Date: Sun, 01 Sep 2002 17:48:09 -0400
From: Writer Boy <writerboy69@hotmail.com>
Subject: jc's hitchhiker - part 126

Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:

1) If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or
you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You
shouldn't be here.

2) I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no
way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or
anything else.  This is a work of pure fiction.

Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I enjoy
constructive criticism, praise, and rational discussion. I do not enjoy
flames, and will not tolerate them.

That said, on with Season 7.

***Lance***

Lance and Justin were slowly getting changed in their dressing room,
staring at each other and looking away, both of them blushing. Things
between them felt ok again, but now there was this other thing, too, and it
kind of frightened them both.

"Justin?" Lance asked, pulling his shirt on. "How did this happen? How did
you? What made you?"

"Joey," Justin answered, watching Lance's eyes widen. "Joey and the other
guys."

Justin leaned back on the table behind him, crossing his arms. His shirt
was sleeveless, and his shoulders gleamed in the light, somehow looking
soft and hard at the same time.  Lance almost turned away, not wanting to
make Justin uncomfortable, but then he remembered that he was allowed to
think about Justin that way now. He was allowed to think about Justin's
long legs, and the way they looked so tight and powerful under his track
pants as he leaned back on that desk, and he was allowed to notice Justin's
t-shirt stretching across his pecs. He knew from his own experience that he
still had to think of Justin's boundaries, that Justin wouldn't be ready
for everything, or maybe even for anything, right away, but for now, it was
ok to stare, and to imagine.

"I got my own room because I was afraid that I was keeping you from being
happy," Justin said. He saw Lance's face shift, and continued quickly. "It
wasn't anything you said, or did. I just, I knew that Chad liked you, and I
was afraid that you liked him, but that you wouldn't act on it because I
was around, and you thought you had to take care of me, so I thought I
should go."

"Justin," Lance began, wanting to tell him that wasn't true. Justin held up
a hand to cut him off.

"Let me finish, please," Justin said. "I don't want to tell this over and
over, Lance."

"OK," Lance said, understanding. Sometimes it was still hard for Justin to
talk about his emotions, and Lance didn't want to get in the way of that.

"I shouldn't have been by myself," Justin said, shaking his head. "I wasn't
ready. I couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to go back on it, and go back to
you, but I didn't want to be by myself, either. I ordered some breakfast,
but when the guy came with it I was too scared to open the door for him,
because I didn't know him, and I started arguing with him, through the
door. Joey heard me, and he came and broke it up, and then I let him in,
and he took care of me. He held onto me, like you did, and it was nice, but
he wasn't you.  I went back to sleep, and then when I woke up he started
talking to me, and we started talking about you, and I told him that I
loved you."

"What did he say?" Lance asked, remembering what Joey had said about Lance
and Justin falling in love. He said now that he didn't mean that, but this
would be the real answer.

"He said that I had to tell you," Justin answered. His eyes were
glistening.  "He said that I had to tell you, and that if I loved you I had
to fight for you, and that I couldn't just give up. I wanted to tell you
last night, and that's why I was so weird with you yesterday. I got scared,
and I couldn't do it, and Joey, and the other guys, they convinced me to
try again."

Lance got up and walked over to him carefully, reaching out to carefully
scoop a tear off of Justin's cheek. Justin shuddered under Lance's touch,
goosebumps breaking out up and down his arms, and he tilted his head
forward, closing his eyes as Lance flicked his tears away.

"Why are you crying, Justin?" Lance asked, his fingertips fluttering over
Justin's face, over the long lines he knew so well, past the pink lips and
the amber brown eyelashes and brows.

"Because I was stupid," Justin answered. "I was so stupid, and so scared. I
should have just talked to you, just told you, but I was so afraid."

"You're not stupid, Justin," Lance said. "I was afraid, too. I care so much
about you, and I wanted to help you so much, that I stopped letting myself
think about you that way. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, or hurt
you, so I stopped letting myself think about you except as someone who
needed me, someone who was vulnerable and fragile and needed to be taken
care of."

"I am," Justin admitted, the words squeaking out painfully.

"But you don't ever have to be afraid of me," Lance said. Justin's eyes
fluttered open again, so bright and blue, so close to Lance's green
ones. "I promised never to hurt you, Justin, and you know I'll keep it."

"Hold onto me, please," Justin said, reaching out.

"Forever," Lance said, wrapping his arms around him. Justin rested his head
on Lance's shoulder, shaking a little, wet tears still slowly trickling out
of his eyes. "I'll always be here to hold you, Justin."

