Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 15:56:07 +0100
From: Silverjunky <silverjunky@hotmail.com>
Subject: Justin and Redemption part 5-6

Right here is the fifth and sixth part to Justin and Redemption, Justin
will be appearing in this one now, and don't worry for anyone who actually
reads this there is a long way to go and many parts to be put onto nifty,
hope you like this instalment.

Legal Stuff: this story is complete fiction and does not imply anything
about the personal lives of any member of NSYNC or anyone else mentioned,
if you r under 18 then don't read this as it involves male/male relations,
etc.

I still have a load written down on paper so that's all still coming up,
but I want to keep things fresh and not bog them down so If you have any
comments ideas or anything just let me know at silverjunky@hotmail . com


Justin And Redemption.
Part 5: meeting stars, confused emotions.


Last time: Gavin the main character revealed some of his past, and also he
was shot into fame and fortune.



Two more months passed and the album sales were still sky rocketing past
6million, I by now had a very large bank account. I was finding it hard to
deal with this though.
    I returned to Orlando with Kacy, Lucy, and OZ for a week vacation
before we were off again.
       Maverick threw a platinum record sale party for me, it was fun, I
strode around smoking and I met a few famous people (I didn't even think I
was famous though I still don't).  I even met Madonna she has come to see
me especially. I was flattered. I then proceeded to enthuse at her about
her "ray of light" album, which I loved.

She took it in stride and gave me some good advice as well, "The one thing
I'm going to say to you is that even when you have no time to sit down, and
when you're being harassed by fans and your being treated celebrity style
by everyone, always have one person to fall back to", and so saying this
winked and then kissed her husbands cheek.
       I didn't have anyone though, Lucy and OZ were great and Kacy was
amazing but there wasn't anyone special, I sighed and headed for a private
cigarette behind the scenes.
         Shortly after this we were off again, this time all over Europe,
we did a few gigs in Germany and France then onto England.
   During dinner on a night off in July in England, I aired a hope to Kacy,
and the guys about doing a tour.

"I have realised that all we have been doing for the past 6 or so months is
TV performances, but playing in Europe and here in England on the separate
gigs I had so much fun on stage with you guys, what I'm trying to say is I
would like to take this to the fans, on tour" I looked at their faces.

Lucy and OZ looked as excited about it as I did, Kacy was deep in thought
but then looked up and glancing around said, "Well what I was planning for
the next few months was more TV and radio performances and interviews, then
a break, and then we could start the tour going. But I think now you have
definitely become too large to just stick to that for anymore time" Pause
"okay, lets do it, lets start touring" he finished beaming at us three.

"Oh wow thank you Kacy" I didn't know what else to say. Lucy did though,
"right watch out Gavin is about to start bawling," she said smirking at
me. I laughed loudly and promptly threw a bread roll at her.

	   *                         *                         *

So after finishing our commitments in and around Europe, we flew back to
Orlando to start the tour ball rolling, every time I thought to myself well
back to Orlando and home it would send a tingle up my spine, there was
something like promise about my new life which I relished like a baby likes
yoghurt.
    The entire crew was asked whether they would come on tour, everyone
agreed, and then signed new contracts for it.
    To announce the tour to the general public Kacy decided to accept an
interview from MTV to use as a platform for the launch.
    The day came and I was sitting backstage with Lucy and Oz, in our
dressing room.  I was smoking like a chimney and Oz was tapping his
drumsticks on everything and Lucy was fraying her skirt to shreds with her
fingers, we were all kinda nervous, even though interviews on TV were now
normal in our worlds I always felt nervous at them, and because we were
airing the tour made mine and everybody else' nervousness double.

"I don't understand how you can smoke so much and sing like an angel,
you're too perfect, you bastard" Lucy interrupted my worried train of
thought scowling at me in mock hurt. I just smiled at her.

"Yeah, and you're good looking no wonder you get mobbed everywhere you go,
ooohh I hate you" OZ said scowling harder than Lucy, I just started
laughing.

"I'm sorry I'm just obviously a better type of person," I said haughtily,
and we all burst out laughing, which I think helped to clear the air or
nerves. Just then a knock cam at the door and a stage hands head popped in,
"hey guys, were ready for you in five ok?" we all nodded and got ready to
go as the stage hand shut the door.

"Hey" I said to Oz "at least you have someone in your life" hint of
jealousy in my voice, he just shrugged and smiled, Lucy however said "true
he does but I don't" and then realising my hidden thoughts said, "Gavin you
will find someone eventually he could be just around the corner who knows,
don't worry yourself about it, ok?" she said looking up at me holding my
arm. I nodded smiled and gave her a hug.

