Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2001 21:29:40 -0000
From: Brown Eyes <calm_lost@hotmail.com>
Subject: A Little Bit of Both - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Let's see, this chapter is going to be a little hectic. Summer and
Mary are coming to visit, and Mary makes the big mistake of bringing a
cousin with her. Problems will arise, friendships will be tested and
you'll be disgusted by how cuddly Summer and Lance are in front of
the guys. LOL. Anyways, just wait and see, this chapter will cuz some
good turmoil for the story.

Thanks to everyone who has sent in feedback, it's been appreciated.

Last time in Chapter 2

"You don't have to apologize. I'm just pissed about a lot of
shit, not at you." Justin answered.

"Oh, wanna talk about it?"

"No." That was a first. Justin never shut himself out to JC, but JC knew
when not to push situations.

"Okay, but I'll be in my room if you do."

"Okay." JC took that as a sign of being asked to leave, and he backed out
of the room and down the hall. The mood in the room made JC wonder if
Justin really wasn't made at him, but he decided to wait until
tomorrow when the girls came to figure it out. He was going to have to
see what Mary thought before anything else.

 

"Josh!" Justin cringed at the sight of someone else calling his best
friend Josh, and his anger grew as he watched JC grab Mary and pull her
into a hug. A few feet away Lance and Mary were whispering words back in
forth in an embrace. Justin stood next to Joey and Chris who were handing
him some of the girls things to carry inside the house. He was yet to be
introduced to the guy the girls had brought along, and was wondering if
they were always rude.

"Oh guys, I forgot. This is my cousin Jordan, Jordan meet the guys,
Chris, Joey, Justin, Lance, and JC." Mary replied quickly after noticing
the looks of confusion the guys had as they stared at the boy.

"Hey." Jordan replied happily.

"Hey" Joey said for the whole group.

"Come in, come in." Lynn ushered every one into the house, and let them
set their things down in the main hall before rushing them into the
living room. She insisted that they sit on the couch, which left two
seats open, she took one and JC took the other. Leaving Justin, Joey,
Chris and Lance to stand. Lance seemed not to even care, he just
continued to hold his girl friends hand standing next to her side of the
couch. Justin however was annoyed that he had been removed of his own
seat. "How was the flight?"

"Great Ms. Harless." Jordan answered.

"Please, call me Lynn or mom, all the boys do."

"Okay Lynn, it was great." Jordan laughed and changed his answer.

"Good, are any of you hungry, I could fix you lunch."

"I'm kinda hungry mom." Justin answered.

"You know where the food is, I was asking if the guests were hungry
honey." Lynn ignored Justin, and went back to having conversation with
the guests. Justin tired of the situation walked out of the room angrily,
and he knew that everyone in the room could tell. Even though he was
hungry he didn't go to the kitchen, he went up to his room to
complain.

"Mind if I come in?" Justin turned from his seat on the bed to see Mary.

"How'd you know I would be here?" Justin asked as he motioned with
her hand for her to enter.

"I just kinda guessed, I usually go to my room when I'm pissed
too." Mary replied.

"Yeah, well, I like to be alone when I'm pissed." Justin replied a
little rudely.

"No you don't, JC told me you don't like to be alone at all."
Mary smiled at him, trying to pin him into talking to her.

"What else does JC tell you bout me?" Justin asked a little intrigued
that JC would tell someone else something between them.

"Nothing important if that's what you mean. He doesn't tell
me your secrets or anything, he's your best friend you can trust
him with that." Mary laughed.

"I know."

"So, what's bothering you?"

"You, Summer, Jordan, all this. My mom asks if anyone's hungry and
ignores the fact that I am. I have to stand in my own living room, I have
to carry the bags even though you aren't my guest. The fact that
you, you..." Justin stopped short of finishing and stared up at
Mary. She was listening intently.

"The fact that Josh hugged me, the fact that I call Josh, Josh." Mary
finished for him.

"I'm not jealous, it's just, Josh doesn't let many
people call him that." Justin explained.

"I know, but me and him have always been close. You don't have
anything to worry about though."

