Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2000 08:59:10 PST
From: Purple Raven <purpleraven81@hotmail.com>
Subject: Friends and Lovers Five...

Hey.. sorry that it took so long, but I'm in university and papers must 
come first...
Here it is enjoy...

Raven.


Friends and Lovers

Five

Raven


  Disclaimers: If you don't already know this we have a problem.... IF you
are under eighteen leave now.. and if not cool.. But if you can't handle
male male sex relationships run....

Notes: The truth of Nicks feeling come out...

************************

  	As Brian and Nick walked to their rooms, after leaving AJ and
Howie, Nick knew he couldn't let it go any longer.
		"Bri, can we talk?"
		"Sure, let's hit my room." Brian replied opening the door
closest to them, they were given singles all except Howie and AJ, but the
management company booked five rooms anyway, they figured that the boys
needed their personal space, especially as they were getting older, and
were not so inclined to hide their significant others anymore. Kevin told
them that he wasn't going to hide Raven that he loved her and that meant
that she deserved respect from him and the fans, as they would just have to
accept that he was taken.
		"So" Brian turned to face him,
		"I have to tell you something."
		'What?"
		"Brian I'm gay."
		"That's all. I thought that you were going to tell me that
you were leaving the group."
		"You're not freaked?"
		"NO. If anything AJ and Howie have showed me that the bible
is not always right and loving a member of the same sex is not wrong."
		"Brian that is not all that I want to tell you."
		"So, what else do you want to tell me?"
		"I'm in love."
		"Who?"
		"You." Nick whispered, while looking right into his
eyes. Waiting for the look of complete revulsion, to come across his
face. Instead one of shock filtered through his eyes.
		"Me?"
		"Yeah."
		"Why?"
		"You.. well you're you. You befriended me and took me under
your wing. You made me your friend when you were closer in age to Howie and
AJ than me."
		"Nick....I..."
		"You're grossed out and you want me to leave." Nick
finished for him, heading to the door, at least he told him and he would
never regret that.
		"No, I'm flattered. But I'm not gay."
		"I know, I wanted to tell you before I told the rest of the
guys, and I guess that I just hoped, in here," he pointed to his heart
"that you might feel the same."
		"I understand."
		"Thanks frick I'll be going now."
		"No, stay and watch movies with me, or even play a few
games of Nintendo."
		"Movies, I left the game in Howie and AJ's room, I'm not
going to knock."
		"Me either. Movies?"
		"Yeah, what though?"
		"Lets just see what's on."
		"Cool, I'll go get changed and me you in here." Nick said
turning to the door, Brian nodded. He needed some alone time to deal with
this anyway.  Nick walked quickly to his room, he didn't want to risk
anyone seeing him cry. Holding in the tears was going to be hard enough,
without drawing attention of the rest of the guys, and he had never been a
quite crier. He couldn't keep the sobs in.
		"Nick?" Kevin opened his door; the youngest member of the
group in tears had his fatherly instincts in gear.
		"I'm fine Kevin." Nick tried to move past him.
		"No you're not. Tell me."
		"I'm sorry, I can't talk about it." Nick said.
		"Nick you told him."
		"Told who what?"
		"Brian that you are gay."
		"How did you know?"
		"Nick you haven't dated any girls and even Tera didn't
raise your interest."
		"Tera?"
		"Oh. Come on like you didn't notice that she was a hottie."
		"Where is Raven's number?"
		"What?"
		"Well somebody should tell her that her guy thinks that her
best friend is a hottie."
		"She knows. She asked." Kevin explained as he noticed the
look on Nick's face.
		"Kev. I've got to go. Meeting Brian to watch movies."
		"So things are good between you?"
		"I guess. We'll talk latter about it. I need to give him
time to adjust."
		"Cool."
		"Go call her. You know that you want to." Nick pushed him
into his room so that he could rush to get back to his fantasy.
	Nick rushed to get ready, and then hurried back to Brian's room,
when he arrived Brian was waiting for him, wearing a pair of basketball
shorts and a tank top. "So what are we watching" Nick asked, smiling at
him, "Let's see what's on." Brian moved over on the couch, so that he could
sit down.  "Thanks" Nick flopped down on the couch beside him, Brian
quickly flipped between channels. Nick was getting frustrated he went to
grab the remote.
	Brian moved to get out of his reach, while he continued to surf the
