Date: Sat, 28 Aug 1999 05:24:42 PDT
From: Jason Clarke <jaclarke@hotmail.com>
Subject: Loving Nick - Part 4

This story involves members of the bands Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC.  I am
in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members.
This is purely a fictional story.  Enjoy!

This is my first attempt at writing a story like this so please bear with
me. Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com

			  * * * * * * * * * * * *

Loving Nick - Part 4

Nick stared at Lance without saying a word.  He totally did not expect this
to happen and he was unprepared to react.  He didn't know how to react.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Nick."  Lance was hysterical.  He couldn't
believe what he had just done.  "I'm so sorry, I just don't know what came
over me."  By now, Lance was sobbing uncontrollably.  "Please, Nick, don't
hate me for this.  I promise I'll never do it again."  Lance kept begging
for forgiveness.  He was desperate.  He could not lose Nick's friendship.
As Lance's sobs got more intense, he fell on his knees in defeat, feeling
that his one moment of lust had cost him everything that he treasured.

"What...what are you doing Lance?" Nick finally managed to ask.  "Get up,
Lance, please." Nick couldn't stand to see Lance so distraught.  Nick knelt
down beside Lance and looked him in the eye.  "It's okay, Lance.  I'm not
mad at you, honest."

Lance looked up at Nick like a sad puppy.  "I'm so sorry, Nick.  Please
forgive me," Lance pleaded.

"I'm not angry at you, Lance.  Believe me.  How can I be angry with a sweet
and caring guy like you?"  Nick used his hand to brush the tears from
Lance's face.

"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it," Lance explained.  "I love you,
Nick.  I really do.  You are everything that I've ever dreamed of."

Nick was shocked at Lance's revelations.  Yet for some strange reason, he
did not feel repulsed by this.

Lance continued, "I know that Brian is the man of your dreams and that I
will never be of any importance to you, Nick.  But I just can't help loving
you, Nick."  By now, Lance was sobbing again.

Nick pulled Lance close to him.  He was touched by Lance's revelations.  He
had always liked Lance.  He was kind, gentle, good looking, and always a
good friend.  But he had never thought of Lance as a potential lover
before.  "It's okay, Lance.  Everything's gonna be okay."  By now, Nick was
on the verge of tears too.  The entire day has been an emotional roller
coaster for him.  "I'm not worth all your tears, Lance," Nick whispered,
tears streaming down his face.

Lance looked into Nick's eyes with adoration.  "Yes, you are, Nick.  I'd do
anything and everything for you.  All you have to do is tell me and I'll do
it."

Nick hugged Lance as they both continued to cry on each other's shoulders.
After a few minutes, Nick stood up, and gently helped Lance to his feet.
They walked over to Nick's bed and sat down.  "Lance, don't ever say that
you're not important to me ever again, because that will never happen."

Lance looked a little confused, not really understanding what Nick is
trying to tell him.

"I care for you, Lance.  I care for you a lot.  I would be lying to you if
I told you that I loved you at this moment, because even I'm not really
sure of my own feelings.  All I know is that I have special feelings
towards you, feelings that go beyond simply being friends."

"Are you saying that you are willing to give me a chance?"  Lance asked
hopefully.

Nick smiled at Lance and nodded.

"But...what about Brian?"

Nick's smile faded.  "Don't mention him in front of me."

Lance understood that this was still a sensitive topic. "Sorry, Nick," he
apologized quickly.

Nick sighed.  "No, I should be the one saying sorry, Lance.  Who am I to
take my anger and frustrations out on you?  I'm sorry for snapping at you."

Lance could feel his adoration and love for Nick grow stronger with each
passing minute.  "You're such a wonderful guy, Nick.  I've been wanting to
tell you that for the longest time."

Nick smiled at Lance.  "Just what do you see in me anyways?" Nick asked
curiously.  "I mean, I'm immature, annoying, selfish, and who knows what
else..." Nick sighed again and looked down at the floor.

