Date: Sat, 04 Jan 2003 22:41:02 +0200
From: Neea P. <nea_1@hotmail.com>
Subject: (Boybands) Needing You chapter 29

Sorry this one took so long. I had a hellish case of writer's bock, and
even my usual remedies were of no use. Also, have you noticed that holidays
tend to be even busier times than work? It's the curse of having a large
family...

Thanks to Izzy (beta goddess - hang in there, love!), Summy (get better
hon-hon and thanks for the help), Kor (my Baby with wonderful ideas),
Libby, Rob and Dan, Writie, Metra, Peter, Ryan, Andy, Myoshi, Julienne,
Trish, Bethany, Jimmy, Lincoln, JT, Angel, Nyn, Cindy, at, and all the
other wonderful people who have graced me with their kind and helpful
comments. Hell, it's to everybody who takes the time to read it! Enjoy...

Disclaimer: This story is not meant to imply anything about the true
sexuality or personal lives of the celebrities mentioned. Adult (m/m)
content, probably foul language, don't be illegal, stuff like that. Any
likeness to people personally known to me is either purely coincidental and
unintended, or devoid of malevolence.

NEEDING YOU
CHAPTER 29
By Neqs

"But I thought it would be over!" Marshall whined.

Lance gave his fiance a level stare. "You thought that we'd have one night
of wild celebration with our friends and some other like-minded people,
freak out Carson Daly, and that would be it?  Magically, instantaneously
out of the closet?"

Marshall fidgeted. "I...damn! I know it doesn't work like that, but I'd
like it that way. Why can't I ever have things the way I want them?"

Lance tried not to laugh at the rapper's whiny tone and delicious pout. He
looked like an adorable ten-year-old when he pouted. The tiny freckles left
from their vacation in the sun didn't add any maturity to the image, just
more innocent charm

"Sweetie..." Marshall tried to remain grumpy, but it was hard when Lance
was using that tone of voice and nibbling the back of his neck. Still
grumbling, tilted his head back to get more of Lance's mouth on his neck -
an extremely sensitive area for him. Lance had sometimes jokingly wondered
whether it would be possibly to make him come just by touching his neck,
but they hadn't tried it...yet.

"What?"

"You need to lighten up. Things don't always go the way you want them to.
It's no biggie unless you let it bother you. Now, let's take your mind off
the unpleasant stuff, okay?"

And it seemed like Lance had read his mind because he started licking,
sucking, and nibbling Marshall's neck in earnest. The rapper moaned and
shuddered, suddenly unsteady on his feet.

"Maybe, ah, maybe we should move this to the bedroom?"

"Hmm," Lance hummed in between bites that sent pleasurable shivers down
Marshall's spine.  "Maybe."

Lance sounded breathless as well, and it was nice to know that he wasn't
completely unaffected by the same emotions that made Marshall close his
eyes, lean back, and arch against the dizzying touch.

"I just, mm, I just don't understand why everything has to be so, oh right
there, difficult and complicated," Marshall murmured distractedly as Lance
guided him through the bedroom doorway.

"It's because we make things difficult and complicated. Marshall, do you
really want to have a philosophical discussion right here, right now?"
Lance asked, torn halfway between annoyance and amusement.

"Ah, now that you mention it, we can talk about that later. Just...keep
doing what you're doing!"  Marshall said as they toppled on the bed in a
graceful heap of half-clothed bodies. Then, to Marshall's irritation, Lance
pulled back and smirked.

"See? Simple. Things are really simple when we get down to the basics. What
we want, what we need...the rest is just a matter of perspective."

"You're what I want, what I need," Marshall said huskily as he gazed at the
green eyes of the man beside him. "Now get on with it, will you?"

Lance chuckled. "You're too cute when you're like this, hon. Make me want
to tickle you breathless and lick you all over...You know, I've always
wondered whether anyone takes 'all over' literally. I mean I'm sure most
people bypass the armpits and the toes, for example."

