Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 09:46:22 -0800 (PST)
From: Michael Bryan <mzbryan2003@yahoo.com>
Subject: JC and the Actor (Chapter 22)

JC and the Actor, Chapter 22, Copyright 2003

----------

The following story is entirely a work of fiction.  It is not meant to
imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of
NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned.  If you are underage, or if it
is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't
read this.

Thanks to everyone who has written, please continue to send your comments,
suggestions, and criticisms to mzbryan2003@yahoo.com

----------

Chapter 22

	I kept telling my eyes to open, but they refused to listen.  I
imagined that I was in a very dark room, though I couldn't be sure.  Very
far away, I heard voices talking, possibly to me.  My nose itched, but I
couldn't scratch it.  I couldn't find my hands.  Minutes may have been
passing faster than seconds or longer than days.  I wouldn't know the
difference.

	I wasn't sad, but I wasn't happy either.  I was in limbo, not
feeling much of anything.  Someone was yelling.  Someone was crying.

	"He's stabilizing!"

	"He's not waking!"

	"Nathaniel."

	"Nate, come back to me."

***

	I wasn't ambivalent.  It just seemed as if there was nothing I
could really do.  "We rush through things too fast," I thought.  "Why not
just relax and see what happens?"

	"Ow!" I think I yelled.  Did someone just poke me?

	Ok.  So I guess this is fine.  Not very stressful at least.  Not
much to worry about.  Have a problem?  Don't look at me.  Did I cause a
problem?  Oh well.

***

	"Nathaniel," a disembodied voice said.  "I really think it's time
you wake up now."

	I heard an entire sentence.  "This desert climate is doing terrible
things to my hair and to yours.  Don't you want to wake up and come home?"

	Home.  It didn't sound like a bad idea.  I think I would like to go
home.  Maybe it would be sunnier there.  Maybe I wouldn't mind opening my
eyes there.

	"The doctor says you're fine now, so all you have to do is wake up
and we can go.  Come on, we can surprise everyone."

I think it was my mom talking.  I thought that was cute.  She was
pretending that I was asleep.  She thinks I've been sleeping for too long.

***

	"Nathan,"

	Dad?  Was that my dad?  My God, how long have I been here?

	"Edward just flew in today.  He'll be here soon.  I told him to
stay in school but he couldn't be swayed."

	How nice.

***

	"Nate, please get better."  The voice came closer, as though it was
whispering into an ear I couldn't feel.  "I love you."  It was a secret
admission, but I couldn't place the voice.

***

	"Nate."  The voice shook as it said my name.  "Nate, I don't think
I can take this much longer.  I see now that I can't live without you.  I
don't want to."

	The person wiped at their nose with their hand.  I could tell.

	"In these past months," the voice continued.  "You have become
everything to me, and I just can't allow myself to think that I could fall
this hard for someone and still have to lose them."

	It was such a sweet voice.  I felt just terrible for doing this to
him.

	"I told you I would never leave your side, but you have to promise
the same to me.  Please, Nate, please, I love you so much."

	Josh.

***

	I was getting tired, which was something I hadn't been feeling
before.  I was tired of being in the dark, tired of listening to the world
through what sounded like an old radio with a bad frequency.

	I started to realize that I was upsetting people, and as my
memories slowly began to flood back into my brain, I began to more fully
understand what was going on.  A set of blue eyes appeared in the darkness.
"Josh," I thought.  They were the same eyes I remembered seeing before
everything went dark.  I was telling myself to remember that my first
thoughts were of JC.  I knew that I would need that information if I were
able to come back into the world.  I wanted to see more than these luminous
eyes, suspended in space, as blue as the bottom of a flame.

	"His eyelids just moved!" someone yelled.  It made me feel very
accomplished.  Push.  Push.  Push.  It took every ounce of my strength, but
I was determined to open my eyes, determined to put everything back into
proper perspective.

	"Nate?" a nervous voice said.  I rolled my eyes to the left and saw
those blue eyes, only now they were surrounded by an entire a face.  A
weary, bearded face.

