Date: Sat, 5 May 2001 12:26:54 EDT
From: TrippinTTA7184@aol.com
Subject: If Only Through Heaven's Eyes

Disclaimer: Yup, you guessed it, this entire thing is true, Lance is gay
and
he got married to a wonderful man and they are very happy together
with 6 kids and a ranch full of horses, all named Toby... LoL Yea, don't
we
all wish. This is a total work of my IMAGINATION. Any resemblance
to real people/events is cause I made it that way :-) This is not meant
to
imply anything about the sexuality of any member of NSYNC. I don't
own Lance Bass or any other member of *NSYNC for that matter... If you
are
offended by homosexual themes or references to GOD please do
not read on... ENJOY!!

Authors Note: Hey. This isn't my first attempt at fanfic, but it is the
first thing I ever thought was good enough to post anywhere. If you're
looking for sex, you won't find it here. :-) I am a girl so I'm not
absolutely comfortable with writing stuff like that yet. Please tell me
what
you
think when you're done reading. My email's TrippinTTA7184@aol.com

Dedication: For Shane, You Can Always Make Me Smile! :-)

"If Only Through Heaven's Eyes"

Not a word was spoken as all eyes fell upon five young men who shuffled
to the front of the church and took their place in front of the
alter. A shallow breath was drawn and their voices filled the room. The
song chosen had an emotional attachment to all the boys, but especially
a certain blond haired green eyed bass. The lyrics were so eerily
fitting
for the situation and it seemed almost surreal. The voices rang strong
and true, for this tribute to their friend was for more than just a
remembrance. It was a thank you.

I Never Thought You Were A Fair-Weather Friend
You Never Let Me Down
You're True To The End
For In The Darkest Hour
When All Was Lost
Somehow You Left The Light On
You Faced The Wrong
And Showed The World A Thing Or Two
Stood Up For Me For You
And You Should Know
Some Say It Wasn't Worth The Things We Went Through
I Say It Ain't Worth Loosing You
I Hope You Know How Much You've Changed All Our Lives
Someday You'll See
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
If Only Through Heaven's
I Still Remember
The Things That You've Said
I Keep Your Words Alive
I Could Never Forget
Cause In The Final Hour
You Made Me Proud
So Proud That I Could Know You
You Told The World It's Time That They Believed In You
You Stood For Right And Truth
And You Should Know

The young blonde's voice cracked as he fought to push the notes past the
large lump in his throat. The bass line faltered momentarily
but soon found it's place and rung out with such emotion even he was
shocked.


Some Say It Wasn't Worth The Things We Went Through
I Say It Ain't Worth Loosing You
I Hope You Know How Much You've Changed All Our Lives
Someday You'll See
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
And So We Can't Forget
We've Got To Keep Remembering That Most
Hearts Who Took The Fall
They Did It For Us All
And We Should Learn From It
Stand Up If You Believe In It
You've Got To Face The World
Be Strong
Some Say It Wasn't Worth The Things We Went Through
I Say It Ain't Worth Loosing You
I Hope You Know How Much You've Changed All Our Lives
Someday You'll See
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
Some Say It Wasn't Worth The Things We Went Through
I Say It Ain't Worth Loosing You
I Hope You Know How Much You've Changed All Our Lives
Someday You'll See
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes

The voices slowly began to fade and when the song was finished there was
not a single dry eye in the pews. Sobbing harder than the
rest a young blond man ran to the casket in the center isle and threw his
arms across it, shouting all the while.
"SHANE!!! OH GOD SHANE, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!?!" James Lance Bass
openly cried over the loss of his young friend.
Oh but he was so much more than just a friend. Best friend, boyfriend,
lover, fiance, husband, soulmate. The man lying in the closed casket
was all these and so much more to the young man weeping on top of it. A
pair
of strong arms encircled Lance's waist as he was dragged down
the isle and out of the church.
"Jace, why?" he cried into the older mans shoulder. "Why did he leave
me? I loved him, didn't he know that?"
"James, he knew, God did he know, but you have to be strong. Shane
wouldn't want you to cry." JC whispered comforting words
into his best friends ear, but it was no use. He too was crying
violently
and the two just hugged and sobbed as people filtered out of the small
church.
"Josh, it should have been me. I should be lying there, in that coffin,
with him out here still alive. That bullet was meant for me Josh...
ME!!! Why did he have to go and jump in front of it? Why did God have to
take him from me?" The blond boy began to shake. "Because I
loved him so much, he had to die. It's not fair Josh. I want him back,
just
to hold him in my arms forever and ever."
"Shhhh James, he loved you, that was all that mattered to him. He died
for you... for your love James."
"I don't want to live without him. If he's gone I have nothing left to
live for. He was my life, my all, my soul. I can't survive without him
here." The brunette just held his friend, slowly rubbing his back in
circles and pacifying his sobs. He pulled his friend to his feet and
took him
into the limo waiting to take him to the cemetery. Once inside the limo
Lance's mind took him to 3 days before.

