Date: Sun, 20 Jun 1999 17:03:51 EDT
From: Mlnscrm@aol.com
Subject: Justin's Love 5

* Number 5! I am happy. I honestly never expected it to go this far. Thanks
to all of you that e- mail me still. I really am so excited I still get
mail, and people enjoy this story. You have no idea how good a feeling it
is. Also, thanks to Phoenix for his comments and great ideas for this next
segment. I'm grateful man. Thanks for the motivation. And thanks to Pat,
you have been a great friend and I will always be here for ya. You have
been a good inspiration, and you know I love you. I'm always here for
ya. Also, as you might know, JJ Vascardi recently just left to Europe to
visit family. I think we all need to hope they have a safe and fun journey.
Well, as for the usual, this is all fake. I am not trying to imply the
homosexuality of any celebrity mentioned. To my knowledge, they are all
straight. Also, thanks to Nifty for putting these stories up. I really
appreciate having a place to share my writing abilities. (If you can even
call them that. lol) Now, on with the show.

Justin's Love
Part 5

	Roaming. There I was in the middle of a street roaming. I felt so
alone. There must have been a thousand people in my sight range and I felt
alone. How ironic. Then I was overwhelmed with happiness. "JUSTIN! JUSTIN!"
I yelled as I saw him sitting at a table at a cafe with the rest of
NSYNC. He didn't answer. I guess he couldn't hear me. The street was crowed
and loud. I knew he must have not heard me. I started to walk closer to the
cafe still yelling his name. After about five minutes of weaving in and out
of people, I thought I would surly be close enough for Justin to hear my
cries, but still no response. He sat next to JC on one side of the table
while the other guys sat across from them. Justin had his arm on the table
and JC's hand was placed gently over Justin's arm, right above his
wrist. JC and Justin were laughing as Lance, Chris, and Joey carried on
their own conversation. A sudden rush of anger came coursing through my
body.  Seeing Justin and JC this close made my blood boil. That's when I
picked up my pace and was running to them before I knew it. It was weird,
because the faster I ran the father off the seemed.  I was too busy
watching JC to notice this though. I didn't want him to steal Justin away
now that I had found him. After agonizing over JC and Justin for what
seemed like eternity, I finally came near the table. I stood there, right
in front of Justin and JC with my hands on the table. No one had even
looked up. I was confused, but it was clouded by my anger. "Excuse me." I
said rather politely. Still no indication of my presence. I was growing
annoyed. It had already taken my some much to reach them, and now they were
all ignoring me. Had I done something wrong? Nothing came to mind. I
couldn't remember the past couple of days. So, quite literally... nothing
came to mind. As I saw JC's hand brush Justin's my anger overtook me. I
could stop myself from doing or saying whatever came to mind.
	 "What the hell is going on!" I asked very loudly. I finally got a
reaction. They all turned to me and stared at me puzzled. "What are you
doing here?" Justin asked rather coldly. "I came to see... I came to see
you." I said not knowing if everything I thought had happened, indeed
happened. I thought I remembered me and Justin falling in love, and having
this one perfect moment where we both dropped all are inhibitions and had
this one kiss. That kiss that lights up your life, that everyone wants for
and wants. Was I wrong? "Well, you see me. Now, you don't."  He said
getting up. He started to leave, but turned back around. As I saw this, I
started to walk towards him. He was coming back to me. I knew it. His hand
reached out and so did mine. As soon as I almost grabbed it, Justin's hand
moved and found JC's. JC got up and followed right behind Justin. They
walked down the row of tables and turned the corner. I started to follow
them, but found a hand holding me back. "What the..." I said turning around
to see what was holding me back. It was Lance. "Chris, stop." I started to
cry. I thought he was supposed to be helping me.  "But why? What happened?
Me and Justin were... we were..." I asked not knowing what had just
happened. I was confused. I thought he was in love, I thought I was in
love. "You were nothing. Justin made his choice. I am sorry. You just need
to accept it." I burst into tears and fell on my knees. I had never been so
hurt in my life. "It was really in poor taste for you to show up here. I
mean, Justin told you he didn't care for you anymore. Get a clue. Go
home. When you came after him the first time, it was cute, and
romantic. Now, it's just pathetic." Lance walked back over to his table,
got Chris and Joey and walked in the direction that Justin and JC had gone.
As they passed me, they stopped briefly and I heard them snicker. I broke
down. That was putting it nicely. Really, I wigged out. I couldn't stop. As
they turned the corner I fell on my back and just couldn't stop
shaking. This was all too much for me to take in. I thought I had done so