	"Hi," I said quietly before feeling the weight of JC on top of me,
pressing his cheek against mine and sobbing into my pillow.  I looked
around the room to see my mom, dad and Edward all standing around me, all
with tears running down their faces.  They were all on me in a flash,
hugging and kissing me, laughing and crying.  No one seemed willing to let
go of me, but eventually they realized I was being crushed and started to
back away.

	"Am I ok?" I asked, suddenly very aware of why I was in the
hospital.

	"Yes," my mom cheered.  "You are fine.  You are wonderful.
Everything is fine now."  I noticed that JC kept his hand on my arm, trying
to make sure this moment was real.  Slowly, I was able to lift my arm and
place my hand over his own.

	"I will never hurt you," I thought to myself.  "Never."

	The doctors came into the room and slowly I began to hear what had
happened.  The disease had effected my kidneys badly and they began to stop
functioning, causing me to fall into a coma.  I was put on dialysis for
several days until my kidneys finally stabilized on their own.  Five days
later, I woke up from my coma.

	"You're telling me it's the middle of November?" I asked.  It was a
scary thing to not be aware of.

	The doctors were worried about me having too much activity, so
everyone filed out while they began to examine me.  JC was the most
reluctant to leave, finally justifying his exit by saying that he should
probably tell his band-mates the good news.  It dawned on me as he left
that he must have brought a complete stop to NSYNC's tour.  Not only would
that anger his fans, but the media was definitely going to want to know
why.  I had no idea what was happening with my film, but hoped there
weren't too many people out there who hated me.

	The doctors said that I was recovering really well, that there was
no permanent damage to my kidneys, and that I could probably be discharged
soon.  They said that I would need some physical therapy, since I hadn't
moved in so long, and my vanity reminded me that I must be in pretty awful
shape.  All that working out for nothing.

	I was alive.  I was alive and apparently fine.  My blood tests were
all fine and there was no more evidence of the rare blood disease I had
harbored.  There was a slight chance of a recurrence, but the doctors
seemed confident that I would not have one.

	So much had happened, that it was extremely disappointing to
realize that nothing changed the problems in my own life.  Well, that
wasn't exactly true.  Despite my affair, despite my feelings for Bobby, I
knew that I loved JC more than ever.  He never left my side.  How could I
ever bring pain to someone who had shown me such devotion?  He was the man
I wanted to be with.  The problem was that, under the circumstances, would
I be allowed to keep him?

----------

	"Hi Josh," I said, watching him reenter the room.  He looked
completely worn out and had the makings of a full-grown beard.

	"Hi," he said quietly, coming to stand near my bed.  He looked shy
and awkward, as though he was suddenly afraid to touch me.

	"Are you ok?" I asked.

	"Yeah," he said quickly.  "It's just that I'm kind of afraid to
accept it yet.  I'm afraid you're going to go away again."  He tentatively
put his hand on my shoulder.

	"Josh, I'm fine.  I'm not going anywhere."  He smiled and sat down
on the part of the bed I patted with my hand.  "Mom says you never left my
side."

	He blushed and bit his lower lip.  "I couldn't, I just kept
thinking..."

	"Josh, I heard you," I blurted.

	"What?"  He seemed confused.

	"I don't know when it was, maybe it was just before I woke up, but
I heard you.  I heard you telling me to stay by your side."  I propped
myself up on my elbows.  It took a lot more energy than I had anticipated.
I leaned closer to him.  "I came back for you."

	JC grabbed my face with both his hands and kissed my lips.  He was
more forceful than I expected, but I think he was still proving to himself
that I was really there.  His hands slid down to my back as he kissed me,
and I was thankful to have him supporting my weight.

	"I love you," he said in between a number of soft, quick kisses.

	"Are you keeping this look?" I asked, feeling his beard rub against
my smooth face.  I guess someone had kept up with shaving me.

	"I was thinking about it," he laughed.  "Do you like it?"

	"I don't mind it." I said, kissing him again.  "It's very
survivalist."

