Date: Thu, 16 May 2002 18:21:43 +0100
From: Silverjunky <silverjunky@hotmail.com>
Subject: Justin and Redemption Part11-12

Hehe I know this is coming thick and fast (sorry about the pun), but I have
nothing really to do with my time so I do this instead, anyway here is part
11-12, hope it's okay, p.s I'm having a couple doubts about things I'm not
too sure how to do here, in the context of character developments in my
story so if anyone has the kindness to email me and help out it would be
appreciated I just need a little fresh air and someone to bounce ideas of
really if u want to help email me at silverjunky@hotmail . com, thanks.

Legal Stuff: If you are under 18 then don't read this it contains male/male
relations and so on. None of the characters involved are meant to imply
anything about anybody, thanks and goodnight.


Justin and Redemption.
Part10: Precious time.


Last time: Gavin and Justin were spending time together cementing there
friendship while shopping in NYC.


On the way back to the hotel, it was by now dusk, with the trees along
sidewalks breathing to the air, birds chattered quietly outside the taxi
window as Gavin stared out lost in his own little world. Justin was doing
the same thing, both thinking about the days events and the surprisingly
strong relationship that had joined them together.
     Gavin new he loved Justin like a brother and also like true love,
although he couldn't tell Justin that bit he didn't want to ruin what was
becoming a best friend relationship so quickly, meanwhile Justin was
thinking partly about how good it felt to have a best friend, and one so
quickly, who new his world but wasn't inside NSYNC, it was like fresh air
heavily addictive and well...just...right. But he was also trying to
analyse exactly what his head was saying to him about Gavin and their
friendship, he felt protective in a way which you don't get between most
friends, and he didn't know why, well in part he did, he realised that he
felt very close to Gavin and in truth could simply sit and watch the boy
for ages, with a fond smile at Gavin's little quirks and behaviours and
extraordinary personality. But he knew there was something else, something
hovering just before his consciousness, like a tidal wave paused. It had
something to do with the protectiveness he felt he knew that, but it was
larger than that.
     He sighed he couldn't read any part of that for some unknown reason,
he turned to Gavin and a fond smile instantly formed on his lips, the guy
just mesmerised when he wasn't even looking at you. Justin let his eyes
roam over the tousled white blond hair, the shapely and well defined chin
and cheekbones and pouty lips, the perfect nose and skin tone, his smile
grew wider.
      
"Gavin?" he asked lightly, not wanting to intrude on the picture perfect
scene he had detailed.

Gavin turned and with a smile said, "Yes?" his eyes aglow in the dusk
light.

"Have you ever had... well I don't know how to put it, like you knew a
realisation about something was coming but you couldn't quite grasp it, you
want to really bad but it hovers outside your awareness? Sorry that sounded
really heavy I know but I ...was just wondering" Justin finished breath
heavy.

Gavin paused and thought for a moment, "Yes, I have" he nodded slightly
tensely.

Justin noticed this and realised it was something dark which Gavin had
thought about, "You don't have to answer it's just I want to know what this
thing is but I cant seem to get to it at all do you have any thing which
would clear my mind a little" he asked earnestly.

Gavin smiled at such an expression in Justin's eyes, he really loved this
kid, well not a kid anymore, his eyes darkened immediately as he said,
"Well... when I was in hospital, I had something similar I suppose I
couldn't get to it and I knew it was going to have something to do with
getting better but I couldn't figure out what. After months I finally
realised that maybe I needed to know something else to trigger the thought
or whatever to showing me what it was."

Justin took in the words and the dark expression in Gavin's eyes realising
this was very hard for Gavin to talk about, "How did you trigger it?" he
said softly.

"Well, the therapist I was assigned to who I never went to, I always went
for a smoke instead, I eventually went to her and asked something similar
to what you said, and she said maybe it was trying to tell me how to get
better, and with those few words it dawned on me that was exactly what it
was and it showed me, after that I struggled for months trying to
assimilate what this thought was saying and, eventually, I did get better"
Gavin said in a whisper his eyes lost to anything around him.

Justin grabbed his hand and squeezed it in sympathy, Gavin jumped but
didn't pull his hand away, his eyes focused on Justin and he smiled sadly,
"Help?"

