Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2000 13:16:51 -0800 (PST)
From: Francis O'Ratigan <frnceso@yahoo.com>
Subject: Moving Forward  Chapters 1&2

Hey readers, you all know me from the Twist and Turns trilogy.  As I
prepare to wind down that story I have started work on another one.  This
one in titled "Moving Forward" Yes it is an another BSB story.  Only this
one centers on Brian as he finds what he believes to be true love.  Quick
note about Twist and Turns.  I am winding that story down.  I have enjoyed
writing that story very much.  But what made it really worth it were my
fans.  I haven't been writing all that long and it is rewarding to see that
people accept me as a writer.

Now as before this story is a complete work of fiction.  This story in no
way reflects the actual sexual orientation of the Backstreet Boys.  If you
are a minor scat!!  Come back when you are legal.  If you are legal than
sit back and enjoy the premier of "Moving Forward"

Any comments or ideas please e-mail me at frnceso@yahoo.com


Moving Forward

Chapter 1


Brian threw back his head and let out a loud moan as the young 18-year-old
blonde bobbed up and down on his cock.  Brian had been on the road for
three days and had stopped at a hotel.  The desk clerk had called the
bellhop to take up his things to the room.  Brian had caught his eye the
moment he laid eyes on him.  Brian invited him in and promised him a time
he would never forget.  The young man accepted eagerly.  In no time Brian
had seduced the 18-year-old and had him stripped and sucking his cock.
Brian looked down at the young man.  He was very attractive with his almost
white hair and dark tan.  Brian could feel his orgasm building.  He started
pumping in and out of the young stud's mouth.  He grabbed his head and held
it in place as he started blasting his load down his throat.  The young man
eagerly swallowed the entire load.  Brian gazed at the 18-year-olds hot
tight body.  His 7-inch cock standing at attention.  Brian reached for it
and guided the head to his mouth.  The kid let out a moan and started
thrusting in and out.  Brian loved to suck cock.  He craved it.  He
concentrated on breathing and giving as much pleasure as he could to the
young stud.

His thrust became more and more urgent.  Brian knew he was close so he took
his balls in his hand and pulled down on them.  The young man groaned in
frustration as the orgasm subsided.  Brian wanted to make this last as long
as possible.  He kept the suction up and paid attention to the responses of
the kid.  Finally he couldn't wait any longer.  He picked up pace and
allowed the kid to let loose.  In about three seconds Brian was sucking
down the young mans cum as he shot it down Brian's throat.  Brian cleaned
him up and stood up and went to the bathroom.  After peeing in the toilet
he sauntered back in.  He tossed the kid a 100 and started to get dressed.
The kid got the message and threw his clothes on and left in a hurry.
Brian turned on the TV and flipped through the channels.  Finding nothing
on he went to bed.


Paris Island North Carolina

The morning was hot and suppressive.  I stepped onto the grinder and watch
my former company do their morning drills.  Thy caught sight of me and
turned their backs to me.  I bowed my headed and turned and walked away.  I
made my way to the enlisted parking lot.  I had my discharge papers in one
hand and my seabag in the other.  As I made my way to the parking lot a
shadow crossed my path.  It was my best friend.  I looked him in the eye.
He sneered at me and brushed passed me.

"I'm still the same Chris Ramsey that you always knew," I said to his back.

"You are dead to me Faggot.  Get out of my Corps!" he hurled at me.  I
resumed my path to my car.  You see I am gay and guilty of a horrible
crime.  That crime was serving in the Marines.  I loved the Marines and I
gave everything I had to the Corps.  I finally admitted to my best friend
that I was gay.  He kept trying to set me up with girls on base.  So one
day in a fit anger I spilled my guts to him.  72 hours later I was ordered
to leave the corps.  I would never forget the look on the Corporals face as
he ripped the globes and anchors off of my uniform.