"James, for fuck's sake!" Growling in frustration, Marshall rolled to
straddle Lance and pinned his arms above his head. "You measure my love in
how much you can make me suffer, don't you? No, don't answer that. Okay,
first of all, I've licked, suckled, and nibbled on each and every one of
your toes. Don't even try to pretend you don't remember! Second of all..."
Marshall leaned down and cautiously sniffed at Lance's armpit. Hmm, not
entirely unpleasant. He inhaled the musky aroma more decisively and buried
his nose into the moist, warm hair there. He couldn't smell any chemicals,
so he flicked his tongue over the half-hidden flesh
inquisitively. Salty...big surprise there. Nice, though, spicy and powerful
and private.

Marshall was a little surprised to realize that he wasn't the least bit
disgusted, despite being a neat person, but it made sense. This was Lance
after all, and there was nothing disgusting about Lance - except maybe the
way he picked his nose in his sleep, but even that was cute in a really
weird way.

He also thought that it would be a little hypocritical to be revolted by
licking a guy's armpit when you've had your tongue up his ass.

Marshall was just about to check under the other arm when he noticed that
Lance was whimpering and squirming in his hold. Alarmed, he let go and
looked up.

"Jamie? Babe, are you okay?" Lance sagged back against the mattress,
breathing heavily. He looked dazed and his face was flushed, but otherwise
he seemed fine.

"..."

"James!"

"...Oh God...that was, ah, amazing!"

Now it was Marshall's turn to smirk. "Pervert. But yeah, that was an
interesting experiment! I won't kiss you with this mouth, though..."

Resuming his sprawl half on top of Lance, Marshall nibbled his way to
Lance's ear, eliciting a shudder and a rumbling groan. Lance seemed to have
melted into the mattress.  Marshall's tongue circled the rim of his ear,
his mouth detouring to suck on the soft skin behind the ear. Marshall's
left hand slipped under Lance's tank top and explored his abdomen and
chest. His nipples were stroked, rubbed, and pinched before being soothed
again.

Lance's erection was tenting his pants and he felt like a fucking teenager
again. Here they lay, two grown men, experimenting with erogenous zones and
petting with most of their clothes on. He didn't laugh, though; he was too
busy moaning his pleasure. When Marshall's hand cupped his groin, his hips
rolled in reaction and he burrowed closer to the man nipping his earlobe.

"This is wonderful," he said with a smile, the warmth in his heart
overpowering the heat in his groin.

"What is?" Marshall breathed into his ear, sending a tingle down his spine.

"Just being here, with you. Trying new things with you, learning things
with you, and being silly with you. So, running the risk of repeating
myself or stating the obvious, but I'd do almost anything as long as it was
with you."

"Almost anything, huh? Not everything?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'd never try scat or what's-it-called, even with
you."

Marshall was cringing in horror and revulsion even before he could finish
the sentence. "Me neither! I'm sure it gets some people going, but I'll
leave it to them. Now, enough sweet talk." He ran the tips of his fingers
over Lance's lips, his eyes heating up when the singer opened his mouth
slightly, pulling in the ghosting fingers. He moaned as Lance alternately
rolled his tongue around them and sucked them, green eyes half-lidded and
glinting with desire and mischief.

Drinking in the sight of his lover, Marshall felt a surge of need.
Strangely, his earlier urgency hadn't diminished as much as transformed
into unhurried but equally intense savoring. He licked his way from Lance's
chin to his hairline, fascinated by his jawbone. He detoured to stake claim
on a pulse point, but finally arrived to his destination, the beautifully
curving ear still slightly moist from his earlier attentions.

Leaning on one elbow, Marshall slid a thigh between Lance's and let his
hands roam. He started a gentle, rocking rhythm, slowly building their
already peaked passion and bringing them to a shatteringly sweet
climax. Several minutes passed before either of them spoke.

