevin, as tight as we are with him, the fact
is that it's his fault that Glen did what he did.  He got so caught up
in bein' in love with the guy that he never bothered to notice what was
goin' on around `im," he paused, apparently trying to decide where to
go next.

	"We all liked Glen, at least at first.  He actually worked for
the group before he and Kevin hooked up.  He was part of the stage crew
when we were on our early European tours.  We all got along with him,
and even considered him our friend.  Even Brian."  He looked over at
Brian, who nodded.  I just raised an eyebrow.

	"When he and Kevin got involved, things changed.  It took a
while, sure, but we all noticed the differences eventually.  He got
jealous.  Possessive of Kevin's time.  If Kevin wasn't around, Glen was
always wondering where he was.  He started getting paranoid that Kevin
was with someone else. He got especially crazy when Kev had to go out
with someone else, someone in public."

	"Kevin just let it slide.  Every time we asked him about it, he
just blew us off.  We were wrong, ya see?  He was in love, so we had to
be wrong.  We did what we could, but we had to let him do his own thing
eventually.  What we didn't know was how far `love' was taking him."

	I was fascinated, in spite of myself.  Kevin and I hadn't really
gone into a lot of detail about Glen.  Only what he had done to them at
the end.  This was more detail than I'd gotten before.

	"Glen started to get a little...weird.  He started getting into
some strange stuff with Kevin.  We never really got into the details of
it, but we did know something was going on.  One of Glen's little
hobbies involved a video camera," he said, looking up at me.  "Kev went
along with it because he loved Glen, and because Glen said he loved him
back."

	"It took a while, but Kevin finally caught on to Glen's shit and
broke it off with him.  Glen went through the roof.  Claimed he was
gonna out Kevin to the entire world.  The rest of us laughed it off.
Rumors like that go around all the time.  They don't matter, as long as
there's no proof. That was when we found out about Glen taping them
together.  Kevin's little love-fest-on-VHS gave Glen the proof he
needed."

	"Kevin took the whole thing pretty hard.  And, I'll admit, none
of us really gave him a break.  Well, except Nick, here," he nodded
towards Nick.  "He knew that it wasn't really Kevin's fault.  But the
whole situation came close to ending us, not only as a group but also
as friends, as brothers.  We were constantly fighting, blaming Kevin,
then blaming Glen, then back to Kevin.  He nearly broke down before
things finally settled between us.  None of us," and he flashed a look
at the other guys, "want to see him go through that again.  None of US
want to go through it again."

	AJ stood and walked over to me.  His face was more sad than
angry.  In some small way, I found this comforting.

	"It's pretty rare that Kev falls for someone.  That alone says a
lot about you.  He's a pretty tight person, and he rarely lets anyone
inside his walls.  But when he does, it's all the way.  He puts
blinders on to everything that might be wrong with that person.  He
trusts them absolutely.  In some ways, that's a great thing.  In our
life, it can be pretty disastrous.  Glen proved that."

	"You say you love Kevin.  Kevin says he loves you.  How do we
know it's always going to stay that way, man?  Glen said the same
things that you are.  How do we stop the same thing from happening
again?"

	AJ finally stopped, just stood there, looking at me.  Most of the
fight had drained out of me by now.  I realized that the guys weren't
against me because I was a guy or because they were afraid for their
careers.  They were against me because of the harm they knew I could do
to Kevin.  Like good brothers, they felt they were watching out for one
of their own.

	"AJ," I started, "I understand where you're coming from.  I do.
I love Kevin, more than I've ever loved anyone before in my life.  He's
more important to me than anything else.  I have almost no family left.
I only know of two people, besides Kev, that I would truly consider
friends," I looked over at Nick, "and after today, I'm not so sure I
haven't slammed the door on one of those."

	"I can't give you guarantees, guys," I turned to include Brian
and Howie.  "It's just not possible to guarantee life.  I want Kev and
I to make it, I want us to be forever, and I plan to work on that every
day.  But there are too many things that I can't control.  So I can't
guarantee you that Kev and I will always be perfect."

	"Just now, when Kevin came back, he told me that he'd leave the
group rather than leave me."  This brought a gasp from everyone, even
Nick.  I shook my head.  "I won't let him do that.  I know how
important you are to him, how important the music is to him.  No matter
what he says, I know I can never take that place within his heart."

	I paused, trying to gather myself for what I had left to say.  I
looked at AJ, meeting his eyes with a direct gaze.

