Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2001 23:08:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jim Higgins <bangoremail1@yahoo.com>
Subject: Flying Without Wings - 14

Greetings everyone,

So here I sit and I missed my self imposed deadline by a few hours.  Sorry
to everyone that likes to wake up on Friday morning to read my story.  Just
one day late!

We had an addition to our house Wednesday night.... well really Thursday
morning.  One of the cats had a litter so some much needed editorial time
was spent comforting her.  Anyone want a kitten?  So that's the main reason
why I'm running a bit behind.  The other reason was I had written a whole
part to this chapter then scrapped it because I didn't like the way it was
going and started from scratch.

Thanks to anyone who mailed me this past week.  I've received some really
good comments (thanks Brian) and always a ton of support.  If you have
feelings, good bad or otherwise, about the story, please feel free to mail
me.

And as a final note, don't forget that nominations end on the 29th for the
awards!


As usual:
This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about
the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization.
It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read
stories with sexual content.


******


Flying Without Wings - Chapter Fourteen


"What are you doing here?"  JC stood looking from Lance to Brian with a
slight scowl on his face.

"Joshua Chasez!  Where are your manners?" Lance chastised him.  His
southern accent becoming more pronounced with his embarrassment.  JC
dropped his head a little.

Brian was definitely feeling uncomfortable.  "Um, I'm sorry for intruding,
JC.  I didn't know you lived here too.  I was looking for Jamie."

"Jamie?  What would he be doing here?" JC asked in a complete fog and with
a little impatience.

Lance stood quickly and moved over to JC.  "Josh, why don't you go and get
some clothes on?"

JC's head snapped up quickly and he blushed.  "Oops, sorry.  I'll be right
back."  JC ran off.

"Let me make a quick call and get Jamie over here," Lance said while
dialing Justin and Jamie.

"Hi, it's me.  How soon can you get here?"  Lance paused.  "It's
important."  Lance smiled at Brian.  "Ok see you then."  He clicked the
phone off.  "You want something to drink?"

"No, thanks.  I guess I'm slipping," Brian stated when Lance had put the
phone down.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand?"

Brian smiled and motioned for Lance to sit.  "You and JC are together,
aren't you?"

"What makes you think that?" Lance asked coolly.

"Oh, just the way you looked at each other just now and the way you said
his name.  Um, he called you sweetie and James.  Oh, and the fact he was
running around practically naked.  Friends don't do that at each other's
houses, only lovers do."

Lance smiled.  "So then, Mister Smarty, what makes you think you're
slipping?"

"I was convinced that you and Jamie were a couple."

"I can assure you that Jamie is just a good friend," Lance laughed.  "How's
married life treating you?"

Brian hesitated before answering.  "It's alot different than I thought it
would be.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still madly in love, but somehow it's
changed."

Lance nodded.  "There's no backing out now."

"Exactly.  'Till death do us part.'  So are you and JC happy?"

It was Lance's turn to hesitate before nodding.  "He means alot to me."

"I'm glad that you found someone.  He's very cute.  You look good
together."

"Thanks."

"Yes, thanks, Brian."  They both turned to see JC leaning against the
doorframe.  With a casual grace he crossed the room and sat beside Lance.
Although appearing completely relaxed, his whole body language screamed
'Lance is mine.'

It was not lost on Lance, who smiled at JC timidly, or Brian who grinned at
them from behind a hand as he pretended to rub his nose.

------


Justin was driving and felt Jamie's eyes on him.  With a quick glance he
smiled at Jamie and then turned back to the road.  "What?" he asked.

Jamie rubbed his hand along Justin's stomach.  "You're incredible, you know
that?"

"Um...  if you say so..."  Justin's modesty made Jamie laugh.  It was
carefree and open and it made Justin's heart pound sensing the Jamie that
he met almost a year before.  He was there lurking ever closer to the
surface.  'Thank you, Lord.  He's almost back, I see more and more of it
each day.'

