Date: Tue, 23 May 2000 20:55:40 EST
From: F E <faint_echo@hotmail.com>
Subject: Love's Faint Echo - Part 1

This story is fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about anyone,
particularly any of the members of NSYNC.  They may be gay, they may not.
You fantasize in your way, I'll fantasize in mine. :)  If you're interested
and allowed to read, please do.  Otherwise, please don't.  Carry on.


*ONE*

"Ooof!" Shelby McRae stepped into the aisle just as two other patrons were
stepping out, bringing both parties to a jarring halt.

Shelby stabilised himself against a bookshelf, barely managing to stay on
his feet.  The young man he had run into, however, hadn't been so lucky.  He
fell against his friend, spilling them both to the floor and sending the
books that he had been carrying scattering across the floor.  Leaning down,
Shelby offered each of them a hand, and pulled them to their feet.

Both were wearing sunglasses, and both of them had been wearing hats.  Only
one of them was now.  The one who had actually collided with Shelby had lost
his when he fell.  Realizing this, he bent over quickly and retrieved it,
pulling it over his artificially blond hair once more.

"Sorry," he said, looking Shelby in the eye for a moment before quickly
looking away again.

"No, it was my fault entirely.  Let me help you with those."  Shelby knelt
beside the second guy, who had been trying to gather up the books that they
had dropped.

"Thanks, man."

Once all of the books were picked up, Shelby offered his hand to one of
them, and then the other.  "I really am sorry about running into you like
that.  I had my nose stuck in this book, and I wasn't looking.  I'm Shel, by
the way."

The blond one shook his hand with a little more relaxed expression than he
had been wearing a few moments before.  When he responded, it was in a quiet
voice, though.  As though he didn't want to be overheard.  "It's okay.  I
was doing the same thing.  I'm Lance, and this here is Chris."

"Nice to meet you, Chris," Shelby removed his hand from Lance's and putting
it in Chris's.

"You too."  Shelby found his hand squeezed just hard enough, and pumped
three times before it was released.  A very professional handshake.  "Did
you say Shel?"

"Yeah, I did.  Short for Shelby," he replied.  Both Lance and Chris could
detect a slight Scottish accent in his voice.  Reaching out, he took the top
book off of the pile that he and Chris had gathered, and that Chris was now
holding.  "Pretty demanding stuff you've got here.  Hope you've got the time
to get everything you can out of it."

Lance tilted his head and read the title off of the spine of the book.
"That's one of mine.  What do you mean about getting everything I can out of
it?"

"It's pretty involved.  Not the kind of thing that you should read for a few
minutes and put down," Shelby explained.  "There's a lot of referential
stuff in it as well.  It alludes to several different books.  When I read
it, I had five or six books on the table beside me so that I could look up
the stuff that I wasn't familiar with."

"Maybe that wasn't the best choice, then," Lance said, giving it an odd
look.  "I don't often have that much time to devote to reading.  I just
thought it looked interesting."

Shelby handed the book back to him.  "I'd get it anyway.  Even if you don't
get everything in it, it's still a good read.  Take what you can, and then
read it again when you've got more time."  They wandered through the maze of
shelving as they discussed the different books that Chris and Lance had been
buying, and then began to walk up the stairs to the second floor of  the
bookstore.  The awkwardness that Shelby had sensed at the beginning of their
conversation seemed to be slipping away the more they talked.

"Shel!"

They stopped talking long enough for Shelby to turn his head and take in the
girl who had called his name.  "Hey, Crystal.  How's it going?"

"Just fine.  I was beginning to think that you might not show up today.
You're ten minutes late.  You want your regular?"

Shelby turned to his two companions.  "Would you guys care to join me?"  He
indicated a small table near the windows.  "I always stop here and get a cup
of tea.  Normally, I go over whatever it is I've managed to find  on the
shelves, but we could just hang out."

Lance and Chris shared a look that Shelby couldn't decipher, then Lance
nodded and turned his attention back to Shelby.  "Sure.  Sounds like fun."

"Excellent."  Shel wasn't particularly used to making friends this quickly.
He wasn't really used to making them at all.  But both Chris and Lance had
seemed interested in their discussion, and if there was one thing that
Shelby loved to talk about, it was books.  "Crystal, I'd like you to
meet..."

"Tom," Chris interrupted, giving her a small wave and a smile.

"James," Lance said, adding his own wave.

Shelby gave them both a confused look, but decided to mind his own business.
  "I'll have my regular.  What do you guys want?  It's on me."

"That's okay, Shel, we can pay for ourselves," Chris argued.

"Given how much you're going to be dropping for all of those books, I'm sure
you can.  But you're not going to.  Crystal?  Give them what they want, and
put it on my bill, would you?"

"Sure thing, Shel."  Crystal placed his mug of tea in front of him and
turned her attention to Chris and Lance - Tom and James.  Shelby was just
starting for the table he had indicated a moment before when Lance grabbed
his arm.