"I'm sorry I was so stupid," Justin whispered, his arms squeezing Lance's
back, his breath fluttering over Lance's neck.

"I was stupid, too, Justin," Lance said. "I didn't like Chad, not that way.
He liked me, but when I was with him, it was nice, but I didn't feel
anything. I didn't feel that spark, or that feeling inside. I didn't feel
the way I do when I'm with you, Justin, but I kept telling myself that if I
kept going out with him, I would start to. I thought I could make it come,
and it never did. When I was with him, I felt like I was cheating, and I
couldn't figure out why, until I realized that I felt like I was cheating
on you. I loved you all along, Justin, and I was too dumb to realize it and
too scared to tell you."

They held each other for a few moments, just squeezing and holding and
being there, cradling each other, and when they pulled back, Justin was
smiling.

"It's a good thing we love each other," Justin said.

"Why?" Lance asked.

"Because we're too dumb for anyone else," Justin answered, hugging him
tightly again.

"We're not dumb," Lance said, cleaning off both of their leaky faces with a
tissue.  "We're just."

"Stupid?" Justin suggested, taking Lance's hand.

"Special," Lance corrected, flicking off the lights.

The others were all already on the bus when they got there, and as they
climbed up the steps Lance heard all conversation in the back of the bus
freeze as they walked in. JC and Jack were on one of the couches, Jack
laying back against JC's chest as JC fed him grapes. Joey was flipping
through a newspaper at the table, and Chris was pacing around, being
normal, hyperactive Chris. They all turned toward Lance and Justin, their
eyes ticking from their faces down to their linked hands and back again,
nobody saying anything as they all waited.

"Is everything ok?" Chris asked, waiting. Everyone hung on their answer.

"Everything's fine," Lance said, smiling, as he and Justin looked down
shyly at their linked hands, neither of them even realizing they were still
holding onto each other.  "Justin and I realized this whole thing has been
a huge misunderstanding, and that we're better off just being friends."

"What?" four voices blurted at once. A grape actually fell out of Jack's
mouth, bouncing down his chest and onto the floor. Justin looked up at
them, grinning, and wrapped his arms around Lance from behind.

"Gotcha," he said, giggling. "Have you met my boyfriend, Lance?"

There was another pause for a second or two as it sunk in, and then all
four of them were moving at once.

"You assholes!" Jack said, jumping up to hug Lance. "That wasn't funny at
all!"

"It's about fucking time," Chris said, slapping Lance on the back and then
hugging him.

"Congratulations," JC whispered to Justin, holding him tightly. "I'm really
happy for you guys."

"Are you really?" Justin asked, pulling back to look into JC's eyes. Their
chance had come and gone, but they still cared too much about each other
ever to regret it.

"Yeah," JC answered, hugging him again. "Yeah, I am. I just want you to be
happy, Justin, you and Lance both."

"Thanks, Josh," Justin whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too," JC answered, stepping aside so Jack could hug Justin,
too.

Lance turned, and found himself face to face with Joey.

"Hey," Joey said quietly, smiling.

"Hey," Lance said, feeling a little uncomfortable. Was he still supposed to
be mad at Joey if everything worked out ok? "Justin says, um, that you
really helped him, and that a lot of this is, you know, I have you to thank
for it, so, um, thanks, Joey."

"You're welcome," Joey said, holding out his hand to shake. Lance glanced
down at it, and threw his arms around Joey, almost knocking him over.

"I'm sorry I was mad at you," Lance said, his voice muffled by Joey's
shoulder. Joey squeezed him tightly, a patented Joey-bear hug.

"I'm sorry I was a braying jackass," Joey said.

"I'm sorry there's so many people hugging on this bus," Chris said, shaking
his head and walking back to his seat. "Any second now it's going to turn
into a big sweaty orgy."

"Why does everyone say orgy like it's a bad thing?" Jack asked, licking the
side of JC's face quickly as he pulled him back down onto the couch. Justin
looked away a little uncomfortably, taking Lance's hand again, and Lance
guided him to the other couch.  Jack, realizing what he'd done, made an "oh
shit" face, but Lance waved it away as he squeezed Justin's hand tightly.

"What's wrong, Chris?" Joey asked. "Feeling outnumbered?"

"Kind of," Chris answered, looking around. "Joey and I are the last
straight guys in the band."

"I'm bi," Justin said quietly, leaning against Lance.

"I'm not," Lance giggled, holding Justin against him. "And we're not out,
ok?"