	He laid me back down and sat there, holding my hand.

	"Do I look like shit?" I asked him.

	"No," he said smiling.  "Your black eye is gone, and that cut on
your cheek is just a little line now."  He traced his finger along my
cheek.

	"Could you bring me a mirror?" I asked.  It was probably vain of me
to wake up from a coma and want to know how I looked, but I don't know how
someone in my situation wouldn't be curious.

	"Ok," he said, standing up.  "But Nate, you've lost a lot of
weight."

	"So have you," I said, noticing how small his frame seemed under
his normally fitted clothes.  You could tell JC was the type of person that
would lose his already small appetite the second anything stressful
happened.

	He stepped out of the room for a second, then returned with a small
pocket mirror.  I assumed that he got it from my mom.  He handed it to me
and I turned it so that it was facing me.

	"Fuck," I said.  It wasn't really that bad.  I actually looked
really well rested and my skin was a normal pallor again, though I had lost
the tan from Africa.  What bothered me a little was that my cheeks were
hollow, the skin pulled tight around my cheekbones. My face seemed smaller,
making my lips and eyes seem that much bigger.  It occurred to me that I
could probably get some pretty good modeling jobs with this new look, but
it just wasn't me.

	"They could only give you so much food through a tube," JC tried to
joke while I just stared at myself, touching every part of my face.

	"What's your excuse?" I joked back.  He shrugged and took the
mirror back from me, telling me I had stared at myself for long enough.  I
pulled the collar of my hospital gown forward and looked down at my body,
feeling like I had to reacclimate myself to it.

	"Everything still there?" JC asked.  I could tell he thought I was
nuts.

	"Not as bad as I predicted," I said with complete seriousness.  "I
should be able to get it all back in a couple weeks."

	"Just take it easy Richard Simmons," Josh said, sitting back down
on the bed.  There was a quick knock and then a nurse came in with a
walker.

	"Well, are you ready Mr. Murray?" she asked cheerfully.

	"Ready for what?" I asked, a bit scared.

	"Ready for what?" JC asked, almost in unison.

	"It's time to get you on your feet and see if you can urinate on
your own."  I looked at JC and started laughing.  Life simply couldn't have
been more unglamorous then it was at this moment.

	"You may want to wait outside for this," I said to him.

	"Wow," he said, standing up, scratching the back of his head.  "As
sexy as all that sounds, I think you may be right."  He smiled at me warmly
and I looked back at him, unable to stop smirking.  "Honey," he called to
the nurse. "Would you mind looking over there for a second?" he asked,
pointing toward the wall on the right.  She looked confused but did as she
was asked.  JC leaned down and gave me a long kiss on the lips, then smiled
and walked out, thanking the nurse on his way.

----------

	The next morning, Edward was the first one in the room.  JC had
protested leaving last night, but with my prognosis good, I forced him to
go back to the hotel and sleep in a real bed.

	"I guess I gave you a pretty good excuse to play hooky from school
and fly to Egypt."

	"I've been trying to keep up with my work," he smiled.  "But it was
really difficult with you, well, you know."

	"Thanks for coming, Edward," I said, motioning for him to come
closer to me.

	"You were there for me when I really needed someone," he said
seriously.  "I wouldn't have cared if they threw me out of school."

	"Thank you," I said, extending my hand to him.  He ignored it and
reached down to hug me.

	"I love you," he said, kissing the top of my head and then pulling
away.  Edward's sudden revelation startled me.  My brother loved me.  It
felt new, but nice.  "I have to go make a plane reservation," he said,
walking toward the door.  "Dad will kill me if I miss anymore of this
semester."

	"Funny," I said.  "First he doesn't want you to go to Julliard, now
he doesn't want you to leave."

	"He's coming around," Edward smiled.  "Thanks to you."  He exited.
It felt good to know I had done something right.  He seemed happier, more
confident.  Still, I didn't see how I could possibly be a good person.