So today was the first day of my new life.  I heard the colors sound and
for the first time in almost 4 years I ignored it.  I heard the angry cry
of a Gunny as he ordered me to stop and salute the flag.  I flipped him off
and kept walking.  If they were going to throw me out of the Corps than I
owed them nothing.  And nothing was what he was going to get.  I reached my
car.  A 1999 red ford mustang.  She was my baby fully loaded.  I opened the
trunk and tossed my stuff in the trunk and slammed it shut.  As I headed
out of the base I opened the window and tossed my Military ID out the
window.  A glint of gold caught my eye and I saw the medallion my father
had given me.  It was the symbol of the United States Marine Corps.  The
Globe Eagle and Anchor.  I didn't have the heart to get rid of it.  It
belonged to my father.  He gave it to me before he died.  I turned onto the
Interstate and floored it.  I was not letting any grass grow under my feet.

On the side of the Road in route to Orlando.

"Don't yell at me Kevin!" Brian screamed into the phone.  "I can't help it
if the car broke down.  Jesus Christ man I'm on the side of the fucking
road," he shouted into the cell phone.

"God Brian you can be so stupid sometimes.  Sometimes I think the only
thing you think of is your fucking dick!" shouted Kevin.  "Just once I wish
you would think about your responsibilities for once!"

"Fuck you Kevin and the horse you rode in on!" Brian slammed the phone shut
and tossed it on the seat.  "Shit, shit shit what am I going to do now?" he
shouted to the heavens.  After calming down he called the towing service
and sat back to wait.


On the same road a few miles down the road.

"The wind was blowing through my short hair.  The music to BSB was blaring
out of my Bose stereo.  Life was good.  Tomorrow was my birthday and my
trust fund would come into affect.  At the tender age of 22 I would be 20
million dollars richer.  I glanced down at my speed.  I was at 90 so I
slowed down.  Up ahead I noticed that a car was broke down on the side of
the radio.  I slowed down and pulled behind him.  He was leaning on the
side of the car.  I shouldn't be doing this. But something told me that it
would be all right.  I climbed out and made my way over to him.  He turned
and looked at me.  My heart pounded in my chest.  He was a God or close to
it.  The sun hit his blonde highlights almost making it look like he wore a
halo.  His eyes locked onto mine.  He was the sexiest man I had ever laid
eye on.  He wore the expression of innocence on his face, He broke into a
smile.  It melted my heart.

"You need some help man?" I asked returning his smile.

"My car is broke down," he said.  He had a soft southern accent, which was
very sexy.  God everything about him reeked of sexy.  "I called a tow truck
and they are sending someone out."

I stuck out my hand and took his.  His touch sent electric shocks through
me.  "Name is Chris Ramsey," I stated.

"Brian," he answered.  He didn't offer a last name but I let it pass.

"Well Brian what is a rich dude like you doing on the side of the rode all
by yourself?  You could get mugged," I joked with him.  He laughed at my
comment.

"You going to do the mugging?" he asked hopefully.  Man this kid was real
bright cute and bright.  I was starting to like this guy.  Than it hit me,
I knew who he was.  I decided to have some fun.

"I'll be happy to stay here and wait with you while the tow truck arrives.
He nodded.  "So what is a Backstreet Boy doing all the way out here?" I
asked.  He looked at me with a shocked look on his face.  It was priceless.
I busted up laughing.  "Oh come on Brian, with a face like that and voice
like yours are you surprised that people don't know you on the streets?"
He looked down at his feet blushing.  God did he look cute when he blushed.

"Where are you headed?" I asked him.

"Orlando," he stated.

"Really?" I asked excited.  "Why don't you tag along with me so you don't
have to ride in the tow truck?"

"Sure if it is not to much bother," he replied smiling at me.

"No problem at all," I smiled back.  I caught him staring at me.
"Helloooo!!" I said waving my hand in front of his face. Are you there?" I
asked laughing.

"Sorry,' he mumbled blushing.  He looked so cute blushing that I had a hard
time not pulling him into a hug.  By this time the tow truck had arrived
and Brian took care of the bill and all.  In a few minutes we were on the
road again.  "So are you gay?" I asked bluntly. He looked at me with fear
in his eyes.

"What makes you think that I am gay?" he stammered looking out the window.

"The way you kept checking me out," I commented.  "Hey don't worry about
it.  You're in good company."

