Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2004 16:15:38 EDT
From: Capricorn77Dude@aol.com
Subject: Free From Within Part 3

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything
about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal
knowledge about their private lives.

Free From Within: Part 3
_____________________________________
March 2001

"Hold on, I swear you just said your pregnant."

"Craig, I am.  I am pregnant." she sobbed.

"Britney...how...I mean I know how...who?"

	She started to sob harder, so I just kept my arm around her and she
buried her face in my shirt.  Dom smiled and played with her hair.  We just
sat there for awhile.  I rubbed her back as she cried.  I knew that right
now the best thing I could do was just be there for her.

	Eventually the tears abated and she lifted her head up and looked
at Dom.  He reached for her and she took him in her arms.  She smiled at
him and he reached for her hair again.

"Oh gawd.  I'm gonna have one of these." she said with a laugh.

"Brit, your gonna be ok."

	She side glanced at me with a sad smile.

"Craig, don't tell anyone.  Please?  Not even Howie.  I just...I don't know
what I am going to do yet."

	She looks at Dom and strokes the side of his face.

"Craig, I'm scared.  So scared and I just need to know that I have someone
here for me."

"Brit, I am here.  For whatever ok?  You just ask.  Dom and me are at your
service." I say with a laugh.


	And so our afternoon goes.  We sit in Brit's bedroom and just be.
We play with Dom and when he falls asleep in her arms she smiles.  We take
him down to the living room and lay him on his blanket while we go into the
kitchen for food.  Brit sits down while I look for something to make.

"Girl, you live like a single man.  There is nothing in these cabinets but
junk food!"

"Boy you sound just like my mama!  When she comes to visit we go to the
store and she stocks me up on `real food'."

"That's what we'll do later ok?  Right now we are ordering take out."

"Yum!  Golden Dragon has the best moo goo gai pan!" she says.

	I get on the phone and order a variety of take out and am told it
will be delivered in a half hour.  I get off the phone and take a look in
her fridge.  Drinks are not a problem.  I grab a cherry coke for myself and
a coke for her.  I sit across from her and smile.

"What?" she asks.

"What do you mean what?" I say.

"Your sitting there with a goofy smile."

"Sorry, its just...well when Howie left today I was kinda sad and now I'm
not as much because I got you to hang out with."

	She reached across the table and grabbed my hand to squeeze it.

"Your like my best friend Craig.  Since becoming a pop star I have not been
as close to my other friends.  They are still there and all but they don't
get it.  Not like you do.  Its sad but sometimes famous people get along
with other famous people better."

"I know, I hate to think of what Dom's going to be like.  He getting raised
by us, who knows what his friends will be like?"

"Well, maybe ours will be friends..."

"Brit, do you want to talk about it...?"

"Yeah.  Because right now I have been keeping this to myself for so long
that I am going crazy."

"When did you find out?" I ask.

"My last period was in November.  At first I just thought it was stress.
Then in January I got checked up and found that I was pregnant.  I am three
and half months."

"You've known since January and have just been sitting on it?  Brit you
could have come to me sooner!"

"No I didn't think I could.  When I found out for sure you were still on
your honeymoon.  Then it was your birthday and then the drama started with
the guys.  I didn't want to bother you with my problems."

"But Brit, you're my friend.  I think of you like a sister.  Don't ever be
afraid to tell me something again!"

	The doorbell rang and I went to answer it while Brit check on Dom.
It was the food, so I paid with my credit card and carried the load of food
into the kitchen.  I pulled out all the containers and found some plates
and silverware and had everything set up and still no Brit.  I went to
check and found her standing over Dom just watching him.

"Pretty amazing huh?" I asked.

"So amazing.  And beautiful."

"C'mon, lets eat."

	We went back in the kitchen and started to eat.

"So you found out and then what?" I asked.

"I freaked.  I didn't know what I was going to tell anyone or what I was
going to do.  I still don't.  I tried to do some shows and had to cancel.
Then I went back home to see my family and couldn't do it.  They were all
so concerned but I didn't want to tell then until I knew what I was doing.
And if I told them sooner they would try and influence me."

"But Brit, what are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure.  I am definitely not getting an abortion.  The thought
crossed my mind for one second and it was gone.  I know I am going to have
it, but I don't know from there."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I could give it up for adoption.  I know my momma would raise it.  Or I
could keep it.  But then I think how?"

"How what?"

"Craig, you don't get it.  Right now I am at the top of my game.  Look at
Madonna.  She worked long and hard to get where she is.  She didn't start
having babies til now.  If I try and be a mom what's going to happen to my
career?"

"Plenty of people have careers and are parents.  Pat Benatar did it."

"Haha, watching Behind the Music lately?  Yeah but she had her husband
there."

"Oh and this guy wouldn't want to help you, huh?"

"I don't know."

"Does he know?"

"No!"

"Do I know him?"

"Craig please don't ask that right now."

"Okay."

"So its hard to think about what I am going to do once its born when I
think of what's going to be happening while I am carrying it.  I get
slandered because of the way I dress, what's going to happen now?  My image
is out the window.  Single pregnant girl.  Yeah, parents want that to be
there daughters idol."

	We sat in silence for a bit as we ate and I thought about what
Britney was saying.  Then I thought of something.

"Okay I know this is totally Valley of The Dolls, but what if you kept
things up like normal until you started showing and then went into the
studio and out of sight til the baby was born.  Then if you weren't going
to keep the baby no one would have to know."

"That is so Valley of the Dolls, but it could work.  The weight gain could
be worked in too.  See this is why you are my best friend Craig!" she said
and jumped up to hug me.

	We sat there finishing our food and tossing around the idea.  So
far it sounded like it was Brit's best bet.  The old Brit started to come
back.  She scarfed her food and was smiling a little more.  I had helped
take that weight off of her.  We cracked open our fortune cookies and read
our fortunes.