"I think so, so what you're saying is that I need a piece to a puzzle to
make this thought show me what's it's about, some piece of information of
something, okay well I don't know where I will get that from but it
helps. Thank you." He beamed at Gavin and then said, "I know that was hard
for you, you never talk about your past so thank you." He squeezed Gavin's
hand once more and then they where there. He jumped out leaving Gavin
looking at his hand, getting all the shopping bags he knocked on the window
waking Gavin up again who jumped out and gave him a hand, then paid the
taxi driver and stepped into the hotel foyer.
         * * *

A few moments later Justin had dropped all the bags on the floor in Gavin's
room, Gavin dumped his bags on the floor next to the rest and then turned
to Justin and a little unsurely said, "So umm are we gonna do something for
the evening or do you just wanna sleep or something, I mean that's fine I
was just wondering, and..."

Justin laughed, "You're rambling, but I dunno I have to check in with the
guys and see if they are okay, otherwise I'm up to doing something
sure. Cool" he said grinning at Gavin.

Gavin sighed in relief he didn't want Justin to go really, there was
something comforting and safe about his presence and Gavin liked to think
there was something similar for Justin, "Okay well you go see your guys I'm
gonna check in with Lucy, Oz and Kacy, if everything is okay then i'll meet
you...?"

Justin thought for a minute and said, "Well how about the pool they have a
bar and it should be nice and warm for a late night swim, yeah?"

Gavin nodded outwardly happy with this, but inside he was worried about it
he didn't like swimming mainly because he hated people seeing his body in
any way. "Okay yeah cool, I'll see you in a bit then." Justin nodded and
headed for the door, shutting it quietly behind him, Gavin grabbed a coke
out of the fridge and gulped it down then had a cigarette, he could just
say he didn't feel like swimming but then he would look stupid for
accepting and he didn't want to hurt Justin's feelings. He shrugged to
himself pulled his jeans off and boxers and pulled a pair of long shorts
on, which were fine to go in water with, and came down to the middle of his
calf's so his legs weren't really showing.
        Checking to make sure everything was okay, he then opened his door
and headed down to Lucy's room, and knocked on the door.

"Hold on" Lucy's voice came through the door, five seconds later it opened,
"Oh hey Gavin back from shopping sooo soon" she said rolling her eyebrows,
"are you feeling okay?"

He chuckled at her wit, and said, "Yeah I am back a bit early but hey never
mind, I just wanted to see how you were is all"

She smiled and then noticed the shorts he had on, "Why are you wearing
shorts, you never wear shorts"

"Justin suggested going swimming so hence the shorts," he explained.

"Oh but you never go swimming, like ever, what changed?" she asked
perplexed.

"Nothing, I just agreed before I had time to think about it, I probably
wont even swim just lay on the side and drink or something" he said half to
himself.

Lucy shrugged and said "So where is Justin?"

"He went to go see the guys and check they were okay"

"Oh right well I have one of them in here so he's gonna miss one" she said
smirking.

"Oh hehe hey Joey" Gavin shouted through the door, "Oh Hey Gavin, have fun
today with Justin, did he wear you out? That boy can really shop" Joey
shouted back.

"No I think I actually wore him out," Gavin shouted in return, Joey just
laughed back in return.

"Is Oz about?" he asked to Lucy who had been smiling at Joey inside the
room.

"Huh oh no he is still out with Jenny, I think he took her on a date, I was
shocked I think our Oz is becoming a man" she chuckled to herself.

"Hehe there is always a first time I suppose okay well if you see him tell
him I say hi yeah? Okay I'll leave you two too you're sordid affair, later"
Gavin said Lucy stuck her tongue out at him and shut the door.

"Well there is nothing for it I suppose I'm gonna have to go down, I just
wont swim is all it'll be fine" Gavin mumbled to himself as he headed for
the elevator.
           * * *

Part 12: Precious moments.

He stepped out of the elevator into the foyer and walked through the empty
lounge and through a pair of French type patio doors, onto the pool area,
it was pretty empty, only about two other couples were there. He walked to
the bar and sat down on a stool, "Yes sir what can I get you?" the male
waiter said from behind the bar.

Gavin lit a cigarette, "Umm I don't know could you mix me something
alcoholic with lime and other fruit juices that would be good" the waiter
smiled at Gavin's complete lack of drink names and proceeded to mix him a
tropical lime shake with healthy doses of martini. "There you go anything
else sir?"

"I don't know not for the minute I'm waiting for a friend so he'll be here
in a second" Gavin said tasting his drink.

