Date: Fri, 5 Mar 2004 21:21:59 -0800 (PST)
From: Michael Bryan <mzbryan2003@yahoo.com>
Subject: JC and the Actor (Chapter 31)

JC and the Actor, Chapter 31, Copyright 2004

----------

The following story is entirely a work of fiction.  It is not meant to
imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of
NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned.  If you are underage, or if it
is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't
read this.

Hello again to everyone.  I apologize for the delay in posting, but I hope
you all enjoy the 31st installment of this series.  Please continue to send
your thoughts, comments and criticisms to mzbryan2003@yahoo.com

----------

Chapter 31

	There are times when you think you have it all.  Those times can be
both the happiest and the scariest.  If you have everything, what else can
you get?  In other words, what else is there to look forward to?  That was
how I had felt months ago, when it became apparent that I was going to have
everything I ever wanted.  Fame.  Respect.  Love.  Wealth.  Admiration.  As
someone who had spent each year of his life trying to top the year before,
it was unsettling to say the least.  In order to rid myself of this
unsettling feeling, I nearly destroyed what might be the best relationship
I had ever had.  Suddenly, having it all did not seem so bad, as I realized
that even if you have everything, if you take out the most important thing
- the love - it is all worth very little.

	And so I learned to accept that I did have it all, and I now knew
that I wanted to keep it.  When my knee would brush his leg at night, when
I realized who I would be seeing at the end of the day, there were no more
doubts.  There was no more confusion.

	It was around six when my cell phone started to ring.  I had
programmed the ring tone to play a small part of the bridge to "Blowin' Me
Up," just to see the look of embarrassment that would wash over JC's face
every time it played when we were in public together.  The sound was coming
from JC's side of the bed, and I had to reach over him to find it, arriving
in a seated position on his upper legs.  He was pretending to still be
asleep, but quickly started to squirm when I lightly tickled his bare
stomach with my hand.

	"Hello?" I said into the phone, laughing when JC grabbed me firmly
by the wrist to stop me from tickling him.  "Hey there Allen," I said,
wondering if had forgotten about the difference in time zones.

	"Um," Allen said.  "Did you forget what today was?" he said.

	"I guess so," I said, pulling my hand free from JC's grasp and
immediately trying to tickle him again.

	"Nathan, the Tony Award nominations were announced this morning,"
he said, apparently shocked that I could have forgotten.  Actually, I
couldn't believe that I had forgotten, but LA often did feel like another
planet.  "You know," he laughed.  "The highest award an American stage
actor can get?"  JC noticed my eyes bugging at of my head and propped
himself up on his elbows, wondering what was going on.

	"Allen," I said quietly, knowing what he was about to say.  "How
did it go?"

	Allen laughed.  "Did you really doubt that you would get
nominated?"

	"Wow," I said, the excitement building so quickly inside me I
didn't know what to do with myself.  I had expected to get a nomination,
but knowing that it had actually happened was a totally different feeling.
I had won a few awards in college and for a couple of Off-Broadway
productions, but this was the big time.  This was Broadway.

	I told Allen that I would have to call him back later on, quickly
closing the phone and looking down at my very inquisitive looking
boyfriend.  "I was nominated for a Tony Award," I said, covering my mouth
with my hands.

	"Oh my God," JC said, sitting up, causing me to shift further down
him.  I started to laugh, cupping his face in my hands and leaning down to
kiss him.  "Congratulations," he laughed through my kisses, falling back
down onto the pillows.  Our lips parted and I locked my arms on either side
of him, stretching my naked body the length of his own.

	"Didn't you write a song about not being able to have everything
you want?" I asked, locking my eyes with his own.  He nodded affirmatively.
"Well," I shook my head.  "I think you might be wrong about that," I
smiled, laying myself on top of him and kissing him again.

	"You know," JC began after kissing for a while.  "I've never made
love to a Tony nominee before."  He smiled, wrapping his arms around my
back and pulling me tightly to him.

	"Do you want to now?" I asked, already feeling my erection press
against his.

	"Yes please," he said, resuming our kissing session.  I pressed my
body hard against his, feeling my cock slide across his stomach, brushing
up against his own.  Slowly we began a rhythm, our hips moving together,
our cocks overlapping and wetting our stomachs.  Slowly I brought his hands
over his head, lowering my head to kiss his neck and smell his scent.  His
underarms were currently as smooth as the rest of him, and I moved back and
forth between them, kissing and licking.

