Date: Mon, 09 Sep 2002 23:31:43 +0000
From: Lady Misterious <lionessy@hotmail.com>
Subject: i am here for you 19
CHAPTER 19 -
"What you mean?" - Brian asked lifting his tired eyes to look at
AJ.
"Brian... I'm not sure if I should tell you this. Even because I
don't know if its true, maybe this is a lie and I'll be punishing someone
that has nothing to do with the whole thing..."
"AJ, you are confusing me, please go on."
"I think... I think I know something. Are you sure Leighanne knew
about Nick being raped by Taison?"
"Yes, I told Leigh."
"Its just that nothing of this makes sense... I know I gotta tell
you what I know, and maybe you can help me figure out the reason why it
might have happened..."
"J, stop talking in riddles! Go straight to the point! Did Leigh
have something to do with that?" - Brian's voice was weak.
"No! I mean, I don't know. Maybe. Yes."
"You are driving me crazy! Please tell me what you know."
"I said I was gonna do that. The thing is... haven't you asked
yourself how Taison got Nick's address?"
Brian thought a little leaning backwards to rest his back on the
sofa, his eyes looked with AJ's.
"Leighanne gave him?" - Brian asked serious.
"I don't know... it can be. When I ran into Taison at Nick's I
asked him how did he find the house and stuff... He said he ran into your
wife at Jive's building and Leigh said we missed him, she gave him our
address, including Nick's. I swear to God after I knew what happened I was
sure Leighanne didn't know about Nick!"
Brian's face lost even more color, his fingers were nervously
touching his own lips.
"I know Leighanne spent the whole afternoon out..." - Brian
stopped for a long time and AJ waited for him to go on. - "... She was on
the phone all night when that happened to Nick... Maybe she did that so
that no one could warn me from what was going on... And AJ, I can't think
of what might have happened if Kevin didn't have set up a meeting for us,
sending Howie to my house to tell me, and what if Howie didn't have
mentioned about Taison visiting Nick?! Oh, God!"
"Calm down, Brian..."
"No, AJ. It all makes sense. Leighanne has always been jealous of
Nick... How didn't I see she hated him?"
AJ stared at Brian without knowing what to say.
"I can't go home... I'm not ready to face her. If I see Leighanne
in front of me right now I'm gonna kill her, AJ! Oh, my God! Nick can die
because of her sick jealousy!"
"You can stay here, Brian. One thing at once. Tomorrow we have the
meeting. The press is on fire to know what went on, why did the son of the
millionaire Jordan Harriel shoot Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys...
First we go through this, then we decided what to do about Leighanne. I
mean, we have no proofs! We can't accuse her Brian, you gotta see this
too..."
"I just don't understand it, AJ. Why now? Why did Taison come
looking for Nick now? Why did he even come? I mean, I'll hate Leighanne
forever for giving him Nick's address, but I sorta can understand how it
happened... Maybe Leighanne went to Jive's building, saw Taison there and
immediately came up with this evil plan to make him meet Nick... Thats it!
But still... why now? What was Taison doing here? Why did he even want to
see Nick? And why would he be so angry with Nick? It is all in the past, I
don't understand why this came up, and I don't understand Leighanne's part
on this... That she gave him the address I'm sure. But..."
"But what, Brian?"
"I'm afraid there is more, AJ."
------------------------------------------------------------
The show business was on fire with the most recent news. The whole
story of Nick's life came up on a sunny afternoon in Tampa City when his
friends from the Backstreet Boys got together to explain what happened that
caused their little fellow to be in coma at the hospital right now.
There were no more secrets from the fact that Nick had been raped
when he was fourteen years old by Taison Harriel, a man that had already
produced the group with his father. It shocked people from all over the
world the story of a close friend raping a kid, almost killing him after.
It was still not clear what were the reasons why Taison came back
and why did he shoot Nick. Nothing was said about how he got the address,
it was a mystery for them too. Neither AJ nor Brian said anything. They
could never say they suspected Leighanne gave Taison what he wanted.
A week from that day the whole world wouldn't talk about anything
else other than the horrible and sad story of a Backstreet Boy that was now
in deep coma. Thousand fans praying and sending letters from all over the
place. And as the world kept spinning faster than ever, Nick Carter laid in
his bed at the hospital, unaware of everything.