The others all nodded, and they finished the ride to the hotel quietly. JC
was leaning back against Jack now, his eyes drifting closed. Every time his
head dipped down, he would snap awake, trying to keep watching, but his
natural tendency kept taking over. Justin rested against Lance, the song
and everything that went with it taking a lot more out of him than he'd
thought it would, and Lance held onto him, content with the familiar weight
at his side, wondering how either of them could have ever thought something
that felt this natural wasn't meant to be. Joey and Chris glanced at each
other, looking at everybody else paired up, and split the paper at the back
table. They piled off the bus as a group, all of them a little sleepy,
since it had been such a long, intense day, and rode up crowded into the
same small elevator, leaning against each other before they split up in the
hallway. Justin paused as they got out, pulling Lance aside.

"Can I, um, move back into your room tonight?" Justin asked.

"Of course you can," Lance answered. "You didn't have to ask, Justin."

"Yeah, I did," Justin answered. "Moving out was a dumb thing, and I know it
bothered you. I can't just move back in without telling you I'm sorry."

"You already said that," Lance said, hugging him. "Come on. I'll help carry
your bags."

"Can Junior sleep with us tonight?" Justin asked.

"Sure," Lance answered. "We'll get him when we're all done, ok?"

Once they were settled in their room, Junior lying on the bed with his tail
wagging slowly, waiting for them to climb in, Justin went into the bathroom
to brush his teeth, and Lance stripped down to his boxers, waiting to go in
and brush his as well once Justin was done. Usually Justin changed into his
pajamas while Lance did that, and then they climbed into bed and fell
asleep together, but Justin seemed to be taking an extremely long time
tonight. Lance glanced at the clock by the bed, and realized that Justin
had been in there for almost ten minutes, and walked over to tap softly on
the door.

"Justin?" he asked, listening.

"Just a second," Justin said, and then he pulled the door open. He wasn't
crying, but Lance thought he might be about to, and his face was very
pale. He picked nervously at the front of his shirt, removing invisible
lint, and Lance could see that his hand was shaking, too.

"Justin, what's wrong?" Lance asked.

"I'm scared," Justin said, swallowing. "I know you won't hurt me, and that
you promised, but I'm still scared, Lance. I still, I can't think about it,
about doing, you know, doing that, the stuff, even with you, Lance."

"Justin, come sit down, ok?" Lance asked, guiding him to the bed. Justin
sat, still watching Lance, his lip quivering, and Lance took his
hand. "Now, nobody said anything about doing anything, Justin."

"But you're," Justin began, swallowing. "You're my boyfriend, now, and
boyfriends, they, you know, they do stuff. I can't do it, Lance. I know you
won't hurt me, and that you'll protect me, but I just, I can't do that."

"I'm not asking you to, Justin," Lance said, smoothing his hand over
Justin's hair. Justin nuzzled against it, still shaking. "I love you,
Justin. That's all I'm asking for. I want to be with you, and love you, and
protect you. That's all."

"But that's, it's not right," Justin said, shaking his head. "You shouldn't
have to, to go without, to not have a real relationship, because of the way
I am."

"You're not hearing me, Justin," Lance said. "I love you. That means I love
everything about you, even then way you are now. I told you, promised you,
that I'll always be here for you, and I'll never hurt you, Justin. I'll
never ask for something from you that you aren't ready to give, and I'll
never regret it, either."

"I won't always be like this," Justin said emphatically, shaking his head.
"I won't, Lance.  Someday I'll get better, I will. I want to, I want to so
badly. I want to hold you, and touch you, and not think about it. I want to
make you happy, and I want to let you make me happy, too. I swear I do,
Lance. I just can't right now."

"I know," Lance said, pulling Justin against him. "And I love you enough to
wait, Justin.  I'll wait my whole life for you if I have to, because I love
you. Tonight, if all you want to do is lay here together, like we used to,
that's fine with me. I want whatever you want.  Hell, if you want me to
sleep on the couch I will, Justin. I'll do whatever you ask me to, and
whatever you need."

"I, I don't want you to sleep on the couch," Justin said quietly, smiling
at him. "I want you to sleep in the bed with me."

"Then that's what I'll do," Lance said, standing. "Now, why don't you get
ready for bed, and I'll go brush my teeth."

"OK," Justin said, nodding.

When Lance came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, Justin was already
in bed, one arm wrapped around Junior, who huddled against his stomach, and
Lance flicked off the lights and walked over to the bed.

"Where do you want me, Justin?" Lance asked.

"Will you hold me?" Justin asked. "Will you hold onto me, and make me feel
safe?"