channels. "Hey, my room, my remote" Brian chided.
		"Okay so pick something."
		"Nothing looks good."
		"So stop and watch, maybe something will look good then."
Nick countered, flopping back on the couch closing his eyes. "Tell me when
you've picked."
		"Okay, I've picked something." Brian said, watching Nick.
		"What?" he replied opening his eyes, to a blank
screen. "There's nothing on."
		"I know." Brian replied, lying down on the opposite side of
him. His hand on his chest. "Nick can we talk?"
		"Sure."
		"On the floor." Nick looked at him, and shrugged, Brian was
always more comfortable on the floor when he wanted to talk, they had all
gotten used to it.
		"So what's up?" Nick asked as they settled on the floor.
		"I don't know how to feel, but I want us to be friends."
Brian said, attentively reaching his hand out towards Nicks.
		"Kay," Nick agreed his eyes trained on Brian's hand,
watching as Brian reached further towards him, grasping his hand twining
his fingers through his. If you asked Brian why he did he couldn't have
told you, he just needed to feel his hand. They laid there not talking just
being together, falling asleep.
		Through the night he gravitated towards Nick, to his
warmth. Waking latter that morning with his head pillowed on his friends
chest, listening to his heart. His arm around him, holding the young blond
close to him. It felt right, causing Brian to snuggle closer to Nick as to
keep warm.
		"Blanket on the bed." Nick mumbled
		"Moving bad." Brian replied.
		"Stay here." Nick smiled at him half asleep, as he pushed
himself up, quietly going to grab a blanket for his dream lover. Grabbing a
pillow at the last minute.
		"Here." he placed the blanket around him, with the pillow
under his head, he moved to leave.
		"Stay." Brian murmured, pulling on Nick's basketball
shorts, almost pulling them off.
		"Okay" Nick agreed, as he laid down beside him, as soon as
he was settled, Brian moved closer to him, giving him the pillow as he
cuddled to his chest.
		"Nick this feels good." Brian murmured.
		"Yeah it does." Nick agreed hoping that he would fall
asleep soon; having Brian close to him was not doing anything for him, or
his body. He had to pull away slightly so that Brian wouldn't notice.
		"Nick?"
		"Bri, this is not a good idea."
		"Why?"
		"You're doing things to me."
		"Really?" Brian raised his head, his eyes smiling at him in
the dim light
		"Yeah."
		"I'm sorry."
		"Bri it's okay, unless it bothers you."
		"I'm not sure how I feel. I don't know if it bothers me."
		"You're not sure?"
		"Nick waking in your arms felt right. Falling asleep in
them was even better."
		"Brian.."
		"I know. I need to think."
		"Yeah you do, I should leave."
		'Okay" Brian replied, he watched as Nick stood and headed
out the door, he had to stop himself from looking back, he knew that Brian
needed time, he should have never came back last night.
	Walking to his room, he heard Kevin moving around behind his door,
and knocked.
		"It's open, come in." Kevin called.
		"Kevin can we talk?" Nick asked.
		"Sure close the door, and come and sit down." Kevin
motioned him into the room.
		"Kevin can I tell you something?"
		"Sure Nick, I already know that you are gay so what else
can you tell me?"
		"I'm in love."
		"With?"
		"Brian."
		"Did you tell him?"
		"Yeah, he was okay with me being gay and all, but I don't
think that I should have told him."
		"That you are gay?"
		"No that I love him."
		"How'd he take it?"
		"Okay I guess. He fell asleep with me, and when we woke up
he was cuddled to me." Nick looked at the ground.
		"So?"
		"Kevin, I don't think that he loves me. I know that he
doesn't love me, and I don't think that he can handle knowing."
		"Give him some credit Nick. He's grown up, so have you,"
Kevin walked over to the young blond, god he was so tall now, taller than
him almost. He pulled Nick into his arms and just held him.
		"I messed up." Nick cried.
		"Shh, you and Bri will be fine."
		"Kev, why are you up?" Nick asked changing the subject.
		"I couldn't sleep."
		"Why?"
		"Raven wasn't home last night and she has exams, so she
should have been."
		"So call her now."
		"I tried, she still isn't home."
		"Or she's sleeping with the ringer off."
		"Her cell isn't on."
		"Kevin she's fine." Nick tried to soothe him. "I hope so."
Kevin replied, sitting on the bed. "Kev, are you going to be okay, I need
more sleep." Nick smiled at him.
		"Yeah, go sleep, I'll wake you for breakfast in a few
hours." Kevin pushed him out the door. Nick went, he wanted to call Tera
anyway, if something was wrong with Raven, she would know.


