Date: Wed, 2 Feb 2000 13:45:25 -0800 (PST)
From: Francis O'Ratigan <frnceso@yahoo.com>
Subject: Moving Forward Chapters 3 & 4

I would like to thank the people who sent me e-mails in support of my new
story.  I am going to continue with it.  As before this is complete Fiction
and In no way reflects the sexual orientation of the BSB.  If you are a
minor than scat!!  Come back when you are legal.  And if you are looking
for the sex well you are not going to find it here.  At least not yet.
Although that is not to say that I wont tease you a bit.  Now on with the
Story!

Remember your comments help set the stage for the story.  So e-mail me your
comments or ideas.  frnceso@yahoo.com

Also a real good story to read is Escape.  I recommend it highly.

Justin's Dark Angel is heating up too.

Ones we haven't heard from lately are:

Question of Faith (Still waiting to see how Kevin's trial turns out)

Busta (always looking for Busta's insights to the Nsync world.

And of course we all wait for the return of Tonny the famed author of When
You say Nothing at All.  Will we be hearing from you Tonny anytime soon?
One can always hope.

Don't Want to Loose You is also a good one too.  We haven't heard from that
one in a while.

Moving forward

Chapter 3


I sat on the curb crying.  AJ sat down beside me and put his arm around me.
"God, why am I crying?  I used to be a fucking Marine for Christ sake.
Marines don't cry like babies!" I raged looking up at the sky.

"I think I have an answer to that question if you would like to hear it,"
said AJ rubbing my shoulder.  I looked over at him.

"Why should I listen to you?  All you want is your turn with the Boy toy!"
I hurled at him.  He looked hurt at my harsh words.  "Well isn't that what
you said in there?" I asked.  He nodded yes.  "Ok I'm listening, why am I
acting this way?"

"It's quiet simple really," he said smiling.  "You are head over heels in
love with Brian Littrel.  And he is crazy in love with you."  I shook my
head no and stood up and walked away.  "You can walk away if you want but
it won't change any thing.  You love him and he loves you.  Now are you
going to do something about that?" he asked catching up to me and grabbing
my arm to stop me.

"How do you know its love he is feeling?" I demanded.  "From what I
gathered from you all he acts like this every time a cute guy crosses his
path."

"I've known Brian a long time and he doesn't throw the word love and
boyfriend around lightly.  I've never seen him act this way with any of the
others.  Trust me Chris, he is in love with you and doesn't have clue what
to do about it," he said.

"Well that makes two of us.  I've never really been in love before.  What
are we supposed to do?" I asked.  We started back up the steps that led to
the house.  AJ opened the door and ushered me in.  I walked into the living
room and found Brian lying on the couch.  I could tell that he was crying.
It tore at my heart to see him in pain like that.  I went to his side and
sat down and laid my head on his back.  He sniffled and turned over and
cradled my head in his lap.  "Hey sweetie," I said looking up at his sad
eyes.

"I thought I lost you Chris," he whimpered.  I reached up and touched his
face.  His eyes closed at the touch.

"I don't want to go," I sniffled back.  He smiled and bent down and kissed
my tears away.

"I don't want you to go either," he replied.  AJ grinned and quietly walked
out of the house leaving us alone.  I let Brian hold me for a while.  It
felt right to be held by him.  He smelled good and looked good.  I was in
heaven.  "So what do you want to do now?" he asked playing with my hair.

"I would like to go for a walk," I spoke up.  He grinned and took my hand
and led me upstairs and into the bedroom.  "Uh Brian I thought I said I
wanted to go for a walk," I said starting to get worried watching Brian
strip to his waist.

"I know but if we are going walking we need beach clothes," he said
grinning.  He slipped a wife beater over his head and slid on a pair of
trunks.  I noticed that he had laid out an identical pair of clothes for
me.  I stripped out of my old clothes and into the new ones.  "I know of a
private beach where we can go.  They'll also let us use the beach house if
you want to stay there for the night."  We climbed into my Mustang and
headed out.  I let Brian drive because he knew the area better than I did.
We passed the BMW dealership and I asked him to stop.  I went up to the
salesman and asked him to show me a couple of cars.  I knew what I was
looking for.  I was looking for one just like the one they used on the
NSYNC video.