	Having been finally left alone for a few moments, I pulled my
sheets off and slid my legs off of the bed.  I had been able to walk
yesterday, but not to my own satisfaction, and I wanted to be able to
practice by myself.  Slowly, I hobbled around my room, thinking about the
self-realized stud I was only a couple of weeks ago.  My legs felt
incredibly stiff, but I didn't feel like I would lose my balance.  It was
more that I felt tired very quickly, and would frequently have to stop.

	"What the hell are you doing?"

	I spun around rather well to see JC bounding toward me, placing his
arms at my sides.

	"Josh, I didn't have a stroke, I've just been lying down too long."
He tentatively let go of me and looked around the room, as if he was trying
to find someone to blame for me walking around by myself.

	"So," he began, leading me back toward the bed.  "I think I have
some news you may enjoy."

	"Britney Spears is on her way here to give me a personal concert?"

	"Um," he laughed, "Well maybe not as great as that."

	"Well, what then?"

	"I'm busting you out of here," he smirked.  I asked him how he
could possibly do that and he said that since the doctors were all in
agreement that I was completely stable, and since the hotel was just down
the street, I could be moved there along with a full-time nurse that JC had
arranged for.  "If any problem was to happen," he assured me.  "You could
be back here in like five minutes."

	I was so excited I could hardly contain myself.  I was going to go
outside.  I was going to go to a place that didn't look bare and smell
antiseptic.  "Besides," he added.  "The hospital is kind of happy to have
you leave."

	"Why is that?" I asked, wondering if I had done something to turn
the hospital against me.

	"Well, a significant group of paparazzi and press have been keeping
vigil downstairs for quite a while."

	"You're fucking kidding me."

	"No."  He looked at me sympathetically.  "You've become a bit of an
international sensation in this past week."  I couldn't believe he was
telling me this.  I had become a celebrity without even realizing it.  And
it wasn't for my talent but for almost dying in the middle of making a
film.

	"Josh," I could hardly speak.  "Do they know about us?"

	"According to the press, your very good friend, JC Chasez, has been
at your bedside since the beginning."  This was overwhelming.  I didn't
know what to do.  No one had prepared me for this.  "It's been a great
story for them," he said.  "This gorgeous New York actor, suddenly stricken
with this one in a million kind of illness, and with a pop star at his
side, resulting in the cancellation of NSYNC's European tour.  Pretty good
stuff."

	"You cancelled your tour?"

	"We're rescheduling."

	"Are the guys mad at you?"

	"Well, they're not real happy, but I think they understand.  We've
lost a ton of money and I think some people are going to file lawsuits
against us, but at this point I don't really give a shit.  I'll pay them
out of my own pocket if I have to."  I looked up at him and wanted to cry.
I didn't deserve to have this kind of love, but I wanted to so much.  I
wanted to be what he thought I was.  I knew I could be from now on.

	"I can't talk to them," I gasped.  "I don't know what to say."

	"Mr. Murray?" A nurse walked in holding a sheet of paper.  "This
telegram just arrived for you."  She handed it over to me and I took it,
noticing right away that it was from my agent, Allen.

	It read: "If you don't go out there and put on a good show for the
press, I'll come over there and kill you myself.  So thankful to hear you
have recovered.  Best, Allen."

	"Maybe I should go down alone," I suggested.

	JC winked at me.  "Experience has taught me that you have to take
these moments when they come.  Now seems to be your time."

	The crew had sent my personal things to the hospital, so I was able
to put on my own clothes.  Everything looked to me like I hadn't seen it in
years.  Josh helped me get dressed, then left while I called Allen to find
out what was happening with the film.  Allen told me that they spent a few
more days filming exterior scenes, used a body double for some action
sequences, then decided to wrap the African unit of production and head
back to the States.  They were all gone.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

	"They said that they can recreate any backdrop you may need to
finish filming later," Allen said.

	"When are we scheduled to start shooting in LA?" I asked.

	"In about a month.  The studio took a gamble that you would be
alright by then.  Do you think they are right?"

	"Absolutely," I said without thinking.  I was confident that my
health would be fine.  My mind and heart were another matter.