"Sure," Lance answered, sliding into the bed. He pulled the sheets up over
them, and Justin slid back, spooning against him, settling into the circle
of Lance's arms. Lance hugged him tightly, thinking about how good it felt
to have Justin there again.

"Lance?" Justin whispered.

"Yeah?" Lance answered, his breath fluttering over Justin's neck. Justin
felt warm and firm through his t-shirt.

"Do you remember what happened before the wedding?" Justin asked. "When we
kissed?"

"Yeah," Lance answered carefully.

"You still make me feel safe, Lance," Justin sighed. "You still make me
feel safe, and make me feel like someone cares about me."

"You still make me feel special, Justin," Lance said. "Every time you look
at me I think about the way you feel about me, and that makes me feel like
the luckiest guy in the world."

"I'm still scared, too," Justin whispered. "I'm still afraid, Lance, but
I'm less scared when you're here. I love you."

"I love you, too," Lance answered.

"Do you remember when we kissed?" Justin asked again, turning so that he
was facing Lance. Lance nodded, seeing the bare sparkle of Justin's eyes in
the glow of the night light. "Can I kiss you again?"

"I think I'd like that," Lance answered.

Justin closed his eyes and leaned in, slowly, so slowly, and when his lips
finally brushed against Lance's, it was so feathery and light that anyone
else would have missed it.  Lance, though, felt a shiver run through him,
and Justin, his eyes still closed, leaned in a little more, his lips
pressing more firmly against Lance's. Lance mirrored Justin's moves,
pressing back with his own mouth, following where Justin was comfortable to
lead, and then he opened his eyes again as Justin pulled back and turned
back around.

"We have to try that again soon," Justin sighed, snuggling close to Lance.

"As many times as you want to," Lance said, grinning.

Justin lay beneath the sheets with Lance's arms around him. He could feel
Lance's breath against his neck, and Junior was a warm lump on top of the
covers, pressed against his abs. Lance's arms were strong, and smooth, and
Justin felt completely safe in them. He could feel Lance's heart beating
against his back, Lance's bare chest pressing against his t-shirt. Maybe
right now he couldn't think about Lance that way, but someday he would.
Someday he would take off his shirt, too, and feel that smooth skin against
his own.  Someday he would be able to look at Lance that way, and to do the
kinds of things he'd done before, the kinds of things he knew how to do so
well.

As he felt Lance shift against him he sighed, and hoped that someday would
come soon.

***Jack***

"So," Josh began, draping his arm over me. "What do we do now?"

I smiled contentedly, pressing back against him, feeling his deflated cock
brush my bare ass as his arm played idly with my chest, his thumb circling
my nipple. Our sweat was drying, and the bed was a nicely tangled
mess. Josh's legs and mine were all jumbled together, calves entwining,
hair and muscles dancing against each other.  Somewhere on the floor, out
of my view, was a pile of crumpled tissues and condoms, leftover from Josh
making love to me, and then deciding that he felt like doing it again. I
had cum twice as well, once in Josh's mouth, and once in his hand, and he
had carefully cleaned me off, using as much care as I took with him. Those
damned lace up pants were in a pile on the other side of the room, the last
item of clothing I'd taken off, and I was right. I did look damned sexy
topless in them.

"I think now we go to sleep, unless you want to take a shower," I said,
snuggling against him as he cuddled me. "I know we don't make love again. I
don't think I could get it up again after that."

"You never know," Josh whispered, running a hand down my abs. He wrapped a
hand around my cock and gave it a light caress. "I bet if I kept doing this
you're be ready again."

"Or I'd get a friction burn," I said, chuckling.

"I mean it, though," Josh sighed. "Not about you being up for it again, but
about the rest of it. What do you think's going to happen now?"

"Other than sleeping?" I asked. "You'll drool on the pillow, and I'll
probably snore."

Josh giggled, squeezing me tightly, and then took a deep breath. I felt his
chest flatten against my back, and I sighed as well.

"Do you think Justin and Lance are going to be ok?" Josh asked. "I want
them to be happy, and they care about each other so much. Do you think
they'll be all right?"

"I think so," I answered. "They're too good for each other for it not to
work out. Right now, they're probably holding hands, and talking about the
way they feel."

"You think they'll do more than talk someday?" Josh asked. I'd been
wondering about the same thing, actually.

"They will," I said, shrugging. "They're going to circle around it for a
while, since they're so careful, and Justin isn't ready. Once he is though,
and they get down to it, they'll put us to shame, Josh. Lance's brain is
going to melt once Justin gets back in gear."