"Okay read your but remember to end it with `in bed'." she said.

"You will find true happiness.........in bed" I said and we started to
laugh.

"Okay my turn.  You will find the secret to success......in bed!"

	We laughed til we were holding our sides.  After that we started to
pick up the dishes and clean up the kitchen.  Then we heard Dom cry from
the living room.  We went in and I picked him up.  As soon as he was
against my chest he started to quiet.

"He's probably hungry.  I should get to the house and make him a bottle. "
I said.

"Yeah you probably gotta get going." Brit said.

"You know what?  Pack a bag, your coming to our house.  Its just me and the
little guy right now and we could use some company."  I said.

	Brit smiled and hugged me.

"Give me five minutes." she said and went to her room.

	I sat on the couch and rocked Dom in my arms.  He looked up at me
and reached for my face.  I lowered towards him and he rubbed my lips with
his finger.  I kissed it and he cooed.

"Hmm, going to be a romantic eh?" Brit said from behind us.

"Like fathers like son." I smiled.

	Brit had two bags, so I took one and she took Lucky's leash.  We
walked out of her house and saw the security guards across from her house.
As we walked the car followed freaking Brit out.

"Craig, we're being followed."

"No, its our security. "

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

	We got to the house and as Brit settled in the purple room, I made
Dom a bottle and checked the messages.

"You have nine new messages."

	I pushed the button for them to play.

"Message left today at one pm.  Hello Craig, this is Andy from the
Advocate, I talked to you last fall about an interview about coming out in
Hollywood and you had said you were interested, my editors suggested a new
interview if you were interested.  We would like to interview you and Howie
on coming out, marriage and raising a family in the celebrity world.  If
you are interested please give me a call back."

"Message left today at one-fifteen pm.  This message is for Craig and
Howie.  This is Ananda Lewis.  I was wondering if the two of you would like
to come on my show and let me interview you.  Call me!

"Message left today at two-thirty two pm.  Howie this is John just calling
to see what is happening lately with you bro, haven't heard from you and
mom was telling me about the stuff happening lately.  Hope all is well.
Give me a call when you can."

	I forwarded that one to Howie's cell.

"Message left today at two-forty five pm.  Craig, this is Judy and I was
just calling to let you know the family will be in town in few weeks and we
were wondering if maybe we could see Dom while we are here.  Call me and
let me know."

"Message left today at three pm.  Craig this is Mom just calling to see if
you wanted to come to dinner tonight.  Your aunt and cousins are down for
the week and would like to see you and Dom sometime.  Love you."

"Next message, left today at three thirty five pm.  Hey lovebirds, this is
Aaron just calling to see how your doing after the media blitz.  Call me."

"Next message left today at four oh two pm.  Hey babe, we just got in and I
wanted to call and see how my babies are doing.  I miss you both and can't
wait for you to come to Orlando to see us.  Love you sweets."

"Next message left today at eight thirty three pm.  Hey, its me again.  We
just got out of rehearsals.  Fatima is working us hard!  But I just wanted
to hear your voice before I turned in.  Call me babe.  Love you."

"Next message left today at nine thirty five pm.  Craig where are you?  I
have been calling home and cell and can't find you.  Please call me when
you get this message. "

"You should give him a call Craig, he sounds real worried." Brit said from
behind me. "Here, I'll take Dom for you."

	I handed him to her and she grabbed the bottle and went into the
family room and turned on the TV.  I picked up the phone and dialed Howie's
cell.

"Hey baby."

"Where have you been!!"

"I was over at Brit's this afternoon.  I left in a hurry and must have
forgot my cell phone here.  Everything ok?"

"Now that I hear your voice it is.  I miss you baby. "

"And I miss you, but it must feel good to be together again with the guys
and getting ready to hit the stage soon."

"Yeah but I am nervous too.  There was a lot of bad reactions to this."

"I know baby, but just be confident and now that your four best friends are
right there with you and that the two of us are here in Tucson thinking of
you."

"I just wish you were here.  But I have to watch myself on how often I
bring you guys along.  Management kinda has me on probation."

"What?"

"Yeah when we got in I was told the do's and don'ts.  They realize we are
together and have a kid but they want to control what they can.  They feel
its best that for the first month you guys don't come join us.  That's why
I left you that message about Orlando.  That will be the show where you
guys get to come.  And Europe.  They have okayed as much of Europe as you
guys want to be on."

"Aww isn't that nice."

"Babe..."

"I know Howie, well hey I got Brit here with me...she's gonna spend some
time with me and Dom so we don't get lonely."

"Sleep over eh?"

"Yeah.  Dom needs to get to know his aunt Brit."

"Sweet.  Baby boy been behaving?"

"When doesn't he?" I asked.

"This is true."

"Howie, we got two more messages about interviews today."

"From who?"

"Andy from the Advocate and Ananda."

"Andy's the one who was supposed to interview you right?  We liked him."

"Yeah that's the one.  They want to interview us about being out, married
and raising a family in the pop world."

"I don't know babe.  Management has to make that decision."

"What!?"

"Craig you knew this was how it was going to go."

"This is crap Howie.  We can't even talk about ourselves without their
permission?"

"Babe, this is my career.  And the guys."

"Arggh.  I hate it when your right."

"I know."

"Alright baby, have a good night and call me tomorrow ok?"

"Ok, I love you Howie."

"And I love you Craig."

	We hung up and I went into the living room with Brit and Dom.  He
had finished his bottle and was asleep in Brit's lap.  She smiled up at me.

"Wanna put him to bed?" I asked her.

"Yeah."

"Cool, I'll be down here." I said and plopped down on the couch.

	I flipped through the channels and found a Real World marathon in
progress.  Always good for a laugh.  About fifteen minutes later Britney
came down and joined me.  We lay on the couches and mindlessly watched the
drama unfold again and again and again.

"Do you think I should keep the baby?"