Jordan Harriel felt like he had died. All the magazines were
publishing the story about his son being taken to court by having raped,
and now by trying to murder a person. Someone that had been his friend.
Jordan couldn't even go to work, so ashamed he was of his son. He
had always been a decent person and this was what he tried to teach
Taison... his only son, his proud, his love... What did he do wrong? He
loved Taison so much...
One of his co-workers asked if he was ashamed his son was gay.
"Taison could've been a drag queen and I'd still love him with all
my heart! It doesn't matter what he is... if he was gay and it made him
happy, I would be the happiest person on Earth! But hurting a kid... raping
someone, taking away their dignity... And now going back and trying to kill
them?! Thats not my son... Not the son I loved."
Jordan knew Taison would be taken to court, and he arranged the
best lawyers to make sure his son went to jail. Taison would finally learn
that his father wouldn't cover up for him, just as he always did when he
was a child. Always covering up Taison's little tricks, his
fights... always protecting him... Now was time Taison learned the lesson
himself.
------------------------------------------------------------
He was judged and condemned. Taison would be in jail for the rest
of his life. And just when the police officer locked him, he made sure to
tell the other prisoners what was his crime. Besides trying to murder
someone he told everyone Taison was a rich playboy that raped his friend
when the boy was fourteen. He told Taison raped a kid, and that was
enough. He knew Taison would suffer much more than just being locked with
killers. They would make Taison their bitch.
Having been always gay, Taison was never a passive. He fucked
other guys, but didn't let anyone fuck him. In this mind it was only for
faggs... Only faggots were fucked in the ass. Taison would never let this
happen to him.
But now... going to jail... he tried to ask his father to get a
private cell... He didn't hear him. His father helped putting him in
jail. Taison knew he was damned when he saw all those dirty men staring at
him after what the police officer said.
"Hey sissy... so, you raped a little boy, huh?" - one of those man
asked approaching him.
Taison gasped and swallowed hard.
The police officer grinned and left. The prisoners would have some
fun. Taison would keep them busy for months...
------------------------------------------------------------
Brian went back to AJ's house after the collective. Leighanne
called several times a day but Brian didn't want to answer her. He knew she
had something to do with Nick being at the hospital right now, and he just
couldn't talk to her right now. Not until he knew everything that
happened. And he could feel it wouldn't take long.
AJ had left and Brian was all alone at his house. Twenty five days
Nick had been in coma. Brian went to the hospital as he did everyday, and
back home now he couldn't help but thinking of Nick.
It just wasn't fair... He needed to talk to Nick so desperately!
Things had been so wrong between them... Brian knew Leighanne stepped
between them like a rock, keeping one from being with the other. He
wondered why she did that. Didn't she know Nick was his friend? He loved
them both in different ways! Even coz Nick was a guy and Leighanne the
woman of his life...
I mean, he couldn't love Nick... could he?
For sure he loved Nick... he could remember what happened in the
country house... It felt so right being there for Nick... saving
him... holding and kissing him... But he did this only coz he had to, like
Nick was his friend, he needed to help him!
Just why couldn't Leighanne understand that? Nick understood
Brian. Nick understood everything, even what Brian didn't put into
words. And Nick never questioned why Brian wasn't there with him all the
time. Nick never asked Brian for his care or love... He loved and cared for
him because he wanted, because he couldn't help... maybe the difference is
that with Nick they were always in the same level of loving the other. They
shared love, not claimed for it.
Brian remembered what he told Nick about finding the one back that
days in the country house. Did Leighanne know who much she meant for him?
She made Brian let go of Nick to be with her!
Brian stopped everything and realized something.
Once he had kind of left Nick behind for Leighanne he had never
been as happy as he was when he had his little Frack by his side. Now, what
was this?
------------------------------------------------------------
Clouds.
He was trying to see the sun, but the heavy clouds kept him. He
didn't know who he was neither where he was right now. He only knew he was
missing something. Actually he could feel he was missing lots of things,
but one thing was stronger inside of him. He missed it. Was it a person?
Did he miss a person? Why wasn't him feeling any kind of pain? Was he
asleep?
