Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2001 22:50:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: Sun Child <heartmindsoulau@yahoo.com>
Subject: JC Dreams 30

After such a long <insert cringe factor here> delay, JC Dreams has returned
to you.

DISCLAIMER:

This series is entirely fiction. It is by no means an inference into who
Nsync is and any of the band members sexuality. If you are under the legal
age to read this I now request you leave.  If you are offended by M/M
topics, I would ask that you remove yourself from reading this story as
well.  I am by no means affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA Records.

AUTHOR'S WORDS:

I want to send out my most heartfelt sympathy to those who have been
devastated by the events of the terrorism in the US. My heart goes out to
you and I pray that those who have died are in a better place. I offer my
condolences to those who have been affected by loss of a loved one with
this horror.

AUTHOR'S THANKS:

I want to thank so many people now but I don't know where to start.  Well
to start, I should thank the Nifty Archivist who has allowed me to post
this series on his site and has continued to let me. Next I would like to
thank my most devout reader, Jordan.  My young friend, you are amazing. You
have a sense of knowledge and street smarts that belies your age. Welcome
to my family.  Carsten, my friend, your support to this series and to me
with all that has happened, words cannot say thank you enough. You are one
in a million. Your way with words always manage to make me smile and make
me realise when I've fucked up in the story some where. Without you, JC
Dreams would be totally and utterly rooted at times. Tim, the net is a big
place and it can also be a dangerous place. Keep in mind the lessons I have
taught. Things can go wrong, but it is up to you to make them right. To
anyone who has read and written in... thanks, your words of support are a
blessing to me in disguise. You may not realise the impact but they are all
amazing. To those who have read and not written in, thanks for just
reading.

FEEDBACK:

heartmindsoulau@yahoo.com ONLY! (I am no longer using hotmail or ICQ as I
am not having major problems with an ex and he has my hotmail so I have
closed the account)

DEDICATION:

This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January - 1980 to
20 - August - 2000. From his memory and support, a story born. Eternal rest
grant unto him O'Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest
in peace. Amen

JC Dreams 30 by Sun Child

   "Yes Josh, that's right I could have cancer." Continued Tony. JC looked
down to the floor, unsure of how to take the news.  Tony leant back against
a wall as JC looked up. The other members looked away and Justin sat down
heavily where he was. Chris looked at Tony trying to discern what he had
just heard. Joey walked out of the room as Lance leant back against a wall.
   "Why didn't you tell me Tony? I want to help you through this. I can't
help if you won't talk to me though." Tony nodded and looked away.
   "I'm sorry Josh but I needed to think it over for myself. It was all
daunting and confusing for me."
   "I understand that Tony, but this is me and I can't help if you won't
tell me. I love you Tony and you know that I will help you until death do
us part." Tony looked at JC and walked over to him.
   "I know you do Josh and I was stupid for not coming to you. I was scared
and didn't know what I should do." Tony wrapped his arms around JC and
rested his head on JC's shoulder. JC in return put his arms around Tony and
held him, gently kissing his head, quiet tears rolling down over his cheek.

The afternoon drifted as the group kept apart from each other. JC sat on
the couch as Tony retreated to the bunks to spend time with
Butterscotch. Justin sat beside JC incase he wanted to talk. Joey and Chris
made themselves busy and absorbed themselves in the playstation that was in
the corner.  Lance sat at the table reading.  Eventually Justin spoke up.
   "Time to talk about it." The group looked at Justin then away again,
none of them wanting to broach the delicate subject.
   "I'm not kidding. Some one go get Tony. The longer none of us talk about
this, the harder it's going to be for us to work through this and support
Tony. No one moved as Justin eyed them all.  Standing, he looked at them.
   "I'm getting Tony. By the time I get back, everyone better be sitting at
the couches so we can talk." With that Justin walked off to fetch Tony.

Walking into the bunking areas, Justin found Tony sitting there absent
mindedly stroking Butterscotch who was curled up on his lap.  Justin sat
down next to Tony.  Tony looked over at Justin.
   "Hey Juz." He said softly.
   "Hey Tone.  Will you come out and sit with us so we can talk about all
this?"
   "I don't want to talk about it Justin. It's hard enough to deal with it
on my own without having to dredge it all up with you guys."
   "I know it is Tony. We want to help and support you but we can't until
you come and talk to us.  Please Tony, come and talk to us." Tony looked
into Justin's pleading eyes and nodded slowly. Justin smiled and stood as
Tony cupping Butterscotch in his arms.  They walked out to the living area
together.