good, I thought I had fixed everything. Me and Justin were together. At
least we had been the last time I checked. And maybe we still were. That
thought came as I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder. I knew it was
Justin. He came back for me. This time it had to be true, JC was not with
me. He wasn't coming back for him. I gradually was able to calm myself down
enough to sit up and look him in the eye. "I knew you wouldn't leave me. I
love you so much." I said hugging him. His arms came around me and
everything felt right. "I just came back to tell you..." I waited. I waited
for those words I needed to hear right now. "To tell you, stay away. I
don't want you coming back anymore." He got up and started walking again. I
love you was all I was looking for. Nothing like this. I had fucked up
major. Everything I had wanted for so long, everything I thought I had, was
all falling down. I started to fall back to where I had been only moments
ago and then it hit me.  When I say it hit me, I am not referring to and
idea or thought as most use it. Something had actually hit me. And whatever
it was, it continued. I shook my head and the cafe disappeared. It almost
seemed as if it were raining, and as each drop fell, it took a part of the
setting away. The cafe, the people, the sounds, it was all becoming
obscure. And I don't know which was worst, the fact that this seemingly
real world was fading away, or it was being replaced by darkness.
	My eyes flew open, and I saw my room. It was darker than you'd
think, but I could tell it was home. Then it hit me again. I started to get
angry before I heard someone speaking. No, someone is not the right
word. It was like an angel speaking. That voice was so familiar and I had
grown to know it by heart. "Chris, are you OK? You were tossing and crying
in your sleep. What happened?" I sat up next to Justin who had placed his
arms around me. " I... I am sorry. I don't..." Justin was quick to comfort
me. "Don't apologize. I was just worried. You woke me up and I heard you in
tears. Then you screamed my name. What was it?" I had begun to calm myself
and was trying to think of what to say. "You were there. You were there in
the cafe and you... you were with him. And you left me. You walked away,
but then you came back, and then you left again. You were gone. And they
all laughed, and everyone... everyone left. I was there..." I trailed off
and the tears came back. Justin was confused to say the least, but held me
none the less. He held my head to his chest and let me cry. It was about 15
minutes before I calmed down enough for him to speak. "Listen, I don't
understand what you saw in that dream, and I won't ask. But I do know that
I left you in that dream. And I do know I was with someone else in this
dream." I hoped he was getting to a good point because all he was saying
was not making me feel any better. "And last, but not least, I do know it
was just a dream. Because I have just found you, and I won't let you go. I
won't walk away, and there is not anything or anyone that could replace
you. And that's what I do know." My hopes were right. He had gotten to a
good point. He swayed back and forth until we collapsed back on the bed. I
looked at the clock and it read 1:47AM. I knew he needed sleep, as did
I. "Justin, thank you." Even though it was dark, I could tell by his
movements that his head had dropped down to look at me on his chest. "Thank
you for what?" He sounded as if he were about to drift off to sleep. "Just
thank you." I smiled and I could tell he did too. There was just something
between us that told me what he did, what he thought. It was great. And no
more. No more would I let a dream ever make me feel different.  After that
we both had no trouble sleeping.
	It was too early. Even after I had gone to bed so early, and I
hadn't been up more than half an hour when I had the dream, it was still
too early. I looked over and saw Justin sleeping. He was so cute, and
innocent. I knew why I had fallen in love with him. It wasn't hard to
guess. I brought my hand up and ran it along his face going down to his
chest. I loved to feel his skin. It was soft and angelic. This was still
weird though. This was my first time ever waking up to anyone. Guy or girl,
this was new to me. I was comfortable being there with hi of course, it was
just difficult to understand what had happened between us. I don't know
where we had really crossed that line from friendship to love and right
now, I didn't care. It had happened and that was all I needed. I was
tempted to get up and go. I wasn't sure how it would feel having him wake
up next to me, but I stayed. I told him that I would never leave him again
and I meant it.  As I shuffled back into bed and placed my arms around
Justin, he started to stir. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I said
as I took my hands from around him. He quickly awoke and turned to face
me. Before he ever said anything, he grabbed my hands and placed them back
around him. I couldn't help but smile. "Now that is better. It's OK. I