	Nick picked up the phone in his room, and dialed the now familiar
number, he had gotten close to Tera when they met, that night two years
ago. She was a big sister to him, she was so off the wall that he thought
back then before they knew about AJ and Howie that she would be perfect for
AJ, but then he realized that she was probably better for Kevin. But she
loved her friend too much to move on him, even though she wanted to.
		"Hello." Her quite voice said, as she picked up the phone
half asleep.
		"Tera?"
		"Nick?"
		"Yeah, sorry I woke you."
		"It's okay, what is it?"
		"It's Kevin."
		"What about him?"
		"Has Raven talked to you?"
		"Not since last week, why?"
		"She isn't answering her phone and he is worried about
her."
		"I'll call her and let you know. So how are you?"
		"Okay." Nick sighed.
		"Nicholas, start talking."
		"I told Kevin and Brian that I'm gay."
		"And?"
		"They took it well, but I also told Brian the other thing."
		"Oh Nicky, are you okay?"
		"I will be. When he deals with it."
		"If you need me, I'll be there."
		"I know, Tera I need to sleep, can I let you go?"
		"Yeah, you'd better email me." Tera said.
		"I will."
		"Nicky I love you."
		"I know and if I was older you'd want me in a heart beat."
		"Maybe if you weren't gay." Tera laughed. Nick smiled, as
they hung up. He climbed into his bed, and curled up, letting sleep take
over his body.  ****************