	JC sighed softly, enjoying my playful restraint.  He whimpered as
my head moved lower, biting his smooth, round nipples, licking up and down
the faint line between his pecs before traveling back up him to kiss his
lips once again.

	We kissed hard, with increasing urgency.  Our cocks were rock hard,
poking each other as JC began to bend his knees, pulling his legs up my
sides, causing me to slide down in between them.  He started moving his
hips more quickly, and our balls began to lightly slap against each other
as his pace continued to quicken.

	"Nate," he panted, his voice sounding rushed.  "Put it in me now."
Loving the sound of those words, I took my right hand and reached a finger
down to his hole, feeling the tiny ridges, noticing that it felt warm,
slick and inviting.  I was leaking like a faucet and was pretty sure that
he could accept me easily at this point.

	JC pulled his knees closer toward his chest as I slid down his body
just enough to get myself into position.  "Come on baby," JC cooed.  "Give
it to me."  I pushed forward, feeling JC's hole envelop me.  After feeling
the familiar "pop," I moved forward, his warmth surrounding my pole.  I was
groaning with an urgency of my own as I quickly began to rock my hips, so
turned on, my cock tapping his prostate, causing JC to whimper in ecstasy.

	"You feel so good, Josh," I sighed, fucking his hole.  His cock was
hard against his tight stomach, and leaking profusely.  I was still holding
his hands above his head, but I let one of them go and he quickly wrapped
it around his sweaty pole, tugging on it like he might tear it off.

	"Oh...oohhh," he moaned, pounding his meet while I pounded his ass.
"I'm gonna cum.  I'm gonna cum so hard."  As far as I was concerned, JC
could read stereo instructions and I would find it sexy.  Hearing him talk
dirty sent me through the roof.  Watching him near the brink, I moved one
of my hands between his legs, squeezing his smooth balls and pressing hard
against the flesh between them and his ass, ensuring that he would be
receiving maximum pleasure.  "Oh fuck," he cried.  "OH FUCK!!!"  He
actually screamed out loud, his back arching and thick ropes of cum
shooting out of his huge cock, covering his chest and stomach.  "Nate,
I...I...ahhhh!!!" he shuddered again, another orgasm ripping through him.
In all of JC's excitement, I had almost forgotten to cum myself, but after
his second orgasm, I let out a loud groan and began dumping my load inside
him, feeling his hole become more slick, nuzzling my face into the crook of
his neck.  Things began to calm down after that.  I let go of his hand and
tucked my strong arms under his back, feeling his sinewy arms tighten
around my back as well.  Reluctantly, I slowly slid out him, resting on top
of him.  We kissed briefly, and I could tell that we both were on the verge
of drifting off to sleep.

	"Imagine what it will be like if I win," I laughed, kissing his
broad nose before settling back down on him.  It was almost time to get to
work, but I figured the production could wait a little bit this morning, in
light of my good news.

	"I will look forward to that," he said, smiling and closing his
eyes.

----------

	I arrived on the set to find a bunch of flowers in my dressing
room, congratulating me for my nomination.  I hadn't connected with the
people in this production on the same level as I had for my last film and
my other plays, so their gesture was very appreciated.  Truth be told, I
was disappointed in my performance in this movie.  I didn't have the
concentration I had brought to all of my other roles, largely because I was
focusing more on my relationship with JC.  It wasn't that I wasn't doing
good work, it was just that I didn't feel that familiar spark inside
myself, that love of my art.  I had never gone this long without doing a
play and realized that I missed it.  It was like all actors say.  Film was
a director's medium.  Theater was an actor's.  The temptation of becoming a
movie star was a powerful one.  The heavy promotion that my last film was
getting was surely going to make me a household name.  Did I really just
want to walk away from all that?

	Movie and theater scripts were being sent to me almost on a daily
basis.  The studio I was working for wanted me to sign a contract for three
more films over the next five years.  Two or three more movies and I could
probably guarantee that I would never have to work again to support myself
in the lifestyle I wanted.  It was funny I guess, but I never contemplated
JC's money in my future, and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.
I continued to think about what decisions were best for me and my career,
assuming that if JC truly loved me, he would support any decision I might
make.

	It was very unlikely that there would be another NSYNC album,
though the group would probably speak of one for the next couple of years.
Chris was in his thirties.  Joey had a kid.  There was only so long people
would want to see five grown men sing and dance in unison.  I predicted
that JC might try to put out another solo album, but he could certainly
write anywhere, and I didn't know if his audience would ever be big enough
to launch a huge tour.  It was a shame really.  Despite my belief that he
really was talented and that his solo work was excellent, I often wondered
why he would risk not being successful in something when he had been part
of one of the most successful pop groups of all time.  Sure Justin became a
superstar, but NSYNC only was what it was because of all the guys, and so I
didn't think it was fair for people not to consider that success as
belonging to JC.