would rather be with you in real life, than in just my dreams." I smiled
again. He sure knew the right things to say. We pulled the covers father up
over us and just lay there. We weren't going back to sleep, but we weren't
ready to get up either. "So, I take it you slept well if I was in your
dreams?" I asked as he smiled. "Of course, did you do OK since the dream?"
I shuddered at the thought. That dream still had an affect on me. I knew it
would be nothing more than a dream, but still, it was scary. "Yep, haven't
thought about it since." I really didn't want Justin knowing that I was
scared. He would bother me forever about it. That's one of the things I
loved about him I guess.  So, we talked. We had sat there, well laid there,
in that bed and talked for almost three ours before I finally had to
stretch. "Well, I am going to take a shower. I be back in a couple of
minutes." I said while grabbing some clothes and towels. I turned to Justin
pouting. "Don't give me the face. Anything but the sad, puppy dog look. I
can't handle it." I dropped all my things and walked over to the
bed. "Listen, I will be right down the hall. You can use the guest bath all
the way down or you can go fix some breakfast. I have plenty of cereal you
know." I said as we both smiled. I think he was a little disappointed that
I suggested him use a different bathroom. I was too. But I want this to
work. I want us to be us forever. And that wouldn't happen with us humping
like rabbits after a couple of hours after we got together. He meant more
to me than that. "I guess I'll go use your guest bath. that way, we can eat
together." We kissed quickly and got up. It was cute I thought as we headed
out the room holding hands. We were defiantly in that, young love, stage. I
had heard about it, but now, I felt it.
	We had both showered and were in the kitchen within thirty
minutes. Well, I was anyway. Justin had gotten done with me, but had to do
his hair. I tried to tell him he was cute anyway, but he insisted. Who was
I to argue? By the time he had gotten done with his hair, I had setup the
table and laid out Apple Jacks and Captain Crunch. I knew it was his
favorite.  We had had a two hour conversation about cereal once. It might
seem sad, but we had fun.  "Awww, all this for me? You are just too good."
He said as he walked towards me. "Well, I try." I said smiling. As I turned
to go sit I found Justin inches from me. "But... what if what I want for
breakfast isn't on the table?" He asked exotically. I just smiled at his
attempt to be sexy. I shouldn't call it an attempt, really, because it was
working. "Well, I might just have to make something else available won't
I?" I said as he leaned closer. "Yes, Yes you will." He almost whispered
this before I found our lips dancing once again. We had already used up our
two most important kisses, but his lips still felt new to me. It was
great. I slowly started to slip my tongue in his mouth, only to find his
tongue heading straight for me. I was not going to object as my mouth
became open for anything coming. We must have stood there, kissing,
exploring each others mouths, for almost ten minutes before we both stopped
and took in a big breath of air. "Well, I'm full. That was the best
breakfast I have had in a long time." Justin said sitting. "In a long time?
When did you ever have better?" I asked only half joking. "Well, you have
to remember the first time I had cereal. That was monumental." We both
started laughing. "You know..." I stopped as he started shaking his head
no. I smiled and continued. "Your right, probably not." I said not
finishing what I was saying. We both smiled and he jumped up and ran to
me. "You were very good..." He said licking his lips. "But I am kinda
hungry. Come join me.  We can share a bowl of Apple Jacks." He took my hand
and lead me to the table. "Justin Timberlake, share a bowl of cereal. I am
shocked." He looked at me and finally caught in.  "Don't feel shocked, feel
special. I only share with people I love." We both sat down and ate.  We
continued to talk and occasionally kiss, but we had fun. When we finished
we went into the den and flipped on the TV.
	"So, what are we doing today?" I asked Justin as he flipped off the
TV. "Well, there is nothing on TV. Count that as a no. Actually, I was
thinking, seeing how this is our first whole day together as a couple,
maybe we could just hang around here. I mean, We still have 13 days
together to do stuff. Today can just be our day." He said getting up and
walking over to the couch I was sitting on. He laid down, with his head in
my lap, and his feet dangling off the side.  "For once Justin, you have a
good idea. You are just full of surprises today huh?" I asked as we both
smiled. And so started another of our famed talks. I am not sure when, but
sometime during the talk, I had begun to play with Justin's hair. This was
nothing new, I had done it every time we had met. Even before we got
together, I had played with his hair. He had always enjoyed, but now we
were together he really showed it. It was about 8:30PM before I noticed the
large bulge in his pants. "Well, I do believe your hair is a very sensitive
