Date: Sun, 21 Nov 1999 19:09:09 EST
From: Kevsstory@aol.com
Subject: Kevin, behind the scenes.

I suppose the standard disclaimers apply here. If you're under 18 or
object to homosexual content in any fashion, please do not continue to
read. The following story is not meant to imply anything about the sexual
orientation of any of the Backstreet Boys or anyone else that may be
mentioned. Please send any comments, suggestions, quips, and criticisms
to kevsstory@aol.com. Thanks for reading and hope that you enjoy. Big
Kiss to KSR.


Chapter 7

After the food arrived, once again I was subjected to 20 questions by the
guys. There was little else I had left to tell them I thought. Silly me.
But, I lived through it again and I figured that it gave Kevin and I a
chance to get to know each other even better. And I started making the
guys tell me things about themselves and Kevin as well.

After a couple of hours, there was a lull in the conversation. So, I
decided to speak up.

'Not to be unpleasant and all, but what time do you guys leave tomorrow
?' I asked.

'We leave about 3pm from Detroit Metro.' Kevin responded, staring down at
the floor.

I could tell that he was sad.

'Listen mister. I know you don't want to leave, I don't want you to
either. But, I'll be along in a few days. I need to get everything
situated here and get my stuff into storage and all before I meet you
guys and start getting to work.' I said, as I sat down beside him on the
floor and put my arm around him.

'Oh, I know. It's just that I'll still miss you, you know.' he said,
looking up at me.

Enough sadness. I would cry tomorrow after he's gone, I decided in my
mind.

'Who's up for an arcade?' I said, looking around the room.

Nick's face lit up. 'Did someone say 'arcade'?'

'Prepare to get your skinny white butt kicked in Mortal Kombat' I said to
Nick.

'Please. You've never played against the Game Master.' he responded.

'Wanna make a wager ? Since I'm sure that you've got more money than I do
that's out of the question. How about we play for Kevin?' I joked.

'I give up. You win. I don't want the booby prize' he laughed.

'Um...Hey now. Since when am I the booby prize?' Kevin said, looking at
Nick with a smile on his face.

'Shhh. I still won. You're all mine.' I said, leaning over to kiss him.

'Ok. Let's go. My butt hurts.' I said getting up.

'Thought you two didn't have sex.' Brian said smiling, as he got up and
ran out the door.

'You'll pay for that' Kevin said as he started to chase after him
laughing.

The rest of the guys went and got ready and we ended up at the local
arcade. And it's a good thing that I didn't bet with Nick. Never before
have I got my ass kicked so badly. I swear he was born with a joystick in
his hand.

As we drove back to the hotel, Nick was still bragging about his beating
me.

'I'm gonna hear about this forever aren't I?' I said to Howie.

'Why do you think that we don't play with him any more?' he laughed.

Nick was oblivious to Howie and I talking about him.

'And then I did this fatality move where I bit his head off.' Nick
continued telling his story to Brian.

'Enough. You rule. Game Master. I am but your humble servant who shall
never pick up a joystick again.' I said to Nick, bending my head down.

'That's all I wanted to hear. I'll stop now' Nick said, with a big grin
on his face.

We arrived at the hotel and the guys all went to their rooms after saying
good night to me. I assured them that I would see them off tomorrow at
the airport.

Kevin closed the door to his room and pulled me into a hug.

I heard him sniffle. I pulled away so that I could look at him in the
face.

'Silly boy. What did I tell you?' I said, wiping a tear away from his
cheek.

'I know. But, I promised myself that I wouldn't cry in front of the guys
tomorrow when we left here. I meant to not cry in front of you either.
But when I heard you saying that you'd see us off tomorrow, it just hit
me that I'm leaving you behind.' Kevin said as he hugged me again.

'You're not leaving me behind. You're going to be away from me for a week
at most.' I stated.

'I know. But, that doesn't make it any better.' he continued.

'Kevin, I think that we need to sit down and talk.' I said, pulling him
over to the couch.

Kevin looked worried and said, 'You've changed your mind haven't you? You
don't wanna come now.'

'No. Not at all. I just want to make sure that we're on the same page
about where this is headed.' I said, looking into his eyes.

'I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?' he asked.

'No. Let me explain what I mean. I just wanted to make sure that you've
considered all of this. My coming along with you all; the job; our
relationship. I mean, we're going to be together a lot. And I want to
make sure that you are ready for this. Have you thought about what you
're going to tell you're mother, your bosses and anyone else who asks who
I am and why we spend so much time together? Maybe I just worry too much
and have to have things planned out too much. But I worry about these
things. If people know that I am gay, it's not a big deal. My career
won't be hurt. People finding out about you could be detrimental though.
Not just for you but for the other guys as well.' I said, gathering his
hands in mine.

'I'll tell my mom as soon as I get the chance. She needs to know anyway
and I was planning on telling here sometime soon anyway. And if I can
show her the person that I care about at the same time, that's even
better. My bosses know. They've always known. As for the public, they
imagine what they want to anyway. It's not like some people don't think
that were gay already. You've heard the stories. I mean, they call us the
Backdoor Boys. And yes, you worry too much. You'll find that there's a
lot of structure to my life, but there are times when things aren't so
planned. I know that this relationship is new to both of us, but you have
to trust in me to make it work. If I didn't want to get to know you
better and at least try to build something between us, neither one of us
would be here right now.' Kevin responded, looking into my eyes.

'Why you're putting up with me I have no idea. But I am glad that you
are.' I said, kissing him on cheek.

'Because I do care for you. More than I have for anyone in a long time.
Is it love ? Not yet. I can't honestly say that I love you. It's way too
soon for that and I think that it would be more lust than love at this
point in time. But, I do like you, I do care for you and I do worry what
you think about me and our relationship.' Kevin responded.