"What?" I asked.

"Do you think I should keep my baby." she asked and sat up.

	I sat up as well and looked at her.  She was seriously asking me
this.

"Britney, I would.  But that's me.  I don't know what to tell you.  The
decision is yours.  The decision you make is going to have consequences."

"Can it, if you were me what would you do."

"Keep the baby and screw the consequences."

"So what if your career just ended because of it."

"So be it.  But I don't think it will.  Besides you need to grow as an
artist.  Your not the same girl from Baby One MoreTime or even Oops."

"I know.  That's why I think......I want to keep my baby.  And turn my
career around."

"How so?"

"I want my next album to be more adult.  To lose the innocent little girl
image.  To be a parent.  Single.  To be as happy as you are when your
holding Dom."

"Sounds like you made up your mind Britney."

"I think I have."

"So in this new imagery, do you still go into hiding for the final part of
your pregnancy?"

"Nope, because then I am not being true to it.  What would my child think
years from now when they read about their mom hiding them in shame from the
world."

	I smiled at Britney.  She was literally growing up before my eyes.

"You know what you gotta do now right?"

"Uh-huh, but not yet.  I will go to Louisiana and tell my family soon.  But
not right now.  For now can we just not talk about it and just hang."

"Me be there for you and you be there for me?"

"Yeah."

"Deal."

	We hug and laugh.  Then we lay on the couch and watch TV.  Me
reclined with Brit's head on my lap.

	The next morning we get up late and I tell Britney that to grow up
she needs to keep a better kitchen.  I take her to the store for supplies.
For us both.  We go to Cosco.

"The problem with groceries is that with touring and appearances I never
know when I am going to be home and it makes it hard to keep stuff fresh.
By the time I get back its gone bad." she says.

"That's why you get a lot of the freezer stored stuff.  And in some cases
you get stuff that can be frozen so when you do get home you just thaw it
instead of toss it."

	We go up and down the aisles getting the essentials: meat, frozen
entrée's, and of course junk.  We go a little crazy.  We get the economy
size bags of chips, cookies and candy.  By the time we finish and load up
the Jeep its filled to the roof.  We get to the houses and unload the
groceries.  Then I accompany her to a doctor appointment.  She is seeing
Dr. Hannigan, Dom's pediatrician.  He tells her the normal: healthy diet,
vitamins and exercise.  She asks him about stretch marks and c-section.

	We leave and go to my place.  I tell Brit some of the tricks my mom
told Beth.  Vitamin E oil on the stomach lessens the stretch marks.  We
talk about how its possible she isn't going to have that tight stomach ever
again, but then we look at Madonna and others, with a personal trainer she
should have no problem.

	The next step is plotting out how to tell.  Her family is planned
for a week from now.  Dom and me will accompany her on our way to the BSB
show.  After the family it will be the management and from there they will
work with her on the public part.

"Now Brit, the worst part is going to be the father.  Everyone is going to
want to know who. "

"I know Craig.  But I don't want anyone to know."

"Okay, don't get mad...do you know?"

	Britney is silent for a moment and I prepare to be hit.

"Yes. "

"Aren't you afraid he's gonna know when it comes out that your pregnant?"

"No, it was a one time thing and it was a situation that I don't think he
will clearly remember."

"Okay Brit this is getting soap operaish.  What do you mean?"

"It was a party, he was beyond wasted, he hit on me, I went with it...I was
drunk as well...we slept together and when it was over I left.  The next
day he didn't remember the who he just thought it was a girl from the
party.  So no, he won't know the baby is his."

"Oh."

	With that Britney leans over and whispers in my ear the name.  I
snap back with a shocked look.

"NO!" I gasp.

"Yes."

"You didn't."

"I did."

"But I thought he..."I stammer.

"You were wrong."

"wow."

"Yeah."

"Oh but Brit, bright side, your baby is gonna be gorgeous!  With your and
his looks!"

"They will won't they?"

"You hadn't thought of that."

"Honestly Craig til we started talking I hadn't.  But yeah.  Oh my gawd.
Boy or girl my baby is gonna be hot!"

	We bust up into laughter.  We plan for the trip Louisiana and Brit
works with her tour schedule.  She is set to start in April and go through
the summer and is trying to figure how it might be affected.  We are both
at a loss until we talk to management.

	I call Howie every day and we talk and it is very hard not to tell
him about what is happening but I promised Britney.  I do tell him that we
are flying in to Louisiana with her before we go to Orlando.

	We arrive in Louisiana and get picked up from the airport by Lynn.
She exclaims over me and Dom.  She seems like a sweet lady and I am at once
drawn to her as I was to Brit.  I can see they share a common personality.
And along for the ride is Jamie Lynn.  She looks just the mini version of
Brit.  She at once wants to hold baby boy.

	We load into the car and are en route to Brit/Lynne's home.  We
drive up to the gates and see the fans.  They cheer when they see Brit and
she waves at them.  We pull in through the gates and I am in awe and the
beauty of the landscape and the mansion.  It is something from Gone With
The Wind.

	We get into the house and I settle me and Dom into our room and
then join the family out by the pool for lunch.  I meet Britney's brother
Bryan and her dad Jamie.  Very nice family.  The seem to love me and Dom.
Her mom tells us that she was outraged that Jive did what they did to me
and Howie.

"I can't believe the boys are being put on probation!" she says.

"Probation?" I ask.

"That's what I call it when a couple are not allowed to see each other."
she replied.

"I know, but I try to tell myself if we go along it will be ok.  But I got
this bad feeling."

"Honey go with that feeling.  It means something isn't right."

"Mama!  We're not here to talk about that." Britney says.

"Well honey what would you like to talk about then?" Jamie asks.

	Oh crap.

"well...I wanted to tell ya'll something, that's why I asked for you to be
here when we came in."

"Well spit it out sis." Bryan says.