"Sir I really don't think we have something for you.  This car is a 47,000
dollar car," said the salesman.  I looked at Brian and started laughing.

"Have one ready for me by tomorrow morning at 9:00.  I will paying with a
cashiers check," I told the salesman.  "I want it Blue.  Midnight Blue."

"Sir we need verification of your payment," demanded the Sales Person.

"Look at your lists of Stock holders.  You'll find Chris Ramsey on that
list," I said flashing my Drivers license at him.  He keyed it up on the
computer and his eyes got big as saucers.

"Yes sir!" he sputtered out.  "It will be ready for you first thing in the
morning."  Brian looked at me like I was nuts.

"What's wrong with the car you have now?" he asked pointing at the Mustang.

"Oh I'm keeping her to.  I just want a BMW," I grinned at him.  "Besides,
what good is money if you can't spend it.  Tomorrow I go house hunting," I
grabbed his hand and drug him out to the mustang and we raced off to the
beach.  I noticed that he was quiet.  "A penny for your thoughts?" I asked
him.

"I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to live with me instead of
finding your own place," he replied hopefully.

"Whoa there cowboy," I said not wanting to move that fast.  "Let's take
this relationship a little slow this time around.  Besides I kinda like the
idea of having my own place."  I noticed that he had a disappointed look on
his face but he accepted it.  I noticed that we had gotten to the beach
front as was pulling into the driveway of a very nice beach house.  We took
our stuff in and than headed out to the beach.  Brian was right it was
deserted, not a soul around.  He took my hand and we started walking.
There was a nice breeze blowing from the ocean.

"This is nice," I commented looking at Brian.  He smiled at me and brought
my hand to his mouth and kissed it.  The touch of his lips set me on fire.
We spent the next hour walking and talking quietly along the beach.  At
some point we threw off our shoes and headed into the water.  I enjoyed the
feeling of the water reaching out and hitting our feet.  Some times it
would cover our feet all the way to our calves.  The sun was sitting low
and the sky was cast in a deep rose color.  There was a chill in the air
and I shivered alittle.

"Cold babe?" he asked concerned.

"Only a little," I replied.  So we headed back up the house.  Once there we
threw on some sweats and headed for the kitchen to see if there was any
food.  They had kept the house stocked really well.  I noticed that Brian
was yawning so I convinced him to lie down on the couch while I fixed
dinner.  He reluctantly agreed.  I glanced over at him once again I felt
this surge of intense feeling.  I'm still not sure what it is.  Is it love
or just lust?  I knew I wanted to play this out to the end.  I hadn't come
this far to turn back now.  I turned back and headed into the kitchen.  I
rummaged around the fridge and cupboards and put a meal together.  Nothing
fancy, just some grilled chicken with a light sprinkling of lemon juice
some steamed vegetables and rice.  I uncorked a chilled bottle of
Chardonnay.  I set the dinning room table up with china and crystal.  I lit
two tall candles and than went into wake up Brian.  As I walked in I saw
him lying on the couch.  God he was beautiful.  His arm was thrown over his
head.  His face was a mask of innocence.  His other arm was laid across his
stomach.  I crept forward and lightly kissed his lips.  He moaned a little
and turned over.  I than kissed his neck.  He brushed me away with his arm.
"Ok so this is going to take some work."  I turned him over and planted a
passionate kiss on his lips driving my tongue down his throat.  He woke
with a smile and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down.  After
kissing alittle I notice that he was distracted.

"Is that food I smell?" he asked grinning at me.  I nodded and offered him
my hand, which he accepted. The two of us walked into the dinning room.  It
was surrounded by windows that went from the ceiling to floor.  The
curtains were drawn back so we could get a full view of the ocean.  The
moon was full and the outside was cast in bluish light.  The lights were
turned down in the room so only the candles shown.  I pulled the chair out
for him and motioned him to sit.  He sat and I bent down and kissed him on
the lips before taking my seat.

"This is really nice," he commented looking into my eyes.  I felt like I
wanted to throw myself at him right here and now.  I controlled myself and
took a sip of whine.  "What is on your mind right now, I mean what are you
thinking right this moment?" he asked.