'I know it's only been a short time too, but I care for you also. I've
talked about things with you that I've never talked about with anyone
before. It's odd that I can trust someone so quickly. I generally have
this huge wall up that takes a long time to get through. You must be a
climber, because you got right over.' I stated.

Kevin yawned and I started to also. Yawns are catchy that way. 'Someone's
tired' I said, running my hand through his hair.

'Wanna go to bed now ? Or stay up talking some more ?' he asked.

'We can do both. Let's get ready for bed and we can talk while we go to
sleep.' I said, getting up and walking over to the bed.

15 minutes later, we lie in bed chatting about silly things. Nothing too
heavy to get either one of us depressed. I slowly started to drift off
and Kevin reached over and placed a kiss on my forehead before lying his
head on my chest and falling to sleep himself.

We awoke the next morning and had breakfast with the guys. The morning
was spent doing little things to get themselves ready to leave. Kevin was
getting more depressed as 2 o'clock approached. When the front lobby
called to tell them that the limo was out front to take them to the
airport, I saw the tears form in his eyes.

'Don't do this to me. Please.' I said, as I wiped his tears away. 'You're
gonna make me start crying and I promised to save that for after you're
all gone. Besides, 1 week is all we'll be apart. Think that you can last
that long ?'

'Yes. I'm blubbering. I'm sorry. It's just....' Kevin stopped in
mid-sentence.

'I understand. Trust me I do. I see such a great start for us and it's a
little daunting to have it paused so soon.' I said, trying to finish his
thought.

'Exactly.' he said, hugging me.

'Ok Let's get your stuff ready to be taken downstairs and grab the rest
of the guys.' I said, standing up and pulling him with me.

We put Kevin's things in the hall with the rest of the guys' stuff and
headed toward Howie's room.

'You ready in there' Kevin called out as he knocked on Howie's door.

'Come in Kev. And I'm assuming Josh is with you.' Howie yelled from
inside.

We walked in to find the rest of the guys all sitting in the living room
area of his hotel room chatting.

'Time to get you guys to the airport and off on your next journey.' I
said from the edge of the room.

'Don't remind us. Flying sucks.' Brian said. Nick looked at him and
nodded.

'The sooner we get going the quicker it'll be over.' AJ said, standing
up.

They gathered what things they were taking on the plane and we all headed
toward the elevators.

'I just thought of something. Should I drive separately?' I asked Kevin.

'Nope. I told them that they needed to take you back to get your car
after we leave. You're all set with a ride back.' he responded.

'You're always thinking aren't you ?' I hugged him as we rode down to the
lobby.

'Mostly about you.' Howie threw in.

We both blushed.

The ride to the airport was in filled with silence. As we arrived and
headed toward the plane, I began to feel a tear slip down my cheek. 'Stop
crying' I said to myself and I cleared my throat and wiped the tears
away.

The guys all said their good-byes and we gave each other hugs. 'Now. You
all have my email and number. Call or write if you get the chance and
I'll see you in about a week.

They boarded the plane and I turned and looked at Kevin, he was smiling
at me trying to look happy.

'I promised myself that I wouldn't cry either. That does neither of us
any good. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to once I get on the plane
though.' he said grabbing me into a hug.

'Good. I don't want to have that look on your face in my mind for a week.
I'd rather see you with a smile on your face.' I said, my face buried in
his chest.

After a few minutes, I pulled away and pushed him toward the plane. 'Get
going or you'll never leave. Call me. It goes without saying, but I'll
miss you.'

I started to cry and I turned and started to walk away, not wanting him
to see me like this.

'Josh. Wait.' Kevin grabbed me and spun me around.

He looked into my eyes and leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips.
Nothing heavy or lustful. Just a light kiss.

'I'll miss you more than you know.' he said and turned around and boarded
the plane.

I watched the plane pull away from the gate and then takeoff. I think to
assure myself that he was really gone.

I walked back to the limo and was taken back to get my car.

As I drove back to my house, I was thinking about the short time that we
spent together and wondered if it was okay to be feeling this much for
someone in such a short time. I got mental picture of Kevin and laughed
to myself. Of course it was.

Kevin called me later that night and told me that management had agreed
to let me make the documentary. That was one little obstacle that we
forgot about.

We chatted and made small talk. He said the plane ride was good and told
me all about where they were staying and the hotel.

'It isn't nearly as good as the one we were in while in Detroit. Mainly
because you're not here.' Kevin said.

I smiled and said, 'You're biased again. And, I miss you too.'

We chatted a little while longer. A lot of the time just sitting on the
phone not saying anything, just listening to each other breathe. I know
it seems goofy to do that, but it didn't seem odd to me at the time.

We grudgingly hung up the phone after a tearful goodbye and I set out to
get some things ready for my departure.

I wondered how I was going to get it all done in a week.

It was nearing 10 PM when I decided that I was too tired to keep sorting
through stuff and started to head for my bedroom.

I got ready for bed and had just climbed in when the phone rang again.

I picked it up wondering who was calling this late in the night.

"Hello.' I said into the receiver.

'It's me. I just wanted to tell you something. Something that you told me
not to tell you. But since we're thousands of miles apart, you can't stop
me now. I know what I said before and I've come to a conlusion. I love
you Josh. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't because I was scared. But,
as much as that might scare me and scare you, I had to tell you. Sweet
dreams my love.' I hung up the phone as I heard the dial tone.

_______________________________________________________________________________

End of Chapter 7.

That was Kevin on the phone...wasn't it ? =)

Hope you enjoyed this latest installment. The next one promises to be out
soon. Write me as always at Kevsstory@aol.com