Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 12:57:40 EDT
From: Adam I <aci_85@hotmail.com>
Subject: Loneliness Unmasked - Chap. 5 and Chap. 6

**For this chapter, and from now in, Brian Litrell's father will be known as
Harold and his brother will be known as James. This is just to keep things
understanding. It is hard to read a story in my mind with two same named
people.**

Legal Disclaimer - All members of The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC are written
in fictious roles in this story. This story is a complete work of fiction
based on my writing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 5 -- YOUR WELCOME

BRIAN'S ROOM (morning)


Brian woke up to see that Nick and Justin were both still sleeping. Justin
was now clutching his pillow instead of Brian. Nick was laying on his
stomach. "I really am blessed." Brian said as he stood up and walked over to
the phone. "Yeah, could I get three breakfast meals to room 312?" Brian was
on the phone with the room service attendant.

"Yes, I can have them up to you in 15 minutes." The woman replied. Brian
thanked her and hang up the phone. He turned around glaring at the two
sleeping beauties.

"Who to wake up first?" Brian questioned as he looked at the two. He decided
to wake up Nick first. He knew Nick would want to be up and at 'em before he
got his breakfast. Brian approached Nick's bed, and shook him. "Nick, get
up, breakfast will be here soon." Brian tapped Nick on the forehead.

"Alright." Nick woke up quickly . Sitting up and finally getting out of the
bed. Nick was a light sleeper. And he was easily awoken, once awake he
usually got right up.

"Could you help me get Justin up?" Brian asked Nick as he looked at his
sleepy boyfriend. Nick gave him a smile. "Thanks."  Brian and Nick walked
over towards the sleeping beauty.  They each grabbed a section of the
blankets, and ripped them off. Justin flinched, but didn't wake up. Brian
jumped onto the bed next to Justin, and shook him. "Get up baby" Brian
continued to shake Justin. It would not be as easy as it was with Nick,
Justin was a very heavy sleeper.  "The breakfast is gonna come soon, and he
won't even be awake." Brian joked at Nick.

"Why don't you please him awake?" Nick said giving Brian an odd look. "I'll
go into the bathroom and freshen up, and you can let Justin rise in more
ways then one." Nick laughed as he headed towards the bathroom.  Brian
laughed but then thought about the suggestion.

"What the hell, it's worth a try." Brian said as he slowly pulled Justin's
pants down. Brian pulled Justin's boxers down next, and then stared at his
lover's dick. "It's so nice." Brian said as he lightly caressed it. He
wrapped his hand around it, and began to stroke. Brian got into it, feeling
himself become aroused. He stroked faster, and began to hear signs of Justin
awaking.

"Uh, yeah, oh." Justin moaned fluttering his eyes. He was in ecstasy.
"Brian, yeah." Justin screamed out. "OHHHHHHH." Justin released one final
moan as he released his sperm into Brian's hand. Brian stood up, pulling
Justin's pants and boxers up with him.

"Nick you can come out now." Brian hollered walking away from the bed. Nick
opened the door and came out of the bath room. His hair was fixed, and he
looked wide awake.

"He was still here?" Justin shakingly asked. He still hadn't recovered from
the intense orgasm he just had.

"Yeah, It was my idea actually. He said you were hard to wake up." Nick
laughed.

"Oh, if it was your idea, why didn't you do it then?" Justin said still
shaking in his voice, but making a joke himself.

"Very funny, but you better recooperate soon, breakfast is coming up soon."
Brian said pushing Justin slightly. "I wouldn't want you to choke, you know,
since you can't really talk either." Brian said making fun of Justin's
predicament.

"Give me a few minutes." Justin said trying to clear his throat. He stood up
and walked towards the bathroom.

"Where ya going?" Brian looked over to catch Justin slowly edging closer to
the bathroom.

"To freshen up." Justin said. "Do I need to check in?" Justin teased.

"No, just make sure you take your pill. It's Monday ya know. And you are
supposed to take them at the beginning of the week." Brian said remembering
what the bottle had read. He didn't want Justin to go into the bathroom
alone with the same pills that almost killed him before. But he knew if he
went in with him that Justin would know that he wasn't trusted.

"I know." Justin moaned closing the door. He eyed the cabinet and pulled out
the bottle. He closed his eyes, and fell into a dream feeling. He saw
himself vividly. Wiping his eyes with tissues, and then his pants. He
relived himself popping the cap off the pills. Emptying the contents of the
bottle into his hand. He watched as he swallowed the pills. Justin then
found himself back in the bathroom holding the pills again. "Hey Brian could
you come here a second." Justin screamed through the door.

"Yeah, hang on." Brian walked towards the door wondering what had happened.
Justin was waiting when Brian entered. "What's wrong?" Brian asked looking
at Justin with fear.

"Um, Could you put the pills some where else? And could you put my dose in
my mouth for me?" Justin asked. He didn't want to be dependant on Brian. But
he was not ready to take the pills himself. His flash back was a clear sign
of that. He had no need to over dose now, but he still felt himself
compelled to when he looked at the bottle in his hand only moments ago.

"Sure, but why?" Brian asked as he put the pill in Justin's mouth and handed
him a glass of water. Brian watched as Justin drank the pill down. He
grabbed the bottle and put them in his pocket to find a place for them.

"I had a flashback of that night." Justin found himself answering Brian as
they walked out of the room. Brian turned to look at him, as he listened.

"Are you okay? You didn't take any others did you?" Brian didn't want to ask
the question. He feared the answer whether it be yes or no. If it was yes,
he would be rushing Justin to the hospital, if the answer was no, he feared
that Justin may get upset over the question.

"No, I didn't, I just don't trust myself with them." Justin said sitting
back down on the bed, next to Nick. Nick looked over, he had not been paying
attention to the conversation between his best friend, and new friend. Brian
let the answer calm himself. His thoughts were interrupted as the door felt
a small knock.

"Breakfast, alright." Nick jumped from his seat and ran towards the door. He
opened it and looked disappointed. "Oh, it's just you guys." Nick walked
back to his seat, followed by Kevin and AJ. Kevin walked over to the other
bed and sat down, AJ stopped and leaned against the wall.

"Thanks, I didn't know we were so bad." Kevin sat down on the bed. He looked
around to see if he got a laugh. Justin didn't move from his position, and
Nick went back to watching tv. Brian was now back into his deep thought. And
AJ smirked but Kevin got no laugh from him either. Another knock came at the
door and Nick jumped up again, he ran to the door and answered it. The room
service was at the door, and Nick rolled in the cart.

"Thanks." Nick said handing the women a tip. He closed the door and wheeled
in the food. "Breakfast is served." Nick laughed handing Justin his tray.
"Brian you gonna get yours before it's cold?" Nick asked looking at Brian.
However, this time at the knock of the door, Brian had not been knocked out
of his thoughts. "Brian?" Nick hollered at his friend.

"Oh, yeah, thanks. I was just thinking for a minute." Brian eyed Justin who
was now eating his meal. Nick had already started his and Kevin and AJ were
just standing around. "Did you guys eat?" Brian broke the silence by asking
his cousin and bandmate about their apetites.

"Yeah, we just got back from breakfast. Just wanted to know what happened to
Nick last night." Kevin said now knowing that Nick must have fallen asleep
in the room of his younger cousin.

"I just dozed off watching tv." Nick said answer Kevin's question, although
it wasn't really asked. Brian went back to eating and thinking.

"So, you when do you think we can start the concert? I know we discussed
that it wouldn't be until after the weekend, but it's Monday now, and we
need to decide soon." Kevin asked,  the whole group turned there heads
towards the man.

"You said we weren't going to discuss it." AJ barked out as he eyed Kevin.
AJ was under the impression that the conversation would be a calm one, just
like Kevin had promised him.

"I know, but we have to. We have to get it out of the way, so we can get
practicing, I mean Justin hasn't practiced for a week. And they need him to,
so they can practice the moves they have together." Kevin didn't look up
from the floor.

"What about, Wednesday?" Brian who had payed full attention to what his
cousin had said, was now snapping out of it. He was in shock after hearing
Justin's words.

"No, you aren't ready, sorry but it ain't happening." Brian looked around
the room with a glare. He knew no one would challenge his words. "It's too
early for you to be doing that shit." Justin looked up at Brian, and then
stood. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

"If he says he's ready, then he's ready. Give him a chance." AJ yelled at
Brian, as the door slammed shut. "You aren't his mother." Brian turned in
anger to stare at AJ. He was shocked at AJ's words.

"That's bullshit, the kid ain't ready. He could barely walk last night after
we went swimming, and then with JC being at the concerts, he can't handle
it." Nick was the first to speak up out of Brian and himself. He knew, just
like Brian, that Justin couldn't handle a concert and tour dates. He wasn't
up for the hassle of bus life.

"Oh, what are you now his father." Kevin yelled back. He was pissed that the
room was split in half on the decision. He was hoping for some support from
Nick, or even Brian, but he only recieved it in the form of AJ.