"Right, ok we ready?" I asked.

"Yeah" they chorused.

"Ok, let's go" I said and opened the door.

Walking in a straight line down the hallway we found our way to a wing just
of the set of the show, "Okay thanks guys, I want everyone to give a big
welcome to our next guests, who are Gavin and his band mates Lucy and Oz"
     We walked onto the set as the cameras trained onto us. Sitting on the
sofa next to some other guest and opposite the presenter.

"Hey guys welcome to MTV, nice to have you back, how are you?" she asked I
think her name was Robin, or something.

We all mumbled a "Fine, fine".

"I want to be the first to say Gavin that I like the new look" I looked at
her nonplussed, "What?" I said.

She laughed, "You know the cigarette thing", by now people in the audience
had started laughing and I could hear laughter from both sides of me, "What
are you talking about?" I asked blushing violently.

"The cigarette hanging out your ear, nice touch" Robin said smothering
laughter.

I felt my ear and found the cigarette I had shoved in there when I was
messing about with Oz a few minutes ago backstage. "Oh oops hehe" I said
blushing.

"That's really adorable" Robin continued, I just looked questioningly at
her trying to recover from blushing. "When you blush," she said in
explanation. I immediately started blushing again.

"Aww come on give him a break" a youthful male voice said, I glance to the
left, but then Robin grabbed my attention again by saying "Sorry, but he
does look adorable, guys I would like to introduce you to NSYNC, meet JC,
Justin, Lance.." but I was already ignoring her as I whiplashed my head
around and looked at Justin, he was sitting there smiling THAT smile at me,
I blushed again and his smile grew wider.
     He was really cute, was all my brain could say to itself.

"I like your stuff" he said. I just sort of looked at him not really taking
in what he was saying. So Robin took the chance to interrupt us by saying,
"Well so do 6million other people out there".

I continued to ignore her, as I was too busy soaking up Justin's too cute
to be real face.  "I bought your album," he said. I just gaped at
him. "Really?" I managed to get out eventually, in a strangled voice.

"Yeah it's wicked" he said laughing and grinning at me.

I blushed again, which sent everyone of into laughter again, snapping my
head round I tried to defend myself to the audience, "so I blush, so what"
it came out a bit wrong, and everyone laughed all over again.  So I ignored
them and turning back to Justin I said "I have one of your albums as well",
this time he blushed making me laugh as I crowed in childish glee at making
him blush.

This caused the presenter to say, "Aww you're so sweet"

I scowled at her "I'm not sweet".

"Yeah you are" Lucy said and underhandedly started ruffling my
hair. Everyone was cracking up by now, and I realised I wasn't going to
win, I stood up and then went and sat next to the presenter, "Now I can
scowl at you all properly" I said triumphantly.

Robin laughed, and mouthed, "he is" to Lucy who just sat there
grinning. Eventually everyone calmed down so Robin could ask me a few
question, "Okay so you're going on tour soon how does it feel?"

"Umm it feels great, we've done a lot of interviews and stuff since we
started but to be able to get out there on stage is a huge blast and much
more direct to the fans, I love it." Just then there was a muffled burst of
laughter. I turned to see Justin going bright red as he suppressed
laughter.

"What?" Robin asked curiously.

Laughing Justin bent over and pulled a cigarette from the turn up of my
right trouser leg. I blushed again mumbling "it's a spare" everyone cracked
up again.

"Ok that does it" I said and stood up and shook my legs as 4 more
cigarette's fell from creases and folds in my clothes.

Everyone was laughing, I glanced at Justin and he smiled at me as he patted
Lance's back cause he was laughing so much.

"Okay okay, right" Robin said loudly trying to gain some control, "I think
we can move onto the song you're going to do for us Gavin, called umm" she
glanced at the card in hand "called 'hometime' yes?" I nodded at her and
she turned to the camera and said, "we'll be back with that and more after
the break, don't go away". The camera lights blinked off, so leaving
everyone still giggling I made my way to a stool provided, a tech from my
crew handed me my guitar, and then Robin was introducing me to the
camera's.

A stagehand signalled at me and I started the song. Halfway through I
glanced over and noticed Justin miming along with, me I was shocked but
also flattered.  I decided to have some fun and on the spot improvised a
new ending for the song which was much more energetic and haunting at the
same time, I finished to thunderous applause from the audience.

Another commercial break, so I could waddle back over and sit down, "what?"
I asked to Lucy and Oz, who were staring at me.

"That was really cool, you have a great voice" Justin's voice answered me
over my shoulder I glanced at him and smiled blushing again, his eyes
sparkled at me. Then in a rush everyone started congratulating me on the
song, I was just shaking hands with a grinning Chris, when the show
resumed.