"Stop it, Nick.  Stop putting yourself down.  You're the most caring and
kind-hearted person that I've ever met.  You're far from selfish and you're
fun to be with," Lance said confidently.

"Wow, you seem like you know me inside out," Nick said with a small grin.

"I do, Nick, I do," Lance answered.  "You've been the person who's been
personally delivering thank you cards to all the hotel staff in every hotel
that you guys have stayed in."

"How did you know that?" Nick could not believe that Lance would know about
this.

"I have my sources," Lance smiled slyly.  "Too bad the other guys never
bothered to see all the beautiful qualities that you have."

After a moment of silence, Nick finally said, "Lance, I know that you care
for me a lot, but I hope you understand that at this point, I'm not quite
ready to start a new relationship yet.  I just need some time, I hope you
understand."

Lance looked into Nick's blue eyes and smiled.  "Anything you want, Nick.
I kind of expected that anyways and I have no problem with it.  I never
dreamed that you would even give me a chance, so who am I to complain?"

"Thanks so much, Lance," Nick said gratefully.  "Thanks for being so
understanding.  I promise that I won't keep you waiting."

Lance hugged Nick.  "Take your time, Nick.  I'll wait for all eternity for
you if I had to."

Lance's promise deeply touched Nick.  He hugged Lance tightly and gave him
a long, deep kiss.

Nick looked at his watch, "Oh my god!!! We're late!!"

Lance also jumped off the bed.  "We have five minutes to get ready for the
rehearsal."  Both of the guys started scrambling around to get themselves
ready.  They looked in the mirror and were shocked by the puffy eyes
resulting from their sobbing.  "No time to fix that up," Lance muttered.
Lance walked up to Nick and hugged him once again.  "Are you sure you're
ready for this?"

"You mean facing the guys?" Nick asked.

Lance nodded.

"To be honest with you, not really.  Right now, I can't stand the sight of
them.  But what can I do?  We've got work to do and I can't hold up
everyone just because I'm feeling lousy."  Nick looked down at the floor
again.  It was obvious to Lance that this rehearsal was going to be very
difficult for Nick.

Lance gave Nick a hug of encouragement and they both walked to the door.
As Nick opened the door, he saw Brian standing in the hall waiting for him.

Nick just glared at Brian and Brian avoided Nick's eyes.  Lance, sensing
that Nick and Brian needed to be alone, whispered to Nick, "I'll wait for
you downstairs."

After Lance had gone into the elevator, Brian gathered the courage to
approach Nick.  "Nicky, we need to talk."

"Do we really?" Nick asked sarcastically.  "Gee, Brian, why don't we just
get into bed together again like we did last night, and you can tell me how
much you love me and all that shit."  Nick was bitter and he saw Brian as a
major contributor to his anger.

"Nicky, I'm so sorry," Brian apologized.

"Sorry for what?  Sorry for saying that you loved me?  Or sorry that you
didn't fuck me when you had the chance?" Nick spat out.  Tears were
streaming down his face again.

"Nicky, I didn't mean to hurt you.  I just..."

Brian was cut off by Nick.  "I've heard that line one too many times,
Brian.  The fact is that you did hurt me.  Sometimes, sorry doesn't reverse
all the harm that has been done.  I can't run someone over with my car and
then tell them that I didn't mean it."

Brian saw that it would be very difficult to get Nick to forgive him.  He
never imagined that the whole plan would hurt Nick so deeply.  "Nicky..."

"Sorry, Bri, but we're late for rehearsal.  I'll see you downstairs."  With
that, Nick turned and walked to the elevator.

Brian did not move from his place.  He buried his face in his hands and
sobbed quietly.  How could he have been so stupid to jeopardize his
friendship with Nick?  What was he going to do now?  Was he going to lose
Nick's friendship forever?


...to be continued....

Would Nick be touched by Brian's pleas?  Does Nick have true feelings of
Lance or is he just using Lance to get over Brian?

Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com