	"Now go flash them those pearly-whites," he said, wishing me a
speedy recovery before hanging up.

----------

	I slowly stepped up to the podium the hospital had placed in its
lobby and flashes and questions came flying from every direction.  Despite
my weight loss, I knew I looked pretty good, and I was not really surprised
to find myself answering questions politely and with confidence and humor.

	"How long have you been friends with JC Chavez?" someone asked.  I
gritted my teeth.  I fucking hated it when people got his name wrong.

	"I've been friends with JC Chasez for a long time.  I met him and
Justin at an after-party for a show I was doing last spring."

	"Has Justin been here?" someone asked with exasperation.

"Some people are just born golden," I thought to myself in reference to
Justin and the public's insatiable interest in him.  I rolled my eyes and
waited for the next question.

	I didn't have to talk for very long.  A doctor came and announced
that I had to rest.  The press kept shouting and taking pictures as I was
led out of the lobby.  What they didn't see was that I was brought out to a
car and driven to the hotel.

	"That was kind of fun," I said to JC when he met me in the hotel
lobby.  Edward and my parents were there as well.  "Do you think they'll
leave me alone now?"

	They all started walking toward the elevator with me.  JC said that
there would probably be another story when I went back to work.  We arrived
at the top floor and entered what must certainly have been the finest hotel
suite in Cairo.  Even though last night was the first night JC had actually
slept here, he had kept it the entire time.  The windows were enormous and
you could see the Nile and across the desert.  I didn't want to leave.

	"So this is where I've been?" I said, feeling JC put his hands up
on my shoulders as I gazed out the window.  I know that I shouldn't have
been, but I was feeling peaceful, serene and content.

	"You should rest now," my mom said.  She was starting to unpack my
clothes.  "This is the most activity you've had in like twenty days."

	"Mom, I'm fine," I said, walking over to my suitcases and closing
their tops.  "You don't have to do that now."

	"Ok," she said, running her hand down my face and kissing my cheek.
She knew that I wanted to be alone with JC.  "Alright then," she began,
straightening a few things up.  "Now your father is going to fly home with
Edward tomorrow, but I'm going to stay until you feel ready to come home
also."

	"Mom, you don't have to..."  She held her hand up, signaling for me
to stop talking.

	"I'm staying," she said.  "Now you rest, and maybe we'll all meet
for a nice dinner tonight.  Get some real food into you."

	"Ok," I said.  My mom liked organization as much as I did.

	JC said goodbye to them and closed the door.  "Come," he said,
taking me by the hand and leading me into the bedroom.
	"Nice place you got here," I said, slipping my shoes off with my
feet.  The room was huge, bathed in different shades of beige with large
geometric furniture and an oversized king-size bed.

	"The bed is really comfortable," he said, pulling the sheets down
and patting the mattress.

	"Josh, I can't believe you stayed in that crummy hospital all this
time."

	"Well, you had to."  I knew I didn't deserve him.  "Come rest," he
said.  I was really tired from the press conference and, sad to say, from
the walk into the hotel.

	"Only if you do too," I said, taking off my pants and crawling
under the covers in my t-shirt and boxers.

	"Ok," JC smiled.  Despite a good night's sleep, he still looked
exhausted.  He took off his pants and laid down next to me.  Immediately I
snuggled up against him, laying my head on his chest, wanting to feel close
to him even though I knew that I shouldn't.  He ran his fingers through my
hair while flipping on the television, searching for something in English.
I forgot that he like TV, and had probably not seen it in a long time.  It
was early afternoon, but it felt nice to be in bed, watching TV with the
man I loved.

	I slid my hand onto his chest and slowly started to unbutton his
shirt.

	"Can I help you?" he asked, amused, placing his hand over mine.

	"Take your shirt off," I said.  "I want to feel you against me."
He looked a bit reluctant, but eventually smiled and unbuttoned the rest of
his shirt, pulling it off and tossing it to the edge of the bed.  I laid my
face against his chest, smelling him, feeling his flesh, feeling his warmth
against my face.  I could feel his heart beating calmly.