"You want the honest truth?" I asked placing the wineglass down.  He
nodded.  "How much I would love to make love to you right now."  He was
taking a drink and started coughing.  I laughed softly at him.

"Way to make me choke," he said wiping his mouth with a napkin.  "I don't
want to push you into anything that you're not ready for Chris.  I don't
think I am ready for that yet."

"I know I'm not ready but I can't help the way I feel.  I do want to wait.
If we did it now it would ruin every thing," I said.  He looked confused.
"Have you ever been in love before?" I asked.

"I've had crushes before.  But never been in love, I mean head over heels
crazy in love," he explained scrunching up his nose.

"Well I've never been in love before either.  I would never allow myself
that luxury.  I know I'm feeling some pretty strong feelings for you right
now.  But I want to get to know you on as a friend first," I offered.

"But we can still go out and stuff right?" he asked hopefully.  His
expression was so cute that I almost laughed but controlled it.

"You just try and stop me Babe," I said winking at him.  He blushed and
looked down.  "You look cute when you do that," I lightly teased him.  He
blushed even deeper.  "See, you're doing it again," I laughed.  I decided
to drop it.  We finished our first real meal as a couple.  He insisted on
cleaning up.  I heard my cell phone ring and I picked it up.

"Yea this is Chris," I spoke into the phone.

"Yea faggot, you know what we do to faggots like you," said a raspy voice.

"Who is this?" I demanded.  My face must have gone pale because Brian was
right beside me.  "What do you want?" I demanded again.

"I want you and all other faggots dead!" shouted the voice and than the
phone went dead.  I started shaking and I felt Brian's arms around me.  I
stared at the phone in shock.  Who could've called me? I thought to myself.
The phone rang again.  I started to shake again.  Brian took the phone from
me answered it.

"Hello?" he answered the phone.

"Hey Brian!" this is Kevin.  "Can I speak with Chris for a second?" he
asked.

"I don't know Kevin, he is pretty shook up right now." Brian told Kevin.

"What happened?" asked Kevin worried.

"He just got a threatening phone call," Brian told me.  I motioned for the
phone.  "Hold on Kev.  He wants to talk to you," he handed me the phone.

"Hey Kev," I spoke into the phone.  I tried to act cheerful but failed.

"You all right?" he asked.

"Yea it was probably just a Marine trying to spook me," I said trying to
make light of it.  "Now what can I do for you?" I asked glad to change the
subject.

"You might want to have your number changed.  That should put a stop to
that.  Hey I wanted you to come to breakfast in the morning," said Kevin.
"I want to get to know you a little plus I might have a job for you."  Ok
now he had my interest.

"Since when do I need a job Kevin?" I asked a little pissed.

"Well you just got kicked out of the Marines so I figured that you might
need some help," he said quickly.

"You really have no idea, who I am, do you?" I hurled at him.  I handed the
phone back to Brian and stomped outside on to the balcony and sat down in a
chair.  I propped my feet up on the railing.  It was getting cold out and I
was getting cold.  I felt something fall over my shoulders.  It was Brian
he had stepped out on the balcony and had brought a comforter with him.  He
sat down beside and wrapped the comforter around us both.  He handed me my
phone.

"He wants to talk to you again," he explained apologetically.  I shook my
head no.  "Please?" he begged.  I rolled my eyes and took the phone from
his hand.

"Yea Backstreet Boy's latest charity case speaking," I said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, I assumed something I shouldn't.  Can you forgive me?" Kevin
asked.

"Well that all depends if Breakfast is still on for tomorrow?" I asked with
a smile.

"Yea you and Brian are meeting me at 10 in the morning.  And Chris?" he
asked.

"Yea?" I replied.

"I won't push you about the job.  But I still think you will be perfect for
it," I thanked him for the offer and told him I would think about it.  I
slapped the phone flap shut and snuggled up to Brian.  He wrapped his arms
around me and kissed the top of my head.  Than he started gently rubbing
his hand through my hair.  I started giggling because it tickled.  Big
mistake because he started tickling me with a vengeance.  I busted up
laughing until I had tears running down my face.  Finally he stopped and I
resumed my snuggling.  We sat there in silence enjoying Eachothers Company.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he mumbled at me.

