Date: Sun, 7 May 2000 15:57:50 -0700 (PDT)
From: Grant Colby <colby4347@yahoo.com>
Subject: MTV CrossRoads 4

    This story is completely fictional. To my own
knowledge, none of the real life versions of the
people I'm portraying are gay or bisexual. I also have
no affiliation with MTV.


     "I can't find him. I've looked everywhere,"
Justin said, sounding out of breath.

     "He can't have gone too far, he's got to be
around here, somewhere. He wouldn't go out, would he?
I mean, there are fans camped out outside. He knows
that," JC said, thinking out loud and sounding very
worried.

     "What exactly happened, man? I said we should be
supportive of him, not confront him!" Justin's voice
was angry and heavy with accusation.

     "I didn't confront him. He just... it's too
complicated to go into right now, Justin. We've got to
find him. What if he does something stupid?" JC's
voice was taking on an edge of panic.

     "If he did, it's gonna be your fault, JC. Damn, I
shoulda handled it myself but I thought I could trust
you to be a decent human being!" Justin shouted,
glaring at his friend.

     "Justin, I didn't do anything, okay? I didn't
even bring it up!" JC shouted back.

     "That makes no sense! If you didn't do anything,
why'd he run off?" Justin demanded. "Jeeze, I knew I
should have just talked to him myself. At least I
kinda understand what he's going through."

     JC looked at his friend in momentary shock - was
Justin saying he was gay?? But there wasn't any time
for this now. They had to find Lance. If anything
happened to him, JC knew that he'd never forgive
himself. The very thought of any harm coming to Lance
was more than he could bare.

    "We have to find him, Justin. Let's spilt up and
look again. If we don't find him this time, we'll have
to wake up Chris and Joey."

     "Okay. But this isn't over, JC. I wanna know what
you said to him that would affect him this way,"
Justin warned in parting as they separated again to
look for their friend.

                   ****************

     He was shivering in the cold night air, but it
didn't really matter. His arms and legs had gone numb,
and the blowing wind was like one consistent sharp
slap across his face after another, but it didn't
matter. Nothing did, not any more.

     'How could I have been so stupid?' Lance asked
himself for the hundredth time. He was sitting in a
huddled mass on the roof of the hotel, his knees drawn
up underneath his chin. He was still wearing the thing
white t-shirt and gray sweat pants that he'd changed
into when they'd returned to the hotel and his whole
body was shaking from the cold.

     Some part of his mind was urging him to go
inside, knowing that staying out any longer in the
cold night air dressed as he was could prove to be
very dangerous. But he couldn't. He could never look
JC in the face again.

     JC knew, now, that Lance was gay. And that he
thought JC was 'beautiful'. Squeezing his eyes shut,
Lance tried to erase from his mind the image of shock
that had covered JC's face.

     Tears rolling down his face, Lance began to rock
slowly back and forth. JC would hate him now. He'd
think he was a freak. He might even tell the others
and then they'd all hate him. He'd have to leave the
group and his parents would have to find out why. Then
he'd have nobody left, they'd all know what he was.

     "Lance?" He opened his eyes with a start as he
heard the voice call his name. It was Justin's voice
and the tone told Lance that he hadn't been spotted
yet, that Justin was searching for him.

     "Lansten Bass? Are you up here?" Justin called
again. Lance couldn't see the door from where he was
sitting, so he knew that unless Justin ventured
farther out onto the roof, he was safe from discovery.

     Suddenly, without much warning, Lance sneezed
loudly. Holding his breath, he prayed that Justin
hadn't heard him. Because if Justin was up here
looking for him, then it meant that JC had probably
told the other guys about what happened. The very
thought was almost more than Lance could bare.

     "Are you crazy??? You're gonna freeze up, here,
man! C'mon, let's go inside," Justin, alerted by the
sneeze, had quickly found his friend's hiding place.

