Date: Mon, 03 Apr 2000 01:16:08 GMT
From: carlos miller <horus209@hotmail.com>
Subject: More than Friends! 3

This story involves members of the bands Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC.  This
implies, in no way, anything about the sexuality of any of their members.
This is a purely fictional story. With that said, Enjoy!

Also thanks again to all of you who sent me e-mails about the story. Your
input is important to me. Thanks!

And remember send all comments, ideas, questions, or concerns about the
story to Horus209@hotmail.com. (Please be nice!)
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  Justin opened his eyes, and saw the sun begining to rise into the sky.  He
looked at the alarm clock, it was 6:45am. He sighed. This next morning was
no more comforting than the last. He had been up all night thinking about
what has gone in the past couple of days. He thought about what J.C. had
said to him and how his words comforted him so much. He'd also been thinking
alot about how his own sexuality,and about Nick. How much Nick loved  him,
and how he loved Nick. Then two words came to him and kept repeating
through his thoughts.
"I'm gay." he said aloud to no one.
Tears began fill his eyes. He could hardly believe, what he had said.
'No, No., I am NOT gay. I can't be gay.'Justin thought.
But Justin knew that these thoughts were untrue, and that he was actually
gay. Suddenly, without any regard of his present attire, Justin lept from
his bed ran out the door and to the elevator.
'I'm not gay' he repeated to himself over and over again.
He ran off the elevator, and when he got to Nick's room, he began to knock
wildly.
"Nick, we need to talk, It's really important." Justin yelled
Nick opened the door, he was still half asleep.
"Justin, what's wrong?" Nick asked
"Can I come in, it's really important."
"Sure sure, come in." Nick said groggily
Justin went in, and Nick shut the door only to see Justin standing in front
of him with tears flooding from his eyes.
"I can't do this Nick. I can't be with you." Justin said
Thess words caught Nick completly by surprise.
"But.......you said you would try."
"I know Nick, but i can't. I just can't!"
"Why not?" Nick said, completely awake now.
"I'm not gay, I can't be gay." Justin fell to his knees, staring only at the
floor, not able to look Nick in the eyes. Tears were racing down his cheeks.
"I love you Justin."
"I know you do Nick, but......"
"But what?"
"but I just can't do it." Justin said as he looked up and finally looked
Nick directly in the eyes. "I'm not as strong as you Nick. I can't handle
everyone hating me. I can't be isolated from my friends. I need them, their
my whole life."
"I don't hate you Justin. I love you. If your friends abandon you, like mine
did, you'll still have me."
"But that's not enough."
"Love's not enough?"
"It's.....its different, it's more complicated. Nick.....please
understand......I can't be alone, I need them. Their my friends, my family.
Their all I have."
Justin said as he turned his face away from Nick
"You have me. I'll be everything for you."
"I can't Nick, I.....I just can't"
"God Justin. You spend so much time trying to make others happy, what about
yourself."
"What about me?"
"You can't tell me you'd  live your life alone, if it'd make the
world love you, rather than to be happy and alone with me."
"Nick, if I was with you, you'd be all I have."
"Justin, i'm all you need."
"Nick, I can't, I'm not gay"
"Yes you are Justin." Nick yelled "Your a fag. Face it. Your a fag, I'm a
fag. Everyone knows, and your pretending like you don't. Your using
this.....this little act as a crutch. Your only fooling yourself."
As Nick yelled at him, Justin pulled his legs into his chest, and held his
head between his knees. He was sobbing loudly, but Nick, couldn't hear him
over his own voice. When Nick finished, he looked down and saw how much he
had upset Justin. He ran over to him, and put his hand on Justin's back, but
as soon as his hand touched Justin, Justin jumped back and harshly pushed
him away.
"Don't you touch me, don't you ever touch me again." Justin yelled
"I'm sorry baby, i didn't mean to-"
Justin cut Nick off "Don't call me baby, I'm not your baby. I hate you
Nick."
Then Justin got up to run away, but Nick quickly grabbed his wrist, and
pulled him into a tight hug.
"I'm so sorry Justin, I didn't mean to yell at you. I just couldn't let you
throw this away, I couldn't let you throw us away." Nick pleaded
"LET ME GO YOU ASSHOLE." Justin yelled as he struggled to get away from Nick
"Justin please forgive me. I love you so much. Please, please, just don't
leave me."
"Nick, let me go of me."
"Please don't leave me Justin. Please....lets just talk." Nick said letting
go of Justin
"We have nothing to talk about Nick, I told you i can't be your boyfriend."
"We can talk about whatever you want, just, please, stay here with me."
"Nick i'm sorry-" Justin said as he began to walk towards the door.
"Justin please....."
Then without thinking, Nick pulled Justin into a kiss, but Justin pulled
away, "Nick!" Justin yelled
Then Nick pulled Justin into a tighter hug, and began to kiss him
frantically.
He was not going to lose justin, not this time. He had wanted Justin for so
long, and now that he had Justin in his arms he was never going to let him
go. Nick forced Justin's mouth open with his own. Justin struggled, but
Nick's hold on him was to tight. Nick forced his tongue in Justin's mouth as
he kissed him. He was so wrapped up in what he was doing, he didn't notice
justin's tears as
the ran down his cheeks. Nick lighten his grip on Justin as he pulled away
from the kiss. He looked into justin's eyes, they were so red and puffy.
Nick felt his heart break into a million pieces.
"What have I done" Nick said as he fell to his knees. "I'm so sorry Justin,
I should never have-"
"Nick, I'm not ready for all of this. I'm just not ready." Justin said as he
put his face into his hands. Nick looked up at justin.
"Justin, I love you, and I know you feel something for me too. I know you
do. We can take it as slow as you want. We can keep us a secret. I need you,
I love you. Please. I can't live without you"
Justin looked down at the man pleading for his love. Nick was right, Justin
did feel something for him. He loved Nick, and he wanted to be with him, but
there was something that was there and wouldn't let them be. His doubt.
Justin doubted his own sexuality, his feelings, his love. Justin stared
silently and blankly at Nick. As Nick looked up at Justin and felt his
heartbreak again because he knew that their love was never going to be. He
looked down and felt tears coming to his eyes. Then he heard a simple
whisper that made him wanna jump for joy.
"I love you Nick" Justin said
Nick gasped as he looked up to Justin.
"I love you!" Justin repeated
A wide smile spread across Nick's face as he jumped up and began wildly
kissing Justin. The two fell back onto the bed as they made a series of
quick, small pecks, and kisses. Nick was overjoyed that Justin finally
admitted his love for him. But there was one thing that Nick could not get
off his mind:
'Is this for real, or is this just going to end like all my other attempts?"
Nick backed away from Justin and stared seriously into his eyes.
"Is this for real Justin, because i'm not letting you go ever again. I love
you too much and if your just jerking me-"
Justin silenced Nick by placing a single finger over his mouth.
"Yes this is for real Nick." Justin stated "No take-backs this time. Its you
and me......forever."
Then Justin leaned up and placed a small, simple kiss on Nicks lips. Nick
was speechless, he wanted to cry, and he wanted to shout for joy. But he
just laid there on top of Justin, holding the man he loved.
______________________________________________________________________
Well what do you think of the third part of my story. Sorry it's late, and
I'm sorry it's so short! If you have any comments, questions, or concerns,
feel free to write me at
Horus209@hotmail.com