"What would you be doing right now if I hadn't of picked you up?" I asked.

"Probably screwing some kid's brains out right now.  Having totally
meaningless sex," he said brutally honest.  I looked up at him in shock.

"Is that how you really are?" I asked still shocked.

"That is how I was Chris, was, is the operative word here," he corrected
me. "And yes that is how I was.  I craved sex.  I had to have it!  But I
realized now that what I really needed was someone to love me.  When I saw
you for the first time I thought you were a God.  I knew that I loved you
the moment I laid eyes on you.  And for the first time in my life my first
thought was, I would love to get to know you as a person.  Not, man I would
love to fuck you.  I tell you that it scared the crap out of me.  I had
trained myself not to care.  But you came along and changed all of that for
me!" he said with conviction.  I stared up at him and looked hard into his
eyes for any sign of deception but found none.

I reached up and pulled his head down to mine and pressed my lips to his
kissing him.  Our tongues dueled for a moment.  I could feel myself getting
aroused and I threw caution to the wind and reached for his belt.  He
stared down at me in wonderment.  I almost got it off and he let out a sob
and stopped me going any further.  I looked up at his face in time to see
tears running down his face.

"No, no," he sobbed.  "I won't do that to you Chris.  I won't use you like
the others.  You are too special for that."  Some where in the back of my
head I cheered for him.  I broke apart and took his hand and led him into
the house and upstairs to the bathroom.  I filled the garden tub with water
and stripped off my clothes and slid into the water.  He stood there
mesmerized by me.

"Join me?" I asked looking him in the eyes.  "I promise to behave."  He
nodded and started taking off his clothes.  God was he gorgeous.  I watched
him slide off his boxers and took a shaky breath as he joined me in the
tub.  He made his way over to me.  His limp cock racked across my stomach
muscles as he leaned down and kissed me.

"Hold me please?" he begged me.  I took him in my arms and cradled him
gently running my hand through his damp hair.  The light of the full moon
came in through the tall windows casting a blue haze around him.  His head
slightly bowed as he stared into the water.  I bent down and kissed his
left shoulder where his tattoo of a cross-graced his skin.  He let out a
small moan.  I kissed his right shoulder and moved to his neck.  After I
totured his nick I covered his cheek and ear with small kisses.  I noticed
his cock was sticking out of water.  I decided that I should calm down.  He
turned the tables on me ravaging my nipples and abs with kisses.  I threw
back my head groaning out his name.  He than traveled up to my neck and
chin.  His stubble racking the side of my face.  He than planted the
gentlest kiss on my lips.  After about 15 more minutes of water wrestling
we climbed out and dried off and after putting on some sweats we made our
way to the living room.  I turned on the gas fireplace and joined him on
the couch.  He snuggled up in my arms.

"I'm sorry if I got you excited," I spoke up.  He looked up at me.

"Don't apologies Chris, I have never had some one do that to me.  You were
so loving and caring.  I had no idea that it could be like that," he said
with tears coming to his eyes.  I leaned down and gently kissed them away.
"You do things to me that no one else has done before," he whispered.

"I've never really been in love before Brian.  So I don't know if this is
love.  But I do know this I don't ever want this feeling to go away," I
said reaching up and stroking the side of his face.  I giggled when I ran
my hand over his stubble.  "You need a shave," I teased him gently biting
his chin.  He giggled at the touch and lightly bit my ear.  We continued
our love biting for a while until we started yawning.  He got up and turned
the fireplace off and took my hand and led me up to the bedrooms.

"I don't want to push you into anything so I will understand if you want to
sleep alone tonight," he said sadly pausing at a door.  So I kissed him
good night and went into the room and went to bed.  An hour later I was
still awake.  I groaned in frustration and turned over for the hundredth
time.

Chapter 4

(From Brian's point of View)

I have been awake for over an hour and a half.  I couldn't get to sleep.  I
was in love and he was in the next room.  He might as well been a hundred
miles away because my heart ached for him.  I need him to hold me so bad.
I heard the door creep open and I looked over at it.  A figure stood in the
door.