The rest of that show was a blur mostly except for NSYNC's performance, the
new song was cool, and I got a chance to check out Justin's butt, I wasn't
being obvious in it I just looked at them and mainly more at Justin. I had
seen pictures of him back in England when he still had his blond curly
hair, and I had fancied him ever since, he now had the shaved head thing
going on and to me he looked just as sexy with a mix of his boyish charm
but also something a little bit more mature and well "edgy" I suppose. I
decided to myself not to get my hopes up though, he wasn't gay that was for
sure, he acted to much like a 'lad' to be gay, a friendly 'lad' but still.

Lucy noticed where I was looking, "he is damn fine that's for sure," she
said. I just blushed and carried on watching him.

Plus I was absolutely terrible at reading 'signs' as they are called so
even if Oz or someone liked me I wouldn't notice I spent to long trying to
survive from day to day in my life to be bothered to learn the body
language of someone who might or might not fancy you.

The show ended after NSYNC's performance Robin thanked us and everyone
else, and then we all headed backstage to our dressing rooms. "Hey guys
wait up" a voice called from down the hallway behind us. We stopped and
looked back to see the whole of NSYNC following us.

"Hey, whass up?" Chris said as they got to us. I was glancing back at
Justin who was looking at what I think was JC's neck. So Lucy said "not
much were out of here in 15, back to Gavin's place, in Orlando by bus and
then sorting out tour details for the rest of the day" she was eyeing Joey
speculatively and he was eyeballing her back.  We all carried on walking to
our dressing room and then invited the guys in, Oz was in deep discussion
with Lance and Chris about something and Lucy was babbling about something
to Joey and JC. I grabbed my backpack off the floor, turned to find my
wallet and then started rummaging for my fags.

"Here I can see you need one" Justin's voice came from behind me, I twirled
round in surprise to see him holding a fag out for me, "I grabbed it from
the set" he explained.  I smiled nodded and lit it. Then sat on the desk by
the wall. He smiled and sat next to me.

"So you're from Orlando then?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, I grew up here" my thoughts changed abruptly and the grey
memories flooded back I pushed at them and they went away.

"Gavin? Gavin?" Justin said snapping his fingers in front of my face,
"What?" I said a bit more forceful than I had intended.

"You just tuned out for like 30 seconds," he explained with an unreadable
expression, which my paranoia convinced me was disgust, I fidgeted
uncomfortably.

"Don't worry he does that occasionally" Lucy said as Justin looked around
for an explanation himself. She was looking worriedly at my fidgeting. I
bounced up and grabbed my bag "right we should go guys, nice talking to
you" I said and strode out of the room trying to get away from the disgust
or what I was sure was disgust in Justin's eyes. Lucy and Oz came out a
moment later and followed me as I strode towards the exit. As I opened the
door Justin's voice came down the hallway "Hey Gavin where in Orlando are
you?" I carried on walking but Lucy shouted back my address and the last I
heard as my security team descended on us was "What that's where."

     *                              *                               *

Part 6: surprises and beginnings.


We got back to my place eventually, after being dropped off by the coach we
used for transport, and found Kacy already there, my bad mood wasn't going
to go until I had slept, so I struggled through the meeting about the tour
and then chucked everyone out as soon as possible with vague excuses about
a headache. They all moaned but knew me well enough to give me some time
alone. I needed it, especially with the tour only days away. I had the next
two days free, before the tour officially began, so I spent a lot of my
time just wondering around the area through streets and local parks,
luckily I could do this without any bother as there weren't and weirdo's
around to hassle me.
       I slept a lot as well, and on my walks I thought a lot about how
things were going, I was extremely shocked at how well the album was doing,
it was past the 7million mark now and still rising, and my net worth I
think at that time was about 4million.  Now including and sponsorship deals
for the tour and the money, which would be spent and then gained in profit
from the tour itself.
       The fan thing I thought about as well, it was really bizarre to me,
I had been shot so quickly into the whole fame game I just didn't really
deal with them very well. It didn't occur to me that I was at that time as
famous as Madonna or Britney Spears as far as I was concerned I was still
new and inexperienced, but people expected me to know how to handle these
things and I didn't.
      All the money was hard to accept as well as I had been in poverty for
years, and now I could stop and never do anything ever again and been fine
and have money to spend forever. I struggled with that one for a while but
realised that money didn't change who I was it just changed the situation
around you. That was much easier to digest. But my lack of experience was
causing to me to worry a lot I just did not have the skills needed to
handle fans or talk to the bosses of huge corporate companies.
       That was partly why I was so crushed by what I had perceived
Justin's expression to mean, because I had a hope that he might become a
friend and being someone who had experienced it all be able to show me or
at least tell me I was ok.