     "Leave me alone," Lance mumbled, dropping his
head onto his knees, not wanting to even have to look
at Justin and know that he knew.

     "I will not! Lance, you're gonna make yourself
sick up here. Just come inside where it's warm and we
can talk okay?" Justin pleaded, kneeling down beside
his friend and putting a hand on his back.

     Lance began to sob quietly, his head still buried
against his knees. Justin moved his hand up to touch
the back of his head. "Lance, it's okay. I don't know
what JC said to you, but it doesn't matter. Come
inside with me, please? We'll go into my room and we
can talk."

     Lance looked up slowly, his eyes filled with
tears. "You... you don't know what JC said to ME?"

     "Nah. But whatever it was, it doesn't matter,"
Justin said softly. Lance felt a rush of relief. JC
hadn't told anyone what Lance had said or what it had
revealed about him. Still, JC knew, and that was
almost as bad as everyone knowing because Lance cared
for JC the most.

     "I can't, Justin. Just leave me alone, please. I
can't ever face him again," Lance said, his deep voice
breaking as the tears started again.

     'Damn JC!' Justin thought, feeling a growing fury
towards his band mate. What could he have said to
affect Lance this way?

     "Lance, JC doesn't speak for the rest of us,
okay? He certainly don't speak for me, man. I love ya
like a brother, no matter what. Please come inside.
You don't have to see JC, okay?" Justin pleaded again,
his voice growing more desperate. Lance's whole body
was shaking from the cold and he'd already been
outside far too long.

     Lance looked up again, his eyes meeting Justin's.
For a long moment he seemed to hesitate but then he
slowly began to nod his head in agreement. Feeling
relieved, Justin wrapped an arm around his shoulder
and helped him stand up.

     "Let's get you to my room. You can stay the night
there if you want," Justin said softly. Lance nodded
again, feeling suddenly close to Justin and grateful
for his friendship in a way he'd never been before.

     The two of them made their way down the stairs,
Lance still shivering badly and leaning on Justin for
support. They reached their own floor and headed
directly for Justin's room, which luckily was closest
to the stairwell.

     Justin guided Lance to the bed and had him sit
down on the edge. He quickly removed his friend's
shoes and socks and then pulled the t-shirt over his
head. For an instant, Justin couldn't help but admire
his friend's well defined upper body, but he quickly
made himself dismiss any such thought.

    "Here, put this on and then get into bed and under
the covers. You've gotta be freezing," Justin said,
handing Lance one of his own sweat shirts. Lance
obeyed with out saying a word and was soon tucked away
with the blankets on Justin's bed pulled up to his
chin.

     "You need something warm to drink," Justin said
as he turned up the heat in the room. "I'll call room
service and get them to send up some hot chocolate,
okay?" Lance nodded.

     "Are you hungry? Do you want anything else?"
Lance shook his head silently. "Okay, I'll be right
back, then."

     As Justin closed the door he heard Lance sneeze
again and felt a shiver of fear. What if Lance had
really made himself ill by sitting out in the cold
like that?

     "Justin! Any luck?" JC called out as he got off
the elevator and spotted his friend standing in the
hall.

     "Go to bed, JC. Lance is fine. You and I will
talk in the morning," Justin said coldly.

     "He's okay? Is he in his room?" JC asked moving
in the direction of Lance's door.

     "No, he's in my room. And I promised him he
wouldn't have to see you, JC, so stay the hell away
from him, okay?"

     "Curly, I didn't-"

     "Tomorrow, JC. I don't trust myself talking to
you right now. After finding Lance they way I did, I
could gladly kill you for what you did to him," Justin
said.

     "But I didn't-" JC's voice took on a pleading
edge and he tried to reach out and touch his friend on
the arm, to get him to listen.

     "Back off JC! You know what? If you have a
problem with Lance being gay, you've got a problem
with me, too," Justin snapped, turning away from the
guy he'd always thought of like a brother and heading
back towards his room.