"Well some people would just as soon send us to hell," he mumbled.  I could
tell that he wasn't happy and that something was really bothering him.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked.  He shook his head no.

"Yea you're probably right, after all I am a complete stranger and all," I
said back.

"So what is your story man?" he asked.

"Well I'm gay and I just got kicked out of the Marines, it was the only job
that I truly loved and they took it away from me." I said tearing up
alittle.  I brushed the tears away in an angry gesture.  "You see Brian,
they don't tolerate fags in their precious little corps."

"Man I thought my problems were small," he whispered.

"No problems are small Brian," I told him smiling alittle.  My stomach
growled and we laughed.  "I guess it is time for supper.  Where do you want
to eat?"

"McDonalds where else?" he replied grinning like a kid.  So we pulled off
at the next exit and into a McDonalds.  We got our food and I laughed at
Brian.  He had ordered a double quarter meal.  "Kevin always watches me
like a hawk so I cheat when I can," he explained.  I ordered grill chicken
and salad shaker and diet coke.  Brian made gagging noises at my selection
and I glared at him.

"It's the Marine thing.  I like to eat healthy.  Some times I think I am
obsessed by it," I explained to him.  We sat down by a window and I started
eating.  He looked at me with a scolding look on his face.  "What?" I asked
confused.

"Do you believe in God?" he asked.

"Use to do the God thing but not any more," I stated bluntly.

"What does that mean?" he asked concern.

"What it means is simply this.  I used to believe in God but not anymore.
To many crappy things have happened in my life that leads me to believe
that he doesn't exist."  Brian just shook his head and started eating,

Half way through the meal his cell phone rang.  He answered it.

"Yea," he said pausing.  "No Kevin I'm not driving through the night.  We
are stopping at a hotel."  A pause again.  Brian got this really angry look
on his face.  "Fuck you Kevin!" he hurled at him.  "You don't run my life
so stay out of it!"  he slammed the phone shut.

"Kevin giving you a hard time?" I asked.

"Yea, he is just pissed because I missed a meeting this morning," he said
chewing on a fry.  "So you seeing anyone?"

I knew that question was coming up.  "No I'm not seeing anyone.  I am not
good at relationships.  Been used to many times so I try and stay away from
relationships."  The past was coming back and it wasn't pleasant.  I
shuddered.

"You all right?" he asked taking my hand in his.  It felt like it belonged
there.  I let him hold it.

"Yea, just brining up some really old and nasty memories," I mumbled.

"You want to talk about it?" he pressed on looking at me with those eyes of
his.  I got scared and jerked my hand away and shook my head no.  "It might
help," he insisted.

"Leave it alone," I rasped out.  "It happened along time ago."  He let the
matter drop and we left the McDonalds and went to a hotel.  Once there I
jumped into the shower and showered and brushed my teeth.  I walked out of
the bathroom stark naked.  I've always slept in the nude.  Once in the
bedroom I realized my error.  Brian eyes bugged out as he took me in.
"Sorry about that," I mumbled jumping into bed pulling blankets over me.
"Night Brian," I mumbled sleepily.

"Good night Chris," he answered back.  I turned away from him and fell
asleep.

(Chris's Dream)

I was in bed with him.  I could feel his oppressive heat and smell the
older man's sweat mingled with old spice and cigar smoke.  I struggled not
to vomit.  His breath was on my neck as he kissed.  I flinched from him.
"Please father, don't," I pleaded.  It did no good.  He roughly turned me
over and started tearing off my clothes.  I tried to fight him off but he
was so big.  He leered at me and pressed his crotch against mine.  He was
hard.  I was getting erect to.  Guilt filled me as he grabbed the waistband
of my boxers.  In one jerk he had them off.  He looked up at me and
grinned.  And than he lowered his mouth and took my cock into his mouth.  I
let out a half groan and whimper.  I tried to push him off.  He slapped me
hard.  Pain rocked my body.  I started swinging at him.  "No stop!" I
screamed at him.  "This isn't right, get off of me!"  I screamed as he
plunged his cock into my ass.