"Very good sir," the waiter's tone of voice dropped into a normal voice and
said, "Umm could I get you to sign this? Please I really like your stuff"
then he laughed nervously.

Gavin smiled a little "Sure okay" he signed the piece of paper and the
waiter went to refill the drinks of another couple. Gavin sat and stared
into the setting sun, it was warm with a nice cool breeze he felt his
worries melting away with a little help from the drink, and he stared into
the horizon's sky smoking and thinking.

Justin stepped out of the patio door's and saw Gavin at the bar, staring
into the horizon, it amazed Justin how easily it was for Gavin to seem to
lose himself in his own little worlds, Justin thought as he padded over. He
was wearing a light white t-shirt and swimming shorts.

"Hey could I get a fruit mix with some martini please" he asked the waiter
and stood next to Gavin waiting for him to wake up to reality, from
whatever he was thinking about. Meanwhile the waiter was in heaven serving
the two sexiest men in his wish list catalogue, 'so they are friends huh I
wonder if they are a couple as well' the waiter thought to himself 'they
would make the most sweetest couple' he thought smiling to himself as he
made Justin's drink.

"Oh hey Justin" Gavin said waking up to reality and blinking to clear his
eyes, "when did you get here?"  Justin smiled at Gavin's little time loss
and said, "Just now what were you thinking about so heavily?"

"Nothing much just got lost in the view, look" he said pointing at the
horizon and the gathering darkness tinged with rays of coloured light, like
a kaleidoscope.

Justin looked at the horizon and smiled at the scene then smiled at Gavin
for noticing something like that.

"What are you smiling at?" Gavin asked smiling a little.

"At you, only you could notice something like the beauty of a horizon" he
said lightly.

"Well I suppose I have had lots of practice trying to find beauty in life"
Gavin said with a slight ironic tilt to his smile tinged with bitterness.

This wasn't lost on Justin, he decided then and there that at some point he
was going to have to make Gavin talk about his problems otherwise they were
bound to get the better of him, and Justin's little protectiveness thing
wasn't going to allow that to happen.

Thanking the waiter for his drink and signing an autograph for him, Justin
turned and motioned to Gavin and they walked round the pool together to a
more private spot, Gavin lay on a sun bed which had been left out and lit
another cigarette, while Justin sat on the pool edge drinking his drink and
moving his legs about in the water. They didn't say anything there didn't
really seem to be any point it was too much of a perfect night, as the
skies darkened.
      Eventually Justin finished his drink and stood up, on the edge of the
pool.

"I'm gonna take a dip, you coming in?" he asked Gavin.

Gavin's mind panicked for a second but he had planned an answer and said,
"Nah I'm okay here you go in, I'm getting comfortable" he said smiling at
Justin to reassure him then snuggled down a little more on the chair.

Justin smiled shrugged and pulled his t-shirt off, revealing his toned and
lean torso, which glowed in the dark. Gavin stared at the beauty of Justin
then hastily looked away focusing on a hedge intently. Justin slid into the
pool, and submerged himself in the water and lazily swam about underneath
the surface like a stoned fish, then came up for breath and lay on his back
floating around and looking at the stars.
     Gavin just watched Justin, and how the water ran in little drips of
his stomach and chest. Over the lightly defined muscles, and the glow of
the subdued pool lights on Justin's slightly tanned skin. He could have
looked for a thousand years and not be bored. Justin looked over and
noticed Gavin staring at him, he smiled and said, "You coming in at all?"

Gavin shifted on his seat uncomfortably, but didn't say anything, "What's
wrong why don't you wanna come in?" Justin asked lightly not wanting to
diminish the atmosphere.  Gavin looked at Justin's eyes full of care, and
then looked away, "I just don't like, it sounds stupid don't worry about
it, really I'm fine."

But Justin wasn't taking that for an answer, and with a few arm strokes
reached the side of the pool, and crossed his arms on the side and placed
his head on his arms, and with puppy dogs eyes looking up at Gavin, on his
chair he asked, "No honestly, what is it, I don't care if it sounds stupid,
just tell me, I'm not going to laugh, Gavin tell me?" he finished, care
lining his voice.

Gavin eyed Justin's yearning face warily and said, "It's just. I don't like
taking my top of in front of people to be completely honest. See it is
stupid" He finished lamely.

Justin's forehead knotted, "But it's not like your ugly or anything and I
know you have a toned torso, so what's to be ashamed off? I don't
understand," he asked truthfully.