	Breakfast came faster than anyone wanted. The phone woke AJ first
as it rang in their room, he had to climb over his sleeping husband to
reach it.
		"Yeah?"
		"Food I hour in my room." Kevin said.
		"We'll be there." AJ hung up the phone. He leaned down to
kiss his husband awake. "I'm up," Howie mumbled rolling over to hide in the
pillows.
		"Really, I don't see it." AJ chuckled as his husband
flipped over to look at him with shock. "What, it's not." AJ smiled at him.
		"So what are you going to do about that?" Howie raised an
eyebrow.
		"Nothing, we have to be ready for breakfast in an hour."
		"So we'll be quick." Howie reached out to rub his palm
across his husband.
		"We have meetings."
		"So we can't be late." Howie pouted.
		"If we don't take long, we can play first." AJ conceded.
		"Yeah I get to play with my favorite toy." Howie smiled at
him, pulling him down so that he was resting on him. Howie arched under
him, bringing his naked skin into contact with his husbands, their
hardening cocks brushing against each other; Howie pulled AJ's head down,
capturing him in a deep kiss.
		"Good morning," AJ chuckled as he pulled away, looking deep
into Howie's brown eyes. Howie reached up for another kiss, opening his
lips to let him inside, wrapping his tongue around his.
		"Some one wants attention." AJ smiled reaching between them
to grab Howie in his hand. "I love you." Howie whispered, rubbing his back.
		"Howie will you make love to me again." AJ asked, lying
down beside him, Howie turned to look at him.
		"Are you sure? You aren't to sore?"
		"Howie I love you, having you inside me last night was so
nice. I want to feel that again." AJ replied looking deeply into his
eyes. "Okay, if you hurt even a little you tell me to stop." Howie replied
pulling him back on top of him "you control this." Howie smiled at him, AJ
leaned down to capture his lips, moving gently down his neck, nipping at
his collarbone, moving to his nipples, he kissed and sucked, causing his
husband to arch under him. Howie needed to feel his skin under his lips,
moving he sat up, and captured one of AJ's nipples in his teeth, flicking
the nipple with his tongue before letting it go. Knowing that he was trying
to keep his moans back, Howie kissed his collarbone, murmuring "It's okay,
be loud we have the entire floor."
		"The guys." AJ replied, shivering as Howie moved his body
down so that his mouth was facing his tattoo, he began to trace the 69
there. "They've heard it before." He replied, inching ever further down on
the bed, tracing a path with his tongue, until he found AJ's weeping
hardness, sucking just the head of it into his mouth.
		"Oh God." AJ screamed, as Howie pulled him down sharply, so
that he could deep throat him.
		"Howie I need you in me now." AJ cried reaching for the
nightstand, Howie handed him the lube, sitting up so that AJ could have
better access to his hard throbbing cock. AJ grabbed the lube putting some
on the palm of his hand, warming it in his hands before he wrapped his
hands around Howie, so that he could enter him better. Howie whipped a
small dab off his hand, and moved to place his finger at AJ's hole. "Alex?"
Howie asked before he went any further. "It's okay, I know that you
wouldn't ever hurt me." AJ smiled at him, moving down so that his hole was
right over Howie's finger, the tip just inside him, feeling even that small
part of his husband was right. AJ moved his hand away, and slowly sat down
over, him taking him into himself.
		"I love you Alexander James McLean."
		"And I you Howard Dwayne McLean."  AJ replied as Howie's
hardness entered him, filling him completely, making him complete.
		"Ohhhhh."
		"Alex?"
		"I'm okay." AJ smiled at him, moving up and quickly sinking
down he wanted this hard and fast. Howie's abs brushed against AJ's hard
cock as he was sitting facing him, his cock was trapped between their
bodies, as AJ moved on him, with him, the friction was unbearable, AJ shot
load after load, on to their cheats. The intense climax, was more than
Howie could bear as AJ closed around him, the pressure on his erection
caused him to shoot his cum inside him.
		"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." They moaned together, coming down off
the intense feelings.

	The commotion woke Brian from his half sleep, he had fallen back to
sleep after Kevin called to tell him about the meeting, he looked at his
watch he had only ten minutes to shower and get ready. He gathered the
blankets, and pillow threw them on the bed, before heading out to Kevin's
room. The door was open, he was the last to get there, even Howie and AJ
had beaten him, he quickly grabbed a plate and sat beside Nick. His dreams
were so confused after the blond had left that morning.
		"Guy's I have something that I need to say." Nick said as
Brian sat down.
		"So what is it?" Howie asked feeding AJ a piece of toast.
		"I'm gay."
		"Since?"
		"Since forever, how long have you been gay AJ?"
		"Okay it was a stupid question."
		"You guys are okay with it?"
		"We'd be hypocritical if we weren't"
		"I know, but three of the five guys look at guys,"
		"So all the more for Bri." AJ laughed.
	Through the whole thing Brian watched him, he was a beautiful man,
but what did that mean, what did his dream mean. Why was he kissing him,
and why did he like it? The questions rattled around his head. He knew that
being gay was not a bad thing, but being gay and a southern Baptist was. He
knew that Kevin could accept him. Wait, why did he think that he wasn't
gay.
		"Hey Brian you home?" AJ asked breaking him out of his
trance.
		"What?" He jumped.
		'You home?"
		"Not really."
		"Where were you?" Howie asked, looking at Nick, he had
noticed that Brian was looking at him,
		"On the concert." Brian replied looking him in the eye.
		'Sure" Howie smiled at the younger man.
		'Okay guys rehearsal. Sound check then a two hour break to
rest and shower." Kevin said breaking down the day for them.
		'When do we leave?"
		"Three hours AJ."
		"Cool I need to change my hair."
		"No you don't " Howie shot back,
		"What?" AJ replied looking at him,
		"I like it as it is."
		"I need a change. Nothing permanent" AJ said giving him a
compromise.
		"Okay so if I hate then it goes."
		"We'll see."
		"What?"
		"Howie, please, just wait to see what I do." AJ pouted,
		"Okay, fine." He agreed, laughing as AJ smiled at him,
sticking out his tongue.
		"Hey guy's meet downstairs in three hours." Kevin said,
shooing them all out the door. He wanted privacy when he called her, that's
even if she was home.