"You think we could sit at that table over there instead?"  He pointed out a
table that was across from the window, along the far wall and out of the
traffic of the store.

"Um... sure.  No problem," Shelby responded, then turned and headed for the
table.  He took his seat and set the two books that he had been carrying on
the table, waiting for his companions to join him.  There was something
about them that was fuelling his curiosity, and it was an odd sensation for
him.  Normally, he was very much one to keep to himself, happy to let others
do what they wanted without it even occurring to him to care much about it.

"Thanks," Chris said, sitting down with him.  He set the tray he was
carrying on the table, then took the books off of it, setting them down on
top of Shel's.  He removed the two mugs and a plate of cookies from it as
well, then placed it on the floor, leaning it up against the wall to give
them more room on the table.

"Don't mention it.  It's the least I could do for running the two of you
down downstairs."

"I told you that wasn't all your fault," Lance said, sitting down across
from Shel.  He handed Chris a couple of sugar packets and creme containers,
along with a spoon.  "We weren't watching where we were going any more than
you were."

"Yeah, you know what Scoo... Lance was reading, but what had you so
enthralled?"  Chris lifted their books up and picked up one of the ones that
Shel had set down.  Opening it up, he cocked his head and looked up.
"What's this?"

"It's a book," Lance laughed, his tone suggesting that Chris might well be a
retard.  Chris didn't look amused in the least, and turned the book around
so that Lance could see the print.  "Hey," Lance said, leaning over for a
closer  look.  "What *is* that?"

"It's in Arabic," Shel grinned.

"You read Arabic?"

He nodded and took a sip of his tea.  "Not as well as I want to, which is
why I got those two.  I had to order them specially."

"You sound Scottish, though."

"I am, sort of.  My parents were both born there, but I grew up here.  The
bit of accent I have is from them.  I picked up Arabic last year.  It looked
hard, so I decided to give it a shot."

"That's pretty cool," Chris said, looking through the book.

"It's a distraction," Shel smiled.  "So do I get to find out exactly who you
two are?  Are you Lance and Chris, or Tom and James, and who's Scoo?"

"You really don't have a clue who we are, do you?" Lance asked, looking at
him with a small smile.

"Should I?"

"No, I guess not.  I'm really Lance.  He's really Chris.  We just wanted to
keep a low profile."

"You two on the run?" Shel asked, smiling.  Neither one of them seemed like
they would be capable of pissing anyone off, let alone doing any real
damage.

"Sort of," Chris said reluctantly.  Shelby could see the hesitation to talk
about their situation, and he put his hands up to stop any further
explanations.

"It's okay, guys.  Forget I asked."

Lance shook his head.  "No, it's just that..."

"Forget it," Shel insisted.  "If I don't know now, I don't need to know,
right?  So you're Lance and Chris, two guys I ran into - quite literally -
at the bookstore.  That's enough."

They both looked relieved to be let off the hook, and the three of them sat
for a few minutes without talking, letting the bit of uncomfort pass.

Finishing off a cookie, Chris finally broke the silence.  "So, Shel, I take
it you're here often?  The girl at the counter, Crystal, seemed to be a
pretty good friend."

Shel smiled and nodded his head.  "She's a friend, I guess.  I don't see her
except when I'm in here, though.  I'm here once a week.  Every Thursday
morning, actually.  Eleven AM sharp."

"That's quite the schedule."  Lance smiled and reached for one of the
cookies, offering the plate to Shel, who shook his head.  "Why the exact
time?"

"My days tend to be pretty full.  If I don't schedule stuff in that way,
they don't wind up getting done.  There's only so much time during the day
that I can get out."

"What is it that you do that's so time-consuming?"

"I'm a caretaker, of sorts.  My job isn't so much time-consuming as it is
all-consuming.  During the day, anyway.  Most nights my schedule is a little
more flexible, but even then there's certain conditions.  But, it's a
living.  A rather good living, actually."

"What exactly do you take care of?" Chris asked.

"That's sort of a complicated question," Shel started, and Lance immediately
jumped to his rescue.

"Don't worry about it, Shel.  You didn't ask about us, we don't have any
right to ask about you.  After all, we've only known you for half an hour or
so."

"Thanks, Lance.  It's not that I don't want to tell you, just that it's
kinda complicated to explain in a nutshell.  Caretaking is my main job, but
it's really just what pays the bills."  Shel got a strange smile on his face
as he said that, but didn't explain it any further.  "It doesn't really
require a lot of work, but I have to be there just in case.  So, I have a
lot of time on my hands.  That's why the Arabic, and other distractions that
I pick up along the way."

Lance nodded.  "I understand.  You said it's complicated to put into a
nutshell.  That's the same thing with us.  The way things are, we just have
to be careful about what we say, who we say it to, and where we say it."

"Trust me, I understand that better than you might think," Shel assured him.

"So are you from New York?" Chris asked, once more veering the conversation
before they got into territory that they had already established was
off-limits.