"Of course you are.  Last night you were beside yourself about all this and
this morning..."  Jamie shook his head in wonder.  "Sometimes I sit and
think about why I love you so much and every day you prove it more and
more."

Justin looked over at Jamie with a tear in his eye.  He grabbed Jamie's
hand in his free one.  "Oh, sweet pea."  He snuffled a little and pulled
into Lance's driveway.  Putting the car in park, he reached over and took
Jamie into his arms.  They held each other for several minutes.  Nothing
was said, nothing needed to be said.

"Who's car is that?" Jamie asked as he closed the roadster door.  A Blue
Mercury was sitting in the driveway off to the side.

"No idea.  Looks like a rental," Justin replied walking to the front door.
He rang the bell then opened the door.  "Lance, we're here," he called out.

"Be right there," Lance called from the back of the house.

Jamie sat on the love seat and Justin sat next to him.  Jamie smiled and
leaned in to kiss Justin chastely on the lips.  Justin put a hand behind
Jamie's head and wouldn't let him go.  They deepened the kiss forgetting
where they were.

"Ahem!"

They broke apart guiltily and looked to see a bemused JC standing with his
fists on his hips.  Lance stood behind him with a hand on his forehead
casting worried glances at a third figure that drew their attention.  There
stood Brian Littrell his mouth open in shock.

"Brian, it's not what it seems..." Lance began.

Justin sighed and stood pulling Jamie up with him.  "No, Lance.  There's no
hiding this."

Brian's mouth started working.  "I never knew or even suspected.  What
about the rumors of you and Britney?"

"Just that, rumors," Justin chuckled.  "She's like my little sister,
nothing more."  Justin looked to Jamie and smiled.  "I would introduce you,
but it seems you already know each other."

"Hi, Brian," Jamie said shyly.  Brian nodded his greeting.

"Well, I guess I can introduce you formally," Justin said thoughtfully.
"Brian Littrell, this is Jameson Campbell, my fiance."

Brian sat heavily on the couch.  "Fiance?"  Jamie nodded.  Brian looked
decidedly uneasy.  "Wow."

"How about some lemonade?" Lance said moving to the kitchen as he pulled JC
with him.

"Thanks, Lance," Jamie called as he and Justin moved to sit with Brian.  "I
guess this is a surprise, huh?"

"Well, I certainly wasn't prepared for this bit of news.  Honestly, I
thought you and Lance were together."

Jamie laughed while Justin snickered.  "I love Lance dearly, but not that
way."  Brian nodded his head in understanding.

"So why are you here, Brian?" Justin asked in a friendly tone.

"I came to warn you that the Firm is going to play hardball to get you,
Jamie.  Nothing cloak and dagger, just increased offers until it's hard to
say no."

Jamie glanced uneasily at Justin.  "I never thought I was so valuable."

"I knew it," Justin said proudly.

"A completely unbiased opinion, I take it," Brian said with a big smile.

"So, you're ok with this?" Jamie asked uncertainly pointing from Justin to
himself.

"How could I not be?  I assume you know my history with Lance?  It would be
a little hypocritical of me to object."

They both nodded.  "I guess you have a point there," Justin conceded.

Lance and JC came back into the room.  JC carried a tray with a pitcher and
glasses while Lance had a plate with some danish and bagels.  They all
settled down and were eating before Brian spoke again.

"Well, I think I know what your answer will be now.  I'm sorry we wasted
your time."

Jamie looked at Brian with a smile.  "No waste of time here.  I'm glad I
got to meet at least two of the other members of your group and to get to
know you a little better.  As far as my decision, I haven't made it yet."

Lance quickly left the room and came back with a folder containing his
copies of the contract and papers.  Brian glanced nervously at Justin then
back at Jamie.  "But... since you are... well..."

"Brian," Justin soothed, "I trust Jamie and he has his own career.  This is
his decision to make and I support him all the way.  The only thing that
concerns me is that he's happy."

