Date: Sun, 24 Sep 2000 23:49:45 GMT
From: Irda Majere <jack_kea@hotmail.com>
Subject: If Only Part III

Hey y'all! Here's part three, sooner than expected! :) I hope you like it,
even though it's a bit short, and I can promise you that I have some way
cool plans for this story so stay tuned! Oh, and don't forget to send those
comments!
My e mail address is: jack_kea@hotmail.com And if you have AIM, my ID is
Irda69, or even Yahoo! Messenger, there it's Irda_69. CYA!!!

Disclaimer: I'm not implying that Ronan Keating, Shane Lynch, Justin
            Timberlake and Joshua Chasez are gay. Or that Justin is a
            total prick, I'm sure he's a nice guy! And so is Shano!
            Go away if you shouldn't read this. Bye!

If Only
by Irda Majere

Part III


When Justin woke up the morning after,
it took him a moment to remember where he was. It sure didn't look like a
hotel room... Then he noticed the slumbering blonde beside him, and the
night's events came back to him. 'He's kinda cute when he's asleep,' Justin
thought with a smile. He had never seen anyone look so totally asleep! Ronan
lay on the mattress (he didn't sleep with a pillow, quite strange) and
hugged the duvet tightly as if it might run away, or like someone was going
to take it away from him. He wasn't a quiet sleeper; he breathed loudly
through his mouth which was slightly open. Justin had been observing his
lover before deciding to wake him up. Carefully removing the covers which
covered his blond friend, Justin reached down and planted soft kisses on the
bare stomach, making Ronan stir and eventually open his eyes, sleepily
gazing down at the curly-haired head at his waist level.

"Good morning,
sunshine!" Justin beamed as he noticed Ronan was awake. When he saw his
bedmate, he looked confused. But then suddenly a look of terror dawned on
his face.

"Why are you still here?" he exclaimed as he flew out of the bed
at record speed. "You should have been gone by now!" he added as he
frantically gathered his clothes.

"What's the hurry?" Justin said with a
laugh. "Don't want your friend to know you got a prettier catch than him! I
saw that dog he'd picked up, man, was she...." Justin stopped talking when
he realized he didn't have an audience. Ronan was pacing around the room,
now fully dressed, picking up Justin's clothes in one hand and making the
bed with the other. "What's the matter, Ro Ro?" he asked when he saw the
state Ronan was in. "It can't be that bad!"

"Get dressed and get out!"
Ronan said urgently as he threw the younger man's clothes in his general
direction. To Justin's surprise, Ronan was near crying. "It's for your own
good, please just go!!" he pleaded as he started pushing Justin toward the
door.

"Ronan, what's the matter?" Justin asked, every trace of a smile now
gone from his face. "Tell me, please!" Ronan just kept on pushing him out,
but then suddenly his head snapped up and he went completely still as if
listening. Then Justin heard it: Someone slamming the front door shut.

"I'm
home!" someone shouted, Justin assumed it was Shane since it was his house.


"Oh, no!" Ronan sobbed, "it's too late! He's here!" He collapsed onto the
bed, heartbreaking sobs sounding from his shaking form. "Why couldn't you
just leave like I told you," he said and looked up at Justin accusingly.
Justin was too gobsmacked to manage a reply. Shane was Ronan's boyfriend?
He'd never heard that one. Then suddenly the door opened and Shane walked
in, but when he saw the half-dressed Justin he stopped dead in his
tracks.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Shane shouted. Justin had
encountered many angry boyfriends, but this one was the first to make him
literally shiver. Shane's gaze shifted to his crying boyfriend. "You little
slut," he said in an even more menacing voice. "Filan wasn't enough for you,
was he? You had to fuck this little git as well! Well pretty boy here won't
be so pretty when I'm finished breaking his fucking face!" He walked up to
Justin and raised his arm as if to punch him, but his fist hit nothing but
air as Ronan swept the surprised youth out of harms way, and shoved him into
the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him after removing the key from
the lock. Ronan quickly locked the door, preventing Justin from exiting.


"Ronan, let me out!" Justin shouted as he pounded the door. When he got no
response, he leaned against the door to try and hear what was going on in
the bedroom.

"Aw," he heard Shane say, "don't want your baby to get
hurt?"