When they made it out, the group was sitting at the couches, none of them
talking.  Tony sat down next to JC with a slight gap between them and kept
Butterscotch close.  JC didn't make any attempt to move closer to Tony,
barely even making acknowledgment that Tony was indeed sitting there. The
group remained quiet until Lance spoke.
   "Well Justin, we are all here like you asked, how about you start
talking since you're so keen on it." Lance's voice dripped with cruelty
with the last sentence. Tony's head snapped up and glared at Lance.
   "Don't you dare speak to Justin that way Lance." Lance's head snapped
around to look at Tony.
   "Like you can talk Tony, you're the one who was so bloody selfish that
you couldn't talk to us about it to start off with. Inside you decided to
cry 'woe is me' and run to the alcohol."
   "Sorry for not being so fucking perfect Lance. Guess we can't all be
like you." Tony threw back.
   "He never said he was perfect Tony, he told the truth and didn't run and
hide from it like some." Spat Chris.
   "Would you broadcast you're dying Chris would you? You couldn't even
tell us you had a new girlfriend." Joey threw at Chris.  JC sat on the
couch shaking with anger and listening to the arguement rage around.
   "WILL YOU LOT SHUT THE FUCK UP!" JC finally exploded bringing the other
two to a complete stand still.
   "You all seem intent on fighting and not talking about it. You want to
be here for Tony and support him with his sickness but you bitch and get
angry about it." JC growled at them.
   "At least we can get our thoughts in the open about things." Lance threw
viciously at JC.  Tony stood up and glared at Lance.
   "Don't you ever talk to him like that again James." Lance stood and
looked at Tony square in the eyes.
   "Or what? You'll hit me? Tony you don't have the balls to hit me.  You
do it playfully, but not for real. You are too coward."  Next thing Lance
knew he was sitting on the floor, Tony standing above him, fist clenched.
   "No one speaks to Josh that way and no one calls me a coward. Pull your
head outta ya fuckin' ass and get a grip."
   "Just because you're goin' to hell and I'm not." Lance threw back
pulling himself to his feet.
   "What's that meant to mean? That I'm not good enough and do enough
things right that I'll never make it to heaven?"
   "It means you live in sin.  You're just some stupid faggot who sins by
being man.  Man shall not lie beside man." Lance threw at him.
   "Don't talk to me about the bible Lance. If I remember correctly, you're
the one with a thing for Justin." Lance's expression read horror that his
secret had been exposed to the group and it quickly changed to hate.
   "Trust me you say.  Trust you I did and you couldn't keep it to
yourself. Asshole." With that, Lance turned on heel and walked from the
room.  The remaining five sank into silence.

As the bus pulled into the hotel, the six climbed off the bus, none of them
speaking.  As the rooms were divided up, Justin looked at them.
   "I'm not staying with Lance." Lance's face registered hurt and then
ignorance.
   "Fine. I'll stay with Joey or Chris."
   "Sorry, we're together."
   "You can stay in the room on your own Lance. Justin can stay with us."
JC spoke up. Lance's face was cold and expressionless.
   "Fine. See you all later." He then turned and stalked off to the lift.
The rest of them looked at each other then headed for the stairs.

As Tony, JC and Justin walked into the room, Justin looked at the other
two.
   "Thanks for this guys. I really do appreciate it." JC put his arm around
Justin.
   "Stin, it's no problem.  You know that we don't mind. You are, afterall,
basically family." Justin turned and looked at Tony.
   "I'm sorry I started all that Tony. You didn't need to go through
that. It was insensitive on my part." Justin aid with apology sounding out
in his voice.  Tony shook his head.
   "It's fine Justin.  As I said, I could have cancer. It hasn't been
confirmed yet." Justin nodded and hugged Tony.  The three walked away, Josh
and Tony out onto the balcony as Justin sat down heavily on the bed.