"We have to get back, and if he says Wednesday, then the tour is on
Wednesday." AJ snapped his approval on what Justin had said, and sat down on
the bed. "It isn't our decision, not even your Brian." The group exploded
into an arguement, Nick defending Justin, while Kevin and AJ tried to
explain the reasons behind there points. Brian stood still, listening and
thinking.

"Shut up!" Brian turned first, and then the rest. Justin was standing by the
doorway of the bathroom. "The tour starts this Wednesday. As long as I am on
the same bus with Brian, I don't care what else goes on."  The screams of
the young man were loud, and commanding. Brian was in shock. Justin's face
was tear stained, and Brian knew it was hard for Justin to scream over the
rest of the news in the room. Kevin and AJ walked out of the room smiling,
and Nick followed content with Justin's decision although he felt it to be
the wrong one. Nick pulled the door shut as he exited the room.

"So, you think you can really handle it. The dancing, the singing, the
driving. The interviews, the girls, JC!" The questions of anger flowed out
of Brian's mind. He hardly felt that Justin was ready to handle all the
motions of one song, let alone a concert full of them. Then the constant
movement of the bus, and not to mention all the fans. But his main worry was
Justin having to deal with JC and Lance for that matter. He knew that the
trauma of being locked up in rehearsals all day would kill him. Justin
didn't answer, he just shook his head to signify his answer. "What about me?
Think you can handle being away from me every day. Seperate dressing rooms.
Seperate rehearsal studios. You won't even be in the same building as me for
the practices. How about that, can you handle that?" Brian knew that this
would give Justin something to think about. Whether Justin knew it or not,
Brian couldn't handle it. Brian couldn't bare to think of Justin being
locked in buildings with JC, especially dressing rooms. He knew Justin would
be weak, and he would be caught off guard by JC or Lance if they were
together when he was changing. Which took a lot out of Justin now, but after
a concert, it would be hard for Justin to get dressed, and JC could and
probably would take advantage of the situation.

"I can't." Brian let out his thoughts, as Justin sat down on the bed. Brian
stood by the door of the room. He felt like leaving, but he had promised
Justin he would not leave him. "I promised you I wouldn't leave you, but
when we head back to tour, I have to. You know that don't you." Brian felt
the pain to tell Justin all the bad news of what Justin had already gotten
himself into. Whether Brian or Justin liked it or not the tour was on. Kevin
by now had probably already called the management, and the next town would
be notified to prepare. Brian looked over to see what his lover was doing.

Justin was sitting on the bed, his hands clutching the sweatshirt Brian had
given him the first night of their relationship. His tears fell onto it, but
he did not look up, did not speak. He just sat there, in complete quiet, as
Brian stood by the door. Brian made no motion to walk over. He needed Justin
to realize what alone meant, what it would be like to be by himself with
people he hated for weeks on end.

The ringing of the phone broke the silence. Brian looked around, it was not
the ringing of the hotel phone, but that of his own cell phone. He walked
into the bathroom without looking at Justin, and shut the door.

"Hello?" Brian answered the phone as the door shut. On the other end of the
phone was a warm and open voice to Brian. He had not spoken to his mother in
weeks, and was glad to hear her tender voice was again.

"How are you doing? Going back on tour soon I hope." Jackie Litrell knew
nothing of the situation. She had only found out about Brian's sexuality a
year earlier, and Brian knew it would be hard for her to cope with, since it
after all was Brian's first boyfriend.

"Not great. It's a lot more complicated then any one knows. A lot." Brian
said trying to listen to what was going on outside of the door he was locked
behind.

"Is everything alright there? I hope everyone's fine." Jackie insisted an
answer from her son. She knew that Brian could not lie, not to any one, and
especially not to his mother. What she didn't know was that Brian had the
same weakness with his lover too.

"No, one of the guys still isn't doing well, he's having a few personal
problems." Brian had managed to answer the question without having to
divulge tons of information. He wanted his mother to know everything. The
relationship he had with Justin, the problems that plagued the two groups,
and of course what was going on in the hotel room at that moment.

"Really, which one?" Jackie was still intent on getting an answer out of her
son. She would not hang up the phone until she did, and Brian slowly began
to realize that he knew it.

"Um, Justin Timberlake, one of the guys from NSYNC." It was hard for Brian
to say Justin's name. He felt choked up, as he realized that he had left
Justin alone, in the bedroom crying his eyes out onto the one thing that
Brian had left him. "He's out on one of the beds now." Brian said with out
thinking. He didn't want to say that aloud, he thought it over in his head,
and felt guilt seep into his body. Tears soon followed, as they seeped out
of the same body that was filled with guilt.

"Son, is there something your not telling me? I know when I'm being kept
something from." Jackie could hear her sons tears, as her son began to clear
his throat.

"I'm dating him, he's my boyfriend, and I can't even help him." Brian moaned
letting out the sighs he was feeling.

"Well, that's a shock, but why can't you help him, what is he going
through?" Jackie wanted to yell, wanted to know every reason Brian had for
getting in a relationship with someone, but couldn't, not while her son was
crying.

"He tried to kill himself last week, before we got to New York, that's why
the tour was postponed. He has alot of problems with two of the guys from
his band, and we can't agree on something right now, and I can't help him, I
just let him there, all by himself...alone." Brian told his mother
everything, in between gulps and moans. His tears were flowing down his
cheeks. It had been the first time Brian had weakened. Brian had always been
strong, for the sake of Justin he had to be. He couldn't just break apart
when Justin needed him the most.

"What can't you agree on and what kind of problems does he have? Maybe you
should get away from the city? Come visit us?" Jackie asked question upon
question, hoping her son would take up the offer of visiting.

"JC hits him, beats him actually, and he isn't healthy at all. He's weak and
afraid of everyone. And he said he would go back on tour on Wednesday, and I
know he isn't up to it, he can't stand being alone from me for more then two
minutes let alone hours on end." Tears flowed down his face, landing on his
already soaked shirt. He could hear Justin's tears outside, but couldn't
move from his position in the bathroom.

"Are you sure, it isn't you who can't stand being alone from him?" Jackie's
next question was an important one to her, and more then any one would know
it was just as important to Brian.

"Its equal, he cries my name out when he's alone. He runs to me for support,
and I won't be there for him when the tour starts up. I won't be there to
stop his tears, to calm his shaking body. He needs that." The tears were not
stopping from Brian's eyes. He was letting out every tear he had felt in the
last few days of being with Justin.

"Go to him, and call me back when you are ready to." Jackie hung up the
phone before her son could even say good bye. She knew what Brian needed,
and that was to comfort his husband. Brian dropped the phone on the bathroom
tile, and opened the door.

"Can we talk?" Brian had managed to stop the tears for the moment, and
although his face was covered with the remains, he was recovering for Justin
and the conversations sake.

"I didn't think about anything you said, I didn't think about us, I forget
that we couldn't be together, I forget that I wouldn't see you for hours. I
can't do it now, I can't. But it's too late, I have to." Justin didn't look
up, but he answered the questions he knew Brian would have asked. Brian sat
down next to Justin and pulled the sweatshirt out of his hands. Justin
looked up and fell into Brian's arms.

"We'll handle it, leave it to me, I'll get us out of it, and we can take a
vacation from the big city, and the guys." Brian was realizing how important
it really was to get away from all the others, and the news of New York. He
was taken his mother up on her invitation. "Trust me." Justin looked up, and
smiled, he couldn't stop crying, but he knew that Brian would handle it.
"Would you mine getting your bath now?" Brian looked down at Justin. "I have
to make some phone calls, and I can do them while you relax. After I'm done
I'll be in to bath you." Justin didn't want to let go of Brian. He just
wanted to be held and to hold him for hours. But he knew Brian would win the
arguement if it would have occurred.

"I'll be waiting." Justin answered the question as he walked into the
shower. Brian picked up the hotel phone, and waited for the water to start.
He dialed the number for his management. After a 5 minute arguement between
himself and the head of tour personell, he won and managed to squeeze out a
week and a half worth of vacation before the tour would officialy begin.

"One more phone call and then I'll be there babe." Brian was talking to
Justin although Justin couldn't hear him. Brian let the phone ring as he
waited for his mother to answer.

"Hey, mom, can we still come home?" Brian asked the question as soon as his
mom answered.

"Sure, just you and Justin though, none of the guys, this is your chance to
get away from them." Jackie insisted to her son.

"Thanks, I love you mom. Bye." Brian hung up the phone and stood. He walked
towards the bathroom and opened the door. Justin was relaxing in the water.
His eyes were closed but Brian knew that he wasn't asleep. Brian walked over
to the bath tub, and felt the water. "Shit." Justin jumped back as Brian
hollered.

"What's wrong?" Justin looked up to see a small amount of pain in Brian's
eyes.

"That water is way to hot." Brian said wiping his arm off with a towel. He
looked at Justin and wondered why he would have not felt the same feeling at
his first touch.

"I didn't even notice, I just sat down as the water began to rise, and got
use to it." Justin himself didn't even realize that the water was hot, nor
did he think it was at all warm. "So where are you taking me for vacation?"
Justin smiled knowing full well that Brian had gotten him out of the tour.