"Okay." Justin replied, but Mary could tell he was still mad at
something.

"Ya know, you missed important things downstairs. Jordan isn't big
on secrets, so he told everyone that he was gay. They all took it well, I
guess cuz they don't know him. He wanted to see what you thought
about that too."

"I don't care, it's his business." Justin replied, trying to
end the conversation.

"I'll leave you to yourself now, just wanted to see if you were
okay, and let you know about Jordan." Mary smiled and walked out of the
room. Knowing that Justin was okay with Jordan meant that maybe JC could
realize that he could tell the guys too.

Meanwhile in the living room, JC couldn't help but notice the
stares he was receiving from Jordan. After Jordan had come out, he
thought that maybe the awestruck face he had on his face had made cause
for stares. He didn't know whether or not Jordan could tell he was
gay or not. Or if Mary had said something to him. He had hoped she
hadn't, she hadn't even told her best friend, Summer was
still clueless so that was a good sign.

But on the same hand, Summer was clueless because of her admiration of
Lance. The group had all become accustomed to the cuddling, but Summer
was practically in Lance's pants right in front of them, ignoring
the blatant fact that Justin's mother was only five or so feet away
from them. But she just smiled at the couple, and ignored it best she
could.

"Where did Justin go?" Lynn obviously tried to make conversation to avoid
the couple.

"He's in his bedroom." Mary replied walking back into the room and
taking a seat on the floor.

"Why?" Lynn asked a little confused, Mary just shrugged at her, unsure
really of the actual reason. She really hadn't gotten an answer out
of Justin.

"Hey, Josh, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mary stood up, calling for
JC to go some where with her privately.

"Yeah." JC replied, following her outside. Once the door was closed, Mary
turned to JC with a serious look on her face, which was accompanied by a
smile.

"Good news." Mary's smile grew. "Justin doesn't care that
Jordan is gay. That means you can tell him your gay and he won't
care either." Mary smiled, but it soon faded, when she noticed that JC
wasn't returning a smile, not even a sparkle or glimmer of one.

"That isn't good news Mar, that just proves that he doesn't
care about a stranger. Justin doesn't know Jordan, he doesn't
live with him, sleep in his bed when he's scared and work with him.
I have to see Justin every day, that's different, Jordan's a
complete stranger." JC explained.

"But it still means that you have a better chance of him not caring,
doesn't it?" Mary asked with some confusion.

"No, it doesn't. It just means Justin could care less about Jordan.
And what's with Jordan anyways. You didn't tell him I was gay
did you? Because he's in the living room staring at me for the past
twenty minutes, while you were gone." JC started to get upset.

"He's got a crush on you, that's all. If he knows
you're gay I didn't tell him. But gay guys do have gay-dar
Josh. And anyways, you aren't going to hook up with Justin most
likely, so maybe, you..."

"No, don't even say it Mar."

"But Josh, you two would be good together. He has a lot of interests that
are similar to Justin's, he likes basketball. He's younger
then you, he's cute, he's funny." Mary started to describe
features of Jordan in an attempt to get JC to cave.

"No Mary, I'm not dating Jordan. First off it would mean ruining my
life, I'd have to come out to the guys right away, and it
wouldn't be pretty. And the biggest reason, I can't date
anyone. I'm in love with Justin, I wouldn't be able to give
myself to any one else." JC countered.

"Okay, well, um, let's just go inside and drop this. I don't
want to fight with you while I'm here on vacation." Mary smiled at
him, hoping he would accept. "I'm sorry, now can I have a hug?" JC
walked over and pulled Mary into a hug. Mary giggled and pushed him back.
"I didn't say kill me you asshole."

"Oh, my mistake." JC mocked sincerity.

"You coming inside?"

"No, I wanna cool down for a bit. Tell them I'll be in a little
bit." JC replied, and watched as Mary walked into the house. The door
shut, and he settled down on the railing of the front porch. It was a
nice day, a little chilly, but that was good, because he needed to
release some of his anger, and freezing would do that to him.