"I'm pregnant.".

	Pin drop.  Shocked faces.  3....2....1....Reaction......

"Your WHAT?!" Bryan yelled.

"Cool, I'm gonna be an aunt!" Jamie Lynn said.

	Meanwhile the parents looked shocked and speechless.  And these
were the two reactions Britney was depending on.  She looked from one to
another waiting.  Lynn is the first to react.  She stands up and goes to
Britney and embraces her tightly.  Jamie follows in the same suit.  They
all start crying leaving Jamie Lynn with a confused look.

"Why are they all crying?" she asks.

"Cause we're happy baby." Lynn says and pulls her into the hug.

	Bryan gets into it as well while I sit with Dom in my lap.  He
starts laughing causing everyone else to do the same.  After the hug breaks
we spend the rest of the afternoon talking about it all.  There is a little
awkwardness when Brit won't say who the father is.  Her father blows up and
is afraid that the public is going to call her a slut for not knowing who
the father is.  Lynn backs Brit and states that she knows who the father is
but doesn't want the public to.  For the most part they are happy and are
supportive.  The hard part is calling the management.  They set up a
meeting with them for the following day.

	That night we all retire to bed and Brit comes into mine and Dom's
room.  She hops up into the bed and I put my arm around her.  We just lay
there for awhile.

"Telling my family was scary but now that its over I feel like the worst is
behind me.  Is that weird?" she asks.

"Nah, your just relieved is all."

"Even if management tells me this is going to end my career and it does, I
don't care.  I have my family and friends who love and support me.  Hell, I
have money and investments that properly managed will keep me and my child
well off."

"So your not afraid of losing your dream?" I ask.

"Yes.  I worked all my childhood for it.  But if its a choice between a
dream and my child then its a no brainer."

"I know.  I dreamed of making it as an actor.  The plan was to start in
television and work my way through movies til I became solid.  But the plan
got halted in the first act.  "Do you ever regret it Craig?"

"Sometimes.  But then I look at what I gave it up for and it is totally
worth it."  I say with a smile.

"I just hope that someday I will find a man who loves me like Howie loves
you."

"Someday Brit, your prince will come."

	We giggle and before I know it I am out.  I wake up to sun shining
in my face and my arms around Brit.  I smile at her sleeping.  Regardless
of what the world may think about her, I knew she was a mature and brave
young woman.  I wake her up and she goes to her room to get ready while I
get myself and dom up.  We leave Dom with Bryan and Jamie Lynn to go to the
meeting.  Regardless of her words the night before I can see how tense Brit
is about this.  With her parents we are escorted to the meeting room.  Much
like the other meeting rooms I have been seeing lately.  As if reading my
mind Brit leans over and whispers.

"Don't they ever make these rooms different than each other?"

	The execs come in and shake hands with all of us and look
apprehensive.  They are the ones used to calling the shots and this times
have the meeting called on them.

"I want to thank ya'll for coming so quickly." Brit starts.

"Of course Ms. Spears, anytime you need us we are there for you."

"And I appreciate that.  I'm not gonna beat around the bush or anything.  I
am just gonna put it right out there for us.  I'm pregnant."

	No one spoke.  I think we were holding our breaths to see the
reaction of the execs and the execs were shocked.  Brit squeezed my hand.

"Ms. Spears..... this is ....."

"What Wyatt is trying to say is congratulations on your pregnancy.  We know
that life has unexpected twists and turns and that is what we are here
for." the woman exec said.

"Thank you.  I don't want this to end my career but at the same time am
realistic and know that it could." Brit said.

"No one can see the future.  What we will do is try our best to positive
spin this.  Are you and the gentleman getting married?"

"What gentleman?" Lynn asked.

"Why the young man next to her, isn't he the father?"

"Lady you really don't read the papers do you?" I ask.

"Excuse me?"

"I am craig Bingham."

"Oh from One of the Guys.  Oh...."

"Yeah the same....gay, married to Howie D."

"I'm sorry, I...."

"Listen there is no gentleman involved.  Well not anymore.  Its just me."
Brit said.

"Ah, so the single mom route.  Well, its been done.  Usually by an older
woman but it can be done again."

"But the fans?  Your fan base is teenage girls.  There is going to be
negative back lash with teen pregnancy." Wyatt spoke up.

"More than there is now?  I am already being blamed for the way they dress
and act!"

	This went on for awhile.  Brit's parents were amazing, they backed
her one hundred percent.  The final conclusion came to.

"Going about the tour as normal for now.  Not talking about the pregnancy.
Working on new material for the new CD and doing what we can to conceal the
pregnancy.  PR will be put on the job to positively high light America's
pop princess being pregnant.  Not being due until September we have time to
work on it to make sure its one hundred percent fool proof." Wyatt said.

"What's fool proof, my daughter's pregnancy?" Jamie asked.

"Yes."

"No what you want is to make sure the tour is sold out before you break the
news!" Lynn said.

"Not at all Mrs. Spears.  We just want to make sure the way we break this
news to the public is right.  We will arrange an interview with Rolling
Stone and get it out there with as much finesse and grace as we can."

	We left the meeting and went back to the house.  The whole way we
discussed what had happened.  I was with Brit's parents and was pissed at
the way they were treating her.

"This is crap, just because you are signed to them they get to run your
life?" I said.

"Craig.."

"They get to decided when your going to do it and how.  That's bullshit.
Its your life, your baby and your choice.  If you wanted to come out
tomorrow and tell People magazine that should be a choice YOU make."

	Brit put her hand on mine.

"Craig I know.  And I know that this is so much like what is happening with
Howie.  Big coincidence considering we're managed by the same people.  But
I am okay with it for now.  Nothing they said in there offended me.  I am
okay with it.  The moment I am not I will walk.  I don't have to worry
about four other peoples fate with my decision."

"It just sucks Brit." I said with a sigh.