	"If my leaving is what it will take to keep the group together,
to keep your family together, then I'll go.  I don't know what Kevin
will say or do, although I can guess.  But, I do know what would happen
to him, to us, if the group split because I chose to be with him.  He
would grow to resent me, possibly even hate me, for causing him to lose
out on his dreams.  I couldn't live with that."

	"Say the word, and I'll leave and not look back."

	"No you won't," said a calm voice from the door.



Chapter 20

	"Kevin!  What are you doing here?"  I asked.  I'd thought he was
still sleeping.

	"I could ask you the same question," he replied, his voice quiet
and softly scolding.  "When I realized it was taking you an awfully
long time to get your stuff from downstairs, I went looking for you.
When you weren't down there, I guessed where you'd gone."

	I walked over to him where he stood by the door.  I could tell he
was a little hurt that I'd lied to him.  I just hoped he'd forgive me
for it.  I reached out, slowly, to put my hand on his chest.  He
reached up and held it there, letting me feel his heartbeat while I
searched his eyes.  `I'm sorry,' I mouthed silently.  He pulled my hand
away, locking his fingers with mine as he walked into the room.

	"Dylan's not leaving, and neither am I.  We're gonna work this
out.  I don't care what it takes," he said with conviction.

	"Kevin," I started, but he wouldn't let me talk.

	"No, Dylan," his voice was like iron, "you're not leaving.  I
just found you, I just got you back thanks to some meddling by a good
friend," he tossed a glance at Nick, "and I refuse to let you go just
because of past mistakes.  We're supposed to learn from our mistakes
and move on, not spend our lives avoiding every possibility at
happiness because of those mistakes."

	I nodded.  I knew it was pointless to argue with him, and I
didn't want to, anyway.  I wanted to be with him.  I'd always wanted to
be with him.

	"I've waited my whole life for you," I said, not really realizing
I'd said it out loud.  He smiled.  I blushed.  Again.  The room got
quiet for a few minutes, until the one voice I never expected to hear
defending us did just that.

	"I say we give it a chance," Brian spoke up.

	"What?" I asked.  I guess my amazement was pretty funny, cause he
started to chuckle.

	"I said, I think we should give it a chance.  You two obviously
love each other," he said, "and Kevin deserves a little happiness."  He
turned to the other guys.

	"Have you noticed that Kevin has barely even dated since Glen,
much less had any kind of relationship?  He hasn't let anyone in,
hasn't let himself care, because he's been too concerned about us.
About how we would feel, and about how it would affect the group."  He
turned back to Kevin.

	"Maybe it's time to consider how he would feel.  We keep saying
that we're doing this for his good.  But maybe we're wrong.  Yeah, it
could be a mistake, it could be opening him up to pain down the road,"
he turned back to the guys, "but at least he'd have the comfort of this
time to sustain him in those times.  And, if by chance this thing works
out, then he will have happiness for the rest of his life.  And I, for
one, won't stop him from getting what happiness he can.  He deserves
it," he finished.

	I just sat there.  My mouth was so far open, NASA could've landed
the shuttle there, and I wouldn't have noticed.  Well, except for that
taste of rocket fuel, of course.  I was pretty much totally floored.
Brian, of all people, was defending my relationship with Kevin.  I
guess I wasn't the only one surprised.

	"Brian, what about...," Kevin began, then let it die.  Brian
stood up and came to him, smiling.

	"Kevin, there are dozens, hundreds of different religions out
there, all devoted to the one, true God.  I don't know that mine is
right, I don't know that mine is wrong.  I do know that one thing they
almost all have in common, the one belief that they all share is this:
God is love."

	"As much as I might not understand your...relationship with
Dylan, as much as I might even disapprove, which I don't by the way, I
can tell that you honestly love each other.  Who am I to stand in the
way of that love?"

	He smiled at Kevin, then turned it to me.  He really did have a
nice smile, especially when it wasn't tainted with anger or
disapproval.

	"Ever since we had dinner that night, and I caught on to your
attraction for each other, I've been thinking.  One particular verse
keeps coming back to me.  `Judge not, lest ye be judged.'  If God has a
problem with you being together, then it is for him to render
judgement.  Not me."  He looked straight at Kevin then.  "I'm sorry it
took me so long to understand that."

	I could've kissed him at that moment.  I damn near did, actually,
but I knew it would go over like a lead balloon.  So, I settled for a
nod and a `thank you'.