It came to him as a surprise when the front door popped open. He turned
to see Jordan standing there. He smiled and turned back to staring,
hoping that Jordan would get the picture that he wanted to be left alone.

"Is it okay if I sit with you?" Jordan asked politely.

"It's cool." JC replied, as pissed off as he was, he couldn't
be purposefully mean to some one.

"Thanks." Jordan sat down next to him on the railing, and looked out,
maybe intent on finding the same thing JC was staring at. "Um, you okay?
Cuz Mary came back in, and you didn't, so I was just wondering?"

"I'm fine, just upset about something." JC replied.

"Yeah, I know how it is. I get upset over stuff like this too, a few of
my friends at home don't know that I'm gay, and they never
understand that. So it's hard putting up a front for some and not
others." Jordan's words shocked JC into reality. His eyes no longer
roamed the area in front of him, but focused directly on Jordan with
anger and confusion.

"How'd you, did Mary tell you?"

"No Mary didn't tell me. We're close, but not close enough
that she would betray you. I just know, I can tell, ya know, I can sense
it. It's true about gay-dar, we really do have it. Or at least some
of us, cuz I know guys who have it really bad, and they just think they
have it." Jordan replied, and JC couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Don't you have it?"

"I guess I can kinda tell when people are gay. But I don't know,
it's confusing, so many singles can be picked up on as wrong ones.
And it's so hard to read men." JC replied.

"I know." Jordan replied, and JC suddenly became aware that he was face
to face with Jordan. He was unsure of how it happened, but slowly the two
leaned in, and as lips met, Jordan grabbed JC pulling him close for the
kiss to become more passionate.

And as quick as it had started, JC regretfully became aware of what he
was doing. And just like that he pushed Jordan backwards. "Sorry, I just,
I can't be doing this."

"Why not, I'm single, you're single?" Jordan asked.

"Because I like some one else."

"Who?" Jordan asked.

"A friend, some one who no matter, even if they aren't gay, even if
they don't know it, could never be replaced. I could never date any
one else, because I could never be there for them. He comes first to me,
he always will. His health, his happiness, they are me, I don't
need a relationship to find that." JC replied honestly.

"I guess I'm sorry then. I just thought that you wanted it too."
Jordan replied.

"I did, I mean, I don't know. I've never kissed a guy, and
you were a great first. I just didn't mean for it to happen, but it
wasn't bad." JC felt like he was making an ass out of himself.
Every time he tried to explain, he either couldn't do it with
hurting Jordan's feelings or making it seem like he wanted more
then just that kiss.

"I get it. Whaddya say we get inside so they don't get curious as
to what's going on out here?" Jordan asked.

"Thanks, but you aren't going to tell them are you?" JC asked
concerned

"No, I would never do that." Jordan replied and they walked back into the
living room.

"Well, how would you girls like to help me with dinner in the kitchen?
And we can leave the guys to make Jordan feel like family." Lynn stood,
and ushered the girls out of the living room. The girls didn't have
much objection to it though, and followed happily, Mary turning to smile
at JC to see if he was okay. She was a little surprised to see that JC
was even more upset now then he was before. Knowing she couldn't
bring it up in front of everyone she went back to the task at hand.
Making dinner with the other girls.

JC took a seat far away from Jordan. He didn't want to be near the
kid right now, quite frankly he was unsure why he had even let the kiss
happen. He forced himself to believe that it was because it was in the
moment. But the more he thought about it, he knew one of the secret
reasons was because Mary was right, the kid did have a lot in common with
Justin, including a child-like innocence and charm. Not to mention his
good looks.

"So, what were you doing out there!?!" Chris spoke in his usual joking
manner, hinting at the obvious that Jordan being gay could have been
putting the moves on their JC.

"Nothing!" JC responded pretty quickly and soon after turned beet red,
which only confused Chris and the others. Jordan looked over at him and
smiled, hoping that JC wouldn't make an outburst like that again.

"You got pretty upset very nothing." Joey teased.

"Shut up!" JC yelled pretty loudly, in fact he was surprised that Ms.
Harless or Justin running to see what was going on hadn't
interrupted him.