"Um, that's what we need to talk about." Brian looked down at Justin as he
picked up the sponge and soap. "We are going to my house. I talked to my mom
and she wants to meet you, it was her idea that we get away actually." Brian
knew that Justin wouldn't be happy with the decision. He took the soap and
lathered up the sponge. His hands worked wonderfully over Justin's chest,
getting out a moan before Justin began to speak.

"OHhhhhhh. Um well any ones, what do you mean she wants to meet me? You
didn't tell her that we were, you know dating did you?" Justin's moan was
then muffled out by his question to Brian.

"Yeah, I did, I had too, I had to tell her everything, I needed advice."
Brian continued to scrub Justin's chest, working his way towards the arms of
the young man.

"I don't wanna go, not if she is going to yell at you for bringing home your
boyfriend." Justin said as he lifted his arm for Brian to wash his armpit.

"Don't worry, she knows the situation or at least most of it, she won't get
angry." Brian said, realizing that he had told his mother a lot, but not
nearly the full story. He himself began to worry since his mother didn't
know that Justin didn't like to be yelled at, or even hear loud voices.

"You told her everything? How could you?" Justin sulked his head down, as
Justin moved down to the legs.

"I just told her why the tour was cancelled, and your past situation, she
doesn't know that you are afraid of loud noises." Brian said scrubbing the
powerful, but weak at the time legs of Justin.

"You told your mother that your first boyfriend, the first guy you love,
tried to commit suicide?" Justin looked towards Brian for an explanation.
Brian just continued to clean Justin's feet before looking up.

"She'll understand once we tell her. Trust me, she'll like you, if you let
her." Brian didn't look up, knowing the argument was over. He had finished
the feet and knew where he had to end. Usually he enjoyed cleaning Justin's
privates, but not tonight, it wasn't the right time to enjoy anything
sexual. He quickly cleaned up Justin's last part and helped him out.

"When do we leave, the sooner, the better." Justin said feeling Brian
tightly embrace him with a hug.

"Thank you. I really needed you to understand why I told her." Brian
released the hug, and dried Justin off. He helped Justin out of the room and
into the bedroom. Justin got dressed by himself, it didn't take much, just a
pair of boxers. Not his own, but Brians. He crawled into bed and pulled the
covers up.

"In the morning, we catch a flight at 8:15, my mom is making the
arrangments, and she will be at the airport to pick us up." Brian answered
Justin's previous questions. "My whole family will love you, I promise."
Brian took off his clothes and crawled into bed wearing briefs. Brian began
to stroke Justins hair, and with his other hand rubbed his back.

"Please stop." Justin said pulling himself forward on the bed. Brian looked
out in shock. "I'm not in the mood tonight." Justin said moving back towards
his lover. "Please hold me, that's all I want." Brian wrapped his arms
around Justin, and smiled.

"I'm sorry, go to sleep." Justin dozed in and out of sleep during the night,
with only one permanent dream.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

JUSTIN'S DREAM

"Get out of my house, no on is taking my son away from me." Jackie Litrell
was throwing Justin's stuff out of the house. Justin didn't know what to do,
he looked for support in the room and focused on Brian.

"You heard her, get out, I never loved you any ways." Brian was not there
for Justin.

END OF DREAM

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Justin's dream was a nightmare, and sweat poured from his forehead. It was
already 6 and Brian was already awake. Justin moaned in pain, as his dreams
stayed on the same bad path he had just seen. Brian heard the faint noises,
and he didn't want to wake Justin yet, but he couldn't let Justin suffer.

"Wake up, Justin wake up." Brian shook Justin with a little force. Justin
flinched and then sat up.

"Get away from me you creeped. I don't love you either." Justin was shaking,
and he began to cry uncontrollably.

"What do you mean, I still love you, I never stopped." Brian grabbed Justin
and pulled him into a hug.

"Then why did you take you mother's side?" Justin didn't return the hug, or
even lean in for it.

"We aren't even with my mother yet, what ever your talking about was just
your dream. Everything's fine now." Brian whispered to Justin. At the end of
his words, Justin leaned in, and sobbed into Brian's shoulder. The whole
time he thought it was reality, but it was just a dream.

"You and your mom kicked me out of the house, and you said you didn't love
me any more. I couldn't believe it."Justin cried into Brian's shoulder.

"That will never happen. We haven't even been dating a week yet, I won't end
it now." Brian pulled Justin tighter. "You have to get ready, we have to
leave soon, so we can get to the airport on time." Brian leaned out of the
hug, and held onto Justin's shoulders. "You gonna be okay?" Brian wiped the
tears out of Justin's eyes, and waited for an answer.

"Yeah, could you get me your sweatshirt and a pair of jeans." Brian got
Justin what he had asked for, and helped him slip them on.

"Alright, let's go, it will take at least an hour to get their, and we have
to be on the plane by 8." Brian knew they could make it in time, it was only
6:15, and they only needed the hour like he said, but he wanted to make sure
they were on time.

"Coming, just let me grab my suitcases." Justin picked up his duffle bag,
and went for his case.

"What do you think your doing?" Brian grabbed the suitcase, before Justin
could and ushered Justin out the door. "I don't think so mister, I'll be
doing all the work this week, you just relax." Justin didn't need any other
words of assurance, he was glad to get a week off. Some how he even managed
to walk down the stairs by himself.

The taxi ride to the airport was quiet. Justin and Brian didn't talk much,
except for the odd conversation.  The situation was the same inside the
airport. 45 minutes had passed as they sat waiting for the flight to board.
When the time finally came, Brian and Justin made there way through the
corridor.

"You know, I don't like to fly." Brian said with slight fear in his voice
and in his face.

"Finally something I can help you with." Justin laughed, grabbing Brians
hand as they sat in there first class seats. "Just relax and don't think
about it. Shut your eyes, and wait." Brian did as he was instructed. He did
not know it, but he dozed in and out of sleep still clutching Justin's hand.

"Please fasten your safety belts, we are now approaching the run way." A
male stewardess instructed the passengers to buckle up for the landing.
Justin didn't wake Brian, but did the buckle for him.

The plane landed and Justin woke Brian. "Bri, we're here. I told you you'd
make it." Justin laughed as Brian woke up and looked around.

"That was easy, thanks." Brian hugged Justin. "Now, um, lets go meet my
mom." The two worked through the terminal and got their luggage. Brian
carried both his and Justin's. They exited the airport and Brian saw his
mother standing by the family car. "Mom" Brian dropped the luggage and ran
towards his mother. Justin felt awkward standing alone, and slowly made his
way towards the hugging mother and son.

"And this must be Justin." Jackie hugged Justin. "I can tell because he's a
cutie." Jackie teased winking at Brian. Justin's face flushed with
embarrassment.

"Mom!" Brian warned his mother. "Let's get the luggage." Brian and his
mother walked over to the luggage and picked it up. After loading up, Jackie
and the boys headed into the car. Jackie drove, and Brian sat in the front.
Justin sat in the back alone.

"So, how have you been?" Brian broke the silence to ask his mother about the
times he had not seen her.

"Fine, but I want to know more about you Justin?" Brian flinched at his
mothers question.

"Sure, shoot." Justin didn't want to divulge his life story in one car ride
to his lover's mother, but he didn't want to be rude either.

"Well, if you don't mind me asking, why would something with such a
wonderful boyfriend like my son, try and kill himself." Jackie's question
was harsh, but to the point. She didn't want to bullshit around the topic,
she wanted the answer.

"Don't answer that." Brian said noticing Justin's shocked face. "He did it
before we met. He had alot going on with his band, and some of it's members.
I was there to pick up the pieces." Brian answered the question and smiled
at Justin.

"Oh, I see. What about the problems? Mind telling me what they are?" Brian
was pissed. He had told his mother that the problem was JC, but she still
asked.

"Knock it off." Brian screamed out to his mother. Jackie lurched up in shock
that her son would talk to her so disrespectively. Justin was shocked even
more, and let out a moan of fear. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be
rude, or scare you." His first reply was to his mother, and the second to
his lover.

"What do you mean scare him? Why is he afraid of you?" Jackie didn't know
that Justin had a very low fear factor, and was scared easily.

"I'm not, I just have a lot to get over." Justin answered the questions that
were directed towards his boyfriend.

"Like JC?" Something about the question didn't sit well with Brian.

"What do you mean, like JC? Of course JC, he has to get over the fact that
the jack ass hit him every day since he was 12, beat him for god sakes."
Brian couldn't understand his mother. She was usually nice and stayed out of
other's business, but she was not relenting on Justin.

"Oh, so he was an abusive boyfriend?" The next question was a shock to
Justin.

"He was never his boyfriend, Justin wouldn't date an abusive jackass." Brian
was defending his boyfriend. He knew that yelling was wrong, and hurt
Justin, but he had to get through to his mother. Justin in the back was
shaking. He didn't want to be in the car any more with the two.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that I was touching on bad ground. I just want to
know about my son's boyfriend. Is that so wrong?" Jackie said eying Justin,
hoping he would not have been offended. She would get no answer though.
Justin was curled up in a ball. After Jackie's final words, he felt the need
to crouch. "Is he okay?" Brian turned around after his mother's question.