"Leave him out of this, Shane," Ronan replied, obviously trying with
all his might to keep his voice from breaking. "This is between you and
me."

"You bet it is, bitch!" Shane said, and the next thing he heard was
the sound of someone being shoved up against the bathroom door, making
Justin jump back.

"No, Shane, please!" Justin heard Ronan plead, and those
were the last words he heard spoken apart from painful screams from Ronan
and the brutal noises coming from Shane as he raped and battered his
boyfriend. Justin tried banging on the door and shouting for him to stop,
but he knew it was in no avail. Eventually he collapsed onto the toilet and
cried, holding his head in hands to try and block out the terrible sounds of
torture coming from beyond the door.

Time passed slowly, Justin felt like
he'd been there for hours. He couldn't imagine what it must feel like for
poor Ronan. 'How can Shane do this to his own boyfriend?' he thought to
himself. 'Ronan sounded like he knew what was coming, he was dead scared
when he heard Shane come home. Which means that this isn't the first time he
does it.' Suddenly Justin got so angry he could've screamed. 'Why does he
stay with him!! Someone has to do something about this, since Ronan hasn't.'
Then suddenly Justin heard the door to the bedroom slam shut, and not long
after the sound of a car as it sped out of the driveway. He immediately
stood up and went to the door.

"Ronan, you out there? Are you okay?" he
yelled through the door. He knocked and called again. "Ronan?" Still no
reply. He listened carefully for any signs of someone moving about in the
room beyond, but heard nothing. 'I can't stay in here forever,' he thought,
'what if Ronan needs to go to the hospital?' Deciding he had to get out,
Justin backed up and using all the strength in his young body managed to
kick the door open. The room was deadly silent. Justin looked around but
couldn't see anyone in the large bedroom. But when he was about to walk out,
he noticed someone lying on the big bed in the center of the room. His
stomach tightened, and his heart quickened its pace. What would he say to
him? He carefully walked over to the bed and sat down beside the naked form
of his blond friend.

"Ronan?" Justin said in a low voice. "Are you okay?"
'Stupid question,' Justin scolded himself. He tried again. "Do you need an
ambulance?" When Ronan didn't answer, Justin realized he might be
unconscious. He gently laid his hand on the still figure and rolled him
over, gasping at the sight of the badly battered face. And his suspicions
were correct; the beating had rendered him unconscious.

Now Justin started
to panic. Tears started forming in is eyes, and his mind raced through the
do's and don'ts of the situation. He couldn't call the police in fear of
unwanted publicity, and an ambulance would definitely cause a stir. He
didn't have a car, he couldn't call a taxi.... Then suddenly he remembered
someone who would know what to do, someone who always managed to get him out
of all sorts of trouble.



Josh was lounging about in the hotelroom,
enjoying the fact that he had absoloutely nothing better to do. It was his
day off, and he intended to do as little as he possibly could. Maybe he
would start that new Terry Pratchett novel he'd got over in
England....

*RIIIIING!*

JC sighed as he searched for the phone. 'How
typical, I finally get a day off and off goes the goddamn phone....'


*BABY!* The silly word flashed on the bright screen. Justin had changed
his name in Josh's phone to 'baby!' as a joke, but Josh didn't feel it was
all that funny. It only reminded him of the fact that his beloved was by no
means his baby. He pressed the dreaded 'Answer?' button.

"Hello?" he said
with an air of 'now what?' in his tone.

"Josh, I really need your help,"
came the shaking reply, "I don't know what to do, I'm so scared!" He was
crying so hard that JC had a hard time understanding what he was
saying.

"Justin, just calm down. Tell me what's wrong." The voice on the
other line hesitated; all that could be heard were the heartrending sobs.
"Baby, you have to tell me what's going on, otherwise I can't help you!"
Josh had heard Justin in bad shape, but this was different. He was really
starting to worry, he had to watch it or he would start bawling as well. He
swallowed the lump forming in his throat and continued trying to calm his
friend. Justin still hadn't replied to any of his inquiries.

"It'll be
okay, honey, just tell me what I can do to help. Where are you?" he said in
a soothing tone.

"I'm at-" Justin paused. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed suddenly.
"I don't even know where I am!"

