Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 13:15:08 EDT
From: VegasDevo@aol.com
Subject: N*College Chapter 3

N*COLLEGE

****disclaimer****

If you're under 18 please don't read this.  I don't know/own/affilaited/
with any members of N*sync.  Nor do I own the name N*sync

****author's note****

Ok I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but this is my first time at
doing this, so please be aware!  I plan to make this a long story, so I
hope you enjoy it!

BTW, incase ur wondering where I got this "Brett" character...well it's
basicaly based on me really.  Almost all of Brett is true except the name
and I'm not at UNLV, yet :)

enjoy..


Chapter 3

	After class Justin and I started walking around the huge campus,
taking in all the scenery.  It was around six o'clock, a perfect night, not
too warm, not too cold, perfect.

	"Hey Justin, can I ask you something?"

	"Sure, anything Brett..."

	"Well...why are you here? Really why are you here?"

	"It's kinda complicated Brett..lots of things involved." Justin
replied.

	"I mean just looking at it from the simple perspective; you're in
the number one band in the world, sold millions upon millions of c.d.'s.
Yet you decide to go to college right in the middle of your rise to super
stardom.  I don't get it.  I mean I bet there's more to it than
that...right?" I asked curiously.

	"The simple answer is...I or we have been totally exhausted,
drained of all our energy.  We needed a break, we deserved a break.  We've
been touring and promoting nonstop since March.  I hadn't seen any of my
family, the most I could contact people was with my cell phone.  That gets
pretty monotonous after a while.  I thought I was going to go crazy.  So
one nite the five of us had a meeting and agreed we were going to threaten
management if they didn't give us a break...we'd quit.  They agreed.  So
here I am at college, on my first break since March break. I thought it was
the best thing to do, study acting, at one of the most respectable theatre
department." Justin told me.

	"Sounds like the life of a rock star, isn't all that glamorous."

	"Not at all...I mean it's not like N*SYNC is dead or anything..we
just have September to May off...and then we tour for the summer.  And
we'll do promotional stuff here and there and some charity things during
the year.  It lowers the stress level a lot.  And we all have things to
keep us busy, during the time off."

	"That's cool...you have like an alternative life style" I said.

	"Yea...an alternative life style, never thought of it like that.  I
can be normal for once."

	"You normal? HA, never.." I joked.

	"You're just rolling with the punches today funny man.." Justin
joked back.

	"What can I say? You give me good material" I shot back.

	"You better sleep with one eye open tonight bud." Justin
theatrened.

	"Is that supposed to scare me..?" I asked.

	"It should!!"

	We just kept walking and laughing for a while.  We got back to our
dorm room and settled down on the couch.  The dreaded question was bound to
come up at any second...

	"What should we do..?" Justin asked it before I could.

	"Trust me, if I had any idea's, we'd be doing it now, but I don't"
I told Justin.

	"Ohh..you want to show me what we can use for our project?" Justin
asked.

	"Oh right...totally forgot, let me go get my stash of scripts."

	I went into my desk drawer and got the scripts I brought.  There
was about twenty of them..I don't know why I lugged all twenty or so out to
show Justin, when I knew which one I wanted us to use.

	Justin started flipping through them...reading a little here and a
little there. It seemed like he couldn't find anything.  I got up the
courage to ask him about the one I thought was surely get us an A+.

	"I have this one here...it's called "The Food Chain".  It's a dark
comedy, sorta.  Good ending, I love it.  And there's a great scene we can
use." I informed Justin.

	"Really..? Let me have a look."

	I handed Justin The script...hoping he'd like it. He started
flipping the pages, reading the intro and set design and other stuff.

	"The scene we can use is in Scene 2, between Serge and Otto.  I can
see you being Serge and me being Otto.  The scene is funny, but if ya read
between the lines you can sense a whole under meaning.  We don't have to
use it if you don't want to, it's ok with me" I said.

	"Hmm...I'd be Serge right?" Justin asked.

	"..yea"

	"And you'd be Otto?" Justin asked again.

	"..yea"

	"And they're like umm...together?"

Uh oh...