"No, see what you did. Justin can't stand loud noise, especially yelling,
especially me yelling. He gets afraid easily, from small things, even me."
Brian crawled over the seat and sat down next to Justin's head. He pulled
Justin closer and Justin let his head fall down to Brian's lap. "Don't
worry, I told you she'd be nice, I promise she WILL be." Brian said eyeing
his mother angrily. "I promise, once we get back to the house you'll feel
better, you can take a nap first." Brian petted Justin's hair, stroking the
delicate curls with his fingers.

"Justin, I'm sorry. I had no idea that I was hurting you." Jackie spoke as
their destination grew closer by the second. The car screeched to a halt at
the front of Brian's home. Jackie opened the door and called for her husband
and Brian's brother. "You better get up, or your brother and father are
going to see you before you tell them." Jackie said through the window, and
went about unloading the car. Justin sat up and walked out of the car. Brian
followed to help his mother.

"Hey, bro, whose the kid?" James, Brian's older brother said approaching the
car.

"A friend from NSYNC. Be easy on him though, he's going through some shit
right now. Please, for me." Brian knew how James treated his friends. He was
the same way with Nick.

"Can't handle a little teasing, I got it, I'll go extra hard on him." James
laugh was shortly cut off by a slap.

"No you won't. You'll be nice to him, or there will be more slaps to the
back of your head, now help you brother, and where is your father anyways?"
Jackie warned her son.

"Dad's out back, he's making the burgers on the grill." James picked up two
of the suitcases, and headed towards the door following his mother. Brian
followed with one suitcase and Justin's duffle bag.

"Come on." Brian said calling for Justin. Justin stopped staring at the
house, and walked towards the door following Brian. Jackie and James were
already in the door by the time Justin and Brian made it to the porch steps.
"Everything will be fine, just let me explain to them, and they will
understand." Brian whispered to Justin as he entered the house. Justin
followed, shyly walking through the door.

"Justin could you help me upstairs for a minute." Jackie winked at Justin
and made a motion towards Brian.

"Yeah sure." Justin followed Brian's mother up the steps. Brian knew this
was his chance to explain. "What do you need?" Justin asked as he caught up
to Jackie.

"Nothing really, I just didn't want you down there while Brian told his
father and brother. They may need time to adjust, and Brian's father is a
loud man, and I understand now that you don't like that. I am sorry for
earlier you know." Jackie said wrapping an arm around Justin's shoulder.

"That's okay, if Brian needs me, I will help him out through this. I know it
will be hard when I tell my family too." Justin sighed, walking towards the
bed in the room Jackie had taken him too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE LIVING ROOM

"Dad, bro, I gotta talk to you guys. There's something I should tell you."
Brian spoke up interrupting his father's football game.

"Then let's go out back, I have to check on the burgers." Brian and his
father walked out of the door with James following. Justin and Jackie were
right upstairs, and although they didn't realize it, the window to the room
was open. Justin had been brought to the upstairs of the house to spare his
feelings in case of an arguement, but now he was just as close as Brian was.
"What is it you wanted to talk about?" Harold Litrell questioned his son, as
he flipped the burgers.

"Um, well, this is really hard to say, and I'm just gonna say it. I'm gay."
Brian didn't tell them about Justin yet. He wanted to wait until after this
conversation before he brought up his lover.

"What." James spit out his beer in shock. "Your what?" James was confused by
what his younger brother had just said. He didn't know if he was disgusted
or just confused.

"I'm gay, and to be honest with you I have a boyfriend too." Brian knew that
James would deduce Justin as the only suspect. Brian looked around the
patio. His father stopped flipping the burgers, and turned around to look at
his son.

"Well, when will your boyfriend come down and talk to us. If I'm gonna have
a gay son, I at least want to meet his first boyfriend. This is your first
isn't it?" Brian was shocked by his father's words. He could tell that his
father was adjusted yet, but he knew that his father would be able to handle
the news.

"I guess that's why I can't tease him huh?" James giggled shoving Brian.

"Yes it is, and you aren't." Jackie was standing in the back door way with
Justin. "We heard the conversation, and I am very proud of you son. You cut
to the point and got it out." Jackie walked towards Brian and hugged him.
Justin stood still, waiting for conversations to begin before he made his
way to a seat. He was caught off guard when Harold, Brian's father reached a
hand out for him.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Harold, Brian's dad." Justin took the hand and shook
it. He was not ready for such an open reaction.

"I'm Justin, your son's, um, Brian's.." Justin couldn't get his words out.
He didn't know how to say it to Brian's family.

"He's my boyfriend." Brian said grabbing Justin and pulling him over to one
of the seats. "Sit down, they aren't going to bite you." Justin sat next to
Jackie and James. He wondered why James hadn't said anything but shrugged it
off. He wasn't going to ruin the warm reception.

"So, how long have you and my son been dating?" Harold spoke up after
shutting the grill off and handing the plate of burgers to his wife.

"Um, not even a week actually, he helped me get through some tough times,
and it just went from there." Justin followed Brian into the house still
answer Harold, as they followed behind.

"We can discuss this over dinner. Jame's go help your mother with the food."
Harold comanded his eldest son into the house. James headed straight for the
kitchen, helping his mother set the table. After everyone was seated and the
food was laid out Justin thought of what a great life Brian had probably
had. Burgers, corn, french fries and salad awaited them for dinner. Brian
said grace, and the family began to eat.

"So, you said you had some tough times, anything we should worry about?"
Brian's father was bringing up the conversation where he had left off
outside.

"I don't think we should talk about it dear." Jackie nudged her husband
under the table. She didn't want Justin to fear the family.

"No, I might as well tell him now. He will find out sooner or later. I, um,
I had some personal problems, and I tried to kill myself." Justin didn't
want to waste time. He just wanted the family to know his past so it would
be out in the air. He wanted to make a clean start with the family, and the
best way to do it was to let his past known. "Oh, did you get the bottle?"
Justin didn't wait for anyone to question his past. He quickly asked Brian
the question to change the subject.

"Shit, I forgot."

"Watch your mouth young man, you are the table." Jackie said slapping Brian
on the back of the head.

"Sorry, but no I forgot them, can you get them here, or do you need the
prescription off the bottle." Brian hoped Justin could get them here. He
knew that he could help Justin most of the time, but with out the medication
Justin would not be a very happy person. His depression would kick in, and
he would not be so easily comforted by Brian.

"No, I need the prescription, or else I can't get them from another doctor."
Justin said taking a bite of his corn. "It doesn't matter though, it's only
a week. I'll last." Justin said continuing to eat the corn he had started
seconds earlier.

"What kind of prescription medicine do you take Justin?" James finally broke
his silence, he was intrigued to know what was so important that his brother
had forgotten.

"Um, anti-depressants." It was the first time any one in the room had been
notified of his drugs except for Brian.

"How did you try and kill yourself?" James asked another question putting
two and two together. "I didn't notice any slits on your wrist, or any marks
on your neck, so what?" James questions were hitting Justin heard.

"You don't have to answer him if you don't want." Brian said eyeing Justin's
distressed face.

"I overdosed on my pills. It was before I met Brian though." Justin said not
looking up from his plate. He hadn't even started to eat anything besides
his corn, and suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

"Oh, so your still taking them though?" Justin knew why he was feeling sick.
He couldn't take the questioning, but he knew he could last for a while
longer, until Brian's mother stood into to protest her oldest sons
questioning.

"Yeah, I am still depressed, besides Brian, I don't have much going for me
in my life." Justin said taking a bite of his burger. It was good, but not
good enough to quench Justin's attention away from the conversation at hand.

"What, you are a member of NSYNC, and you don't have anything good going for
yourself." James asked in shock. He didn't believe that someone so famous
would say something so trivial.

"James, would you like to be excused from the table?" Justin had expected
Brian's mother to step into the conversation sooner or later, but it was not
sooner or later. Brian's dad was the one yelling and James quickly stop his
questioning.

"Justin how do you like the corn? It's home grown you know, out back."
Jackie quickly changed the topic to the food that she had prepared.

"It's great, thank you." Justin was polite, not as polite as Brian, but none
the less polite. He wanted to make the first impression a memorable one. The
conversations between the family and Justin grew into small ones as Justin
and Jackie chatted about the food. Brian and his father talked about sports,
and James sat silently in his chair.

"James would you help me with the dishes?" Jackie broke James' silence.

"Why don't you get Justin too, he didn't mind talking about the food, maybe
he likes doing dishes too." James was being immature, but it was obvious he
was pissed.

"Get in the kitchen and help your mother." The loud bark sent James and
Brian both jumping. James mosied out of the room and headed towards the
kitchen. Justin was sent back into his seat at the loud uproar. Brian looked
over and noticed Justin slowly calm down. He sat back down and knew that
Justin would be fine.

"Do you like chocolate pie?" Brian's father looked towards Justin for his
answer.

"Yeah, it's one of my favorites actually." Justin was lying, but he did like
it. It was not one of his favorites, and he would gladly have accepted apple
or pumpkin more openly, but he didn't want to hurt the Litrell's feelings.