"Can't you ask someone? There must be
someone there who knows. Justin, I need to know what happened!" He swallowed
hard. He had always had his fears about someone attacking Justin when he was
out on one of his hunts, that someone might... "Justin, did someone hurt
you?"

"No, no, I'm fine. It's Ronan, he's-" Then he started crying again,
preventing Josh from finding out what had happened to this Ronan guy.
Ronan...it could hardly be Ronan Keating, that Irish guy? He had heard he'd
been at the club they went to yesterday...

"Can't you ask him where you
are?" Josh suggested.

"He's-he's unconscious. It was Shane, he beat him up
and-" Justin drew a shaky breath. "And raped him." Josh couldn't believe
what he was hearing. It couldn't be the same Ronan, it just couldn't. He was
such a sweet guy, something like that wouldn't happen to him. And was that
Shane as in Shane Lynch....? No. Couldn't be.




Ronan carefully opened his
eyes, barely able to because of the splitting headache that was currently
causing volcanic eruptions in his temples. 'What the hell happened?' he
thought as he felt pain take over in every part of his body, especially
his.... He remembered. Shane. 'Poor Justin,' he thought, 'he must still be
in the bathroom.' He tried to rise up, and as he struggled to get to his
feet he heard someone else in the room, talking. He looked around and saw
Justin sitting on a chair, half-crying and half-talking into a mobile
phone.

"Justin," he said. He'd never seen such a reaction in his life.
Justin's head snapped around, and a look of vast relieved washed over the
tear-stained features.

"Josh, he's up!" he exclaimed happily into the
phone. "Yeah, I'll ask him! I'll call you back, bye!" With that he hung up
and ran over to the bed.

"Ronan, are you okay? Don't try and get up, you're
hurt," Justin scolded.

Ronan paid no heed to Justin's words and managed to
climb out of the bed, if a bit shakily, and made his way over to the
bathroom.

Justin immediately started protesting. "Ronan, you
shouldn't-"

"Justin," Ronan cut him off, "I appreciate your concern but I'm
okay." When he saw the disbelieving look on the younger man's face, he
added: "Really." Justin stopped his protests, but it was obvious he wasn't
happy. He got up and followed Ronan into the bathroom.

The blonde was
standing by the mirror, dabbing at his bleeding lip with a washcloth. He
glanced at Justin as he cleaned his wounds. "Thanks for staying with me,
Justin, it means a lot."

Justin smiled. "I couldn't leave you in a state
like that, could I?" Ronan smiled briefly and continued cleaning his face.
The younger man tried to gather the courage needed to ask the next question,
and eventually let it slip. "So are you leaving him this time?"

Without
meeting Justin's gaze or even changing his impression, Ronan replied:
"No."

"What?!" Justin exclaimed. "You can't carry on letting him treat you
like this! You-"

"Don't," Ronan interrupted. "I don't need that now. Why
don't you just go back to the hotel, I'll be okay. Josh is probably worried
about you." He really didn't feel like having the boy around, he was just
so...loud and hyperactive.

Justin took the hint. "Okay," he said meekly,
obviously very hurt. "I'll just call Josh and get him to pick me
up."

"Great," Ronan said, steadfastly ignoring the sad-puppy routine Justin
was doing to try and make Ronan change his mind and let him stay.

When
Justin had made the phone call he finished getting dressed and before
leaving, knocked on the now-closed bathroom door. "Are you sure you're going
to be okay?" he tried one last time.

Ronan, who was about to tend to his
more private wounds, yelled back: "Yes, I'll be fine! Don't worry! Say hi to
JC from me, okay?"

Justin subconsciously pouted, giving him the look of a
disappointed five-year-old. A look not so rarely seen among his friends.
"Okay, bye then!"

"Bye!" Ronan heard the door close, and sighed with
relief.



As Just and Josh were riding back to the hotel, a million
thoughts and emotions were rushing through Justin's head and soul. All this
was so terrible, so new to him. He had never witnessed anything like this
before; he'd never been so close to such cruel and deliberate violence.
Sure, he'd heard all about battered housewives on Oprah and shit, but he'd
never really thought about the possibility of it happening to a man.

The young man sighed and laid his head on JC's shoulder, letting his mind
drift to something trivial and, above all, something he understood.