"I know." she said and put my head on her shoulder.

	We rode the rest of the way in silence.  When we got back to the
house Brit's parents filled Bryan in while we took Dom and Jamie Lynn out
for some shopping and fun.

	We hit the mall and did the stores.  We hit the kids stores and
outfitted Jamie Lynn and Dom for summer.  Brit wistfully looked at the baby
clothes.

"Are you going to find out what sex it is or wait?" I asked.

"Find out.  That way I can decorate and shop for nine months." she said
with a whisper.

	We went to the food court and got some lunch.  Being Brit's
hometown everyone knew her and we were swamped with autographs, but
tactfully.  After lunch we went to the carousel and rode.  By the time we
got back to the house everything had settled in and we were ready for the
future.  We got to bed early since we would heading to Orlando the next
day.

	The next morning we had an early breakfast with Brit's family and
said our goodbyes.  Brit drove me and Dom to the airport.

"I'm gonna miss you two so much." she said as the valets unloaded our bags.

"I know, me too.  But when I get back to Tucson you are always welcome,
anytime." I say as I grab Dom's car seat.

	We hug and get misty for a minute and then laugh.  She bends down
and gives dom a big hug and kiss.  She climbs back in her car and I wave to
her as she pulls away.  The baggage taken care of I take Dom to check in.
We get our passes and wait for a half hour before our flight is called.  We
take our seats and before I know it we are in Orlando.

	We disembark from the plane and as we come out of the terminal I
see Howie and Brian waiting for me.  When they spot us, Howie comes running
over and throws his arms around the two of us and starts kissing us both,
while Brian stands to the side and smiles.  I hand Dom to Howie and go over
to Brian and give him a hug as well.

"So how are things Bri?" I ask.

"So far so good.  Its like old times, we are together again and we're all
for one and one for all." he says with a smile.

"Have you heard from Jordan?"

"We talk every other night.  He is going out every weekend but told me to
let him know when I get into town and he'll keep that weekend open."

"Sweet!"

"What's sweet?  Besides you?" Howie asks.

"You!" I respond and kiss him on the lips.

"Come on, security should have got the baggage by now, lets go to the limo
and get to the house." Howie says and grabs my hand.

	We walk through the airport hand in hand with our child and I love
it.  Of course we get looks, but that's nothing.  When you're a celeb
people tend to stare.  We get to the limo and find that the bags are
already there so we head to Howie's condo.  When the limo pulls up AJ,
Kevin and Nick come busting out of the house to greet us.

	Dom is bouncing and smiling as he see's all his uncles at once.
Who of course pass him amongst themselves.  Howie takes this opportunity to
embrace me and give me a kiss that literally takes my breathe away.  We
pull apart and I smile at him.

"I missed that." I say.

"Me too." he responds.

"Ugh!  Not me.  Too many PDA's here!" Nick says with a groan.

	The guys all laugh and we head up into the house.  Howie takes our
bags to the room while the guys settle onto the floor with Dom and start
playing.  I sit on the couch and laugh.

"So AJ how was England?" I ask.

"Don't know, didn't really see much of the countryside.  But the men are
very nice."

"Come on Craig, you expect our resident horn dog to have actually done
anything other than the guy he went to see?" Nick asked and got a pillow in
the face upon saying it.

"So what or who did you do Nick?" I ask.

"Ummm, packed up Willa and found a roommate." he responded.

"Oh, sorry Nick.  I didn't know."

"Nah, it was over before I last saw you, I just didn't want to admit it.
But its cool with my new roommate I am meeting A LOT of girls." he said
with a grin.

"Yeah, ask him who his roommate is." Kevin said.

"Who?"

"Justin Timberlake."

"Your living with the lead singer of Nsync?  HA!" I said and started
laughing.

"What's so funny?" Howie asked as he slid onto the couch.

"That your boy is rooming with the competition."

"Oh that!  Funny story, Nick gets all the girls because Justin is gay!"

"No!"

"Way" AJ said with a grin.

"I would have never guessed that." I said.

"You would have after you saw him and AJ that one time." Kevin said with a
smirk.

"AJ!"

"What?  I was drunk he was hot, so sue me!"

	We all busted up at that.  The rest of the afternoon went by like
that.  We joked and talked and caught up.  Before we left Howie and I were
in the nursery changing Dom's diaper when we noticed the beginning of some
redness on his behind.

"Wow, someone's getting a rash." Howie said.

"He was fine this morning.  That's weird." I said.

"Maybe the heat?  But baby boy is okay, aren't you?" Howie goofed at him.

	Dom just laughed and kicked his feet.  We finished diapering him
after putting some powder on.  Then we all left the condo.  We grabbed a
quick bite to eat on the way to Howie's parents to drop Dom off.  After
visiting with my in-laws for a bit we left for the show.

	It had been awhile since I had been at one of the guy's concerts.
I forgot the pandemonium that was backstage.  The guys all changed into
their gear and quickly left the dressing room just leaving Howie and me.  I
looked at him questioningly.

"Okay so I wanted a quickie before the show and arranged for the guys to
leave us alone." he said with a smile.

	He pulled off his shirt and dropped his shorts showing that he went
commando.

"No complaints here." I said.

	With that he came over to where I was sitting on the couch and laid
on top of me and started to kiss me.  I ran my hands up and down his sides
as he started to kiss my neck.  I reached down and undid my shorts as well
and work them down to my calves.  We worked our hard cocks against each
other and kissed.  Howie went back to my neck and I reach down and holding
both our cocks together began to jack them off.

	Howie groaned and bit my neck.  I moaned and he held on and licked
and sucked at the bite mark.  Leaving one hand to play with his cock, I
used to other to play with his ass.  I brought my hand back and stuck my
middle finger in his mouth, he wet it and I brought it back down and after
a moment of toying, used it to penetrate his ass.  He moaned and smiled.
He reached down and came back with lube.  He squirted some into the palm of
his hand and worked it into my cock, while I used some to lube his ass.