"Great, because Jackie made two." Justin got a look of disgust on his face,
but quickly wiped it off as he felt the eyes of the room on him. The pie was
served and every one but Justin had two peices. Justin had one, and felt
content with that. James once again helped clear the table, and was left in
the kitchen to do the dishes. The others were led into the living room by
Jackie.

"So, I grabbed a few movies to choose from. Armageddon or Deep Blue Sea."
Jackie read off the labels of the movies she held. Justin gave Brian a look
and then a laugh. "Is something funny, to I read one wrong or something."
Jackie said, in an almost embarrassed tone of voice.

"No, we just watched Armageddon the other day, that's all, but we fell
asleep, so let's watch that one." Brian said calming his mother down. Mrs.
Litrell looked towards her husband for a response. He shook his head and the
four plopped down around the room. Justin sat down on the couch, with Brian
next to him. Jackie and Harold each sat in chairs sitting opposite each
other. James hurrried in as the credits ended and the movie began. He
hesitantly took a seat next to Justin and settled himself in. The movie
progressed slowly and Brian had grabbed a blanket from the closet as the men
moved into space. He covered himself and the already sleeping Brian. James
was left uncovered and cold on the other side of the couch. James reached
over and lifted up the cover and took some for himself.

"Give that back." Brian teased pushing his brother.

"Oh you wanna go." James pushed his brother back, and then lunging over
Justin and pushing Brian off the couch, the two rolled on the ground
fighting, until James was ontop of Brian. Brian hadn't even noticed that
Justin had not only woke up, but left the room as well.

"Brian, maybe you should knock it off." Jackie said, waiting for Brian to
look around the room.

"Oh, shit." Brian said pushing his brother off him. "I'll go get him." Brian
started to walk away.

"Wait a sec bro, why'd he leave?" James wanted the answer before Brian
brought him back, he didn't want him to know that he was asking even more
questions of him.

"He's got a little fear, of fights and loud voices, it's from something that
haunts him from the past. Don't bring it up, please." Brian gave his brother
a warningful look as he walked out of the living room and up the steps
towards his old bed room. "You in their Justin...Justin." Brian said peeking
into the room, he saw no one, and headed towards the bathroom. He opened the
door and peeked in, he still saw nothing, and looked out the window. Behind
a large tree, Justin sat his head in his lap.

"Brian, where is he?" Jackie said noticing her son returning to the lower
level.

"Outside" Brian answered his mother, as he grabbed the blanket. James let it
go, and continued to stare at the screen. "I'll be back in a minute." Brian
ran out the door and headed towards the tree. He approached Justin from
behind, and wrapped the blanket around his silent lover. "You okay?" Brian
knew Justin was upset about the fight.

"Yeah, I just needed to be alone." Justin stood and began to walk back into
the house.

"Alright." He knew that it was not over. Justin was not happy, and he was
not okay. Brian could tell that Justin was upset over the fight, and
probably the whole day so far. "But what's really bothering you?" Brian
asked the question, waiting for a real answer.

"Your brothers not okay with us, I can tell, the looks, the smart remarks,
stealing the blanket from me, not you." Justin let out his feelings, and let
Brian know what he thought.

"He'll get used to it, you still have me, and I still like ya." Brian teased
kissing Justin quickly. Brian pulled Justin in to his arms and began the
walk towards the door. Justin wrapped his arm around Brian's shoulders too,
and kept up the pace.

"Movies over, you two should head up to bed now." Jackie said, ending in a
sort of odd voice, as she said bed.

"Alright, we'll see you in the morning." Brian kissed his mother good night,
and followed Justin up into their bedroom for the week. "Are you ready to ya
know, make love." Brian whispered into Justin half way up the steps.

"What? Not here, no way, not in your house." Justin didn't really answer the
question. He in no one let Brian know if he was ready yet, and Brian knew he
was avoiding it.

"Okay, I guess it is a bad idea, let's hit the hay, and talk this over
tomorrow. After I call the guys." Brian and Justin walked into the room, and
shut the door, night tooks it's toll and knocked the two out shortly after
they crawled into bed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 6 -- LOST AND FOUND

NEW YORK - THE HOTEL WHERE JUSTIN AND BRIAN WERE PREVIOUSLY STAYING

"Hey, I'm gonna go get Brian and see if he wants to go clubbing." Howie
called over to the others. The guys of BSB and NSYNC were going to go out to
a local club. JC and Lance were the only two not invited. "No answer, funny,
I didn't see them all day." Howie said walking back towards them. "Have you
guys seen them yet today?" After the group discussed they all came to the
same conclusion, no.

"Let's go check the front desk, maybe they saw them go some where." Kevin
suggested as the large group made there way to the elevator. It was finally
fixed, to late for when they really needed it though.

"Excuse me, but have you seen or heard from Brian Litrell or Justin
Timberlake with in the past 24 hours?" Joey was the first to make it to the
reception area.

"Um, hang on sir." The woman checked her computer record looking for the
names she had just heard. "Oh, yes, they left a message with me. Here you
go." She handed the note to Joey, and turned back to her work. Joey turned
around and read the note aloud.

THE NOTE

Dear guys,

Justin and I needed a break, away from the city, away from the noise, and
away from JC. We talked to management, and they gave us a week and a half
off. Have fun with out us. I took Justin some where I love. I know he'll
enjoy it. Kev, I'm gonna call you tomorrow morning, so be waiting. Oh and
Kevin, if you know where I'm talking about, please don't say anything, I
don't want to ruin the weekend.

                                       Love, Brian

END NOTE

"I can't believe it, they left." Joey finished the note and handed it to
Kevin. Kevin thought about Brian's last words, and then it snapped. "Got any
ideas where he may have taken him Kev?" Joey knew that by Kevin's looks that
he did.

"No, not really." Kevin lied and it was obvious, but the group still decided
to make quesses.

"Maybe he took him home, to meet his parents." Nick laughed. "Nah, his
parents don't even know he's gay yet." Nick joked again.

"Let's get going, there's no sense sitting around and waiting." AJ ushered
the guys out of the building and towards the door. How little Nick knew. He
was right all along, Justin was with Brian at his home in Kentucky, far away
from the busy life of NSYNC.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

JC AND LANCE'S ROOM

"Fuck yeah. Shittt, OHHHHHHHHHH." JC was screaming out in ecstasy. He had
never felt this way before, not out of all the times he had fucked Lance, or
even let Lance suck him off. "Harder, yessssssssssssssss, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Lance..........." JC felt himself coming close to losing his semen. Lance
kissed the back of JC's neck. He was no where close to ending this.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh,JJCCCCCCCCCCCC." Lance moved in and out of JC's ass faster and
faster. JC let himself go, and came all over his chest and arms. He had
never felt an orgasm so powerful with out some one else doing the work.
Lance quickly followed shooting a huge load up JC's ass. After the pants and
moans died down, Lance worked his way out of JC and let himself fall
backward.

"I told you that it would be great." Lance laughed at JC.

"Yeah, well this doesn't mean anything, I was just curious, I'm not gay." JC
realized what he had just done. He had let Lance probe his ass with his
massive dick.

"Don't worry, I won't tell if you won't." Lance teased, pulling the covers
over him. JC followed the panting kicked up again, this time JC was working
his way into Lance's ass.

"This is what I'm used to." JC moaned out his words as he forced his dick
into Lance. He fucked hard up and down, and with in a minute was cumming
again. It didn't take much for JC to get off, just something touching his
dick almost made him spurt out his juices.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

KANSAS - THE LITRELL HOUSE (early morning)

The Litrell house was quiet. Harold and Jackie Litrell lay asleep in their
bedroom, Jackie contently dreaming of her son's happiness. It would take
some getting used to, but she knew she would adjust. James was asleep in his
bed, it wasn't a peaceful sleep, but you couldn't tell from the outside of
expressions he made. A smile slowly crossed his face.

JAMES LITRELL'S DREAM

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh take my dick you little bitch......." James screamed out
as he fucked the young man underneath him. He was riding the boy hard, and
was at his limit. He came inside him, and moaned out in pleasure. He looked
down to see the boy he had been fucking. It was Justin. "Did you like that,
is my dick bigger then Brian's." James teased Justin slapping him across the
face.

"No," Justin screamed out in the dream. At the same time James screamed out
no in real life.

END OF DREAM

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" James' screams were heard all through out the house.
Justin awoke with a shock, stirring Brian.

"Everything okay babe." Brian asked with out looking up.

"You didn't hear that?" Justin asked looking down at Brian

"No, go back to sleep." Brian pulled Justin back down into a flat position,
and wrapped his arms around Justin. It was too late though, Justin was now
wide awake, and cold. He was in nothing but a pair of Brian's briefs. He
didn't feel like unpacking his suitcase the night earlier. He felt nervous
as he thought about what Brian's parents might think if they walked in on
Justin and Brian. Justin wearing a pair of there sons clothing.

"I'm gonna get dressed." Justin said trying to pull away.