"Brian?" asked a sleepy Chris.

"Yea Baby, what do you need?" I asked my hopes rising.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" he asked.

"Only if you want to," I said pulling the blankets down and making room for
him.  He climbed in and wrapped his arms around me tightly.  He kissed my
bare shoulder causing me to shiver a little.  In about a moment he was
asleep.  I listened to him breath for a few moments and soon found myself
drifting off to sleep my self.

I heard someone crying in the middle of the night.  I shook myself awake
and learned that it was Chris.  He was having another nightmare.  He was
sweating and thrashing around again.  I gently shook his shoulder.  He sat
straight up in bed with his eyes wide with fear.  He took one look at me
and punched me in the eye.  I fell out of bed holding my eye.  The loud
crash brought him back to reality.

"Oh God what did I do?" He sobbed taking a look at me holding my eye.  It
was already starting to swell.  He got up and ran from the room

"Chris!" I shouted chasing after him.  "Please don't go!"  I ran down
stairs in time to hear the door to the balcony slam shut.  I slowly made my
way to the doors leading to the balcony.  He was sitting down with his head
in his hands.  He was sobbing.  I was concerned because it was cold and he
was out there in only his boxers.  I opened the door and crept outside.  He
looked up at me tears in his eyes.

"Why wont the nightmares stop?" he wailed at me.  "Please make them stop!"
My heart went out to him and I gathered him in my arms and carried him back
inside.  I turned the fireplace back on and laid him down on the floor on a
thick rug.  I placed his head in my lap and slowly stroked his hair.  He
was still sobbing quietly.

"I'm right here Chris," I soothed him.  "I'm not going to let anything hurt
you babe."  He looked up at me with his tear-swollen eyes and fresh tears
flowed down his face.

"But I hurt you," he sobbed out lightly touching my eye.  I winced at his
touch.  "I don't deserve you."

A knife of fear stabbed my heart.  He was thinking of leaving me and I
didn't want that to happen.  "No Chris, it is I that don't deserve you!
Don't ever say that again.  I know now that I love you!  God I've never
said that to anyone before."  I smiled at the realization.  "I love you!" I
exclaimed enjoying the feeling of saying those words. He reached up and
pulled my head down to his.  His lips lightly pressed against mine.  His
tongue lightly knocking on my lips seeking an entrance.  I gladly parted my
lips to allow him in.  My inquisitive guest entered and started his curious
probing.  It didn't take long before my tongue joined his in our little
duel of control.  He snuggled up to me and before I realized it we were
both asleep.

The sunlight hit me in the face.  I winced and sat up.  Chris was turned
over on his side still sound asleep.  I propped myself up on my elbow and
stared down at him.  He looked just like an angel.  A piece of lint was on
his eyebrow.  I gently picked it away.  He moaned slightly and brushed my
hand away.  I smiled at him and kept looking down at him while he slept.

"You really care about him don't you?" asked a voice.  I turned around to
see Kevin sitting in the couch.  I gently untangled myself from the
blankets and motioned Kevin outside.

"Yea I really do care about him," I said grinning and stretching at the
same tome.


"So did you two do it last night?" he asked grinning.

"No Kevin we didn't do it last night," I said blushing.  At least I felt my
face getting hot.  He looked at me closely.

"Oh my God, you really have it bad for him don't you?" he asked in complete
shock.  I nodded with a silly grin on my face.  He pulled me into a hug.
"Thank God!  It's about time you got bit!" he exclaimed.

"Bit?" I asked confused.

"Helllooo!!" Kevin yelled at me.  "You know the love bug?"  He said
laughing his head off.

"Yea yea real funny Kevin," I replied rolling my eyes at him.  "Now be
quiet before you wake him up.  He had a rough night again."  I felt Kevin's
hand on my chin as he turned my face towards his.

"Nice shiner Cous." I pulled away sitting down.

"I got hit by Chris.  He was still asleep when I tried to comfort him
during his nightmare and I paid the price," I explained.

"Another one?" he asked.  I nodded.  "Hey Brian, I have an idea that you
might want to suggest to him.  Although he might not take it well," he said
slowly.

"Go ahead Kev, I'm listening," I urged him to continue.

