Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 03:09:57 -0500
From: Kathrine <storykath@operamail.com>
Subject: How Can You Love Me, chapter sixteen

Legal disclaimer: this is fiction. Don't read if you're not old enough.

Author's note: another chapter. I hope this is better than the last one...
Tell me what you guys think, the email adress is storykath@operamail.com
Love and looneytunes from Kat.

 - chapter sixteen -

"We better get up," Lance said in the end of a long, lazy morning spent
cuddling and kissing in bed. "I don't want to," Justin whined, currently
laying halfway on top of Lance, face nuzzled in against his neck. "I'm
comfortable." Smiling over the way Justin's breath tickled his neck when he
spoke, Lance answered: "But I'm hungry, sweetheart! And the others are going
to wonder why we haven't shown up for breakfast yet."

The petname set Justin's heart doing joyful flips and he lifted his head a
little. "If you're hungry, have a piece of me," he offered, then blushed.
Which, of course, set Lance smiling. "I'd like a piece of you," he said, "but
I wouldn't know where to start! You're all full of munchable parts." Puuting
his hand on the back of Justin's head, he guided him down again so Lance could
let his lips find Justin's right ear. Nibbling along the earlobe, he kept his
hand entangled in Justin's curls. When he let go, Justin's face was flushed
and his breath shivering.

"Did you like that?" Lance mused. "I did," Justin replied. Resting his head on
Lance's chest, he savoured the feel of silky, warm skin under his. Laying
perfectly still, he could even feel Lance's heartbeat. "Lance?" Justin asked a
little timidly. "Can I ask you something?" Playing with Justin's curls again,
Lance answered: "Sure you can."

"Have you, you know... Have you ever done it? Like in...ahm...gone all the
way?" For a a little while there was silence between them. "Yes," then Lance
said. "I have have. "And yes, even with a guy too. It was a while after I
joined the band. A friend of mine from back home." "And you've been seeing
girls too," Justin commented. "So you like both then?" "I'm bi," Lance
answered, "I've known that forever. I haven't told anybody because I knew it
was a possible threath to the group. And I hadn't met any guy I thought was
worth the chance of risking everything over." Lance took a deep breath. "Until
now."

"I know how that feels," Justin whispered. "I used to be so happy everytime I
found myself attracted to a girl, hoping that this was it, this was the time I
was going to fall in love for all time to come. But it was always just a
simple crush and I would find myself head over heels for her brother or friend
or something like that... So I decided that I should just pick a nice girl and
stay with her, hoping that straightness might rub off on me or something. He
gave a little snort. Then Lance felt him tighten his hold. "And then all of a
sudden there was you... And I had to realise that this nice girl would never
do. Because all I ever wanted, all the things I needed someone to be, I found
right there in you."

"I love you, Justin," Lance said. "And I want this to work between us." "Me
too," Justin told him. "And I love you too." Snuggling up as close as humanly
possible, Lance had one more thing to say. "I would like you to stay with me,
when we get back home. So we can have some time alone together." "I'd like
that," Justin answered. Biting his lower lip, he made sure to hide his
nervousness from Lance, hoping that his inexperience when it came to sex,
wouldn't make Lance think he was a baby and decide that he didn't want to be
with him anymore.

"And I also don't want you to feel any pressure of us going further than what
you're comfortable with," Lance continued. "I'm not ready to go straight to
bed either...I think we need to get to know each other as boyfriends more than
just friends first. "How did you know what I was thinking?" Justin had to ask,
slightly embarrased over that Lance could read him so well. "Because you
suddenly became all tense," Lance explained, "like a huge Justin-knot. I
figured that was what was bothering you." "Thanks," Justin answered. "It was.
I have never gone all the way with anybody, but I would like for that somebody
that I do...you know...
I would like for that person to be you."

"Come here," Lance told him and Justin moved so Lance could take him properly
in his arms.
"I would be honoured to be your first, curly. But not until we are both
ready." "That sounds good to me," Justin said. "But in the mean time..." He
placed his lips on Lance's. "We get to make out lots and lots, right?" "More
than lots and lots," Lance answered. "Maybe we'll even break the other
turtledoves' records." "Then we better start now,"Justin said, looking
serious. "I think so, too," Lance agreed. Then Justin's arms were around his
neck, pulling him in for another kiss.

**********

For the half an hour he had been awake, Joey had been looking at JC. His
boyfriend was laying on his back, bed covers pushed down to his stomach and he
was still sleeping. For the moment Joey didn't mind, he had a lot to think
about and a sleeping, naked JC next to him was a excellent rest for the eyes
while he was thinking.