	Nick looked like he was about to explode, he was so happy.
Howie, too, had a smile on his face.  I guessed that maybe Brian's
argument had some affect on him.  AJ was still quiet, however.  All
eyes turned to him.

	"AJ?" Kevin asked, wondering what the `wild man' of the BSB was
thinking.

	AJ got up and slowly walked over to Kevin and I.  His face was
very serious, and I got a bad feeling in my stomach.  It got a whole
lot worse when AJ grabbed me around the waist, hugging me tight and
jumping up and down, screaming "I love you, man!" over and over.

	Everyone broke into laughter.  Well, everyone except me.  I was
still recovering from AJ's `love'.  Kevin turned me to him, taking me
in his arms.

	"See, I told ya.  Nothin' to worry about," he said with a slight
grin on his face.

	"Oh, yeah, nothin' at all.  If this is your idea of nothing," I
waved a hand at the guys around us, "I'd REALLY hate to see what you
thought was something!"

	Everyone started to laugh again.  Kevin leaned down and kissed
me.  It always amazed me the power his lips held over...everything.
The world shifted on its axis.  I was surprised that the other guys
didn't feel it.  Their loss, I guess.

	When we broke away, I turned over to Nick.

	"Nick, can I talk to you a second?  Alone?"

	"Sure, man," he replied, walking out towards the deck so we could
be alone.  "What's up."

	"Two things.  First, I wanna apologize for earlier.  I was pretty
harsh to you, and you totally didn't deserve it," I said, the remorse
apparent in my voice.  "This isn't the first time I've bit your head
off for something you didn't do, and I'll understand if you wanna, ya
know, pull back from being friends with me."

	"Don't be silly, man.  I'm not gonna bail just cause you got a
little snappy.  It happens to all of us.  And it's not like you did it
for no reason.  You were pretty upset, both times it happened.  So,
just fuh-ged-a-bah-dit," he said with a smile.

	"The other thing I wanted to say," I paused, "is `Thank you'.  If
you hadn't dragged me to your concert the other night, if you hadn't
let Kev stay with me...," my voice died away.  Nick turned more
serious.

	"Dylan, you're more than welcome.  I didn't just do it for you,
ya know.  Or for Kevin, either.  I did it for me.  Kevin's one of my
best friends, I guess you could even say he's an idol of mine.  And
even though you and I haven't exactly been life-long companions, I
still consider ya a bud.  And, if there's something that I can do to
make two friends who are hurtin' feel better, then I'm gonna do it.
End of story."

	"You're a pretty cool kid, there, Nicky," I said.  He punched me
in the arm lightly.

	"You're not so bad yourself, Dylly," he joked.  Ugh!  Dylly?!?!
We went inside and rejoined the other guys.

	We hung out a little longer, but I was tired, and I could tell
Kevin was, too.  We still had an hour before the limo would arrive to
take the guys to the venue, so Kev and I said goodbye and walked back
to our room.  When we got there, I fell on the bed with a deep sigh.

	I felt Kev sit down next to me.  I knew I had one other apology
to make.

	"Kevin," I began as I opened my eyes.  He silenced me with a
finger on my lips and a look.

	"You don't have to apologize.  I know why you did what you did,
and you did the right thing.  I would've never let you go there alone
if you'd told me you were going.  Let's just get some rest, ok?"

	I just nodded and started to turn over.

	"Dylan?"

	"Yeah, hon?"

	"Can we...um...would it be alright if I...,"

	"Spit it out, Kev, time's a wastin'," I said, smiling a little at
how tongue-tied he was.  Was this the same man who stripped himself
bare in my bathroom that morning, letting me ogle him to my heart's
content?

	"Would you mind if we took our clothes off?"  I turned over and
gave him a look.  "Not everything," he said quickly.  "I just...I'd
really like to feel you...all of you...against me," he said.  I loved
how shy he could get over the littlest things.  I didn't answer.

	Instead, I reached up and started pulling his shirt off.  He
smiled and did the same with me.  He reached for my belt, also, but
paused to look in my eyes.  I let him know it was ok as I reached for
his waist, too.  We were both down to our boxers in no time.  He lay
down next to me, spooning me against his warm, hard body.

	"I love you, Dylan," he said, as he lightly kissed my ear.

	"I love you too, Kevy," I sighed.  Sleep came soon after.