Date: Thu, 31 Aug 2000 22:37:06 GMT
From: chris lerman <chris_lerman@hotmail.com>
Subject: My Broadway Romance: Chapter 2

My Broadway Romance by Chris Lerman

* * * * *

Disclaimer: This is a story that is pure fiction only.  The sexual
prefrences are unknown to anyone.  If you are above the age of 18 please
enjoy but if not please leave then.

Well here it is people my second chapter.  I have some people to thank that
helped me with revisions and they are Schuyler, KB, and Jesssyka you guys
are a great help to me.  I also want to thank RCJ, K_Magic, Dayse and all
the people on the chat room who gave me the courage to take this story and
make it a reality.  I have been very busy and I have ideas simmering in my
brain and I will try to handle the story when I can I promise it will be
steady but will take it's time.  I love feedback so please please e mail me
at chris_lerman@hotmail.com

* * *Chapter 2* * *

     I did not know where my feet were taking me as I walked through the
cold dark night.  My head was spinning with a million thoughts and fears as
what I was going to do without my Matt. The one love in my life was gone
and yet he knew somehow that there will be someone to love me again and
Cathy seemed to know this also.  This was not the time to deal with that
issue, I looked around at where I was and found I had made it to the Park
and to the trail that Matt and I loved to walk together every night at
sunset.  I made it to a park bench and sat down in a heap and just lost it
and started to cry and did not even notice someone calling my name...

J.C.: Chris?

Chris: Matt?

I looked up with my tear stained face hoping it all had been a bad dream..

J.C.: It's J.C. Cathy told me where you were when I got there.  Are you OK?

I broke down when I heard what had just been asked of me

Chris: I just lost the one true love of my life J.C!  Matt was my whole
world he was everything to me he helped me through when Joshy had Pnumonia
and almost died, he kept me together more as I can say that I could have
done for myself.  I needed him and he left me when I needed him the
most. But why?  He was fine before a month ago?  I will always love him
with all my heart and soul J.C. when he was dying he told me that I will
learn to love again the way that I had loved Matt.  Cathy knows this
too...is there something I need to know here J.C.?

J.C.: Chris...Sweetie...You need to listen to what Matt told you, he's
right but I can not say when and where it will happen...but it will happen
I promise you that.  Let's get you home and warmed up and into bed you have
had a very hard night and you need to sleep.

I gave J.C a look of panic about going back to where Matt was and J.C.
picked up on this right away and took me into a warm hug

J.C.: Sweetie, he is not there now.  They came to get him after you left
there is no need to worry about the arrangements they have been made.  Matt
wanted to be cremated so I took care of the paperwork before coming to look
for you.

We were walking on our way back home and J.C. was talking to me and I was
just being able to make it out what he was saying to me in the state I was
in I was not good for much of anything.

J.C.: Chris it will be only me, you, and Cathy at the service...I also
called your mom and she will be coming also.

Chris: What about Matt's parents?  Will they be there?

I looked at J.C. and he got this pained look in his eyes and I saw tears in
his eyes

Chris: J.C. What is it?  They will be there right?  Talk to me?

J.C.: Chris...Sweetie I think there is something that you should know about
Matt that he should have told you a long time back...When Cathy and I first
introduced you to Matt I was the only one who knew Matt was even gay...and
you both fell in love and I kept telling him you should come out to his
folks and tell them.  Well that night he arranged for a dinner party for
myself and them you were in school at the time and then he told them and
when he did they just went nuts.  They said they did not want him in their
lives any more and they basically stormed out of there and when I did not
move they said they would tell my parents but I did not care.  When they
left Matt broke down screaming and sobbing and I was there for him that
night and ever since.
  He was my baby cousin and we did everything growing up together.  He
begged me not to tell you and I promised with a heavy heart and kept the
secret until now.  They are not coming to the service and I do not want
them there even if they did show up!

Chris: I can't believe he kept this from me all this time.  But they are
his parents why are they doing this?  Mom would never do that to me I know
but we are not all that lucky in life I guess.  I thank you buddy for
helping me and still being a part of my life.

J.C.: I am never gonna leave you buddy.  You are still family to me even if
you guys did not get married.

When he said this a warm smile came to me because I was lucky to have him
in my life as a reminder that Matt was a part of him as he was to me.  We
had by this time reached the apartment and I stumbled inside and with the
help of Cathy and J.C was helped into bed when sleep overcame me at last
and I did not know anything until the next afternoon when I woke up.