Gavin sighed, "I'm not ashamed of those things its other things, I
have. scars on my back and stuff and I don't like people seeing them." He
answered in a wavering voice.

"What, how did you get scars on your back" it seemed that talk of Gavin's
past was going to happen now whatever the situation.

"My second foster home" Gavin whispered quietly, paranoid that someone
would here him.

Justin's eyebrows rose, remembering that Gavin had alluded to physical
abuse in that TRL interview months ago. "Well don't take your t-shirt off
then that would be okay yeah?" Justin asked.

Gavin smiled a small smile at Justin for not judging him, and nodded, he
finished his drink and stood up, walking over to the pool side he sat down
on the edge, and dangled his feet in, Justin turned his head on his arms
and looked at Gavin, Gavin smiled down at him like a little lost kid, and
Justin felt sympathy well up in his head for Gavin. He pushed back off the
pool edge with his hands, and steadied himself in the water, his eyes the
only thing above the surface. Gavin stared at him for a while, until Justin
started waggling his eyebrows at Gavin who had to laugh, and suddenly the
whole moment was forgotten and became lighter again, like it was
before. Justin slowly swam forwards towards Gavin so Gavin wouldn't notice
and then suddenly, grabbed Gavin's legs and pulled him in, Gavin yelped
before going under.
     He came up spluttering and laughing.

"You turd I'll get you for that" and they started quietly splashing about
trying to drown each other, eventually they got tired, and slipped out of
the pool, Gavin twisted his t-shirt up and got rid of most of the water,
Justin handed him a towel, and then using one on himself dried himself of
as best he could.
     Then they went back to the bar and sat there for two more hours
chatting about everything and having a few more drinks.

Looking at the clock on the side of the bar wall, Justin said, "Whoa I
didn't realise it was so late we should get going to bed" Gavin glanced at
the clock then nodded. They picked their towels up and headed inside
upstairs. The waiter watched them go, he had seen the whole spectacle of
them in the pool, he hadnt heard anything but he had seen that they were
obviously very close, he smiled to himself 'maybe they were a couple'.
               * * *

Gavin and Justin caught the elevator up to Gavin's floor and stepped out,
Gavin opened his door waved at security and went in. Justin closed the door
behind him.

"So do you wanna stay here tonight we can watch a movie or something?"
Gavin asked over his shoulder heading for the bathroom.

"Yeah okay, I'll go see what's on" Justin said and headed into the bedroom,
to check out the movies on the TV.

In the bathroom Gavin pulled of his damp clothes, and had a quick shower to
get the chlorine smell gone. Then he opened the door leading into the
bathroom and stuck only his head out, Justin laughed at how Gavin's head
looked almost disembodied.

Gavin smiled dumbly and said, "Could you chuck me my pyjama's"

Justin laughed and rummaged in Gavin's draws until he found them and handed
them through the bathroom door, he only caught a glimpse of Gavin's naked
torso, but he did see the long welt running up his left side. Gavin had
meant it; he thought to himself shuddering, he all of a sudden felt angry
towards whoever had done that.
    He went over and sat on the bed again flicking channels until Gavin
came out drying his hair dressed in his pyjama's.
      Justin jumped up and went into the bathroom, and closing the door
behind him, stripped off and had a quick shower then got out, and started
towelling himself off, there was a nock at the door, and it opened and
Gavin's hand appeared holding a t- shirt and thin light blue
bottoms. Justin laughed and grabbed them, got dressed and then came out and
sat on the bed.

Gavin was munching on an apple, his hair all fuzzy and sticking up all over
the place like a corona, while pulling on a cigarette between
mouthfuls. Justin burst into laughter, falling over on the bed clutching
his stomach. Gavin watched him with amusement in his eyes.

"What?" he asked eventually.

Justin sat up wiping tears from his eyes, and said "You just look really
funny, especially while eating an apple and smoking at the same time, sooo
healthy" Justin said waggling his eyebrows up and down.

Gavin laughed, "Yeah well, what can I say?"

"Nothing" crowed Justin breaking into laughter again, Gavin just shook his
head and started checking out some movies to watch.  They sat up all night
again, watching movies and talking, until they fell asleep on the bed where
they were sitting.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay there is part 11 and 12, hope you like em it was a bit teasing I know
that hot humid pool session I didn't mean it to be but I could picture the
sunset and everything in my head and thought it seemed nice to put it down
here, so there you go. Cheers silverjunky.