(from Brian's point of view.)

A piercing scream jolted me awake.  I sat up in bed and looked over at
Chris's bed.  He was laying in bed screaming at the top of his lungs.  He
was covered in sweat and was trying to fight something off.  Only thing was
that there was no one there.  I swung out of bed and ran to his side.

"Get off of me.  Don't touch me!" he screamed in his sleep.  I shook him
awake.  He sat up in bed looking around wild.  He saw me and took a swing
at me hitting me in nose.  "get off of me!" he shouted at me.  I knew he
wasn't awake yet so I resorted to slapping him across the face.  That
seemed to shock him back to reality.  He was breathing hard and fast.  His
body covered in sweat.  He was shivering to.  I reached to hold him but he
retreated to the far corner of the bed bringing his knees up to his chin
and he started sobbing quietly and rocked back and forth.  "Why wont it
stop?" he whimpered.  I gathered him up in a tight hug and held him until
he calmed down.  I realized at that point that Chris had been molested and
raped as a child.  I picked him up and carried him into the bathroom and
started the shower and guided him in.  I left him alone to take his shower.
While he was cleaning himself off I wondered back into the hotel room.
Fifteen minutes later he came walking back into the room.  He climbed back
into bed and curled into a fetal position and started sobbing quietly.  My
heart went out to him.  I climbed into bed with him and wrapped my arms
around him.  He tried to get away but I held tighter.

"It's alright Chris, I'm not going to hurt you," I soothed him.  I'll never
hurt you."  He seemed to calm down and he stops crying.  After about ten
minutes he fell asleep.  I was comfortable holding him and it felt as if I
belonged there so I kept holding him.  I watched him sleep.  God he was
gorgeous.  I knew that I was falling in love with him.  He had the face of
an angel and the body of a god.  I closed my eyes and went to sleep holding
my angel.

Chapter 2

(From Chris's point of view)

The door flew open and a man with black hair and a goatee came charging in.
I sat up in bed ready to fight.  Brian sat up to.

"What the hell are you doing here Kevin?" shouted Brian jumping out of bed.

"I knew it!" he shouted.  "I fucking knew it.  You're screwing around
again!"  He shouted.  He grabbed the blankets that were covering me and
yanked them off.  "Who is the tramp you're fucking now Brian?" he looked at
me like I was trash.  I climbed out of bed and slid on a pair of boxers.
Brian lost it and hit Kevin in the jaw.  Kevin's head snapped back and his
eyes rolled back and he fell to the floor.  Brian was in shock.

"Oh shit I killed him!" he sobbed out.  I almost laughed but managed to
hold it in.  I knelt down beside Kevin and checked him out real quick.

"Nope Brian, he is still alive better luck next time," I joked lightly.  He
glared at me and went to check on him too.  He than got up and grabbed the
pitcher of water and threw it on Kevin.  Kevin woke immediately sputtering
and swearing.

"Now if you'll calm down I'll tell you what happened!" shouted Brian. I
could tell he was mad.  I stayed quiet and let the two band mates fight it
out.  "Nothing happened Kev!"

"Yea right like I am going to believe you.  God Brian he was naked for
Christ sake!"  He hurled at poor Brian.  Brian growled in frustration and
moved to hit Kevin again.  'Man this kid had a temper,' I thought to myself
as I got up and put my hand on his shoulder to stop him.  "That's it slut,"
Kevin taunted me.  "Calm your lover down before I kick his ass again."

"Don't start on me little boy, or I'll mob the floor with you," I warned
him assuming a defensive stance.

"Little Boy?" he laughed moving towards me.  Brian moved in to defend me
but I held up my hand to stop him.  "Yea Brian stay back or he might hurt
you too," he laughed.

"Kevin, don't push, it wouldn't be wise," I warned him a final time.  He
took a swing at me.  It never reached me.  With one quick move I had
brought him down and had him pinned with his arm twisted behind him.  He
was groaning in pain.  "You see what almost 4 years of combat training does
to a guy Kevin?" I said in a dead calm voice.  "Now I am going to let you
up and I suggest you shut up and listen to what Brian has to say, alright?"
He nodded and I let him up.  He got to his feet glaring at me rubbing his
arm.

