Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 21:25:02 -0400 (EDT)
From: John Smith <spifty214@email.com>
Subject: Lonely Lance Chapter 11 (boybands)

HEY!  Well, this was supposed to be written on Tuesday night, however, due
to uncontrollable circumstances I was unable to write.  I live in Michigan
and I don't know if any of you do or not.  Anyway we have had storms roll
through here like everyday this week.  I didn't have any electricity for
most of this week.  It sucked.  No electricity means no computer.  A
tornado touched down like a mile from my house.  So I thought I was gonna
die Tuesday night.  I didn't though :)

Ok, so about last chapter.  A lot of good e-mails.  Thanks.  Yes I am sorry
they are sad.  It will get happier though.  Even though it is sad I have
put in some happy things.  I want to suggest three stories to read...Rob
and Lance...Studio in the Country...Lance in Shining Armour.  All extremely
good stories.  I love them!  Lance in Shining Armour is finished though.
So ya don't have to wait for new installments.  Anywho...This header isn't
gonna be as long as most.  I want to finish typing in two and a half hours.
Hopefully I can do it.  So here we go...one more time.....

LEGAL: I make no claims to the sexuality of any member of `N Sync or anyone
else. This is completely fictional. If you are under 18 or if it is illegal
for you to read this then just go away. This story has homosexual themes
and sexual situations in it.

I DON'T HAVE TO PEE TODAY!!!

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Lonely Lance...Chapter 11

"Everything is gonna be ok Steve." Lance said as he reached for Steve's
hand and held it. Steve complied and held back.

They rode to the airport in silence.  They held back tears the whole time
they were in the cab.  They didn't want to cry in front of the cab driver.
They arrived at the airport at 7:30.  By the time they picked up their
tickets, checked their luggage and went through security they had no time
left and headed for the gate.  They had first class tickets and had no
trouble getting on the plane.  It took off at eight as scheduled.  Steve
and Lance were exhausted from the emotional day they had so far.  The
flight attendant gave them a blanket and they covered themselves with it.
Lance again took Steve's hand in his and held it while they slept.  They
slept for three and a half hours and were awoken by a flight attendant
telling them that they were going to land in fifteen minutes.

"Are you ok Steve?" Lance asked looking over at Steve as he let go of
Steve's hand.

"Yeah, I am fine." Steve said looking at his feet.

"Alright, I am just checking." Lance said.  He knew Steve wasn't ok, but he
couldn't make a scene.  The last thing they needed was for Lance to be
recognized.  They had no trouble in Orlando.  Hopefully since it was so
late they wouldn't have any trouble in Detroit either.  At 11:50 a message
came over the plane.

"We will be touching down at Detroit Metropolitan Airport in ten minutes.
Please buckle your seatbelts, store all carry-on luggage in the overhead
compartment, and put your tray table in their upright positions.  We would
like to thank you for flying Northwest Airlines and hope to see you again
soon." The flight attendant said.  They started their decent and were off
the plane at 12:10.  After picking up luggage they were out of the airport
at 12:30.  There was a man waiting at the gate that had a sign that said
"Porter."  He lead Steve and Lance to the Limo.  The luggage was Loaded in
and they were off.  They sat in the car in silence as they headed for the
hotel.  Lance took out his cell phone and handed it to Steve.

"Steve, you should call your dad and tell him you are in."  Lance said to
Steve.

"Ok, Thanks."  Steve said as he dialed his dads number.  He pressed send
and put the phone to his ear.  After two rings his dad picked up.

- "Hello." Steve's dad said.

- "Hi dad, It's Steve." Steve said calmly.

- "Hi son, how are you doing?"

- "I am ok, we just got off the plane and we are on our way to the hotel
right now."

- "OK, you really made it here fast.  Do you think you could do me a favor
Stevie?"

- "Sure dad."

- "Well I was going through some of your mother's things today and she has
an envelope with a letter inside and your name on the envelope.  Do you
think before you go to the hotel you could pick it up?"

- "Yeah, I can."

- "Thank you.  So I will see you in a little while then?"

- "Yup, I will see you in a few.  I am gonna let ya go now, I am on Lance's
phone right now."

- "Steve?"

- "Yeah dad?"

- "Are you and Lance together?"

- "No dad, we are just friends."

- "OK, I was just wondering.  I am sorry."

- "No it's ok Dad, actually, I kinda wish we were, but what can I do?"

- "I understand.  Well I won't keep you any longer.  See you in a few."

- "Bye Bye Dad." Steve hung up the phone and gave it back to Lance.  Lance
took it back and then opened his mouth to ask Steve something but was
interrupted by Steve.

"We need to go to my parent's house tonight before we go to the hotel.  He
said I have to pick up something.  Is that ok?" Steve asked.

