Date: Sat, 10 Jan 2004 13:47:06 -0500
From: joey miller <pandora0071@lycos.com>
Subject: 'Learning how to Fly'   Chapter 5

LEARNING HOW TO FLY

Chapter 5
~ Rise and Shine ~

Hi all. Back again with yet another chapter. Comments, praise and criticism
are welcome and should be sent to Pandora0071@lycos.com.

Disclaimer: The usual stuff applies. This is fiction and I am not implying
anything about the sexualities of the celebrities mentioned in this story.

If you are homophobic, go away. If you are underage or accessing this story
is illegal where you live, please leave.

***

	"Hey, breakfast is here! And look, it brought AJ." Nicky exclaimed
upon opening the door. It was eight am and he had just been rudely awakened
by a knock on the door.
	"There I was thinking that you guys have loads of money, and now I
see you working as a roomboy?" Jamie joked. He sat up on the bed and pulled
the blanket higher to cover himself up. AJ laughed.
	"I ran into the roomboy on the hallway and decided to make his work
easier. So here ya go. See you in a few." AJ was already on his way out the
door when he stopped and turned around. He stood mute for a while, as
though trying to figure out whether or not he should speak.
	"Anything wrong?" Nicky asked. AJ shrugged his shoulders.
	"Well, I was just wondering ... is Colin alright? I mean, was he
upset last night?" His eyes were filled with sincere worry.
	"He'll be okay. It's not the first time he's dealt with stuff like
that." AJ nodded.
	"They have to take a lot of shit and it's so unfair cause it ain't
even their fault. I keep telling Bri not to be so ignorant. I mean, he
never knows who he's pissing off." He shook his head sadly.
	"Don't worry. Colin's got our support and that's what counts."
	"He's really lucky he's got friends like you." AJ said. Then he
left.


	Next door, the lights were still out. But only Dave was still
asleep. Colin was already awake, staring up at the shadows above him. The
curtains weren't drawn completely and the headlights of the cars passing on
the streets played catch on the dark ceiling, swirling around just like the
thoughts in Colin's head. Last night he'd been too exhausted to grasp the
full meaning of what had happened. But now the dawn was bringing reality
back and Nicks confession hit him like a freight train.
	It meant so much on so many levels. Colin wasn't the only one
having to deal with Brian's behavior. In fact, there was someone who was
affected by it a whole lot more. And Nick, he had opened himself up, said
something he probably shouldn't have said. Something that could jeopardize
his whole career. And he'd said it to someone he barely knew. Did he know
all the consequences this could carry with it? The secret was safe with
Colin, but Nick didn't know that for sure.
	Colin moved around on his bed, restless, nervous. He needed to talk
to Nick, but didn't know how to approach him, how to get a minute with him
alone. Brian would be watching him like a hawk, that much was for
certain. Finally he got up and went to take a cold shower. By the time he
was done, Dave was up and had just ordered breakfast from the room service.
	"Morning. Where were you last night?" Dave asked. Colin rummaged
through his suitcase, searching for a pair of pants, and his voice was
muffled by the clothing.
	"Went up on the sun deck. Nice and quiet out there." Having found
what he had been looking for, he pulled on the blue sweatpants and plopped
down on the bed next to Dave.
	"Do you think you are going to be able to handle Brian? Cause if
you want out, we can understand that. We can still leave." Dave offered.
	"Hell no. This is the chance of a lifetime. I won't let some
ignorant little popstar get in our way."
	"Are you sure about that?"
	"Dave, I appreciate what you are trying to do. But really, it's
gonna be alright."
	A knock sounded from the door.
	"Room service!"


	"Where were you last night?"
	"Why do you care?" Nick asked, then winced. Way too
defensive. Slick move. Brian was sure to get suspicious now.
	"I worry about you. I mean, you just took off. Was anything wrong?"
Anything? You. You were wrong.  You are always wrong. Because you don't
have a fucking clue what you are talking about.
	"No. I just needed to get a breath of fresh air." Brian gave his
friend an appraising look, then shook his head.
	"Why do you keep lying to me? Lately, it's like you either dodge my
questions or you lie." Because you'd hate the truth. Because you'd hate
me. Because you'd never look at me again.
	"Me? Why would I lie to you?" Nick tried to sound convincing. The
hurt in his voice was real. Didn't matter that it was there for a different
reason.
	"You tell me." Brian muttered. But Nick didn't. He chose not to say
anything at all and cloak himself in silence. Brian waited for a little
while, then left to take a shower.
	Nick leaned against the headboard of the bed and closed his
eyes. Too much to worry about. How long would he be able to keep up his
little game with Brian? Sooner or later, Brian would wear him down and Nick
would collapse and confess everything. Which would not only destroy their
friendship but the future of the band. But there was a more recent problem
pressing down on Nick. His momentary weakness from the previous night. The
things he'd told Colin. Big mistake, no matter how good it had felt to say
it out loud. Would Colin keep it a secret?
	Some people love to trade information for money and five seconds in
the spotlight. But what good would it do for Colin to badmouth the
Backstreet Boys? Bad press now would mean slow ticket sales for the
concerts. No, as long as he was feeding off the Backstreet Boys' success,
he'd stay silent.
	Nick forced himself to get up and get dressed. Almost nine
o'clock. Time for breakfast. Time for rehearsals. More time spent hiding
and acting and smiling a smile that stopped being sincere a long time ago.
	Fuck fame. Sometimes Death sounds damn good.

***

So that's Chapter five. Stay tuned for more.

Much Love, Joey