"Nothing happened Kevin.  We met when my car broke down and he was kind
enough to stop and offer me a ride--" he started only to interrupted again.

"You were picked up by a stranger Brian?  God what a stupid move.  You
could've gotten killed or something!" Kevin yelled at him.  Brian looked at
me for support.

"He does have a valid point Brian," I defended Kevin's outburst.  Kevin
looked at me in shock.  "Well you do!" I told him smiling a little.

"Well we stopped at this hotel to sleep for the night.  He had a bad---," I
cleared my throat to stop him.

"That is all the info he gets Brian," I stated getting up to get dressed.
"If you two children want to keep fighting go ahead.  I'm going out for my
morning run."  In a few moments I was outside doing what I loved most in
the world, running.  I usually ran up to 3.5 miles a day.


(From Brian's Point of View)

I sat on the bed glaring at Kevin.  He was glaring at me.  Finally he
stopped glaring at me and looked to the floor.  "So how did it go with
Jackie and Harold?" he asked.

"Not good, they hate me and want nothing to do with me now?" I answered
softly.  Kevin pulled me into a hug to comfort me.  I had a hard time
understanding him sometimes.  One moment he is this mean old grouch the
next moment he is this comforting teddy bear.  He really knew how to keep
things confusing.

"Just give it some time cous," he said softly.  "I had the same problem
with mom when I came out."  We sat in silence for a few moments.  "He is
good looking," he commented.

"You noticed?" I asked grinning.

"Who wouldn't, God what a body, I wonder if he has any friends," he said
joking.

"They threw him out Kevin," I said tearing up.  He looked at me in shock.
"The one place that he loved most in the world and they took it away from
him."

"Brian don't do this," Kevin warned me.  I glared at him in anger.

"Don't do what Kevin?" I hurled at him.  "Don't fall in love?  Well it's
too late because I've already fallen," I sobbed out.

"You've said this before and every time you throw them aside," Kevin
scolded me.  "Remember what you did to poor Nick?  You was his first love
and you tossed him aside like he was trash."

"Well he has you now and he is very happy," I said in defense of myself.
He just shook his head.

"The point is Brian is you have to stop using people like objects.  These
boys you pick up on tour are real living breathing human beings with
feelings," I glared at him but realized that he was telling me what I
needed to know.

"Chris is different.  I saw a part of him last night that scared the shit
out of me.  I would never hurt him like the others," Kevin was right I did
treat the others like trash.  Because that they were in my eyes.  Just a
means to get my rocks off.  But Chris was different.  When I was around him
I was alive.  I saw him hurting last night and I wanted to tell him that
every thing was alright.  Kevin was staring at me waiting for me to finish.
"Let's just say that he had a rough teen age life is all.  His father died
when he was fourteen."

"That's not all is it?" Kevin pushed.

"Not in my place to tell," I clamed up.  I noticed that Kevin was yawning.
Check out wasn't for a few more hours.  "Why don't you take the other bed
and sleep for a while.  I'm going to shower."  I got up and got my things
together and showered and dressed and headed out to find Chris.  I left
Kevin in the room alone to get some sleep.  I wondered down to the pool and
sat in one of the lounge chairs.  After about an hour I spotted Chris.  He
was coming out of the room with a pair of swim trunks on.  I was mesmerized
by him.  He was well built.  Not over built but it was obvious that he
worked out a lot.  He grinned at me and dived into the pool and swam over
to me.

"Hey," he said grinning like a kid.

"Hey yourself gorgeous," I teased him.  He blushed and looked away.  "You
are you know," I pushed.  I patted the seat next to me and he climbed out
of the pool and sat down next to me.  "We should talk," I said looking into
his green eyes.

"About what?" he asked scrunching up his nose.  I laughed at him and he
punched me in the shoulder.

"About us silly!" I giggled at him.  He got this scared look on his face.
My heart came crashing down.  "Is there an us?" I asked with tears coming
to my eyes.