spot for my man." I said looking down to his shorts. He started to blush as
he realized what had happened. "Sorry, I didn't..." I quickly stopped
him. "You really think I care." I said beaming. "You know, the sex thing
does need to wait, we agree right?" Justin nodded as he agreed. He almost
looked sad. I knew what would make him smile though. "But nobody rushed
foreplay. that is always there." I knew I had this devious grin on my
face. He brightened up and before either of us knew it, we were kissing
more passionately then ever. This kiss had more heat in it then ever. And I
loved every minute of it. I could no longer control myself as I found
myself practically ripping Justin's shirt off. As I started pulling it off,
he pulled back. I looked up with confusion. "Too fast?" I asked as I
regretted what I had done. Soon I knew I didn't need to regret it
tough. "No. That is not it. I just think we should move this
little... adventure to your room. I would hate to think, even foreplay, be
done here in a den." I smiled as I totally agreed. We got up and managed to
get half-way up the stairs before we were clawing at each other once
again. What usually takes less than minute from the den to my room, took us
almost twenty minutes.
	Luckily, my bed is not far into my room, because as soon as we
entered the doorway we dropped. Our hands were roaming each other's faces,
as our tongues were roaming each other's mouths. This had to have been, the
most intense pleasure I had ever had. This was heaven. I had finally gotten
Justin's shirt off and my lips were aching for more. I had begun my way
down while his hands were still struggling with my shirt. I would have
helped him out but I was too wrapped up in what I was doing to notice
anything. My hands were roaming all of over Justin's chest while my lips
were stuck around his neck. It was a good thing they had a two week break,
because before I knew it, I had given Justin a little surprise on his
neck. Well, not really little. It was a big hickey. I would hate for him to
have to explain that. As Justin finally had my shirt ready to take off, my
hands left his chest and went out to get the shirt off. His chest was no
bare for long as me lips took over. I couldn't get enough of him. The taste
of him was bringing me to pure ecstasy. I slowly licked my way up and down
his chest stopping at his abs more than once. As soon as I came to his
nipples I went to work. I sucked each one slowly, hearing moans of pleasure
from Justin that made me work even harder to please him. I went back and
forth between them before I finally went to work on one at a time. I
swirled my tongue around each nipple and bite down lightly to add more
pleasure. His moans were not the only way I knew Justin was having fun, his
bulge had turned into a full blown tower and poked me every time he bucked
his hips slightly. After about half and hour I moved back to his lips. I
had to. Had I not, I would have kept going down a lot further. And I knew
we had to wait.
	As soon as I found myself on Justin's lips, it was his turn. After
one kiss, he was gone.  He was on my chest and licking me up and down
before I knew it. We had switched sides, where I now was on the
bottom. Justin was taking me to new heights as I felt his lips on my
nipples and his hands roaming everywhere but. I must say that this was
amazing. I could describe it. I am surprised I could comprehend any of
it. So much pleasure and passion was going through my head, that I was so
intensified I couldn't move. Then it happened. I felt Justin's arms start
rubbing my cock. I knew it wasn't on purpose. His hands were roaming all
over my chest. His elbows just slipped. The thing was, I didn't mind. He
could have done anything to me right then, and I would have done whatever
needed to make it easier. Luckily, I think he knew things were getting hot
because he was soon up on my lips once again. I could no longer restrain
myself. I found my hands struggling to unbutton Justin's cargo shorts and
get my hand on the object of my desire. As soon as I grabbed it though, he
backed off. We both smiled. "Well, aren't we enjoying ourselves." He said
laughing. "We were. Why aren't we now?" I said trying to get back to where
we had just left off. He just smiled. "Because you were right. We need to
wait. I am not going anywhere. And neither are you." I nodded in agreement
as he lay back on me. He looked over at the clock and rolled off beside
me. "It's going on 11:00. We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is a busy
day." I looked at him blankly. "I just mean, we are going to go out
tomorrow. And I know whatever I find... will be tiring." He said as he gave
me on last kiss. "Good night sweets." He looked at me oddly. "What?" I
couldn't understand what I had done. "Nothing bad. I just liked you calling
me that. No one has ever called me that. I like it." I smiled as I rolled
over. I was pretty tired. Only seconds after I had rolled over, I found
Justin's arms closing tight around me and pulling me close. "Good night
sweets." I said one last time before we drifted off to sleep.