	"Well not really...I mean they dated for like two seconds.  They're
the exact opposites of each other and it makes it funny because, like Otto
is still obsessed with Serge and Serge doesn't want to have anything to
deal with Otto.  And in the scene, Otto invited himself over while Serge is
waiting for a date to come over." I told Justin, cursing myself for
proposing this scene to Justin.

	"So..we'd have to act err, umm gay?!" Justin shockingly asked me.

	"Yea..I mean if it's too uncomfortable for you and you don't want
to do it, I'll totally understand." I lied, I'd feel more like the biggest
idiot in the world.

	"No, no, no...I'm okay with it.."  Justin started reading over the
scene and laughing out loud at some of the lines..hmmm maybe this wouldn't
be as bad as I expected him to take it.

	"Do you wanna start rehearsing it?" I asked Justin hesitantly...

	"Sure!" Justin said a little excitedly...

Hmm...why was he so excited?  So he doesn't have a problem with playing a
gay role..interesting.  Come to think about it..he really hasn't mentioned
any girlfriends or anything to that degree.  I wonder...

	"ok..let's take it from page 40" I told Justin

	"sure.."

Serge: What?

Otto: I'm sorry if I intruded.  You keep telling me to get on with my life.
For a year now, you've been telling me that.  "Get on with your
life"....But you are my life.

Serge: Don't be pathetic.

Ottto: If it's pathetic, it's pathetic.  If it's sick or sad or whatever it
is - it is the way it is.  I love you.  And you will love me again.
Someday....or you won't.  But I don't intend to give up trying.  I see no
advantage in surrender.

Serge: You keep telling me, I'll love you again.  But I never loved you.

Otto: What?

Serge: But I am in love.  Now.  For the first time.  Do you understand me?
He's on his way over here right now.  He went to get his things and he's
coming here, to live.  So you simply have to go..

Otto: But Serge...

	Justin started to move closer to me when he began these lines.
Each sentence getting closer.  I had no clue what he was doing, but I just
went with it.

Otto: So you just want me out of your life like that?  Just gone so you can
usher your new lover in? Huh?

Serge: Sorry...

	Justin then reached over and grabbed the back of my head and our
lips made contact. It sent shivers all over my body.  It was a soft, but
meaningful kiss.  Something someone dreams of.  I was dumbfounded he did
this.  He pulled away and just waited for my reaction.

	"Umm..that's not in the script Justin" I managed to say.

	"I know..it felt right." Justin told me.

	"I..I..umm" I was speechless.

	"Oh geez, I'm sorry Brett, I guess I misunderstood you, I'm soo
sorry, please forgive me..." Justin said as I could see tears start to
dominate his blue eyes.

	I was just so consumed on looking at those eyes...I didn't say
anything.  I thought I was looking at a painting or something. I forgot
that those eyes were real.  I forgot I secluded myself from reality.  And
before I knew it the eyes were gone.  I heard the bathroom door shut.  What
an idiot I was.  Why didn't I say anything!  I was stupid.

	I rushed over to the bathroom door and knocked.  I called out
Justin's name.  No reaction.  I knew he was in there though, I heard
muffled whimpering.  I felt bad I caused this.  I was the one who
instigated the whole thing by picking the scene.  It was my fault.

	"JUSTIN...please open the door..please? I'm not mad..I liked it." I
figured it was a shot.

	It worked, he opened the door and came back into the room.  Before
he could say anything, I embraced him in the most passionate kiss I ever
gave.  It lasted for a couple of minutes.  We parted but stayed close
together.

	"Sorry..I got caught up in the moment I suppose." I told Justin.

	"Fine with me.." Justin said dazily.

	There was that minute or two of dreaded silence, I hated it.  I
didn't know what to say.  What to do.  This was all extremely new to me.
I've never been kissed before.  Call me prude if you will, but I think I
was just waiting for the right person.  I knew I was gay for the longest
time.  Just never acted on those impulses.

	"I guess there's a lot more to you than just what MTV potrays.."I
said breaking the silence.

	"Tell me about it...It just seems like, you agree to have a certain
personality or something. For no reason.  Just to make things easier for
everyone.  But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know it's even
you?" Justin said poetically.