He looked down and was silent for awhile.  "I don't do relationships real
well Brian," he mumbled just barely loud enough to hear him.  "I've been
hurt to many times to count.  I'm not sure I could go through that again."

"Well all I know is that I feel something for you.  And I don't want that
feeling to leave.  I want us to try," I pleaded with him.  He looked at me
with tears in his eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whimpered.

"You could never intentionally hurt me.  I can tell you are a kind and
caring person.  I think I am falling in love with you," he looked up scared
and walked away.  I got up an followed him I had to run to catch up.  I
grabbed his arm and he wrenched it away.

"Please Brian?" he begged.  I let him walk away.  I slowly turned and
headed back to the pool and sat back down.

(From Chris's point of view)

"Stupid, stupid!" I scolded myself.  I knew I liked Brian a lot.  Why
couldn't I just let myself go and love him?  It would be so easy to fall
head over heels in love with him.  I turned around and walked back to the
pool.  "Fuck it!" I yelled to myself.  "I'm entitled to some happiness!"  I
said aloud.  Once there I found Brian sitting by himself.  I crept up to
him and wrapped my arms around his bare shoulders.  I leaned down and
kissed his shoulder causing him to shudder.  He looked up at me and smiled.

"So you want to try this crazy thing?" he asked grinning.  I nodded
silently.

"I'm sorry I scared you," I mumbled.  "I just don't want to get hurt or
hurt anyone," I explained to him.  He nodded silently.  A shadow crossed
over us.  We looked up and saw Kevin standing behind us.  I glared at him
not knowing that Kevin and Brian had kinda made up.  "If you are here to
cause trouble just leave!" I hurled at him.  I put my arms around him
protectively.

"So you two are a couple now," he stated calmly.  I nodded.  "Well don't
come crying to me if he hurts you," he said walking off.

"Are you two related?" I asked Brian.

"Yea we're cousins," Brian answered me.  We headed back to the room to
change and head back on the road.  Once out of the hotel I had to find a
ATM machine.  I checked my balance and discovered that my trust fund had
come in.  I withdrew 500 dollars and headed back to the car.  I opened the
glove compartment and put the cash in.  Brian's eyes just about bugged out
of his head.

"Spending money," I casually said.  "My trust fund came it today."  We
headed towards the interstate.  After we had driven for almost an hour in
silence Brian asked me the dreaded question.

"Who was it?" I looked at him in fear.  "Come on Chris I know what happened
to you as a child.  Was it your Father?" He pressed.  I pulled over and
stopped the car.  He took my hand and looked into my eyes with the kindest
eyes I had ever seen.  "I would never hurt you.  I want to be there for
you," he pleaded.  "Please let me in," he pleaded.  I got scared and
grabbed the handle and ran out of the car.  I heard Brian shout after me.
But I kept on walking.  I really didn't know what I was doing.  All I knew
that my past was catching up to me and I didn't want it to.  I heard the
screech of tires behind me.

"Chris stop!" yelled Kevin.

I stopped and turned around.  Kevin was running towards me with a worried
expression on his face.  Tears of shame continued to stream down my face.

"What happened?" he asked me.  I remained silent.  Brian came running up
behind Kevin.

"Chris come back in the car so we can talk about what's bothering you!" he
pleaded.  Kevin turned on him grabbing him by the shirt.

"What did you do to him?" he shouted.

"Nothing that you need to concern yourself with!" Brian shouted back at him
shoving him away.

"Bullshit!" Kevin shouted back.  "Every time you find a new boy toy you
dump him when you are done with him and I'm stuck picking up the pieces!"
I decided that I needed to step in.

"Kevin," I spoke up.  He looked at me.  "It's not Brian's fault.  It's
something in my past is all.  It just caught up with me is all," I
explained.  I didn't want to have this conversation with Kevin. Hell I
didn't want to have this conversation with Brian but it was clear that I
would have to.  "Brian let's go back to my car and talk," I suggested.  He
nodded and we headed back to my car.  Leaving a bewildered Kevin behind.  I
looked back and nodded at him to follow.  Once inside the car I looked at
Brian.  "Brian, I care about you deeply.  I think I am falling in love with
you," I said looking into his eyes.  His eyes filled with tears and I
reached over and wiped them off.