"Well you might want to talk to him about talking to someone," he
suggested.

"You mean like a Doctor?" I asked.  He nodded.

"I don't know Kevin.  I'm not sure how he will react to that," I said back.

"Well it is something to think about.  It worked for me when Dad died.  It
couldn't hurt."  We stood up and walked back into the house.  Chris was
still sleeping.  He looked so cute lying there that I almost joined him.
But mean old Kevin pulled me into the kitchen.

"Come on horny toad," he laughed.  "You get to help me with breakfast."  A
half-hour later breakfast was ready and I made my way into the living room
to wake up my sleeping angel.  He was still sleeping when I got there.

(From Chris's point of view.)

I felt a pair of lips press up against mine.  I opened my eyes to see a
smiling Brian staring down at me.  "Come on sweetie, it is time to get up,"
he said smiling.  I groaned and turned over.  "UH Uh Babe, it is time to
get up and eat.  Kevin brought breakfast."

"Food?" I asked perking up at once.  He started laughing at my face.  I
lightly punched him in the shoulder.  "Hey I'm hungry!" I whined.  Brian
pulled me up laughing.  We made our way into the dinning room.  I of course
had my arm draped around Brian's waist.  Kevin waved a piece of toast at me
and resumed eating.  I grabbed a plate and dug in.

"How did you sleep?" asked Kevin.

"Pretty good after the Nightmare, sorry about the eye Brian," I mumbled.

"Don't mention it Chris," he said smiling.  "It wasn't your fault."

"Yea I know but I'm still upset about it.  After all I did hit you dream or
not," I said reaching over and touching his hand.  He squeezed mine back.
"So Kevin, what is this job you want to talk about?" I asked relieved to
change the subject.

"Talking about changing the subject," joked Brian.  I glared at him.

"What did you do in the Marines?" Kevin asked.

"I was in law enforcement," I answered.  I was confused as to what Kevin
had in mind.

"We lost one of our security guys and I think you would be perfect for it.
I mean you are seeing Brian and all and it would give you good excuse to
hang around him and all if you were part of the group," he explained.  I
was in shock.  Kevin was in support of us dating.

"You mean you're ok with Brian and me?" I asked a little shocked.

"I'm not blind Chris.  I see the way he looks at you.  That is love if I
have ever seen it.  And I want him happy and if you make him happy than I
am cool with it," he said smiling.  Brian got up and gave him a hug.

"Thank you for giving us a chance Kevin.  And as soon I know what is
expected of me with the job than I'll let you know if I'll take it.  I
probably will so I can be close to Brian without raising concerns with the
fans."  I was ecstatic at the idea of being with the group on full time
bases.  I looked at clock and saw that it was after nine.  "Uh Brian we
have to pick up my car," I reminded him.  Kevin looked at me funny.

"Chris has been spending his money.  He ordered a BMW sports car.  Just
like the one in the Nsync video.  Only his is going to be midnight blue,"
Brian explained.

"I would be happy to take him down Brian.  Besides I want to feel him in on
what he is to expect with the job," he said.  I could tell that Brian
didn't like the idea.

"I'm going to take a shower Brian, and you two can continue this," I said
getting not wanting to get in the middle of a family argument.  "I was
hoping that Brian and I could spend the day together looking at houses.

While I was in the shower Brian and Kevin were having a talk.

"Why do you want to go with Chris down to the dealership?" asked a pissed
off Brian.

"I want to talk to him about seeing the groups doctor," explained Kevin.

"Don't push him to hard Kevin," warned Brian.  Brian was pissed because he
could tell that Kevin was going into "Dad Mode" again and he didn't want
Chris getting caught in the wake.

"I won't push, Brian.  It's just that I am worried about him to.  He is
nice guy and what that priest did to him is really fucking with his mind.
I would like to help if I could," Kevin said.

"Ok but don't keep him out all day.  He and I are going house hunting
today," Brian warned him.

"Why don't he stay with you?" Kevin asked.

"Because he wants to take things slow.  And so do I.  Although it would be
nice to have him living with me," Brian sighed wishfully.

"You guys still talking about me?" I asked walking into the kitchen.