JC and Lance looked at Justin in surprise and admiration.  Jamie leaned
against his shoulder and kissed his cheek.  Brian smiled and shook his
head.  "I guess you guys are full of surprises for me today."

"So, that being said," Lance interjected, "here are a few changes that my
client requests be made before he can make a final decision."

Brian looked at Lance shrewdly.  "-Your- client?"

Lance shrugged with a smile.  "I'm acting as his agent," he said passing
Brian and Jamie a piece of paper.

"Now I know we're in trouble," Brian joked.  JC smiled at Lance and kissed
his neck.

Brian took a moment to read through Lance's notes.  "Well most of these I
can understand and can pretty much guarantee that they'll be ok.  We'd have
to get the official word from Max.  I'll drop it by to him when I leave
here.  What's this about a private room?"

"So that when I come and visit we don't have to worry about overbooked
hotels or inconveniencing anyone on tour," Justin said, instinctively
knowing how Lance's mind worked.

"Makes sense.  It will be strange having you around if this happens,
Justin."

"I'd only be there for Jamie and wouldn't plan on going anywhere near the
venues."

Brian nodded.  "Of course you'd be invited.  I think it would be fun having
you around for a show or two."  He turned to Lance.  "And this added clause
to the nondisclosure?"

"To protect you guys and Jamie and Justin, no leaks on either side.
Nothing will be said about Jamie's prior employment unless directly asked.
If the question comes up, the standard statement will be that he was
employed temporarily by us to fill in for Kevin who was out for family
reasons.  Nothing more."

"That's fine, although I know Nick will want to shout that we stole Jamie
from you."  Justin tensed and Brian noticed it.  "Sorry, that came out
wrong.  But if spun the right way it could be seen like that."

Justin relaxed at Brian's words and Jamie's hand on his knee.  "As long as
your guys can hold their tongues," JC said.

Brian sighed.  "I know.  I really need to apologize for everything that's
been going down.  Management almost forced us to say those things last
winter.  They were scared about your projected sales figures, seems even
they were way too conservative.  From there it snowballed.  I don't feel
that way and I don't think Howie does either, but AJ and Kevin do to some
degree."  He shook his head sadly.  "Nick waffles back and forth but he's
harmless, really."

This was met with silence for a few minutes.  "You know I don't hold
anything against you, Brian," Lance finally said.  "But some of those
statements were a little harsh."

"Actually, it hurt a great deal," Justin agreed.  "Sure we went through a
lot of the doors that you had opened but we -did- publicly give you props
for that and we appreciate all the hard work you did.  If you guys should
be mad at anyone then put it on Lou.  We are just a bunch of guys that he
used, too."

Brian smiled at all of them.  "If I could take it all back I would.  I
promise that I'll try to moderate what the guys say in public.  It really
isn't good for our image.  It makes us look like whiny brats, believe me,
we've gotten our fair share of fan hate mail."

Jamie smiled.  "Well, since I've got your verbal on this, I promise to give
you my answer by the end of the week, ok?"

"Great!  I'm sure that will make Max happy."

------


The week dragged on as they started brush up rehearsals for the fall tour.
Since there was nothing new being added they simply worked at polishing
what they already had.  Jamie would arrive for lunch at the compound with
the other band members then stay the afternoon for the run-throughs.

Kevin would be doing a few dates at the beginning and everyone was happy to
see him.  If Jamie had ever found out that he did so at Justin's request
all hell would break loose.  Justin was concerned about how Jamie would
deal with the rape anniversary.  Now he was covered in case he needed more
time.  Kevin agreed to keep silent to help Justin out.

By mid-week Justin really started worrying about Jamie.  It was hard to
detect at first, but he knew what to look for.  The others hadn't even
noticed the slight pulling away or ever present sadness.  Justin had to
hand it to Jamie.  He was surely hiding it well, but Justin could see it in
his eyes.