	He sat up, held onto my cock and then sat down slowly.  We both
moaned a little as my cock entered his ass.  With a gasp Howie took it all
and started to ride it.  I laid there while he rode my cock running my
hands up and down his muscular body.  I worked his nipples and he leaned
down to kiss me.  Then he sat back up, arched back and grabbed my ankles
and started to gyrate with all his might.  His ass was squeezing my cock
and I felt like I was going to blow.

"Baby, I'm gonna cum!"

	With that I started to shoot my load into his hot ass.  Halfway
through cumming Howie's ass clenched my cock as I watched cum shoot from
his untouched cock across his chest.  He shuddered and more shot out.  He
pulled off of me and gave my cock a squeeze and kissed me full on the lips.
Then he stood and said.  "We need to shower so I can get on stage in ten
minutes!"

	We laughed and got into the shower.  I was on my best behavior only
groping him five times.

	He got out of the shower and into his clothes with barely enough
time to load the boards with the guys.  I stood in the wings and watched as
they flew in over the stage to Larger Than Life and then segued into I Want
It That Way.  It had been awhile since I had seen them perform (rehearsals
not included) and was blown away by their performance.  Howie sang to the
wings during his verses of Spanish Eyes.

	But the big surprise was during the solo songs.  Howie came out to
the refrains of My Heart Stays With You and then called for me to join him.
I walked out onto stage and the audience cheered loudly.  He sat me on a
stool and proceeded to serenade me.  At the end we kissed and the crowd
cheered us on with only a few boo's.

	After the show the guys were ready to go out on the town but the
two of us opted for the home route.  We got to the condo and after
showering hit the bed and cuddled.  I decided that now was the best time to
bring it up.

"Howie?"

"Yeah?" he looked up at me.

"What do you think about me taking Dom to see Judy and them when they come
to Tucson?"

"What?"

"Umm, they called and asked if they could see him."

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing, I wanted to talk to you first."

"No.  I don't want our son being around those people."

"Howie."

"Howie what Craig?  They were horrible to their daughter and you are
actually considering letting them see our son?"

"They are his grandparents."

"No.  Our parents are his grandparents.  Not them.  They gave up any and
all rights when they did what they did to Rachel."

"People make mistakes."

"Sometimes your too damn nice for your own good." he said and turned away.

	I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.

"Baby, I don't want to fight." I said.

	He turned away again and said good night.  I turned away from him
and fell asleep like that.  I awoke in the morning to find that Howie was
already out of the bed.  I went downstairs and found him in the kitchen.  I
went up behind him and put my arms around him.  He pulled away and sat at
the table.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing.  You know what?  You think they should be able to see him then
fine, let them.  I don't want to fight about this."

"Okay, so lets not."

"So your going to?"

"Yeah."

"Fine."

"Wait, I thought you said it was okay.  That we would agree to disagree?"

"We are.  Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

	And that is how the rest of the morning went until we went to pick
up Dom. Paula told me that Dom's rash had gotten redder during the night
but she had applied the cream this morning and that it looked a little
better the last time she had changed him.  I thanked her and after
promising to come sooner next time we were on our way.  No words to me but
Howie opened up and chatted his son the whole way to the airport.  When we
got there he carried Dom while I got the bags.  He sat at the gate waiting
with us and when the flight was called, gave a goodbye kiss to Dom and
handed him to me.

"I love you craig.  Its just sometimes you piss me off.  But I love you.
Know that." he said.

	He leaned over dom and gave me a kiss.  He started to pull away and
I pulled him back and kissed him deeper.  Then he pulled away and turned to
leave.

"I love you craig."  "I love you too." I said to his back.

	I looked down and saw Dom looking up and me.

"Everything will be alright baby boy.  I promise."

	We boarded the plane and were on our way to Tucson.  When we
arrived in Tucson I called the service to pick us up and bring us to the
house.  Arriving at the house I was greeted at the door by Lucky.  I found
a note on the table from Sel.  Her and the maid had been feeding Lucky and
he was trained to the doggy door so he had been no problem.

	I put the bags down and got Dom out of his carrier and we went out
to the patio, Lucky followed and ran around the yard chasing after his
ball.  I put Dom in his outdoor playpen and sat at the table enjoying the
warmth of the sun.  My phone rang and I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey bro, nice to see your back."

"Hey Sel, you wanna come over and hang out for a bit"

"Kinda hard to, we're in Monterey right now."

"What?"

"Yeah, Uncle Bill got this nasty viral infection when him and martin were
in Australia.  Mom and me flew out to be with him for a few days.  Don't
you check your messages?"

"Not when I just walked in the door.  God, is he going to be alright?"

"Yeah, the docs say plenty of bed rest.  You know mom though, its her
little brother so she's wanting to be here."

"Yeah and you just wanted a few days break from school right?"

"Hey, I graduate in a month and a half, its not like I'm missing a test or
anything."

"Alright, send them my love and I'll talk to you later ok?"

"Alright.  And tell my nephew I miss him."

"Will do.  Love ya."

"Love ya too."

	I hung up and then dialed my voice mail and found the messages Sel
and mom had left.  And also found one from Scott.  He and dad were driving
up to Phoenix and would be gone for two days at a conference.  He wanted me
to check on Beth while he was gone.  Then there was a message from Judy.
They were in town and wondering if we were going to come over to visit.

	I felt funny inside.  Part of me wanted to do what Howie said and
refuse.  But then part of me wanted to let them know their grandson.  I
mentally flipped a coin and went with my feelings.  I called Judy.

"Hello?"

"Hey Judy its craig."

"Well hello stranger."

"How was your trip?"

"Not bad, Tim and Josh are still en route with the girls.  Naomi and I came
a day early to set up the house."

"Cool, we just got in ourselves."