	He had already made and would continue to make more money than I
would ever see, yet I still wondered if I was nuts to buy an apartment
worth one million dollars.  A sinister voice in my head told me that it was
because I didn't see JC in my future, but I refused to listen to it, sure
that there was no basis to feel that way.  I made decisions the way I did
because, for better or for worse, I always put myself first.  It was never
at the expense of someone else, but I felt like my life was extremely
important, and most of the people around me agreed.

	When JC came back to me, he made it clear that he was going to take
the effort to keep us together.  I took that as recognition that my career
was just beginning and that he wanted me to have all the success that he
had.  Still, I always referred to his house in LA as "his," and I often
called Nate Berkus to check on the status of "my" apartment.  Occasionally
I would start to wonder how we would ever formalize our relationship - how
we would make everything "ours" - but it was a topic we didn't discuss.
Once my first film came out I would basically be living under a microscope,
at least for a while.  I knew it was going to have some effect on our
relationship, though I didn't know what that would be.

	Would I come out and hope that I would still be offered film roles?
Would I try to make the world think JC and I were just best friends?
Pictures of us occasionally appeared in US magazine or some other tabloid,
so I knew that people were already speculating.  JC didn't seem
particularly bothered by it.  He figured that as long as you don't say one
thing or the other, you can pretty much do what you want.  Constantly
singing songs about having sex with girls didn't hurt either, and worked a
nice contrast to pictures of us in baseball hats, walking out of Starbucks.

	Having a recognizable face made me realize a few things.  I had
always loved the attention I received on stage.  I loved the standing
ovations, the flowers and the glowing reviews.  I loved doing photo shoots,
magazine layouts and interviews.  What I realized I hated was being stopped
on the street for autographs.  I hated being gawked at and feeling like I
wasn't free to walk around by myself.  More and more frequently, one of
JC's bodyguards would have to accompany when I went out, and I didn't know
how much longer I could take it.  Before all of this started to happen, I
would have thought I would have loved the attention, but now I just wanted
it to go away, and whenever I started to feel overwhelmed, I turned back to
the theater scripts that were being sent to me.

	Christine, my co-star and an actress from Chicago, knocked on my
dressing room door, calling my name.  "Come on in," I called, putting down
a congratulatory note my friend Maggie had sent me.  I hadn't expected
Maggie to become one of my best friends, but now I missed her something
awful.  Christine came in, congratulated me, and proceeded to express her
issues with today's script changes.  She spoke very quickly, always with a
bit more emotion than was necessary to the conversation.  Throughout
filming she had pretty much been a nervous wreck, and had basically turned
me into her drama coach.  I was happy to do it because I knew it would
produce a better result on film, but I would have been even happier if she
could have just acted all on her own.

	We proceeded to film about ten seconds of a scene before cutting to
readjust the lighting and do a bunch of other things.  This was the movie
business.  Act for a couple of minutes, and then sit around for a few
hours.  Around lunchtime I headed back to my dressing room, eager to check
my messages and see who else wanted to congratulate me.  There were
messages from Edward, my parents and another message from Allen.  There
were also a couple of messages from my friend Elaine, whom I had not spoken
to in quite some time.  I called Allen back since I had left him hanging
earlier in the morning.  He proceeded to give me even more great news when
he told me that I had been asked to host the season finale of "Saturday
Night Live" in May.  It would coincide perfectly with the release of my
film, and let the whole world know that I was on the scene.  It was one of
those things I had secretly always hoped to do someday, and I yelped with
excitement, already imagining the funny kind of skits I would end up doing.
Allen told me that with my nomination and all the buzz surrounding the
film, the studio was going to spend an unprecedented amount of money on
advertising and publicity, believing that this would be their big summer
movie.  I had yet to see a final version of it, but I knew there was great
potential for it to do very well.  After all, I was shirtless for a good
percentage of it.

	After calling back my family it was time to go back to the set, so
Elaine would have to wait for a callback.  I realized that it was probably
rude that I hadn't seen her in all of this time since she lived in LA, but
it wasn't exactly like I had a lot of time on my hands.  Besides, I was
sure she was just calling to congratulate me.