As he was reviewing the moves to 'Just Got Paid' his mind ran through
everything.  Some people would say he was overcompensating, but he doted on
Jamie more than usual the last couple of days.  The guys noticed but kept
silent and lent their tacit support.

He went over the schedule in his head.  They had Friday from lunch onward
free, the taping for the Holiday special on Saturday and Sunday was free
also.  Justin frowned to himself.  What a way to ruin a weekend.  With any
luck the taping would be over by mid afternoon.

Another frown crossed his face when he remembered that they had decided to
keep the job offer from Joey, Chris and Johnny until Jamie had made his
decision.  Lance suggested it might be better to let it ride for now.  If
Jamie decided to decline then they would avoid the stress of having Chris
go ballistic, which he was certainly guaranteed to.

Justin stumbled as his concentration broke and he fell to his knees.  "I
thought you were supposed to be the best dancer, Timberlake?" Wade called
from the doorway.  JC ran over and shut off the CD player.  Justin answered
Wade with an upturned middle finger and a large smile.

"Hey, Wade.  What are you doing here?" Joey asked with a smile.

"Was just in town and decided to stop by and see how bad you were botching
my choreo," he laughed.  "Except for twinkle toes there, you all seem to
have it down.  Also I'm here to let you know it's time for lunch."

"Great, I'm starved," Chris called.  He slapped Wade's shoulder and headed
out, Joey right behind him.  Lance and JC each gave him a hug and went out
with a backward glance to Justin who had stayed kneeling on the mat.

"If you plant your right foot back a little more on that move you won't
stumble," Wade said with a smile.

"Ha ha, thanks Mr. Bigshot Choreographer.  I just got a little too out of
my head."  Justin pulled his legs around and sat.  "Any other reasons for
this visit?"

Wade went and sat next to him.  "I was just talking with Phil yesterday.
They're worried about Jamie.  How's he doing?"

Justin shook his head.  "He's done better.  You know what week this is?"

Wade nodded.  "Phil told me.  Pat is threatening to fly down if he gets any
worse, they can tell even through the phone calls and emails."

Justin sighed heavily.  "He's hurting so much, Wade.  He hides it, but I
know it's eating him up and there's nothing I can do about it."  Justin
started sobbing and Wade pulled him into his arms.

"You are doing exactly what he needs.  You're there for him and he knows
that.  You'll both work through this."  Wade squeezed Justin reassuringly
before standing.  "Now come on before those jokers eat all the food."

Justin wiped his face with his shirt and put himself back together.  "Jamie
will be here any minute," he said looking at his watch.  "I have to be
strong for him."

Wade patted Justin's shoulder.  "You're doing everything right, never doubt
that."

------


Jamie walked around the pool before sitting on the side to dangle his feet
in the water.  He never thought that he still had all these emotions and
feelings inside that were flooding his thoughts all week.  His nightmares
had returned, gradually growing in strength until his screams had woken
both Justin and himself.

He watched the water swirling around his legs and looked up at the house.
Leaning back he sighed and thanked whoever for Justin.  Jamie had noticed
the doting and tender care that Justin was showing him.  It chafed at times
and made him feel more fragile than he thought he was, but he still loved
every minute of it.  It was because of the attention that he hadn't run
screaming down the street to commit himself.

Jamie lay back and watched the few puffy clouds in the sky floating
overhead.  'I can do this.  This can't hurt me anymore.'  He knew he was
trying to convince himself and hoped that it was true.  If he could get
past the taping on Saturday without a break down he'd be home free but he
had his doubts that he would.

His answer to the Backstreet Boys was due the next day and he still had no
idea what his decision would be.  He tried the trick of making the decision
each way in his head and living with it for a day but that had not helped
at all.  They way he felt now, he doubted he'd be able to do the job,
whether he wanted it or not.

------


"How long has he been out there?" Lance asked over Justin's shoulder.

"Only about 20 minutes or so," Justin replied.  He turned and checked the
oven.