      I sighed to myself, lit another cigarette, and in my bare feet headed
for home, lost in my own little world. As I got to the top of my street,
and headed to my house a car horn woke me out of my world loudly, and with
a loud obscenity from me in return.
      I got to my house, let myself in then, closing the door grabbed a
wine glass a bottle of quite alcoholic white and turned some loud angry
music on and started bouncing around my house smoking and drinking in a way
celebrating my tour and the last night of freedom before it started, and
also to expel the numbing worry which had been building in my stomach for
the past few months.
      The doorbell interrupted me, I went and answered it, "Hey.uhh you
havin a party or summin?" Justin Timberlake asked from my doorstep.

My eyes grew wide in surprise "What the hell are you doing here?" I
unceremoniously blurted out in my surprise.

He flinched "Am I really that bad? You ran away from me last time at MTV,"
he asked with a pained expression.

"No I didn't, I did not ummm oh come in sorry," I said in a rush, bumbling
over my rudeness and his accusation.

I went and turned the music down; I turned back to him where he stood
looking about uncertainly.

"Okay it's a mess, I know, want a drink?" I asked waving my glass.

He laughed and nodded once still staring at the place, I shuffled into the
kitchen to get a second glass, calling back "make yourself comfortable".

I came back in with a glass to find Justin had taken his shoes off and his
hoody so he was wearing a white tight t-shirt and baggy brown trousers. He
was checking out my CD's. A whole loads of wants and fears and needs came
alive in my head looking at him but I dismissed them abruptly, and poured
Justin some wine.

"Wow I love this CD," he said spinning around from my CD collection. He
smiled took his glass and whirled back again.

"Put it on if you want" I said sitting on the floor with my fags lighter,
wine and wine glass close at hand. Justin put the CD on, and then sat
himself on the floor opposite me leaning against the couch. "So what's all
this for?" he asked motioning at the wine.

"Oh my last night of freedom before the tour" I explained, glancing
anywhere at him, I felt like I was under inspection not in a bad way just
in a very interested way.

"Aah I get ya, so how do you have alcohol you're underage aren't you being
19 like me? He asked curiously.

He really did look good with his shaved head and his poutfull lips,
"Uh...my manager Kacy bought it for me, I had sort of grown used to
drinking in England and he didn't see why I shouldn't here seeing as I'm
used to it. And yes I'm only 19, like you" I finished smiling a little at
him. He grinned at me, and a flush of warmth ran down my spine.

"Okay my turn, so what gives why are you here? At my house?" I asked
rapidly.

He blushed a little and said "I honked at you in the car."

"Oh it was you, I hope you didn't here me swearing" I smiled at him.

He actually smiled back making me smile even harder like a pleased little
boy or something, he shook his head "No but I was trying to get your
attention, I live just at the end of the street from here" he said flashing
'the smile'.

"You do??!" I said in disbelief choking on a mouthful of wine, "I wondered
who owned that whackin great house"

He laughed again finishing his wine "Well that's me, anyway I thought I
would come over and say hi. You should come over to mine sometime I'll show
you around" he said with a strange wistful smile on his perfect lips. The
lips I wanted to touch I shut that thought off straight away.

"Would if I could but I'm up at 8 tomorrow and off for the tour and the
first leg alone is taking 5 months, sorry" I said a little sheepishly. I
really did want to be his friend.

"Aww yeah, hey never mind, I'm gonna be on tour with the other guys anyway
promoting our new album so I'm gonna be pretty busy myself." He said with a
crooked grin, glancing at his watch he pulled his shoes on stood up grabbed
his hoody and said "listen I have to go and you're up early tomorrow so I
will let you get some sleep. I'll hopefully see you around yeah?" he looked
like a kid wishing for a present.

I nodded "Okay not a problem. Here hold on a sec" I ran into my bedroom and
came back out and handed him a piece of paper "My mobile number call me
sometime if you wanna do something yeah?" I asked, this time my turn to
look boyish. He smiled at me and turned for the door. Opening the door he
turned and said, "yeah I will definitely" and had a huge grin plastered
over his face, I grinned back at him. Until he turned and walked out and
down the street I watched him go, hoping that at least we might be
friends. He stayed on my mind all night.

      *                                 *                           *

Well that's part 5+6 for you hope you like, it next chapter should be about
the tour and Gavin's friendship with Justin and how it develops. I might
start writing some of this from other peoples perspectives like Justin's
how he sees Gavin and so on what do you think any suggestions and stuff
send to my email silverjunky@hotmail . com