"Yes and no.  My parents moved us here when I was ten or so.  But I live
here now, yeah."

"What about your parents?"

"They passed away when I was fifteen."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lance said, reaching across the table to touch Shelby's
arm.  When he noticed what he was doing, he quickly removed his hand again.
"That's horrible."

"It was," Shel conceded.  "But, I'm okay.  I still think about it a lot, but
I've gotten along pretty well."  His mind was reeling with the way Lance had
been so quick to offer his condolences, and feeling Lance's hand on his arm
had set his heart going a little faster.  It had been ages since that had
happened.  "What about you guys?  I'm assuming that you're not from New
York."

They both shook their heads, but Chris was the only one that spoke.  "I'm
from Florida.  Lance here is from Mississippi.  We're only in town for a few
days.  We were just stocking up on reading material while we had the day
free."

Hearing that they were only going to be there for a few days brought
Shelby's heart back to a more sedate pace, confusing him even more.  It
really wasn't like him to react like this to others.  He was usually very
reserved when it came to people he met.  Polite, even friendly, but he
didn't let them get to him.  He had learned long ago that forming
attachments opened up whole new worlds of hurt.

But somehow, Lance and Chris - but especially Lance - had managed to form
some sort of bond without him even realizing that it was happening.  The
moment he had seen Lance, he had gotten the feeling that he was gay and the
hand on his arm, along with the expression when it was removed, all but
confirmed it for him.  But this was New York.  Every other person you met on
the street was gay.  Especially in this neighborhood.

He hadn't meant their refreshment break to be anything more than an attempt
to pay them back for bowling them over in the aisle.  He hadn't expected to
ever see them again after they left the bookstore, even if they were from
New York.  In a city that size, the odds of bumping into them randomly were
pretty small.  But hearing that there wasn't even the possiblity of it
happening saddened him a little.  That sadness was what was causing the
confusion.

"Shel?  You still with us?"  Lance leaned over and waved his hand in front
of Shelby's face with a laugh.  "Earth to Shelby."

Shel smiled.  "I'm still here.  Just thinking, I guess."  He lifted his mug
and drained the last bit of tea out of it, and watched as Chris and Lance
did the same with their drinks.  The cookies were already gone.  Chris
leaned over and got the tray again, then set the mugs and plate on it.

"I guess we should probably get going, and let you get back to your
schedule," Lance said, standing up from the table.

Shel and Chris did the same, and Chris offered Shelby his hand again.  "It
was really nice meeting you, Shel.  And thanks again for the grub."

"Don't mention it, Chris," Shel responded, shaking his hand.  He noticed
this time that the handshake was less professional than the first one had
been.  When he released Chris's hand, he offered his to Lance, who
immediately shook.

Looking at Lance, Shel found himself thinking about just how much he didn't
want to let go of the hand he was holding.  His confusion was rising by the
second at his reaction to this guy, and he didn't have a clue what was going
on with him.

"Nice to meet you," Lance said, smiling.

Shel was speaking before his brain could kick in.  "Would you like to have
dinner with me tonight?" he asked, still not letting go even though their
hands had stopped moving up and down.

Chris inhaled sharply and gave Lance a look, obviously uncomfortable with
the sudden turn of events.  Shelby could see Lance's eyes open wider behind
the sunglasses that they had both insisted on wearing even though they were
inside.  They were light tints, so at least they could see clearly indoors.

"Excuse me?" Lance asked, finally releasing Shel's hand.

Thinking he had made a mistake after all, Shel withdrew his hand, dropping
it to his side.  "I asked if you wanted to have dinner with me.  Sorry if I
stepped out of line, but you are gay, right?  I've just been getting this
vibe from you..."  With each word, he saw the surprised expression on
Lance's face grow, and he finally stopped talking.  "You know what?
Nevermind.  Sorry if I said something wrong.  It was nice meeting you both."
  He picked up both of his books and moved from the table, heading for the
stairs.

Lance and Chris watched as he moved through the small cafe setting, waving
at Crystal on his way to the stairs, and then headed down them.  "How did he
know?" Chris whispered.

Lance shrugged, then looked Chris in the eye for a moment.  "I don't know.
I didn't have a clue about him.  What do I do?"

"What do you mean?  You forget it.  He didn't know who we were, and didn't
seem to be the type that would care much, anyway.  And you didn't admit
anything, so it's not like he can go to the press with it.  I say we just
pay for our stuff and leave."

Lance knew that Chris was probably right.  But at the same time, his words
fell flat.  For much of the time they had been sitting at the table, Lance
had been watching Shelby.  Secure in the knowledge that his sunglasses hid
all but a faint outline of his eyes, he had been able to look without
seeming to look.  There was something about him...

Coming to a decision, Lance handed his few books to Chris once more and
started to move for the stairs.  "I don't think I can do that, Chris," he
said behind him as he picked up speed, hoping to catch Shelby before he left
the store.  He heard Chris calling him - calling James - but he paid no
attention, intent on getting down the stairs in time.