"No your not, I like you like this, just go back to sleep, it's still
early." Brian didn't let Justin up. Justin reluctantly fell back. he nestled
his head up against Brian's chest, and tried to sleep again. With out even
trying, Justin managed to sleep again. Finally awakening again at 11 in the
afternoon. Brian was already gone, and he had laid a pair of pants out on
the bed for Justin. Justin began to get up when he heard footsteps. He
pounced back to cover up his briefs but was too late.

"I'm sorry, Justin, I'll give you a minute." Jackie Litrell turned and
walked out of the room after seeing Justin.

"Come in now." Justin had managed to hurrily throw on the pants and a shirt.
"Sorry about that, Brian should have shut the door." Justin said apologizing
for himself and Brian.

"That's okay, just wanted to see what was taking you so long. You know it's
11." Jackie smiled at Justin.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude and sleep in, I just got comfortable."
Justin sighed remembering how Brian wouldn't let him leave the bed. At least
he loves me, Justin played with the thought in his mind.

"OH, don't worry, you are here to relax, you don't have to get up at any
specific time. I just wanted to tell you that Brian is at the store for me,
and he'll be back in an hour or so." Jackie explained to Justin the absence
that was before unexplainable. "You can come downstairs and help yourself to
a lunch, if you liked?"

"Thanks, I think I will." The two walked down the steps towards the kitchen.
Jackie busied herself around the cabinets looking for food, while Justin
opened the refrigerator. "Do you have any cereal?"

"It's lunch time Justin, you shouldn't be eating cereal." The motherly tone
of voice Jackie used, made Justin smile. "But if you really want some, we
have some in the cabinet above the sink."

"Thanks"

"So, how are things out in Orlando, is your mother okay?" Justin jumped at
the mention of his mother. She had been busy with the girls she managed for
months now, and Justin had little chances to talk to her. She didn't even
know that he tried to kill himself.

"Um, she's been really busy lately, with her managment jobs." Before Justin
could relax the questions continued to come.

"Really, did she visit you in the hospital?"

"No, the guys couldn't get a hold of her. My bandmates, and you son and the
rest of the BSB were the only ones who visited."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I would have been there in a second if it were my
son." Jackie knew that the words she were saying would not really help out
the situation. "I would have been there in a second if it were you too, I
wouldn't leave my son's boyfriend alone in a cold hospital."

"I wasn't your son's boyfriend then, we didn't hookup until after we got
back to the hotel."

"I see, but still, I would have been there for you just as a friend. It had
to be something hard to go through, it isn't always that a famous singer,
and cutie tries to kill himself. I'm glad my son was there for you."

"I went through a lot, a lot. I didn't have much to go for, but then Brian
came into the picture. He really picked me up out of the gutter, and he's
been there for me sense."

"I'm glad to hear that. I know he is a good boy, and I know that he would do
anything for someone he loves." Jackie smiled taking a seat next to Justin
at the kitchen table.  "He'd risk his life for you Justin, he'd taking a
beating for you, and I can tell. Call it mother's intuition." Brian's mother
teased Justin with her last words. Justin felt more at ease with Brian's
mother then any one else in the family.

"I would do the same, and he already has, he takes a beating everytime I do.
He feels it when I am the one who gets hurt." The conversation was turning
into a long one. Justin was letting out his soul to Jackie Litrell, and he
wasn't sure why. But it felt good.

"I can't begin to understand what you went through, but I'm sure once Brian
stepped in, it ended." Jackie didn't know how much of what Justin took from
JC. She had no idea that the beatings continued even with Brian there.
"Didn't they?"

"Not really, it's still there, even stronger at times, and the pain is
unbearable, for me, and for Brian, but I'm coping step by step." Justin's
words flowed from his mouth, as he slowly ate his cereal.

"I hope you and him can be happy, with out the problems, but at least you
are coping."

"I am coping, and I am trying to come to a decision. I have something hard
to choose, and I can't let Brian help me on it." Justin's words came as a
shock to Jackie. Even Justin was unsure of what he would do, and what his
choose would ultimately be.

"What do you mean a decision? Justin you have to tell me, if something is
bothering you and you can't turn to Brian, you have to tell someone, and I
can be that someone."

"I have to make a decision between whether to stay with NSYNC, or quit the
music industry." Jackie dropped her sandwich, her eyes glazed back and she
sat up in shock.

"Justin, you have to tell Brian, you have to let him help you. He'll stand
firm behind any decision you make and you know it."

"Of course I will, I always back you up babe." Brian walked into the room
carrying a couple of grocery bags. He planted a kiss on his mother's cheek,
and a small peck on his boyfriend. "But what am I backing you up?" Brian
teased a laugh out of himself.

"I think Justin and you need to talk, maybe I should leave." Jackie Litrell
stood from the table, and pushed her seat out.

"No, you don't have to, I'd like it if you would stay." Justin spoke up
before she could leave the room. "Brian, I am thinking about leaving NSYNC."
Brian dropped the bags of food onto the table, sending Justin's cereal bowl
crashing to the floor. The cereal spattered to the ground, as the bowl
cracked into pieces.

"Brian, be more careful." Jackie grabbed a towel and bent down to wipe up
the milk. "Let him explain himself." Brian turned towards Justin for an
answer.

"I can't be in that situation any more, not without you, I wanna be on the
tours with you and the guys. I'm going to leave NSYNC." Justin didn't say
much to clarify his earlier answer. He just restated it, with some details
to support his decision.

"Um, uhhhh, I don't know what to say. It's a lot to give up Justin, just for
me." Brian bent down to help his mother with the glass.

"Be careful Brian, don't cut yourself." His mother hissed at him as she
carefully picked up the small glass chunks.

"I know, but I need you. What happens when our tours seperate? I won't see
you for months. I know I can't handle that, I know you can't either. I am
leaving the group."  Brian didn't look up, he stayed focused on the shards
of glass he was picking up.

"I'll back you up, but you have to tell the guys when I call Kevin, and you
have to tell JC." Even Brian's mother looked at Brian in shock. She didn't
know the whole story, but she knew that Justin had bad pasts with JC, and
for Brian to demand that his lover make a phone call to the man that beat
him, was unthinkable.

"Why him, why not Joey?" Justin bent down to help.

"Because you know that JC is in charge, he's the one that runs the show in
your camp, he is the one you have to tell." The glass was slowly
disappearing into the trash as the cereal still remained on the floor. "I'm
gonna call Kevin now, when I'm done I'll let you talk to JC." Brian walked
over the room.  Justin followed as fast he could to keep up with Brian. They
headed towards the bedroom and closed the door.

"Hello. Kevin, this is Brian."

"Hey, cuz, what's up? How's your little break away?"

"Great, well alright, I just wanted you to know that we are fine, and we got
here okay."

"How are your parents, and James?"

"There doing good, they were really understanding."

"You told them about you and Justin?"

"Yeah, my mom on the phone, and my dad and bro when we got here. Dad and Mom
are fine with it, but James may need some more time to get adjusted."

"That's cool, just let him be alone for a while, he'll get used to it."

"I know, but um, could you put on JC, Justin needs to talk to him."

"What? You are actually going to let JC talk to Justin. Are you nuts?"

"Kev, I need to talk to him, just get him please." Kevin did not realize
that his words were not heard by Brian. Brian had already handed the phone
to Justin.

"Sure, but why?"

"Because I have to tell him something, and it's important."

"Oh, alright, hang on." Kevin handed the phone around the table, the group
was at breakfast and JC was at the opposite end of the table.

"What, for me?" JC joked as he grabbed the phone from Lance's hands. "Yeah?"
JC was shocked when he heard Justin's voice on the other end.

"I'm leaving the group." Justin didn't bull shit around the main point. He
wanted to tell JC and get off the phone.

"What, your what?" JC almost choked on his lunch. The table looked up to see
what was going on and JC fell back into his conversation.

"I'm leaving the group."  Justin waited for answer, but instead got a beep.
"He hung up." Justin shut the phone and sat down next to Brian. "It was the
right decision, I had to do it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

BACK AT THE HOTEL IN NEW YORK

"What did he have to say?" Lance was the first to ask the question that was
on every one's mind.

"He quit, he quit." JC stuttered out the words in shock. "He quit NSYNC."

"What?" Chris spit his drink out onto AJ.

"Watch it dude." AJ barked back at Chris's actions.

"Sorry, but it's a little shocking to hear that the kid that pays your
bills, just quit your band."

"He's not just the kid that payed your bills, he's a fucking person. He's
got feelings, just like the rest of you. And you and Joey's attempts were
too little to late. You fucked up when you started this band, and now you
gotta pay." Kevin Richardson was now standing as he delivered his speech. As
he finished the rest of the Backstreet Boys stood. "We are leaving the
hotel, and the tour isn't kicking back up. You guys are on your own. See
what you can do with out him, or us."

Kevin walked away from the table and out the doors, he was followed by the
three bandmates that were still with them. SYNC, sat alone. With out Justin
they weren't NSYNC, and without Justin they weren't a band. None of them
could eat, not even JC or Lance. It was over, there careers were over, and
Justin was free.

"What are we going to do? We're done, we're done." Joey couldn't believe the
actions that had just taken place.