	"Oh," I said, smiling after I opened my eyes and saw him.  "Looks
like someone forgot his trimmer."

	"Oh man," he blushed, looking away from me.  "When I originally
came to see you, I only brought stuff for a few days.

	"It's ok, Josh," I said, running my hands over his slightly furry
chest.  "Between this and the beard you're all man, aren't you?"  He nodded
and I settled back down on him.

	His abs were still hard as rocks and I danced my fingers on top of
them, slowly making my way toward the waistband of his boxers.  Given the
size of his penis, I quickly realized he was hard.

	"Well, well, what have we here?" I asked, laying my hand gently
over his erection.

	"That's not for you," he said.  "Not now."

	"But Josh I'm fine, it's been so long for you."  I tentatively
rubbed my hand back and forth over it, feeling him stiffen more.

	"For you too," he said.  I pretended I didn't hear him and kept
rubbing.

	"Come on," I said, quickly slipping my hand between his legs and
running my hand up the crack of his ass, causing him to jump.  "You must
want it so bad."

	"Nate, we shouldn't..." I cut him off by kissing him.  Part of me
thought that it was wrong of me to want to intimate with him after what I
had done, but another part of me wanted him so badly.

	Feeling his beard rub against my face, I swung my leg over him,
straddling him, giving myself better access to his lips.  I felt him hard
underneath me as I ran my hands up and down his chest, getting him to emit
small sexy sighs.  Feeling his lips against mine, I couldn't understand how
I had forgotten what he felt like.  I no longer knew why I allowed myself
to be tempted.

	JC's hands rubbed my thighs, then moved to my waist.  He slowly
started to pull my t-shirt up and I stopped to help him, pulling it off in
one criss-cross motion .  He sat up and our manly chests pressed together
as we kissed deeper and harder.  Feeling the tension in my own shorts I
slowly started to buck myself against him, rubbing my ass over his hard,
cloth-covered cock.

	"Nate," he panted.

	"What?"

	"You smell kind of like the hospital."

	"Oh."  I sat back down on him, feeling a little self-conscious but
still playful.  "Well, I'll just have to go take a shower then," I said,
rolling off of him and standing up, trying to ignore the bulge in my
shorts.  My slow walk to the bathroom made me realize that I worked much
better on the bed.  JC was soon behind me and I asked him what he thought
he was doing.

	"You can't be in there alone," he said.  He was serious.  "I'll
have to take one with you."  He smiled and I told him that it was fine with
me.  The bathroom was all highly polished marble, with a giant sunken tub
and a shower that was more like a small bedroom.  A large, marble bench was
built into it, which I found terribly convenient given that I was already
tired from walking over to it.

	Having not been around JC in some time, I felt a bit awkward
pulling my boxers down.  He simply pushed his shorts down and stepped into
the big shower.  His cock was no longer fully erect, but was still really
thick as it hung loosely between his legs.  His endowment really was a
sight to behold.  I wondered how much longer I would be able to see it.  JC
turned the water on and I stepped in behind him, pressing myself against
him, kissing his smooth shoulders.

	"I missed you so much," I said, kissing his neck.  JC brought one
hand up to my hair while he adjusted the temperature with the other.

	"I don't want to make it too hot and get your blood pressure up,"
he said, testing the water thoughtfully.

	"You make my blood pressure rise," I said, wrapping my hands around
his chest.  "And other things too."  He could feel my cock pressing against
his ass and he smiled quietly to himself before turning around to kiss me.

	I showered quietly, with JC doing most of the work for me.  It was
hard enough just to stand there, soaping and shampooing could have ended in
disaster.

	"Do you want to sit down?" he asked after I was squeaky clean.  My
knees were feeling weak, but I wasn't sure if it was because of my illness
or him.

	"Yes please," I said, walking over and sitting on the bench.  The
marble had been warmed by the steam and was surprisingly comfortable.  JC
came and sat next to me and I thought that we looked like two guys in the
sauna of a health club, only with large erections.  Of course, depending on
the health club you go to...