Slowly images formed in his dreams. Faces... one that scared him,
but he also didn't know why. He could see images of pain, suffer and
agony. Right after it came the loneliness of not knowing anything about
yourself. And later, later he could see that face... That loving face and
even not knowing who it was he could feel himself fighting hard to clear
the puddle keeping from seeing things straight. But he could feel that
face... And he knew he loved it.
He knew nothing, but that face was keeping him there. That face
made him want to scream and see what was going on. Where he was, what was
happening to him. Sometimes he could even hear that voice, and for some
reason he did know that face was familiar, that face was safety, that face
was love. He didn't know who himself was, but he reached for that face to
try to see it. And just when he was about to touch it, it faded out right
in front of him. The clouds surrounding him and taking both people away, in
a confusing and foggy dream that repeated over and over in his mind.
Always the clouds keeping him from seeing.
The clouds and then the evil face. Right then images and finally
that mysterious person. It was getting repetitive, but every time was like
the first for him. Who ever he was.
The clouds were the beginning and the end of his dreams. Always.
------------------------------------------------------------
Brian heard the door bell and quickly answered thinking it would
be AJ, he had forgotten the keys, so...
"Jordan!?" - Brian shocked stepping back.
"Hey, son... Can I come in for a second, Brian?"
"Sure... But AJ ain't home..."
"I know, I want to talk to you, not him."
Both men entered and sat on the sofa.
"How did you know where to find me?"
"Brian, I'm one of the rulers of Jive... Its not difficult." -
Jordan sighed and smiled heavily. Brian knew Jordan was hurt because of
Taison. He was a wonderful person and loved Taison more than everything in
this world.
Jordan also knew Brian was hurt. He didn't show, but he was. Deep
inside. It was a different kind of pain, maybe Brian didn't even know
that, but his eyes said it all. He loved Nick. He loved Nick and he was
dying inside without him.
"Brian... I'm here to talk to you. I want you to tell me
everything that happened with Nick. I want to know everything Taison did. I
need that. And I know you'll be the best person to tell me everything, I
know you're the one to find Nick after Taison... er... you know, and you
are also his best friend, you know him more than anyone..."
"How do you know I found him?"
"I'll tell you, Brian. Just like I'll tell you why Taison came to
Tampa. But first I need you to tell me everything you know son."
Brian's heart raced. He would finally be able to solve the puzzle.
"Are... are you sure you want to know everything?"
"Yes... yes, Brian, please. Tell me."
Brian sighed.
During two hours Brian told Jordan everything that went on from
the day Taison raped Nick up to what they were going through today.
He told things about the rape no one else besides Nick and him
knew. He told Jordan how Taison got Nick to go the room with him, how Nick
didn't have a clue of what was gonna happen, how he tried to seduce Nick
and finally how he almost killed him. He told everything Nick had told him
once, about the broken ribs keeping Nick from moving and defending himself.
Jordan was crying but he insisted Brian went on.
Brian told him Nick fainted when Taison began to rape him, and he
kept unconscious for two hours... He also said everything that happened
when he found Nick. His shock not only physical, but the way Nick was
acting. His fear in being touched, the way he felt humiliated, the way he
asked Brian if he hated him for what Taison did.
"Oh, my God! My son is a monster..." - Jordan gasped crying.
"I'm sorry. There is much more. Maybe I should stop..."
"Don't! Go on, Brian..."
Brian told him about the meeting when Nick faced Taison again. He
wanted to know if he regretted what he had done, and instead Nick had heard
all those terrible words that made his proud fade and he felt disgust of
himself. Brian said Nick tried to kill himself. Brian told Taison's father
about that period when Nick wouldn't let anyone touch him. Even if just
briefly it freaked him out. He told Jordan about the nightmares and Nick's
agony about Taison coming back. Brian also told him he got through to Nick
during one of this nightmares and he said how hard it was for Nick to get
his life back.
Jordan was the first person to know everything that went on in
Nick's life. He told him that Nick couldn't feel comfortable with
girlfriends, always thinking he was dirty, and Brian also told him about
the day when Nick opened up his heart to him.
Brian didn't explain how he saved Nick, but when he finished the
story Jordan was able to understand how deep Brian and Nick were connected
and how amazingly big was the pain Brian was going through.