	We wrapped pretty early that day, and so I was back at JC's house
by three in the afternoon.  To my surprise there were two more messages
from Elaine, and I started to wonder if she was perhaps calling for another
reason.

	"Elaine," I said cheerfully into the phone.  "It's been quite a
while."

	"I know," she said.  She was trying to sound cheerful as well, but
I could tell that she was exasperated.  We exchanged pleasantries for a
bit, and I was quite humbled when I realized she actually had no idea about
my nomination.  After a few minutes, she said, "So listen, um, I talked to
Morris and he told me that you were here in LA working on a film."

	"That's correct," I said, feeling very guilty for not saying
something sooner.

	"Do you think it would be possible for us to get together today?  I
really need to talk to you.  It's pretty important."

	"Is everything ok?" I asked, suddenly very concerned.  "Are you
alright?"  Elaine had been one of my best friends all through college, and
really the only reason we had lost touch was because she moved to the West
Coast to be a dancer right after graduation.

	"I'm fine," she said.  "We just need to talk."

	"Ok," I said.  I told her I was staying with a friend and gave her
JC's address.  It seemed to be a little too much information to add to our
short phone conversation that I was dating a huge pop star.  Elaine said
she would be over as soon as she could.  I closed the phone, concerned, but
refusing to speculate.  She said that she was fine, so I would resist
getting all worked up over something that was probably nothing.

----------

	Trying to think of someway to busy myself, having received most of
my congratulations, I wandered into the study, and began flipping through
JC's CD collection.  JC was not home, making me wonder once again what it
was that he did during the day.  Since I kind of wished he were here, I
decided to put his own CD on, turning up the volume and walking around the
room, curious to see if there were parts of it I had yet to notice.  As was
inevitable whenever I heard a good base line, I was soon dancing around the
room, foolishly attempting to imitate some of JC's moves.  After completing
a rather dizzying spin, I looked up to see JC staring at me, his arms
folded across his chest.  I immediately screamed like a girl with
embarrassment, dropping to the floor, hoping that I would sink into it.

	"Having fun?" JC laughed, walking toward me.

	"I was," I said miserably, staring at the floor.

	"So this is what you do when you get home early?" he said, not
wanting to relieve my humiliation.

	"Sometimes."  He reached his hand out to help me up.  Reluctantly I
grasped it, raising myself up in front of him, staring down at JC's face.
"What?" I asked, noticing the smirk on his face.

	"Nothing," he said, looking up at me.  "I just wish you weren't
taller than me."  He laughed as I surrounded him with my larger arms.

	"You love it," I laughed back, kissing his sweet lips.

	"So you like my music?" he asked sarcastically.

	"It was a great album, Josh," I said seriously.  "Great for having
sex too," I said realizing almost immediately that I shouldn't have said
since he wasn't the person I was having sex with when his album came out.
"Sorry," I said, shaking my head.

	"It's ok," he said.  "I can deal with the fact that you had sex
with your ex-boyfriend."

	"But you were a virgin when we met, right?" I laughed.

	"Yeah," he said, rolling his eyes.  "Sure."  He paused for a
moment, just looking into my eyes.  "Oh, so listen," he began.  "I have
some pretty good news myself."  He broke our embrace and walked over to the
stereo to lower the volume.

	"What is it?" I asked, always in the mood for more good news.

	"The group was just asked to be the musical guest for the season
finale of 'Saturday Night Live'," he smiled.

	"Wow," I said, kind of laughing, kind of feeling bad that I had
news to top it.

	"What?" he asked immediately, wondering why my reaction was
strange.

	"Nothing," I said.  "That's great.  It's just that, well, I was
just asked this afternoon to host the last episode."

	"Oh my God," he said, looking completely delighted.  "That is
awesome.  We are all going to do it together.  Maybe we can all be in a
skit together."

	"God," I laughed.  "The public is going to think we are joined at
the hip."

	"Well," he sighed, batting his eyes at me.  "This is great Nate.
It's going to be great.  You know, the show is a lot of fun to do."

	"I'm so excited about it," I said, watching JC head toward the
door.  "Where are you going?"

	"I've had this beat in my head all day," he said.  "I just want to
lay it down before I forget it."

	"Ok," I said.  "An old friend of my is stopping by in a few
minutes."

	"Cool," he said.  "I'll be in the studio."

	JC went downstairs while I went upstairs to change.  Under normal
circumstances I would have been happy to see Elaine, but her tone was
worrying me.  A few minutes later her voice came through the intercom, and
I opened the gates, allowing her to pull into the driveway.  I came out to
greet her and was shocked to see what she was holding in her arms.