"When I was fourteen I was told to go to a priest to have confession.  I
had messed up real bad and Mom and Dad thought I needed to go to
confession.  Dad was sick and dying of cancer so he couldn't discipline me
like he needed to.  So me being Catholic and all a priest was the next
logical step," I started.  The memories were starting to come back again.
Tears came to my eyes and I shook them off and continued.  The first
sessions were alright.  He told that what I did was wrong and I needed to
repent which I did.  Than he insisted that I continued to come back.  All
of a sudden he started asking me questions like, did I ever get an
erection?  I thought it was strange that a Priest would be asking me this
but I answered truthfully.  That was when the touching begin.  At first he
would undress me and just look at me."  I paused and noticed that I was
shaking.  The tears started falling in force now as I recalled the horrors
that the Priest had done to me.  Brian pulled me into a hug.

"You don't have to continue this if you don't want to," he soothed me.  I
shook my head no indicating that I wanted to continue this talk.  "Why
don't we go to my house and we can continue this.  It's allot better than
discussing this on the highway." I nodded and started the car.  "Why don't
you let me drive.  I climbed out and went to the passenger side and climbed
in.  We drove to Brian's house.  Once inside he guided me into the living
room.  Kevin came in behind us.  I sat down and accepted a glass of water
from Brian.  "You ready to continue?" he asked softly.  I nodded yes.

"Well pretty soon it led to touching of the genitals.  It wasn't long
before he was sucking me off.  I felt so good but at the same time I felt
so guilty.  I knew what I was doing was wrong.  But he was a priest.
Surely a priest wouldn't hurt me.  He bribed me with money even let me be
head alter server.  Than one night it came to an head.  It was snowing so I
stayed over night at the rectory.  I was in the guestroom when he came in.
He had been drinking.  He laid down in bed with me and took off his clothes
and than took off mine---," I started shaking again remembering that night.
Brian was right beside me hugging me.  He looked at Kevin with tears
flowing down his face. Kevin was crying to.  He stood up and got a drink.
I tried to take a drink of water but my hand was shaking so bad that Brian
had to help hold the glass.  I drank the entire thing in a few seconds.  I
took several deep breaths.

"You ready to continue?" he whispered to me.  I nodded yes and looked
straight ahead.

"After he got me undressed he started kissing all over me.  I felt so
dirty.  I tried to get away from him but he was so big and strong.  He got
mad and flipped me over and than he shoved his penis in my ass.  He was so
big and I was so small.  I must have blacked out because when I woke up I
was lying on the side of the rode in the snow.  He had put on my clothes
and just left me there on the side of the road."  I wasn't crying anymore.
I was just staring out in space.  There was silence in the room.  After
about five minutes of it I heard sobbing.  I looked over at Brian and he
had buried his head in his hands sobbing.  I pulled him into a hug.

"Fucking bastard!" he wailed.  "Fucking bastard!"  I just held him until he
got it all out of his system.  He finally got it all out of system.  "What
happened than?"

"I kept quiet about it until after Dad died.  Than I went to the
authorities.  He ended up blowing his brains out before the cops could
arrest him.  Three days after my father died he was buried too.  And that
is about all of that nasty story," I finished.  Brian stood up and walked
to the window and stared out it.  I looked at Kevin who was staring down at
his feet.  He looked at me and walked over to me and knelt down beside me.

"I am so sorry for how I treated you," he said running the back of his hand
down the side of my face.  I nodded my forgiveness.  "Brian I have to meet
with the guys.  I'll let them know that you are not feeling good."  With
that Kevin left us alone.  Brian came back to me and took my hand.  I stood
up and allowed him to hold me.  I was tired and started falling asleep in
his arms.  The next thing I knew I was being carried up the stairs.  Brian
took me into his room and gently laid me on the bed.  "Why don't you lay
down and take a nap," he said covering me up and he headed out the door.

"Don't go," I begged.  He turned around and smiled at me.