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this." - Jordan said. - "Nick
deserves being happy! And I feel you love him so much..."
Brian closed his eyes for some seconds. He did love Nick. But how
deep was this love?
"Jordan, I'm also sorry. You are one of the most honest,
responsible and loving people I know. You deserved the best son ever! I
know how much you love Taison..."
"He is dead, Brian. Taison died to me."
Jordan was quiet for a long time, waiting until the tears stopped
dropping.
"I think I still own you some information, Brian, am I right?"
"Yes." - Brian had his eyes wide opened as his heart raced again.
"I think... I'm sure Taison came to Tampa to find Nick because of
that letter."
"A letter?"
"Yeah. Let me tell you. A month ago I received this anonymous
letter telling me everything that Taison did. Of course it didn't have all
the details you told me, but it said there you were the one to find Nick
after Taison left. Thats how I knew it. The thing is, when I read that you
can imagine how I felt! I mean, Taison was everything to me! To me and to
his mother too. That night I asked him about Nick, and in his eyes I could
see the painful truth. That letter hadn't been a joke. Taison didn't know
how I got to know about what he had done, and then I told him someone
mailed me a letter telling me it all. That night I also told him to pack
his things and get out of my house and life. I said I didn't even wanted to
see him again and that I would disinherit him. Taison got furious and
left. That was the last time I saw him."
Jordan sighed.
"I think Taison thought Nick was the one who sent that letter and
he came here decided to get back on him. I should have seen it coming, I
should have done something and maybe avoiding this from happening, I'm so
sorry, Brian..."
"Calm down, Jordan, its not your fault!" - Brian looked at him for
some moments. - "Jordan, do you have this letter here with you?"
"Yes..."
"Can I see it?" - Brian asked. His heart raced even more.
"Sure." - Jordan took a long piece of paper from an inner pocket
on his suit. He gave it to Brian.
Brian looked at Jordan while opening it. He did it as slow as his
curiosity allowed him to. Somehow Brian was ready for what he saw. Brian
froze staring at that delicate writing.
"Can you keep a secret?" - Brian asked without taking his eyes out
of the paper.
"Sure! Do you know who wrote this?!"
Brian nodded.
"Please, tell me, son! Who wrote it, Brian?"
He took a deep breath before answering.
"My wife did it, Jordan."
"Your wife?! But how, why? I don't get it! Makes no sense, Brian!
Are you sure?"
Jordan was talking but Brian's mind was somewhere else. He had
been hurt. Deep. And he had been hurt twice. Betrayed by the person he
loved, by someone that he devoted his love to, someone who was drifting him
away from Nick and that planned to take him away from him forever.
"Yes, I'm sure. Please, I don't want to explain it. Not now. May I
keep the letter?" - Brian's eyes were pleading.
"Of course, Brian."
"Thanks."
Jordan stared deep into Brian's blue eyes.
"I just wish I could help you with the pain that is burning inside
of you now."
Brian looked back at him and tears dropped down his cheeks.
------------------------------------------------------------
Brian waited for AJ to come home and when he arrived Brian
left. He said he would go home. He didn't explain AJ why he changed his
mind, he just said he needed to see Leighanne and that he shouldn't be
concerned, Brian would be fine.
It was night when Brian arrived in his house. Leighanne met him at
the living room.
"Oh, my God! Finally!" - Leighanne smiled widely going towards
Brian. - "You have no idea how much I missed you, my love... I was here
going mad thinking what was going on with you that you just wouldn't come
home! I'm glad you are back, Brian... you don't know how much I missed you,
baby..."
Leighanne threw her arms around Brian and immediately he pushed
her away.
"Don't touch me, Leigh."
She stepped back surprised and for the first time she saw the hurt
in Brian's eyes. And she also shocked seeing rage in them, something she
had never seen in Brian before.
"What happened, sweetheart?" - she asked full of concern.
"I just hope someday God forgives you Leighanne, coz if it
depended on me, you wouldn't be forgiven after having done that to Nick."
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Whoa... Brian is mad!!!! Whats gonna happen now? When will Nick wake
up? It's up to you people how fast I'm gonna post next chapter!
E-mail me! Lionessy@hotmail.com