"Yeah, but not without a final bang. If we're going down, so are the
Backstreet Boys, and Justin." Even JC was shocked by Lance's words. He had
never heard Lance speak so powerfully. "Justin screwed us, so now we screw
him. We tell the press everything. His suicide attempt, his forbidden love
with Brian. He goes down, and he takes Brian and the Backstreet Boys with
him."

"Shit, you sneaky bitch." JC laughed hugging Lance. "I'm in." After a few
minutes of thought, both Joey and Chris agreed. The heads of the four
huddled, as Kevin and his bandmates checked out of the hotel.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin was now the only Backstreet Boy left in the hotel. He was checking out
at the desk, as the others piled into there limo. He didn't know where they
were heading, but a good idea was probably Kentucky. To make sure Justin was
okay, and to get away.

"So, you know where they are, don't you?" Kevin pulled himself into the
limo, and was quickly interrogated.

"Yeah, they are back home, with Brian's family. Brian told his parents
everything, and they are cool with it."

"Holy shit, I never thought he'd tell his parents." Nick was taken aback by
Kevin's words.

"He did, and he is happy. We aren't going to ruin that, we are just going to
find out the whole story behind Justin quitting, and then we will just relax
at my place." Kevin let the others know his plans for the week. "I'll call
management tomorrow, and we can let them know the joint tour is off."

The limo drove slowly closer and closer towards the air port. Kevin would
book them the soonest flights possible, and the group would enjoy there time
in the Air Port gift shops or restaruants.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the hotel cafe, the former men of NSYNC, were still in a huddle. JC
pulled out and stood up. "TRL tomorrow, we break the world's heart. And we
crush Justin's last pieces." He put his hand out in front of the others, one
by one the others piled their hands on top of his, and shouted out in
unison. "SYNC" The N was left out on purpose. JC was ready for his final
conquest, the destruction of Justin's final happiness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The limo ride was over and the plane ride scheduled. Kevin and his friends
had 45 minutes before their plane took off. Nick and Howie headed over to an
arcade, and AJ sat down next to Kevin. "What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know, Justin I guess." Kevin was surprised with his own words. He
didn't realize that he had said it, until he had said it.

"What do you mean, Justin?" AJ was unsure of how Kevin had replied to his
question.

"I mean, what's he going to do? He's going to tour with us obviosly, but...I
just don't know." Kevin was for the first time in his life, really
speechless. He had managed to stay strong during Brian's heart surgery,
during Justin's suicide attempt, but this left him speechless. He felt
helpless.

"I know what you mean. I can't even begin to comprehend the reasons Justin
had for quitting, but it was his decision, and I'm glad he made it. He isn't
alone any more, and now he has 5 friends who will be great to him."

"Still, what are we going to do? We are going to have to look out for a 19
year old kid on all of the tours, at practices, at hotels, and plus we have
to keep it a secret from the press. It was hard enough when Brian came out,
and now we have Justin and him dating." AJ listened intently to Kevin's
words. Kevin had taken a while to get use to Brian's sexuality, but he had
coped with it, and still loved his cousin in the end. But Kevin always had
his own worries. Worries that he couldn't shake, he always worried about
getting caught, and then his career would be over.

"I know, but we'll get used to it. Brian loves him, I love him like a bro,
and the others do to." AJ couldn't say much more. He tried to convince Kevin
as best as he could that everything would be okay.

"Flight 743 to Kentucky is now boarding." The announcers squeaked out the
flight number, and Kevin stood. AJ followed him as Howie and Nick ran from
the arcade to get to the terminal.

"Ready to go?" Howie looked around for his friends to answer. No answers
came from anyone, so Howie silenced himself. The four men boarded the plane
and took there seats. They were in first class, but the guys didn't feel
special, not today. They all felt lost. There tour was cancelled, and they
had to fly back to Kevin and Brian's home town to find out when Justin was
leaving his band. The flight would be a long and quiet one for the guys.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

BACK IN KANSAS

It had been an 3 hours since Justin's phone call to JC. Kevin and the others
from the Backstreet Boys were on there way to Kansas, with out Brian's
knowledge. JC and Lance were on the phone with there management, and MTV
discussing the plan they had already made. In Kansas, Justin and Brian were
sitting down for dinner at the Litrell house.

"So, your quitting your band?" Harold Litrell started a family discussion
after grace was said.

"Yes, I thought it would be best, for myself, and my relationship." Brian
looked up at Justin in puzzlement. On his mind he knew it was a good
decision, but he couldn't help but feel that it was done just because of
him.

"Well, if that is your decision, I am sure that you thought about it, and I
know Brian will be there behind you 100%." A smiled crossed Justin's face as
Brian's father spoke his words of wisdom. "You found a great boy in my son."
Brian was alerted as his father slapped him on the back in approval. Justin
kept up his smile, to show Brian's father that he agreed. Justin was shaken
out of his happiness, as a knock came on the door. Mrs. Litrell stood and
made her way to the door.

"Oh, hello, Ann." Jackie backed into the house, letting Kevin's mother enter
into the house.

"Have you heard from Kevin, the hotel says he checked out this morning with
the rest of the guys?"

"No, but Brian is here. He left two days ago and he talked to Kevin this
morning." Jackie was slightly becoming worried, since Brian had made no
mention of Kevin leaving the hotel.

"May I speak to him?"

"Yes, he's in the dining room eating dinner. Would you like something to
eat?" Jackie didn't want to let her sister see her fear. She knew that she
was worried over Kevin, and she had to stay strong for her sister's sake.

"Um, no, I can't stay long, I just need to talk to him." Ann walked into the
house and headed straight towards the dining room. "Brian, could I talk to
you for a minute?" Brian turned his attention away from his meal to see his
aunt standing in the hall.

"Yeah aunt Ann." Brian excused himself from the table and took his aunt into
the living room and sat her down on the couch. "What is it?"

"I haven't heard from Kevin today, and the hotel said he checked out this
afternoon around 2 o'clock. Have you talked to him since then?" Brian tried
to recollect the time he had called Kevin, and then realized why it made
sense.

"Actually, that's right after Justin talked to JC. And about 15 minutes
after I talked to Kevin. I think I might know what he's doing. I think he's
coming back here." Brian's words quickly comforted his aunt.

"Oh, thank you Brian. I was so worried, I hadn't heard from him or any of
the guys, and it's just not like him to leave unexpectedly, you know that.
But why are you here with out them?"

"Actually, me and my friend Justin had to get away from the band life, and
we came here for a visit."

"I see, was that Justin Timberlake of the boy band NSYNC you are talking
about?" Brian's aunt teased like she was a groupie.

"Yeah, but um, that was Justin Timber former member of boy band NSYNC. He
quit this afternoon, around 2."

"Why? Does that have to do with why Kevin is coming out here?"

"I think it does have something to with Kevin coming back. But I'm sure he
is bringing every body with him. As for the reason why, well he has a lot of
problems with his bandmates, and well he wanted to be with me when I tour."
Brian didn't actually let out the secret of his relationship with Justin to
his aunt yet.

"Oh, well I will be happy to see every one. It's been so long since you boys
visited. But why does he want to be with you on tour?" Ann smiled at her
nephew with love.

"We are kinda boyfriends now." Brian laughed, hoping his aunt would do the
same, but she did not.

"Really, do the guys know? Does your brother know? Do your parents know?"
Ann's questions were floating out one after another.

"Yeah, they all know. It's a long story, I'll let Kevin tell you it when he
gets back. My best bet would be to expect them later on tonight." Brian
stood and walked his aunt to the door. He kissed her goodbye, and went back
to the table.

"So, is your aunt alright now?" Harold spoke up from the end of the table,
as Brian took his seat again.

"She's fine, I told her where Kevin was, and she's fine."

"Where is Kevin?" Justin didn't know Kevin's behavior, and didn't know that
Kevin and the guys were on there way towards his peaceful get away.

"Um, actually right now, he's probably some where over the US. Heading here,
and probably landing around 8." Brian laughed out his words. Justin looked
up in amazement.

"What? How'd you know?" Justin was stunned by Brian's guess.

"I don't, I just know Kevin. And if I'm right, he hopped a plane as soon as
we got off the phone, and brought the guys with him." Brian smirked
realizing how good he was.

"I guess our vacation away from them is over." Justin sulked his head down.

"Don't be ridiculous. No one is staying here but you two. I will make sure
your time away is still time away." Jackie said smiling at Justin. Justin
looked up smiling too. "Kevin knows my wrath, he won't dare ruin your
vacation." The last joke made Justin laugh.

"Thanks." Justin smiled over towards Brian's mother.

"Can we be excused" Brian grabbed Justin's hand and headed towards the
living room. He and Justin both sat down, and Brian leaned in. He pulled
Justin's head close to him, and brought his lips up to Justin's. There lips
met, Brian's tongue found it's way into Justin's mouth, and the tongues of
the lovers danced around each other. Justin's moans were cut short by
Brian's droning mouth. "I love you." Brian pulled out Justin's mouth and
whispered the loving words.

"I love you too." Justin was pulled to his feet as the two walked back
towards the dining room. Justin was in a trance of happiness as he sat down.

"What was that about?" Jackie looked over towards Justin, but when she saw
his face she turned her attention towards Brian.