   "I don't know what to do Tone. The group is falling apart infront of my
eyes. Again." JC spoke gently to Tony, his voice carrying a somber tone
that crushed Tony's heart.
   "Give it time to settle Josh. They've got to adjust and accept as well."
   "They've got to calm? Since when has it been their fiance that's dying?"
Asked JC with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
   "Might have cancer Josh. Might is different to having. It's not one
hundred percent positive yet." Tony warned him.
   "I know, I know. It's just that it's taken me so long to find you Tony,
I don't want to lose you now."
   "It's taken me just as long to find you too Josh. I'm not going to give
up that easily. I'm having too much fun with my career and am too attatched
to you that I don't want to."
   "You're attatched to me?... and here I was thinking you were here
because you loved me." Smiled JC. Tony smiled back.
   "You know that's the only reason I'm here. Even if I didn't have my
career, I would be here with you." JC leant over and kissed Tony lightly.
   "You know that's the first time you've smiled since all this happened?"
Tony said quietly to JC.
   "I guess it is. I haven't had a lot to smile for."
   "How about the fact that I am here, alive and with you and that you are
alive here and with me?" Asked Tony.
   "I guess those are good enough reasons." JC grinned.
   "You guess?"
   "Fine, I know those are all the good reasons." Tony took JC's hand in
his and held it as the pair looked out over the city into the fading
sunset.

The next day when the others gathered in Tony, JC and Justin's room, Lance
was strangely absent.
   "Anyone know where Lance is?" Asked Tony returning from Lance's room.
The other four all shook their heads.
   "Just means more breakfast for us." Grinned Joey. Tony laughed and shook
his head.
   "Maybe he went for a walk. He'll be okay." Justin commented before
returning to his cereal. Tony nodded and walked towards the bedroom. JC
stood up and followed.
   "Not again you two... you kept me awake all night, the walls aren't that
thick you know." Moaned Justin happily. Tony stuck his tongue at Justin and
kept going.

Inside the bedroom Tony lay down on the bed as JC sat beside him.
   "Okay Tony, spill, what's up?"
   "I don't know. I guess I'm just worried about Lance.  It's probably
nothing, I know but I can't shake the feeling that something's wrong." Tony
said sighing. JC nodded his head.
   "Lance is big enough to look after himself ya know."
   "I know, I guess I just worry too much."
   "You do. Now come and eat." JC told him. Tony leant over and nibbled
lightly on JC's neck.
   "Not me, food." JC said pointing.  Tony stuck out his tongue.
   "Spoil sport." JC leant over and whispered in Tony's ear.
   "We're still to shower remember." Tony looked at JC and grinned.
   "Kick out the others?"
   "They're eatting."
   "So?"
   "It'd be rude."
   "Our room."
   "They're food." Their senseless banter continued as they walked out of
the bedroom smiling.

Tony made his way over to the food and looked at what was on offer. JC
walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist and rested
his head on Tony's shoulder.
   "What are you having?" Asked JC quietly.
   "It's what I'm not getting." Whispered back Tony.
   "Later I told you."
   "Better be." Giggled Tony.  The door swung open and both Tony and JC
looked up and saw Lance standing there swaying slightly. His shirt was
torn, his blonde hair matted. Blood was drying on his brow and a black eye
well into development. JC let go of Tony who rushed over to Lance and
grabbed him before he fell down. Guiding his gently to a seat he sent JC
off to get a face towel to clean down Lance's face.
   "Lance, what happened?" Asked Tony as the others crowded around.
   "I went for a walk and there was a group of guys and they don't like our
music and we're all faggots if you listen to them." Lance said brokenly.
   "Shit Lance. Why didn't you take on of us."
   "Because you were all angry with me about it all."
   "We'd all calmed down by then, you should have at least tried."  Justin
took the rag from JC as he returned and knelt down next to Lance.
   "We'd better get you cleaned up hey Scoop." Smiled Justin. Lance looked
up carefully at Justin and smiled faintly."
   "Sounds like a plan Justin." Tony moved away while Justin went to work
on cleaning Lance's face.

An hour later, the room emptied save for Tony and JC.
   "Gonna keep the promise?" Asked Tony.
   "You say I've got a one tracked mind." Sighed JC with a grin.
   "You do though."
   "True I do have a one tracked mind. I just can't stop thinking about
Lance though. After seeing him just then, I realised just how lucky I am to
have someone in this world like you. Someone I love and loves me. It makes
me feel so alive."
   "Makes two of us babe..." Tony started as his cell phone went off in the
other room. Groaning Tony went off to answer it.
   "Hello?... Yes speaking... Yes I have been waiting for
results... They're in? I was told a while longer yet... Oh okay
then... oh... no, no that's alright... okay, yeah thanks, bye." Tony said
as he hung and looked up and saw JC, standing there, fear in his eyes.
   "That was the hospital. They have my results for me."

---
Love it or hate it here it is.  What do you think? Let me know
-= heartmindsoulau@yahoo.com =-  ... please remember this is my only
account now as hotmail is no longer being used.  Later guys.
~hugs kisses and cookies~
SunChild