"Yea but we're done with that, you ready to go?" asked Kevin.

"Yea, Brian you can take the Mustang back to your house and I will meet up
with you later, ok?" I asked.  Brian had this lost puppy look on his face
and I went over and pulled him into a hug and gave him a kiss.  "I promise
not to be gone long," I soothed him.  He kissed me lightly on the lips.  I
turned and walked out of the house with Kevin.  Once we got on the road
Kevin started in.

"Uh Chris?" he asked looking at me.

"Yea Kevin, what is it?" I asked back.

"Well I have something to ask you and I don't want you to take this the
wrong way," he started.

"Ok I'm listening, go ahead and spill," I said not liking where this was
leading.

"Well when I was a teenager I lost my dad to cancer.  And it helped me a
lot to talk to someone about it.  I was carrying around a lot of anger--,"
he started.

"Kevin stop right there, I know where this is headed and the answer is no!"
I said loudly.  He looked at me in shock.  "My mom had me talking to those
docs along time ago.  It didn't help then and it won't help now."

"But what about those nightmares you are always having?" he pointed out.
'Man this guy new where to hit,' I thought to myself.

"What about it?" I asked back.  I could feel my temper rising.  I reminded
myself that Kevin was just trying to help.  With effort I managed to
control it.

"Well they have got to be bothering you.  Wouldn't you like to talk about
it?" he asked pushing.  A warning bell went off in his head but he kept
pushing.  "Come on Chris.  This has got to be bothering you."

"You know what bothers me Kevin?" I asked sarcastically.  He glared at me.
I took a deep breath to calm down.  "Well meaning friends that have my best
interests at heart," I conceded smiling.  "I'm sorry if I am not
cooperating with you on this.  It is just that I don't like spilling my
guts to those doctors," I said visibly shuddering.

"Yea I know what you mean," Kevin said laughing at my reaction when I
mentioned the "D" word.  We pulled into the dealership.  The sales man was
waiting for me standing beside a midnight blue BMW convertible.  I got out
of Kevin's car and went over to inspect it.  After Kevin and I both
inspected it thoroughly I paid for it spent the next 20 minutes getting it
insured and tagged for the road.  Finally it was time to drive my new toy.
I got behind the wheel and pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards
Brian's house.  Kevin was right behind me.  I pulled into Brian's driveway
beside my Mustang.  I hopped out and headed into the house.  What I didn't
notice was the baby blue Nissan truck parked on the other side.  Once I got
to the door. I could hear shouting.

"Where the fuck is he faggot!" shouted a chillingly familiar voice.  I
slammed open the door and ran into the living room.  Four Marines had Brian
cornered.  The one who was doing the shouting was my former best friend
Todd.  He punched Brian in the mouth.  I went nuts and charged in.  Kevin
came charging to.  I grabbed Todd from behind and threw him aside.  He came
at me drawing a knife.  He took a swipe at me.  I felt a hot sensation as
the blade sliced into my stomach.  I closed my mind to the pain.  I kicked
the knife out of his hand and than kicked him in the chest hurling him to
the floor.  He was out could.  I could feel the blood seeping threw my
shirt.  I turned around to help Kevin and Brian fight off the remaining
Marines.  But they had left. I went to help Brian but he ended up helping
me.  I started getting weak and sat down on the floor.  Brian carefully
took off my shirt.  He and Kevin applied a dressing on it to stop the
bleeding.  Kevin called an ambulance and the police.  Brian was right there
beside me holding my hand.

"Chris, come on you'll be alright," he said with tears coming down his
face.  I reached up and wiped them away.

"It is just a simple knife cut Babe.  The docs will stitch it up and I'll
be as good as new," I soothed him.  "You should put some ice to your lip."
He nodded and headed towards the kitchen.  I must've nodded off to sleep or
something because the next thing I heard was a shout from Kevin and two gun
shots.  I shook myself awake and found myself staring in the barrel of a
gun.  Todd was standing over me grinning.

"Now you die faggot!" he said in a deadly calm voice.  He pulled back the
trigger of the gun and I closed my eyes waiting for the end.



Well that is it folks.  I know I know another cliffhanger.

Let me know what you think.