"Um, I had to show my boyfriend how much I loved him. And it wouldn't have
been appropriate at the dinner table." Brian snickered. His mother too felt
a smile cross her face.

"Well, I can tell some one liked it." Justin sat still, with a smile across
his face. He didn't even hear Jackie's words, as he stared at Brian.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE PLANE

"So, how much longer do you think we have?" Howie broke the groups silence,
as he turned around to see what Kevin and AJ were doing.  He was sitting in
front of them with Nick, but Nick was asleep.

"Um, I think about an hour and a half." Kevin was trying to sleep, but
managed to answer Howie's question. Howie turned around noticing Kevin's
shut eyes. AJ was already asleep as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

KENTUCKY

"Huh" It had been a good 5 minutes since Jackie and Brian had ended their
conversation. Justin was still in his stare, with the same smile on his
face.

"Glad to see you made it back to us." Jackie smiled at her son's comments.
Brian patted Justin on the back. Harold had already left the table and James
was standing.

"Yeah, you haven't showed us any signs of life for five minutes." James
joked as he walked out of the room towards the kitchen. Justin blushed as
Brian stood.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something." The smile was still on
Justin's face as he stood with his plate. Brian grabbed the plate from
Justin and went off towards the kitchen.

"You really do love him." A smile crossed the mother's face. She was happy
that her son had found true love, whether it be with a woman or a man, she
was happy with the fact that her son was happy.

"Yeah, I do." Jackie laughed after noticing that Justin's smile didn't leave
his face. "Come on, let's go help them in the kitchen." Jackie walked out of
the room, and Justin shook himself and followed her. Brian and James were
loading the dish washer, and Harold was no where to be seen.

"Where did your father go?"

"I don't know, I guess the living room." James answered for himself and
Brian.

"Just like him, never helping out in the kitchen." Brian teased his mother.

"Come in here for a second." Brian's father yelled as the others rushed into
the living room.

On the screen of the tv, was Jon Norris of MTV News. He was standing in
front of the MTV studios with the fans.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

MTV - JON NORRIS SEGMENT

"Well, tomorrow on TRL we will have the top ten, news on NSYNC with special
guests JC Chasez, Lance Bass, Joey Fatone, and Chris Kirkpatrick. Justin
Timberlake will be surprisingly absent. The boys have told he higher ups of
the company that the information they have will lead to the future of both
NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys careers."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian's father clicked off the tv, and looked up at his son and Justin.
Justin's smile was now faded, his face was white, as was Brian's. Justin
sank down into one of the chairs, as the reality sank into his head.

"They wouldn't say anything, would they?" Brian didn't know much about the
guys of NSYNC. He had met them a few times, but not enough to know what they
would do in times of desperation.

"They would." Justin shook as he answered the question, but no tears flowed
from his eyes. He couldn't cry any more, he couldn't shed tears for them any
more. "They will, that's why there gonna do TRL, they're gonna say
everything. I shouldn't have quit, now they're going to ruin your career
too." Brian couldn't understand what Justin was saying. He was still in
amazement that he was going to be exposed as a man with a boyfriend.

"It will all work out in the end. Your fans will understand, you still have
a band." James comforted his brother pulling him into a hug. "They aren't
going to desert you."

"I know, but I don't know what to do now. What to say?" Justin didn't look
up at Brian. He didn't want to look him in the eyes. No one in the room
talked after Brian's words. Tears didn't fall in the house though, Justin
held strong, and Brian did too. The silence was broken when Brian's cell
phone rang. "Hello... Oh hey Kev, yeah we can pick you up in twenty
minutes." Brian walked out of the room and grabbed his and Justin's coat.
"We'll be back in an hour or so, we gotta pick up Kevin and the guys." Brian
pulled Justin out of the door and forced him in the car. Justin could barely
move let alone speak. The car ride to the airport was quiet as was the walk
into meet Kevin.

"Hey, we need to talk." Kevin rushed over to Brian. Justin was a good
distance away. Howie and AJ ran to keep up with Kevin, as Nick slowly headed
towards them after just being woken up.

"Yeah, we really do, but let's talk in the car." Brian helped the guys with
there stuff. Even Nick managed to pass Justin on the walk back to the car.
All the luggage was packed into the back of the car, and the 6 guys crammed
into the vehicle. Brian driving, and Kevin in the passenger seat. Justin sat
in the back practically on AJ's lap.

"Alright, let's talk. We are off  the tour, and we are heading out on our
own in a while, JC and them are still in New York so we don't have to worry
about them any more." Brian had worried that Kevin would be angered by
Justin's actions, but he was relieved that Kevin wasn't.

"That's great, but we still have one big problem. Remember that time at the
restaraunt when we came close to getting caught as being gay?" Brian didn't
know how to break it to his cousin and the others.

"Yeah, what's your point." Kevin didn't like to remember the night. He had
hurt Justin accidently and didn't want to relive it again.

"Well, we don't have a chance of getting out of it this time. We just caught
MTV, and the guys of NSYNC are going on TRL tomorrow. Justin thinks there
going to tell every one about me and him." Brian didn't take his focus off
the road. He continued to look into the darkness.

"What?" AJ almost threw Justin off him as he jumped from his seat. "Shit,
when?"

"Tomorrow on TRL, John Norris said they had a major announcment." Brian
answered the group, but the rest of the car ride was silent. AJ wouldn't let
Justin back on the seat, so Justin stayed seated on the floor, uncomfortable
but at least seated. The guys were dropped off at Kevin's house and Justin
climbed into the front.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault, if you want to break up with me, then
everything they say won't be true. We won't be dating, so it will all be a
lie." Justin didn't know why he said it, but he did. He didn't cry either.

"I would never dump you over this. We will have to take it in stride. If
they let it out, then we will have a press conference too, but we will clear
everything up, and ignore any press we get." Brian leaned over and kissed
his lover on the cheek. "I love you, and if the whole world knows it, I will
still love you."

"I love you too." The car ride went quiet after Justin's words. Brian drove
down the rides silently. He pulled up the house and he and Justin walked up
to the porch.

"Let's go in, head upstairs, and get showers, after that we sleep and wait
until tomorrow." Brian leaned in and kissed Justin on the forehead. The two
walked in and headed straight up the steps. They got there showers and fell
asleep waiting for the next day.

The next day went by quick, as the guys of the BSB made there way to the
house of the Litrell's. The living room was crowded as the clock struck 3.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

TRL on MTV

"Welcome to Wednesday's Total Request Live. Today we are going to start the
show off with special guests, the guys that put the SYNC in NSYNC, JC, Joey,
Lance, and Chris."

The fans went wild as Carson introduced the guys. They walked out from the
back and sat down on the stools that awaited them.

"So, I hear you guys have big news from us, mind telling us what it is?"
Carson cut straight to the point, looking at JC for an answer.

"Well, NSYNC is officially over. Justin Timberlake quit the group the other
day."

Shock and cries filled the building as the young girls were crushed by the
blow.

"Our tour was stopped because Justin tried to kill himself." Joey remembered
his rehearsed line and spoke it with confidence.

"You guys, are even going to try and keep the group going?" Carson couldn't
help but smirk at the end of there reign. He always had been jealous of the
groups fame.

"There never really was a group, it was always us and then Justin. For the
past week he's been off with his lover doing who knows what." JC smiled
after he finished. He knew that Carson's next question would be that of who
was Justin's lover.

"Who's Justin dating then?"

JC's smiled widened, he was exactly right in his thinking. Carson couldn't
resist his curiosity, and fell right into the plan that JC had created a day
earlier.

"Funny you should ask, it happens to do with some one else on the tour." JC
knew that Carson's first guess would be Brittany Spears who had been
scheduled to open for the guys once they made there first tour date in San
Fransisco.

"So, the rumors are true and Justin is dating pop queen Brittany Spears?"

"No, not even close, Justin is dating Brian Litrell of the Backstreet Boys.
If you want to find them, you can call Brian's house in Kentucky, that's
where you'll find all the Backstreet Boys, and Justin." Chris laughed. The
laugh was the last thing heard from the Litrell living room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian hit the power button and watch the tv screen fade to black. He looked
up and around the room. Justin sat motionless, and so did Kevin. AJ and
Howie had anger in there eyes, and Nick had a look of sadness in his eyes.
His parents and brother all sat motionless next to Justin. Silence enveloped
the room, and no one dared to break it.

The press would by now be sending out special edition papers, the tabloids
would have there new scoop, and news stations would be preparing to report
the breaking news on the 5 o'clock news briefs. The secret was out, and now
the aftermath would follow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

**This chapter is held off with a cliffhanger. What will the Backstreet Boys
and Justin do? Will they talk to the press, will they go into hiding? I
don't know, you tell me. Tell me what you think about the storyline. If I
get enough responses, I could very well use alot of your ideas.**

**Do you think the fans will understand? Do you think the Backstreet Boys
will last?**

**Thanks for the support so far. I just wanna thank the few people that have
e-mailed me. I am going to keep up the good work, and I hope that I continue
to get e-mails. Even the bad ones help me.**