	"Stand up," I said after we had been sitting there for a few
minutes, just enjoying each other's company.

	"Why?" he asked, happy just to be sitting next to me.  I gave him a
wary look and he did as he was told, presenting me with an up close and
personal view of the largest penis I had ever encountered.  I wrapped my
hand around its base and brought my mouth over it, taking it down to where
my lips met my hand.  JC groaned and I felt his hands move to the wall
behind me to support his weight.  He hadn't been touched in so long, the
sensation was making him weak.  I swirled my tongue around the head of his
cock, tracing its large helmet shape.  I applied pressure to it with my
lips, causing his slit to open and slipping the very tip of my tongue in
it.  He squirmed, but tried to stay still, letting me do what I want,
afraid to do anything forceful.  I could hear that my own breath was
quickly becoming labored, but hoped that he wouldn't notice and let me
continue.  I wanted to do this for him.  He deserved to feel the pleasure,
even if I didn't.

	I looked up at JC.  His eyes were closed, his face contorting in an
expression of pleasure and urgency.  His abs were clenched tightly and I
loved watching the little beads of water trickle down them.  I could have
started crying when I thought about the fact that I was supposed to have
waited for him, and that he thought that I had.  This was our reunion and I
had destroyed it, all for reasons I couldn't understand.  Sitting on that
bench, with JC's cock slipping down my throat, I couldn't understand how I
could have ever wanted anything else.  I wondered if this was what all men
who had affairs felt like.  The thought of now being one of them made me
ill.

	I tried to push these thoughts out of my head and concentrate on
the task at hand.  I sat up, allowing myself to go further down on his huge
cock, tracing his circumcision scar with my tongue, and starting to slowly
bop up and down on him.  My left hand played with his balls, rolling them
around as I felt his sack tightening.  My right hand squeezed at his ass
cheek, before starting to slide up and down the crack of his ass, eliciting
another moan from him as my fingers brushed up against his hole.  Knowing
that he would love it, in one quick motion I jabbed my index finger into
his hole.  He shouted and reared against it, causing his cock to push
entirely into my mouth.  I felt his pubes against my lips and I started to
gag.  I hadn't been prepared to take all of him.

	"Nate," he called above me, pulling his cock out of my mouth.  "Are
you ok?"

	"Fine," I said, catching my breath and grasping his cock once
again.  I wanted to continue.

	"Nate, I'm sorry, maybe we should..."

	"Be quiet Josh," I interrupted, taking him into my mouth again.  He
sighed and put his hands back on the wall.  I was so enjoying the feel and
taste of him, knowing that I was giving him pleasure.  I wasn't even
thinking about my own erection.  I guess part of me didn't think I deserved
to.

	I kept sucking him while playing with his hole.  I couldn't tell
which he was enjoying more.  His scrotum was tight against his body, giving
me an indication that he was approaching orgasm.  Wanting him to enjoy a
full experience, I turned him around and pushed my face in between his
cheeks, running my tongue up and down his crack, feeling the smooth tiny
ridges of his anus.  JC was really starting to make noise now and I saw his
hand reach around to pull on his own cock as I worked his ass with my lips
and tongue.  I started pushing my tongue inside him, jabbing at his hole
like it was a tiny prick.  Using my hands, I pushed his cheeks apart,
giving me better and deeper access to him.

	"Oh Nate," he moaned.  "Oh yeah Nate."  I could see the muscles of
his back tightening as his hand pounded away at his meat.  He was getting
close.  It had been three months.

	I pulled my tongue out of his ass and turned him around, taking his
cock in my mouth again.  This time he placed his hands on my head, making
sure he applied no pressure to it.  I worked my index finger back into him,
all the way up to the knuckle, and for the first time in months I started
to hear his chaotic yelps.  At this moment everything was as it should be.
We were best friends and lovers, enjoying intimacy in a way I believed we
had both never experienced with someone else.