     The next few days were a blank for me.  Mom came as soon as J.C. had
called her and she left Josh with Aunt Helen.  I loved mom for the reason
that if one of her babies were in trouble she'd drop everything and come to
help out.  Mom and Cathy basically helped take care of everything I was too
out of to do, the cooking, the cleaning, things like that.  The day of
Matt's Service was a day I want to forget about but I knew that I had to be
strong if not for J.C. then for Matt I knew he was watching from wherever
he was and I also knew that I kinda knew what I wanted to say as a tribute
to him because J.C. said I should say something because he was my lover and
we were so close and he gave me the freedom to back out of it if it came to
be too painful but it was my last good-bye to Matt and I was going to be
strong and deliver it myself.  I was weak with sobs and I do not remember
much of what happened but as I remember going up to the mic and I started
to talk

Chris: Matt, wherever you are now I want you to know that I love you with
all my heart and soul.  I miss you, your laughter, your smile, the way you
held me when I had a bad dream.  We had our share of good and bad times
didn't we sweetie?  I will promise you always to go on living but it will
be hard for me to move on without you.  I know a lot of people miss you, I,
mom, J.C., Cathy, and especially Joshy.  He knows nothing of this and I do
not know how I am going to tell him.  I love you Matt and a lot of people
know how happy we were together and that is very dear to me...I want you to
know how much you have changed my life for the better and what the person
you see before you now was not the same person back then.  I thank you for
that and I...

I was overcome with grief by this time and even though I knew J.C, Mom, and
Cathy were there for support I lost it completely and I was heaving
inbetween long and painful sobs when I blacked out and collapsed on the
floor and I remembered only saying one last good-bye to the one true love
of my life and then nothing.

     I woke up the next morning and was told by Cathy that I was a wreck
and was sobbing so badly that I had to be taken home and put to bed and
then I remembered the last thing I did before I blacked out I had gone over
to where Matt was lying and I brushed his face lightly and gave him a kiss
on the lips one last time he was so cold and I knew then he was truly gone
and then I lost it and there we are up to date.  Cathy told me that Mom had
to go home and pick Joshy up and that we will see them next week for
opening night.  It hit me what was I going to tell Joshy about Matt and me
being gay?  Mom and Cathy told me to wait until I was ready and strong
enough and I agreed to do this.

     The Opening was drawing ever nearer and the preview period is where I
was my brightest I knew every move and every line and was great, but on the
home front I fell into a state of deep isolation and was a zombie I was not
sleeping well, not eating well and was very moody and was not very stable
either no one could reach me not mom, not cathy, not even Josh.  But I was
going to get a pleasant surprise though when Opening night came around.  It
came on a bright beautiful Saturday morning where the sky was a bright
shade of blue, the birds were singing, and the sun was shinging and I woke
up feeling all kinds of emotions and not knowing what to expect made my way
into the bathroom and then onto the kithchen but then I heard voices and
knew it had to be Cathy and J.C. I walked by but then heard my name
mentioned and stood by the door on the outside listening to what was being
said.

Cathy: I don't know what to do J.C.  He won't eat, he's not sleeping well,
he goes into fits of crying when I'm not expecting it, and he hasn't called
or seen Joshy in 3 whole weeks...maybe it is time to make our move tonight.
Does he know anything yet?

J.C.: No, he does not he is in the dark about it.  He is as lonely as Chris
is and also he needs someone like Chris to make him happy just like Matt
made Chris happy...this is going to be great Cathy I am so excited and can
not to see the look on Chris's face as well as his face.

Cathy: Just make sure the guys are there on time for Act One Curtain and
have him ready to know which one Chris is...I know they will be both very
happy together.

I kinda knew who they were talking about, and I knew because Matt was
talking to someone on the phone and was being very secretive about a week
or so before he died and also Cathy was acting very secretive when she was
going out to talk with J.C. and I kinda put one and one together and I am
glad that I had a pair of 2 crazy loving people to go setting me up again.
Was it too soon?  I'm not sure, but love happens to people when least
expected as I was to find out in time.  I promised Matt to love again and I
knew this but it was going to take time and maybe it was pointless right
now but I knew I had no control over who I fell in love with or the other
way around.  I gave a sigh and bounced into the kitchen all bouncy and
chipper even though I was a mess inside but did not let them see it now was
my time to shine and shine I was going to do.  I was like Tigger which was
my and Joshy's favorite Character.

Chris: Good morning all!  I am so looking forward to Opening and seeing
Joshy and maybe have a certain surprise waiting for me tonight but who
knows what that will be.

Cathy: Hi Sweetie, glad to see you feeling better and yes you will have a
great Opening night tonight but we have no idea of any surprise for you
tonight do we J.C.?

J.C.: No we sure do not Chris.

I could see through their smiles and was feeling a warm glow and knew
tonight was to change my life for the better forever and I know that Matt
would be right with what he had made me promise the night he died.

     The rest of the day was spent getting ready running errands, getting
gifts for the cast and all that sort of thing.  Before I knew it it was
time to go to the theatre and I was going to see everyone at Intermisison
and at the end of the preformence.  The Opening night was a sell out and
when the part came for my solo part of "76 Trombones" I looked into the
audience and saw Mom, Cathy, Joshy had wanted to sit on J.C.'s lap and they
had been as close as Matt had been with him and then I saw 4 other guys
sitting next to J.C. and one in paticular was watching my every move with
keen interest and beaming from ear to ear and I knew it may be Justin and I
fell in love on the spot on stage but was going to take it very slowly and
not wanting to get hurt again I hope that Justin would understand this when
it came time to meet and talk to him after the break.  Who knew what was to
happen in the months that followed.

T.B.C.