He was going to wake him up in a while, but for now he needed just to look at
him, and feel how much he loved him, how thankful he was for him. Last night
had had every promise of ending in disaster, yet JC had managed to fix it all
somehow. Probably Joey would still be a little scared the next time too, but
the fear was already diminishing, and he knew that JC would never do anything
to hurt him. With a small shudder Joey promised himself that last night was
the last time he would let the memories take control of him like that.

"From now on," he thought, running a finger down JC's upper arm. "I am not
even going to think about Jim. As far as I am concerned he never existed. I'm
going to concentrate on JC and me and make this relationship work. I'll be
everything JC wants, I'll be the perfect boyfriend."

Leaning in he kissed JC gently on the cheek, causing his lover to smile in his
sleep. Checking the watch on the nightstand, Joey knew he ought to wake JC up.
Their flight back home was leaving in three hours. The problem was that he
didn't really want to, he wanted to lay there and watch JC sleep some more.
And then when he felt ready he would wake JC up with a long, sweet kiss.
Looking at the watch again, Joey decided to go straight to the kiss.

Trailing a little path of kisses over JC's cheek, he found his boyfriend's
lips and let the tip of his tongue taste him. Underneath him JC made a little,
sleepy sound. Deepening the kiss just a hint, Joey let his tongue pass JC's
lips to brush against his tongue teasingly.
Giving another little sound, JC lifted his hand to let his fingers run through
Joey's hair. "You awake now?" Joey said, softly biting down on JC's mower lip.
"This is the kind of wake up call I like," JC mumbled againt his boyfriend's
lips. "This is the kind of wake up calls I like to give," Joey replied, moving
down to kiss JC's neck.

Now fully awake JC let his arms encircle his boyfriend. "You feeling ok?" he
asked gently. "Yeah," Joey answered, kissing his way up till he reached JC's
chin. "I'm feeling ok."
"Look at me," JC" asked. Lifting his head, Joey did so. "You really feeling
ok?" JC asked.
"I think so," Joey said. "No, I know I am feeling ok." Laying back down again,
he rested his head on JC's shoulder. "I wish we didn't have to leave. Tomorrow
night I'll be at my parents' and you'll be at your place." "Joey," JC started.
"There is something I want to ask you. I know it may be a little early, but I
really want this for us." Hearing a little hesitation in JC's voice, Joey knew
that this was something big. "What is it?" he asked, placing his arm over JC's
chest.

"I want us to move in together," JC said. "I don't want us to have to spend
any nights apart, or days. And I want a place that is just ours." For a moment
Joey couldn't seem to find the power to speak. "Honey?" JC said, his voice a
little nervous. "Joey, if you think we shouldn't do it, please say so. I
doon't want to force you into anything you don't want."
"But I do want it," Joey said. "I was just... I want us to live together,
baby, I really do.
You and me, in our own place...I like the sound of that." "So do I," JC
replied. "I love you so much, Teddybear, I can't stand the thought of us being
apart. Tomorrow we go looking for a house, what do you say? One night without
you is about all I can take."

"It's all what I am going to take," Joey said. "If we don't find a place that
let us move in right away, I'm going to drag you to a hotel or whatever. My
parents can say what they want, but I need to have you beside me at night."
"Then we'll just stay at my place," JC smiled, "until we find a house. I want
a house. With a garden, and a swimming pool." "It has to be secluded," Joey
added, a smile forming on his face. "So noone will see us doing naughty things
in that pool. And I want one of those big veranda's, the ones that go all the
way around the house." "Anything," JC promised, hugging his boyfriend. "I'll
get anything you want."

**********

An hour later JC, Joey, Justin and Lance was ready for breakfast, but found
themselves short one group member. As they were sitting down to eat, Justin
asked if any of them had seen Chris. "Not since we left the club," JC
answered. "Isn't he back yet?" "I don't think so," Lance said. "I stopped by
his room, noone answered." "He's probably with Allie," Joey said, smiling
widely. "I know the two of them... Unless Allie's got married or something,
I'll bet my arm that they're back together now." "You better be right,
sweetie," JC said, pointing a piece of toast at Joey. "I like your arm. I like
both of them. So you're going to be needing them."