	Nick went to Bri's door, and knocked. "It's open, come on in."
Brian called from the bathroom; he just finished brushing his teeth.
		"Hey man." Nick called to let him know who was there.
		'Hey Frack."
		"What's up?" Brian asked.
		"Other than me," Nick muttered under his breath, as Brian
walked back into the room in a towel.
		"What Nick I didn't hear you."
		"Nothing."
		"Oh, kay, so what do you want to do?"
		"Nintendo?"
		"Yeah, Oh wait it is still in ..."
		"AJ and Howie's room. "
		"I'll get it." Nick needed to get out of the room, and
collect himself. He quickly walked over to AJ and Howie's room, and
knocked.
		"Hey Nick, it waiting for you." Howie let him by.
		"Thanks." Nick grabbed it so that Howie could sleep.

	Quickly he walked over to Brian's open door, and went to hook up
the station.
		"Frack, what do you want to play?"
		"Pick something, I'll be right there, I need to finish
shaving."
		"Kay, hurry up, I wanna kick your but." Nick called back.
		"Just grab Mario Cart."
		"I already did."
		"Who are you?"
		"Yoshi who else?"
		"Give me."
		"Mario I know."
		"Okay. Okay, just give me the controller."
		"Okay let's play." he took the controller as Nick handed it
to him, leaning over without thinking and kissing him on the cheek.
		"Whoa!"
		'Sorry I shouldn't have."
		"No. Bri don't apologize, especially if you meant it."
		"I'm not sure that I did, I just wanted to."
		"Brian I don't mind, it was kinda nice." Nick replied
leaning over to kiss him on the cheek in return.
		"Can we take this slow?"
		"What slow?"
		"This"
		"Brian what is this?"
		"I'm not sure."
		"Brian you really need to think, I don't want to get hurt."
		"I won't hurt you." Brian kissed him, really kissed him
tongue and all.
		"Frick if this is an experiment tell me. If it's a joke
tell me. Please be serious with me, these are my feelings."
		"Nick, this isn't an experiment, I promise that. I just
kinda like the idea of you loving me, but I don't know if I can return
them."
		"I understand. I shouldn't have told you."
		"I've been thinking about it all since you told me." Brian
whispered.
		"And?"
		"I'm attracted to you, but I can't pursue that."
		"Okay so we forget I said anything, and try to be Frick and
Frack again."
		"No I want to talk to you."
		"I don't. It hurts to much I love you and you just told me
that you were attracted to me, but you couldn't act on it."
		"Nick I'm confused, I'm sorry."
		"I know." Nick climbed to his feet, and left the room, he
didn't want Brian to see him cry. He would feel guilty, and he didn't want
that.
		"Nick?"
		"Brian I need space. I'll see you at rehearsal." Brian
nodded.

*****************

Sorry I couldn't resist.. I need to sleep anyway...

Raven...

Comment welcome...
purpleraven81@hotmail.com