     JC felt stunned. So Justin was gay, too? It was
unbelievable! All these years of hiding his own
sexuality from the guys in the group, and both Justin
and Lance were gay, too!

     "Curly, I don't have a problem!" JC called out,
but Justin went in his room and closed the door
without another word.

     "I'm gay, too," JC said softly, to no one in
particular. He turned and went back to his own room,
where he fell backwards on the bed and felt tears
sting his eyes.

     Lance was safe, that's all that really mattered.
But not Justin hated him for something that wasn't
even his fault. In all the years he'd known Justin,
he'd never seen him so angry before.

     'Tomorrow,' JC thought. 'Tomorrow he'll listen to
me and realize that I didn't do anything. And I'll
tell him and Lance that I'm gay, too. Maybe there's
even a chance for me and Lance.' This was JC's last
conscious thought before the sheer exhaustion of the
day's and the night's events caught up with him and
sent him into a deep sleep.

     Back in his room, Justin leaned against the door,
breathing heavily. He'd just pretty much admitted his
bisexuality to JC. But somehow, it didn't matter.
Justin had long since accepted that his bisexuality
wasn't who he was, it was just another part of the
overall package.

     But if JC had a problem with Lance being gay,
he'd now have a problem with Justin's bisexuality,
too. The thought that N Sync might have just reached a
very bitter end over this crossed Justin's mind. Right
now, though, only Lance mattered. Justin had no doubt
that being gay wasn't something Lance had accepted as
easily as Justin had accepted his own sexuality.

     For all he knew, Lance might not have accepted it
at all, and this blow from JC- what could he have
said?- was probably the worst thing that could have
happened.

     Justin made his way over to the bed and was
relieved to discover that Lance was already sound
asleep. Justin carefully sat down next to him on the
bed, doing his best not to wake his friend. He looked
down at Lance's sleeping face and felt an overwhelming
urge to protect him from everything the world might
throw at him.

     Lance shivered in his sleep and made a small
noise, his face creasing with some unpleasant emotion.
Justin softly touched his forehead, feeling for a
fever, and then leaned forward and brushed his lips
softly against Lance's cheek.

     "It's gonna be okay, Lance. You'll see," Justin
said softly. Standing up, he grabbed a spare pillow
and blanket and made a bed for himself on the small
sofa across from the bed. After turning out the light,
Justin crept softly back to the bed and stood looking
down at Lance's face for a few moments, wondering just
what these feelings he'd discovered for his band mate
meant.

                  **************

     "What's the big deal, Cars? You've gone after
under age guys before," Love pointed out over the
phone.

     "No, I've gone after under age CELEBS before,"
Carson Daly pointed out. "There's a difference.
They've got just as much to lose as I do if it gets
out. Can you see Taylor Hanson going public after
sleeping with me? No. It would ruin him. But some
random kid? It could make him!"

     "Do you think the kids going to tell?" Love
asked.

     "I don't know! He said not. Jesus, I coulda sworn
he was at least 19," Carson moaned into the phone.

     "Cars, as long as he's not saving the dress you
came all over, there's no proof of anything."

     "Dress? What?" Carson asked, feeling very
confused.

     "Monica Lewinsky. Never mind! The point is,
there's nothing to back him up if he does tell. Don't
freak out. And next time you pick up a groupie, check
their ID first!" Jennifer Love Hewitt chided
laughingly.

     "I guess you're right, he couldn't prove it. You
know who's fault this is? Justin Timberlakes. If he
hadn't got me all worked up and then shot me down,
this never would have happened," Carson complained.

     "Poor Cars, it's not often you're rejected, is
it?" Love laughed.

     "No, it's not. But I'm going to have Justin, you
watch. Hell, if I want to, I can have every member of
N Sync," Carson bragged.

     "Oh, really? Care to put some money on that?"
Love asked.

     "How much?" Carson asked, feeling the excitement
of a bet tingle through his body.

     "How much did we go for last time, when you said
you could get Fred Durst to let you blow him?"