"Dude, Jace, calm down. We're just teasing. We know you
aren't gay." Lance tried to calm down his friend, but his laughter
turned him in.

"What if I were?" JC said, and even that shocked Jordan. Minutes ago he
thought JC was the type to never come out. But guesses could always be
wrong, and his was.

"Are you serious?" Joey was the first to speak after it. His eyes
transfixed on one of his best friends as he seemingly just came out of
the closet. Lance and Chris sat in silence, Lance because he had no clue
what to say. And Chris because he hadn't expected JC to admit it to
everyone.

"Yeah, I'm gay." JC said in a calmer manner, a look of
embarrassment crossed his face as the realization of what he had just
down came over him. He sat down, half expecting a fight, and half
expecting the silence to consume them all.

"Well, um, I'm still your friend Jace." Joey was once again the
first one to speak. "You being, uh, gay doesn't change a think
about that."

"Thanks Joe."

"Me too, you can fuck whatever you want. As long as you are the one
fucking." Chris laughed, standing up and giving a quick friendly
handshake to his friend.

"You and Jordan, aren't, well I mean, you know, having sex?" Lance
didn't say anything besides that.

"We just met!" Jordan jumped in before JC could say anything.

"Sorry, but what were you two doing out there?" Lance asked, still
defending himself.

"Nothing." Jordan replied.

"No, it's okay Jordan. We kissed, it was a mistake. I don't
like Jordan like that." JC replied, smiling at Jordan.

"So, you aren't, dating anyone?" Lance asked, his attitude towards
the situation was still unsure of as far as JC could tell.

"No."

"Oh, well I'm cool with it." Lance replied, slapping him on the
shoulder. "Like Chris said, just as long as you are fucking."

The room broke into laughter, and it remained liked that for a few
minutes, until another voice was hear.

"What's so funny?" They all turned to see Justin. Turning again,
the look on JC's face made it evident that he didn't tell
Justin yet.

"Nothing." Joey chuckled, his laughter ending, and gaining a straight
face.

"Fine!" Justin turned and walked out of the room, an upset look covering
his face. He walked into his bedroom and slammed the door shut, angering
and sadness running through his body. He was tired of being treated like
shit today. First he had to carry in the bags of everyone else's
guests. Then he wasn't even introduced into the guests, and then he
was forced to stand in his own home. And to top it off, the worst part
was that when he left the room, JC had stayed with Mary, and he even
allowed the girl to call him Josh. Something that Justin had thought only
he was allowed to do. And now, to top everything off, he had walked in on
some secret, something, funny and was informed that it was nothing. He
figured most likely because he was too young.

He wasn't too young for every thing though. Usually JC trusted him
with everything. He liked that, it made him feel important. And all he
felt now was like shit. Soon enough the anger had subsided and only the
sadness was left. Tears slowly started to form in his eyes and as much as
he hated to cry he couldn't help it. Maybe they would have stopped
if he had been comforted. But in the past few days, he didn't see
JC much, and JC was the only one who comforts him.

Sitting in his bed, his head tucked into his pillow tightly he cried.
Slight sobs were barely audible to JC who stood in the doorway. He was
surprised that Justin hadn't over heard him open the door. And now,
he didn't know what to do, there lay his best friend, the angel of
his desire upset and emotional and for the first time he didn't
know what was bothering him.

"Justin we need to talk about something important." JC decided that was
the best way to begin. If the others knew, he knew that Justin had to be
informed too. He wasn't going to tell him that he loved him, just
that he was gay, and maybe about the kiss with Jordan.

Justin didn't respond though, just continued to cry. JC knew just
what to do and sat down on the bed. "Justin, this is going to be hard for
you to hear, and it's hurt for me to say, so I'm just gonna
say it...."

TBC...

Okay, what is JC going to say? Is he going to admit that he's gay?
Will he have enough guts to do it? And what is wrong with Justin? Is it
just the fact that he feels like he's being ousted from everything
and over all just having a bad day? Or could it be more? I don't
know, you can answer some of them if you like, I'm open for
suggestions.

See ya in a week.

Brown Eyes