"That was..." Lance said, with his eyes still closed. The smile on his face
would have looked silly if Marshall hadn't known he was wearing an
identical one.

"Yeah, it was. Always is with you," he murmured back, nuzzling Lance's
smooth neck.

"Ready to face the world now?" Lance asked and opened his eyes to slits.

"Yeah." Marshall smiled, feeling much more cheerful now. "Let's go rock
teenage America."

* * *

All in all, it was priceless. Lance snickered at the memory he'd savor for
all eternity. The charged feel of expectation in the air when Marshall
strode towards Lance, who was already chatting with Carson on camera; the
completely stunned looks when the two male superstars kissed on live
television; the sounds of disbelief and denial from the girls whose purpose
in life had been to become either Mrs. Bass or Mrs. Mathers (the former
being more numerous); and the ecstatic wailings of a redheaded girl in the
back row breaking the silence.

"I knew it! I knew it!" She was jumping up and down excitedly, grinning
madly. "You're my favorite pairing! I totally adore you guys! I'm SO happy
for you!"

Lance had given her a slightly bemused but appreciative grin. Her smile had
widened and her eyes shone, but after a few more bounces and victory cries
she'd quieted down.

The only real minus had been that they hadn't been able to surprise Carson
on air. On the other hand, his reactions at the party had been hilarious as
well.

The members of the press had been equally shocked, and many had displayed
incredulity. After all, just a short while ago there had been rumors about
Marshall getting back together with Kim - he and Lance had gotten a good
laugh from that one. And there were always stories about gay boy band
members. Besides, Lance Bass and Eminem? Didn't really sound like a match
made in Heaven. Little did they know...

There were verbal attacks, of course. Talk show hosts and comedians were
having a ball. Interviews with weeping fans were shown, along with tearful
lamentations that their idols were no longer single. The reactions would
have been as mournful even if their chosen mates had been female, perhaps
even more so. In a strange way, and despite the unlikely pairing, Lance and
Eminem's relationship seemed natural somehow. There was definitely no
chance of it being a manufactured scheme to get more media attention.

* * *

They'd had a few minutes to chat with Carson before the show.

"Lance, Marshall, thanks again for the great party."

"I'm glad you had a good time. You seemed to be enjoying yourself,
especially towards the ending," Lance said with a small smile and a
suggestively arched eyebrow.

Carson blushed. "Yes, I met some old friends and a few new ones. That's
what parties are for, right?" he said evasively.

"Right," Marshall said with a smirk. They'd been surprised to see Carson
leave with a guy, but only because they'd thought that Carson was very much
in the closet, maybe even in denial. Okay, effectively he was still
closeted, but he seemed at least willing to crack the door open every once
in awhile. He felt a little sorry for the guy, but Carson could be a little
obnoxious at times.

* * *

Marshall swore under his breath and hid his face in his hands. He drew up
his knees and curled into himself on the sofa. He felt sick, sick in his
stomach and sick in his heart, as he tried to ignore the pile of fan mail
on the table in front of him.

Someone had been kind enough to go through his lyrics and find every single
homophobic comment and slur and compile them into a list. It had taken
several pages, and the scathing, spiteful letter that accompanied it took
several more.

And that had been one of the nicer ones. As lousy this one made him feel,
some of the others were much worse - like the ones making threats on his or
Lance's life. He'd always gotten letters like that, but now that they
mentioned Lance as well it was a million times worse, and more terrifying
than embittering. Before, it had been easy not to care, not to let it
affect him - but now he couldn't help but take it personally, because the
person in question was someone he loved.

Marshall was proud that he no more needed to destroy things to vent his
aggressions: he'd worked hard for that measure of
self-restraint. Sometimes, though, it was horribly inconvenient to have to
act like a mature adult when all he wanted was to scream, rage, and throw
stuff around - preferably breakable stuff that made loud crashing noises
when it shattered.