"Is he ok?" Joey asked.

"He'll be fine.  The pool seems to calm him."

"Shouldn't you go to him and just be there with him?" Chris asked from the
table.

"He needs some privacy every now and then.  If he needed me he'd let me
know."

JC moved from the window and placed his hands on Justin's shoulders.  "Have
you thought of getting him to concentrate on something else instead of
Saturday?"

Justin looked at him like he was crazy.  "Of course, but it's not like he
can just forget this."

JC nodded.  "I know that.  What I mean is try to put the emphasis on
something else from that time."

Justin thought a bit and his eyes widened.  "JC, you're a genius!"

"Care to share what sleepy spice has come up with?" Joey asked with a smirk
to JC.  JC stuck his tongue out at Joey.

"This will work!" Justin exclaimed.  "It's perfect, we have tomorrow
afternoon off.  Lance, can you book us a suite at that new fancy hotel in
town?"

"Um, sure," he pulled out his cell phone and made the call.

"What's up, Curly?" Chris asked.

"Last year, I met Jamie the day before the rape.  Although it wasn't the
best of circumstances, we ate dinner in my hotel room with Zack.  We'll
celebrate the day we met!"

JC smiled as Chris and Joey nodded.  "Brilliant," Lance commented as he
hung up the phone.  "You're all set but can only have the room for one
night."

"That's all I'll need."

------


"Can I take off the blindfold yet?"

"Nope.  Patience, cutie."  Justin guided Jamie out of the car and through
the underground parking lot to the elevator.  Once there he put a hand on
Jamie's back and whispered in his ear.  "I love you."

Jamie smiled.  "I love you too.  Now let me take off the blindfold,
please?"

"Nice try, but no."

The elevator arrived and they entered.  The car stopped and opened on the
lobby.  Right on cue, Lance was there and handed Justin a key card with a
broad smile.  He didn't say a word, just waved and let the elevator
continue up.  Once on the floor, Justin took Jamie's hand and let him to
the door.  Justin opened it then scooped Jamie up in his arms.

"Mmmm, my big strong man."  Jamie pressed his face into Justin's neck and
kissed it.

With a giggle, Justin entered the suite and kicked the door shut.  "Ok, you
can take off the blind fold."

Jamie did so and looked around from the safety of Justin's arms.  "Wow,
look at that view."  Justin set him on his feet and they went over to the
door that led to the balcony.  "You can see almost all the way to Disney
from here."

Justin smiled and put his arm around Jamie's waist.  "You like?"

Jamie turned and laid his head on Justin's chest.  "Very.  So to what do I
owe this to?"

Justin wrapped his arms around Jamie and held him tight.  "A year ago this
very day, I met you."  Jamie tensed but Justin rubbed his back until he
relaxed some.  "The first time we ever ate together was in a hotel room,
so..."

Tears were in Jamie's eyes as he looked at Justin.  "You are such a
cornball."  Justin's smile faded a little in defeat.  "A romantic,
wonderful, beautiful cornball."  Jamie pulled Justin down and captured his
lips.  "So what's on the agenda?"

"First we have dinner."  Right on cue there was a knock on the door and
Justin ushered in the room service cart.  He tipped the older man who
brought it.

"Let me guess, chicken fingers and pudding?"

Justin nodded with a smile.  "You remember.  Then we cuddle -and-..."

Jamie smirked.  "If you want to recreate that night all we did was cuddle,"
he pointed out.

"Not if it happened the way I really wanted it to."

Jamie gazed up at Justin.  "You really mean that?"

"I've told you that I fell in love with you almost the minute we met.  That
night, while I held you, I could only think about what it would be like."
He paused looking deeply into Jamie's eyes.  "With you."

"I'm all yours."

Justin kissed Jamie again while stroking his cheek.  "The one difference I
want tonight is for you to make love to me."


tbc...


There's the latest.  Comments and suggestions are always welcome!


Jim
bangoremail1@yahoo.com