"Oh and where were you?"

"We took a trip to Orlando so Dom could see his other daddy while he's on
the road."

"Oh, that's sweet."

"So I was thinking, I was going to be near the old neighborhood tonight and
thought maybe dom and I could stop by."

"That would be great!  Around five maybe?"

"Sure.  I just need to lay him down for a nap."

"Sounds good.  Would you like to join us for dinner?"

"Sure."

"Good, so we will see you around five."

	I hung up and the twisting feeling in my stomach didn't go away.  I
knew Howie was mad because I was doing this.  But, he had given me
permission.  Grudgingly.  I got Dom out of his playpen and brought him back
in the house.  He was rubbing his eyes, so I laid him down in his crib for
a nap.  While he was sleeping I brought the bags up to the laundry room and
started washing our clothes.  Brought the new stuff we had bought and put
it away in his closet.
	On my way downstairs the phone rang and it was Beth.

"Hello sweetie."

"Hey craig, how was the show?"

"It was awesome.  When he did My Heart Stays With You he brought me onstage
and serenaded me."

"In front of everyone?  How romantic."

"Yeah that was the extent of it."

"What happened."

"Well..."

"What did you do Craig?"

"Well, Judy has been calling and they want to see Dom, I had to talk to
Howie before I could make a decision and of course when I talked to him he
blew up, he says to go ahead and do what I want but I know he's not happy
about it so the rest of the trip we were mad at each other."

"Wow.  So your taking Dom to see Rachel's family and Howie understandably
is unhappy about it?"

"That's the gist of it."

"So these people that were horrible to their daughter and disowned her,
your going to let your son know them?"

"Beth, I know that's what happened.  But I have been talking to Judy and
she sounds so regretful lately.  I am not saying that makes up for what she
did, but you know what, I think I am just as bad if I deny them their
grandson."

"Your damned either way.  Someone's not going to be happy with you.  I just
thought you would want Howie to be the happy one."

"Anyways, new subject, how are the boys?"

"Nice.  Well okay, the boys are in Pine top with my mom.  Since Scott went
out of town for a few days, my mom volunteered to take them so I could have
some peace and quiet."

"What about if something happens to you?"

"Well your mom and Sel are here."

"No, they went to California this afternoon cause Bill is sick."

"Oh, so its just me and you now eh?"

"Sad to say.  But I am here and well versed in Lamaze."

"Well I'm not due just yet, but its comforting to know.  Hey my show is
starting.  I'll call you if I need anything.  And you do the same ok?"

"Ok."

	We hung up and I looked at the time.  I still had a few hours til
five.  I went down to my office and got on my computer.  I had a ton of
emails.  Fan mails through my show account, business emails through my
account that Jeff had set up, and personal email from friends and family in
my personal account.

	I spent a few hours answering everyone and around four thirty heard
Dom cry in the monitor.  I went upstairs and changed him.  The diaper rash
hadn't gotten any worse but it wasn't looking any better.

"Aww baby boy I know this is sore.  Lets put some cream on for you." I said
as I applied the rash cream and got him dressed in one of the new outfits
that Brit had picked up.  I grabbed his diaper bag and headed to the
garage, remembering to set the alarm on my way out.

	When we got in the garage I saw the Escalade and felt a twinge of
remorse.  I really should call Howie and let him know what I was about to
do.  I loaded Dom into the Cherokee and when I hit the road I dialed up
Howie's cell.  Instead of Howie I got his voice mail.  I left a message
just asking him to call me.

	We hit the old neighborhood soon after.  I looked around and saw
nothing had changed.  It seemed like only yesterday I was cruising down
this road to pick up Rachel for school.  I pulled into the drive and when
we got out Judy came out to greet us.

"Its so nice to see you too again."  she said and hugged us.

	I looked at her and she looked different.  Gone was the excess
weight.  Her face showed the signs of aging and something more.  Regret?
She held out her arms for Dom and I let her hold him.  He just looked up
and her questioningly and then back to me.  I nodded and he smiled up at
her.

"He is so cute.  He looks just like you."

"Thanks.  Everyone tells me that, but you don't think he looks a little
like Rachel?"

	Judy looked down at Dom and then back at me and I could see some
tearing in her eyes.

"A little.  Now come on lets get inside and talk."

	We entered the house and I saw nothing had changed.  the religious
icons everywhere.  The family portraits, minus Rachel.  I smelled something
good coming from the kitchen and commented on it.

"That's Naomi, she's making meatloaf and potatoes." Judy said as she sat.

"Sounds good.  So what brings you guys to town?" I asked.

"We felt like coming to Tucson for awhile.  The girls are out of school so
we got a jump start on summer vacation."

"How are Kali and Crystal?"

"A handful, but we love them like our own."

	Rachel's cousins who Tim and Judy had adopted from the state when
their mother went to jail for drug charges.  Dom started to fuss so I took
him back and he played with my bracelet.

"So how far along is he with crawling and all?" Judy asked.

"Well, he hasn't crawled yet, but he is rolling and when he is on his
stomach he attempts push ups.  Its cute.  He is babbling a lot and I am
waiting for his to say dada any day now."

	We talked a while longer on how I had been raising him and his
medical stuff.  When I asked why she said she was curious because of
Rachel's medical history.

"He's the healthiest baby Judy.  Dr. Hannigan says so everytime we go in.
His only problem at he moment is this pesky diaper rash.  He was fine in
Louisiana but when we got to Orlando he started getting one.  It got real
red for the first night but now I think we have it under control."

"Babies, they get them a lot no matter how well diapered you keep them."
she responded.

	Then Naomi came out and told us it was time for dinner.  We went in
the dining room and sat down to eat.  I sat Dom in his carrier in the chair
next to me and demonstrated my parent skill of feeding myself and him at
the same time.  Judy and Naomi kept watching me.  We talked about
everything but Rachel during the meal.  After the meal Naomi cleared the
table and went into the kitchen to do the dishes and Judy and I went back
to the living room.