"Yeah that is fine.  I will tell the driver."  Lance picked up a phone that
was connected to the driver and told him what to do.  He asked Steve for
the address and they were on their way.  At 1:15 am they were at Steve's
parents house.

"I will only be a second." Steve said as the driver opened the door.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Lance asked.

"Nah it's ok.  I just have to get this.  I will be right back." Steve said.

"Ok." Lance said as Steve got out of the car and the driver closed the
door.  At 1:20 Steve came back out to the car.  He was in tears.  He got in
the car and the driver pulled off to the hotel.  Not a word was said
between Steve and Lance.  Lance pulled Steve into his arms and held them
the whole way to the Hotel.  They made it to the hotel at 2:00.  They had
no trouble checking in and got a room on the fifty fifth floor.  They got
in the room and turned on a Lamp.  Their luggage followed them in and they
tipped the person who brought in the luggage.  The door closed and they sat
on the end of the bed.

"My mom wrote me this letter.  I want you to read it with me ok?  I haven't
read it yet and I don't want to read it alone." Steve said.

"Ok. I will read it with you." Lance said as Steve started opening the
envelope.  The note was written in his mother's handwriting.  Before Steve
could even start reading it he started crying at the sight of his mothers
handwriting.

"I-I can't read it." Steve said handing the letter to Lance.  Lance wrapped
his arm around Steve and he buried his head into Lance's shoulder.

"I will read it to you ok?" Lance said teary eyed.

"OK." Steve said.  They broke their embrace and Lance started reading.

"Ok, here goes Steve, the date says it was written on Friday.  Ok...

	Stevie,

Hey you!  I just want to tell you how much I love you and how proud of you
I am.  If you are reading this then I have passed away.  I am sorry I had
to leave you like this. Don't worry though I am ok.  There was something I
never told you.  Mostly because I know how much you worry, and also because
I know this hurts and I never wanted to hurt you.  About 6 months ago I
went to the doctors because I kept getting headaches.  They took an x-ray
of my brain and a cat scan.  It showed that I have a tumor.  There was
nothing that they could do.  It had gone and was scattered all over.  They
offered to operate and try to remove it but they warned that it probably
wouldn't be successful.  So I decided that I would just enjoy the last few
months I have left and not worry about it.

I am writing this now because I know my time is short now.  I am in no pain
though.  They have given me medicine that makes me feel no pain.  I want to
say a few things to you.  First of all, I love you with all my heart and
soul.  This is not something I wanted to happen but it happened and there
is nothing anyone could do about it.  I have accepted that and I hope that
you will too.  I have no regrets.  I have lived a fulfilling life.  I want
you to be happy.  I want you to have as good of a life as I did.  I know
there is someone out there for you.  I know you will find him.  I have a
feeling that you already have.  Just be yourself and stand up for who you
are.  It's time for you to fly, and have a great life.  I know how hard it
has been for you so far.  It will get better.  You have me up there now
looking down on you.  I will always be here if you need me.  This isn't
good bye, good bye is forever.  This is just I will see you later.

I have seen you get skinned knees.  I was there when you broke your arm in
the fifth grade.  I was there when you graduated high school.  I was there
when you graduated college.  I was there when you went to prom and you
ripped your pants two hours before you had to leave.  These are memories
that I cherish.  I will never forget you.  I can see you right now and I
know the pain you feel.  I love you.  I will always love you.  I am going
to miss you.  I will see you later.

	Love always,
	Mom.

That's it." Lance said as Steve started crying again. Lance couldn't hold
back and started crying as well.  He set the letter on the night stand and
shut the lamp off.  He held Steve as Steve held him.  Lance started singing
to Steve...


	Smile though your heart is aching
	Smile even though it's breaking
	When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
	If you smile through your fear and sorrow
	Smile and maybe tomorrow
	You'll see the sun come shining through for you 

	Light up your face with gladness
	Hide every trace of sadness
	Although a tear may be ever so near
	That's the time you must keep on trying
	Smile, what's the use of crying?
	You'll find that life is still worthwhile
	If you just smile

	That's the time you must keep on trying
	Smile, what's the use of crying?
	You'll find that life is still worthwhile
	If you just smile...

They fell asleep in each others arms.  Making each other feel safe, making
each other feel warm, making each other feel loved...

TBC...

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Ok well there it is.  Kind of short, I know.  On Saturday I am going to
write a long ass one and then post it.  So expect chapter 12 Saturday
night. This was an emotional chapter for me to write.  I cried while
writing it.  Sorry.  I know I said this one wasn't gonna be sad but next
one will have a happy ending.  So questions, comments, concerns, complaints
or of ya just wanna e-mail me and tell me whatever please feel free
spifty214@email.com.  Have A Great Day!