	"What is that?" I called, rushing over to her.

	"It's a baby, stupid," she laughed, walking over to me.  She was
looking around at the house, most likely wondering why I was staying here.
I kissed her hello and immediately asked her when all of this happened.

	"She's three months old," she said, her bright blue eyes staring at
me.  Elaine was my age but was blessed with the gift of permanently looking
like she was nineteen.  "Her name is Madeline."  I made a gesture that
asked if I could hold the baby, and she gladly handed it over.  "Ugh," she
sighed.  "I think she weighs almost as much as I do."  I looked down at the
baby, a picture of perfection, large blue eyes and a tiny heart-shaped
mouth.

	"How could you not tell me you were having a baby?" I asked,
clutching Madeline to my chest.

	"I don't know," Elaine said.  "Everything has been so hectic for
the past year, and we haven't really been in touch."

	"I know," I said, sadly.  "Now I really feel terrible about that.
I mean, this is kind of a big deal."

	Elaine surveyed the property again.  "Nathan, what are you doing
here?"

	"Oh, this is my boyfriend's place," I said, realizing that I made
the statement with a certain sense of pride.  Still, it seemed almost like
bragging to just come out and say who he was.

	"Well, well," she smiled.  "Looks like you snagged yourself a rich
one."  I escorted her inside to the living room, still carrying the baby,
who seemed quite content in my arms.  I had never really been around
babies, but was happy to see that at least this one seemed comfortable
around me.  We sat down and started to talk.  It quickly became apparent to
me that Elaine was not married, and she made no reference to a boyfriend,
so I assumed that she was raising Madeline by herself.  Her straight blond
hair hung nicely around her face, and I figured that she must have resumed
dancing right after the baby came because her shape was as beautiful as
always.

	In the early years after college, Elaine had danced for a ballet
company in LA.  After that she had appeared in a few stage productions, and
even went on tour with Janet Jackson.  Ballet would always be her first
love, but she prided herself on being an incredible performer in all areas
of dance.

	"So I take it you haven't been doing much dancing lately," I
smiled, noticing that Madeline had fallen asleep in my arms.  I had an
irresistible desire to bite her tiny clenched hands, but figured that I
shouldn't.

	"I was just offered a full-time job in Vegas," Elaine said,
"dancing in one of those big nightly spectacles at the MGM."

	"Wow, are you going to do it?" I asked, not sure if that was a good
thing for a dancer to be doing.

	"Well, they offered me a lot of money surprisingly," she began.
"Plus, I would only have to work for a few hours at night which would let
me spend the day with Madeline."

	"But would you want to live in Las Vegas?"

	"There's nothing really keeping me here anymore," she said, looking
a bit sad.  The idea of raising a child in Las Vegas seemed somewhat
bizarre to me, but I figured if Celine Dion was doing it, it must be ok.

	"So is this what you wanted to discuss with me?" I asked,
remembering the concern in her voice when she had called.

	"No," she said.  She was silent for a moment.  "I needed to tell
you that someone broke into my apartment last night."

	"What?" I yelled.  "Are you guys ok?"

	"I'm fine," she said quickly.  "We are fine.  We weren't home when
it happened."

	"Oh thank God," I sighed, totally creeped out by the idea of
someone entering my house.  "So what is it then?  Do you need a place to
stay?  You can totally stay here if you are afraid to go back?"  Yes, I was
offering JC's house without his permission, but I couldn't imagine he would
mind under the circumstances.

	"No, it's not that," she said.  "It has more to do with you."

	"Me?" I asked, lifting my eyebrows and squeezing them together.
Madeline's little body jolted and I wondered if it was possible that she
was having a bad dream.

	"Nathan," Elaine began, "I don't know how much this is going to
upset you, but do you remember that package you sent me last spring?"  I
had to think for half a second before I could feel all of the blood
draining from my face.  She was one of the people I had sent the
compromising videotape of Lance to when I was worried he would try to ruin
my relationship with JC.  It suddenly sounded so stupid and poorly planned.

	"Yes," I said reluctantly.

	"Well, it's, uh, gone.  They took it."

	"They took it?" I gasped.  "Why would they take it?"

	"I kept it in a small firebox with my important papers.  They must
have thought there was something valuable in it."

	"Oh, God, this is bad," I said, my heart starting to race.  "This
is really bad."

	"I never opened it," she said.  "Your letter said not to, but what
was in it?"