*FLASHBACK*

"James?" A meek voice called out from a bed in the center of the silent
room.
"Shane Baby, I'm here, and I'm never going to leave you, I promise."
Lance threw his arms around his husband lying in the hospital
bed.
"James sweetheart, hush, I need you to listen to me. I don't have much
time left. I know it's time for me to go home to the Lord...
he's calling me. But I want you to know that I love you more than
anything
in the world, and all I want is for you to be happy and healthy.
I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my life James, and I
need
you live on for me ok? I'll see you again soon love, I promise.
When the time comes we will be together in the kingdom of God."
"Shane no, you don't have to go, you can stay here with me... you can't
leave me alone like this. I can't live without you and I don't
want to even try. I love you so much baby... Why did you do it? Why
did
you take it for me? He meant to hit me. You shouldn't have jumped
in front of me. It was stupid baby, so stupid. I love you so much. I
love
you to much for you to die..." Lance's tears dropped onto the face of
his lover. He leaned down for a soft kiss. The kiss was filled with
more
passion than either man had ever known.
"I'm sorry James... I couldn't see you hurt... It's better this way. You
have to live. You make so many people happy... I couldn't let
him take you away from the world. When I'm gone I want you to move on...
don't forget me, but find someone who can make you happier than
you ever were with me."
"Don't say that Shane... don't say it. No one could ever make me feel
the way you do. I won't do it. I can't... You're not leaving me...
you're not..."
"Sing for me James, please? You have a beautiful voice baby. One last
time please?" Lance nodded and he began to express his
love and sorrow the only way he knew how.

I Never Thought You Were A Fair-Weather Friend
You Never Let Me Down
You're True To The End
For In The Darkest Hour
When All Was Lost
Somehow You Left The Light On
You Faced The Wrong
And Showed The World A Thing Or Two
Stood Up For Me And You
And You Should Know
Some Say It Wasn't Worth The Things We Went Through
I Say It Ain't Worth Loosing You
I Hope You Know How Much You've Changed Our Lives
Someday You'll See
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes
I Still Remember
The Things That You've Said
I Keep Your Words Alive
I Could Never Forget
Cause In The Final Hour
You Made Me Proud
So Proud That I Could Know You
You Told The World It's Time That They Believed In You
You Stood For Right And Truth

Lance was interrupted by the staggered breathing of his husband.
"Good-bye James, I will always love you and protect you. I'm sorry it
had to end this way. I love you forever and a day... forever and
the extra day my baby... Never forget me..." The man in the bed fell
silent and the flatline of the monitors brought nurses and doctors
running.
Lance watched in horror as they tried to revive his beloved husband. He
silently began to weep as he sang to his love for the last time.

Some Say It Wasn't Worth The Things We Went Through
I Say It Ain't Worth Loosing You
I Hope You Know How Much You've Changed All Our Lives
Someday You'll See
If Only Through Heaven's Eyes

The doctors and nurses stepped back from the bed and somberly left the
room. Two doctors and one nurse remained. Lance heard a
faint voice speak.
"Time of death, 5:04 AM." He ran to the side of the bed and threw his
arms around his lifeless husband.
"I love you Shane Michael Harris-Bass, forever and a day. I will never
forget you..."

*END FLASHBACK*

Lance looked up and saw the profiles of his four band mates standing near
a tree. The service had long ago ended and somehow he
had ended up in front of the closed grave alone. His tears fell to the
ground and wet the fresh earth. "I love you Shane... We'll meet again
someday, I promise." He dropped to his knees and hugged the stone with
the endearing inscription.

Shane Michael Harris-Bass
June 8th 1977 - March 15th 2004
An angel sent from God, recalled to heaven to serve the Lord.
You will always be remembered, loved, and missed.


Lance sobs quieted and he softly whispered to the sky. "Some Say It
Wasn't Worth The Things We Went Through, I Say It Ain't
Worth Loosing You. I Hope You Know How Much You've Changed My Life.
Someday You'll See, If Only Through Heaven's Eyes..."


*~* "If Only Through Heaven's Eyes" Is Property Of *NSYNC, WEG, And BMG
Entertainment. In No Way Is It Mine*~*