"You want me to stay?" he asked.

"Will you hold me?" I asked.  He smiled and stripped down to his boxers and
climbed into bed with me and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me
close.  For the first time in a long time I felt truly secure.  He gently
brushed his lips across mine and than across my eyelids.  I snuggled up
close to him and went to sleep.


(From Brian's point of view.)

I gently untangled myself from my sleeping angel.  As I left I turned and
looked down at him.  He looked so innocent lying there.  I smiled, bent
down and kissed the top of his head.  He moaned softly and turned over.  I
laughed softly and headed downstairs.  I heard the doorbell ring and
answered it.  Nick shoved his way in.  "Where is he?" he demanded hostily.

"Were is who?" I asked.

"Your new toy," he hurled at me.

"He is not my new toy and he is upstairs asleep!" I hurled back at him.

"What?" he shouted at me.  "You've wore him out already?  God Brian you are
a heartless bastard!" he shouted brushing past me and into the living room
and plopped down in my chair.

"Nick leave now!" I shouted at him.

"I'm not going anywhere until I talk some sense into you," he informed me.
I heaved a huge sigh and sat on the couch.

"All right Nick spill your sermon and than get out and let me live my life
in peace," I said giving up.

"Why do feel the need to pick up guys use them than toss them aside?  I
still remember what you did to me you know," he hurled at me.  I bowed my
head ashamed at how I had treated Nick.  He was so young when I did that to
him.  Thank God Kevin stepped in and took care of him.  Now the two were
lovebirds crazy in love with eachother.  They had been that way for almost
three years now.

"Nick you don't know how bad I feel about what I did to you.  I hurt you
real bad and I will never forgive myself for that.  But Chris is different.
I think I am falling in love with him."

"Bullshit Brian, you don't know the meaning of the word.  I'm sick and
tired of you hurting people.  I just know you're going to use him and throw
him away like you always do!" he yelled out.  Tears started coming to his
eyes.

"Nicki please don't cry," I begged him.

"Don't call me that!" he hurled at me.  With that said he stormed out of
the room and ran right into a sleepy Chris who was just making his way to
the living room.  "Don't stay with him dude, or he'll break your heart!" he
said sadly as he walked out of the house.  Chris walked over to me and
wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder.  I turned around and
faced him and leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips.  His tongue
probed my lips seeking an entrance.  I allowed him in.  After dueling for a
few moments we broke apart.

"I missed you," he mumbled looking down.  I took his chin and brought his
face up so I could look into eyes.

"I missed you too," I said smiling at him.

"What did he want?" he asked motioning to the door.

"Nick just wanted to lecture me about not using people is all," I told him.

"What is up with that?" he asked me.  "That is not the first time I heard
someone say that.  Kevin said that too."

"I made some real stupid mistakes in my not so distant past.  They want to
make sure that I don't do the same to you."  The doorbell rang again and I
rolled my eyes and headed to answer it.  I pulled the door open and in
walked AJ.

"What do you want AJ?" I asked.

"Wanted to meet the new Boy Toy," he said grinning he ran into the living
room and saw Chris.  "Hmmm not bad, not bad at all.  When you are done with
him send him over to me."  Chris looked at AJ with hurt in his eyes and
dummy me didn't say anything in Chris's defense.  Chris slapped me across
the face hard and took off running out the door.  I swore and took off
after him.

"Did I say anything wrong," snickered AJ.

"Yea ass hole you just hurt my boyfriends feelings and now I may have lost
him!" I sobbed back at him.  AJ took off after me too.  They didn't have
far to run.  They found me sitting on the curb.

"Chris come back into the house please," I begged.  "AJ is just an ass he
didn't know what he was saying."

"Is that true AJ?" Chris asked.  AJ just looked down at his feet not
answering.

"Is that what you do to all of your boyfriends?  When you're done with them
you send them to him?" Chris demanded.  I turned and headed into house
convinced that I had lost him forever.



Ok that is it for the first two chapters.  This one is very different from
the last one.  When you read it let me know what you think.  Please E-mail
me at frnceso@yahoo.com