Meanwhile... earlier that day at Lance's house.

	"Hey JC. I know you love to sleep, but I really think it is time to
get up." Lance said already showered and dressed. JC angrily stood up and
tried to open his eyes. JC had decided to crash with Lance till all the
guys met up next week. "What time is it?" JC said calming down.  He was not
a morning person. "It is almost 11:00. You went to bed at 9:00 last
night. You need more?" Lance asked putting away JC's stuff in their
drawers. JC stayed with Lance quite often so he had taken over one of the
two guest rooms Lance had. "No. I guess not. Hey, I'll put that away. It's
cool Scoop." JC said walking towards Lance. "I'll get it. Go get a shower
and we will go out for lunch or something. "OK. Thanks Scoop." He patted
Lance on the back and went to the bathroom. While JC took a shower, Lance
continued to put his things away. Then, as Lance put away JC's hair
products and such, he found a piece of paper. It was folded plenty of
times, but had Lance's name unmistakably on it. Lance knew he shouldn't,
but felt the urge to read it. It did have his name on it. It started:

Lance,

	If you are reading this, I guess I have left. Sorry, to ditch you
and the guys, but it got to hard. You see, I have been keeping something
from you. From all the guys, but mostly you. I am gay. Even on paper that
was hard to write. That was hidden from everyone. What was hidden from you,
is I love you. Not as a friend like Justin, or a bro like Joey, or even a
punching mate like Chris, I am in love with you. You mean more to me than
anything. It took me a long time to understand all this, but I know now,
more than ever, I love you. I know you don't feel the same. That, in part,
is why I left. I don't know if I will be coming back. As I think of you
reading this letter, I can honestly say, probably not. Like I said, it just
got to hard. Please don't waste your time looking for me. It won't help. If
by some remote chance you found me, it would be harder than ever. Please
tell the guys I am sorry. Sorry to leave you and them and the best thing
that has ever happened to me. But I had to decide... keep the best thing I
had, and feel the worst pain I would ever have, or just not deal with it
anymore. I know it was the easy way out, but I left. I just couldn't handle
everything. Too much reality for me. How ironic. I am the first one to
crack of the group. Who'd of thought huh? lol Well, I guess I have said
enough for you to hate me so that's it. I am sorry, and I love you. So
much. Take care.


Love Always and Forever, Josh

	Lance had already begun crying. He couldn't believe JC had thoughts
about leaving or that he cared so much for him. JC had told Lance he cared
for him, but never anything like this.  He was so shocked and surprised. He
cared for JC deeply. He loved JC very much, but not like that. Lance wasn't
gay. Well, he wasn't straight either. He had never had feelings for
anyone. Guy, girl, nothing. But after reading this letter he didn't know
how he felt about anything. His thoughts were interrupted by JC clearing
his throat. "I am sorry you read that. I just couldn't bring myself to
throw it away. Don't worry, I am not leaving. I was just scared."  JC could
only see one side of Lance, so he did not see the tears until Lance turned
to face him.  JC as about to ask about the tears before he saw Lance coming
straight for him. Lance stopped inches away and looked JC right in the
eyes. "Why? Why didn't you tell me all this? I know you were scared and it
was hard, but I would have always been there for you. And after you
confessed about yourself, why... why didn't you tell me how you felt about
me? Don't you think I deserved to know?" Lance asked still crying. He was
so confused. "I... I..." JC was so confused about what to say. He couldn't
handle this either. He grabbed a bag still not unpacked and grabbed his
keys. "Listen, I have to go. I'll be back later. I just... I need to
think." JC turned around and ran down the stairs. Lance tried to move to
stop him, but he couldn't. He yelled no, but it was too late. Lance put the
letter down and went to his room. He sat on the bed and started to cry once
again. He didn't know how he felt any longer.
	JC had managed to slip on some clothes and drive off quickly before
Lance had tried to stop him. He needed to think. He decided he couldn't
stay gone for long, and him and Lance needed to talk before they met the
guys. He would come back tomorrow and they would talk.  They each had to
sort all this out. Yeah, tomorrow. Things would be different tomorrow.

TBC

Well, I hope you all like this part and the rest. Send all comments to
mlnscrm@aol.com.  Thanks.