"They don't want to come out," Josh said. "That might hurt them, a little."

"I don't think it will," I said, shrugging. "They can be themselves around
us, and Lance wants to take it really slow. His family kind of distanced
themselves when he told them about him and Howie, and Justin still hasn't
told his that he's bi."

"I know," Josh said. "I'm so happy mine loves you."

"I am, too," I said, swallowing. "Josh, I've been giving this a lot of
thought, and I think maybe it's time I tried to mend fences with my family
a little."

"Really?" he asked. "What brought that on?"

"Just, you know, all of this," I said. "Going to find out about my mother,
and all that other stuff, well, she wanted me to be happy, Josh. She
thought she was giving me a better life, and I feel kind of like I should
try to realize that a little more. My whole life it's been really easy to
blame my family, but it's not like I've really done a lot to meet them
halfway. I'm a grown adult, and maybe it's time I started treating my
family that way."

"Wow, this really has affected you," Josh said, kissing the back of my
neck.  "Whatever you do, I'll be here for you."

"I know," I said, kissing his arm as it curled around below my chin.
"Besides, Evelyn actually sort of seems to like you."

"Only because I haven't worn my tiger print coat to the club yet," Josh
said, giggling.

"Nor will you," I said sharply, dissolving in giggles as well. The two of
us lay there for a while, just holding onto each other, hands roaming
lazily to feel and caress, but Josh was in some sort of weird mood.

"What about Chris and Vlada?" Josh asked. "Do you think they'll be ok?"

"They'll be fine," I said. "She's already part of the family, and she's a
lot tougher than we give her credit for."

"Those Missouri girls tend to be," Josh said.

"What?" I asked. "Isn't she from, I don't know, eastern Europe? Some sort
of Slavic country?"

"The Slavic side of Branson, maybe," Josh said, laughing. "I can't believe
Chris never told you that. She's from Missouri, Jack. The accent's part of
her persona."

"Does everyone know that?" I asked. "I can't believe nobody brought that
up, or let it slip. Hell, I can't believe Vlada never told me."

"There probably just wasn't a right time," Josh said. "Joey and Lance don't
know, either.  She only told me because I overheard her talking to her mom
on the phone once, and she didn't have the accent on."

"I can't believe that," I said. "No wonder Chris loves her so much. She's
pranking all of us all the time."

"Yeah," Josh said. "I guess I never thought about it that way, but I think
you're right.  They'll be ok. Joey and Kelly, too."

"Yup, now that they're back on again," I said. "Bri has great parents."

"Yeah," Josh sighed. "What about us, Jack? What's going to happen to us
now?"

I thought about it for a minute.

"Well, someday you guys will stop touring, and you'll probably turn into a
bigtime producer and songwriter," I said. "And before you protest, we both
know you're too shy to go solo, like Justin. Instead, you'll get to be the
next Babyface, and you'll love it."

"Probably," Josh agreed, smiling.

"And we'll still be together," I continued, vividly imagining my fantasy
now, rolling it out before me. "I'll give up the speaking thing after a
while, too, and settle down into a regular job, with some normal hours,
where you and I aren't separated. We'll get a couple dogs, and grow old
together, and someday we'll be somebody's really cool uncles."

Neither one of us wanted children. Josh felt like he had a lot to give, but
wanted to focus it through their charity work, like the Challenge for the
Children, and some other stuff.  Neither one of us imagined children for
ourselves, and were perfectly content with the idea that we would just
spoil Heather or Tyler's kids, or, if I patched things up with my family,
we might actually get to spoil my brother's, too. Our house wouldn't ring
with the pitter patter of little feet, but it would resonate with the
clicking of dog toenails on tile.

"No more drama?" Josh asked, sounding hopeful.

"No, no more drama," I answered, shaking my head. "Everything doesn't have
to end with a big, explosive finale, Josh. You and I are just as likely to
spend the rest of our lives holding hands, and holding each other.
Everything doesn't have to end with a bang.  Sometimes it ends with a
whimper."

"I like that idea," Josh said, kissing the back of my neck again as he
pulled me close.

All of our friends were safe. Everyone loved each other again, and there
were no more issues between any of us. Everyone had someone to love,
someone to complete them, and I had Josh with me. I pulled Josh's arm
across my chest, and felt completely content. I loved him, and he loved
me. Everything was going to be ok.

Josh pulled the sheet over us, and we fell asleep.

***

The end.

Yes, that's right, the end. There won't be another season, or even an
epilogue. Thanks, everyone, for reading, and for the tremendous support
you've shown.