	"Nate, I'm close," he moaned, trying to prepare me.  I didn't care.
I wanted him.  I wanted all of him.  Maybe in some fucked up way, it was my
way of apologizing.  I kept my mouth tight around his cock, sucking it,
refusing to let it go.

	"Nate, I'm really..."  I kept sucking

	"Nate, I'm gonna..." he grunted and pulled his cock from my mouth,
practically shouting as he began to pump his load all over my chest.  At
first two or three globs of cum shot out, then he started spraying cum all
over me like a sprinkler system, followed by more long, thick shoots.  I
had never seen someone cum so much and despite wishing I had tasted it, it
was quite an amazing site to behold.  The cock of JC Chasez, pumping cum
all over my chest.  He made so much noise the entire time that I hoped the
walls were soundproofed, fearful that my parents could be in the next room.

	He milked the last drops of cum out of his angry red cock, giving a
final groan before dropping to his knees and laying his head in my lap.  He
panted quietly as I watched his cum run down my hard abdomen, relishing how
good it felt to have had his warm cum splashing all over me.

	"I think I'm ready for that nap now," he said.  I could see that he
was smiling to himself, enjoying the incredible feeling of release.  Slowly
he moved his head from my legs and looked at my cock, full but still
resting on my thigh.

	He looked up at me.  "Don't you want to..."

	"Maybe later," I said.  I was exhausted and was worried that I
would slip back into a coma if I went through the exertion of cumming.
Besides, I was surprisingly satisfied, knowing I had pleasured him so much,
perhaps happy that I had denied myself.

	JC slowly stood up and helped me up.  He took me back toward the
shower to wash his juices off of me.  He kept his arms wrapped around me,
supporting me, enjoying the closeness.

	Back in bed, under the covers, I asked him why he wouldn't cum in
my mouth.  It wasn't a particularly comfortable thing to ask.

	"You said six months," he smiled.  "What would I be if I wasn't a
man of my word?"  I was wondering if he only seemed so perfect suddenly
because I had done something wrong.  We had both agreed that we would wait
until the end of November before we could stop worrying about risky
behavior in our own relationship.  I wondered if letting Bobby blow me had
reset my clock.  It was only a quick blowjob.  I didn't want to think about
Bobby when I was with JC, so I kissed him and settled back down on his
chest, quickly letting my exhaustion overtake me and drifting off to sleep.

----------

	We had dinner as a family that night, a delicious meal catered by
the waitstaff and set up in the dining room in JC's suite.  Everything
seemed rather perfect.  Everyone was getting along and I knew that this was
what life was supposed to be about.  I would look over at JC from time to
time, wishing beyond all wishes that I could just change one day of the
past.

	The next morning, the nurse came in to help me do some exercises
while JC made phone calls in the other room.  The nurse told me that I was
doing exceptionally well.  I didn't bother to tell her that determination
was my strong point.  After she had left, I busied myself watching Egyptian
television and eating some fruit that had been brought up earlier in the
morning.  JC came back into the bedroom, looking shaggy and happy.

	"Everything ok?" I asked.

	"Yeah," he said.  "We agreed to just finish up the last month of
the tour after the New Year.  Hopefully, all the fans will be happy with
that."  I realized that this meant that he was going to be able to be
around for a long time.  I was thrilled, but nervous.

	"Josh, I can't believe the problems I've caused for you."

	"Don't worry about it," he said.  "Believe me, I'm thrilled to be
taking a break.  Now we can really be together."  I nodded and watched him
walk toward the bathroom.

	"I have to shower," he said.  "You think I should get rid of the
beard?"

	I looked at him and smiled.  "Yes, please."  Truthfully he looked
adorable with it, but I wanted to see his face again.  He smiled and
whistled his way inside.  He was happy to not have to be worrying about me
for the moment.

	A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.  I figured it
was mom, maybe just getting back from seeing my dad and Edward off.  I
pulled open the door and stood there for a moment in disbelief.  I had
thought they had all gone back to the States.

	"Hi Bobby," I forced myself to say, wondering if it was all going
to end here.


To be continued