     "Ummm. I think it was Five Hundred," Carson said,
trying to recall. "You should know, you had to pay
it!"

     "I thought I was pretty safe on that bet, too,"
Love sighed. "I still can't believe he let you."

     "Believe it, babe. It was the best three minutes
of that week for me," Carson laughed.

     "Well, let's see. There's five guys this time,
one of whom hates you. I think we should up the
stakes. Five thousand dollars. But you have to perform
a sexual act with each of them, or you loose," Love
said.

     "Time frame?" Carson asked.

     "I'll be generous. I'll give you a few months.
Shall we say the beginning of April?"

     "I might need a little more time than that. Who
knows how often I'll be seeing them. Let's say the
beginning of May. That gives me about three months,"
Carson said.

     "Deal. You'd better get your checkbook out, Mr.
Daly," Love laughed.

     "We'll see, won't we?" Carson laughed back, his
mood much lighter than when he'd dialed the phone.

                 ****************

     James Van Der Beek felt a thrill rush through his
body at the thought of what he was about to attempt.
Earlier in the day he'd had a conversation with his
costar, Joshua Jackson, which had both enlightened him
and turned him on. Now it was time for him to do
something about it.

     The only person James knew for sure to be
interested in him was Carson Daly, but the TRL host
was a long way from the set of Dawson's Creek. There
were really only two choices for James right now-
someone who worked on the show, either behind the
scenes or a cast member, or a guy from town.

     The second choice was far too dangerous, James
decided. It was best to keep it within the confines of
the show itself, keep it among the Hollywood set, so
to speak.

     With that in mind, James had made his decision
and was now standing hesitantly in front of a door,
trying to think of just what he'd say when it was
opened.

     "James! Hey, what's up?" Kerr Smith asked,
feeling very surprised to find this particular co star
knocking on his door so late. He and James had never
been more than co-workers. In fact, James was hardly
more than co-workers with anyone on the set, despite
the fact that they were so far from Hollywood and had
to band together. Kerr's honest opinion was that James
was very full of himself and took his work far too
seriously.

     "Hey, Kerr. Can I come in? I wanted to work on
that scene we're shooting tomorrow," James smiled.

     "Sure, I guess. Come on in," Kerr stepped aside,
feeling confused. James always worked on his scenes on
his own and was prepared when the cameras rolled, and
God help the actor who wasn't equally prepared. Of
course, he flubbed his lines a lot that afternoon, so
maybe that had something to do with this change in
character.

     "Thanks," James smiled, walking past Kerr and
looking around. "Nice place."

     "Oh, thanks. It's not much, but it's home," Kerr
smiled as he closed the door and joined James in the
apartment's living room. "So what did you want to work
on in the scene?"

     "Well, Kerr, it's like this. I want to try and
play it a different way. See, my theory has always
been that Jack is totally hot for Dawson," James
explained, saying the words he'd been practicing in
his head.

     "Really? Well, I guess that makes some sense. But
remember, Jack is also in a place where he's coming to
terms with being gay slowly. He's not ready to express
attractions or act on anything yet," Kerr explained
the characterization of his own role.

     "Yeah, I get that. It's just, in this particular
scene, I think Dawson feels a little attracted to
Jack, too," James said softly.

     "What?" Kerr asked, surprised.

     "See, Dawson is totally straight. He's in love
with Joey, we all know that. But at the same time,
having Jack come out and being friends with him and
suspecting that Jack's attracted to him... well, it
all makes Dawson very curious. You know?"

     "Curious about what?" Kerr asked.

     "You know. How it would feel, letting Jack suck
his cock. How it would feel to suck Jack's cock. What
it would feel like to have hard, muscular flesh
pressed against his," James said softly, staring
intently into Kerr's eyes.

     "Re-really?" Kerr stuttered a little, unable to
control his voice.