	By this time Dom was more open to her and was letting her hold him
and play with him.  We started talking a little about Rachel and Judy told
me that she wished that things had been different.  But she still stuck by
her religious principles.  I felt for her.  I mean Kevin was going through
the same with his beliefs and his best friends being gay.  Which was
something I brought up to Judy.  She disowned Rachel for not following her
beliefs yet I was gay and that went against everything they believe but
they accepted me.  She skirted around the subject.  Then my cell phone
rang.  I excused myself and took the call.

"Hello?"

"Craig?  Oh my god, my contractions are bad!"

"Beth?!"

"I've timed them to five minutes apart and OH MY GOD!"

"WHAT?!"

"My water just broke!"

"Okay I am on my way.  I'll be right there."

"Ok, I'm gonna call the hospital and try and get scott or my mom.  Hurry!"

	I hung up and was struck by a problem.  Dom.  I couldn't bring him
to the hospital and be in there with beth.  I had no one to watch him.
Everyone was gone.  I called Howie in a panic and again got his voice mail.
By this point Judy had come in.  When I told her the sitch she made a
suggestion.  "I can watch Dom for you."

	Panic alarm.  All signs point to NO.  But what else was I going to
do.  At this point Beth was calling again saying she had called everyone
and they would be on their way but the collective whole of that was that no
one would be in town for at least five hours.

"Okay, Judy, I'm going to leave him with you.  His bottles and diapers are
in the bag.  He should be good feeding wise but sometimes likes a bottle
before bed.  He usually lays down around eight."

"I have raised babies Craig, I know what to do.  Go to Beth."

	I picked up dom and gave him a hug and kiss.

"I'll be back for you baby boy.  Be good."

	I handed him to Judy and flew out the house and into the Cherokee.
I felt a twinge of uncertainty but it got shelved as I flew over to Beth.
When I got there she was in the door with a bag.  I got her in the car and
we were at University Hospital is moments.  I had called ahead and they
were already prepped for her.

	I scrubbed up and put on the gown and joined them.  Beth was half
dilated and they expected it to be a little while.  Her vitals were all
fine and the doc suggested just to soothe her and help her through her
contractions.

"Craig, I couldn't...hunh...get a hold of Scott.  The...unh...desk would
get him the message but can you...oooh...check?"

	I went out to use my cell and got Scott.  They were on their way
but there was a pile up on I-10 and that was going to add at least an hour
to the two hour trip.  Beth's mom was on her way from Pine Top, but that
was five hours.  So for the time it was me and beth.  I went in and told
her.

	Her contractions were closer and she was gripping my hand something
fierce when the doctor came back in and told us that she was ready.  We
started to do the breathing and the pushing.  I kept getting flashes of
Rachel doing this.

	At 2am April Fools Day my niece came into this world.  I cut her
cord and they cleaned her and handed her to beth.  She was a screaming
little red thing and I loved her instantly.

"Oh my little girl.  Kaitlyn Maree Bingham." Beth said with a smile.

"That's the name you guys picked?"

"Yup."

	I looked down at the little princess and smiled.

"Welcome to the family sweetie." I said.

	At that moment scott and my dad burst through the door.  Scott flew
over to his wife and little girl.  My dad stood in the door and smiled.

"How did you guys get here so quick?" I asked.

"Police escort and frontage roads." he smiled.

	Scott called us over and we stood admiring the new addition to the
family.  I excused myself and went to call Judy.  She answered and I told
her the good news and that I would come and get Dom in a half hour.  She
said she would have him ready for me.

	I went back to the room and told them I had to get Dom.

"Who has him?" Scott asked.

" uh Judy."

"WHAT?!" my dad exclaimed.

"Calm down dad.  Its cool I was there for dinner and when Beth called I had
no other choice.  But its ok, I just called and she said everything is
alright and she'll have him ready for me."

"Go get him son.  You don't want him anywhere around them."

	I left the room and started to get that feeling I had previously in
the evening.  I tore off the scrubs and went down to the lot and got the
Cherokee.  I made it over to Judy's in twenty minutes and went up to the
door.

	The door was opened by an officer.  There was another gentleman
standing behind him that could only be a lawyer.

"Craig Bingham?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I am Officer Nathan and this is Anthony Jed, the Cleary's lawyer."

"What's the problem officer, I am just here to pick up my son."

"The problem is for you son, your son is being taken from your custody and
being kept by his maternal grandparents for safe keeping."

"Haha, ok so who says church folks don't have a sense of humor.  Okay you
got me.  April Fools.  That's cool.  Judy?!"

"Sir, please step away from the door."

"JUDY?!"

	I saw her in the back of the room holding Dom who was crying.

"Okay jokes up let me have my son."

"Sir, I told you already.  Your son is being kept here for safekeeping.
Please step back from the door."

"What?!" I yelled and pushed into the door.

	The officer pushed me back to the walk and the lawyer and he
stepped outside and closed the door behind them.

"You've been accused of being an unfit parent and as such are being served
with papers to be in court for a trial.  Your child is being kept with his
maternal grandparents for safekeeping.  If you have any questions, I would
advise you to have your attorney contact me.  My number is on the card."
the lawyer said.

"You cannot take my child from me.  I have done NOTHING to be accused of
being unfit and I will not leave this doorway until THEY GIVE ME MY SON!"

"If you do not leave this property right now, you will be forcing me to
take you downtown into a holding cell for the night.  Leave this property
now." the officer said.

	It was two thirty in the morning.  My son was screaming like he was
being killed.  These people were keeping me from him.  I did the only thing
a father can do in this situation.  I decked the cop and bolted for the
door.

	Before I could get halfway there I was hit in the back of the head.
As I went down all I could hear was my sons cries.

To be continued...