At that moment the door was opened and the man in question walked in. Still
wearing what he had worn at the club, smiling slightly and completely
starry-eyed. "Good morning!" he exclaimed. "Good morning, Chris," Justin
snickered. "Have fun last night?" Making a face at Justin, Chris answered.
"Yes, I did, Just. And probably not in the way you think. Allie and I spent
the night talking. After the club closed, we went to this little cafe where we
was until this morning." His smile got brighter. "And we decided to try again.
She is flying back home in two days. I'm going with her, to see my mum and my
sisters. And for us to have some more time together."

Getting up from the table, Joey gave Chris a warm hug. "That's great, Chris.
Allie's the perfect girl for you. The two of you are just not right without
each other." Chris was practically beaming. "I know!" A round of hugs and
congratulations alter and all five of them were settled down at the table,
Justin looked up. "Ahm...Lance and I have something to tell you... We're
together." He looked confused as Chris, Joey and JC looked at each other and
broke down laughing. "Christ, curly!" Chris stated. "I think everybody knew
that except for you two! And I'm so very happy for you, you'll be good for
each other." JC and Joey agreed. "I guess this is the day for good news," JC
said, taking Joey's hand. "Joey and I are moving in together as soom a we find
a house."

"This is great!" Chris said happily. "Guys, when I get back, Allie is coming
back with me to spend some time in Orlando with me, I am going to have the
mother of all parties. To celebrate this. I am just going to invite family and
friends, people who know us and we don't have to hide around. It's going to be
awesome!" Raising his glass of orange juice, JC proposed a toast. "To
parties," he said, "and getting wasted and having sex on the back lawn."
"Hear, hear," Chris said, raising his own glass. "You feeling lucky, Tigger?"
Joey asked while raising his glass. "I hope to be," JC answered innocently,
the feel of Joey's hand on his thigh made him smile. Justin and Lance joined
in on the toast, both thinking about what the two of them could get up to, if
maybe on a little more private place than the back lawn.

When breakfast was over the all retreated back to their rooms to pack up and
getting ready for the flight. A car was coming for them and took them to the
airport. The flight was on time and they got inside and found their seats.
Justin and Lance sat next to each other, Chris by the window. Joey and JC took
all of five seconds to cuddle up to each other on the other side of the isle.
Both of them were looking a bit sad. "When we get home, I'm not going to see
you until tomorrow morning, love," JC said, "I hate that." "Me too," Joey
agreed. "But it's just for one night... I don't think I'm ever going to be
able to sleep without you though..."

"What's the matter?" Justin asked from where he was sitting. "Why the sad
faces? Anything wrong?" JC sighed dramatically. "Joey and I won't be able to
spent the night together. After we get home we won't be seeing each other
before tomorrow."

"That's the whole thing?" Justin asked, "that's what you look like your both
going to start crying over?" "And where are you staying when we get back,
Justin?" Joey asked. "Well..." Justin started. "With Lance." "You so not get a
vote is this," Joey decided. "I agree with Joey," Chris said, looking a little
lost himself. "I won't be seeing Allie before I meet her at the airport in two
days. She's flying here and then we're both flying back home."
Lance and Justin looked at one another. "Now I'm feeling guilty for us staying
together," Lance said. "Me too," Justin answered quitely. "Don't be," Chris
said from next to Lance. "Just let the three of us sulk a little and ignore
us." "Ok," Lance smiled. "We'll do that."

In their corner Joey and JC was discussing their respective families. "I want
to tell mom and dad about us," Joey said. "They'll understand, and I want to
say that we are together before I tell them that I'm moving in with you. But
what I don't want them to know, is what really happened between Jim and me."
"It's your decision, babe," Jc said carefully. "But I think you should tell
them, and don't hate me for saying this... maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea for
you to see someone to talk to about what happened to you. Somebody
professional."

It took a long while for Joey to answer. "I'll think about it," he said in the
end, "ok?"
"Ok," JC replied. He wasn't satisfied with that answer, but decided that
following the issue wsan't going to do either of them any good. Not yet. "I'm
going to tell my parents that I'm gay tonight," he said instead, "and that I
love you, and that we'll be moving in together."
"They don't know?" Joey said, turning so he could look at JC. "No," JC
admitted. "I haven't told them. In fact, you were the first one I did
tell...or did I tell you? I don't think I actually said it... We just kissed."
"I really can't remember," Joey admitted. "All I really could focus on there
and then was that you kissed me."

"That was sorta the thing on my mind at that time too," JC smiled. "So,
Joey... I'm gay."
Faking surprise Joey looked at him. "Really?" Looking very serious, JC nodded.
"Really."
"You want to know a secret too?" Joey asked, putting his mouth close to JC's
ear. "I already knew that..."