     "Yeah. See, since Jack's joined the football
team, Dawson's been eyeing him in a new way. He's
curious what it would be like to tackle Jack's tight
end," James said the words so seriously that Kerr
couldn't help but laugh a little.

     "Okay. I guess I can accept all that, James. But
what does this have to do with how we're going to play
the scene tomorrow?" Kerr asked.

     "Well, I just want to see how it would play. So
can we run through it once right now, test it out?"
James asked.

     "Sure, I guess. If you want to," Kerr said. He
ran to get his script from his bedroom and came back
to find James standing in the middle of the room,
ready.

     "Hey, Dawson, wait up!" Kerr read his first line.

     "Hey, Jack. What's up?" James recited his own
line from memory, putting the emphasis on the word
'up' to make it sound sexual.

     "I wanted to talk to you about Joey," Kerr
continued to read his lines.

     "Why? I'm not exactly Joey's favorite person
these days," James said, moving closer to Kerr.

     "I'm worried about her, she's-" Kerr stopped
reading and gasped as James suddenly sank to his knees
in front of him and started unzipping his jeans.

     "James, what the hell-"

     "Jack, you shouldn't worry about Joey. She can
take care of herself. Speaking of taking care of
yourself, aren't you getting tired of beating your
meat alone in bed at night? I know I am," James stayed
in character as he began to improvise.

     Kerr gasped as James reached inside his pants and
grasped his cock, which was already starting to get
hard. "What... what did you have in mind, Dawson?"
Kerr asked, tossing the script to one side.

     "I was just thinking, Jack, you and I could have
some fun together," James said softly as he brought
his mouth to Kerr's cock, tasting another guy for the
first time in his life.

     "Oh, Ja- Dawson, that feels soo good," Kerr
moaned as James slowly but steadily took a few inches
down his throat.

     "You taste good, Jack," James moaned. He began
bobbing his head up and down the hard six inches
sticking out of the fly of Kerr's pants.

     "Dawson, I've always fantasized about sucking
your cock while you sucked mine," Kerr moaned.

     "Let's make that fantasy come true, then, Jack,"
James smiled, standing up and quickly removing his own
pants as Kerr discarded his own.

     The two actors moved into position, each laying
on their side facing the other's cock. Before James
even had a chance to take Kerr's back into his mouth,
his costar had already engulfed the entire length of
James's hard cock.

     As the two lay there, each swallowing the others
large cock, the ones blonde hair contrasting perfectly
with the other's black hair, many thoughts went
through James's mind.

     He couldn't believe he was actually sucking cock.
Without ever admitting it to himself before, he'd
always had a fantasy of doing so. Having a hard,
fleshy cock in his mouth, dripping sweet pre cum felt
incredible.

     Without warning, Kerr's cock suddenly exploded,
filling James's mouth with a bitter flood of cum. The
very taste sent such a thrill through his body that he
felt his own climax arrive suddenly. The feeling of
Kerr's warm mouth wrapped around his dick as his jizz
burst from it was the most intoxicating feeling James
had ever had. In the ecstasy of the moment, he
greedily swallowed ever drop Kerr had deposited into
his mouth.

     Both guys rolled away from one another so that
they were lying on their backs, facing the ceiling.
"That was incredible, Dawson," Kerr said.

     "You've got an incredible mouth, Jack," James
replied. After a few moments of lying there, getting
their breathing under control, James sat up.

     "Well, Kerr, thanks for working on the scene with
me. I think we'd better play it more traditionally,
though, when we're shooting tomorrow."

     "Yeah, I agree. After all, it is set in the
cafeteria," Kerr smiled.

                ******************

     Across the country, in a hotel room in Big Bear,
California, Lance Bass tossed and turned in his sleep,
shivering and calling out from time to time as his
dreams took on the feverish forms of nightmares.



 To be continued. Write to colby4347@yahoo.com This is
the final chapter in which James Van Der Beek will be
included. The action is going to center around N Sync
and the TRL crowd more now. :)