	"I know what you mean...People always say you should be yourself,
like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster, or something. Like
you can know what it is, even. But every so often, I'll have like a moment,
where being myself, and my life right where I am is, like, enough." I
replied back.

	"The time I have off...I feel like I can be the real me.  Not
pretending I'm some immature 19 year old." Justin said.

	"I always thought that was just a gimmick.." I told Justin.

	"So you've watched me before?" Justin asked.

	"DUH..I couldn't turn on MTV without seeing your face.  And I
watched a lot of MTV.  So yea I guess I'm a fan." I said.

	"Brett...I'm sorry I kissed you before, it was way out of line."
Justin said making up for his previous mistake.

	"No, it's ok.  It's just that I was shocked it actually happened.
It was my first.  I always dreamed of my first kiss...and wasn't aware it
was actually happening." I confessed to Justin.

	"Umm..that was your first kiss?? You're kidding right..?" Justin
asked.

	"Hard to believe right..?  I just never had the opportunity really.
Then I just figured I'd wait for the right person to come along.  I just
wanted to be perfect.  Like that moment when you kiss someone and
everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and
this person.  And you realize that; that person is the only person that
you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life.  And for one moment you
get this amazing gift.  And you wanna laugh, and you wanna cry, cuz you
feel so lucky you found it and so scared it will go away, all at the same
time" I told Justin.

	"Was it what you wanted it to be like?" Justin asked shyly.

	"Justin..I was left speechless, I think it was all it was dreamed
of and then some." I said sweetly to Justin.  His gorgeous smile crept
through his face.

	"So were you always gay Justin?"

	"Well...I knew I have been for a couple of years...but no one else
knows.  I mean if someone in the business finds out, it's career suicide."
Justin said.

	"Yea...I know what you mean.  I was actually forced 'out'."

	"Really..? I'm sorry Brett."

	"Nah, you don't have to be.  It was actually my own mistake, I was
stupid enough to trust someone.  Trust my best friend.  How foolish of
myself right?"  I said.

	"Trust is a hard thing.."Justin said.

	"Story of my life...well to make a long story short.  My best
friend Madison couldn't handle knowing what she knew and told my other
friend.  And that friend was so shocked Madison would do something like
that she told another one of my friends.  And that was going on for like a
whole month before I get knowledge of what was going on.  I was pissed.  I
didn't have control over my life." I confessed to Justin.

	"that totally sucks...I'm so sorry." Justin assured me.

	"You don't have to be..." I said back.

	"Can I tell you something Brett?"

	"Sure anything..."

	"I trust you..does that help?"

	"It does..I mean I haven't been able to trust anyone else ever
since.  It's hard for me to do.." I told Justin.

	"Do you trust me?" Justin asked.  Dam, why'd he have to ask that?

	"Well...sorta I mean no, well sorta, just sorta." I managed to
blurt out.

	"Sorta?.." I could tell Justin was hurt by that.

	"Please don't do this..." I pleaded with him.

	Justin nodded his head.  Making a mental note that he has to win
over Brett's trust, no matter how long it takes...

	Yet another awkward moment of silence....

	"Justin..what do we do from here?" I asked Justin curiously.

	"Umm...I guess, well you ok with a relationship?" He asked me.

	"Only if it's with you..." I said trying to get brownie points.

	"I'll take that as a yes...?"

	"More like a hell yea" I told him.

	"Great..so are you free tonight?" Justin asked shyly.

	"Are you asking me out on a date Justin?"

	"Absolutely."

	"great! I'm starved."

	"I know a nice restaurant at the Belliago, good Italian
cusine."Justin informed me.

	"Let's go..." I said way to excitedly..I couldn't believe I was
going out with Justin. I couldn't believe he liked me.  I couldn't believe
I couldn't believe.

************

Well thats it for chapter 3.  I wasn't expecting to get this far into the
story line so quickly.  Oh well!  There's lots more to come.  Just remember
that prologue..

E-mail me at VegasDevo@aol.com for any questions/comments/suggestions/ good
or bad or medicore.