The rage washing over him was actually a mixture of fear, shame, anger, and
self-recrimination.  After all, this mess was all his doing. He'd written
the lyrics, he'd voiced the slurs, and he'd acted like a violent
lunatic. He'd dragged Lance into the mess that was his life.  He soiled
everything he touched: he didn't mean to, but somehow he always managed to
ruin everything. Sometimes, he couldn't remember a moment accomplishment
that wasn't tinged with bitterness. Even his lightest days had dark edges,
and for him, every cloud held at least a few drops of icy rain.

Marshall didn't move from his huddled position when he heard Lance come in.
"Honey, what's the matter?"

For a moment Marshall didn't answer. When he looked up at Lance's worried
face, he felt his face try and fail to form a smile. His pained eyes
searched Lance's face before he spoke.

"James, why do you love me?"

Lance looked like he wanted to laugh, but the incredulity on his face faded
into solemnity as he took in the sadness pooling in his lover's blue eyes.

"How can you ask something like that? I love you because you're
you. Because you're sweet, smart, and loving. Because you like Jane Austen
and Chinese food. Because you do crazy stuff for me, and because you love
me. I love you because I can't help loving you."

Marshall felt a surge of love with Lance's words said in that intense,
sincere tone, but he soon deflated under the weight of his dark thoughts.

"I'm nothing but trouble. I affect people strangely, taint them or
something. Kim once said that I'm poison. I ruined her life, made her do
all the things I hate her for - I don't want to do that to you too,"
Marshall said, his voice full of hopelessness and sorrow, his expression
haunted.

Lance made a wounded sound and immediately moved to enfold Marshall in his
arms. When the other man just hunched further down and tried to pull back,
Lance murmured to him soothingly and tried to surround Marshall with his
love.

"Baby, it hurts me to hear you talk like that," Lance whispered into
Marshall's hair.

"See, now I'm hurting you! I always make a mess of things."

"That's bullshit, Em! You're hurting, and that means I'm hurting as
well. It follows naturally from the fact that I love you! I love you and
you're insulting me by doubting that love, and by belittling the man I
love."

When Marshall tried to apologize again, Lance silenced him with a tender
kiss and a quick smile, which made Marshall lose some tenseness. "Now, what
brought this on?" Lance asked and tightened his arms around Marshall
reassuringly. Marshall gestured at the pile of mail.

"Just some horrible fan reactions. Awful."

Lance cocked his head. " Well, your fans are pretty horrible anyway,
right?"

Marshall's head shot up and his eyes sparkled with sudden anger. "You don't
know what you're talking about, my fans are great! Sure, there are a few
sick fuckers who make me sick, but they're not my fans. They're just people
who think they have the right to spew poison at me just because they've
seen me on TV. I say fuck them! My real fans will stick with me no matter
what, and..."  Marshall forgot what he was about to say when he saw the
big, smug smirk on Lance's face.  Realization dawned, slow but sure.

"You didn't..."

"Sometimes you just need a kick in the rump to get you on the right track.
'A few sick fuckers,' huh? Your 'real fans' will stick with you 'no matter
what.' There you go!"

His depression dispersed and his anger deflated, and Marshall shook his
head. He laughed in amazement, stubbornly trying to fight the smile
climbing his face. "You're really something, baby.  Every time I turn
around, you remind me why I love you so fucking much."

Lance chuckled, pleased with his success, eyes sparkling with merriment and
love. "You love me because I'm so...damned...hot..." Lance's voice lowered
with each of the last three words until the husky rumble of the last one
made Marshall shiver and start to salivate.  Lance's eyes made an instant
transformation from humor and affection to searing, seductive heat.

Marshall swallowed and leaned closer to his irresistible fiance, unable to
break the eye contact.  "That too, lover, that too..."

TBC...

Comments are greatly appreciated.  Please send some to nea_1@hotmail.com if
you have time. Even a short note lightens up my day and encourages to
write. I take requests if I find them interesting, and I often do. Thanks
for the wonderful feedback I've received so far!