	"You might find out sooner than you think if we don't get it back,"
I said.  I wondered if a house burglar had ever been caught in LA.  There
was always a chance that whoever had the tape might just throw it away, but
what if they didn't?  What if they watched it and recognized who was on the
tape?  Lance's life would be ruined and so would mine once Lance got a hold
of me.  And JC.  JC would be hurt by proxy.  I couldn't believe that my
brain was once again swimming with thoughts of how I could keep JC.  If the
tape got out, Lance would most certainly tell JC that I was the reason, and
after everything JC and I had been through, I really doubted that he would
be willing to forgive one more thing.

	"I filed a police report," Elaine added.  "Maybe they will find my
stuff, but I just thought you should know in case you have to take any
action."

	"I'm really sorry to have involved you in this," I said.  "But the
only way to prevent me from having a huge problem would be if we get the
stuff back."

	"Nathan, it wasn't something illegal, was it?"

	"No, no," I assured her.  "It's just something that could really
hurt someone's reputation."  I thought that I sounded like I was on a soap
opera.

	"Well, I just described it to the police as being a 'package,' so I
wouldn't feel to hopeful about getting it back."

	"God, this sucks so bad," I said, my stomach tying up in knots.  I
felt bad for so many people at the moment that I didn't know what to do.
This was all my doing, but I only did what I thought was necessary at the
time.  It wasn't supposed to come back to haunt me.

	"I'm sorry, Nathan," Elaine said.  "It will be ok."

	"I'm sorry," I countered.  "This is something that happened to you.
I shouldn't be making it all about me."  I asked her what else had been
taken and she was just about to answer when I heard JC call my name.

	"We're in the living room," I called back, quickly looking back at
Elaine.  "That's Josh," I said to her.  "Um, do you think you could not
mention anything about the package?" I whispered.

	"Of course," she said.

	"Hey," JC said, noticing me from the hallway he was walking down.
"You didn't tell me your friend was a baby."

	"Funny," I said with feigned laughter.  It was quite difficult to
switch gears like this.  "This is my new friend.  My old friend is on the
other couch."  JC walked into the room, pushing his hair back and away from
his face.

	"Oh my God," I heard Elaine say.  I turned to her to see her
looking at JC with an expression of shock.  I realized that I should have
told her that he was a celebrity but became quite confused when I heard JC
gasp with the same words.  Both of them were looking at each other as
though they were both ghosts, and I started to think that they must know
each other.

	"I knew this place looked familiar," she said standing up and
walking toward the back of the couch.  "God, I'm such an idiot for not
recognizing it during the day."

	"What?" I asked, very confused.

	"I, um, I..." JC stuttered.

	"What?" Elaine yelled back.  "You meant to call me the next day but
you just forgot?"

	"I don't know what to say," JC said, looking more uncomfortable
than I had ever seen him.  He kept shifting his weight from side to side
and I could tell he was having difficulty finding a place to put his hands.

	"What's to say?" Elaine said.  "I get it all now.  You're gay and
thought you might give the straight thing one last try with me."

	I was surprisingly calm all of the sudden.  I guess the human mind
can only take so much stress before it just cracks and leaves you with a
peaceful, yet somewhat lightheaded feeling.  JC had turned his attention to
me, but I couldn't read his face.  He looked like he wanted help, but I
didn't know what I could offer.  As much as I could piece together, my
boyfriend had had a one-night stand with someone who was not only one of my
best friends, but also a woman; and had never spoken to her again.

	"So you two know each other?" I said, realizing that the line was a
bit funnier than it should have been.

	"'Known' is too formal of a word," Elaine said.  She glared back at
JC.  "Maybe you should have just left some cash by the nightstand."

	"That's not fair," JC said, looking back at her.

	"I know," Elaine said, shaking her head.  "I'm a big girl and
responsible for my own decisions."

	I wasn't really listening to them anymore.  My eyes had drifted
back down to the little baby in my arms.  Madeline's big eyes opened and
she stared up at me, her little mouth opening in a yawn.  It was like a
light bulb suddenly shattered in my head, and I looked back at JC, who was
now staring at the bundle in my arms as well.

	"Um, Josh," I began.  "When exactly did all of this happen?"

	His eyes met mine.  They had turned ice blue and his usually pink
lips were white.  "About a year ago," he said with a sound of defeat.  He
broke our eye contact and looked down at the floor.  I looked back at
Madeline, who I thought had just given me a smile.

	I had to admit it.  I was impressed with how many things could suck
all at once.


To be continued